xeno-philius-blog1 - Tumblr blog

[xeno-philius-blog1]

Hey everyone,

So, this is incredibly difficult for me to even type out, but I think I’m going to be saying goodbye to CRT. I feel like I’ve really dropped the ball activity wise, due to lack of muse and time, and I don’t think it’s fair for me to hog such a wonderful character without the time or motivation to devote to him. Like i said, this is super hard for me to do, because i absolutely adore every single one of you and your incredible characters and I’m going to miss writing with you all so very much. This has been hands down the best group of people i’ve ever had the pleasure of writing with, and you all have inspired me in my own writing countless times. Thank you all so much for the hilarious and heartbreaking plots, and for all the enthusiasm you all showed towards my beloved little nut job. And best of luck to the new admins, who have been and will continue to do an amazing job with this group. If anyone wants to keep in touch (please do!) you can still reach me on skype or on my personal.  I love you all very very much, and hope you all go on to wonderful things!! <3 

Love,  Crystal + Xeno

[xeno-philius-blog1]

buriedunderbones:

To feel genuine and instant camaraderie with a practical stranger was a rare and nice phenomenon. Edgar had never understood how people made friends so quickly or even just connected with others in a meaningful way. He was often the odd one out, left to his own devices. It was not that he minded being that way, just that he sometimes wished for a companion. Xeno was friendly and raw in a way that Edgar could never be, but still they were similar in a lot of ways. “I like being me.” He agreed. Despite the misfortunes that often accompanied it, he was happy with the way he was. Occasionally he wondered what it would be like to be more normal, like his brother Isaac or sister Amelia, but in the end the fantasising was futile. Besides, they couldn’t draw like he could. Their differences made them beautiful, even if his beauty was often melancholic.

 A disappointed sigh overcame him and he slumped slightly. “Why are some people so stubborn and unwilling to learn?” The question was rhetorical, but it did not make him any less desperate to know. Their world was full of such close-minded people and Edgar could not help but pity them. “There is so much more to life and oftentimes they choose to ignore it. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand…” He trailed off, once again caught up in his thoughts. 

His flush deepened, face turning a warm shade of pink at the praise. Xeno’s smile was so bright that it caught Edgar off guard. He wasn’t sure that anyone had directed such a grin at him before and his stomach bubbled with happiness. Perhaps, his idea was not as ridiculous as he’d originally thought, if the reaction was anything to go by. “Thanks, I, uh, just want to do something nice. For the thestrals too - it’s such a shame that creatures so magnificent are rarely seen.” The animals were not to everyone’s taste, but Edgar loved them. “I’ve done some dragons, but those were only with picture references. Sometimes,” He whispered secretively. “I go to the forbidden forest and see what else I can find.”

Xeno still couldn’t understand the pinkish tint that was quickly consuming Edgar’s face. Not one to really understand social ques as it was, he couldn’t grasp where this embarrassment - it was embarrassment, wasn’t it? Maybe? - was stemming from. Nevertheless, the reaction was endearing. Although Ed had every right to feel pride in his art and what he was doing with it, he emanated nothing but humbleness. What a beautiful and rare thing to see in a world overflowing with arrogance and undue pride. Xeno found himself nodding, yet again, If he stuck around this guy more often, Xeno mused, he’d end up with a sore neck from all the nodding. Though, he didn’t think he would mind. He really rather enjoyed Ed’s company. 

At the mention of dragons, Xeno’s eyes widened to a degree that seemed physically impossible. “Do you have those on you? I’d love to see them. No, you’ve probably scattered them already, eh? Maybe?” His face and tone were a roller coaster of excitement, disappointment, and rekindled hope. His sincere interest in Ed’s art couldn’t have been more obvious. He glanced over his shoulder at the ominous woods in the distance at Ed’s second comment, and turned back with a conspirators grin on his face. “The forest, eh? You know that’s against school rules.” The comment sounded more like praise then admonishment, and their was a laugh just hidden beneath the surface. “Dumblydore would have your head. Invite me along next time? Might as well give him a matching set of blonde’s to even out his mantle.” Here, the laughter finally burst through, and Xeno enjoyed sitting there, giggling with the other for a moment before actually remembering why he had come down here in the first place. As his laughter subsided, he swung the worn looking guitar from behind his back to rest on his legs. “I’m hopeless with a pencil,” He gave an appreciative nod to Ed’s sketchbook. “But i work with what i do have,” A similar nod to his guitar. “To immortalize things in my own way.” A gesture to the thestrals in the distance. Then, suddenly, he seemed just the slightest bit timid, as if he had overstepped his bounds. “Would you uh, care to hear? Feel free to say no! It’s a work in progress anyway.”

