worldofcrack

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Beedle

Mario: Alright, who’s going in first?

Kirby: Not it!

Beedle: Going in where?

Link: Hey, I’ve heard of you! You’re called Beedle, right?

Beedle: Indeedy deedy.

Link: *whispers to Marth* The Beedle I knew wore more clothes.

Marth: Why are you telling me this, Link?

Beedle: *whispers to Sheik* The Link I knew wore green.

Sheik: Um... Okay.

Piranha Plant: Beedle, can we stay in your tent?

Toon Link: Go away traitors!!!

Beedle: I told you you weren’t allowed here unless you paid rent.

Toon Link: Argh!!!! Why am I in charge of watching over you? I deserve a better job!

Link: Why don’t you-

Toon Link: I’ve heard of your tricks! I won’t fall for them!

Link: Fine, take this bomb to Galeem, it’s a gift from me.

Toon Link: Oh, okay. *takes bomb*

Link: Killer queen!!! *detonates bomb*

Toon Link: *flying through the sky* Fuck you!!!!!

Snake: I could have done it better...

Beedle: I don’t know what is wrong with that kid.

Mario: How much do we have to pay you to stay overnight?

Beedle: Just buy some of my stuff. I’m so glad you got rid of that kid.

Kirby: What’s for sale?

Beedle: A Labrador retriever.

Villager: I’ll take it.

Mario: You’ll kill it!

Villager: Humanoids are all I kill. I need dogs.

Beedle: You might want some snacks for it.

Villager: Why thank you. I’ll spare your life for now.

Beedle: I also sell tomatrio.

Kirby: I’ll buy them!

Tomatrio: Hello.

Kirby: What!? Oh, come on!

Beedle: I also have skill spheres.

Mario: Oh, fuck it. I’ll buy them.

Beedle: There are a lot of you. I’m sad to say you guys won’t all fit in here.

Mario: Don’t sweat it. The kids can sleep outside.

Marth: What!? Why?

Snake: Just go look for a place to sleep. Olimar, follow them to make sure they don’t cause a mess.

Olimar: Why me?

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Kalypso

Marth: Ugh, can we take a break? I’m tired of walking all the time.

Mega Man: If we find an expert in androids, I could have them install a jetpack on my back. Then I could carry all of you guys.

Kirby: No, I’m the only one here allowed to fly!

Mario: What’s that thing in the sky?

Link: A furry?

Mega Man: It’s a crocodile! Or maybe it’s an alligator. I’m not sure what the difference is.

Kirby: Hey, Afro-Croc, I’m the only one allowed to fly!

Kalypso: Hello, pink puff ball.

Mega Man: Where did you get that jetpack?

Kalypso: These are my drums. I had them upgraded to double as jetpacks. I didn’t get them here tho. I don’t think you’ll be able to find anything like this.

Mega Man: Aw... Are you sure there aren’t some in that tent?

Kalypso: That ain’t my tent. Some weirdo lives there. He sells weird stuff. You might find something else you like.

Link: Can you be more specific? We see a lot of weird shit all the time.

Kalypso: Don’t have time. I’ve gotta go, it’s getting late. You guys should find a place to spend the night.

Marth: Well, if the weirdo pisses us off, we can always kick him out of his tent.

Mario: Marth, you don’t know who he knows! For all we know he has many followers.

Marth: I’m really good at getting enemies to join our side. I bet I can get him to pay us so that we stay in the tent.

Kalypso: Okay, he isn’t as weird as you guys.

Link: Says the crocodile with an afro. Is it a wig?

Kalypso: ... I must fly. Goodbye.

Mario: Looks like we’re gonna have to meet the weirdo.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Deku Link

Sheik: The next spot we unlock will be the sixty-ninth. We’re getting close to unlocking a hundred.

Link: I need to come up with the best joke for whoever we meet!

Deku Link: Anyone here want this flower?

Marth: I do!

Link: Young Link, what happened? Can you go back to normal?

Deku Link: I’m not the one from Smash Bros. I don’t know any of you except Sheik.

Sheik: You can join us. Many spirits are traveling with us.

Kirby: They are?

Mario: I have no complaints.

Marth: I do! Why do you all complain about there being too many Marths but don’t say shit about the Links?

Link: If you take off your pants, I’ll stop complaining.

Marth: Fuck you, Link.

Deku Link: Um... If you’re a Link why are you wearing blue?

Kirby: I think the bigger issue is why he’s not wearing the Gerudo outfit.

Deku Link: Gerudo outfit? Like the Gerudo women’s outfit?

