writinglyra

[writinglyra]

12, 67, 93 for the silly ask game!

12. Do they agonize about where to put stickers, or slap them on anywhere?

Asuka will slap stickers on whatever has a bare spot. Most of the stuff in her garage is covered in stickers. Even the stuff that might constitute a fire hazard.

67. Would they win a dance-off?

Absolutely not. But she would enter, and isn't that a victory of its own?

93. What’s the best way to beat them in a fight?

For being a hundred-pound, 5-foot-nothing science experiment, Asuka is stronger than she looks. But she's certainly not known for her hand-to-hand prowess. The easiest way to take her down is to target her wings or her friends. Taunting will help, too. She's a bit too proud for her own good.

[writinglyra]

36, 56, 48, 91

(love @inky-duchess 💜)

Thank you, Inky!

36. Would they go outside and point enthusiastically at a natural disaster instead of sheltering?

Not only would Indigo point enthusiastically. She would run straight into a hurricane and cling to a tree branch because she wants to "live life to the fullest".

56. What are they hate-watching and why?

Indigo hates musicals, but she listens to them secretly because she wants to "understand all the references". She will not admit it if you accuse her of singing Sondheim in the shower.

48. This restaurant doesn’t have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?

Indigo knows exactly which restaurants have Coke and which have Pepsi. She will purposely recommend Pepsi-affiliated restaurants to Viridian because she knows it'll piss her off and laugh maniacally about it.

91. Two of your WIPs are having a crossover (if you don’t have two, pick a random piece of media you like, or someone else’s WIP!). Which characters are getting along the best? Worst?

If we're crossing over TPIWP with Monsters and Majesty, it's gonna be a bloodbath. Jack would despise everything Keroesa stands for, and Keroesa would accuse Isaac of having no moral backbone. But I think Ekela and Indigo might get along. They can bond over their shared experience of being relatively normal people who've inexplicably found themselves at the center of a crisis

[writinglyra]

60, 22, and 2 for Misha (and the others if you want)

2. What low-stakes thing will they always get disproportionately passionate about?

Tea. Misha is a tea junkie. Somebody died? Cup of tea. Somebody is getting married? Cup of tea. No offence is greater than seeing tea made the wrong way or somebody disliking tea. Misha will rant about tea until the cows come home and not even realise he's doing it.

22. Do they get road rage?

Misha does but only over big things.

60. Would they survive working in an office job? Would anyone else?

Misha would be great in an office but he definitely would be on HR's watchlist for gossiping about Co-workers or judging them openly.

[writinglyra]

🤡100 Silly OC Questions Ask Game🤪

I have really stupid thoughts about my OCs sometimes, and now you can too! Remember to send an ask to the person you reblog it from to make sure everyone gets to play!

How many full-sized pickles could they eat, if forced to eat as many as possible?

What low-stakes thing will they always get disproportionately passionate about?

Would they fist-fight someone over the last of something they want at the store?

What is their favorite PG swear word replacement? (ex: “frick” instead of “fuck”)

What song from their childhood are they never going to get over?

What terrible piece of media do they indulge in? Are they convinced it’s actually good?

What kind of prank are they most likely to get got by?

Do they make faces at babies they see in public? Are the babies enchanted or horrified?

How much money would they waste trying to get a cool prize at a claw machine game?

Do they have strong opinions on the word “moist”?

How much of the Monopoly board game could they take before flipping the table?

Do they agonize about where to put stickers, or slap them on anywhere?

What would they say is their fursona? What is it actually?

What is the worst haircut they’ve ever had?

Your character confidently turns to the audience and says, “Hey, check this out.” What are they about to fumble, and how badly?

Do women want them? Do fish fear them?

How easy is it to catch them cheating at a game?

Which side of the “pineapple on pizza” war are they on?

If they were asked to make a PowerPoint presentation on any topic, what would it be on?

What word do they misspell every time?

What non-edible thing would they totally eat if given the opportunity?

Do they get road rage?

What do they always lose, no matter how hard they try to keep track of it?

On a scale of “tiny kitten” to “middle-aged dad” how loud are their sneezes?

How do they distract themselves when forced to sit through something boring?

What video game would they spend a life-ruining amount of time playing?

What’s the dumbest way anyone has mispronounced and/or misspelled their name?

What is their least favorite form of exercise?

Do they make up excuses for their farts?

Would they ever get their tongue stuck to a frozen flag pole?

Which holiday would they abolish?

