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[writemeuplove]

A cold night

Another night goes by

another thought is lost 

missing you, the daily cry

and once more outside is frost

[writemeuplove]

Reminiscing

Sitting here and wondering where the hell you’ve gone. Sitting here and wondering if you ever think of me. It doesn’t hurt like it used to. When I used to think of you, all that followed were tears.

Looking at it now, I don’t feel anything anymore. I accept that it happened. I accept my faults along with yours. I realized that we didn’t work out because we were toxic as hell. And it made me realize that it wouldn’t have worked any other time either.

I’ve learned to accept that there were good times. Because I know for a fact it wasn’t all bad. There were smiles and laughs, and late nights. Staying up late talking to each other. Or being quiet while we had other things to do. Just your presence would help me, it would calm me when no one else could. Going to class even when you weren’t in them. Eating out at Subway because why not?

But I also learned to accept the many faults. I learned that when it gets to the point where there is more bad than good, it’s time to walk away. The late nights that I’d cry because you humiliated me. The times I cried when you told me you were about ready to end it all. The time when asked me to share screens with you so that you could SEE that I was unfriending someone. Asking me if i had talked to anyone that day. Guilt tripping me into not hanging out with friends. Being mad over the time I changed my mind over wearing shorts to a party. Telling me you didn’t trust me when I was with a friend you thought liked me. Calling me to tell me to kick said friend out in the middle of a conversation I was having with him while he was over visiting me. Acting like you still loved me when all you wanted to do was blame me for everything falling apart.

Shit happened. And for the longest time, I thought I was the one that had done something wrong. And while I am not perfect and flaw free, I realize how this behavior was bad. How I should have run at the first opportunity I had. But we live and we learn.

I’m happier without you. Sometimes I wonder how you’re doing. If you’re happy and have found someone better to not be toxic with. But other than that you don’t really cross my mind anymore. And I’m okay with that. Because even though you once meant something so great to me, it’s fair that you’re not in my life anymore. You stressed me out more than anything else could. And that wasn’t healthy for me. I want to say I’m sorry for not allowing us to be friends, but I’m not. Because with all due respect, my well-being is more important than yours from my perspective. Besides, you did a wonderful job at putting your well-being in front of someone else’s. So I’ll say we’re even.

[writemeuplove]

Tom Holland Goes Undercover on Reddit, YouTube and Twitter | GQ

[writemeuplove]

I Can’t Sleep

I can’t sleep because you’re always on my mind. Thoughts of you dominate everything I do. 

I lose sleep at the thought of losing you. And I know I need you more than you need me. 

I can’t help feeling all of this for you. You’re true happiness in this world of blue. 

So I can’t sleep because I’m scared of losing you.  

[writemeuplove]

Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your playlist

[writemeuplove]

I Would

He said, "Let's leave together." And that was all I needed. Because it was at that moment that I realized that I was in so deep. Because it was precisely then that I knew I would follow him wherever it was he went. If he asked me to leave this planet and go with him into the stars, there is no damn doubt in my mind that I wouldn't. Because...I would. I would follow him wherever it is that he wanted to go. And that shit is so damn scary. To realize how lost you are. To realize how in love you are with one person. It shouldn't be possible. It shouldn't be possible for someone who's not even related to you to have this much power over someone. But here I am, sitting in this room, going over every conversation. Wondering how the hell it is that he knows exactly what to say to win me over even when I don't completely agree. So basically, I'm screwed. Because if he were to ask me to leave everything behind, without even thinking about it...I would.

[writemeuplove]

How I Met Your Mother - Ted Mosby

-via posttoxic

[writemeuplove]

Dear First Love

dear first love, If you can even be called that. It took me such a long time to realize that it was nothing specifically that I did. We were toxic. Brought out the worst in each other.

 It should have made it clear when I realized that the bad had outweighed the good. It had been such a long time since there was something good. While I'm not saying that there was no good, most of the things I can think about are the bad. Every once in a while, a good memory comes through. And I'll always be grateful for the few good ones. 

We don't talk anymore. You're completely out of my life, and I don't miss you. Sure, I miss the feeling of waking up next to someone. But I don't miss you anymore. And you have no idea how happy that makes me. 

For a while, I thought that the day I could say that would never come. I've definitely come a long way since then. I am so much happier without you. I am much more stress free. 

I never understood it when they said that some people could drain you until I met you. Kind of sad, really. 