Sheik: Yes, he had to wear it to get into the Gerudo village.

Deku Link: Huh... I just beat them all up and they let me stay.

Link: I should have tried that.

Kirby: Now we just need to get Ganondorf to cross-dress.

Mario: Yeah... I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Link: I can’t come up with a joke!

Marth: Hey, Deku, want to know something about your future?

Deku Link: Sure.

Marth: You get-

Link: No, I want to say it!

Sheik: You get laid.

Everyone: *stares at Sheik*

Sheik: What?

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Ricky

Mario: Left or right?

Kirby: Left!

One hour later.

Snake: Huh, that really looks like the base.

Mario: We should head back.

Link: Pff, you’re just too scared to continue.

Oracle Link: Is that another Link?

Ricky: Sure is!

Marth: How is that kangaroo male?

Ryu: A kangaroo is talking and you’re bothered by it being male?

Marth: Male kangaroos don’t have pouches. I think.

Link: Sheik, you should know these things. You can tell Marth if he’s right or wrong.

Sheik: What is wrong with you? I’ve never seen a kangaroo in my life up till now.

Ricky: Hm... I guess I must have had some birth defect...

Mario: Marth look what you’ve done to him. Now he’s all depressed. Don’t worry, um...

Ricky: Ricky. Just Ricky.

Mario: Maybe in your species of kangaroo, males have pouches too.

Oracle Link: That must be it! Thank you for helping him through his existential crisis!

Ricky: As a reward, we’ll show you this cool warp pipe we found.

Near the warp pipe.

Kirby: Nooo!!! There’s a little colum in the path!

Sheik: Can’t we just go around it?

Kirby: No, we must go back.

Mario: That’s what I said before!

Kirby: Yeah but it came from your mouth so no one cared.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Ellie

Mario: Right or left?

Kirby: Left! There’s a bridge! I want to go on the bridge.

Mario: All right. We’ll cross the bridge.

Kirby: Guys, be careful. We don’t want to lose our sponsors. We should be safe because this isn’t PUBG.

Mario: We don’t have any sponsors! We’re the only people alive here!

Link: Look at that beautiful waterfall and rainbow.

Marth: It’s almost 1% as pretty as me.

Link: So, you admit you’re-

Ellie: Hey, what’s up?

Villager: We found dinner!

Ellie: Please don’t eat me!

Ryu: What do you want little elephant?

Ellie: Oh, I’ve heard everything about you guys! I wish to join you in your adventures! I’ve heard tales of your bravery and amazing teamwork!

Snake: What tales have you heard?

Ellie: First, Kirby. He’s an amazing and fearless warrior who’s number one priority is saving his friends.

Kirby: I guess food and friends aren’t too different.

Ellie: Then, Mario. He’s an amazing leader respected by all.

Mario: I wish.

Ellie: Marth is the most selfless person on the team and is the team’s heart. He’s always cheering you during dark times.

Marth: This team would be nothing without me!

Ellie: Olimar is a family man who treats his Pikmin with respect.

Olimar: Someone gets it.

Ellie: Pac-Man always has a smile and is a pleasure to be around.

Pac-Man: Hey, mine’s accurate!

Ellie: Mega Man is a robot who’s assimilated perfectly with humans. You can hardly tell he’s a robot!

Mega Man: Thank you!

Ellie: Snake is always there to watch out for everyone.

Snake: Oh, come on. At least, give me a funny description.

Ellie: Sheik is the secret weapon. She protects everyone when everyone’s down!

Sheik: I wish this was Melee.

Ellie: Villager is just a kid but he’s fearless!

Villager: I am only a kid in body.

Ellie: Link is the hero we all need. He’s always there for you and will respect everyone worthy of respect.

Link: Exactly. It just turns out not many people here are worthy of respect.

Ellie: Ryu only recently joined but he’s already an important part of the team.

Ryu: Seriously?

Ellie: And Piranha Plant- *gets pushed off the bridge by Mario*

Mario: Mamma Mia, just shut up!

Snake: Let’s leave.

Link: Are you done staring at your own reflection?

Marth: *in tears* Have you ever seen a man so beautiful he made you cry?

Link: *starts crying* Yes...

Sheik: What is wrong with you two?

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Sakura

Link: I’m bored, let’s sing a song.

Piranha Plant: Oh, I love singing!

Sheik: I can play music with my harp.

Marth: Let’s sing Senbonzakura!

Sakura: Um... Did somebody call my name?

Marth: Great, a Fates character.