Are they any good at doing impressions of people or characters?

Which children’s cartoon would they get obsessed with?

How many books can they balance on their head?

What’s their preferred excuse for not attending an event?

Would they go outside and point enthusiastically at a natural disaster instead of sheltering?

Can they jump high enough to slap a street sign?

What kind of snacks would they sneak into a movie theater, and would they get away with it?

Be honest: do they wash their hands?

What is the most annoying thing they do?

What’s their biggest pet peeve?

Do they have games on their phone? Is anyone else allowed to play them?

Describe how hard they would fail at parkour.

Would they do numbers on Tumblr? Bonus: what’s their URL?

How would they get #cancelled on social media?

What would be their sitcom episode B-plot?

How terrified would they be walking through a haunted house?

This restaurant doesn’t have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?

Would they remember to move the frozen meat to the fridge?

What infomercial product would they be most likely to buy?

Are they susceptible to internet challenges?

Assign them a popular Vine.

Would they own a pair of Heeley’s?

How would 3 genie wishes ruin their life?

What is the perfect temperature, in their opinion? How passionate are they about it?

What are they hate-watching and why?

How broken is their phone?

Do they have strong feelings about musical theater?

Would they survive working in a customer service job? Would anyone else?

Would they survive working in an office job? Would anyone else?

Do they scream on rollercoasters? For fun or out of genuine terror?

How long would they last in a 5-star restaurant before getting kicked out?

Would they try to steal something from a museum?

How good or bad is their sense of direction?

Do they steal fries?

Are they brave enough to tell the waiter they asked for no pickles?

Would they win a dance-off?

What’s their go-to karaoke number?

How long can they last wearing the same outfit every day?

Would they win a game of beer pong?

They won the lottery! Where’s all the money going?

Have they ever tried a pet’s food, just to see if it’s really that good?

Describe their life in the style of a Chuck Tingle book title.

What would they go viral online for?

Which harmless animal activates their fight or flight instincts?

Would they fall for tourist traps while on vacation?

Are they always 15 minutes early, or 15 minutes late?

What embarrassing situation are they most likely to end up in the hospital for?

What are they most likely to have a secret shrine to?

Do they think cold showers are great or evil?

What sport are they the worst at?

How annoyed do they get when other people mess up how things are organized (or “organized”) in their space?

They’re left alone in a room with a whiteboard and ample colored markers. What happens next?

Do they feel guilty for walking around a store and leaving without buying anything? How easily would they crack under a sales pitch on the way out the door?

What do they think they’re an expert on when they really, truly aren’t?

What subject do they know a lot about that they assume everyone else also knows about?

What sorts of whimsical fridge magnets would they have?

How beat up do their clothes/shoes/etc. have to get before they finally stop wearing them?

Why are they like this? Wrong answers only.

What advice do you have for anyone saying, “I can fix them”?

Two of your WIPs are having a crossover (if you don’t have two, pick a random piece of media you like, or someone else’s WIP!). Which characters are getting along the best? Worst?

What candy are they always throwing in the trash on Halloween?

What’s the best way to beat them in a fight?

How would Bugs Bunny beat them in a fight?

Would they eat a chocolate covered cricket?

Can they open a tightly stuck jar on their own? Without breaking it?

Would they take a dozen free paint swatches from a department store, just for funsies?

There’s a massive spider making its home in the corner of their room. What’s their reaction?

Would they sneak backstage at a concert? What’s their goal?

How would they react to finding out they are a fictional character?

[writinglyra]

Thank you, Pris!

I tried to make it semi-cohesive. I'll tag @sourrcandy!

moodboard tag

rules ; search your name + core + aesthetic on pinterest, & then make a moodboard about yourself !

tagging ; @thewritersplace, @voidrealm-creations, @writinglyra, @koala2all, @the-down-upside-finch, & @caninemotiff

[writinglyra]

WTW PRESENTS OUR 49TH EVENT!

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society. . . WelcomeToWriteblr calls this event the Summerween Sleepaway Camp Crawl! Over the course of 19 DAYS, participants will be tasked with completing 19 CHALLENGES, by the end of which they'll have added a minimum of 5K WORDS to their chosen WIP!

THE SERVER

You MUST be a member of the server to participate. You must also give yourself roles from the role menu when you join. We only require AGE and PRONOUNS. If you need any help, feel free to ping the mods! Please try and join before JULY 13TH. Anyone who joins a week late (JULY 20TH) will not be accepted into the event.

