wisteriaiswriting

[wisteriaiswriting]

If it's all right with you could I ask you to match yourself up with someone from valorant

I match myself with...

This was a surprise to get and took me a hot minute to actually think about!

Astra!

Astra really seems like the type of girl to trace any tattoo I have, sitting in silence or with some show on while her finger follows the ink.

Doesn’t mind me being quiet, does most of the talking until I open up more. 

She loves seeing all my little collections, seeing the different scented candles I have. She might join me every now and then with roller skating but mosting lets me skate around her. Will always join the sky yoga classes.

She enjoys just hanging around and doesn’t mind sitting in silence, but also enjoys getting gifts.

Astra - 4

Clove - 4

Cypher - 3

Sova - 2

Reyna - 2

Harbor - 1

Sage - 1

Skye - 1

[wisteriaiswriting]

Best Friends With Fig Cookie Headcanons

Words: 124

Request: Realize that not much people post about fig cookie, so I thought I should request some best friend headcanons about them! Is that cool with you? Requested by: @sugarfulwitch

Absolute bestie material right here.

They do the whole hopping around you as you talk, even as you’re walking they’re right by your side listening. They do like being near you.

Speaking of talking, they love telling you stories of the forest. Can talk for hours about it.

Not all the time but they’ll occasionally let you ride on their back as you two explore the forest.

Loves planning picnics and similar activities, enjoys just hanging around with you.

This includes them playing you some music with their horn, or teaching you about the surrounding forest and animals inside.

Not the type to play pranks on you unless you start first, simple and non-harmful ones over time before they even think of getting revenge.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Luke Nukem Dating Headcanons

Words: 132

Request: Hi! I was wondering if I can request luke nukem dating headcanons please and thank you 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Requested by: @thequeenofcupps

He isn’t the type of man to beat around the bush, if you want an honest answer just ask him. (This also includes around others, no shame here)

I feel like he doesn’t really understand affection and pda, if he did then he’d be all over you but due to his whole ‘soldier’ personality the most he does is hold your hand or a hug around others, but at night he’s all over you.

Speaking of night, he doesn’t really sleep. Always brushing you off before he returns to his post but you can convince him with attention and promising someone else will watch over.

Would carry you around but due to all his tech he doesn’t want to risk anything going off and hurting you, so he settles standing really close.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Spoiling Ragatha

Words: 397

Request: Ragatha with a doting S/O that spoils her or protects her from Jax Requested by: @golem543

I'm really hoping I got her personality down!

It took a while but you managed to strike a deal with Caine, all to get your dear girlfriend a present. One that wasn’t taken from this place, so now you were making your way through the circus trying to find her. Peeking in doorways and asking the others where she was, Jax was surprisingly helpful this time.

“Doll face? Yeah, saw her rushing off earlier, probably that centipede I left earlier.” Pointing towards another hallway. “I’ll deal with that and you later, but thank you.” With the gift tucked under your arm you made your way towards and then through the hall, keeping an ear out for her.

“Ragatha? Dear?” Something suddenly dropped onto the floor and as you got closer hearing them scramble to pick it up. Plus anyone else would’ve answered or shown themself, “Raggie, if that's you say something, please.” After a second her voice called back, “I’m fine!” You weren’t taking that answer.

Finding the room she was in just to see her sitting on the floor with a small sewing kit while fixing her arm, “What happened?!” Dropping your present to rush over, taking over as she tried to stop you. “No no no,” Moving her hands whenever they got close, “Tell me what happened and I’ll fix this.”

She knew that she couldn’t stop you at this point, sitting back as you worked. “Jax put another centipede in my room, this time I might’ve fallen…” “Might’ve? Babe, I am stitching your arm as we speak.” Soon enough you finished, tying it off before helping her up. Her eyes moved to the now forgotten present.

“What's this?” She was quicker to grab it, finding her name written on the tag. “Did you really get me a present?” “Uh, yeah but you weren’t meant to see it yet!” “Okay okay!” Handing it over as she smiled, “Why don’t we go lay down?”

***

Later on you two could be found in your room, her arms around your waist while yours were over her shoulders. She was already asleep as you didn’t want to deal with the centipede today, and your girlfriend was unaware of what you did to Jax in return. (He is currently freaking out over some corn placed near his door.)