Corrin: Don’t speak to them, Sakura.

Sakura: Big sister!

Marth: Oh, look, it’s the character people only like because of feet.

Sakura: B-but everybody loves big sister.

Everyone else: ...

Mario: You know what? I’ll be honest. I don’t like Corrin.

Corrin: Good because I don’t like traitors. Lord Galeem will defeat you all. He’ll kill you all.

Sakura: W-what!? T-that’s so mean!

Kirby: Yeah, Corrin. That’s why no one likes you!

Sakura: Y-you’re not my real big sister!

Kirby: I don’t have a sister, but yeah!

Corrin: Whatever, I love Elise more than you.

Sakura: Elise deserves better!

Kirby: Yeah! Get lost Corrin.

Corrin: *leaves*

Sakura: Thank you. Um...

Kirby: Kirby, aka Jesus Christ.

Sakura: Um... I don’t know who Jesus Christ.

Marth: Jesus Christ, Fates characters are stupid.

Snake: Pretty ironic coming from the guy who believes iPhones grow on trees.

Marth: To make iPhones, you need money to buy everything you need. To make money, you need paper. Paper is made out of wood. So, iPhones grow on trees.

Snake: How can you stand him?

Link: *shrugs* After a while, Marth being a little bitch becomes adorable.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - Piranha Plant Pipes In

Mario: Time to go back to our home.

Ryu: Well, technically Japan is my home.

Link: And I’m technically homeless.

Mario: Oh, poor you.

Marth: Hey, I wanted to say that!

Back in the SSB world.

Snake: Let’s go West.

Sheik: It’s going to be a long trip, we should look for food.

Link: Yeah! I can cook something for us.

Kirby: Great, why don’t you do it now?

Link: It’s kinda hard to cook on a boat with no material.

Later towards the Mushroom Forest.

Marth: I don’t feel so good. I think you messed up your soup, Link.

Link: I wasn’t the one to get the ingredients. Blame Sheik.

Sheik: I’m sure everything was edible.

Kirby: I’m so fucking dizzy! Fuck you all!

Mega Man: I wish I could feel the same way you guys do.

Pac-Man: You really don’t want to.

Mario: All right, you kids better stop complaining.

Piranha Plant: I knew my poison would attract someone!

Mario: ...

Piranha Plant: ...

Mario: ...

Piranha Plant: ...

Mario: ...

Piranha Plant: *bites Mario* I’m sorry! I hope you’re freed from evil perverted ball’s control!

Villager: Huh? You’re not with Galeem?

Piranha Plant: Nope! When I got here, everyone was gone. I’ve run into tons of evil fighters.

Olimar: So, Galeem didn’t manage to get to you... What are you planning on doing now?

Piranha Plant: I’m not sure. I’d like to find some place safe.

Kirby: You should join us! Just please get rid of your poison!

Piranha Plant: Really!? I get to join Smash?

Kirby: Yeah, yeah. Just get rid of the poison.

Piranha Plant: Yay! I’m so excited!

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Ryu

Mario: We’re back in Japan.

Marth: Yay! I love Japan!

Kirby: Shut up, weeb, no one talked to you.

Ryu: So, you guys have come after me? You have no chance of freeing me.

Link: Actually, it’s a total coincidence we found you here.

Ryu: Well, your little trip finishes here.

Marth: I don’t mind it finishing here.

Ryu: I’ll make sure to ship your remains to Hell.

Marth: Eh, Hell’s better than Brawl. I’m fine with that.

Ryu: I will talk Lord Galeem into sending your remains to Brawl.

Kirby: Bold of you to assume Galeem gives a shit about you.

Ryu: He cares about all of us!

Sheik: He doesn’t. If he cared about you, he’d let you speak Japanese. Are you not embarrassed you can’t remember a single word?

Ryu: ... I don’t need Japanese, I’m not a weeb!

Snake: You’re fucking Japanese, Ryu! How are you supposed to be a weeb?

Ryu: I will not join you! I will never betray Lord Galeem.

Link: That’s what she said.

Sheik: *punches Link*

Kirby: Hey, guys, why don’t we just give up on Ryu?

Mega Man: Kirby, you can’t be serious! Ryu is our friend.

Marth: I never talked to him.

Olimar: Yeah, me neither.

Mario: He’s our fellow, fighter. We need to save him.

Kirby: Just listen, Mario. The truth is, no one here really cares about Ryu. We’re all tired of Street Fighter. We need a break from it.

Ryu: What?