I could have definitely been better. I'm sorry that I wasn't everything you thought I would be. I hope that you're doing well and that life is treating you well.

I really don't want you to come back into my life. I'm so much better without you and I can absolutely live with that. 

So..thank you. For all the lessons. For showing me how someone isn't supposed to make you feel and to learn to read the signs. Nobody passes through our lives without teaching us some kind of lesson. 

You might have been my first love, but you are definitely not my last. Thank goodness for that.

Sincerely, Me

[writemeuplove]

Late Night Thoughts

So...the real question is how do I make this go away? How do I wake up in the morning and not think about you? How do I go throughout the day not expecting a message from you? How do I make it not hurt when I know you're with someone else? How do I stop myself from imagining a future with you when there isn't one to begin with? How do I stop thinking about all the times you were there? How do I stop missing having you so close to me? How am I supposed to not love you if you're all I think about?

[writemeuplove]

Café Encounter Part Two

“Thank you. I really appreciate this.” I said to the young man who had helped me carry my groceries upstairs to my apartment.

“No problem, ma’am.” he said, looking at me.

I only had a dollar bill in my pocket. My hand went out to his and opened to drop the bill in his hand. “I know it’s not much, but that’s currently what’s on me.”

The young man smiled and shook his head lightly. “No worries, ma’am. I usually don’t get paid. Have a good rest of the day.”

“You too.” I closed the door behind him, thankful that he had offered to help me. I was struggling just carrying all those bags.

After I had finished placing everything in its corresponding spot, I heard my phone chime. I had left it on the coffee table as soon as I was able to. I walked over to it and picked it up. Straight after unlocking it, I checked my notifications, which showed a text from Ethan, inviting me to a dinner event with Aubrie, which included the address and the time. I gave him an affirmative and put my phone to charge.

I’d started seeing Ethan around more often. I had even met his girlfriend. Her name was Aubrie. She seemed like a nice girl, but it seemed to me that Ethan was always a little off around her. Maybe it was something that I had made up. I wanted their relationship to end. Not my proudest moment or thought, I know…you don’t have to tell me. The only reason why I didn’t hate her was that most of the time, he seemed happy. And that’s what I wanted him to be, whether it was by my side or somebody else’s.

Only a few hours later after the text, I was sitting at a table with Aubrie and Ethan. A part of me was happy to be here, since I had seen his family again. They had always been supportive of us and I still held a special place for them in my heart. However, saying that I didn’t belong here was an understatement. It felt too fancy and it seemed that most people attending were somehow related to either Ethan or Aubrie. The reason for this dinner remained a mystery to me, but it seemed to be something important.

At about eight-thirty, Aubrie stood up. The way she was looking at me filled me with unease. There was this glint in her eyes, as if she had won a prize I didn’t know about. Her next words confirmed my thoughts.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have some great news for you.” I watched as she looked back and grabbed his hand in hers, pulling him up alongside her. “We’re getting married!”

I watched her show off the engagement ring to everyone around her. My eyes traveled to Ethan, surprised by the fact that his eyes were already on me. At this point, I could feel my heart breaking. Looking down, I focused on my breathing. Closing my eyes, I counted to ten and forced myself to bury everything I felt. He’d always known when something was off. He’d been the only one who could make a crack in my walls and knock them down. But just because he was able to knock them down easily, that didn’t mean everyone else could as well.

Taking one last deep breath, I opened my eyes and looked up with a smile plastered on my face. Ethan hadn’t moved but Aubrie was back at his side. Both their eyes were on me, except Aubrie’s held something else I couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Congratulations!” I said as I hugged Aubrie quickly, then hugged Ethan after. I needed an excuse to get out of here fast. As I was thinking of one, my phone rang. Saved by the bell, I thought. Excusing myself, I took a few steps away from them and answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Amelia? I’m sure you’re probably busy, but I need you to come as soon as possible. I think I might be close to having a panic attack and I need you to come help me.”

“Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Take deep breaths.”

I turned back around and looked at them both. “Sorry guys. Duty calls. Congratulations once again. I’ll see you both around.”

I quickly excused myself and practically ran towards the exit. Since my car was parked nearby, I walked to it quickly and got in. Once I got to the apartment, I knocked on her door. When she opened it, she was fine, having people over and hosting a party. It was obvious she didn’t need my help, “You don’t need my help.”