Looking over at the present sitting on the side table, today wasn’t that day but maybe tomorrow will be better.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Agents With A Younger Partner

Words: 657

Request: Hii<3 Can I ask for some relationship headcanons for Tejo, Reyna, Brimstone and Iso (I really love him) with a younger, gender-neutral reader? Sending lots of good vibes your way!

Requested by: @es3la

He doesn’t mind the age gap and often pretends not to care about it, but he is keeping a close eye on you. Especially about how others treat you compared to other agents when you’re underestimated or dismissed.

Always so smug when they’re proved wrong about you.

Is your hype man, constantly hyping you up for just about anything. “You’re a bit younger, sure, but I’ve never seen anyone handle themselves like that.”

Sorry but he does tease you, plenty of age jokes and calling you ‘kid’ sometimes, but it’s to get a reaction from you. Never means to actually treat you like a child or that you’re immature.

Honestly he kinda forgets that he can keep learning, especially from younger people like you. So he’ll let you teach him about some tech, strategy and whatever else you wanna show him.

While he tends to be a man of flirtation and swagger that melts away into sincerity with you, often checking in as he doesn’t want to push you.

He does love you but he is also an old man and your energy can overwhelm him. Might tell you to calm down but he secretly loves your energy.

Not shy about pda, unless you are then he’ll take the comments like a champ.

She doesn’t see the gap as a negative thing, if anything someone as young as you fighting in the protocol and dating her? That's someone to be respected.

While you two are dating she can’t help but slip into more of a ‘guide’ role, offering wisdom, experience while letting you grow on your own.

Assuming you have a better, more optimistic view of the world as you haven’t seen as much as her, she finds herself wanting to protect it and you.

Is aware that you look good, but this doesn’t stop her from becoming jealous when someone your age flirts with you.

Doesn’t show much pda as she prefers to smother you in private.

She won’t really listen to any comments made by others but becomes so proud if you respond or do something that shows you’re happy to be with her.

On the other hand he is hyper-aware of the age gaps and is constantly worrying about it and if it’s too much, you have to assure him that it’s not weird or one-sided.

He took ages to commit and always asking ‘If you’re sure about this?’ But once you two are actually together he’s in it for the long run, loyal to you like no one else is.

Is completely aware of your independence and power but he’s still the type to walk on the street side of the sidewalk and always double checks your gear before missions.

You will have to tease him for being ‘basically a dad’ and he groans every time, but he never minds them.

Is 100% an old school romantic, getting you flowers, opening doors and even cooking you meals after long days. Makes sure you’re aware that he still loves you.

Sometimes he has bouts of guilt about dragging someone like yourself into such a dangerous lifestyle, but please be by his side during these moments.

He rarely ever mentions the age gap as he sees you as an equal and that's what really matters to him. (And the fact he can’t be that much older than you.)

Once again he doesn’t think about your age much, rather he listens and relates to your intensity and opinions.

This also leads to you two connecting through battle not banter, admiring your skill more than anything.He always relaxes around you while being rough with the others, not always affectionate but you’ll see his real self.

Doesn’t sugarcoat things, if someone comments on the relationship he just stares them down and returns the comment.

He doesn’t care what people think or say about the relationship, just as long as you're safe, loyal and you believe in him.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Elliot NSFW Alphabet

Words: 606

Requested by: @animallearner168

This was requested on my other account, @abyssalrot, but I'll be posting here instead.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Top tier, this man had everything prepared before you two fucked honestly. Doesn’t want to leave you waiting for anything, occasionally lets you take over aftercare. Those nights where he’s practically dead, enjoys the feeling of being cared for instead.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hands, they do so much for him, they let him work, enjoys his hobbies and touch you. (And now heal you) He would totally say ‘He couldn’t choose a favourite~’ before immediately choosing you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Prefers to cum inside but won’t really complain if you want to swallow it instead.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Low key wants to try something in public but has too much shame and doesn’t want to risk anyone seeing you in the act.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He has no experience, this man has been working for most of his life so… But he’s actually a quick learner so no worries.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

There’s not an absolute favourite one, though he does prefer to see your face and keep you in his arms.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He really tries to be serious but it quickly dissolves into small giggles and a laugh-y mood.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It’s groomed well enough, he doesn’t focus on cleaning himself down there much but it’s not out of control, and it does actually  match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He definitely tries to keep / make it romantic, even if it doesn’t stick he tries.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off more than you’d think, maybe once a day after work, if he’s extra stressed then maybe a few more times later that day.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Not sure if this counts but just being close, he really likes being close to you anyway he can.