Pac-Man: I guess you’re right, Kirby. He’s not even necessary for clearing World of Light. We should focus on who really matters.

Ryu: You’re not even going to try?

Villager: We’ve got better things to do.

Ryu: Please let me join, I don’t want to be the only one to not be able to join you!

Kirby: I’m a fucking genius.

Mario: Alright, let’s go back to our world.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS M. Bison

Mario: We’re in Malaysia now. Hopefully, we won’t run into trouble.

M. Bison: Did someone say trouble?

Kirby: Make it double.

Sheik: That is not how it goes.

Kirby: Fuck you, Sheik! I do what I want.

M. Bison: Fight me!

Pac-Man: Why is everyone so obsessed with fighting?

Olimar: Why are we only running into Street Fighter characters now? I’m bored of them! I don’t even want to throw my pikmin at them!

M. Bison: You two are suffering, good. I like it when people suffer.

Marth: Can villains come up with something more interesting than “Oh, you’re suffering, that takes me to my la-la land”, like really? You don’t have anything more interesting to say?

M. Bison: Um... Can you repeat that?

Link: Jesus, Marth, you can’t go around making villains give up on their villainous ways because they’re scared of you.

M. Bison: Yeah! I’m gonna beat you all up!

Kirby: I’ve got an idea! If you get us food, we’ll fight you.

M. Bison: You will?

Kirby: Only if it’s nice.

M. Bison: Deal.

One meal later.

M. Bison: Fight me!

Snake: Not right now. We need to catch our flight to Japan.

M. Bison: But you promised!

Sheik: Kirby never specified when we’d fight you.

M. Bison: *cries*

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Sagat

Mario: We’re in Thailand!

Kirby: I want Thai curry! I love curry!

Link: Please tell me it’s not spicy. The curry in Smash is so hot and spicy!

Marth: No, it’s not!

Link: Yes, it is! That’s why you breathe fire when you eat it.

Marth: It’s not the curry that’s hot, Master Hand just shoved in some weird magical thing in it.

Sagat: May I interest you guys in some curry?

Pac-Man: How sweet of you!

Sagat: Before that, I want to fight all of you.

Mega Man: But we don’t want to fight you.

Sagat: Fine, go eat shit!

Kirby: Look at what you just did, Mega Man! We were about to get good food!

Sagat: Yeah, look at what you just did.

Mega Man: I’m sorry, guys.

Sagat: I will take you to the airport and you will never come back here ever again.

Mega Man: I’m so sorry...

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - The trip gets sexual (not really)

On the plane.

Link: Hey, guys, I’ve been doing some thinking.

Marth: You can think?

Link: Of course, I can. This is the sixty-ninth chapter of this story. That means this story’s about to-

Marth: But I’m the only hot person on this plane. How is the story meant to become-

Link: You’re not the only hot person here. I bet if we surveyed everyone on this plane on who they’d want to bang and they weren’t allowed to vote for themselves, I’d get more votes than you.

Mario: Link, what nonsense are you talking about?

Sheik: It’s just Link being Link with his only living brain cell. Are you seriously expecting him to make any sense?

Kirby: Guys, have any of you noticed how shit the movie selection is?

Snake: Villager seems to be enjoying it.

Villager: Kill her, bitch! KILL HER!!!!

Mega Man: I can’t believe people were filming instead of helping that poor girl.

Pac-Man: It’s a horror movie, it’s all fake.

Kirby: I wasn’t talking about the horror movies, although they are all trash.

Snake: Well, the other movies are... Interesting.

Olimar: It’s just a bunch of R-18 movies and hentai. Who chose these movies? Aren’t planes supposed to not have these kinds of movies?

Mega Man: There’s gotta be something we can all watch. We don’t want to be bored the whole flight.

Mario: I’ve been having plenty of fun not watching any. You young ones are so obsessed with technology.

Marth: So, you’ve been using your imagination instead?

Mario: Yes, you can think about anything you want. What is it you want the most right now?

Marth: Hm... I want the iPhone 11 Pro Max. No, I want Roy to buy it for me. I want him to take me to the Apple store, let me choose the color I want, then he takes out his credit card and he-

Kirby: I want a shit ton of good food! I’d be sitting on my bed and food would be surrounding me.

Snake: I’d like my ass back.

Sheik: I’d love it if... No, nevermind. What have you been imagining, Mario? Is it about Peach?

Mario: Of course, it is about Peach.

Sheik: You’re so uncreative.

Mega Man: I think I’ve found a movie that doesn’t look bad. It’s called Boku no Pico.

