wooahaeruby

[wooahaeruby]

choi seungcheol what the fuck

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 47: Tactical Planning

TW

Uhhh, no big TWs, Mouse panic attack mode is all I got.

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“99 line and I will be fine, Shua.” You placed a chaste kiss to Joshua’s lips, which surprised him, the first since Christmas. His eyes were wide but he continued on. “Plus, Chan is driving, which…we should be leaving soon.” 

You moved to put your jacket on, only to be stopped by Joshua, placings his hands on your shoulders, brows furrowed together. 

“What?” 

“You kissed me.” 

You raised a brow. “Uh…Yeah? Can I not kiss my boyfriend?” 

“No-” He deflated, rolling his eyes. “It’s the first time you kissed me since everything happened.” 

“Okay?” 

“And if you are going to kiss me, do it right.” 

Joshua, in the middle of the living room, held your face in his hands and took your breath away with a single kiss. It was gentle and full of raw affection. He let his hands cradle your head, not letting you pull back right away, keeping you close to deepen it without hesitation. 

A cough broke the two of you apart, Chan covering his eyes with a hand when you glanced over. “If you guys are going to fuck, can it not be in the living room?” 

Joshua opened his mouth to speak but you covered his mouth with a hand. “Do not- I’m going out.” 

Your boyfriend hummed, stepping away, letting his hands drop from your face. He licked his lips, holding himself back from laughing. 

“You might need a little more lipgloss.” Joshua motioned to your mouth, learning forward to whisper in your ear. “The sweet one. Cherry, right?” 

“Enough-” You pushed his head away, his light, playful laughter filling the air. “Come on, Chan, before I lose my fucking mind.” 

You gave Joshua one last quick kiss on his cheek, quickly escaping his grasp to get to the garage. Chan agreed to drive, speeding away with haste to get there early to evade the late rule of paying. You weren’t surprised to see Yeonjun and Wooyoung shivering outside the latter’s car, watching them shuffle towards the restaurant's entrance. Chan parked almost directly beside them, both of you hustling to join them inside to wait. 

“My baby!” Wooyoung didn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms, peppering wet kisses to your cheeks. “I’ve missed you!” 

“Here we go…” Chan scoffed, chuckling quietly. 

“Woo-” You cringed, laughing as Yeonjun joined in, hugging your other side. “Stop-” 

“Can’t believe you saw Jongho before me! That is the worst betrayal! I'm hurt!” 

“Hey! I didn’t make that choice. Jongho went with Seonghwa to see me first, your fault.” You defended yourself (and Jongho) as Wooyoung pouted. 

“Still,” Yeonjun stepped away to greet Chan properly, giving him a hug. “Good to see you both either way. You guys look well so I’m just happy about that.” 

Gahyeon was next to show, huffing about rushing to leave the city as she greeted the boys then bear hugged you, rocking side to side happily. She spoke animatedly about what she has been up to, something with the dress shop and new fancy fabric that came in, saying you had to model a dress she and Siyeon designed. There was a comment in there about something ‘high necked’ or ‘ halter top’ but she was talking way too fast to get the correct information. 

Wooyoung and Chan started playing bets on who would be late, commenting that they were glad they weren’t responsible for paying. Chan bet on Mingi after hearing he’d be driving alone, you heard three hundred thrown in there somewhere. Yeonjun joined, betting on Changbin with Gahyeon, only for Wooyoung to throw Yunho’s name into the mix. They tried to get you involved but you stood your ground, placing a playful no-money-bet on Yeosang. You did agree to be the distributor of any money to keep it fair since you didn’t trust a few of them not to cheat either of them. 

San, Yunho, and Yeosang stepped inside together only a few minutes later, making Wooyoung bitch that he lost, which confused the three until you explained that Woo bet on Yunho to be late. San beamed when he saw you, hugging you snuggly to his chest, telling you how relieved he was to see you were okay in person. Yunho ruffled your hair, an at ease gaze in his eyes as he grinned, asking how you were, how things were healing, and side hugged you as you answered. Yeosang’s eyes showed he was glad to see you, the semi-awkward embrace and small talk was enough to show his contentment. 

The host had approached to inform your group the table was ready since you did show up early. She escorted the lot of you there to start getting settled, seats being picked rather quickly. Yeonjun and Gahyeon were sure Changbin would be late, giddy as they sat facing the general direction of the entrance, hoping to see him coming. The infamous WooSan duo sat you between them, listening as you talked about the different cookies you prepared. Chan taunted them by saying they were delicious and you told them they can enjoy plenty tomorrow. 

“Fuck, am I last?” Changbin hurried over, breaking the conversation. 

Gahyeon and Yeonjun hollered out at the loss, Chan wearing the biggest, shit eating grin on his face. You make sure the two and Wooyoung paid Chan his fair bets, the three grumbling as the cash was handed to you to count. The grin on your friend’s face only grew when Mingi arrived five minutes later, apologizing that Hongjoong held him up with something stupid. 

Appetizers were ordered almost immediately, enough to feed a small army, or your small army of people that work out a lot. San, Yeosang, and Gahyeon had definitely gained some muscle since the last time you actually saw them. San’s shoulders were definitely wider somehow… 

“Mo, what have you been up to?” Wooyoung leaned into your side, fluttering his eyelashes obnoxiously. 

You pushed him away by the cheek, laughing softly. “Uh- Well, now it’s finally leaving the house, cooking and cleaning. Therapy is going great, I think. I’ve made progress but I’m chilling. Quit my job too, and acclimating to being human again.” 

“Perfect trauma recovery!” Yeonjun reached across the table for a high five that you returned. 

“Oh yeah, I’m happy not having panic attacks every day anymore.” You shrugged, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. “I’ve been through a lot before, nothing as bad as this of course, but it’s different having people that care around, you know?” 

Your friends gave nods, sending warm smiles your way that got you a little flustered, avoiding their gazes. 

“I know you guys have been messaging and I'm sorry I’m only getting back to everyone recently.”  

“Friends are meant to be there when you need them, but they are also meant to give you space when you need it.” Yunho placed an arm on the back of Chan’s chair, smiling ear to ear. “We might be from different groups, but there is an unspoken agreement that we’d take a bullet for one another.” 

“How do you think I became friends with Wooyoung?” Changbin wiggled his eyebrows, poking at the meat of his right shoulder. “Hurt like a bitch but healed perfectly thanks to Seonghwa and Felix.” 

“You guys need to stop getting sho-” 

The waitress interrupted your comment to start delivering the abundance of appetizers. While some were thanking the staff, taking plates to place on the table, others laughed as you sunk down into your seat. 

Conversation shifted as food was shared, falling into the ‘ normal people night ’ a few of them wanted. Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang were talking about video games with you and Yunho. There was a heavy debate between console gaming, which Yunho liked, and PC gaming, which you and the other three liked more. Changbin, Chan, and Gahyeon were speaking of their ‘gains’, all the work they’d been doing at the gym to get stronger. Yeonjun and Mingi were talking about jewelry last you heard, knowing how much the two loved their accessories. 

“Oh, girly, before I forget!” Gahyeon nearly slammed her utensils on the table. “Three boyfriends now? Hello?”

Chan stopped himself from laughing, seemingly proud of himself for exposing your ongoing lovelife. You let out a hefty groan, scrunching up your nose. Part of you hoped she’d forget. 

“I still only have two significant others-” 

“Still-” Changbin did some air quotes. 

“Mo, you were snuggling up to Cheol for two days because he was sulking over you telling us what happened. All of us know now that he likes you, he just fucked up then you guys made up and here we are today.” 

“Bagging three baddies,” Wooyoung whistled, “Impressive.” 

“Bro, I don’t even know how this happened, but I’ll take it I guess.” You gave a shrug of your shoulders. “Plus, boyfriend number three isn’t even my boyfriend at this time, I’m happy with what's currently happening, okay?”

“Four hundred on if Cheol will not stop staring at her tomorrow.” Yunho called out, snickering. 

“Don’t even bet, let’s get Mo to dress up nice and it will just happen.” Gahyeon pointed at you, narrowing her eyes. “I want to see what happens.” 

You cringed, shoulder tensing up to your ears. “I can’t promise anything, all of the clothes I have at the house don’t cover my…chest aside from my high neck sweaters and shirts. They are baggy and are just meh.” 

“Just come to DC’s house tomorrow. I’m sure between the lot of us, I can find you something.” 

San’s shoulders shook against yours in silent laughter. “Everyone is going to be dressed to the nines, this is what mafia business is.” 

“And I find that a little absurd since I’d rather be comfortable at a business meeting. Especially what is probably gonna be talked about tomorrow night.”

“You are doubting my ability to do both fashionable and comfortable.” Gahyeon sighed, dramatically slouching in her seat, a pout on her lips. “Being pretty and cozy are my stables.” 

“She is never going to give this up until you agree.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes. 

You shifted in your chair, learning your head back to give the ceiling a good, hard glare, but there was no fighting her, no way. She’d win either way. 

“Okay, fine, you can play dress up but my ass better not be hanging out!”

“Deal! I’m going to have so much fun!”

The agreement between you and Gahyeon was a girls day, going to the DC house in the city for lunch, dinner, then getting all dolled up for the meeting. 

That’s how you ended up borrowing Minghao’s SUV, piling cooking containers into the back seat to travel into the city. You texted the group chat with all the guys that you’d meet them at the warehouse (with the cookies) so no one had to worry that you were spending the day with Dreamcatcher, not that they wouldn’t worry… 

You were, however, surprised to find such a grand house just within the city’s western limits. There was a gate with a call box that you rang, speaking with someone over the speaker before the gates let you in. 

Parking out front, you swore you counted over fifteen windows on just the street facing side alone. Really, you could tell it was a stunning home by the outside alone as you stepped out of the car. Its exterior was a modern Mediterranean style house, definitely huge and expensive. Hell, even the driveway was expensive and fancy…

“Mouse!” The grand double doors opened and Minji stepped out, taking the few steps down to you. “Glad you could finally stop by.” 

“Hey, yeah, thanks for having me.” You continued to eye the house, moving closer to her. “Your home is amazing.” 

Minji’s eyes lit up, a radiant smile on her features. “I can show you around if you’d like. ‘Hyeon is – has been in the bathroom for nearly an hour taking one of her everything showers so she might be longer.” 

You sighed with a grin, shoulders shaking in quiet amusement. “And she said to come now too.” 

“Ah~ It’s okay,” Minji started to guide you up the stone stairs to the doorway. “Plus, I can show you my pride and joy. We all worked hard for it.” 

The cathedral ceilings in the entrance alone was enough to stop you in your tracks. The curved staircase to the right was majestic, intricate metal railings adding to the beauty. Minji casually commented that the floors throughout the house were porcelain and were heated. You thought the SVT house was a lot. This was much more. So much more. 

“There are seven bedrooms and eight bathrooms,” Minji walked you into the large expanse of the kitchen, the fridge door open. “Plus there are some offices and a full basement.”

“This is fucking insane.”

Whoever was rummaging through the fridge stopped at your voice, a hm? heard before the door was closed. Yubin turned to you both, container hand, dressed in way too baggy clothes that were hanging off of her. 

“Damn, you got wrapped into the tour.” 

Minji took your hand and pulled you into the kitchen, continuing to smile. “Oh hush you, I’m proud of the house we all bought.” 

“Hopefully ‘Hyeon leaves her bathroom soon to save you.” 

There was so much more counter space than at the SVT house. The counters were kept clean and there was a huge set of double doors that you learned led to a small room made for the pantry behind the fridge. This was a dream kitchen. Mingyu would demand they build a new kitchen if he saw this. As Yubin heated up her food, she mimicked Minji’s voice, continuing on the tour tangent noting the custom cabinetry and quartz countertops, something about built-in appliances that had you wanting to look up how much the house cost.

“All the rooms are upstairs and the basement is a – Lord, what is it at this point?” Yubin dropped the mimicking act. “There is a gym…and recently Siyeon converted part of it into a fashion studio since the office upstairs that she used is now overrun with bolts of fabric.” 

“If this is what living with women is like, I’ve been living with men too long.” That got the two to laugh, soon followed by the quick pitter-patter of feet on the floor. 

“I’m surprised she got out of the bathroom that quick.” 

“And here I was going to show you the back patio.” 

Gahyeon bursted into the kitchen, a gleeful squeal as she bounded over to you. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel, face clear of any make up. 

“Okay, so, all of us have nail appointments, then we go to lunch, after lunch you and I are getting our hair done, then dinner and getting ready.” 

You raised a brow, looking at Yubin and Minji, one leaning over the counter eating and the other simply watching the interaction. Gahyeon continued on that she got some outfits together the previous night, but she and Siyeon were ready to make something on the spot if you disliked all the options.

  “Why does everyone think it’s fine to spoil me?”

“Oh, I can answer this,” Yubin raised a hand, shoving a forkful of food into her mouth first. “Number one, new friend, automatically spoiled. Number two, you got, like, horribly hurt, people care about you, automatically spoiled. And Number three, uhhhh- Why not?” 

“And money isn’t a problem here!” Gahyeon bounced on her feet, holding your hand in both of hers. 

“Can we say it makes up for all the cookies you made, plus uh- friendship?” 

“Sounds a little unsure there, Yubin.” You chuckled, but she shrugged. 

“Eh, can’t blame her, it's a little difficult to make friends in this business.” Minji hummed, looking at her nails, “Plus, it’s nice to have a girls day.”

“Yeah… It does sound nice.” 

Gahyeon ran off to call the rest of her group down, shouting their names from the staircase. When that didn’t work well (shocker), she stomped up their stairs, complaining that they needed to get ready before she yelled she was getting dressed. 

Bora, Siyeon, Yoohyeon, and Handong showed up in the kitchen, ready to go, not long after with Gahyeon popping in, braiding her hair. You got shoved in a car with Minji, Siyeon, Bora, and Gahyeon. The latter three were fighting (?) with each other, snide remarks over a comment one of them made, but they each wore smiles or smirks. Gahyeon whispered that they were the closest and ‘always at the scene of the crime’ together. Their interactions reminded you of a pair of sisters from a foster home you were in; at each other's throats, but always having each other's back. 

Getting your nails done somehow ended up including an eyebrow wax and a pedicure, which you tipped the woman that worked on you well on top of the generous tip DC left for everyone. You hadn’t had a good day of pampering since way before Christmas and you loved every second of it. Even better when you noticed at least two of them were carrying some sort of weapon. You enjoyed the point of your almond shaped nails when you scratched your head. Lunch was at a small, family owned restaurant, the time filled with laughter and new formed, proper friendship. You were able to join in on jokes so freely, listening to clothes ideas, and just…being a girl with girl friends. 

Gahyeon stole you away from the rest for your hair appointment, early enough for anything to be possible. She was going for a bleach session and a soft pink dye job. You… were a little intimidated at all the options the stylist was offering, overwhelmed really. She was so patient as you went over ideas, settling on giving your color more definition, akin to a balayage to have some life to your hair. You agreed on a bit of a trim, letting her have fun with layering and face framing pieces that made you feel more put together and a little brand new, almost whole. 

Between processing times, Gahyeon was talking mad shit, making you laugh so hard your stomach hurt. She was going on about a past trip 99 line took together to a ski resort. First night at dinner, half the group got so drunk that they needed multiple buckets and they tipped the maids well and they needed the second day to sleep off the raging hangovers. Then, that same day, Wooyoung, Yeonjun, and Changbin caught a stomach bug, she blamed it on some bad food. You felt bad for them until she mimicked their whining and your sympathy was gone. When Yeonjun felt better, good enough to hit the slopes, he absolutely ate shit and Yeosang caught it all on video, which she sent to you.

Joshua had texted the Threeway group chat, asking how the day was going, a check in he did when he didn’t see you for long, and you sent a picture of your foiled up in the mirror with a finger peace sign emoji. Jeonghan joined in, asking what you were getting done then zooming in on your new nails with a devil emoji and a question mark. Joshua called him gross and all you told them was that the reveal was a surprise. 

With Gahyeon’s hair taking longer, you asked if yours could be styled and curled, making a comment of an event in the evening when asked why you both were getting dolled up. Your friend snickered beside you, muttering ‘Yep, basically a booty call’ . You threw a small towel at her.

By the time you both made it back, well pampered and relaxed, Minji was ordering food for the group, letting you both place in what you wanted. When the food arrived, the living room was alive with energy, talking about things you couldn’t really talk about with the guys, talking about things about the guys, and it was fun. You asked questions on their end of the mafia business out of curiosity. 

Yubin, Yoohyeon, and Handong focus on money laundering, ‘ private loans’ , and extortion. Minji and Bora enjoy the hitman aspect, going after those with power abuse, domestic violence, and other similar abuse. Siyeon and Gaheyon liked blackmail but floated through the different jobs while handling the dress/clothes and jewelry shops. Minji was also a fucking lawyer, running her own firm with interns and firm partners of all different specialties. Her focus was on divorce and criminal defense, taking specific cases that piqued her interest and some pro bono work when she had time. 

Between her job, the mafia, and the shops…The house made a lot of sense. 

Siheyon, having learned from Jeonghan, asked what the plan was now that you left your job and you shrugged. You explained that you would figure something out after the MX stuff was settled, adding that there were plenty of options with SVT. Minji jumped in and offered to help out if needed, saying she’d love to have you around more, especially if you didn’t want a hand in mafia jobs, which you appreciated but said it would be figured out when the time came. She even offered a job at her law firm, saying it wouldn’t be a problem, which you panicked and didn’t get any answer.

“Okay,” Gahyeon brought you into her room, letting you sit at her vanity as she shuffled into her closet. “I have a few options, those real nice bandages that won’t stick to your chest, and a vision.”

“Pop off, okay,” You fiddled with some of the make up on the vanity counter, watching her walk out with a few hangers worth of clothes. 

She laid everything out on her bed, motioning you over. Dresses, skirts, suits, there were a lot of good options. You did ask about size, but she gladly reminded you she had them from the dress shop and she could fix things if they didn’t fit. ‘ Easy’ as she put it. 

