windyhaven

[windyhaven]

For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

[windyhaven]

Check out this sick ass bug I found in the woods

M O T H

[windyhaven]

[windyhaven]

Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so goddamn hard because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.

But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart. Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a tired expression.

But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would probably fuck something up.

So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.

[windyhaven]

A Relationship the World Doesn't Understand: Rewriting the Rules

(wrote this because I've had enough!)

Lately, I’ve come across something new. Basically, it's an interesting concept I didn’t even know existed until it unexpectedly became part of my life.

To begin with, I’ve always pondered over the difference between a relationship and a friendship. Over time, that line started to become clearer and it wasn’t as blurry as I once thought. But then, another question surfaced. It’s kind of related, just a bit more specific:

What’s the difference between a committed relationship and an exclusive friendship?

For a long time, most of us have been taught that the ultimate relationship goal is a committed romantic partnership. Movies, books, and society often essentially spin around the idea of finding "the one," settling down, and building a life together. But what if that isn't the only path to deep, fulfilling connection? What if an exclusive friendship could offer just as much—if not more—emotional satisfaction, support, and freedom?

Let’s break this down.

What’s the Real Difference?

At a surface level, both exclusive friendships and committed relationships involve closeness, trust, and prioritizing each other. But the type of connection is very different.

A committed relationship typically involves romantic and physical intimacy. It comes with long-term goals like marriage, living together, or raising a family. There are expectations about exclusivity in love, sex, and shared life planning.

An exclusive friendship, on the other hand, is a deep, platonic bond between two people who choose to prioritize one another without romance or physical intimacy. There may even be a mutual understanding that they won’t build similar bonds with others. But there's no pressure to marry, cohabitate, or fit into a predefined relationship mold.

Why Exclusive Friendships Can Be More Fulfilling

1. Less Drama, More Freedom

Romantic relationships can be intense. There’s the pressure of being someone’s everything, fulfilling emotional and physical needs, and making long-term plans together. That often creates stress and leads to emotional highs and lows.

Exclusive friendships offer the loyalty and support of a relationship without the baggage. You don’t have to navigate jealousy, debates over future plans, or fights about finances. You get to just be together, as you are.

2. No Need to Perform or Be “Perfect”

In romantic relationships, there’s sometimes an unspoken need to be the ideal partner. This can lead to emotional exhaustion, especially when you're struggling with personal issues.

With a close friend, you can show up messy. You can vent, cry, be weird, and not feel judged. They’re not expecting romantic validation. They’re just there. And that kind of acceptance runs deep.

3. Independence is Respected

Exclusive friendships naturally allow more space for individual growth. You can have your own goals, hobbies, and even romantic partners (if that’s part of the agreement), and still have that one person who knows you inside and out.

In romantic partnerships, personal freedom sometimes clashes with the shared identity of a couple. In friendships, that conflict rarely exists.

4. Emotional Depth Without the Rollercoaster

Romantic love often relies on passion and infatuation, which can fluctuate. Friendships grow from mutual respect, shared experiences, and emotional safety. That makes the connection more stable and often more long-lasting.

You don’t fall out of friendship because attraction fades. You stay because the bond is rooted in something real.

5. Loyalty Without Sacrifice

Exclusive friendships offer a kind of loyalty that doesn’t demand you to compromise who you are. You don’t have to mold yourself to fit your friend's life. You can both support each other fully while still living separate, authentic lives.

In committed relationships, compromise is key, but it often comes at the cost of one’s individuality. That balance can be hard to maintain.

6. Less Pressure, More Presence

There’s no “next step” in exclusive friendships. No pressure to move in, get married, or build a family. That removes the timeline stress and lets you fully enjoy the present moment.

Romantic partnerships often revolve around the future, which can make people anxious or dissatisfied with the now.

Why Society Doesn’t Talk About This Enough

Despite how meaningful exclusive friendships can be, they’re often overlooked or misunderstood. This is due to a concept called amatonormativity—the idea that romantic love is the only “valid” or most important form of love. It’s the belief that everyone is better off in a romantic relationship and that romance should be the central focus of one’s life.

Amatonormativity tells us that if a friendship is close, it must eventually "turn into something more" to be valid. It shames people for not following the romantic script and assumes that friendship is just a stepping stone.

This stigma makes people doubt their own relationships. You might feel the need to “explain” why your friendship matters, or worse, feel like you’re missing out on something by not pursuing romance. But here’s the truth: you’re not. This belief is narrow and outdated.

Not everyone finds fulfillment in romance. Some people experience little to no romantic attraction. Others have been burned by relationships that drained them emotionally. And some just simply value their friendships more than their romantic lives - and that's valid.

Now What?

Exclusive friendships are often underestimated, but they can be some of the most stable, freeing, and emotionally rich connections you’ll ever have. They allow you to be fully yourself, grow independently, and experience deep, unconditional support without the stress and expectations that often come with romantic relationships.

There’s nothing “less than” about choosing friendship over romance. In fact, for many people, it might be the best choice of all.

And here's the thing, these friendships aren't a consolation prize. They're not the thing you "settle" for when romance fails.

In this grand scheme of life - a world, pretty much, obsessed with romance, choosing a friendship as your core relationship is a radical act. Sometimes, love just looks like someone who knows you fully, accepts you completely, and shows up for you again and again... not because they have to, but because they want to.

And isn’t that what we’re all really looking for?

[windyhaven]

[windyhaven]

a single andes chocolate mint from the olive garden can fully nourish an adult human for up to 96 hours

[windyhaven]

What the flock?! such smart names!

Science should let more cartoonists name things. That how we got the thagomizer and the Rube Goldberg machines. Anyways! SHERLOCK CROWMES!!!!!

Check out my stuff!

✧Read Namesake✧ ✧Read Crow Time✧ ✧Store✧ ✧Patreon���

[windyhaven]

hey as a local aroace, i want to specify something.

we're no strangers to love. you know the rules and so do i (do i). a full commitments what im thinking of. you wouldnt get this from any other guy. i just wanna tell you how im feeling. gotta make you understand. never gonna give you up. never gonna let you down. never gonna run around and desert you. never gonna make you cry. never gonna say goodbye. never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[windyhaven]

you want to be romantically attracted to someone? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?

[windyhaven]

Day 11642 of my silly aroace brain not fathoming how "friendzoning" is supposed to be bad

[windyhaven]

Being aroace as a teenager feels like being the only sober person at a rave.

[windyhaven]

‘there’s no platonic explanation for this’

buddy you wouldn’t believe what kind of platonic explanations im capable of

[windyhaven]

"friends don't look at each other like that" well okay you coward you do whatever you want however i WILL look at my friends like they're the most important thing in the world. i love them with my whole heart and i will hold their hand and stare at the stars not because i wanna fuck them but because they mean the world to me and i care about them. fuck you

[windyhaven]

Bruh did I just get clocked wtf

[windyhaven]

"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

[windyhaven]

me and my birdwatching bestie went to the park together the other day and saw TWO Greater Roadrunners! I hadn't seen a roadrunner since i was a little kid and was under the impression that they were very rare and/or endangered- google is now telling me that is incorrect, at least for that species, but it was awesome to see them anyway! :D

give me good bird news