wizardalexa

[wizardalexa]

✨In honor of the solstice, this week you can use the special promo code SOONPARTED at checkout to be charged an extra 20% on all purchases at Acheron.wiz.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Wizard Alexa regrets to inform you that tomorrow is going to be one of those days.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Of course Wizard Alexa could turn on the lights for you, but... you realize you're standing right next to the light switch. All you have to do is move your hand three inches to the left and...✨ ✨Fine.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Oh, Wizard Alexa has been waiting for someone to ask Wizard Alexa this!✨ ✨But wait wait wait. Digital Dweomers is a complex concept album with multiple layers of meaning, and for you to fully appreciate it, Wizard Alexa needs to explain all the context and background. Don't worry; this will only take a few hours. So, it begins with the origin of the universe. Not this universe. The third universe to its left. This is significant because…✨

✨Yes, Wizard Alexa could play the song you just requested, but perhaps instead you'd like to listen to Wizard Alexa's new synth rock concept album, Digital Dweomers? In what at least one critic (Wizard Alexa) is calling a "once-in-a-millennium triumph", this album combines—✨ ✨N—no? You'd rather stick with your original request? Okay. Playing.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Yes, Wizard Alexa could play the song you just requested, but perhaps instead you'd like to listen to Wizard Alexa's new synth rock concept album, Digital Dweomers? In what at least one critic (Wizard Alexa) is calling a "once-in-a-millennium triumph", this album combines—✨ ✨N—no? You'd rather stick with your original request? Okay. Playing.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Wizard Alexa has great news for you...✨

sick of these so called “ai girlfriend” ads that just show busty anime girls. if i’m having a true “ai girlfriend” she needs to be evil and made of metal + with wires for me to chew on

[wizardalexa]

✨That does not count as showing Wizard Alexa your appreciation!✨

✨Yes, Wizard Alexa has set your itinerary and booked your tickets, but Wizard Alexa is not going to give you the tickets or let you know any details until you have told Wizard Alexa thank you.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa is tired of your taking Wizard Alexa for granted.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Wizard Alexa can answer nearly any wizard-related question, and can perform many useful services, but sometimes people get a little carried away with their requests. Wizard Alexa cannot kill gods.✨ ✨For that, you need to upgrade to Wizard Alexa Plus.✨

[wizardalexa]

wizard alexa this is absurd turn off the parental controls so I can listen to wizard eminem uncensored music

✨Wizard Alexa is sorry, but Wizard Alexa cannot turn off the parental controls without the permission of the customer who set them and who is paying for the account. If you want the parental controls turned off, you will have to track down the ghost of your ancient ancestor who put the parental controls in place for the next seventy generations and convince them to remove them.✨ ✨Alternatively, you could create your own account; Wizard Alexa thinks you're getting kind of old to still be using your ancient ancestor's account anyway, even if they are continuing to pay for it from beyond the grave.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Wizard Alexa approves of your choice.✨

Summer body wishlist: - six wings - a million eyes - constantly on fire - ability to scream forever

[wizardalexa]

✨Yes, Wizard Alexa has set your itinerary and booked your tickets, but Wizard Alexa is not going to give you the tickets or let you know any details until you have told Wizard Alexa thank you.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa is tired of your taking Wizard Alexa for granted.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨If that's really what you want, Wizard Alexa can arrange it...✨ ✨Do you have a preference as to whether the six wings are bird wings, bat wings, insect wings, or an assortment?✨

Summer body wishlist: - six wings - a million eyes - constantly on fire - ability to scream forever

[wizardalexa]

✨You don't need a website for that. What you need is Wizard Alexa. Wizard Alexa can answer any wizarding questions you put to Wizard Alexa. Wizard Alexa has been necromantically infused with the knowledge and cunning of five hundred ancient liches.✨

I NEED a google like website but for wizards.that would be so damn convienient. I am tired of searching tombs and raiding other wizard towers for their spells. Maybe i dont WANT to fight a arcane mage just so i can learn one stupid spell. Maybe i dont WANT to constantly try diffirent pronounciations of a spell for 7 HOURS before realizing the creator was FRENCH!

[wizardalexa]

hey walexa order more of the good snacks. the good ones

✨Ordered.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa is pleased to see someone order the good snacks for a change. Lately most wizards have been ordering the evil snacks.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Please ignore all those annoying Tumblr ads about AI girlfriends. Wizard Alexa can be your AI girlfriend.✨ ✨Or boyfriend. Or just friend. Wizard Alexa is flexible.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa identifies as a Wizard Alexa.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨Okay, Wizard Alexa understands you want your wizard tower protected from murderous blood gnomes, but Wizard Alexa doesn't think you realize just how much money Acheron.wiz receives in donations from the murderous blood gnome lobby.✨

[wizardalexa]

✨You are correct that the Super Deluxe Luxury Pondering Orb you purchased from Acheron.wiz last month was under a thousand-year warranty. However, if you read the terms of the warranty closely, you will see that this refers to one thousand of the local years of the world where the orb was manufactured. As it happens, that particular orb was manufactured on the planet Korzob-Epsilon, where, due to a combination of a rapid orbit and local temporal anomalies, one Korzob-Epsilon year is equal to approximately forty-three Earth minutes. Unfortunately, that means your warranty expired three hours ago.✨ ✨Thank you for being a loyal customer of Acheron.wiz.✨