Skirts were scraped, unamused at the short length, but she snickered and tossed them aside. 

You hustled into the bathroom to change out the bandage on your chest, liking that it wasn’t bulky or too irritating, enough to comfortably cover everything without sticking horribly. With that done, you agreed to try on the dresses she set out, hiding away in her closet to gauge how you felt. One was a slim fit option with long, flowy sleeves and a high neck blouse type bodice, it was nice but the color didn’t compliment you right. The second was too tight on your chest, the neckline putting pressure uncomfortably. The last was just too short, riding up when you took a few steps. You tried them on for the hell of it, maybe a little disappointed they weren’t good fits. 

She got you into some different blouses, enough to cover your chest but you thought some made you look frumpy. The only options left were an assortment of body suits she had. You set your gaze on a black one, sleeveless with a high, jewel neckline. Gahyeon tossed you some thin pinstriped, navy dress pants, a matching blazer in hand if it worked out. 

“I think this is it.” You stepped out of the closet, pinching the body suit fabric to adjust it to fit properly. “Thoughts?” 

“If you were gay, I’d smash.” She handed you the blazer, laughing along with you as you slid on the jacket. 

You moved over towards the vanity to look in the mirror, taking yourself in. It had been a long while since you were all dressed up, the fresh nails, and new haircut adding to how much…better you felt about yourself. You continued to feel a little more normal. 

“Now I can get ready then do both our make up!” 

“You are having too much fun with this, ‘Hyeon.” 

She clapped her hands then poked your forehead. “I’m helping you to feel hot as fuck but also bag boyfriend number three and hang out with you!”

Staring out to the bottom floor of the warehouse, Seungcheol knew this day would come eventually. In reality, it was something he wanted to put off this day as long as possible, the day that plans started to finally take down Monsta X.

It was a long time coming, Mouse was right in saying they probably had plans to tip the scale long before she came along. Since she explained they knew about her from the beginning, how they saw her go into the warehouse near Ruby, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, even if it was inevitable. If everything worked as he hoped, they wouldn’t be a thorn in his side much longer, hopefully not a thorn in anyone's side at that. It was obvious now by any mishap in their business that Monsta X was involved, more than likely meddling in other groups' business. Seungcheol wouldn’t be surprised if MX was stewing in new torture ideas. 

“Yo,” Jeonghan interrupted his thoughts, leaning himself over the railing, joining in watching their workers move crates about, into the vault. “You alright? Ready for this?” 

Seungcheol twisted his head around, a loud pop and crack heard when he stretched at a certain angle, adding a roll of his shoulders to relieve some tension. “Alright? Yeah, I’ll live. Ready? I don’t think so. Tonight is going to be ideas, planning, the usual, we might be here for a while.” 

Jeonghan gave a shrug, tilting his head to the side as  he continued his observations, a happy hum floating to Cheol’s ears. “Nothing we haven’t done before. We are planning to take down people who we once considered friends, maybe even family. It will be hard but I think it’s a necessary evil we need to face.” 

“Still not looking forward to it.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “A lot of things can go wrong once we start this.” 

“Things could, but again, nothing we haven’t dealt with before. Let’s…try and be a bit positive about this. We’ll have plenty of hands in the pot to help.”  

“Yeah, well, here is to hoping.” 

To no one’s surprise, ATZ was the first bunch to arrive just prior to nine, striding in with heads high as the SVT crew gave respectful bows as they passed. Cheol stopped himself from laughing at the familiar smirk on the leader’s face as they shook hands, exchanging the first of many greetings for the night. Peering back through the window, the office had been changed with chairs added around to accommodate everyone that would be in attendance. He could see the SVT members littered around the room as ATZ made their way inside to get a seat. 

Hongjoong hung back from his group, leaning back against the railing, keeping a close eye on his members through the large window. 

“Is this a good time to tell you they have destroyed one of my boats?” His voice held steady, calm, but one glance at the man showed the anger in his furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. 

Seungcheol sighed, standing straight with an annoyed scowl on his face. “Why am I not surprised… When?” 

“About three days ago. I was going to give you a call sooner but a few of the men on board were injured so I prioritized them.” Sliding his hands into his pockets, Hongjoong dropped his head to look down at his feet. “On top of hurting my men, they spray painted a large X across the capsized boat. No mistaking that one.” 

“So it all begins,” Seungcheol was going to despise whatever came in the near future, but he’d warn everything that they might be next. 

“It has, and I don’t take an attack on my things with a particular lightness. If more of my people are next, that same displeasure jumps tenfold.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

Seungcheol scoffed, making note of the members of TXT arriving next, strutting in just before SKZ showed up. Hongjoong gave him a pat on the shoulder, slipping into the office to grab a seat, a stern call of Wooyoung’s name behind him. Cheol greeted both leaders and their groups, leading them upstairs as more pleasantries were shared and more seats were taken. 99 line had basically made a huddle of seats, not that anyone was surprised. 

“Dreamcatcher late?” Changbin sat beside Chan resting his arm over the back of the latter man’s chair. 

“That’s never new when they are all together. Someone's hair is wrong or their makeup isn’t right-” Wooyoung mouthed off, only for Yeosang to slap a hand over the other’s mouth to shut him up. 

“Watch yourself, Fennec .” Gahyeon’s voice rang through the room, a stifled laugh coming from someone else. “And while it does take forever to look this good, please remember we live on the opposite side of the city, thank you very much.” 

Dreamcatcher as a whole proceeded to step into the room with Minji approaching Seungcheol, heels clicking rhythmically against the floor. They shared a firm handshake, him asking how things were going while she gave him a wide, mischievous smile as she said things were okay . He frowned when she stepped away, glancing about her group in hopes to find Mouse since she was supposed to be with them, but she was nowhere to be seen. Though…He did see the glances Minji, Siyeon, Jeonghan, and Gaheyon sent his way in the little group they stood in together, speaking in hushed tones. Most of 99 line had smirks on their faces like they knew something he didn’t. 

“Boss-” One of his men stopped at the entrance to the room, clearing his throat to get some attention, flustered while holding a small stack of cookie filled containers. “She uh- She is giving more out downstairs, where should I-?” 

He took note of Sona behind him with her own stack of cookies, definitely trying to hide her grin when she met Cheol’s eyes.

Something was up. 

“Table’s fine…” He motioned over, narrowing his eyes as they walked over and the treats were deposited quickly. 

Moving to leave, Sona stopped at the door, turning back to say something, only to school her expression. She snorted a laugh and continued out without another word. 

With the door still open, heavy footfall up the stairs was heard with a labored huff that he had definitely heard previously. Mouse quickly stepped into the view of the window and Cheol physically paused, brain stopping for a moment. 

Whoa- he thought, a little shameful in the head to toe once over he gave her. 

Mouse swiftly closed the door, pushing some hair over her shoulder, the color more vibrant than it was the last he saw. In a way, it gave her more life, brightened her features. On top of that, he couldn’t stop staring at her lips, the color was deep, gorgeous, unable to remember the name of the color name with his brain short circuiting. It had been a while since she dressed up and she looked…confident, and pretty- Fuck wait, and hot-

Also- The pinstripe pants? Did they make her hips and ass look bigger-

No, we are going to stop that train of thought for now. He wiped the thought from his mind real fast. 

“Close your mouth,” Siyeon was suddenly very close, he didn’t hear her approach, placing her hands on his shoulder. “You’ll catch flies.” 

Seungcheol closed his mouth tightly. 

There was a whistle from someone, Seungcheol guessed it was Joshua based on who spoke next, hyping Mouse up. Someone asked for a spin and she did, a laugh full of joy leaving her. 

“You look great!” Wooyoung complimented and she smiled wide, brushing some hair from her face. 

“I feel great – Or, I feel human again.” Mouse hugged Gahyeon when she hurried over, grinning ear to ear. 

“That’s the point of good self care, feeling normal again.” 

“These cookies are better, no offense, sorry not sorry.” Mingi was devouring some of the treats, leaving crumbs on the conference table. 

“Now that your affinities for Mouse have been said, can we get down to the purpose of this meeting? No offense, Mouse, you look lovely.” Hongjoong spoke up, adjusting his jacket, sitting at the table close to Seungcheol’s deck. Cheol did see him snatch a cookie when he managed to tear his eyes from her. 

Mouse’s eyes met his for a moment and he swallowed thickly, snapping himself out of the trance she was putting him under with a shake of his head. 

Siyeon snickered behind him as Mouse stepped towards Jeonghan and Joshua, giving them both quick kisses and sitting between them. “Take a picture, dude, it lasts longer.” 

It was going to be a long night.

You saw it, you were pretty sure everyone saw it. The starstruck gaze in Seungcheol’s eyes when he looked your way, it was as clear as the night sky outside. But there were other priorities to focus on, teasing Cheol could come later based on the grins on a few people’s faces. 

“Uh-” Seungcheol cleared his throat, shaking Siyeon’s hand off of his shoulders. “Everyone take a seat, uh- We have a lot to go over.” 

Understatement, you only hummed, getting comfortable in your seat between your boyfriends, both a little stiff at your sides. 

Seungcheol moved towards his desk, waiting for everyone to settle before beginning. 

“I’m sure you all know why I've called this meeting, however if anyone is lost…I’m formally requesting aid in taking down Monsta X once and for all.” You could have heard a pin drop at the silence that filled the room. “If you wish to be uninvolved in this, I have no plans to force you, I’d never put you in that position, but we’d be grateful for the help in this matter.” 

Running your gaze around the room, no one made an attempt to leave. Hongjoong had a murderous glint in his eyes but with all of the 99 line within their group and Jongho’s connection to you, you could be surprised if they left or backed out. Soobin had a hesitance in his eyes, TXT probably had the most to lose as the newest and smallest main group within the underground, but Yeonjun met your gaze and gave a reassuring smile. Chris was leaning towards his second in command, Minho, who whispered in his ear, both sharing a nod. There wasn’t a hint of doubt in Minji’s eyes, chin held high as she watched Cheol speak. 

“We are in.” Minji spoke  up first, no discussion with Dreamcatcher was needed. “Whatever is necessary, we will help.” 

“Seconded,” Hongjoong called out next, clasping his hands tightly on the table.

“We…don’t have much, but with the known nuisance MX are, TXT will help where we can.” 

Chris peered over everything, Changbin had an expectant glint in his eyes, maybe annoyance at the hesitancy the leader showed. 

“We’re in.”

You didn’t realize how long you were holding your breath for until Chris agreed to help, dropping your head down to collect yourself. Joshua reached for your hand, giving it a firm squeeze, while a squeeze was placed on your thigh from Jeonghan. Part of you was terrified if anyone ended up saying no, that this was a SVT problem that didn’t involve them whatsoever. Anxiety was a bitch. 

“Thank you, all of you.” Seungcheol sighed out, seemingly in the same boat as you were. “I’ll do everything within SVT’s power to make up for this, you each have my word.” 

“Fair warning,” Jeonghan whispered, leaning close, lips close to your ear, breath ghosting over your skin. “He might ask you if you can recall any details about where you were held.” 

That…was predictable, the information could be useful in locating them, but you were greatly unsure if you remembered anything pertinent. Things moved far too quickly, you didn’t have a good recollection outside of what happened. 

Your stomach turned uncomfortably. Fuck, now you were thinking about everything that happened and your skin felt  like it was on fire. The grip on Joshua’s hand got tighter and you bit your tongue to suppress the nausea. One of them must have noticed because a hand moved to the back of your neck, messaging the tension away the best they could. You started to bounce your left, staring down at the table with a hazy fog cutting your peripheral vision as you tried to keep it together. Tessa was right- This wouldn’t be easy- 

And, instead of Kihyun’s sick smirk, you saw Joker as his hands were wrapped around your ne- 

“ Rheia?” 

Your head snapped up at the name, the older woman standing at the door, hands on her hips with Sona half hidden behind her. Rheia was dressed in a simple blouse-dress pants combo, salt and peppered hair pulled back and out of her face. 

“Next time any of you decide to throw a secret meeting, please make sure it is an actual fucking secret. The entire underground knows you're gathered here.” 

“Uh-” Seungcheol looked like a deer in headlights, and Jeonghan stood, striding over to her quickly, straightening his shoulders. 

“Apologies, Rheia. This was a last minute decision,” He took her hand gently in a handshake, bowing his head. “Please take a seat, join us, I’m sure you’d be interested in listening.” 

She tsked, giving him a narrowed, suspicious glare. “I can guess what is about, not much of a surprise, I’ll provide aid where it is needed.” 

“Ah-” Jeonghan peeked to Seungcheol who looked equally as lost. 

You sucked in a breath, “Her resources could probably help us a lot. We all know how illusive Monsta X is.” You wanted to eat soap at how gross the name felt in your mouth. 

“See, one of you makes sense, why isn’t she in charge?” 

Rheia didn’t even know she was helping you with an almost panic attack, which you were silently grateful for. 

She took a seat across from you, crossing her hands with a huff as Jeonghan returned to his seat beside you.

Seungcheol saw her wave her hand for him to continue and he scrambled to get going once more. He started by asking if someone had been hindered by Monsta X, informing everyone of the recent ATZ issues, details added by Hongjoong. TXT had nothing to add, nothing important messed with, just minor internal issues that were handled. SKZ brought up some missing deliveries that shouldn’t have been missing or ones found hundreds of miles away without a reason. Cheol shared a similar occurrence a while ago, a misplaced cargo shipment that was supposed to head out of the country, which was odd. DC has shipments of diamonds stolen and three separate break ins within a short period of time, each time the cameras were disabled. 

As more mishaps were shared, things were starting to sound too similar for anyone's comfort. There was no pattern to what type of sabotage happened which didn’t help until there were all laid out. Over five months, there were seventeen different issues, which had you rolling your eyes, but something didn’t make sense, or it didn’t to you. 

“What-” You tapped your nails against the table, a scowl on your face. Standing, you hurried over to Cheol’s desk, leaning over to swipe a pen and a stray piece of paper. “What days were they? Like, do you remember the number days?” 

Dates were rattled off to you in quick succession, your scowl only growing deeper. 

“They are never after the twenty-first of each month. The first month, you have the fifth, thirteen, fifteenth, nineteenth, and twenty-first.” Cheol peered over your work as you rewrote things neater on another sheet of paper. “Second was the first, third, seventh, eighth, twentieth, and twenty-first again.”  

There was a pattern you couldn’t discern yet, looking over the numbers. 

“Third was only the ninth and the fourteenth. Fourth month was nothing- okay wait, I’ll count myself for one technically, yeah-” You were probably going crazy and nothing was there. “And last month since we’re at the beginning of February…the first, sixteenth, eighteenth, and twentieth. It doesn’t seem right. I can’t pinpoint a pattern right now but it’s there, I’m telling you.”

No one opposed your thought, someone commented that it was weird and it should be looked into, which you appreciated. You swore it was staring at you in the face, you just couldn’t place your finger on what exactly it was. It was frustrating. You were going to over think the fuck out of this. 

When no one had any other suggestion regarding it, the papers passed around, you gave up for the time being, taking your seat once more, staring at the numbers. 

“You need to start coming up with a plan to find them.” Rheia chimed in between the lull in the conversation. “Does anyone have any ideas currently?” 

“Despite attempting to place tails on their men. I haven’t found anything on the main Monsta X group. They have been spotted here and there, but they simply disappear easily.” Wonwoo’s monotone voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. “They are incredibly difficult to track.” 

“ Rheia, you know everything, you hear everything, do you have any clues?” 

“All I’ve managed to gather is that they have no permanent place or base. They have never been in the same place twice. I've tried to place my people in there under some cover, but it is hard to get anyone in with their lack of trust. Their systems are hard to breach due to the constant changes.” 

You wanted that access to try and get in…you’d ask her later. 

“Mouse?” You lifted your head to the sound of Seungcheol calling upon you, seeing the semi-pained look in his eyes. “You don’t have to, but do you remember anything about where they held you?” 

Somehow, like a switch flipped, that musty, damp room fluttered into your vision, the mental of the chair biting into your skin along with the ropes. 

Focus, you took a deep break, trying to shake the fear from deep within. Find something, they can’t hurt you here.  

“It was cold.” You spoke but it felt distant. You pushed to keep a foot in the present. “I could hear dripping water, like a leaky pipe but I couldn’t see it. It was close though.” 

Someone touched you but that helped continue to ground you. 

“They had those really large construction lamps, they made it hard to see anything around me.” 

Come on, you later yourself fall further, keeping your present tethers close, embracing the surroundings with caution. 

“There was a door, can’t tell if it was metal or not, the room couldn’t be more than twenty by thirty, but it’s hard to remember-” You were starting to feel dizzy. “The hook mechanism on the ceiling, new or only there for a short period of time. There was some wear, but it could have been from the chains on my wrists when they hung me up. Concrete or stone, there wasn’t any windows, the had to run wires from out of the room for-”

Stop it, details only , you reoriented yourself, pushing a breath out, you really couldn’t see the office around you at all. 

“There-” 

Your mind went reeling, watching as you tried to mentally fast forward through the mental box and the drowning . Things were fuzzy, jumbled together, difficult to make out. Then the familiar searing hit you and your brain gave up. 

“Nothing else- Excuse me-” You were up and out of your chair before anyone could say a word, rushing down the stairs and getting outside. 

Heaving in a frigid breath, you bent over, hands on your knees, ready to throw up, but nothing left you aside from another heave for air. Letting out a grown, you steadied your rapidly beating heart, jaw clenching tight enough your teeth could probably shatter. You didn’t notice a big, burly guard and Sona watching on until you stood straight. The guard looked away, righting his shoulders, while Sona took some steps closer. 

“You aight?” 

“Yeah-” It sounded laboured, giving her a weak thumbs up. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“Yeah, you look paler than a ghost there, kid.” 