“I know, but I had this feeling that you were in distress, so I called you over.” She said.

I shook my head, completely surprised. “How do you even do that, Vera?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “We just have a connection. So spill the beans. What’s happening?”

“Remember Ethan?”

“You mean the ex that you’re still in love with?”

I nodded. “He’s getting married.”

“Oh sweetie.” She pulled me into a hug. “I know how you must be feeling. Everything will be okay. You’ll find someone else to be happy with.”

A sigh escaped me. “ Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m always right. I’ll let you go, though. I’ll see you later, alright?”

“For sure. Thanks Vera. You’re the best.”

Her response came as a blown kiss. I caught it and threw one back, causing a smile to spread across my face. This was why I loved her. She always knew what to say, and she was right. Ethan had chosen to move on, and I had to do the same. Despite him never leaving my heart, I had to work on kicking him out.

I walked over to my drawer as soon as I walked through the doors of my apartment. Changing out of the dress I had chosen into sweats and a t-shirt helped me relax for the first time since the dinner. Once my hair was up in a bun, I went to sit on the couch in front of the tv. Soon after, my phone chimed. Seriously, the only person who ever texted me was Ethan, so it didn’t surprise me to see his name across the screen.

Hey Lia. I hope everything is going well. I wanted to invite you to the wedding. The date is March 16th if you want to come. You don’t have to, but if you do, I’ll let you know where it is.

Of course I’ll be there. Take care. I texted back.

Thank you. You’re the best.

I threw the phone away from me and hugged my knees to my chest. Resting my head on my knees, I proceeded to take deep breaths. There would be no more crying today or any other day. He was someone that meant a lot to me, he had been there for me when I needed him the most and I would never forget that. Even though my heart was breaking with this situation, I was not going to leave him alone.

I thought back to the announcement earlier. He’d seemed so stiff and uncomfortable. I realized that maybe it was his way of apologizing. I knew what true happiness looked like when he wore it. But today, after the announcement, he had seemed uncomfortable possibly due to my presence.  He could probably see right through me.

After all, Aubrie had been right. She had, in fact, won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked one last time in the mirror. The black dress I had reserved for special occasions had finally come to good use. I grabbed my bag and my keys and went out to my car. I inhaled and exhaled a few times before starting to drive.

Once in the parking lot, I turned the engine off and got out. I locked the car and returned the keys to my bag. Taking one last deep breath, I walked towards the venue. This had been Aubrie’s idea, even though Ethan had told me he had voiced his opinion many times, they still decided to do this. While I understood that this had to be perfect for the bride, the groom was getting married as well. After all, two people were marrying each other, not just one to themselves.

Looking around the wide space, I spotted Ethan in front of who I assumed was the minister, and walked over to him. “Hey.”

He turned at the sound of my voice and showed me a smile. “Hey, you.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure. Nervous as hell. A little uncomfortable at this venue, but at least this is happening.”

I nodded. “She better take care of you. You’re too valuable to just be swept to the side.”

He chuckled, then his face grew serious. “Amelia, I—”

Before he could finish the sentence, the music started and I turned to see Aubrie walking towards us, looking dashing in her wedding dress. This was my cue to leave, but I couldn’t help noticing the satisfied look on her face as she stared at me. Instead of looking at the man she was about to marry, she was looking at me. This felt so wrong, but there was nothing I could do. I went past all the guests and stood next to the entrance.

As he took her hands in his, I could see her eyes still on me. I knew that I had told him I would be here for him, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand here and watch how he declared his love for somebody else. Being as quiet as possible, I slipped through the door and walked towards the parking lot to my car.

I’d ended up at the same café where I had found him by sheer chance. It felt like that had been a lifetime ago. The curtains were fully up this time. I sat in the same booth I had been in a couple of months ago.

I ordered hash brown and scrambled eggs. Hash browns were my absolute favorite, and when they arrived with my food, I added ketchup to everything to complete my meal. I picked up my fork and grabbed a bit of hash browns. I held back a moan as I tasted them. They were so good.

As I finished my meal, I looked up at the clock I hadn’t noticed the first time. It showed that it was 2pm. I sighed. By this time, they had already said I do. Now, they were probably on their way to their honeymoon. I quickly swiped at the lone tear that escaped my eye without permission. I looked down, but from the corner of my eye, I saw movement. My instinct was to look up to see what had moved. However, when I did, I couldn’t believe the sight in front of me. It seemed so impossible that I even did a double take. But no…this was real.

