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I love the fics where the bats don’t know that dick was renegade during his teen titans era and randomly catch him doing weird shit

Jason and dick mid heated fight they’re both pinned and dick loses both his escrima sticks Jason’s injured and all of a sudden he gets really focused grabs Jason’s guns and starts firing with deadly accuracy shooting to incapacitate rather than kill or maim

Jason: what the f u c k

dick: what?

Jason: since when are you a fucking sharp shooter???

dick: …

dick: uh it’s a long story

Jason: No fucking way don’t long story me bitch tell me when the hell you learned to aim like that

dick: incoherent mumbles

Jason: what?

dick: deathstroke the terminator

Jason: are you fucking serious?????

dick: what! You’re not the only one who’s allowed to have a rebellious teenage phase

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Like to charge reblog to cast

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If I ever wrote a superhero story I’d want there to be a recurring shitty C-list supervillain in the background whose power was changing something’s colour and all her villainous plots would be colour-themed things like “If the city council doesn’t give me a million dollars, I will turn the city of GREEN Bay into the city of RED Bay!” and she’d turn the Golden Gate Bridge magenta or whatever.

So it’s all low-stakes villainy, but everyone absolutely hates fighting her because her very shitty superpower works really really well, and there are dozens of background characters who’ve fought her that are just permanently green now

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god gives her hardest battles to her cuntiest soldiers

(ID in alt text)

by the time canon rolls around mira's lovergirl goggles protect her from the worst of it. but zoey wearing crocs w socks still forces her to cycle thru every deep breathing exercise known to man

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The Vulture

Danny was surprised to see a letter from Gotham when he went out to pick up his mail. It was addressed to his dad, Jack Fenton. Which was unfortunate since his dad had passed away a few years back during a ghost attack. Danny hadn’t been fast enough and falling debris crushed him. Mom passed shortly after that of heartbreak. Jazz went off to college and he stayed behind to close up the rift and finally end the ghost attacks.

He was retired now from being Phantom and was making ends meet working for the city as part of a construction crew. He didn’t inherit the house but Jazz was letting him live in it while she was away. It was paid off so the only thing he had to pay for was utilities. Which was a little hard sometimes with the whole- portal in the basement deal. But he made it work. He was working on a few side projects that he hoped one day could be patented but it was neither here nor there, just something he did on the side.

Dani had finished up her adventures for the time being and was living with him again. She said that she had seen everything she wanted and now she just wanted to be with her father. And Danny understood that. He had missed her while she was gone and being a kid on your own, halfa or not, was hard to do in today’s world. Looking back, he thought it was dumb that he had let her go in the first place given just how much is out in the world that would love to hurt a teen girl. When she came back she mentioned that she wanted to go by Ellie since Dani is what Vlad called her and she wanted to separate from that part of her life. Danny was cool with that and he's been raising her since then. She was 16 now and he was proud of what she had accomplished in school once he got her caught up enough to enroll.

Danny opened the letter it read,

Dear Jack Fenton, I am sorry to inform you that your younger brother Thomas Wayne has passed away after being shot by a mugger on June 26. His funeral will be held at Wayne Manor on June 30 at 6pm. A reading of his last will and testament will take place privately for direct family the following day. Please bring your family, Thomas' young son Bruce has been asking to meet them. Your loyal servant, Alfred Pennyworth.

Danny didn't really know what to think of that. But it would have been rude not to go. He called off work for the next week and called Jazz to let her know what was going on. She said that she wasn't going to be able to make it as she was cramming her way through her summer courses but he let her know he was going to keep her updated on it. He called Ellie down for breakfast and instead of taking her to school he went ahead and told her to pack some clothes since they were taking an impromptu trip to Gotham. There was only so much time to prepare when he got the letter the day before the funeral.

When they got there, Danny knew that he and Ellie definitely looked out of place. There seemed to be at least a hundred people all crowded into the parlor of the massive manor on the even more massive estate. While everyone else was dressed to the nines and seemed to come from wealthy families, he and Ellie were wearing the nicest clothes they owned which were a button up and simple black and white dress from the mall. The only familiar faces at the party were Sam and Tucker who had apparently come with Sam's parents in order to pay their respects.