You managed to chuckle at her attempt at humor, leaning back against the warehouse’s outer wall. “Thanks, asshole.” 

Sona hummed, moving to open the door. “That’s what I get paid for. Need some water before going back?”

“No, I’ll live.” 

With a last huff and a pull at the collar of the bodysuit, you made your way back inside, thankful the conversation has shifted past your abrupt  departure. You didn’t make a scene as you took a seat, whispering that you were fine to your boyfriends. You did catch Seungcheol’s eyes as Hongjoong and Chris spoke out of some ideas, the floor open for anyone else to speak up. He looked apologetic but you shook your head, giving a small smile to ease his worry and an ‘ok’ hand gesture. 

The cookies, without fail, were devoured by the lot of you. It warmed your soul to know you could provide some assistance with snacks, knowing most here were helping the ground, helping you, and you were thankful for it. Once this was all over, you’d be either making dinner for everyone , which was easy, just needed a lot of planning, or making a lot of dessert. 

“It’s late, I’m taking my leave,” Rheia stood, adjusting her shirt. “I’ll send out some feelers to see what MX has been doing, I’m going to speak with Psy as well. I might have some luck with my resources. If I find anything, I’ll send word.” 

She took long, poised strides towards the office door before glancing over her shoulder. “Meet somewhere else next time, less in your face, more subtle and hidden, for your own safety please.” 

“I can arrange for a boat.” Hongjoong snickered, giving her a bow of his head out of respect. 

“Honestly, that might be better.” She called back, leaving with mothering further. 

You snatched Joshua’s hand, hearing him hum in confusion as you checked his watch, nodding as you checked the time; nearly ten-fifty. The meeting seemed to be fizzling out faster than they expected, but there really wasn’t much to go on. Too many questions, too many unknowns. It was surprising with how out there they seemed to be. 

You did have an idea, but no one would like it, so you’d keep it to yourself unless it was truly necessary. Part of you thought it would be necessary… 

“I think we should pool some resources as well, keep eyes and ears open, and come back together for another idea session.” Seungcheol spoke up, sighing with some defeat. “Until we can really track them, I don’t think we can move forward.” 

“Agreed, I’d like to keep my people rather than get them killed. We need to tread the water carefully for now.” Hongjoong looked bored, disappointed, but he stood, nodding his head towards the door. “We’ll be in contact, hopefully they mess up enough to be caught.” 

Chris and the rest of SKZ stood. “Just don’t get reckless.” With a shrug, he moved towards the exit. “‘Til next time, guys.” 

“Mysterious as always,” Minji hummed, watching SKZ and ATZ exit, TXT not far behind as they said goodbyes. “Chins up, we’ll bring them down.” 

Her optimism was encouraging, nails drumming on the armrest of her chair before she and the rest of Dreamcatcher stood.

“Mouse, consider that job offer, hm?”

You snorted a laugh through your nose, dropping your head to stop the grin. She was being a shit kicker- Bitch . 

“Job- What?” Jeonghan sounded befuddled. “What job offer?” 

“Look what you’ve started-” You laughed as you spoke, raising your head to see her wide smirk. “I’m not gonna be able to get away from this-” 

“What? My personal assistance at my law firm sounds like a good job, doesn't it?” 

Siyeon suppressed her amusement, pushing Minji from the room with a choked goodbye. 

“Before any of you start shit- She offered, and I technically didn’t say no-” 

“Mouse!” 

You stumbled over your words, finally letting your laughter free. “What? Shouldn’t I have options if whatever shit with you guys doesn’t work out?” 

“I feel like if she was to work with us, she’d micromanage us.” Jihoon ducked his head, chuckling with Mingyu. 

“I would not!” 

“Liar.” Joshua added and you hit his arm. 

“You know, fuck off, maybe I will accept her offer-” 

“She doesn’t love us!” Jun acted as if he got hit by something, dramatically leaning into Wonwoo’s side, who sat beside him. “My heart! It’s been hit!” 

“See, Chan once said to me that no one loves SVT more than SVT and now that I’m in here, I agree, but like, touch grass. Please. For my sanity.” 

“Then don’t get kidnapped next time-” Wonwoo spoke matter-of-factly, a deadpan expression on his face. 

You rose from your chair, taking your jacket off. “I’m beating your ass.”  

“Oh? Really?”

“Oh yeah, downstairs, right now.” 

“Bet.”

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Chapter 46: Normalcy

TW

This chapter is some filler, some jokes, and friendship. There are sex jokes-

AN: I lied about posting the next chapter, I forgot so two are going out today.

Master List | Prev | Next

If they were plotting something, you didn’t know. They hadn’t told you of any plans, even Wonwoo, and for some reason it was making you a little nervous. 

Tessa, though she had to cancel your appointment on Tuesday and you couldn’t see her until Thursday, was proud of you! All the progress you made was great, but she did think the little bit of humor was probably uncalled for since you were talking about a very serious incident. C’est la vie. Can’t change that. 

Though you went over a lot about what happened when telling the guys, she did help you draft an email to send to your work regarding your resignation. After the session, you had a plan to ask Seokmin to read it over since he was home. 

“Real talk.” You clicked your tongue and Tessa snorted a laugh. 

“I thought we were, but alright, go on.”

You narrowed your eyes in thought. “How do you explain that you aren’t fragile and that things don’t need to be hidden from you?”

“There are a few ways to do this, but you want the most to-the-point way to do it?” 

“Pretty much. I told them on Monday but they haven’t said anything. If they are plotting, I’d like to know to prepare myself for the worst.” 

“Simple, just ask if they are plotting anything. Tell them you want to be involved and you aren't going to break because of their answers.” Tessa shrugged on camera. “ You’ve progressed quickly, but you’ve also been good with your limits. You are self aware of what you want or need so I’m not worried too much about you. That being said, I hope you know that just because you’ve come so far rather quickly, doesn’t mean you are fully better. You haven’t fully integrated back into life.”  

“Oh trust me, I know. But I’m going to have someone get my car from my place so I can go out more. Not the city by myself, but maybe the town here and the stores like that.” 

“If you struggle with any of that, we can talk more next session.” 

You hummed, glancing at the time. That email did take a while but that’s okay. “I’ll see you next week? Tuesday?”

“Hopefully nothing emergent comes up again. Sorry again about that.” 

“Eh, I won’t hold it against you.” 

“Thanks.” She said sarcastically, smiling as she bid you a farewell. 

Sprinting up the stairs from Pandora, laptop in hand, you made it to Seokmin’s door, knowing loudly until you heard him. Pushing open the door, you took note of Seokmin sitting on his bed, sorting his overflowing basket of laundry. 

He fixed his thick framed glasses, raising a brow. “ ‘Sup?”

“Can you read over my resignation. I want to send it out so Sona can pick up anything I left in my office.” 

Seokmin motioned you over, giving grabby hands for your laptop and you shuffled over to join him on the bed. 

He took your computer, letting you enter your password before starting his review. With nothing to do, you started to match his socks together and fold some of his pants. Beside you, he fixed a few things in your email before passing the device back, nodding. 

“It’s fine, I’m guessing you’ve already asked Sona to pick you stuff up? I should have done it while I was there…” 

“Ehh, it’s fine. She already agreed to go so I also asked her to get my car once she gets back from the office.” You hummed, helping him finish off his pile of clothes. “So…” 

“Do not-” Seokmin glared halfheartedly. 

“Any big bad evil plans against Monsta X?”

“Mouse.”

“Minnie.” 

He pushed his glasses up to the top of his head and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I haven’t heard anything. Cheol’s been really quiet, distant, and a little cagey. Kinda hard to talk to him. Joshua and Jeonghan can’t even get through to him either. Maybe blaming himself for it, you know how he gets.” 

You nodded along, a bit guilty since you did drop a fucking bomb of information on them – him – quickly. “So, work my magic I guess?” 

Seokmin cringed. “What fucking magic? He likes you. You don’t even have to do anything aside from batting your eyelashes and he is done for.” 

“Damn…You're right though.” The two of you shared a laugh. “I’ll try to get something out of him.” 

“Good luck.” Seokmin clicked his tongue as you sent the email, standing to bring some of his clothes to the closet. 

“Don’t need luck. I already have him wrapped around my finger apparently.” 

“You guys are gross, all four of you in your not-orgy orgy.” 

You paused, slapping a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing out loud. You let out a snort and Seokmin looked over, shaking his head. 

“Do not say anything stupid, please .” 

“Joshua wouldn’t be into the orgy, he’d sulk until he had me to himself again. Jeonghan would share-” 

Seokmin screamed , throwing some of the bundled up socks at you. “I don’t want to know this! Keep your sex-capades to yourself! You are like my sister and they are my brothers!!” 

“A good Eiffel tower-” 

“OUT!” Seokmin shrieked, running further into his closet. “Or shut up!”

You cackled, falling onto his pillows, trying to catch your breath. “You started it!” 

“And I’m ending it before I end myself!”

You didn’t get to see Seungcheol until Friday evening when he came home. 

Thursday, you only got to have dinner with Seokmin, Jun, Chan, Soonyoung, and Vernon, but the group of you made the most of it. 

Junk food, watching bad movies, and enjoying the company of the night. Jun talked way more than you ever heard before, feeding off the chaos of Soonyoung and Chan, even Seokmin. You and Vernon sent videos of them arguing over dumb topics to the newly made group chat, the fan favorite video being them almost killing each other over whether Pokemon or Digimon was better. You had to deescalate that when Soonyoung got too heated. 

You had learned that Jeonghan, Joshua, Mingyu, Seungkwan and Seokmin would be out of town until Sunday evening at the same time as sending the videos. Something about money and a late shipment payment. Seokmin rushed to change and threw a bag together, complaining loudly that he wished he was told way earlier. 

After he hurried out of the house, Vernon called out his craving for chocolate chip cookies but it was late and the lot of you were too lazy to go out and get some. You got up to scour the kitchen for all the necessary ingredients, placing item after item on the counter until the list was fulfilled. 

It was surprisingly easy to rope Jun into helping you. Chan and Soonyoung tried to back out but you put them on portioning duty, having them place the balled up dough on the trays to bake. Vernon…he was high but was up to sitting (in the way) on the floor in front of the oven to make sure the cookies didn’t burn. All of them reminded you of cats with the exception of Chan, who was still an otter in your eyes. 

The group of you feasted on cookies with you saving plenty for those unable to indulge at that moment. You had to hide them from Jun and Vernon, the container ending up in Jihoon’s car since you found his keys. 

Friday, Seungcheol came home late, missing dinner and shutting himself in his room. Minghao had commented that it wasn’t a good day, nothing bad happened but his mood was down since he walked through the warehouse doors. Jihoon made a comment that Cheol was up his ass about security and keeping an eye out for any insiders. Wonwoo…He ended up staying in the city for some things. 

You had given him just over an hour of being home before knocking on his door. In your other hand, you held a plate of leftovers, heated up so he could hopefully eat it quickly before it cooled once more. When there was no answer, you knocked a second time, flinching back when the door was roughly pulled over. 

“Can you leave me alone- Mouse.” Cheol froze, looking like a deer in headlights as he took you in. His hair was tousled, long changed from his suit for a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. 

Righting yourself, you handed the food over to him. “You need to eat.” 

“I’m not hungry.” He cleared his throat, shaking his head. 

“Hm.” You raised a brow. “Would you actually like to fight me on this one?” 

His lip twitched and his gaze fell away from you. “I’d like to not fight at all.” A pout was forming on his lips. 

“Great!” You shouldered past him, hearing a small grunt in response. 

Placing yourself on the edge of his bed, you waited for him to close the door and stand before you, an unamused look in his eyes. You offered him the plate once more, which he took, and sat down with a huff beside you. In majority silence, Seungcheol ate, grumbling to himself childishly, the only things you were able to make out was a jumbled comment of thank you and him actually being hungry. When finished, Seungcheol placed the plate on his nightstand and sighed, falling back onto his bed. 

“Sorry about how I answered the door.” 

Clicking your tongue, you turned to face him, looking down at his tired expression. “Forget that, do you want to talk about what’s got your panties in a twist?” 

Seungcheol groaned, frowning at the ceiling as it offended him. The frown quickly shifted back to that pout you knew well before his expression dropped overall. 

“I’m getting in my head.” 

“Oh I know.” You shifted closer, tugging part of a blanket over your lap. “I have a good feeling you are blaming yourself for what happened when it wasn’t your fault.” 

“But it was my fault!” The loud exclamation had you flinching back and he quickly apologized, sitting up to face you. “If this years old grudge between them and me didn’t exist, they wouldn’t have watched, stalked, and taken you from me- us. They wouldn’t have hurt you. How can’t I blame myself?”

You recalled Jeonghan’s explanation of the issues that started between MX, mainly Kihyun and Shownu, and the eldest of SVT. How bad decisions and low morals led to a fucked up situation. 

“I’ve learned in my time here that things don’t always go how we want.” You snickered but Cheol furrowed his brows at your words. “Hannie- He told me a little about SVT's beginning, your beginnings. The drug running to help keep you afloat, Pledis, how Kihyun went insane basically. Monsta X has held resentment, or obsession, over all of you for so long that adding me into the mix wouldn’t have done anything if I didn’t get more involved with Jeonghan, Joshua…And you.”

You reached out and took one of his hands into both of yours, gently running your fingers over his skin. “They were watching you way before I came into the picture, Cheol. They used me as a pawn in their game. I could probably place a bet that they planned something before me but I was the easy target. They hurt Mingyu on purpose too, to hurt everyone. Monsta X are vindictive people with sick ideals and fixations. They won’t stop until they get what they want. Blaming yourself for stepping away from their shit and wanting something different will never stop them. Blaming yourself for them hurting me won’t stop them. And blaming yourself won’t stop them from hurting us again.” 

There was a hard gaze in his eyes, focusing on anything but you. His jaw was tense and the vein in his neck bulged slightly. Seungcheol’s hand tightened around your own and you weren’t uncomfortable.

Like a switch flipped, his shoulders dropped along with his head and he let your hands go. Whether he meant to or not, he half dove into you, arms wrapping snuggly around your waist with his face buried into the blanket in your lap.

“Oh-” You held your arms up, staring down at his unexpected display. “Okay-” 

He radiated warmth, giving a gentle squeeze around your waist as he let out a tense breath. Then suddenly he was scrambling back, as if remembering your current issues with touch. An apology spilled from his lips, but he looked upset and your heart fluttered. 

“It’s okay. It was…nice actually. You’re also really warm which is great since it’s freezing out.” 

He lit up when you laughed, bright eyes watching you move from your spot to sit better under the covers. 

“Uh-” He bit his lip for a moment. “Can I-” 

“If you promise not to squish me, yeah.” 

You figured laying down was the best course of action, getting comfortable and opening your arms to him. Once more he dove into you, securing a tight hold on your middle with his head buried low on your chest to avoid the brand from how he eyed just under your neck and shimmied down. You struggled to get the blanket to cover you both but Cheol was content and so were you. 

When he finished getting comfortable, you carded your fingers through his unruly, curly hair, scratching gently at his scalp. 

“Joshua is right, this is the best.” He was barely heard properly with him talking into your abdomen. 

“Oh, so you guys talk about me behind my back now?” 

He turned his head, eyes closed. “They complain that they miss you but I’m soaking up the benefits for now.”

Chuckling, you shook your head. “Don’t rub it in. Jeonghan will scheme and Joshua will refuse to let you near me.”

“They are gone for two days, they can suck my dick.”

You could feel the deep rumble of his laughter against your body, one of his hands running up your back. 

There was pleasant silence for a long stretch of time. You continued to mindlessly play with his – surprisingly – soft hair, unable to tell if he was asleep or not. 

“Mouse?” You hummed when he addressed you, glancing down at him. “I’m going to make them pay for hurting my family.” 

There it was. 

“I expect nothing less. Kinda thought you already had a plan.” 

“I’ve been thinking of a plan. A few plans. I want to bring them down for good.” He lifted his head to rest his chin on your stomach. “I want it to stop.” 

Those big puppy eyes were hard to not stare into. There was a need for approval in his gaze. 

“I’ll support you anyway I can, but I want a promise that you won’t hide anything from me. Full transparency. I’m getting a little tired not being in on stuff if I’m probably gonna be working with you guys more.”

“Promise.” Seungcheol propped himself up on his elbows. “I promise and I’ll find you something to do with us. Maybe with Wonwoo or – Unless you want to pick-”

You shushed him and he settled, shifting about to get cozy again. 

“Maybe I can job fair this shit until I find what I like.” 

“Just please don’t work under Han or Shua. They won’t work.” 

“And you?” 

“Definitely not me!”

To say Jeonghan and Joshua were in a very particular mood when they got home was an understatement. They weren’t mad – no, far from it, but apparently Jihoon told Vernon, who, of course, told Seungkwan, who told Seokmin, who finally told your boyfriends that you and Seungcheol got a little closer while they were gone. 

Joshua, as you expected, huffed and puffed loudly, whining that they were only gone for two days. He, with plenty of your consent, stole you away for a few peaceful hours, soaking up your presence. From the moment you both laid down, his hands were gently holding you close, tracing small, uncoordinated patterns on your hips and back. On and off he spoke nonsense, whatever came to mind, work, life, some article he read online, occasionally falling asleep here and there after the exhausting few days, weeks . As he slept, you could feel a lot of the tension leaving his body, probably all the worry about you. 

When Jeonghan got his hands on you after dinner, there was no escape for the rest of the night. He yapped from the time he went to unpacked his bag, to when he pulled you to sit in the bathroom while he showered, and he spoke even louder as you brushed and dried his hair. He didn’t stop until he poked you into telling him what happened with Seungcheol with the widest smirk on his lips the entire time. He cooed and snickered through your little explanation, running his hands gently through your hair. Though he didn’t like not having you close, he did agree with the leader’s comment of not working with any of the three of them, knowing nothing would get done when they had such a ‘gorgeous distraction’.

Seungcheol did end up having a lot of fun gloating at first but mostly spared you from the ‘torment’. 