Everyone else: *freezes in shock*

Snake: Destroy every single TV screen on this plane!

Sheik: Don’t let a single one remain usable!

Mega Man: W-what? Why are you guys destroying everything?

Villager: You do not want to watch that anime. Even I wouldn’t watch it.

Pac-Man: Remember kids, remember to do your research before watching something fishy.

Snake: Years of research.

Olimar: Who are you two talking to?

[worldofcrack]

Will you be including dlc characters/spirits? Love the fic btw

I’m glad you’re enjoying it :)

The DLCs characters will be included (I’ll space them out a bit so that there aren’t suddenly a bunch of new characters at once) and I’ll also include the DLC spirits that come with the DLC fighters.

As for the other DLC spirits, since they appear at random and through events, I don’t think I’ll include them. I write every post while playing WoL so I’ll probably never come across them since I never play spirit modes outside of WoL (I like playing Smash with no items and tournament legal stages, so I don’t play all the bonus modes).

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Vega

Snake: Mario, we’re in Europe. You must feel right at home.

Mario: Not really. Spain is very different from Italy.

Vega: Indeed it is.

Kirby: Whatever, do you know a good restaurant? I heard European food’s the best.

Vega: It is, but I quite enjoy Japanese food as well.

Marth: This guy’s a total weeb.

Link: You’re one to talk.

Vega: Sadly, everything is closed right now as it’s siesta time.

Kirby: Oh, come on! We already had a long-ass siesta on our way here.

One siesta later.

Vega: Here are your tapas.

Kirby: Finally!

Sheik: These taste really good.

Mario: I wish we could to Italy too.

Vega: Where are you going next?

Mega Man: Someplace in Asia. We couldn’t understand the name.

Vega: Good luck with that.

Olimar: Thanks.

Kirby: Guys, I think we should just stay here forever. The food here is better than back home.

Mario: No, we are going to save the world-

Vega: Za warudo.

Mario: We are going to save za warudo and that’s final.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Balrog

Mario: We’re in-

Kirby:  America.

Marth: America.

Snake: America, fuck yeah!

Balrog: Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah!

Snake: America, fuck yeah!

Balrog:  Freedom is the only way, yeah!

Snake:  Terrorists, your game is through!

Balrog:  'Cause now you have ta answer to!

Snake: America, fuck yeah!

Balrog:  So lick my butt and suck on my balls!

Sheik: Someone should stop them.

Link: We’re going to get copystriked!

Mega Man: I wonder if Snake, Little Mac and Ken will sing this song on the 4th of July.

Mario: I hope not, one American at a time is enough. Now we’re going to have three of them.

Villager: I could always kill one or two for you.

Olimar: Imagine if one day a fourth one showed up out of nowhere.

Pac-Man: I don’t know why I get the feeling that will happen one day.

Snake: Nice meeting you, man.

Balrog: Same here. Good luck with your mission.

Snake: Thanks, good luck with your career.

Mario: Mamma mia, let’s just go to Spain.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - Night in the dojo

Zangief: Welcome to dojo. I will provide you with food and shelter for free if you can handle my workout. Little pink guy can stay for free. The food is in the room to the left.

Kirby: See you later losers!

Zangief: I will teach you nine. My style, Russian style, is the best style. Questions?

Snake: *glaring* What does your style consist of?

Zangief: You will see. I need someone to be my second in command.

Villager: I volunteer!

Zangief: Smart choice, boy. You remaining eight will be split up into couples.

Villager: It’s pairs.

Zangief: You are smart, boy. Very smart.

In the Increase room.

Zangief: Harder! Harder! Harder!

Olimar: I’m more used to throwing my pikmin than actual people.

Pac-Man: He’s already thrown me over a hundred times. Can I do the throwing now?

Zangief: No! Throw must be perfect! I will go check on the other two.

Marth: Grabbing’s so easy.

Zangief: You think so?

Marth: I was known for my laws of physics-defying grab back in Melee.

Link: Marth, your grab sucks now.

Marth: Shut up!

Zangief: No arguing! Go do 100 pushups as punishment!

In the decrease room.

Villager: No! No! No!

Sheik: I’m hitting him as weakly as I can.

Mega-Man: She’s doing a pretty good job holding back.

Villager: Weaker! Your attacks must be weaker!

Mario: I’m not sure I can get my fireballs to get any weaker without them disappearing.

Villager: Shut up, boomer!

Snake: I have no control over my grenades’ power.

Villager: I will murder you and everyone you love if you do not weaken their power!

Later in the dining hall.

