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I Refuse To Be Shaken

So I’ll go ahead and admit: This semester hasn't been exactly easy. I’ve learned a lot about my writing--which essentially means I’ve learned a lot about myself.

And I’ll also admit that some of what I learned, I didn’t necessarily like, but that’s what college is. It’s a learning experience. 

I’m really blessed that I went through all I did this semester. That’s right. Blessed. 

You see, I’ve always thought that admitting my faults made me weak, so most of the time I would suffer in silence. I’ve opened up to very few people. And that’s one thing I learned this semester: sharing your weaknesses makes you stronger.

I’m not perfect. Studying theology opens the door for many doubts to come through. I love what I’ve learned and continue to learn in Biblical Studies but nevertheless it can be hard.

My two majors seem to clash at times. I wonder if I’m even good enough to be in either of them. I look at the writing of my peers and think I’ll never be good enough. I wonder if I’ll ever even get to start on this book. Will I ever get finished with it? My mind is constantly racing.

I don’t know why, but through it all, God has been gracious to me. He has shown me my faults, but He has also shown me my talents. The talents He’s given me. 

So even though life is filled with rough patches, I refuse to be shaken because I know my God has great plans for me. Somehow I’ll get where He wants me to be, and in the end that’s all that matters.

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Rising Junior Portfolio Final Update

For those of you who have followed my blog, earlier this semester I was telling you about my RJP (Rising Junior Portfolio). I never got around to actually posting the final results. Looking back now, I’m happy for these results because my professors were right, and what they said has helped me to grow so much.

But anyway, I guess I should probably tell you what they said before I go on explaining it. Well, I remained in the program (Hallelujah!) but they did tell me that I had a lot to work on. At the time I didn’t want to believe them. How could i possibly change anything else I had given them? I edited to the best of my ability in hopes of producing a portfolio filled with my best. At least what I considered my best. 

However, now I can see they were right. 

Before this semester I had never really been in a writing class that explained the dynamics of writing to me. Or how to edit. So, I didn’t really know what “good” writing looked like. Or the correct way to edit because I didn’t know what to look for in the editing process. 

At the end of this semester though, I can see improvement. One of my professors even told me that he saw an exponential change in the caliber of my writing over the course of the semester. At least in fiction.( I’m still working with my other professor on poetry.)

I guess the truth behind how much I’ve improved will be found out Tuesday when I get back my short story. I’ll be sure to post an update on that. 

Promise.

It’s never easy to have your writing criticized, especially by professors, but I’m glad mine was. My professors have pushed me this semester. At first it was painful, but most good things hurt at least a little bit.

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Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

Lillith St. Crow (via writingquotes)

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Hey everyone!

I haven't written in a while, so really this is just a quick check in, if you may. 

I plan on posting an update on my writing as soon as I get on Spring Break. You just have to wait one more week. I know, impossible, but I think you can do it.

I look forward to updating you soon!

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Presented without comment.

EXCEPT to say- commonplacecaz.

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99% of writing is fear. Scared to not do the story justice. Scared no one else will like it. Scared of failure. Scared of success.

bethrevis (via solace-in-writing)

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Rising Junior Portfolio Update 1

Well this is just the first update for those of you who may be interested.

I received my first copy back from one of my professors yesterday. I am still waiting to hear back from the second.

From the professor I heard back from yesterday, the news was good. At least for now.

I just want to pause now and thank God for the answered prayers. My professor said that 

1) He was impressed by the amount of work I had been able to produce.

2) He loved my allegorical play.

I will admit, I am super enthused by this. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would help me to finish the play--which was difficult for me to write at the time. I was afraid that the plot was dragging for too long and that I had rushed the ending. I was also concerned that the allegorical element had pretty much been dropped out of it while I was writing, so for him to say that he not only liked it, but that he understood, makes me feel super blessed. 

I also prayed that somehow my writing would make a statement. I'm taking my professors comment about being impressed as answer to that one.

Perhaps its wrong of me to ask God for affirmation of what He has planned for me, but I love when He answers nevertheless.