Your supervisor had replied to your resignation email with more compassion than anticipated. He was understanding, wishing you luck with your future endeavors, and let you know someone could get any left over things. Sona was quickly to reply to your text message of when she could go to your job to get anything you left behind. When asked if she could grab your car along the way to bring it to you, she was happy to, stating she was glad to get out of the city for a bit.

Chan had started to hover as well since Thursday evening. You noticed it rather quickly when branching off from Seungcheol. He looked like he wanted to say something but always backed out at the last minute. You cornered him after he came home Tuesday afternoon, asking him to go to the food store with you. He hesitated but you were already throwing his jacket at him and grabbing you keys. 

As you strolled casually through the aisle, grabbing things necessary to sustain the house of fourteen with Chan following behind, adding things to the car here and there. The silence was okay at first, it wasn’t a bother, but the longer it stretched on with each passing row of shelves, you had enough of it. 

“Alright, out with it, kid.” You stopped the cart and placed your hands on your hips, narrowing your gaze at him. “What’s wrong?” 

He froze, stammering out incoherently until his shoulders dropped in defeat and he pursed his lips. “Can I…get the number of your therapist?” 

“My therapist? Of course you can, is this why you’ve been hovering?” 

“I wasn’t hovering-” He paused, “Okay, maybe I was a little, but yeah, mostly. Between my own stuff and worrying about you, I’d like to give it a shot.” 

Instantly you pulled your phone out of your pocket and quickly sent over the number to him via text. “Tell them I gave you the number when you call.” 

“Thanks, Mo.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, staring down at his feet. “Any advice?” 

You grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze which surprised him. “Just be honest. She knows the life we live in. She is amazing. Don’t be afraid to open up to her.”

He nodded along to your words before he spoke. “Can we pick up more ice cream?” 

Your eyes ran over his face for a moment, seeing the seriousness in his eyes, only to laugh gently. “Yeah, but we need to finish grabbing everything else first so it doesn’t melt before we leave, got it?” 

From then on, Chan was chatty and happier, a bounce to his step as he helped finish off the grocery list. He was far too happy grabbing too many snacks but you did nothing to stop him. You didn’t have the heart to stop him.  He got more ice cream than expected once you reached the freezer section, only refuting your disagreement with ‘Someone will eat it’ , which you couldn’t deny. 

By the time you were at the check out, the shopping cart was packed to the brim and then some, a small mountain in the middle, items precariously stacked, at risk of toppling down the sides. You were lucky you decided to take (nicely stole) Minghao’s SUV after leaving a note (even if he wasn’t home) last minute. Not all of the food bags would have fit in your car…not even close. 

The line was long and you had a lot so you waited patiently, people watching quietly to pass the time. It was quiet, aside from the pauses for Chan to laugh and show you things on his phone as he scrolled aimlessly. He was showing you a video when a call came in, a rather curious name of ‘The Ass Man’ that had you confused. 

“Who-” You started but he swiped the screen to answer it, smirking. 

“Hey Woo, what’s up?”

On the other end of the phone, Wooyoung was yelling but nothing was able to be made out. Chan made a face somewhere between annoyed and entertained, letting the other man yell about whatever bothered him. It went on for a while, slowly moving forward in line as he went on a tangent that seemed never ending. Chan made a few comments here and there but it was nothing substantial to stop the other man. 

“Me? I’m at the store with Mo right now.” 

You heard a loud exclamation ‘What?!’ followed by Chan pulling the phone away from his ear to spare his hearing. The line went dead and seconds later your phone was vibrating in your pocket. 

“Oh my god.” You dug into your pocket to get your phone, rolling your eyes on Wooyoung’s contact staring back at you. “Hello?” 

“Girly, you finally answer now?! I’ve been calling on and off for days!” Wooyoung scoffed, chatter heard in the background from his end. 

“Ay, listen, I’m getting there, be happy I answered now. What’s up?” 

He gasped, groaning loudly, childishly. “What's up? What's up?! Mouse! You can’t just ask that after everything! How are you?! Are you okay?! Are you eating?!”

“Woo, I’m okay, promise. Honestly I planned to go through the mass of messages and calls soon to get back to people but you caught me first.” Chan hip checked you to take control of the cart, moving along. 

“Well, we all need to get together! I need to see for myself how my girl is doing. Everyone has been worried!” 

“First, not your girl, don’t let my boyfriends hear that.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, letting out a heavy sigh. “Second, you won’t let me say no, will you?”

“You know me so well. I’m making up plans for this weekend sometime! Be prepared. Love you bye!”

And Wooyoung hung up on you instantly. 

Chan was snickered at your side, starting to load items onto the checkout conveyor. Your phone vibrated in rapid succession, giving your companion a glare. 

“I’m blaming you for telling him you were with me.”

 “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Together, you managed to check out and pile everything into the car with haste, wanting to escape to the warmth of the house. The sun was set before arriving back and the helpful hands of Jihoon and Jun were waiting in the garage thanks to Chan calling them. They helped with ease, making mindless conversation as everything was put away. With you buying all the food, dinner was covered by the skillful hands of Jun, having prepped a lovely noodle dish for those who’d be home and leftover to spare. 

You fell onto the couch, starting your scroll through your texts with time before dinner. 

Your eye caught on the solo messages from Seungcheol, a thread of texts not typically looked through since intersections were mainly over phone calls.

[Lion Cub – Jan 1 12:01AM]  I know you won’t probably see this for a while but I just wanted to tell you Happy New Year. I miss you. I thought this was a good way to keep you updated on things. I hope we find you soon. No one has been sleeping or eating much and it’s only been over 2 days. I’m sorry we couldn’t prevent this. [Lion Cub – Jan 1 7:56PM] We finally found you. You are horribly banged up but you are in the great hands of Jihoon, Seonghwa, and Yeosang. You looked so fragile and it hurt more than seeing everyone else upset.  [Lion Cub – Jan 1 9:42 PM]  Jeonghan, Joshua, and I just got back to the penthouse after seeing you. You looked so peaceful laying there. They don’t know when you are going to wake up, but I’m holding out hope. I’ll do everything in my power to make this right, promise.  [Lion Cub – Jan 2 11:54PM]  I tried to sneak into the clinic to see you but I got caught by Seonghwa checking on your IV bag. He tried to give me a lecture but it definitely fell on deaf ears. He said you were stable but there weren't any signs yet that you were waking up.  Your hand was so cold when I held it. It felt so small in my hands but it felt perfect in mine. I don’t know how to explain it.  [Lion Cub – Jan 3 7:23AM] I had a dream last night. You and I were in a cabin in the woods, watching the wood burn in the fireplace while wrapped up in a blanket. We had cups of your hot chocolate to help keep us warm. You were saying something to me but I don’t remember what it was. You looked so pretty in that flickering light, I do remember that I couldn’t stop staring. You had this big smile on your face, like when I took you out on that date and asked if we could also go for ice cream. I can’t begin to express how you looked, ethereal is a good word. It feels so long ago that it happened. Like a million years. And it also feels like we’ve lost so much time that I can’t make up for it. There are so many things I want to tell you, things I can’t express over text. Things that would be better said face to face. Please wake up soon, Mouse. I can’t think I or anyone else can handle another day of you not being here in our lives.  [Lion Cub – Jan 4 6:57PM]  Not gonna lie, I miss your cooking a lot. Mingyu has been desperately trying to get your pot pie right but whatever you do to it just hits different. Everyone has been getting take out so we have been surviving on that, which isn’t ideal but as long as they are eating, right?  Jeonghan and Joshua have been overworking but visiting you a lot so I can’t really sit alone and just talk with you like you are there. That is the main reason I started to text you, to feel close even if you were far.  [Lion Cub – Jan 5 4:31PM]  I’ve been working all day but I’m really distracted. I have this tightness in my chest whenever I think about you and I’m just…out of it.  Maybe it’s jealousy.  No, it’s definitely some jealousy that Han and Josh are so close to you. They have been visiting you whenever they have time, day or night, and I wish I could do the time, but I need to keep the group in line, keep the ship running would be a better way to put it.  When you wake up, I plan to tell you what I really want to talk to you about. So please wait for that, okay? 

There were no messages since you woke up, leaving you grasping at metaphoric straws of what he wanted to say. You went back and forth on messaging him, asking what he wanted to say, but you decided against it for the time being, knowing it was best to talk to him in person. You…might have had an idea of what he wanted to talk about…

In the end, you pulled up the 99 line group chat, scrolling as far back as you could to messages right before Christmas, reading through the holiday well wishes and sharing jokes and memes. When you got to the messages just after you were taken, your heart hurt.

They were quick sharing locations, letting each team know where they had searched and where they didn’t with no luck in any place. Those texts morphed into asking Chan, Yeosang, and Yunho for updates on your condition, even their master plan to go in and see you the day you woke up. They were sad, the messages not having the usual bright enthusiasm they had, but it was understandable. Many of the same check-in messages followed with the intermittent input of a meme or a normal conversation. Wooyoung – or well, you thought it was Wooyoung with the group chat name of Attack Cell , was desperately trying to make plans for everyone, or at least with someone, last minute the further down you got. 

And you definitely thought him into existence. 

[Pass The Brain Cell]  {Attack Cell 6:29PM}  Great news I spoke to Mo Saturday I’m thinking like 9? Or earlier idc {Bitch Thots 6:31PM} You paying tf? {No Thots 6:32PM} Weren’t we supposed to have a meeting, Woo? {Attack Cell 6:33PM} Do u think if Mo cries on the phone with HJ again he will let us off

You called out for Chan who waddled down the hall, seeing him looking down at his phone with a grin. 

“I mean, it did work last time.” He took a seat beside you, shrugging. “I think it will work again. We could always try it!” 

“Worse than a child.”

[To Pass The Brain Cell 6:36PM] How about we ask everyone else if they are free instead of just giving times?  Also, who is who?? {Attack Cell 6:38PM}  Ur The Brain Cell (unanimous vote)  Yeosang is No Thots and Gahyeon is Bitch Thots Mingi is Never The Brain Cell San is Wide Cell, Changbin is Meat Cell, and Yunho is Spider Cell Chan is Maraca head Yeonjun is Empty Hamster Wheel  {Maraca Head 6:39PM} They said my head is full of beans and I made sound when I shake my head

“Ah!” You gasped, turning to Chan. “That’s mean.”

“Okay, maybe a little,” Chan laughed, leaning into your side, head falling onto your shoulder. “But Yeonjun’s is funnier.” 

“I can agree to that.” 

[To Pass The Brain Cell 6:42PM] What’s everyone’s availability? {Attack Cell 6:43PM} Checking ATZ rn {Bitch Thots 6:45PM}  I’m free all weekend, Yubin owes me a favor so I’m taking advantage of it.  {Maraca Head 6:45PM}  Mouse and I should be good, just need to get her THREE boyfriends to back off.  {Bitch Thots 6:45PM}  THREE? Girl…  {Meat Cell 6:46PM}  Ohhhh tea. I’m open Frinight + Sun  {Empty Hamster Wheel 6:46PM}  Friday i’m good  {Wide Cell 6:47PM}  WY got a call but we all can do Fri- There was supposed to be a thing but the buyer backed out. 

“Friday good?” Chan asked, peering curiously at you. 

You chuckled under your breath, sending him a look that had him joining in. “What else do I have to do? Clean and cook like a housewife more?” 

“Who is cooking and cleaning?” Jihoon shuffled in, phone in his face. 

“Me, with all the shit you guys leave around and how much you fucking eat.” 

Jihoon stopped in his tracks, pursing his lips but couldn’t stop the nod. “I will admit to those. And I appreciate everything you do around here.” 

You laughed, watching him crash out on the couch not far from you, typing something on his phone. He made a face and all your phones within the room chimed. 

[Squad]  {Lion Cub 6:51PM}  Saturday 9PM, warehouse meeting.  No bailouts.  Prep anything necessary to attend, no exceptions.  [Pass the Brain Cell]  {Attack Cell 6:52PM}  Saturday is a bust, Friday good for everyone? {Bitch Thots 6:52PM}  Chan, SVT meeting???  Hello??? 

“Oh…This is going to be the MX meeting, isn’t it?” Your eyes fell on Jihoon, thinking he knew something, but he only shrugged. 

“Probably, but this is the first I’m hearing about it. Chances are it was decided moments before the text.” 

“Welp, ATZ and DC are involved, probably SKZ and TXT so it’s going to be a full house on Saturday.” You smirked then raised a brow at Chan. “Do you think I can make enough cookies by Saturday to feed everyone some? My ‘ sorry they kidnapped me’ type of thing?” 

“You are horrible, Mo.” Chan shook his head but nodded not long after. “But if you start tomorrow, yeah probably.” 

Jun’s gasp was heard from the kitchen. “If you make cookies, can I help again? I never get to bake enough.”

“Of course you can, I’ll need all the hands I can get.”

You had to return to the food store a second time within two days to basically buy out all the ingredients to make the cookies you wanted to share. Jun accompanied you this time around, no plans with no jobs on the schedule from Cheol, just wanted to get out of the house. Most needed to return to the city to make arrangements for Saturday night, mainly for the clubs and any shipments they needed to get out. Jihoon bitched the most that he had to call someone in to  fill in for him, grumbling that he had to call someone in on their day off for it, knowing the weekends are the busiest for his clubs. 

Jeonghan had texted your group chat with Joshua that they would be home later, with the latter man being a little later due to something with Dreamcatcher’s leader that he was ‘ too lazy to explain’. You told him not to worry, you’d be having a busy day with Jun and Minghao, seeing as one wanted to help from the beginning and the other not having a single thing to do.

99 line had confirmed plans for Friday night, just dinner and maybe some drinking if everyone felt up for it. Changbin, Wooyoung, and Mingi were most excited, happy to be able to see their friends again, the whole group, in a few weeks. Yunho, San, and Yeosang were happy to have a ‘ normal people night’, the three having been busy with travel and they’d finally be in town for longer than a week to relax at home, even just a little bit. There was an overall agreement that they were happy to have you get out of the house. The agreed upon meet up would be closer to the house, further from the city for your comfortability, at a nice restaurant Gahyeon found, reservations for six-thirty sharp. Whoever was late, paid for the evening. You were not going to be late at any means necessary. 

“If we are baking this much, don’t expect me to cook.” You had the kitchen island absolutely covered in bowls, pans, ingredients, and more. “What are we ordering??” 

Jun snickered, stating the portioning of cookies for the first few pans. “Any ideas, Hao?” 

Minghao looked up from one of the recipes you wrote down, eyes wide from not paying attention to the conversation around him. “Huh?”

“Food, no want cook, ideas?” 

He blinked, nodding along before his eyes fell back into the papers before him. “I’m open for anything. That new hot pot place opened a town over, we can always get out of the house.” 

You mixed the dough in front of you, frowning. “That requires outside pants…” 

Looking down at your current attire and the other two, flour and probably other ingredients dusted your clothes, and you all barely looked put together. Jun was in a ratty shirt with holes and rips, paired with equally ratty flannel pajama pants. You, for once, were in your own clothes, but you needed to change if you were going out anywhere. Hao was similar to Jun but he wasn’t dressed for the cold with a t-shirt-turned-muscle shirt and old basketball shorts. 

Minghao’s head raised once more, starting to measure the flour, sugar, and such out into a new bowl for more cookies. “Then we…” He clicked his tongue. “No, fuck you, we need to get you out of the house.” 

“Boo, you whore.” You scoffed, scrunching your nose up. “Fine, I’ll be a real human.” 

Jun chuckled happily, sliding the filled pans into the over. “It’s okay, Mo, we only learned how to be real humans some years ago. Before that it was, like, Agent 47 type of thing. Well – minus the gene augmentation, but trained assassin, I think…”

“He has never seen or played the movies-slash-games, for context.”

“Eh, they are okay. Games were better in my opinion.” 

“I’ll take your word for it. Oh! And we aren’t bald so-” Jun hummed, starting the next pans. 

“He knows two things about the Hitman franchise.”

“Anyways – I’ve learned that you don’t need to dress up all the time, might just throw on a sweatshirt and change pants.”

“Okay, but you both get out of the house more than I do. I wanted to throw on some of my nice jeans and not Han’s or Shua’s shirts.” 

“Too much effort for warm food.” Hao countered, shaking his head. “Boring and lazy. That is what I am when I can.” 

“Says the person with the richest closet in the room.” Jun comments.

“That’s okay. Cheol’s watch collection could pay for everything for the rest of our lives if needed.” You handed Jun another finished bowl of dough. “He has one worth over forty-five thousand in there.” 

“Oh we know, he was like a kid in a candy shop when it came in.” 

“Ehhhhh, treat yourself sometimes.” 

“Says the woman with, now, an unlimited bank card that still shops on discounts.” 

You gasped at Minghao, picking up a pinch of flour and throwing it at him. “And?! It’s what I know! What I'm used to!”

He laughed, patting off his shirt but the effort was futile. “Nothing, nothing! Just saying you should treat yourself too!” 

“I’ll get there eventually!” Giving him a childish huff, you tossed flour at him once more before going back to the task at hand. “Chop chop boys, we gotta bake all my apology cookies!” 

The three of you worked quietly on the cookies, only pausing for a ‘taste test’. You heated up some leftovers in the mess for lunch, sharing stories between the job. 

Minghao and Jun opened up some more regarding their background. They talked vaguely of the abuse they faced during baking of loving sweet treats since they couldn’t have any in the past. They touched on some of the scare tactics the ‘caretakers’ used to get them in line, the deprivation they experienced. Jun seemed more guarded about it all, having you believe he experienced worse, but you didn’t pry, simply lending an ear as he rambled here and there. Minghao told you more about Xiaoyu, how the times she cooked for them sparked Jun’s interest in the task. 

Jun got flustered at the attention on him. He sputtered when you praised his cooking from the previous night, with him saying it was nothing and he enjoyed cooking. He resigned to continuing portioning the cookies between bake times, helping you place the cooled products into the cheap plastic containers you bought. 