Staring at me from the other side of the glass was none other than Ethan. My heart skipped a beat. My eyes immediately looked around, searching for Aubrie, but didn’t find her. Why was he here without his wife? Had he decided to take a small detour before leaving for their honeymoon? How had he even known I was here?

His eyes never moved from mine, but he shrugged and lifted his arms with the motion. I stayed rooted to the spot, unable to move. Maybe this was all a hallucination. But as soon as I felt a hand on my arm and came face to face with Ethan, that thought left my mind. However, confusion still clouded my mind.

“Ethan…what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out there, on your way to your honeymoon?”

He laughed. “No, I shouldn’t. To answer the question of why I am here, let me just show you.”

Before I could even blurt out my next question, his lips crashed against mine. My emotions overtook me as I kissed him back, until I remembered today was his wedding day. I pushed him away from me while simultaneously pulling my head back. “What about Aubrie?”

“I couldn’t go through with it. I realized I didn’t like her enough to marry her.”

“W—what?” I asked, acknowledging that was the dumbest response I could give.

“I was fighting with myself, standing next to her but thinking of you. I glanced at you, even though I knew I shouldn’t be, and when I saw you leave, everything became clear for me. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I let you walk out of my life. Aubrie changed when she met you. I saw the way she looked at you when she walked down the aisle. She didn’t love me. At some point, it had turned into a game for her.”

I couldn’t believe this was really happening. My heart was going haywire the more he talked.

“What I feel for you,” he continued, “what I’ve never stopped feeling for you had only made me realize that I was wrong in starting a relationship with Aubrie. She came into my life at a time when I had given up hope with you. I loved her, but it wasn’t as deep as my love for you.”

“I—I love you, too.”

He rested his forehead against mine. “It’s you, Amelia. It’s always been you.”

[writemeuplove]

Café Encounter Part One

This day couldn’t have gotten any worse. Not only did I have to endure my boss yelling at me for something that hadn’t been my fault, now I had no way to go home. I had just missed the last 24X bus home and the rain just started falling harder. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I looked around and realized that there was a café across the street. Thanking everything above, I made my way over and pulled on the door. Once the door opened, I was hit with warm air. I welcomed the warmth, seeing as how my clothes were damp from the rain. I needed to get a better raincoat, or at least have an umbrella ready for days like these.

I walked over and sat at one of the booths. I looked at my phone and then looked around, thankful that there was an outlet here. Since my phone had died a few hours ago, I needed to charge it. Hopefully the rain would stop soon so that I could try to call a taxi.

“Hi there.” I heard a male voice from the side. When I turned to look at him, he was holding a mug in his hand.

“Hi.” I said, tentatively. I was never good with talking to strangers. But his face seemed vaguely familiar. He was wearing a cap, which along with the low lighting in the room effectively covered his face. I didn’t want to stare for too long. That would have been a little creepy.

“You’re shivering. I have this recently made blend of my famous chocolate for you. Don’t worry about anything, it’s on the house.” He said, and I smiled at him. He placed the mug in front of me, making sure that the handle was facing my right hand. He reminded me of someone, but nothing came to mind. The drink warmed up my insides and I felt a little better. I loved the drink. Nobody had ever made it as good as he had, and yet something seemed familiar about the taste. This had been hands down the best hot chocolate I had ever tasted.

He hadn’t moved from beside me and I looked at him, still having that familiar feeling in me. “The rain really took you by surprise. If you would like, I have some dry clothes that you can change into.”

“Oh…you don’t have to do that. I’ll dry up eventually. Thank you for the offer, though.”

“I insist. I’d like someone to do the same for me.”

“Alright. Only because you insist.”

He left towards the counter and brought back a backpack. I left my phone attached to the wall, hiding it right next to the cushioned seat. I stood there for a few seconds looking at it, when I felt the waiter’s presence next to me.

“I can make sure that no one comes near your stuff if you want.”

I nodded. “Thank you. I would really appreciate it.”

I walked towards the bathroom. Once there, I took off my damp clothes and hung them on the hook of the stall. I was relieved when the dry clothes touched my skin. The shirt was a turtle neck that was a little too big on me, but I didn’t mind. The jean bottoms had to be folded like fifty times. Along with my boots, it didn’t look that bad. All the cold left me once I put on the clothes. After gathering all my clothes, I exited the bathroom and walked back towards the table.