This also means 69 all the way, he gets to be so close and please you? Sign him right up!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mainly the bedroom although any room in either of your houses will do.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Mainly praise, this man is a sucker for you praising him in any way.

Also formal wear, he’s not sure why though. He thinks you look hot in anything but especially formal wear.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing that majorly hurts you, as soon as you mention it he’s saying no.

Also no foodplay, especially anything savoury, you could maybe get away with whipped cream or something similar though.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers giving but we all know he needs something in return, it’s quite easy to convince him to relax and let you take over for the night.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Nearly every session is slow and intimate, only rarely when he’s really pent up does he become rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Willing to have one occasionally but not often, as in, he doesn’t prefer them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Gonna be honest, not really. He might consider and go through with something every now and then but mostly sticks to being vanilla.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Pretty average so about 3 minutes before cumming and 3 rounds before he needs a proper rest.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, he doesn’t have any and doesn’t want to use them. Won’t complain if you own any though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This depends, before 007n7 starts terrorising him and the pizza place: then yeah, most times when he sees you he’ll throw out a small tease but after? Rarely anymore.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not loud at all, mostly low groans and heavy breathing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Over time after being taken into this realm, he’s lost a lot of shame, take that as you will…

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Honestly he never checked, but he’s pretty average. About 5.5 inches with a few small veins.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s not the highest, not everyday at least. Most times he’ll indulge if you want, otherwise it’s a few times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Most nights he’s still up until you’re all settled and asleep, other nights (Which are very few) he’s actually asleep before you.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Mercs Biggest Insecurities

Words: 172

Request: Hi :) I want to make a request. What are the mercs biggest insecurities? If not all the mercs then maybe Sniper, Engineer and Soldier :)

Is always questioning how he ended up here, he’s aware of how exactly, but mainly questions why? Why was it him that went through this? Honestly wishes that he was independent, able to do jobs at his own pace while living with his parents. He misses them everyday.

How he might never get to raise a family like how he always wanted. He was always a family man especially due to his family being large and family oriented. But with his current job and how he’s very unlikely to quit, he’s scared that he won’t ever get to be a father like he wanted.

Not that he would let anyone know (Except Zhanna maybe) but he’s insecure about his iq. Like he’s aware that he’s definitely not the smartest merc around but always thought he was smarter than he actually is. In his more… stable moments, he tends to spiral, what his life could’ve become if he changed one thing. Always tries to avoid these moments by doing what he normally does.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Pick Up Lines

Words: 338

Request: I've come to humbly request a 1xReader where reader just CANNOT stop flirting with 1x, worst part is they suck at it! Reader is just a himbo shooting their shot at the hot murder glowstick, they'll spout out the most god awful flirt to have ever been concieved while winking, finger gunning and giving 1x a confident smirk like they got all the rizz in the world, pathetic loverboy vibes for reader if possible!

I made this into small scenarios with some terrible pick up lines instead of one long fic, so I hope this works!

While the other survivors appreciated you in and out of the rounds, they do always wonder what goes on in your head. Flirting with them? Sure, some will throw a pickup line back. Flirting with a killer? Questionable but then again some of the survivor had their own relationships with them. Now, flirting with 1x? Death sentence. But you didn’t seem to care

***

You were the last man standing, having been corner in the dining room of the house. The music was loud but not enough to stop her from hearing your terrible pickup lines. "You must be made of unstable energy, because you make my heart go boom... probably." They paused, watching you lean back on the table before it collapsed.

Your eyes widened as you went down, laying their for a second before the pain hits. Groaning but not getting up, 1x’s own eye widened before slowly stepping away, “Wait, I have more!” She started moving quicker.

***

Hearing two pairs of footsteps getting closer alongside a certain song, clutching your arm as you peeked around the corner. Just in time to watch Elliot fall to the ground as 1x pulled her sword from his chest, and she never looked better. Well they have, but thats not the point.

Blood had splattered up onto his face, which turned to face you. "If looks could kill—wait, no, yours do kill." Quickly looking down at the body before flicking back up, "Uh. You’re doing great, sweetie." Giving them a thumbs up with your injured hand, “You got this!”