The flow was cranking out so many cookies you knew you’d have to get more the following day… 

You did send a picture to the Squad and Pass the Brain Cell chats, letting them see the treats you were creating. That got some a little too excited, especially 99 line after your Christmas brownies. 

Baking went on for hours, running out of containers hours prior, only to haphazardly stack them on plates and dishes until more storage was retrieved for them. Dinner with the two was chill, stomach rumbling until the food was placed in front of you. It was nice, conversation flowing and Jun showing you plenty of ways to elevate your hot pot soup base. The evening ended with finding Soonyoung trying to steal a few cookies before he turned in for the night, listening to him whine that they looked so delicious. 

You were in the process of taking the bandages off your chest and changing them for the sticky, plastic covering to shower when the door opened. Jeonghan trudged in tiredly, eyes half open as he closed the door behind him, not noticing you as he grumbled your name. You were half naked, standing in your jeans and a bra, brand uncovered, and unsure of what to do…so you froze. 

With your silence, Jeonghan looked about until he spotted you in the bathroom, taking you in in your current state. He didn’t move at first, only staring from the distance with a sad, wide eyed look in his eyes. You couldn’t tell if you should close the door, something told you you shouldn’t, and he took a step towards you. 

“Hi.” The word left his lips in a whisper, wishing to not scare you, moving slowly. “Can I come closer?” 

Gulping down the slip in your mouth, you nodded, dropping your hands at your sides. You were exposed, felt exposed, and Jeonghan approached only to stop at the doorway. You felt self-conscious. 

The bruising was healed, no longer a multicolored mess of injuries. The electrical burns at your sides were slightly discolored, but the brand was still stark, gross, gooey. It wasn’t pretty, you were worried he was going to be grossed out. So far, from context you managed to piece together while you were in the mini-coma, only Jihoon, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Yeosang, Yunho, and Seonghwa had seen it, helped take care of you and it while you were down. 

Jeonghan would be the first to see this outside of your designated medical team and his reaction could make or break this. 

His eyes ran over your slowly, as if he was taking you in for the first time, cautiously. He held out his hands, palms up and open for you to place yours in, meeting your gaze with the softest look. When your hands were in his, he gave them a gentle squeeze, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours.

“Does it hurt at all?” 

Sighing through your nose, you shrugged. “Initially, yeah, a lot. Sometimes now, the skin around it itches like hell, like, I want to peel my skin off itchy, but the brand itself…I feel nothing. There are times where the skin feels really tight, not sure how to explain it. I can’t feel the brand itself, Seonghwa said it’s normal for a major third degree burn.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through this, love.” Bringing your hands to his lips, Jeonghan placed small kisses to your knuckles. “I promise we will take care of everything, okay?” 

Letting his hands slip from yours, you held Jeonghan’s face in your hands, running your thumbs over his cheeks. He searched your expression, his eyes running over your features again and again. Slowly, his hands settled on your waist, tracing aimless patterns on the skin there. 

To say he didn’t look worried or sad was an understatement. His hands on you were a little hesitant, even as he traced your skin, unsaid words playing behind his gaze.

“I’m okay, Hannie.” You attempted to reassure him, watching a faint smile bloom on his lips. “I’m tougher than I look.” 

Your boyfriend laughed out his nose, pulling you closer by the waist. “I know you are, it’s one of the reasons why I love you.” 

Leaning up, you placed a chaste kiss to his lips, letting him pull you even close to his body, careful of your chest. He hummed quietly, eyes slipping shut along with yours, stealing another kiss. 

“If I help you…” He stole a third kiss, this one longer, his arms slipping around your waist. “Get the bandages on to shower, can I join? You know…to save on water and all-” 

You leaned your head back in a laugh that bubbled from your chest, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Oh yeah, to save on water. Totally. ”

“Spare me the sarcasm. I miss my girlfriend and I get to shower with her? I’m taking the wins where I can.” 

You gave him an incredulous look, raising an eyebrow. “Fine, but no funny business, you got me?” 

“Oh, love, you know I can never promise that. Plus…we had fun last time showering together.” He gave you a wink, a mischievous smirk on his face. 

Leveling him with an unimpressed stare, you only saw that smirk turn into a wide, playful grin. 

“Come on,” He egged you on, reaching up to lift your chin, holding it between his two fingers. “Just me…you…the running water…you and me…You know.” 

“Jeonghan, if you want to have sex, you have words.” 

Dramatically, he groaned, pouting down at you. 

“Yes, fine, I want to have the most wonderful, cheesy, emotional, amazing shower sex, happy?” 

“Why do I date you?” You shook your head, but did nothing to stop the smile on your features. “Yeah, fine, now help me get the bandage on.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

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[wooahaeruby]

writing fanfiction is the most fun awesome thing on earth. also terrible horrible awful one thousand agonies

[wooahaeruby]

i can’t even process him right now. what the fuck.

[wooahaeruby]

The “oh I could definitely write this fanfic in under 5000 words and it really wouldn’t take me that long” voice in your head is actually the devil speaking

[wooahaeruby]

*coughs* thank you for all the continued support for BSH ❤️

It's my pleasure, I love BSH and the way you write. 🧡

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Chapter 45: Truth Be Told

TW

flashbacks, descriptions of torture/Mouse's MX Trauma, uhhhh yeah, and bad jokes here and there, Kinda sad, Kinda happy.

AN: It has been a while, and I'm sorry. March is my cursed month and everything was all over the place so I was figuring life out. In regards to BSH, i have caught up to myself in chapters basically! When I post the next chapter, I will have the BSH Master List updated for the next chapter date! It will be in line with my Ao3 updates!

Thank you for everyone who has been following along, it means a lot!! <3

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The last two weeks had been busy, tiring, but good nonetheless. 

You weren’t even sure how you were processing things so well, maybe due to Tessa’s help… Probably due to Tessa’s help . 

During your second session, you informed her of your leap of faith with a sleeping Joshua. She expressed her praise, telling you it was an amazing step, even if it was early in your recovery. She brought up her assumptions from the first session, if you were simply just reminding yourself that your group wouldn’t harm you, which you did explain you had. Tessa asked if you had done anything else yet to try and continue with progress. You had tried…but Jeonghan is a light sleeper and you were a little shaken that he would have a good type of freak out over trying. Sometimes he was a lot despite your love for him. 

Tessa gently asked if you would continue where you left off last time, speaking about your kidnapping and torture. You knew you didn’t want to put it off, some part of you felt your anxiety shifting into something different , and Wonwoo had kept your secret while letting you know he was trying to keep tabs on MX. You didn’t want anyone to be mad at him for keeping it, even if he was holding the secret. That would have made you feel worse. 

“I…woke up tied to a chair.” You started, sitting curled up with a cup of tea in Pandora. “They were talking…talking about me and how the groups were trying to find me. My head hurt, one of them said that they hit me on the head with the butt of a gun because I woke up and kicked one of them. Then…they dumped freezing cold water on me and took off whatever was over my head and I was him .” 

Placing your mug down, you trembled out a breath, feeling the burn in the back of your throat and a headache starting to build. Tessa cleared her throat to catch your attention. 

“One thing at a time. Who is he, Mouse?” 

His sick smirk drifted into your mind, the gross feeling of his hand on you. 

You wouldn’t let him, them, win. Not anymore. 

“Kihyun.” You gritted out the name with hatred, balling your fists. His name had fury boiling under your skin and the brand uncomfortably itches. 

Tessa wrote something down, taking in the information and nodding. “Last time, you were more panicked and scared even thinking about it. What’s changed today?” 

“I won’t let them win anymore.” Push pushed the words out, clenching your jaw. Anxiety was still present, an ugly mix with the anger you were feeling. “They’ve taken enough from me. They can’t take anymore from me.”

You���you did have a panic attack after the hour long session and was found by Jihoon who was home that day when the others were busy. He had helped you calm down, explaining after that Wonwoo told them how to help when you were panicking. The loud music definitely helped to ease the tension in your body. You had thanked him and he gave a nonchalant shrug, pouting as he said ‘That’s what family is for ’ which made you cry and him to freak out.

You were still not ready yet to face the group and tell them everything at that point. Tessa had reassured you that you didn’t need to tell all of them at once, it would be overwhelming, but you told yourself you needed to tell them all at once. 

The first weekend since starting therapy, Sona showed up with a surprise. That surprise? Her corgi puppy that she never told you about. 

The little potato, Gem, was the most precious, cuddly girl you ever met. She loved all the attention you were willing to give her. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Sona had left you with Gem to talk privately with Seungcheol, who at the time was also enjoying his time with the puppy. You had learned he did want a dog but never had the time to actually do it with their work. 

“Come on.” Sona spoke up upon her return. “Go get dressed.” 

You frowned, confused. “Huh?” 

“Go get dressed,” She repeated, “We are going on a walk.” 

You did end up getting changed, bundled up for the cold weather after changing out the bandages on your chest. You had stolen one of Jeonghan’s thick jackets to stay warm. Sona waited with Gem at the back door, the pup in a little jacket, booties, and a harness for a walk. Gem pawed at the glass, barking quietly to go out. You stared wide eyed outside, not having stepped out of the house since coming home. 

This was one of your irrational fears. Outside, the unknown and chaotic world it was. 

The cold chill of the winter air had you shivering violently, used to the warmth and safety of inside. You pulled the collar of the sweatshirt you had under the jacket up, seeing Sona waiting patiently and Gem spinning in small circles, tail wagging. Carefully, you stepped onto the back patio, hating the freezing cold. Your heart trembled, taking in a deep breath, glancing around curiously.

You were safe. You were protected…

Sona handed Gem’s leach over to you, encouraging you to walk with her. With any slow long gone, you let the potato dog gently lead you around the gated SVT property, her needing to smell everything. As you passed the gym, you saw Jihoon, Joshua, Seokmin, and Mingyu working out, surprised expressions as you waved passing the windows. 

“You look better,” Sona commented, hands slipped into her pockets. She stood away from you, leaving a healthy amount of space between you both. “How are you?” 

“Therapy makes me want to throw up, not in a bad way, I’m just exhausted mentally and I’ve only had two sessions.” 

“I could only imagine, but if it’s helping, it shows outwardly.” 

You stopped to let Gem do her business, sighing. “I told her about everything on Thursday, which was great, minus the after-session panic attack. I’m not ready yet to face the guys, or anyone else yet, and see the emotions on their faces.” 

“No one is pressuring you to say anything, Mouse. I hope you know that.” 

“Wonwoo knows one thing and has been keeping the secret since the beginning of the week.” You rushed the words out, hearing Sona laugh in return. 

“So you are pressuring yourself then? Sounds about right.” 

“Hey!” Gem jumped curiously at your shout, nub tail wagging before continuing on the walk. “Give me a break here, I’m going through it!” 

“If you ever need to talk outside of the guys, just give me a call. Though I am back to other work, I’m still attached to you until further notice.” 

Sona had promised to visit more with Gem, joking about the puppy loving you more. You held that against her, giving Gem plenty of kisses and pets before the two left. 

Mingyu and Seokmin were absolutely disappointed they didn’t get to see Gem, having questioned why you were outside. You promised them you’d ask Sona to bring Gem back when they were all home again so they could play with her. 

You had been thinking about your job as well while sitting by yourself in the odd hours of the night. Tessa had suggested talking about it in the next session but you couldn’t help yourself. There were many things you needed to decide but this had been one decision to make on your own. 

You concluded at some point that going back to work for the government wouldn’t be possible, not that you fully loved the idea of being unemployed. You were too close to the underground that it wouldn’t be easy to explain a lot of things when coming back. Lying was fine, but that is a lot of lying to keep up with. You had figured that SVT would find something for you to do. Even the remote idea of doing nothing all day had you frowning deeply. 

You spent dinner on the couch, listening to the guys chat, adding a comment every so often. As you sat there, you had texted Mingyu if he could make a specific dish that you loved, which he eagerly texted you under the table that he would be more than happy to do that. Vernon and Seungkwan were tasked with dishes, one complaining while the other just got to work quietly to clean up the mess. 

After dinner, once the house had settled, you found Seungcheol in his room, peeking into his slightly ajar door to see him playing on his computer. You knocked against the wood, and he jumped, head whipping to look back.

“Hey, come in.” He beckoned you in, putting his headset around his neck. “What’s up?”

Pushing the door open, you slowly stepped in, glancing around the room, only illuminated by his computer screen. That wasn’t good for his eyes… “Am I interrupting something?” 

He shook his head, “Nah, I just lost a game of TFT. What's on your mind?”

You stared at him, seeing a curious smile on his face. He was…growing his hair out, fluffy curls starting to full frame his strong facial features. It swayed some when he tilted his head, waiting patiently for a response. 

“You’re growing out your hair.” 

Yep, real intelligent sounding… 

Seungcheol snickered, running a hand through his locks and ruffled his hair, the soft curls bouncing with each pass of his hand. “I mean, yeah…You said you liked it, right? Plus, I haven’t really had the time to get it done-” 

He paused, a hopefully gaze settling on yours. “You do still like it, right?” 

You nodded, pointing to the edge of the bed closest to him. “May I?” 

There was a goofy grin on his face, nodding. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead, don’t mind all my blankets tossed around.” 

Sitting down, he turned his chair to fully face you, setting his headset down to focus on you. “Do you need something?” 

“I need to talk to you about my job if you don’t mind.” 

Cheol nodded, scooting his chair a little closer, but enough space between you. “Minghao said he talked to you, but I wanted to give you some time to think about it before bringing it up again.” 

You ran a hand over your face, going over all the information Minghao had given you. You hadn’t had a chance to speak to Seokmin, each time you thought you had a moment, he was busy, you were asleep, or he was asleep. 

“I’m going to email my boss above Seokmin and resign effective immediately, or I’ll try to. I’ll make up some lie as a reason as to why and go from there.” You sighed, watching him nod silently as you spoke. “But I know that I can’t…do nothing all day, Cheol.” 

“Mouse-” He had a look of apprehension in his eyes, but you stopped him. 

“Please don’t tell me you can take care of me and everything. I need to do something and work for my own money-”

“No, Mouse, stop for a moment, please-” Seungcheol put both his hands up to stop you, furrowing his brows. “If you let me talk, I would have told you that wouldn’t be a problem, but you're not going to be doing anything work wise until you can do more. You just left the house but you haven’t left the property, you are barely sleeping, and we can’t even get close to you. Your first job from me is for you to get better. I will provide anything and everything you need until you are comfortable and stable.” 

“Oh…” Your shoulders slumped, face twisting with displeasure. “I’m sorry.” 

“Mouse, I would give you the world if you let me, I only need you to get better first before there is another step forward.” His tone was genuine and his gaze…Seungcheol looked at you similar to how Jeonghan and Joshua looked at you. A spark was still there, glimmering with each flick as he eyed you from head to toe.

“I’m sorry all this happened and-”

As if he could read your mind, Seungcheol stopped you once more, shaking his head. “Mo…I’d wait a thousand years for you. Please don’t pressure yourself to do anything just because you know my intentions and feelings.” 

You had been sitting on his words since that night. ‘Stewing in it’ as Sona commented when she came back a few days later for a walk around the property. It was after your therapy session early in the week, where you were supposed to talk about your job but you ended up talking about ways to start acclimating again to the outside work and people, mainly wanting to be close to those you love again. You did, however, get to see Seokmin and Mingyu play with Gem. It was entertaining to see two very large men play-fight with a very small puppy. Cheol did end up joining again when hearing the commotion, love the time he got to cuddle her when she started to settle down. 

Deep into Wednesday night, you hear Wonwoo up late, finding him trying to cook ramen half asleep. Unintentionally, you spooked him and he almost dropped the chopsticks in hand when he turned to see you sitting silently at the kitchen island. He asked why you were awake, you countered with the same question, he didn’t answer, neither had you. 

You did have a question floating around in your head…So you had decided to go for it, even if you didn’t like the answer.

“Wonu, where did you find me?”  

Wonwoo had really tried to not answer the question. He attempted to ignore it, muttering something about you not needing to know. You pestered him as he raised his dishes, a pout on your face the entire time. You followed him to Pandora, watching him sit on the couch to continue a game, purposefully ignoring you. 

You did threaten to break into his computer, sitting down at his desk. He glared at you, not believing you were serious. 

And he watched you easily log into his computer with some back action hacking, wide eyed with disbelief. He bitched about you getting in so easily and needing to fix it, which you offered to do if he told you where you were found. 

Were you obnoxious at the time? Definitely, but you wanted an answer so you could piece some things together from that day. 

Wonwoo stared at you with a furrowed brow, taking a while before relenting. 

“Ruby, we found you at Ruby.”

You frowned, not remembering at all where you were moved from to end up in Ruby. All you could remember was Monsta X talking about messing with cameras and moving you, so it made some sense. 

“How-” 

“Mx-” You cringed at the word but stayed mostly calm. “They shut down ours, ATZ’s, DC’s, and probably the other security systems. Ours took the longest to turn on, but…” Wonwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “A message showed up first, saying we should have kept a closer eye on you before the cameras for Ruby turned on.” 

You swallowed thickly. “You have the recording…” 

He gave a nod, averting your eyes like he was guilty. You didn’t like that…

Drumming your fingers against your legs in thought, you took a deep breath in, making a choice he will hate. 

“Show me it, please.” 

“Mouse…” 

“Wonwoo, I need to see it. Please show it to me, you can look away or something but I need to.” 

He warily stood, letting you move over so he could pull the video up, motioning for you to grab the headset. You pulled yourself close to his desk, getting comfortable, hand hovering over the spacebar to play the recording. Wonwoo stepped away, leaning against the back of the couch. 

Pressing play, the video came to life, all the camera’s for Ruby focused on where you laid near lifeless on the floor. There was a ribbon tied intricately around you, bow resting just around your chest. With the cameras not zoomed in, you couldn’t tell if you were breathing and you seemed unable to move from the glaring red restraints.