Link: I’m starving! I’m so glad this Hell’s over!

Marth: I can’t feel my arms at all...

Olimar: I can’t believe I wasn’t allowed to throw my pikmin!

Pac-Man: *crying*

Zangief: You four did well, proud of you. Dinner time for you, boys.

Link: Finally!

Zangief: After dinner, you will get well-deserved rest.

Meanwhile in the decrease room.

Villager: You guys are pathetic! I don’t want to see a single scratch in this room. I will murder your families and loved ones in front of you.

Snake: Can you please murder us instead?

Villager: I will save you for last.

Snake: God, damn it!

The next morning.

Kirby: I had a blast! I will come back to visit!

Zangief: Hahaha! Come back any time, little pink guy. My four apprentices, you can also come back.

Marth: Haha, of course.

Link: Yeah, we’ll bring all our friends over too.

Pac-Man: I suppose this was a unique experience.

Olimar: I’m still salty.

Zangief: As for the other four apprentices, never step foot in mother Russia ever again.

Snake: You don’t have to tell me twice.

Sheik: I’m so tired...

Mario: We got no sleep.

Mega Man: It’s all Villager’s fault.

Zangief: Do not blame, boy. Boy did his best but you four didn’t care!

Villager: Yeah!

Snake: Well, we’re leaving now!

Mario: Where to?

Snake: To the only place worth visiting, the land of the free.

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Zangief

Marth: *speaking in a terrible Russian accent* In Soviet Russia, you don’t watch TV, TV watches you.

Link: *in an even worse accent* In Soviet Russia, you don’t eat food, food eats you!

Marth: Nani!?

Mario: Can you two please shut up for a second? Your IQs are lowered to 0 when you’re together and your IQs are already low!

Snake: Let the kids be kids. They’re not hurting anyone.

Mario: They’re not kids, they’re teenagers and no, I will not let them be teenagers. All of the teenagers here must act like responsible adults. We’re on a mission to save the world.

Sheik: Ok, boomer.

Zangief: Oof.

Marth: Ew, who’s that ugly guy? Why do guys think big muscles look good?

Zangief: I am Zangief. I will prove to you that Russian fighters are the best.

Snake: There’s no way we’re losing to a Russian. For America!!!

Pac-Man: Um... You’re the only American here.

Zangief: Come and fight me, our battle will be legendary!

Olimar: That’s not how the meme goes.

Zangief: Ok, boomer.

Kirby: You’re a boomer.

Zangief: I have been beaten. Little guy, I will allow you and your friends to spend the night here.

Kirby: Will there be food?

Zangief: Lots of food.

Mario: But our-

Villager: No one cares! Now, shut up, boomer!

[worldofcrack]

SSBU - World of Crack - VS Blanka

In a jungle.

Mario: I can’t believe our plane crashed in the middle of nowhere.

Marth: And I was having the best dream ever! The hands decided to kick everyone who wasn’t in Melee out and to make Melee the main tournament again. I was kicking everyone’s ass!

Sheik: If you remove that last part, I hope your dream comes true.

Link: Guys, look on the bright side, there’s a pretty river in this jungle. We can go for a swim.

Kirby: Maybe we should just abandon everything and live here isolated from society. We should value what really matters in life, food. Some of us here are addicted to electronic devices.

Mega Man: What am I going to do if my batteries run out? I’m going to die!

Marth: If my iPhone dies, I will die!

Sheik: Kirby, you have a point, but we can’t let Mega Man die. We need to get back to society.

Snake: First, we need to figure out where the hell we are.

Blanka: You are in the Amazon Forest.

Villager: Huh, I’m surprised it still exists. My tree donations must have helped.

Olimar: Why would a serial killer like you care about the world’s well-being?

Villager: If the world ends, I won’t have anyone to kill.

Blanka: If you follow me, you’ll be able to make it back to the outside world.

Marth: Thanks. I didn’t know Hulk lived in Brazil.

Link: That’s not Hulk, that’s obviously a really old Gerudo. Their skin goes green when they get old.

Blanka: Actually, I’m just a Brazilian.

Pac-Man: Is that some type of human? You know, kinda like how there are Hylians, normal people and Marths.

Blanka: It’s a nationality, I’m an abnormal human.

Pac-Man: Huh, that’s pretty cool.

At the closest airport.

Mario: Thank you so much for your help, Blanka.

Blanka: You guys are welcome. Your next flight is to Russia, right?

Kirby: Is it the European part? I heard European food is the best.

Blanka: Probably. Be safe.

Mario: You too.