After the viewing of the bodies, yes plural, no one told Danny Thomas had a wife that also died on the same day, the only people in the room that even pretended to care about the tragedy stopped doing so and the room became more of a cocktail party than anything else. Full of rich socialites that had nothing better to do than to spread gossip to one another about one another, even Sam was doing her part to try and play it up for the crowd as she was going to be inheriting the family company upon her parents passing someday. Danny wanted to be mad at her for it but he could only respect the hell out of his ex girlfriend's hustle.

It wasn't hard to find Bruce. He was the only one still sitting in the now abandoned chairs that had been set out for guests to sit in during the viewing process. The young boy looked to be 7 or 8 and was holding on tightly to an older man who seemed to be a member of the staff. Danny figured now was as good a time as any to introduce himself to his young cousin he never knew about. He gestured for Ellie to walk with him and the two of them cautiously approached the crying child.

"Hello," Danny directed his words towards the older man, hoping to get some confirmation before claiming to be related to this kid he'd never seen before, "My name is Danny Fenton? This is my daughter Ellie. We got a note that my dad was-"

"You must be Jack's boy. I am Alfred Pennyworth, butler of the Wayne Estate," The older man bowed his head slightly, his hand still resting on the shoulder of the young boy, "I am glad to hear that Jack got my letter of invitation."

"Actually, my dad died a few years ago. I would have let you guys know of course! That is if I had known about any of this," Danny said, gesturing vaguely to the manor around him. It was a lot to take in that his dad had an entire family he never told anyone about.

"I'm very sorry to hear that. It does sadden me that I did not get to see Young Master Jack again before his passing. Are you his only child?" Alfred asked.

Danny shook his head with a chuckle, "Oh no, I've got an older sister, Jasmine. She wasn't able to make it today but she told me to send her condolences. Mom died after Dad did so it's just me and Ellie here today." He was trying his best to seem like an adult. He was an adult, he was 20 years old but it was moments like these where he felt like he needed an adultier adult.

Alfred nodded, looking back down at Bruce who had cried himself to sleep in his arm, "I am terribly sorry but the young master has had a terrible day. I am going to put him to bed and we can talk more later on in the night. Perhaps you can properly introduce yourself when he wakes."

And Danny did just that. After a few hours, he met the boy. And Bruce was, while devastated, very obviously related to his father. He was peculiar in that certain way that Danny had only ever seen in his own family and he just knew that the weirdness was genetic but now looking at this kid, it was even more proof. The boy talked to Danny and Ellie in depth about how much water pressure it would take to burst an eardrum and he offered his own facts about common dissection tools in return. Ellie actually was able to make Bruce laugh talking about a very specific type of dung beetle she had come across in her travels.

The week they planned on staying on Gotham somehow turned into weeks and then it somehow became months and then it became enrolling Ellie in a Gotham private school and moving into the manor and then it became signing legal documents adopting Bruce and helping Alfred coparent a grieving kiddo that just needed some love. Danny wasn't really sure how it happened exactly. But suddenly he was building a new life in Gotham and building an empire and actually patenting his inventions through WE and they were helping people.

Danny felt like he was doing good. And when things got a little rough crime wise, he let his Phantom side come out to play every once in a while. He moved his portal into the basement of the manor and locked it up so Bruce couldn't go down there and get hurt so Danny could still get clean ecto when he and Ellie needed it. Eventually he told Alfred more about what had happened in Amity Park and what let to Ellie's birth. The butler was super loyal to the family and seemed dead serious in keeping the secret to his grave. Danny even got close to Bruce, the child seeing him as someone he could turn to for reassurance and help. Danny didn't want to ever replace Thomas but he did want to be a trusted adult for Bruce.

After a year of the new routine, Danny felt pretty good bout his new life. It turned out, Thomas and Martha didn't really have much of a will other than that all of their assets went to Bruce when he turned 18 and before that it all went to a trusted relative of Alfred's choosing. Luckily the old butler decided Danny was a trustworthy enough guy to let him at least run things even if Alfred technically held the ownership. So he spent his mornings at WE after eating breakfast with the kids and then spent the evenings with Bruce while waiting for Ellie to get home from her various after school activities. Then after Bruce went to bed, he and Ellie would every once in a while go ghost and explore the city a bit. Every once in a while they would take care of a ghost but most of them were benign hauntings and there weren't many places in Gotham that didn't fall into a ghost's haunt. Luckily, most of the city's ecto being population seemed to be in agreement that Phantom and Spright (Ellie's new preferred ghost name) had permission to travel freely through most haunts as long as they didn't disturb any of the dead there.