It took some time before someone ran into the building. You had sat in silence as the minutes rolled in, jumping as you heard the door slam open. Jihoon and Soonyoung bursted through the door, rushing to your body, yelling out. 

“Mouse!” Jihoon yelled, starting to pull at the ribbon to get it off, taking in the state of your body. When his pulling didn’t work, Soonyoung pulled out a pocket knife and slashed it to pieces, taking it aside. “Get me the first aid kit upstairs-” 

Soonyoung ran off to fetch the mentioned idea. Jihoon started to shake your shoulder, stripping off his jacket to cover you. “Fuck, you are freezing.” 

He tried to wake you up, gently tapping your face on that side that wasn’t horrible bruised and cut. When that didn’t work, he groaned, pulling you into his lap to cradle you. Your arms fell lifelessly at your sides and he tucked them under the jacket. Jihoon was muttering something you couldn’t hear on the camera mics, tenderly brushing the hair from your face, making sure his jacket covered your upper half almost entirely thanks to the larger item of clothing. 

When Wonwoo, Seokmin, Siyeon and Yeosang rushed in, Jihoon held you possessively, protectively. You watched as Soonyoung entered the frame but your eyes focused on Wonwoo frozen in place while Seokmin cried, kneeling down beside you. 

“She isn’t waking up.” Jihoon lifted the jacket, eyeing your body, frowning. “Guys, we can’t let Cheol, Han, or Joshua see this yet.” 

“Why-” Wonwoo stood there as Jihoon moved the jacket to let him see the damage. Silence followed, assuming they were taking in the catastrophe that was your state of being at the time. You took note of Wonwoo clenching his fists tightly at his sides, shoulders tense.

“We’ll have Seonghwa look at her first.” Yeosang got close, taking his longer jacket off to drape over you. “Save her some dignity and their sanity. I’ll talk to him.” 

You saw Hongjoong and Seonghwa enter in first with Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Joshua following quickly behind. Wonwoo joined Soonyoung and Siyeon in holding your significant others and the leader back. Jihoon said they need space to check her out. Joshua was being bear hugged by Wonwoo, Jeonghan sobbed into Siyeon’s shoulder, pleading to get close to you. Seungcheol was being grabbed by Soonyoung. Seonghwa got close to you and Jihoon, sighing heavily, gently taking your head. 

“Thank god she is breathing.” Yeosang joined the other man at your side. “But her pulse is weak. She could be unconscious from shock, exhaustion, or even both. Probably dehydrated as hell.” 

Yeosang leaned towards Seonghwa, whispering something, causing the latter to look back towards the leaders before looking towards Jihoon. He moved Yeosang’s jacket to show Seonghwa, both leaning in to examine you.

More bodies flooded in, gasps of shock and low, unintelligible murmurs caught on the camera. Jongho was held back by Wooyoung and San, each having a hand on his shoulders. Gahyeon appeared, tears in her eyes as she leaned into Yubin who rubbed her back soothingly. They all looked so sad, almost like they were mourning you, not knowing if you were going to wake up. 

“I need to get her to the clinic. She’ll probably need some x-rays and I have a machine there.” Protests came from your group, but Seonghwa shot them down as he stood up. “Hey, you know we are the only ones with the equipment to handle this. Once we have her checked out, cleaned up, and in a proper bed, everyone can visit. You have to give me time though.” 

“I’ll come along.” Jihoon continued to hold you, unmoving, shielding you with the jacket once more. 

“What aren’t you telling us?” Seungcheol directed his gaze to Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo let Joshua go enough to respond, but his hand was still tight on the other man’s arm. “I’ll explain but don’t push this anymore. Let them take her and get treated.” 

You felt sick at Jeonghan’s broken tone, asking if it was that bad. Seonghwa spoke to Hongjoong to get you up and out of there. He, with help from Yeosang and Jihoon, lifted you up, carrying you out of the building. Jeonghan latched onto Joshua and Seungcheol, crying out your name as he tried to follow, only to be stopped by Seokmin, holding him tightly. 

Jihoon made a comment that he would call, pressing them to clean up, eat, and maybe collect themselves. A deafening silence bathed the room, eyes trailing behind you in your exit. No one knew what to say, some people opening and closing their mouths, unsure. 

“Explain, now.” The sharp venom from Seungcheol had Wonwoo’s once tense shoulders dropping in defeat, head following. 

Bodies moved about, getting chairs off the tables and stools off the bar counter, filling in any spot, leaving some to stand. Wonwoo spoke in hushed tones to Seokmin and Siyeon, waiting for everyone to settle. Your eyes scanned over your friends, the turmoil littering their expressions and postures, tears falling down their faces. Jeonghan was shaking in Seungkwan and Minyu’s arms. Joshua’s shoulders were held tightly by Minghao. And Seungcheol…His head was in his hands, elbows on his thighs. His shoulders shook and Minji, along with Chris, stood at his side, hands resting reassuringly on his shoulders.

99 line huddled around each other in one of the larger tables, joined by Jongho hiding behind their bodies, back pressed against the wall. 

All eyes slowly ended up on Wonwoo as he broke from the other two, pushing his glasses up and rubbing his face. 

“I’ll start from what happened first and just…” He trained off, shoulders dropping low. “Siyeon, Yeosang, Seokmin, and I were in the warehouse when all of our systems went out. No comms, no eyes, nothing. We tried to get things back up but all we could do was wait for things to start again. As things began to come online there was nothing out of the ordinary until…until the camera started to turn on.” 

Wonwoo took a moment for the information to set in, watching the leaders tense with concern that their systems could have been breached. 

“A message popped up, telling us, SVT, that we should have kept a closer eye on her before all the cameras came back online and she…” Wonwoo pushed out a heavy breath, pushing his hair back. You swore you could see tears in his eyes and he motioned towards the torn up ribbon. “She was tied up with that. We left the warehouse but Jihoon and Soonyoung got here first.” 

“How bad, Wonwoo?” Jongho asked, voice barely registering on the mic. 

“She has…” His words caught in his throat, trying to clear it so he could continue on. “She has rope burns and cuts on her wrists, her sides were black and blue. I think she had, like, burns on her sides, not really sure about that. Her face is bruised, you guys saw the cut on her cheek. There was a long one from probably her collar to her stomach, I’m guessing they cut her shirt off based on that. The biggest wound was a brand on her chest. An ‘X’ specifically.” 

Seungcheol’s head shot up, a pensive glare in his eyes. He seemed to make eye contact with Joshua and Jeonghan’s head raised as well. You remembered Wonwoo’s voice from your unconscious state, his acknowledgement of Minghao’s question ‘How sure are you that it was them?’ He said he had a hunch and seeing this now…it made more sense when he asked you not that long ago. 

You paused the video, staring blankly at the screen, processing the information. Wonwoo looked antsy when you turned towards him, seeing him picking at the skin around his nails. When he noticed your eyes on him, he pushed his glasses up, sitting a little straighter but kept quiet.

“Thanks.” Was all you could come up with at the time, taking the headphones off. “I needed that.” 

“You okay?” 

Your head bounced in a nod, not anxious but perturbed by the event inwardly. Maybe angry… “Yeah, probably. It helped me understand some things, see some of your perspectives.” 

“Just so you know, I haven’t told anyone like you asked.”

You let out a breathy laugh, standing up. “Hopefully you don’t need to keep my secret much longer, Wonu.” 

Part of you was glad you had therapy the day after watching the video. You had left Wonwoo with an apology ( ‘What are you apologizing for? I knew this would happen.’ ) and went to bed to fully process the entirety of what you watched. 

It felt odd how calm you were, staring absently up at the ceiling. While in the moment your chest was tight, taking in every detail you could to see how your retrieval panned out. However, as you had laid in bed, you thought back to your mostly positive memories surrounding Ruby. The fun you had dancing, the drinks Jihoon mixed up to let you loosen up, and the…small realization that you liked Joshua. You didn’t remember being there, you didn’t hold any fear of being found there. 

Tessa was very receptive to your watching of the video when explaining it. She had asked how you felt while watching it, humming in an upbeat way when going on about being relatively okay with it. You realized you were more mad that the space of Ruby was more upsetting to your friends than you. You didn’t have a single memory of those moments. 

She was kind in her understanding, letting you vent whatever frustration you had. It took a moment for you to bring up that you could hear them while semi-conscious in the clinic. Tessa seemed surprising, letting you know that she hadn’t dealt with a patient that had an experience as fuck. You were more than willing to recap your listening in from your recuperation, helping her understand a lot more of your situation. 

It took longer to get out any information about your… family reunion. That had to start the other conversation about your family, giving an insightful but quick rundown on your early tragedies, and your unwatched meeting with your grandma and parents in limbo. 

There had been a metaphorical weight lifted off your shoulders, getting the internal conflict of your family out in the open. Saying, out loud, for the first time that you had forgiven them was necessary and so absolutely healing. 

“What are your plans for the weekend then, Mouse? Any ideas?” Tessa spoke calmly, bringing the session to a close.

You tilted your head side to side, thinking what you could do or try to do. “I think…I might try and spend some time getting close to the guys while they are awake. I feel confident, ready even. I have another check up on Monday with my…doctor? Kinda- So I…I want to travel to see him in the city.”

“Alright, I think these are both obtainable goals. Remember that pacing yourself is key and not pushing your personal boundaries too quickly. I’ll see you again on Tuesday. Mouse, have a good and productive weekend.” 

“I’ll try, thanks, I’ll see you next week.” 

Signing off, you had two things in mind for the early afternoon, a walk and figuring out your first target. You peered upstairs, finding Seungkwan in the living room, watching some volleyball clips on his phone. 

He had been staying home with you the last two days, seeing as he won a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors against Jihoon and Mingyu. He was happy sitting on the couch, watching something on the TV with you in the room, asking if you needed anything, wanting anything to be more specific. Though he wasn’t the best cook, he had helped you prepare ingredients for a meal for everyone the previous day, the chicken bake Jihoon had liked, making a spicy and mild version. 

“You are staring at the back of my head, Mouse.” Seungkwan spoke up, pausing his video and turning to look back at you. “Do you need something?”

“Can we go for a walk?” 

He was ready rather quickly, bundled for the cold, an extra scarf in hand for you, along with water bottles stuffed in his jacket pockets. Seungkwan made sure you were comfortable, helping grab anything before slipping outside. The chill was harsh, a shock of cold shooting down your spine. Seungkwan wasn’t any better, running in place with high knees to stretch and warm up. 

You walked together for a long while, listening to him talk on and on, bantering comfortably. Seungkwan had a way of getting under your skin in a good way, like a sibling you actually enjoyed the company of. He set a mood to keep you smiling and laughing. You hadn’t realized how long the both of you had been walking the property until Vernon sauntered through the short grass, the usual bounce in his step. He was out in the city that day so you were a little confused to see him until he explained it was almost five in the evening. It had gotten dark.

Both you and Seungkwan were thrown off, hitting the realization that you promised to make dinner and nothing was ready whatsoever. That led to a scramble of hurrying back inside, hunting for ingredients to make something simple. 

Which ended up being a couple pans of homemade mac and cheese, a few bags of chicken tenders you found in the freezer, and Vernon taking one trip to the closest food store for stuff to make a shit ton of garlic bread. 

Toddler Night as you called it.  

Then…the idea came to mind as everyone was coming home and getting ready for dinner. 

And that was another thing…Almost every single night, everyone was coming home for dinner, no matter what they were doing or where they were. Every single night, you would find them all home at some point, sitting about, watching you. You knew they were watching you, observing to be a better word. You didn’t think they knew that you noticed the constant lingering of their gaze, their troubled expressions.

“Thanks for the food, Mouse.” Jihoon hummed, a plate of food steaming in front of him. 

Other sweet sentiments echoed from everyone, leaving you to grab your plate full of food, ready to figure out what your next move was. 

Couch or table…Your spot had always been left open, set and ready for you to occupy the space when you were up for it. You tried a few nights prior but chickened out before you got close and ended up on the couch until now. 

Then, Seungcheol moved, standing from his usual spot at the head of the table, with plenty of room on either side of him, to your smaller space between Jeonghan and Seokmin. There was a sound of confusion from the two at his sides, but he said nothing, sitting down silently but his eyes fixated on you, then glanced at his spot, then back at you. 

Swallowing down your nerves, you carefully shuffled your socked feet towards his seat, staring momentarily. Your eyes flicked down the table, seeing the side eyes and heads down, trying to hide their watchful looks. 

But you took the leap and sat down, adjusting the collar of your (you stole it from Soonyoung) sweatshirt, the anxious itch settling right on the brand as it always did. Your heart thumped rapidly, but you bit back your fight or flight, feeling accomplished, maybe even a little fearless. Happy.

If anyone had a comment, they kept their mouths shut, only talking casually when Jun broke the silence with a joke he saw online earlier. You criss-crossed your legs up on the chair, keeping your limbs close, but it was a positive step, chiming in quietly when something you wanted to comment on came up or if someone was talking to you directly. 

Joshua and Jeonghan were practically giddy, but kept their excitement under control. Their goofy, cute smiles were more than enough to settle your heart and get you to relax. They didn’t lean in too close, but they were beaming when you spoke to them, asking how their days were, each studying you in their own way. 

Seungcheol…He was trying to hide his tiny grin, lips twitching up each time his eyes met yours. At some point you did mouth a thank you to him, only for him to wink and shrug at you (which totally didn’t make you blush, nope, not at all) (Jeonghan was giggling at you when you ducked your head).

You had sat in Seungcheol’s seat the next night, that Friday, seeing he already took your spot, leaving you at the head of the table. After dinner, you tried to confront him about it, saying you could sit in your seat, but he snickered at you, calling you cute then went off to play video games with Mingyu and Wonwoo in Pandora. And you were left stunned in the hallway, flustered and blushing. 

Bastard… 

But, you focused on your next objective, and had to be smart. You didn’t want to risk a panic attack.

Jeonghan had been lounging on one couch, watching the drama fixation that Vernon, Seokmin, Chan, and Seungkwan were invested in on the other couch. The other four were bitching about the main character while Jeonghan chuckled to himself at the banter. They were in deep, like four episodes in, and you were going to strike. 

You grabbed two blankets from your (Jeonghan’s) room, the big one he always had on his bed that you’d been using, the fluffy one that Joshua liked that you took from your apartment, and a pillow, dragging them all the way back into the living room, passing Minghao on the way.  

“Living room nap time?” He snorted, raising a brow. 

“Hmm…Something like that, Hao.” You waved him off the best you could, continuing towards the couch Jeonghan occupied. 

Seokmin waved happily when he noted your entrance, the loveseat left open if you wanted to sit there, where you almost always did since spending time out here. 

You had other ideas though. 

And you needed to do things in a particular way. 

Dropping the pillow when you rounded the couch, you caught Jeonghan’s curious gaze, eyebrow raised, smile on his face, but he didn’t move, not wanting to spook you. You started to unravel the big blanket and toss it over him, covering him from the neck down. He continued to raise his brow and get comfortable, tucking it into himself. You tossed the pillow against him, closer to his side that rested against the back of the couch than the free edge, and grabbed the second blanket, curling it around yourself. 

And you managed to tuck yourself into his side, resting your head on the pillow, separated but close, which was a big step, and more comfortable at the moment that you had at least a barrier between you as you got used to it. You could feel Jeonghan stiffen up, clearing his throat a second later and relaxed, shifting to get in a better position to have you at his side. 

He moved an arm out from under you slowly, not wanting to disturb you, resting it behind his head. 

Neither of you said anything about your new found courage, aside from you asking what was happening in the drama since you weren’t there for the first few episodes. Jeonghan whispered the recap so far, who was who, what their plot has been going towards, and his own opinions of course. 

You stayed there for a good number of episodes, soaking up in the closeness to your first significant other. Jeonghan didn’t try to do anything to push your harsh set boundary thankfully. He did ask you to shift a little since his leg was going numb but other than that, he kept the blanket between you, didn’t voice a single complaint, and nuzzled close to your body. 

He didn’t want you to leave when the four called it a night, but there wasn’t enough room for you both to comfortably fall asleep and Jeonghan wouldn’t catch a wink of sleep if you stayed in the living room. 

So…you ended up compromising. Jeonghan could sleep in bed with you, but only if there was a blanket between you both and a pillow because you were still a little nervous. Mainly nervous about arms wrapping around you, which Jeonghan liked to do when cuddling to sleep.

“Are you ready to go?” Sona came to pick you up to bring you to the city. She promised hot coffee and a pastry that she was going to pick up from what her texts said.

The idea was for you to go to the city, see Seonghwa, get more things from your apartment, meet Seokmin for lunch somewhere, then head back home. 

That was the plan. That is what you wanted to do, but all of that could change quite quickly depending on what happens. You would be happy being able to get to your apartment before you got tired, though…a nap did sound like it could have fit into that plan. 

“You have the deer in headlights look on your face.” She raised a brow, sliding her hand into her pockets. 

You quickly schooled your expression, continuing to pull on your jacket and shoes, making sure you had everything you might need stuffed into your backpack; your noise canceling headphones, a sandwich in case you couldn’t eat much a lunch, and Wonwoo’s switch (which you totally didn’t steal) in case you needed entertainment. 

“There is a lot on my mind.” You answered weakly, going to put the bag on before Sona basically snatched it from you. “Hey-” 

“We have about an hour-thirty until you need to see Seonghwa, we will take it slow into the city, stop if needed.” She opened the door, stepping out, waiting for you to join. “And the moment we are almost in the city, we’ll have two teams with us. They will be with us until we leave the city. Also-” 

Sona turned to you and pulled her jacket open, two holstered pistols strapped to her sides. “I think we will be well covered for the day. I have another in the car in case you’d be more comfortable carrying as well.” 

The thought was appealing, previously you had not thought about the idea of bringing a gun with you until now. 