The waiter was still waiting there, and it was then that I looked around the café. It was mostly empty. There were only two other people and then me. The kindness of this person towards someone he didn’t know warmed my heart. There were still good people in the world.

Once I approached the table, he looked up and a smile appeared on his face. “It looks better on you than it does on me.”

I chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment. And thank you for your kindness. I won’t ever forget it.”

“Better kindness than indifference.”

I froze. There had only ever been one person with that response whenever anyone thanked him. Ethan. He’d been the brightest, kindest guy I had ever met. No matter what was happening in his life, he made time for you. We had dated for a few years, but we separated after we both got our jobs in different cities. The company ended up closing down, and I had decided to stay here, without Ethan. That had been the biggest mistake of my adult life. I’d had other boyfriends since him, but none of them made me feel the way Ethan had. Deep down I knew I still had feelings for him when I couldn’t help but compare everyone else to him.

“Ethan?” I asked, my voice smaller and quieter than I had intended it to come out.

A smile spread on his face. “I was wondering when you would realize it was me. What have you been up to, Lia?”

Lia had always been his nickname for me. I couldn’t stop my heart from beating at a faster rate. I needed to calm it down. “Work mostly sucks. I have some good days, though. And then the last bus left me.”

“Ah. It would have been fine if it had been any other time.”

“Yeah. How did you end up here? Last I heard of you, you ended up in New York.”

“That is quite true. But my girlfriend lives here, so I thought why not?”

A girlfriend? Well then, that wasn’t exactly what I had expected to hear. At the same time, I shouldn’t have expected him to not have moved on. It had been so long since I had seen him last. Even I had tried at other relationships. It wouldn’t be fair for him to not start a meaningful relationship with anyone else.

“That’s great,” I said, but I couldn’t help the way that it came out. It didn’t sound anything close to cheerful. I didn’t know what else to say to him, so I took the chance and looked outside. Although it was still cloudy, the rain had finally stopped. I looked at my phone and it was already one. I didn’t even know that cafés stayed open this late. Since my clothes had been thrown as a pile next to me, I knew that they still weren’t dry.

I looked back at him, and I saw that he had taken off his cap and was now looking at me intently. I couldn’t stay here with him. Everything came rushing back and it was making it hard not to cry. If I had gone with him, what would have happened? Would we be married by now? What part of the world would we be living in? Jeezus, this was the very thing that I tried so hard to not think about. Now that he was in front of me, I didn’t know what to do.

“I think it’s about time that I go. The rain seems to have stopped. I’ll just change out of your clothes so that I can go back out there.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not letting you go out there with damp clothes. It’s late and most taxis aren’t in service anymore.”

“I’ll just take an uber then. I’ll come back and give you your clothes later.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m in the position where I can take you home. I’ll just clock out and then we can leave. Don’t forget to unplug your phone and take it with you. You kind of need that, you know.”

I watched him walk off and then proceeded to do as he said. At that moment, a young girl made her way into the café and walked over to him, placing an apron over her head. They exchanged a few more words. A few minutes later, he was back in front of me holding a bag in his hand. I took it and placed my wet clothes in it. I grabbed my phone and placed the charger back into my bag.

The ride back home was silent. I couldn’t say anything else to him. Despite having had many friends, and a few other boyfriends, no one had known me like Ethan had. He understood me better than I did myself, and that had been the scariest part. He could see right through me and I honestly wanted to run away from him.

Once in my apartment, I offered to throw his clothes in the washer and have him wait for them, but he said that it was fine. His girlfriend was probably waiting for him and he had to go. A searing pain shot right through me. I tried to smile at him, but I knew he had seen it. His eyes showed regret immediately.

“Don’t worry about me, Ethan. Go now. The next time you come, I’ll have your clothes ready.” I smiled at him, this time getting rid of all the thoughts that lingered.

“Alright. See you.”

I went to bed then, thankful that I wouldn’t have to work the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until a week later that I got a message. I opened it and saw Ethan’s name on it. When had he even gotten time to put his number in? It must have been when I had gone to change.

I had already washed his clothes. So he could come whenever he wanted to pick them up. This text was to ask if I was available to pick up his clothes. When I gave him the affirmative, he mentioned that he would be here in twenty minutes. I took that time to go look for his clothes. When I found them, I folded them and placed them in the same bag that he had given me.