On nights where they went out, Danny often didn't get much sleep and so he had to make up for it with putting clean ecto in his food as an alternative way to gain energy naturally. Which was fine most of the time but one thing Danny and Ellie learned really quickly was that Bruce was super into eating their food when they weren't looking and considering the fact that they hadn't really told him they were half ghost yet, he didn't really understand why he couldn't just do that sometimes. They didn't want him dosing on ecto and becoming liminal at such a young age.

Danny often had to stand at the kitchen counter and hug his bowl on the mornings that Alfred prepared ecto into his oatmeal just so Bruce wouldn't eat it. He couldn't leave it unattended even for a second sometimes.

Bruce would walk up to him, wide eyed and already asking for a bite of his food and Danny would have to give him the Dad Glare TM and say, "Back away from my food vulture." To which Bruce would put on a dramatic sigh (he was a very good actor for a child) and walk to the table where Alfred had his own food prepared.

The childhood nickname Vulture stuck and Danny and Ellie often found themselves using it as a term of endearment for Bruce as he grew up. Eventually, Danny had to finally admit that his kiddos were grown up. Ellie was travelling the world again in a much more legal fashion and Bruce had just turned 18 and had inherited his vast fortune and estate. So, Danny bought himself a nice house on the hill nearby, moved his portal, and planned to just keep inventing until he got old enough to want to retire.

That was until he heard about a new vigilante that went by "Vulture" that was apparently cleaning up the streets. So it was with a heavy sigh that Danny went ghost mode and stalked his son from afar to make sure he didn't get hurt while playing superhero.

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Funniest part about Robin Jason canonically going to heaven is that it implies either 1) Jason didn’t kill Felipe and Bruce completely blew up their relationship for no reason or 2) you’re allowed in heaven after killing someone as long as that someone really deserved it, which would then imply that heaven itself is on Jason’s side in the Jason vs Bruce conflict.

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Thinking about Damian, who has chronic pain from his spine being removed and replaced with a metal one using Jon as a living heat pad.

He doesn't even ask. He just feels achey and climbs over to his partner and moves him so he and lie down or sit with Jons chest to his back.

Jon is extremely flustered the first time it happens. His best friend basically curls up on him like a cat and, after a few minutes, melts.

Once he understands what is happening, he is kind of honoured, Damian trusts him so much and then Jon is ecstatic that he can ease some of Damians' pain.

Jon starts noticing the signs and little tells when Damian is having a pain day and begins subtly running his hands up his back when they are in public and lifting Damians entire body into his arms whenever they are home.

Jon even eventually learns to use his ice breath for cold therapy when Damian tells him that sometimes that helps his migraines.

Everyone who witnesses Damian using a kryptonitian as a heat pack are very confused but too scared to bother him about it as Jon glares at them for even thinking about disturbing Damian when he has just finally relaxed.

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Personality hire

Working Cats

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Jazz is the 'Oh, she's so independant all the time that she practically raised herself!' kind of former neglected child.

Danny is the 'I'm terrified to take up space as myself, so I've made up a whole other person in my head who's allowed to take up space for me' kind of former neglected child.

Wes is the 'I will just keep being weirder and more of a problem until you physically cannot ignore me anymore' kind of former neglected child.

Jason is the 'I will always loudly take up space, because I am unwilling to ever let myself be forgotten again' kind of former neglected child.

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When Nightwing tells Justice League members that Batman makes him laugh, obviously, everyone knows that he's joking, because that's Batman. How the hell does That make anybody laugh?

But then really weird things start to happen. Like suddenly, Batman starts making little quips that toe the line between sarcasm and puns. He begins to humor the stupid ideas that other heroes come up with purely for comedic purposes. He even admits things like "Jesus, I'm getting so old, if I hurt my back much more, spin class is going to be an issue."