do you see them too? | ed & xeno

[xeno-philius-blog1]

fabian--prewett:

Autumn | Hogwarts

@xeno-philius

The unnaturally swaying branches of a tree drew the attention of the meandering Ravenclaw as he walked the grounds on the crisp autumn afternoon.  Fabian knew the signs of a person climbing a tree well and curiosity drew him like a magnet, begging him to investigate.  It took some time to reach the spot but when he arrived he found himself at a loss.  There sat a figure in the branches, as he’d expected.  He even recognized the person as one of his fellow Ravenclaws but they were in deep study of…something.  Fabian turned his head this way and that trying to discern what exactly they were seeing.

“Hiya,” Fabian called up.  “Anything interesting up there?”

Of all the trees in the grounds, this one was Xeno’s favorite, specifically for its close proximity to the lake. If he had shimmied out farther on his branch, he would practically be over top of the water. He didn’t take his wide eyes off the glistening surface, even when Fabian spoke. At this point in his life, Xeno had accepted his tendency to hear the occasional voice or two, so he didn’t immediately attribute the comment to another person. “Not yet,” He mused, eyes still fixed on the dark glass of the water. “But hopefully, soon.” A beat passed, during which it seemed to click in Xeno’s mind that there was a person watching him from below. He tore his eyes from the lake and looked down upon a vaguely familiar face and robes that matched his own. At the sight, a grin appeared on his face, and he tilted his head like a curious puppy. 

“That depends, actually! Can you sing? No, what am i saying, of course you can. Come on up here.” He waved him on animatedly, patting a branch beside him in a welcoming way. “Mind the third limb on the left on your way up, looks stable, but it’s deceptively wobbly.”

The View from Here | Xeno {Past}

[xeno-philius-blog1]

gretacatchlovc:

Saying that she had a low opinion of herself would be too far when the Hufflepuff knew that she had a lot to be proud of but she was also aware of the things she judged to be flaws - or that others might find fault in - and she’d always found that poking fun at yourself was the surest way to make someone laugh without causing any offence. She couldn’t help but grin once more at the next word he used to describe her, once again choosing to see it only as a compliment. “Brazen, huh. I’ll be sure to add it to my detailed list of traits.” Laughing lightly, Greta couldn’t help but think that she should she ever need a reference for something, this was the man she’d come to to get the best portrayal of her possible. “You’ll be able to describe me better than I can describe myself at this rate.”

Nodding slightly, she could accept his view on it even if the romantic in her would still give love more credit than it was perhaps due. “I think it conquers as much as people let it. If people have closed their hearts to it then not a lot can be done but if they’re willing then I think anything is possible.” She pauses slightly, taking a sip of her drink. “I suppose they do but it’s generally a love of something that makes them then feel fulfilled. Though I guess there are some who prefer hate and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand that.” The frown that had settled on her features with her last words fades into a smile as she shakes her head gratefully. “Oh no thank you. If I hadn’t been drinking then I would but the last time I got a bit experimental didn’t end all that well for me.” 

Xeno cocked his head, hair flopping to the side, and grinned at the girl. “Oh? I don’t know about that. No one can no anyone else better than that person know’s themselves. At least, i should hope so.” He paused and seemed to be in thought. “Hm. Maybe i should ask around. If i’m wrong, i could learn quite a bit about myself from a real expert. Should be interesting. But!” He snapped out of his reverie with a shake of his head. “I’ve made observations about you, a relative stranger, i’d hardly say i know you. But i would certainly like you.” He ended his mini rant with a kind and genuine smile. He found Greta to be very interesting, and such a pure little bundle of joy. She was the kind of person the world needed right now, with a war raging on.