HOW IT WORKS

The leaderboard will be based upon the PERCENTAGE of how close you get to your word goal. Anyone who reaches their goal before the end of the month will be asked to increase it to make the crawl more fair for slower writers. The TOP 3 participants with the highest completed word goal, and who have completed the 19 BONUS CHALLNGES, will receive a prize of their choosing—whether it be a playlist, moodboard, banner, or graphics! Additional information is contained within the spreadsheet accessible within the server’s designated event channels.

GATHER 'ROUND THE CAMPIRE, JOIN OUR SERVER HERE!

[writinglyra]

Some Updates and Getting Published

Hey guys. Sorry for once again vanishing from this blog for months at a time. It will probably happen again, but I'm trying to get back into writeblr for now, so I wanted to at least give some updates on my life.

Firstly, I graduated from college last month. Which has its pros and cons. Pro: I have more free time to write. Con: I've officially transitioned from being a student to being unemployed. We take what we can get.

Secondly, I've been published! Kind of.

Last year, I entered one of my school's creative writing contests sponsored by the English Department and won third prize for my flash fiction piece "A Requiem for the Endling". Which means I've officially been paid for writing for the first time in my life.

Part of winning was having my piece published in the university's literary magazine, so it's available for anyone to read online. If you'd like to read the piece that netted me a cool 200 bucks in prize money, please give it a chance. It's only 600 words.

It was published under my real name, but I don't have enough followers to worry about being doxxed. This felt and still feels like a monumental achievement for me and my writing career, and I just wanted to share it with you guys.

Thank you guys so much, and I hope to give you some more writeblr content soon. Love and starlight!

~ Lyra

[writinglyra]

post 5 songs you like then send this to 10 of your favorite followers ✨ (hi lyra!)

Hi! I'm using this as an opportunity to think about something other than my Heat Transfer final tomorrow morning. It's so hard to pick just five, so I went through my Spotify On-Repeat playlist and picked some highlights, presented in no particular order.

"Like a Staring Contest" by The Future Kings of Nowhere

"Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl" by Broken Social Scene

"Art Is For Amateurs" by Bug Hunter and The Narcissist Cookbook

"October" by The Toxhards

"Brother" by Gerard Way

[writinglyra]

WTW PRESENTS OUR 47TH EVENT!

For the month of February, we will be opening up our inbox to let writeblrs anonymously (or not!) send in appreciation letters to their favorite writeblrs through the blog and encouraging everyone to send in asks directly to your favorites.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE

Throughout the ENTIRETY OF FEBRUARY we hope you all will make use of WelcomeToWriteblr’s reach to shoutout your favorite blogs that you think deserve some spotlight and appreciation. These blogs can be your friends, your favorite writer, or even your favorite meme provider. As long as they are a writeblr—feel free to shout them out in our ask box! You're also free to submit multiple letters throughout the month, but remember that you can fit multiple blogs into one message. And don’t hold back your gushing! The whole point of this event is to share your appreciation, whether you do it anonymously or not. We hope you all take advantage of this event and we look forward to sharing your favorite blogs with everyone! 💘

GUIDELINES

Please don’t spam our ask box with the same exact message.

Be kind to every creator in your submission.

Hateful messages will be deleted.

NSFW content will not be posted to the blog.

Please be patient! We cannot predict how many submissions we will get, but it will take us time to answer them all regardless.

Appreciation letters will not be accepted after the END OF FEBRUARY, so get them in while you can.

But most importantly: don’t shoutout yourself! Spread the love!

XOXO, JOIN OUR SERVER HERE! (discord.gg/earlgrey)

[writinglyra]

I'm doing well!

🙏 and 🤕 for Misha (from @writinglyra)

Thanks @writinglyra 💜💜💜 (how are you??)

🙏 Is your OC religious in any way? Why or why not? Do they have other beliefs that govern them in any way?

Religion isn't an element in this WIP, but Misha holds the concept and practise of monarchy very dearly, it's his entire life. He believes in monarchy as the only system of order and goodness (some of his lines are like needles to the eyes to write, the ancestors are mad at me)

🤕 What is the worst injury your OC has ever suffered? Do they have any scars or lasting physical reminders of it? Do they get sick often or have any lasting medical conditions?

Misha once cut his leg falling from a very big tree and he lost a lot of blood (and had a very wicked scar on his leg). Misha doesn't get sick very often and never badly.