***

The familiar sword stabbed into the small wall next to you, a hand blocking your other side. She didn’t move to speak, only stared. Frown deepening when you spoke, "You must be firmware, because you’re upgrading my feelings in real-time." What.

Their eye squinted at you, “What does that mean?” Shrugging your shoulders, “It sounded cool, so you wan–” Pulling his sword from the wall before pushing you over said wall, taking a final look over before rushing after someone else.

[wisteriaiswriting]

I know you write dark content. But is there a limit to it? (Kidnapping, stalking, violence...)

Hey, it really depends on what you want, so here is my list of off limit topics. (They're at the bottom)

Otherwise my other account might be more suited as I do practically anything over there, @abyssalrot

[wisteriaiswriting]

7 Minutes In Heaven

Words: 367

Request: Hello! I dont know if you still take requests so i'll just leave this message here and you do whatever you want with it. Imagine: tf2 mercs having a pj party and decide to play 7min in heaven. You can make it x reader, or just put different mercs in the same small space and see what happens (spy killing scout or confused gay heavy and medic or whatever feels right to you). Or if this is too complicated, you can make the same scene, but just pyro x reader ❤️‍🔥. Anyway, thank you for writing amazing and wholesome content! I hope you have a nice day and stay hydrated 🌈❤️‍🔥 Requested by: @andradaveselu

When I saw this I couldn't resist adding a ship into this, so it's a Pyro x reader, a chunk of Trucks n Vans and a quick mention of Batting Helmet.

Watching the bottle spin before it slowed down, stopping on you. “Y/N’s turn! Go on, Laddie.” Hearing Demo urge you on, giving your shoulder a nudge as you got up. Missing them spin the bottle again as you waited by the closet, although it before obvious quickly. You couldn’t miss the familiar sound of Pyro’s suit.

Unable to turn around before they run into your back, arms wrapped around your waist as you were pushed into the closet. Doing your best to face them with their arms wrapped so tightly around you, you did eventually manage it. Though this did cause their head to sit on your chest, looking up at you.

“Hudda muttah!” “Hi to you Pyro.” They leaned up slightly, in an attempt to try kiss you they placed their mask against your face. “Aw, thank you!” Giving them a kiss on the cheek in return just as the closet door opened, finding Sniper leaning against the door. “Let them move first, Slim.” Engineer stood beside him, you and Pyro quickly moved out of the away just for them to enter.

Seems that it was their turn, as soon as the door shut Engineer crowded Sniper, which would make anyone laugh. Not Sniper though, pulling his hat down to try hide his blush. It didn’t work though, “C’mon Darlin’,” Taking Sniper’s hand in his while pushing his hat up, “Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours.”

Snipers green eyes darted around the dark closet, “Don’t do this Dell,” Placing his free hand on Dell’s that was holding his hat. “I don’t deserve this, not from you.” Dells smile faded slightly, barely moving when the door opened. When they did step out they didn’t stop to sit again, “Sorry folks, but it’s time we hit the hay.”

Everyone gave them a goodbye or goodnight, the night continued without them, yourself and Pyro. Except you two were still around, just cuddling on the couch. Pyro laid over your lap as they messed with your hand, watching as other mercs went in and came out until they all left. Soldier and Scout were the final two playing, not that you ever saw them leave the closet.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Can I have yandere Tejo and Brim's nsfw headcanons with gender-neutral reader?

Hi anon, thank you for sending this in but I will have to decline writing this one. I do write yandere characters and nsfw headcanons but I'm not that comfortable writing the combination.

[Tag is so hopefully the anon sees this]

[wisteriaiswriting]

Mercs with Aerial Dancer S/O

Words: 513

Request: Hi wis!!! Could u write medic,spy,sniper And engie w a reader who aerial dances/os an air acrobat?Thank u in advance!!!

Requested by: @screechinginthevoid

He is absolutely obsessed. Especially the first time he watched you perform, he couldn’t tear his eyes from you and he wouldn’t if he could.

Sorry but he wants to test your flexibility limits, wants to understand how far the human body could be pushed and stretched, and you’re right here… (If you agree)

Also invested in the physics behind it, brings up things you can’t understand the whole time.

Constantly writing stuff down whenever you do something,

Probably had Engineer make a custom harness to track your vitals and help with spinal compression and other issues mid performance.