I still have to hear back from one more professor and then have the seated interview, so I can't rightly say I'm finished just yet, but I feel immensely blessed that God has chosen to give me this kind of affirmation.

Just as in Jeremiah's letter to the exiles, I believe that God has a plan for my future. "For I know the plans I have for you' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

I still don't know what His plans for me are yet, but I feel confident I'm heading in the right direction...at least for now.

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Pretty much.

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One afternoon my wife and I were moving a few things around in our garage. Suddenly the largest, blackest, hairiest shape I’d ever seen sprinted across the floor. It was like a loaf of Panera bread wearing a poorly constructed fur coat and ugg boots. We had a rat. A large, easy to Google and …

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The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing. Isolated, neurotic, caffeine-addled, crippled by procrastination, consumed by feelings of panic, self-loathing, and soul-crushing inadequacy. And that’s on a good day.

Robert De Niro (via writingquotes)

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My New Year's Resolution

The time has come ("the walrus said' to talk of many things'") such as New Year's Resolutions. 

If you are anything like me, you usually will make them, follow them for a few weeks (I think last year I got up to two months!) and then forget about them.

This year I want that to change. So in a way, my New Year's Resolution is to keep my New Year's Resolutions. 

But WHAT are those? Well, a lot of them are the same ones I recycle every year: 

Be more active (stop making excuses and go to the gym)

Eat healthier (skip on the burger and order a salad)

However, my real Resolution for this year is different...make time to write. Usually I have at least one resolution involving writing, but those are normally things like:

Write everyday (which I've taken off my list since I now do that ;) )

Journal everyday (I've gotten better about this one, but its still on the list for this year)

So instead of saying just to make time to write, that's a little more difficult. Oh, but I forgot to mention the specifics. Mainly I mean make time to write on my novel. Ah. Yeah, that makes a bit of a difference. I can spend an hour journaling everyday. It doesn't take much to spend an hour on an essay or an assignment for class, but then what I'm working on suffers. Out of the many things I've discovered over the past few weeks is that if I don't make time to work on the novel, the novel doesn't happen. 

Yes. That quote was a big help.

I realized yesterday as I was looking through my files for the new year, I had only written three chapters on my novel in one year. That's roughly 30-40 pages. That's not a lot.

Now that I'm starting over, it's like I really do begin 2015 with a clean slate!

I've taken extra measures by going ahead and scheduling in one hour of writing time in my schedule. We'll see how long that lasts. Maybe I can actually keep one of my resolutions this year.

Here's to 2015!

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Chaos begins to tell a story...Enjoy.

If you really want to know me, my pinterest is as far as you need to look ;)

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I believe that a writer is a person who writes. An author is a person who has written.

Dean Wesley Smith (via writingquotes)

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LOVE!!!!! These words...just. Yes!

I Am, Therefore I Write

- - (This is an essay I wrote for a class assignment last semester, in which we had to reflect on why we wanted to write. It’s something I have to remind myself of constantly when I’m discouraged—so I am posting it here.) When I tell people I major in creative writing, they tend to have one of two reactions. The first is polite curiosity. “Oh,” they say, “how nice. What sort of things do you write? Do you plan on getting published?” I tell them I write whatever interests me, and yes, I would like to be published someday. We smile and nod and the conversation moves on. The second most common reaction—even if I don’t know the person beyond an acquaintance—is concern for my future. “How do you plan to make a living doing that?” they ask, as if I just told them I wanted to raise ferrets in the wild rather than be a writer. A stigma is attached to artistic professions. Tell someone you want to be a musician, painter, actor, or writer, and you risk being interrogated. What sort of jobs are offered in that field? What if you can’t sell your artwork? It’s hard to break into the music industry. You must want to teach writing, because that’s the only thing a degree is good for. The stereotype of the poor, starving, tormented artist is alive and well—and while many artists are tormented, so are people who go into engineering, accounting, nursing, etc. Profession has nothing to do with one’s mental state, or their ability to live a fulfilled life regardless of income.

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Let me tell you one thing about why writers write: had I known the answer to any of these questions I would never have needed to write a novel.

Joan Didion (via writingquotes)

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Just stop caring what everyone else says and write.

Me.