[writinglyra]

💍, 🎨 , 👽 for the ask game ❤️

Thank you, Renee! I'll answer these about Leyla from TPIWP.

💍 Does your OC have a specific item that is priceless to them but may (or may not) be completely worthless to someone else? Is there a story behind this item or is it just because they like it so much?

Leyla is probably the most sentimental of everyone in ASTER. She holds onto things that she associates with her mother, who died when she was a kid, more than anything. Her mother was an art curator, and one of Leyla's most treasured memories with her is from when she was maybe four or five years old. She took a crayon and scribbled a drawing on the wall of their house, but instead of berating her and cleaning it up, her mom printed out a little plaque, like she would do for the collections she curated, and pinned it up beside the doodle as though it were a piece of art on display. Eventually, it got cleaned up, but Leyla kept the plaque, and she has it in her HQ room right now.

🎨 Is your OC artistic? Can they draw or paint or do they prefer another medium? Are they a writer or musician or do they do something else? Give us a quick run down of what they can get creative with!

The previous answer probably gave this away, lol. Leyla comes from a family of artists (her dad is a conservator and her mom a curator), so she inherited a love of it. Not only does she draw and paint (she especially loves oils), but she also studied piano from a very young age. But more than that, she was/is a very talented ballet dancer. Before she joined ASTER, she competed in ballet at an international level, and even now she tries to dance as often as she can.

👽 Describe your OC as if they were an urban legend or myth!

Nobody is quite sure what happened at the Nine Points Mall that day. The official story--what they want you to think--is that there was a power surge, and a mass panic, and a tragic accident. But everyone who was there will tell you something different. They saw something that day. Something terrifying. Something they can never forget. A horrible apparition, dominating the sky. It came from nowhere, like a blinding murmuration of light, swallowing up the crowd and spitting them out just as carelessly. Just being near it, they say, would make your skin go cold and your heart rate quicken. And the damned few who touched it... they say it felt like pure terror, burrowing down into their bones. Like hovering on the edge of a nightmarish sleep, but unable to move. And when it swallowed those two men, they were never the same again. And most terrifying at all, a rare few will swear that it didn't come from nowhere after all. No. Much worse. It came from a girl. A terrified little girl. But not quite right. Maybe, something that looked like a girl... on the surface.

[writinglyra]

20 OC Questions

💀 Has your OC ever lost anyone to death? Multiple people? People close to them? How does the loss make them feel?

🙏 Is your OC religious in any way? Why or why not? Do they have other beliefs that govern them in any way?

💍 Does your OC have a specific item that is priceless to them but may (or may not) be completely worthless to someone else? Is there a story behind this item or is it just because they like it so much?

☄️ Does your OC believe in fate and destiny or do they think it’s a load of garbage? Would they ever get this fortune told? What would a fortune-teller tell them about their future?

📓 Write a typical diary/journal page by your OC! (or if you’d rather not, describe their journal. Do they keep one, why?)

⚖️ What is the biggest crime your OC has committed? Are they a theif, a cheat, a liar? What is the smallest, most petty crime they’ve committed? Or do they not do crime at all?

💰 If your OC had all the money they could ask for what would they do with it? Where would they go and what would they buy? Are they the only one who benefits from this wealth?

🤕 What is the worst injury your OC has ever suffered? Do they have any scars or lasting physical reminders of it? Do they get sick often or have any lasting medical conditions?

🍵 Are there any rumours about your OC hanging around? Nasty ones or just good humoured? Got any gossip to share about them?

🎨 Is your OC artistic? Can they draw or paint or do they prefer another medium? Are they a writer or musician or do they do something else? Give us a quick run down of what they can get creative with!

💧 What makes your OC lose hope, what makes them give up and feel helpless? Have they ever given up on something really important or let go of a dream? What are some of their biggest regrets? Would they ever try again (if they’re able to)?

🧠 Talk about your OCs mental health! Do they have any specific triggers or ways to practice self care? What are some things that are more difficult for them to do because of their mental health?

✨ If your OC were a deity of some kind, what would they represent? What do they look like? How are they worshipped and what offerings would they expect? What are their places of worship like? Their followers? Their teachings?

🎁 What would be the perfect gift to buy your OC? What would be the worst gift? Are they themselves any good at gifting things or are they really indescisive? How do they wrap their presents?

💗 Relationships? Who are their friends, their family relations, lover(s), foes? What sort of personalities really tick them off and what others do they like? Is there anything that’d ruin a friendship for them?