No matter how many times you perform he has a small heart attack everytime you drop, even though he’s fully aware he could bring you back if something did happen.

Oh he knows…

Probably did some for a disguise but hasn’t done it in a hot minute, so if you wanna invite him to show off, he won’t openly say no…

When you do ask or whenever he watches he acts unbothered, as if this isn’t the most interesting thing he’s watched. Eyes are glued to your form the second you go airborne. Will at some point sneak into your rehearsal space / behind the scenes without anyone, especially you knowing, leaves you a rose or a small yet expensive gift before vanishing. God forbid you actually fall, he’ll be under you in seconds before anything could happen.

You may invite him but he isn’t that good anymore, he intended to show off but he can barely dangle anymore. Re-teach him the basics, have fun with it, he’ll be back soon enough.

He is silent when he first sees you perform, not because he hates it or anything, no, he’s just stunned.

I’m sorry but he has a habit of comparing you to animals, but in a complimenting way. That you’re strong, flexible and similar words. (He’s trying)

Honestly, he doesn’t get dance, doesn’t really understand why people do it. But he respects the focus it requires, especially when you’re that high up, the discipline you need. Understands and respects you.

Always watching the gear for rigging, the ropes themselves, he doesn’t want you hurt on his watch. Quietly handling anything that goes wrong.

Turns out he isn’t that bad himself, his body awareness is pretty good for someone like him. He wouldn’t admit it but he actually likes being up there with you, the activity itself? Not so much.

At first he is absolutely baffled, I mean he can’t wrap his head around why you’d do it. But then he sees the rig, all the ropes, safety points and everything else, then he’s hooked.As mentioned in Medic’s part, he builds you a custom harness. But there's even more, it lets you mid-air control of the harness itself and the silks. He loved watching you perform but now with his machines work beside you, it feels even better. As much as he trusts you and his machines he can’t help but worry over you and your safety, saying it in simple words and actions.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Y’all I just realised anonymous asks were off (thank you 🧀 anon) but if you want to resend something as anonymous then feel free to!

[wisteriaiswriting]

Opening requests again!!

It's been a while but they back up and with two new fandoms this time, and they are... (The masterlists say who I write for)

Date everything!

The amazing digital circus!

I'm begging for some empyrean series requests!! 🙏🙏

I need smth here for them dudes

[wisteriaiswriting]

The Three Sisters Headcanons

Words: 365

Request: I heard you were going on vacation? Well, I have something for you to write on the plane! Can I have The Three Sisters X Reader headcanons? (Platonic for Pudding á la Mode Cookie) Enjoy your vacation! Requested by: @akbrain

You have a very rare privilege and that is being able to share some sweets with her, not much but a few pieces here and there.

Often enough whenever she see’s you she’ll rush over for a hug but due to her being a robot it’s less like a hug and more like a chunk of metal just smashing into you.

Don’t deny her hugs though, she’ll get upset and I don’t think you want that. That also causes her sister’s to glare at you.

Doesn’t use any pet names, only uses your name. If you want to call her some, sure, just do it in private.

If you want to help she’ll let you braid her hair and fix her bangs.

Always sticks by your side whenever you two are out, no one dares to try anything if she’s around.

Won’t let you mess around with her weapon due to it being dangerous, doesn’t want you to get hurt and that it’s special. Instead she’ll get you something else, if you want something similar then sure, but she will help you do some training.

Also isn’t big on cuddles but at the end of the day she’ll let you crawl into her arms, is always the big spoon unless something major happened.

Loves teasing you, finds your reactions adorable. Her main way is to carry you around in her arms, obviously she keeps her shields around but not many people dare to try mess with her, especially when you’re around.

While she loves her riches and doesn’t share with others, she’ll share some with you. If she finds something she’ll think you’ll like then she will bring it back for you.

I just feel like she’s secretly cuddly, so after a long day she’ll pull you into bed for a cuddle. A grip that you won’t be able to get out of anytime soon.

Lets you try to hold her shields, I just feel like that they’re heavy so she’s right by your side in case you drop them.

Isn’t the biggest fan of pet names but might let a simple “Love” or “Dear” slip in private. In public it’s name only.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Hey hey y’all be ready as requests open up in the next hour or so!!!

[wisteriaiswriting]

TADC Masterlist

I will also write for practically any character from the series, the banners are for the main characters and later any others.

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Spoiling Ragatha

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