“Is it bad that I want to say yes?” Stepping out and closing the door behind you, you followed to the car. “They taught me how to shoot so I’m not worried I’d hurt myself, but maybe I’ll feel more comfortable going around the city.”

“No problem.” She placed your bag in the back, reaching to grab a small black crate that was wedged under the seat. “Come here.” 

As she motioned you over, she had you slip your jacket off, grabbing a simple hip holster from the box and helped secure it on. You messed with the placement on your dominant side before finding a good spot and she pulled the hospital out. Sona showed you the safety, a simple thumb switch, and let you hold it, letting you examine the weapon first. Once you were acquainted, it was placed in its holder and your jacket was black on, hiding it well. 

Unlike the last time you rode in her car, you sat upfront with Sona, listening to the idle chatter she was making. You anxiously breathed through every mile closer to the city. Sona had offered you the coffee, which you accepted, but the pastry was left untouched, a little sick to the stomach. 

To not spook you, Sona warned of the two other SUVs that were going to join your little convoy, seeing one get in front of you with a matching one behind to box you in. You asked if anyone knew aside from the guys and Seonghwa and she confessed it was almost entirely in person discussion with the three leaders to keep anything from being sabotaged.

As the bustling city streets came into view, a low hum of familiarity started to set in. You knew so many of the streets, the bodegas, and the hole-in-the-wall restaurants you tried here and there. You managed to pass your old building, not looking as rundown on the exterior as you last remembered it thanks to Seokmin. You even spotted the coffee shop on the corner that was business no matter the time of day, a place you liked to stop before work if you have extra time. 

Arriving at the clinic at a reasonable, daylight hour, you were still taken to the secluded back entrance. You waited on the Svt workers to exit the other cars before Sona let you out, kinda feeling like a celebrity rather than a shaken, previous hostage. But close enough, right?

You were surprised to see Jongho waiting inside, dressed down in some black jeans and a polo. He lit up upon seeing you, greeting you and Sona warmly. 

“Staff is cleaning a private room before I get you in there.” He explained, a smile on his lips. “How are you?”

“A lot better,” You could hear chatter of the open clinic, the voice mixing together in a jumbled blob. You were curious about the full extent of the clinic, but that might be another day. “Therapy helps. This is the first time I’m back in the city though so I’m still a little edgy right now.” 

“That’s normal, expected. I’m glad you are here though taking that step, that also means progress. Plus, I clocked the glock already.” He snickered, “Still barely on your phone?” 

You grimaced. Your phone had been your friend and enemy still, but you knew you had to start using it again properly. 

“One thing at a time, kid.” You teased and he chuckled. 

“Please use it before 99 line break down your doors.” 

“I’m surprised they haven’t already.” 

“Trust me, Hongjoong had to stop them.” 

A short woman dressed in a dark-ish yellow set of scrubs and bright pink hair exited one of the rooms and hurried over, motioning towards it. “All good for you, sir. I’ll let the Doc know she is in there.” 

Jongho thanked her with a curt nod, leading you over. 

“He’s running a little behind but get your jacket off and probably your sweater.” he waited by the door for a moment, hands in his pockets. “Oh, and you can take off the heart monitor too, I’ll need to get the data off of it so he can see it. I’ll step out.” 

Closing the door, Jongho left you to remove what was necessary, glad to have the sticky sensors off of your skin. The residue felt gross though, especially after you took off the bandages on your brand. 

You placed the gun on your hip under your jacket on the side chair, fixing your tank top as you cracked open the door to slip the device out. Jongho took it and asked you to sit tight for Seonghwa, unsure of when he will be done with the previous person. You trailed back towards the examination table, stopping as you spotted a mirror over the sink, staring at your features. 

Truthfully, you did look better, but you still had issues looking at yourself. The bruising on your face and neck were almost gone in your eyes, you swore you could see a vague yellow discoloration but you could also be seeing shit. Your cheek was slightly scarred from the knife cut, same with your stomach when your shirt was slashed off. Lifting your shirt, your sides were mostly healed, only a pink discoloration and a rough skin texture where you were electrocuted. 

Your branding was still ‘fresh’, which was unpleasant. It was still red and shiny, slimy even. Research led you down a rabbit hole and based on its little progress, it might take years to fully heal. The information wasn’t satisfying to learn but your options were limited to near none. Time would be your friend, a distant friend, maybe even an enemy. 

Sitting down, you waited for Seonghwa, glancing absently around the room. 

You were going to tell him everything that Monsta X did. He would be the first person outside of Tessa to know, then hopefully you’d tell the guys soon. 

Your leg bounced, staring now at the closed door, counting down from one hundred for the second time. You were trying to think of how to word everything, trying to guess Seonghwa’s reaction based on previous conversations. Your stomach was flipping and twisting. 

The click of the door had you tensing, but Seonghwa slipped in through the crack, dressed in black scrubs set and a simple jacket, tablet in hand. 

“Hey, great to actually see you here, not laying passed out in bed.” He beamed, quickly moving towards the sink to wash his hands then sitting on the small rolly chair. “How are you feeling? How’s therapy?” 

Sitting straight, you pushed out a sigh. “I’m okay, therapy is good. I’m…here so I’m taking that as a big plus.

“From where I'm sitting, you look a lot better. You look brighter, healthier. You’ve definitely been sleeping more. How is your eating?” He tapped about on the tablet in hand, reading something over.

“Better as well. I’ve been going back to cooking more so that’s something to help my appetite.”

“I just want to read over your heart monitor results real quick…” Seonghwa’s eyes scanned the screen, clicking his tongue quietly. “I’m gonna assure the spikes are from external stimuli rather than issues with your heart so we can trash it. Let me get a look at you-” 

“Actually-” You stopped him, clearing your throat. “Can we talk first?” 

A puzzled expression crossed his face, eyebrows furrowing together. “Talk? Of course, what’s on your mind?” 

Sucking in a breath, your stomach churned and hands gripped tightly on the edge of the examination table. 

“I’d like to talk about what happened to me, fully.” 

The realization was stark in his eyes as he placed the tablet aside, asking for a moment. Seonghwa peeked his head out the door, whispering something before he came back and sat down, giving you the floor to speak. 

Looking down at the discolored scars on your wrists, you decided to start there. “I was tied to a chair with rope. They hit me and one of them cut my cheek, dragging it slowly… They drenched me in freezing cold water too. They hung me from my wrists by a hook and cut my shirt, which cut my stomach.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes darkened, a look you’ve never seen before but you continued. 

“I told you about the wet sponges and jumper cables. I was beaten while hanging there, punched and kicked, and one of them strangled me then they locked me in a metal box.” A harsh shock went down your spine at the memory. “They beat the box with metal I think- The sound was,” You shivered, the sound echoing in your head. 

“The box got tossed in water and I guess…I kinda drowned? I dunno, but they took me out and tied me to the chair again. They held me down and branded me. And I already told you about the epi before I passed out…” 

You spoke quickly, needing to get it all out before you could talk yourself out of it. Seonghwa took in a deep breath, closing his eyes in the silence you let lie. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Mouse.” When he opened his eyes, they were soft, sad even, and he sighed through his nose. “But thank you for trusting me to tell you all that. I can only imagine the courage it took to tell me.”

“Aside from my therapist, you are the first. She suggested starting with one and if I do okay, to tell the guys.” 

“Well, how do you feel?” 

“Like lunch might suck.” 

You managed to share a lighthearted laugh, glad he could take your jokes despite the heavy information you dumped on him. 

“Let me get a look at everything and I can get you out of here.” He washed his hands once more, stopping before you, a silent question of if he could get closer. 

In the end, you allowed him to get closer, which surprised Seonghwa, but he started his exam. 

Everything was healing properly from what he explained. Your ribs, though painful at times, were on the mends, you would just need to be careful. He didn’t want any strenuous movement until those fully healed, maybe in another two weeks he guessed. As for the brand, no infection, it was healing slowly but well. You only needed to continue to keep it clean, dry, and continue with the regiment he gave you. 

“Two weeks and I want you back here to get an x-ray of your torso then we can probably communicate via text for the burn care stuff. There won’t be much change…I’ll give you more of the bandages and such too.” 

Mockingly, you saluted him, but he smiled, gave you a heartfelt goodbye after grabbing some bandages to put over your chest, and stepped out to speak with Jongho. You got everything covered, placing your sweater and jacket on. The holster was easy by yourself, gun secured and heavy on your hip. The affirmation man entered with a knock. 

“Sona is with a nurse grabbing everything you need.” Jongho started, “Don’t be a stranger, okay? I like having a pseudo sister around.” 

“Promise.” You chuckled, strolling over and placing a hand on his shoulder, a test of your recovery. “But you can also come around too, kid.” 

He looked relieved at the contact, grinning. “I’ll try, Mouse. I’ll see you around.”

Sona hustled you into your apartment upon arrival to the building. She explained that while you were gone, she kept it clean of dust so it was easy to handle upon return. She left to check on Gem, promising to bring the little potato from a walk, leaving you to pack. 

You slowly walked around your space, thinking of what you needed, but soaking in the freeing silence. It had been a while since you had full peace, no one anxiously waiting around on you, no one asking if you needed anything or if you were okay. Not that you truly minded, it was simply nice to have some form of independence and solace. You missed laying in silence and not having someone to bother you at times. 

But you were still happy to have anyone around you. 

You set out to your room, getting a bigger bag to store more clothes to bring home, tired from the same shirts and pants. You wanted to be able to get dressed and feel put together, so you got most of your pants and as many high neck shirts as you could. It would give you many more options.  

This trip home also let you grab a bunch more of your toiletries but soon you realized you needed to buy more. You also needed your laptop, having put off resigning long enough. It needed to get done…There was no other option or time to wait. You promised yourself the next day. 

The clicking, pitter-patter of nails on the floor caught your attention, then a small yip of a very familiar corgi puppy was heard. 

“You gotta find her!” Sona spoke softly, almost baby-like to Gem, and you smiled wide, moving to your bedroom door. 

You saw Gem spin around in a circle, jumping up at Sona before the woman pointed and the puppy turned her head down the hall. As fast as her nub legs could carry her, Gem sprinted at you, only to stumble and roll over herself. You rushed to her, gasping at the tumble but she quickly righted herself, shaking off the fall and continued on jumping into your arms, licking your face. 

“Hi, hello-” You held her close, letting her leave doggy kisses all over your face. “Yes, hello little one.” 

She wiggled her stout body into your arms as you stood, happy to have all the attention on her. 

“Do you need help with anything?” Sona questioned, walking over and peering into your room. “We still have some time before lunch with Seokmin, if you still want to of course.” 

That you did, but you also had some other plans in mind for the day now. You were lucky to not be tired, enough energy to get some things done. 

“Sona, I need some help setting something up.” 

Sona hummed, tilting her head to the side curiously. “Yeah?” 

“I need to make dinner reservations for fourteen tonight.” 

And that led to a lot more questions from your friend. 

It wasn’t a question of where to set up the reservations, but more of why. Sona could easily secure a place but she probably could see cogs turning in your head. You tried to play it off cooling, just wanting dinner with everyone, yet Sona saw right through your lies. 

“Look, I need those heathens fed before I ask them to sit at the warehouse and I spill my guts to them, okay?”

“Oh.” Sona stopped in her tracks. “Oh .” 

Gem yipped happily when you placed her down, going off to smell different things around your home. 

Sighing, you sat on the edge of your bed, nodding. “Yeah, today is the day.” 

“And you are chill enough to do it?” 

“Yeah, probably. I’ll definitely overthink it until then, but I don’t think I can keep them in the dark any longer. It isn’t fair to them.” 

Sona pulled out her phone, sitting beside you, and for once, you didn’t flinch. “So, are you thinking Italian or Japanese?”

[New Group Chat Created] [Squad] {Mo 1:46PM} The Korean restaurant down on 3rd and Sun. 6:30pm. Whoever is late, pays.

“What?” Seungcheol frowned, sending back a small string of question marks. 

Jeonghan looked down at his phone, a scoff followed by a laugh left him. “I see she is in a good mood today I guess.”

[Squad] {Mo 1:47PM}  All of you.

“No shit.” Cheol said out loud, still frowning. “Did you hear anything about this? What do you think this is about?”

“If I had any idea, I would have said something but I guess since everyone is in their area, she wants to make sure we eat.”

“You wouldn’t have said shit.”

[Squad] {Wonu 1:48PM} Bet on Jun or Vernon {Mo 1:49PM}  Ohhh, good options.  See you then, boys. 

“She is in the city, right?” 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan closed the file in front of him and added it to the growing bank files beside him. “She saw Seonghwa, probably went to her place, said she was going to have lunch with Min, then go home. Guess her plans have changed since then.”

“Hm…okay.” 

“What are you worried about?” 

Cheol shook his head, placing his phone aside. “Nothing in particular. Just her first day back in public. I don’t want her to overdo it. I’ve been worried.” 

“Dude,” The other turned in his seat, eyeing him from his spot. “Please just ask my girlfriend out already, please.” 

“Han-” 

“Oh, wait, you are trying to be a gentleman and give her time to recover.” He faked a gag, rolling his eyes. 

“Why am I friends with you?” 

“Because you’d be bored without me.”

Vernon ended up being late with Seungkwan, no shocker there. Though you weren’t going to make them pay, your card was already held for the payment. They didn’t need to know that though. Seokmin had picked you up on his way from work, packing your stuff into the car so Sona didn’t need to drive back and forth. 

The guys looked happy though, sitting around the long table, drinks already passed out and food on the way. You needed them to stay as happy as possible until after your little meeting call. It was probably the only way you’d stop them from hunting Monsta X right now. And maybe you asking them not to right away.

You sat at the head of the table, Jeonghan on one side and Seokmin on the other. Joshua had shown up after them, sitting on the other side of Min, a bit grumpy that Seokmin wouldn’t switch seats with him. Seungcheol was on the other side of Jeonghan, half way through one beer, talking across the table to Seungkwan. 

Down the table, Soonyoung called out your name, raising an eyebrow. “What’s the occasion?” 

You lifted your drink to your lips, a long sip to calm your jerk reaction to tell the truth. “Can’t I have a nice dinner with my family, Soonyoung?”

He watched you from his seat, eyes scanning over your figure. He still had that quirked brow and a tilt of his head. 

Maybe he wasn’t buying your lie. You did answer a question with a question which was always suspicious. 

The large variety of food that was ordered soon made its way to the table. Loud voices spoke over one another as food was distributed onto each plate, asking for things or calling over a joke they remembered. Your plate was filled, not of your own actions, piece after piece placed by the two on either side of you. It took some pushing to get Jeonghan and Seokmin to stop, both complaining that you needed to eat a lot to get better. But…your plate was overflowing and someone else would need to finish half of it. 

There was an agreement for many of them not to drink too much. Most drove themselves to the restaurant so they didn’t have much of a choice. You kinda wished you drove your own car to avoid any awkwardness on the ride to the warehouse. It would make it a lot easier. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Jeonghan leaned over, tilting his head to the side. His voice was soft but warm, something sweet swirling in his eyes. 

Humming, you nodded, swallowing down the rice you shoveled into your mouth. “Yeah, I’m feeling good today.” Your stomach, surprisingly, wasn’t turning horribly. “You?”

“Mhmm.” He grinned brightly, resting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. “I’m feeling better than I was previously.” 

That you could see. 

Since you agreed to let him sleep near you, it had become a thing. Though, Jeonghan has to share, much to his displeasure. Friday, Jeonghan has his day with you, snuggling on the couch and sleeping in the same room. Saturday, Joshua found out and nearly threw a fit, huffing all morning until you did almost the same as the previous day, semi-separated and sleeping near each other. The only difference was that you got to play with his hair. Sunday, you managed to sit with both of them, you wrapped up in a blanket, but each pressed into your sides, hands to themselves, but soaking in the closeness. 

They did seem brighter, thankfully.

But…

Seungcheol looked a little pitiful. Maybe jealous, yet he didn’t say anything. Sometimes he loomed around the corner of the living room or huff around in the kitchen before sitting down away from the three of you. Pout was the best description. Kinda cute. 

As dinner quickly started to wind down, plates and cups empty, you had to say something to gather them to the warehouse. With your card already paying for the meal, you cleared your throat, standing. 

“Guys…” You met some of their eyes and you averted your gaze to somewhere on the table. “I- Fuck, okay, why is this hard?” 

You shook your arms out, grumbling to yourself. “We need to go to the warehouse. We- I need to talk and you all need to listen.” 

Lifting your eyes to take in their reactions, Wonwoo had his head down and the realization was seeping through their gazes. 

Vernon raised his hand. “Does this mean I’m still paying for dinner?” 

The ride was quiet. You ended up in the back of Mingyu’s car, riding with him and Wonwoo. The latter had his nose in his phone, sending a text asking if you were ready. All you went back was a set of three emojis; a middle finger, a water gun, and your new favorite, the melting face emoji. 

“No one bother us.” Seungcheol said to one of the men guarding the floor, you had seen him before, not sure where. 

With Seungcheol first, one after another the guys went up, leaving you at the back to collect your thoughts. Cracking your neck side to side, you hurried up the stairs, two at a time, and headed straight in. You B-lined for the one thing you saw the last time you were in the office; the whiskey decanter behind Cheol’s desk.

Everyone was getting settled as you poured yourself a heavy glass and drank it quickly, desperate for the liquid courage. Much like dinner had been recently, one head of the table was left free for you to sit, but you moved the chair away to stand, ready to pace sooner or later. 

“Two things before I start; please don’t interrupt me if you can help it, this is already going to suck,” You braced your hands on the table, “And none of you will rush into anything. You will not act quickly with emotions. You will not start any shit tonight. Do you agree?” 

A few were ready to protest but eventually nodded.

“When they took me and I woke up, I didn’t know where I was.” You shrugged off your jacket and discarded it on the chair. “When I first – no wait – when I came to for the second time apparently, I was tied to a chair. There was a fabric bag or something over my head. They tossed cold water on me and when the hood thing was removed, Kihyun was in my face.” 