🕰️ Has there been an event that happened in your OCs past that affects their future or one that they think about still? Is this a bad event or a good one? What are a few of their childhood memories they can recall?

🗣️ What are the most painful words that can be said to your OC to utterly break them? What are the words that you could tell them to cheer them up? Maybe some advice to give them the boost they need!

👽 Describe your OC as if they were an urban legend or myth!

🗺️ Does your OC like going on adventures? Have they ever discovered something really interesting and significant or are they just too busy getting lost? Where is their favourite place they’ve been? Least favourite?

⚡ What are your OC’s phobias? Is there any reasoning behind these? How do they calm themselves down after getting scared? What are they like when they’re afraid? Is there any chance of them overcoming their fears?

[writinglyra]

This is so cool. I love all the water imagery. Thanks so much, ryn!

𝐖𝐓𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒; monsters and majesty

Happy holidays @writinglyra! Apologies on it being posted on the last day of the gift exchange I didn't my computer with Photoshop with me

[writinglyra]

WTW Secret Santa 2024

Happy Holidays, Megan (@thousand-page-dreams). Surprise, you're my target!

For my present, I wrote a short scene based on this excerpt you posted from your project, Glass Butterflies. I saw the potential for angst and decided to run with it. I hope you enjoy it and it's not too much of a downer.

The letterman smells like sweat, grass stains, and shampoo. And despite himself, Aaron pulls it into his frail, dark fist. It isn’t soft, anymore. Not really. But he fumbles for the initials embroidered on the breast: KC. He’s not far away. But it feels so impossible to be near him. Yesterday he saw a girl—blonde and loud and perfect—wearing her boyfriend’s jacket at the game, his steel-corded arms wrapped around her slender shoulders, and Aaron wanted to scream. The jacket was too big for her, dipping below her hips and hitting her thighs. But, in the autumn air, it looked like she was draped in his wings. Sometimes Aarons wants to carve KC’s name into the walls of his chest. Sometimes Aaron wants a world where he doesn’t have to. He leans back and tries to catch his failing breath. If KC could see him now… He’s not far away. There are stars stuck to KC’s ceiling. Constellations of plastic—spilling out in unsatisfying clumps and trails. So naive. A childish facsimile of the tapestry buried under those field lights. Aaron reaches up with the hand not creasing KC’s name as if to touch them, but he doesn’t come close. So he lets his wrist splatter onto his chest and rolls to bury his nose in KC’s scent. The girl in the jacket didn’t know what she had. Didn’t know how beautiful it was to be so effortlessly someone’s. It's unfair. Aaron doesn’t feel himself sitting up. He only feels his arms snaking their way into the sleeves. And then he’s a chrysalis, curled up on KC’s bed, staring up at a star he can imagine is a witness. He wants to stay like this forever. But KC isn’t far away. There’s something desperate in him, he thinks. He shouldn’t want this much.

This was really fun, and it was surprisingly refreshing to write something that wasn't for one of my WIPs. I can't wait to do it again next year.

[writinglyra]

Find The Word Tag

Thank you @charlesjosephwrites for tagging me. I need to find the words jealous, able, nerves, and who.

Jealous

"Jack is an ass," she confessed. "But he only said that cuz he's jealous." Isaac had to laugh at that. As if Jack would ever want anything that Isaac had.

Able

“Got a plan yet?” Diode asked. Vestige turned back to see the group huddled behind him, waiting. “I should be able to get in through roof access,” he said. “If we’re lucky I can shut down any equipment inside before they notice it’s happened.” “And if we’re unlucky?” Harpy probed. “Then you’re back up. As usual.”

Nerves

Jack just grunted. He hardly felt a thing. Years of his powers had scorched his nerves into chicken wire. Now you could slash him with a knife and he’d only think to complain about the bloodstain.

Who

“Oh, greater good my ass!” Indigo screamed. It felt good to scream. “Whose greater good? It’s not mine. It’s certainly not those ‘street urchins’ out there.” She gestured to the alley blindly. “What gives you the right to claim the greater good? Who made you the moral authority here?”

I will tag @wingedcatastrophe @asablehart and @lexiklecksi to find the words page, wild, desperate, and sun.

[writinglyra]

Bringing this back.

Spotify Wrapped Prompts!

I saw this floating around tumblr, and wanted to steal it myself lol

Send me a number 1-100, and I’ll write a lil snippet based on the corresponding song!

[writinglyra]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games. to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.