And the thing is, Batman only does these things when Nightwing is around, and it literally always earns a laugh from the younger hero. Sometimes they high-five after Nightwing recovers from a fit of giggles. At this point, nobody knows that they're father and son, so this type of behavior is just really freaking people out.

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Flash: Ok, hold up. What?!

Nightwing: Red hood was a Robin too. What is so confusing about that?

Wonder Woman: It's just.... A lot of things make so much more sense now.

Nightwing: Like what?

Flash: Well, we did wonder who the first Robin was. But it being Red hood makes so much sense. The anger issues should have given it away really.

Nightwing: Huh?

Wonder Woman: It is quite obvious once you see it. It also explains why Batman gave you the role of Robin. I mean, i can only imagine how painful it must have been to watch your partner turn to a life of crime. So he replaced him with you. And I must say, it was a good choice. You were one of my favourite Robins so far.

Nightwing: Wait, wait, wait! You guys think I was the second Robin?

Flash: Well duh. You've always been this ball of sunshine. Just like the second Robin. And now with the hood being the angry first robin and Red robin being the genius third, we now know what happend to all of you.

Nightwing: I... Oh god, J's gonna fucking lose it if he figures out you guys think he's the oldest.

Wonder Woman: Pardon?

Nightwing: Doesn't matter. What does matter though is that Redhood isn't the first robin. I was!

Flash:

Wonder Woman:

Nightwing:

Flash: Now hold on now! That can't be right!

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I feel like in reverse retransmigration AUs where Shen Yuan gets sent back to the modern world, he should get to be a bit weird. A bit bizarre. A bit baffling.

This man spent like the entirety of his twenties and early thirties as a graceful and powerful peak lord in a fantasy novel. That does some weird shit to you I'm sure.

Imagine he gets shot back into his old life, and after freaking out then compartmentalizing everything, he starts incorporating things from his life as Shen Qingqiu into his life now.

I think the funniest way to conceptualize this is through the POV of, like, his sister.

- Shen-mei just got back from college to visit her brother, who got out of a hospital stay a week ago. Last time she saw him, he mostly grumbled about a shitty web novel and binged some anime with her and ate takeout.

- when she gets there, the house is, like, unsettlingly clean.

-When her brother appears, he has hair going to the middle of his fucking back. When asked about it, he just shrugs and says he got extensions. Extensions that look extremely fucking expensive

- It's summer. It's the middle of fucking summer and this man is wearing a collared shirt with a large-sleeved sweater over it, and loose pants. She has not seen him in anything more formal than jeans since her graduation

- he offers tea. She's only ever seen him microwave tea, but before she can decline he whips out a whole traditional tea ceremony tea set. The tea is really fucking good, and he has matching snacks???

- there's new paintings on the wall, when she asks where he got them, he sheepishly admits he painted them. They're incredibly beautiful traditional paintings. She wouldn't believe him if it weren't for... Everything else.

- A curly haired man comes in and introduces himself as A-yuans boyfriend

- A-YUAN HAS A BOYFRIEND??? WHOS A 10???

- AND NAMED LUO BINGHE???

Honestly if I was SYs family I would have just as big a conspiracy board about him being replaced as the peak lords have for SJ. It would be so fucking funny

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Dp x Dc Prompt- Mama Robin in mourning

Dick Grayson has recently adopted two orphan twins. Children found a few miles outside of Bludhaven. They seem to be very guarded but that is to be expected. From the report Dick got from his supervisor, the twins were found curled and crying over their dead mother's body. It wasn't what he was planning but they looked so much like Jason (it doesn't matter if jaybin was alive). Being 7 and afraid Dick did the very reasonable thing and took them in.

Dante and Danny were now living with a way too happy man. His personality was way too close to their sister Jazz. Come to find out later people actually like taking advantage of his good and kind nature. So the twins did a very reasonable thing and took care of him. Though they did have the tendency to be a lot more Eldritch when their good nature bird wasn't looking.

Bruce is just impressed that Dick somehow managed to find two kids that act just like him when he was younger. Not the joyful Dick that people think he was but the creepy and maniac kid that he was on the streets of Gotham late at night.

[masterpost]

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6 for creativity, -10 for flavour

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on survival

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