Then tension was palpable, everyone was on high alert, posture stiff. Jeonghan’s hands were balled into fists, Joshua’s jaw was clenched, and Seungcheol’s eye was twitching. 

“Don’t know their names but the two – Nightmare and Joker – were the main ones I had to deal with. Kihyun…He told them not to kill me and that I was going to become a late Christmas gift for you guys. Nightmare started with just cutting my cheek,” You pointed to the scar, “But things quickly escalated.”

Gently you rubbed at your wrists under your sleeve, feeling the slightly raised scars that graced your skin. “They hung me from a hook where I could barely touch the floor with my feet and as they questioned me, they used wet sponges and jumper cables to electrocute me. I didn’t say anything to them, but,” You ran a hand over your face and moved to lean against Cheol’s desk. 

“They didn’t like that I wasn’t answering to being electrocuted so for a while they left and came back to use me as a punching bag.” You looked back and picked up a pen and twirled it between your fingers.

“They knew about my parents being dead from an OD. That…wasn’t what bothered me though… Joker knew about me sneaking into the warehouse by Ruby when I first saw you guys.” 

“What?!” Seokmin looked utterly confused but Chan had him keep quiet. 

You swallowed thickly, downcasting your eyes to the floor as you sighed. “The night…Mingyu got shot. Monsta X was the one to call the order.” 

That caused an uproar from the youngest of the group, outrage shouted before Joshua’s stern call out of ‘Enough!’ had them settling down in their fumes. 

“I’m not gonna lie, I lost it a little bit and broke his nose.” That gained no reaction, pity. “But Joker - He strangled me until I almost passed out. Directly after they locked me in a metal crate and beat the shit out of it with me in there. I did end up passing out I think, kinda hard to tell when you’re disassociating hard. Things moved really quickly after.” 

You took a breath, taking a moment to see the harsh lines gracing their faces; fury, despair, you think you saw something close to shame on Seungcheol’s face.

“I almost drowned, they basically threw the box in water and I honestly thought I was gone, that, in that moment, that was it.” Your eyes started to go unfocused, remembering the freezing chill that stung to your bones. “I apologized to some higher being that I wasn’t strong enough.” 

There was a loud bang, which you came to find out was the side of Seungcheol’s fist against the table, and it jolted you from your distant state. His face went from shame to worry but you shook your head, drumming the pen against the desk. 

Clearing your throat, you continued on. 

“Almost all of Monsta X held me down so they could brand me. Sometimes…I still feel their hands, it’s why I’m still a little jumpy and uncomfortable with people touching me, but I’ve definitely gotten better.” Your head was starting to hurt. 

“I…” Leaning your head back, you stared at the ceiling for a moment. “I asked them to kill me. Kihyun – or maybe all of them really – don’t- didn’t want me, they want you. They wanted to use me to get to you. They said you got close twice to finding me, they know you called Rheia , they were the ones who shut the system down, everything. Before they moved me to Ruby, they pushed a high dose of epi and I’m ninety-nine percent sure I did die, well, I am sure my heart stopped.” 

“Anyways” You clapped your hands together, “Thanks for coming to my TED talk.”

“Mouse, what the fuck?” Minghao’s voice broke the silence, caught off guard. 

“What? All of you can trauma dump at some point but I make a joke to cope and suddenly I’m the bad guy?” You crossed your arms, a smirk creeping on your lips. “I’m okay, by the way.”  

“That isn’t- You know what, nevermind.” Minghao sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Cool,” You stepped towards the decanter once more, pouring half of what your previous glass was and downed it. “Any questions?” 

Seokmin threw his hands up, exasperated. “I need a fucking drink. Bad.”

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[wooahaeruby]

Doing a decent bit of writing and I remember this mug i had for DND.

Tears of my players? Nah...tears of my readers 🖤

[wooahaeruby]

My fav the woozi angle

[wooahaeruby]

wonwoo holding so many hot packs, wonwoo singing candy, wonwoo surprising with leftover performance, wonwoo announcing his prepared song for his late mother, wonwoo getting piggyback from mingyu, wonwoo receiving hugs and headpats from everyone, wonwoo running here and there, wonwoo being loved, wonwoo being lively, wonwoo being happy, wonwoo being beautiful, wonwoo bidding goodbye. wonwoo wonwoo wonwoo wonwoo wonwoo wonwoo wonwoo

[wooahaeruby]

I came across your account yesterday when a blog I follow reposted the latest bit from the jihoon soulmate series and omg!! your writing is everything!! I binge read every chapter of that series yesterday and was amazed and mindblown at how well it was written and how accurate the members and their agency seemed! I absolutely love your writing and I'm looking forward to the next soulmate stories for the other members (and hopefully more bits of jihoon and ruby bc oml their relationship is EVERYTHING)! keep up the great work dude, all of your works that I've read so far have been absolutely amazing!!!

Hi hi!!

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love writing little bits for Ruby and Jihoon so much, my editor and I have so many little ideas but I've been working on my other story, Blood Stained Hands, right now. I'm hoping once I finish BSH and continue writing the next Soulmate installments that there will be more extras for both stories!

❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤

[wooahaeruby]

girl BSH is so GOOOD OMG 🙂‍↕️🙏

Hiiii, I'm glad to hear you like it! I still have so much writing to do 😪😪😪 the grind never stops!!

[wooahaeruby]

To You Extras

Author's Notes

Hi there! @pinkskiddo (my lovely editor) and I have always joked about sickfics and such, and today I decided to do that! I hope you enjoy <3

To You Masterlist | Main Masterlist

In Sickness and In Health

Jihoon refused to let you take a look at him properly that morning. And he refused to give you any type of kiss.

He went off to Hybe to work on some music with Bumzu and Seungcheol, something about a new comeback. They had plenty of time but he had some ideas- but you stopped listening when you noticed the slight flush to his cheeks that he waved off as he went out the door. 

You could feel the slowly creeping exhaustion through the bond halfway through your workday at home, typing up some translations for your company. Maybe it was from the tour high come down, maybe it was the cold weather and how much he was working, but you knew exactly what was happening, even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

Jihoon was getting sick and you’ve never seen him sick before outside of a sore throat on tour.

You grabbed your phone beside your keyboard, sitting back to take a moment to text him 

[To Hoonie 12:26PM] I know what you are hiding

There was a good chance that he wasn’t going to reply soon depending on how consumed he was in his work, which was likely. Once Jihoon texted you back three hours after you asked what he wanted for dinner, only to tell him he was shit out of luck and you ordered take out. He showed up with more food and dessert from a cafe down the street that you loved. You accepted the not-apology apology. 

You returned back to your work, continuing to feel that run down tiredness course throughout your body as if the feeling was your own. While it wasn’t hindering, your brain was telling you that you were tired, and you definitely should take a nap, which you couldn't do with the work you wanted to get done. You still have four and a half hours of work to go. 

An hour passed, then another, and another of nothing heard back from your soulmate, so you switched to the next best options.

[To CheoCheo 3:35PM]  Two things  Where is my soulmate? And can you tell he is sick? 

You were so happy that Cheol had a sense of touching grass when he replied back a minute later. 

[CheoCheo 3:36PM]  Two answers He said he was going to work on his own for a bit so Bumzu and I left. I peeked in a few minutes ago and he passed out on the couch.  He is definitely sick 

You groaned, leaning your head back to your chair, rolling your eyes back.  

Glancing at the clock, you technically didn’t take a proper lunch break, you could take it now and get over to Hybe…

Your face twisted and you clocked out for your hour lunch, lucky to have such a long time, and started to gather a few items to leave the house. Texting Seungcheol, you let him know you’d be on the way in a few, thanking him for answering your text unlike your soulmate. You grabbed some medicine from the bathroom cabinet to shove down Jihoon's throat if you had to. The taxi you ordered on the way downstairs was waiting out front when you stepped outside, sighing quietly as you watched the buildings fly by. 

Seungcheol, even though you didn’t need it after entering the building a thousand times, was waiting at the entrance, a smirk on his face, now masked. 

“If he is getting sick, he is getting sick sick, so you should probably put on a mask too.” Cheol led you to the elevator, pulling one from his pocket and handing it over to you. 

“What’s the point? I live with him and will probably get sick either way.” 

You could see his smile behind the mask, but you understood his precaution, you just knew that almost no matter what, you’d be joining him in the illness gang. You still took the mask and pocketed it for now. 

“Let me know how is it? And try to take him home.” 

The elevator doors slid open, the dark gray walls staring back at you. 

“Will do, I’ll see you later.”

You made your way down the almost never ending halls, taking a few turns, waving at a few Pledis staff, before you came to the half frosted glass wall of Universe Factory. Jihoon’s second home as he liked to call it now that you’ve made a home together. You could feel the pull of your soul, needing you to get closer to him.

The lights were off and the blinds were closed upon peeking in and you could clearly see the lump of a body under the weighted blanket on the couch. 

Heaving another sigh, you used your key to get into the studio, keeping quiet as you dropped some of your things on the desk counter. Your bond hummed with each step closer, sitting yourself on the edge of the couch gentle, not wanting to disturb him. Jihoon didn’t stir, but you peered over to see his still flushed face – maybe even redder – facing the back of the couch. 

“Oh…” You sighed through your nose, reaching over to place the back of your hand against his forehead, feeling the feverish warmth seeping into your skin. He was really warm, the thick blanket wasn’t helping. 

“Jihoonie…” Shaking his shoulder, you heard him grumble, curling in on himself, eyes still closed. “Come on, wake up. You have a fever.” 

It took a moment for him to roll onto his back, a childlike sniffle heard as he sucked in a breath through his nose, clear to anyone how stuffed his sinuses were. Jihoon looked up at you, eyes a little glassy, definitely a lot worse than he was hours ago, but it didn’t surprise you. 

“What time is it?” His voice sounded scratchy, another sniffle as he took in another breath, only to be let out with a cough into his arm. 

You looked down at him with sympathy, pushing his hair back, feeling how clammy his skin was. “It’s almost four-fifteen. Let's go home, you don’t look or feel good.” 

He seemed to be processing the words before a tired, half-hearted nod came and he started to sit up. You helped him, moving the blanket off of him but a violent shiver wracked through him, a testament to the fever trying to sweat the illness out. He quickly pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up, shoving his hands into the pocket to keep in the warmth. 

You got up to grab the medicine you brought, bringing over the half empty water bottle with it for him to down the pills. When they were offered, he stared at them with a childish pout but took them when you sat down, slouching forward to rest his head on your shoulder, a series of short, rough coughs that he covered with the cuff of his sleeves to his mouth leaving him. 

“You need to put a mask on and I can call us a taxi to go home.”  You don't know why you whispered the words, gently stroking his short hair, providing some comfort. 

He gave a nod, barely lifting his head to meet your eyes. It took a moment for him to clear his throat and speak again. “Do we have soup at home? My throat hurts.” 

You wanted to give him a little kiss but he coughed again. 

“No, but I can either make some or order some. Ordering would be faster.” 

“Can you make it? Yours is the best.” 

You could feel a small bloom of fondness in your soul and you gave him a kiss to the forehead, not bothered by the sweat there. “It's going to take a bit but I can. You can sleep while I make everything.” 

“Thank you, Ru…” 

His head bobbed, as if he was keeping himself awake, and you stood, helping him up, helping get his shoes on, and collecting his things. You had to fight him a bit for the mask, placing your own on, but he settled when your hand rested in his, fingers lacing together. You texted their manager instead of ordering a taxi, knowing it'd be easier to get home with a sick Jihoon, and made your way out of the studio after checking you had everything. 

His manager met you at the elevator, mask on, standing on the other side of the elevator the whole way down. He asked if you guys would need anything, but you didn't want to worry him, shaking your head. Jihoon was plastered to your side, head once more resting on your shoulder, hand held firmly in yours despite the fleeting strength that went the sicker he got. He'd need some cold compresses for his forehead, but a hot shower to maybe help break the fever before that. 

The drive back was quiet, thankfully, and you bid the manager farewell, telling him you'd keep him updated on your soulmate's condition. He said he was available, or any one of the managers were available, if he needed to go to the hospital, and you thanked him, both hoping it didn’t come to that.. 

Jihoon swayed with each step to the apartment door, barely making it to the couch before he face-planted down onto it. 

“No, no, you need a shower first, then bed, and I can make soup.”  You hurried over after closing the door, seeing the tired pout he gave when he turned his head. 

It took some coaxing to get him up and into the shower, which turned into a bath and you sitting on the ground beside the tub, making sure he didn't fall asleep. He washed up slowly and you ended up running your fingers through his hair with the shampoo, joking quietly that he was a cat when he leaned into your touch. The bond sang full of yearning at each loving, caring touch. Jihoon thanked you between coughing fits, and apologized that you were probably going to be sick too at some point. You eased his worries as you helped him out, wrapping a towel around him and rubbing his hair down with another. He let you blow dry his hair, sitting patiently in fresh clothes so he didn't sleep in wet hair. 

When you finally made it to the bedroom, Jihoon crawled under the blankets, asking for you to stay, but you needed to cook and he needed to sleep. He held your hand, huffing out a breath before he settled in, releasing you from his hold. You rushed to get him a cold towel for his forehead, making sure he was alright before making your way to cook. 

The soup was a recipe his mom had showed you, but you added your own little tricks to make it yours. It was hearty and full of flavor, a staple now that the weather was frigid and the wind chill even worse. You peeked into your room every once and a while, changing the water on the towel and checking his fever. Never once did he stir and you were glad he was resting.

You sent an email to your boss that you'd make up some of the work you missed, laptop on the kitchen island as you translated more documents between the soup steps, which ended up being a lot. 

“Ru?” 

  Your head whipped around as you stirred the pot and your heart melted to the floor. 

Jihoon, bundled up in your thick comforter that rested on your bed, waddled into the kitchen, right up to the island. He didn't look much better, his eyes were still glassy and his skin sickly pale. You stepped around to him, placing the back of your hand to his forehead, the fever still running rampant but at least it didn't get worse from what you could tell. Maybe a thermometer would be better than your hand. 

“You should be in bed, ‘Hoonie.”

“You weren’t there.” He leaned into your hand, only for you to cup his cheek, your thumb smoothly running over his skin. “I missed you.” 

Your lips spread into a tender smile. “I miss you all the time, Jihoonie. But you should be in bed, you are burning up.” 

“Come to bed.” He took your hand from his face, giving it a light tug, wanting you to follow. 

Peering over your shoulder, you had the soup almost ready, the noodles were nearly done… 

Looking back at Jihoon, he had such a mopey look in his eyes. “Please?” 

There went your heart again. 

“Go sit on the couch, I’ll get us some soup and we can eat then go to bed. Is that okay?” 

Giving a nod, Jihoon let your hand go, wobbling his way over to the couch, sitting at the edge closest to the kitchen and watching you drowsily. With haste, you started to grab bowls and spoons, along with your well loved serving tray, and made sure it was all okay before dishing out the soup. The smell was enough to have your stomach gurgling and having an unadulterated gaze in Jihoon’s eyes. 

You both sat and ate, curled up side by side, Jihoon, once again, thanking you all you’ve done. You got up to get him another dose of medicine, this time more willingly taken, drowned out by the soup as he finished it off. Usually, he went for a second serving, but he only sat until you were done, letting you push the dishes in the sink and move the soup into a container to rest in the fridge. The moment you were done, he was dragging you to bed, curling himself up into a ball against your chest, arms wrapped around your middle. He whispered an ‘I love you’ before his eyes closed and he drifted off. You kissed the top of his head, making sure the blankets were tucked tightly, warmly, around the both of you.

Jihoon ended up being sick for five days. He was semi-conscious on the second and third day, the fever spiked, he lost most of his voice, and you were terrified about taking him to the hospital. He refused to even consider it and slept through all three meals of the second day. Luckily, by the beginning of the fourth day, his fever broke, but he was still coughing and oversleeping. You had barely slept, the bond feeling flat and fluttery, which didn’t help your anxiety even if you were at his side the whole time. On the fifth day, he had more energy, still taking it easy and his appetite was back, which calmed you. He helped clean up the mess you both ended up making, changing sheets on the bed now that he was feeling better. 

On the sixth day, you started to feel bad. 

The tightness in your chest, a cough that was fine one minute and the next you were hacking up a lung, and spiking a fever wasn’t how you wanted to spend your Saturday but there you were. Jihoon, at first, did laugh, but quickly shifted gears when he realized how bad you were feeling through the bond. 

“This is all your fault.” You coughed, voice raspy and strained. “All your fault.”

He sat beside you in bed, your head in his lap, brushing the hair from your face. “Yep, I’m the worst.” 

He did everything you had done for him, bringing you soup he made – thanks to his mom’s recipe and your cooking lessons – making sure you took all the cold medicine, and providing himself as a personal heater through the worst of your fever spikes.

When the rest of Seventeen heard of the sick train between Jihoon then you, a few came by to drop off food, which was helpful with you being sick for longer than him. Jihoon never left your side since the group was on a short ‘vacation’, and you had his undivided attention when awake. You were pampered, cuddled, and – despite you telling him no – kissed each day. He brought his computer to the bedroom to work on music, letting you hear every melody that he was creating and helping him with some of his English lyrics when you were awake. 

“This sucks.” You were pressed into his body, face hidden in his shoulder, fever finally breaking for the first time all day. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Of course I would take care of you, Ru.” Jihoon placed a kiss on your head, pulling you close. “I vividly remember saying something about in sickness and in health, blah blah blah, ‘as long as you both shall live’.” 

“I’m tired.”  “Then sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up, always.”

Permanent Taglist Form

Permanent Taglist: @smiileflower

[wooahaeruby]

hoshi: when a bad bitch tells me to do something 🫡 (translation 1, 2, 3)

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HOSHI & WOOZI ‘동갑내기’ Official MV Teaser 1

[wooahaeruby]

Can I please be added to the taglist for your works...

Ofc you can! I'll be adding you to BSH come next chapter and anything after that ❤️❤️