A knock came at the door a few minutes later, and I rushed over to the door, bag already in hand. Ethan smiled at me once I opened the door. I returned the smile, feeling all the emotions I had felt last week coming back with full force.

I handed him the bag and he took it, never keeping his eyes off of me. “It was nice to see you again, Amelia. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You too, Ethan. Thank you, you know. Still. For everything you did.”

“Like I said, better kindness than indifference. You would have done the same for me.”

I nodded.

“May I hug you before I leave? I know it’s sort of a weird request, but I know you’re a hugger and I didn’t get mine.”

I laughed. “Of course.”

He wrapped his arms around me, and I almost cried out. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed him until I had come into contact with him. His forest scent filled my nostrils and I wished I could go back five years.

I let go of him first and took a step back. I put a smile on my face. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”

He nodded. “Thanks for washing my clothes, even though you didn’t have to.”

“No problem. Be safe, alright?”

“Always.”

He waved at me and I nodded. A few seconds after he left, I closed the door. I stood against the door and rested my head on it. A few tears had rolled down my cheeks. I wiped fiercely at them. It was then that I truly knew that Ethan Winters really was the one who had gotten away.

[writemeuplove]

Letters

For a girl who didn’t believe in love, she sure fell hard. It was something that she hadn’t expected either. There was always this determination in her. There was no way that someone would have a hold over her like her father had once had over her mother. If it was anything she knew, love only lead to heartache and emptiness. That’s what him leaving did to her mother. And in part, to her as well.

She held the letters in her hand. Gently, as if everything that she was remained in those letters. I guess it wasn’t really a lie. Those letters were the only things she had left of him. Some days, they provided all of the comfort that she needed. Others, the letters were not enough and she still felt empty, lost in this world that was supposed to be for the both of them.

He was the reason that she had learned to love in the first place. He took the time to show her that things didn’t always have to be so bad. If it hadn’t been for him, she would have never known what it was to like to love someone with all you were. She understood then why her mother never really got over her father. But it also made her hate him just a little bit. He had known that he was going to break her heart, and he did it anyway. No goodbye, no explanation, nothing. Just an empty space next to her in the morning.

She didn’t regret it. Not one bit. The only thing she wanted now was to have him back with her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his smile and how he looked at her. She went to sleep and hoped to dream of him. It was the only way that she could see him anymore.

And the letters. The letters held her together. Wasn’t it funny how a few pieces of paper could keep her alive? It didn’t change the fact that he was gone. But they were there as a reminder that he had existed. And that was enough for her. The time that they had spent together was something she wouldn’t change for the world. Maybe she’d exchange those memories to have him back with her again.

The flag rested in its case. With his picture by its side. And the letters to the right. He’d given her the best years of her life. And she hoped that she’d given him the same.

“I love you to the moon and back. No matter where you are, I’ll be there by your side.”

[writemeuplove]

Moved On

He stood in front of me like he had so many times before, except this time, there would be no good night kiss. Instead, he opened his mouth to ask a question. “Why haven’t you had a boyfriend since me?”

I stood there, just staring at him. It was a question that had thrown me off guard. A ghost of a smirk appeared on his face. Chances were he thought that he was so unforgettable, that I couldn’t even think about being with someone else. I smiled instead. “You want the truth?”

This time, his smirk fully formed and I was glad it had. I would smack it right off his face.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, making it seem like I was going to tell him it was because I still loved him. Seriously, who did he think he was? How had I even fallen for this dude? He was so full of himself. “Because I don’t want to. I don’t need someone by my side to make me feel like I’m worth something. I know damn well my worth. I’ve met many wonderful people in my time alone, and who knows? If one of them ends up being my forever, then that’s what I’ll take. I’m at peace with myself.”

The confused look on his face was hysterical, and I couldn’t hold back the laugh. “Did you really think it was because I was still hung up on you?”

He didn’t say anything, and that confirmed what I had first thought. When he still hadn’t said anything, I continued, laughing a little. “You’re not the best I’ve ever had, Leo. You were one of the people who taught me a valuable lesson, but nothing else. At one point, I thought you were it. But it turned out you weren’t. You were relatively easy to get over once I realized how much better off I was without you. So…thank you for that. I wish you the best.”

I smiled at him, and then walked away, hoping I would never see him again.