He was about to respond to her remarkably profound and thoughtful comments when a loud bang interrupted him from outside. He had the fleeting thought that just by thinking of the war for the brief moment he had jinxed the evening. He spun round and, his worst fears realized, saw people running just outside the windows. Spells were flying. Something was happening. He grabbed Greta by the arm and fought through the suddenly panicked crowd to lead her deeper into the building. He deposited her in a corner, and put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her with a sternness that he hadn’t worn all evening. “Stay here. Stay safe. Was loving meeting you.” With that, he grabbed his wand and dashed out, ready to face whatever mayhem was erupting in Diagon Alley.

[END]

[xeno-philius-blog1]

Oh, Brother II Xeno & Regulus

{ @regulusb }

One of the first things that Xenophilius learned when he became a part of the Wizarding world, was that it was oh so much fun to be a gender-fluid wizard. Sure, there were the taunts and jeers at Hogwarts like there would have been at any school. Muggle or magical, there was no escaping the cruelty of children. He could, and did, live with it. Teasing had always rolled right off his back anyway. He was far too busy being excited. To Xeno, being genderfluid in the muggle world meant donning a dress and makeup now and then. But in the Wizarding world? When he was feeling feminine, he could very nearly change anything he wanted to fit the image of the day! And so it was that poor Regulus Black didn’t stand a chance when he entered the Apothecary that day.

Xeno saw the young boy enter the shop and gave a cheery wave. Reg was a regular after all, they’d gotten to know each other rather well. With no customer pining for his attention at the moment, he stepped out from the counter and began combing the shelves for the items on Reg’s normal order. As he swayed out behind the counter, a knee length, blue and white dress, with lace sleeves danced above black combat boots and lovely legs. The dress was flowy, but the belt at the waist perfectly played up Xeno’s already fairly feminine body shape. The fluffy scarf wrapped around his neck disguised his flat chest. His hair was magically extended from it’s usual shoulder length to somewhere between his shoulder blades. His eyes were made up in pale gold, lips in petal pink, and when he called over his shoulder to Regulus, the potion he had brewed that morning served it purpose well, elevating the pitch of his voice just enough to give it that feminine sing song quality.  “Will you be needing more Dittany today, Regulus, or is the bit i sold you last week still holding up?”

[xeno-philius-blog1]

I like art, and by art I mean music, poetry, sex, paintings, the human body, literature… All of this is art to me.

 Hunter Reveu (via franki-e)

[xeno-philius-blog1]

mistressofsorrows:

Dolores kept quiet for a moment, just filling the air with the sounds of the patron’s banter and the sounds of glasses clinking. Umbridge was taking in the aesthetic of the place, it was poorly decorated and certainly is a place for those who were casual and more open to bacteria covered counters and chairs. Yet, she was here and Xeno was a genius for luring her into a place such as the three broomsticks. She took a few more sips of her drink before turning her attention back to Xeno, sure the silence between them must have been awkward but she did have a thing for leaving a subject dangling in the air for a moment. A brow rose when he mentioned having dresses and how his mother envied them, his mother must be as crazy and eccentric as Xenophilius Lovegood.  She did not make a comment about it, she only smirked and nodded her head, biting her tongue trying her best not offend him any further.

“Well, what if I take you shopping? Try on some proper clothes, maybe open your eyes to a new sophisticated world…My world? And…” Dolores took a breath and a long sip of her drink before continuing, bracing herself for what SHE was about to say “And in return… I try on your choice of clothes.” she said those words as if she were swallowing back down vomit.She did not know where that idea has come from but maybe the sherry in her hand had something to do with her decision making. “What do you say?”

Okay, so her idea wasn’t crazy. Not by his standard of the word. But oh yes, it was interesting, and Xeno was hooked. He wasn’t opposed to trying out a new wardrobe. He’d try anything twice. It may surprise most people, considering his usual appearance was lazy and laid back, but he did enjoy fashion. His outfits, messy as they may be, did have thought behind them. And then there was the offer of picking an outfit for her. He could tell she hated the prospect, and that just made it so much more amusing and appealing to him. Plus...he couldn’t help but think just how nice she would look in a pair of ripped skinny jeans... If he wasn’t already sold, that would have done the trick. He slid off his bar stool, grinning devilishly at her. “You’re on.” 

When they’d both downed the rest of their drinks, they exited the bar together, and Xeno offered his arm to her. The contact spike his anxiety a bit. He wasn’t a fan of physical contact with people he wasn’t entirely comfortable with. However, the closeness was essential to side along apparition. They spun on the spot and landed discreetly in an alleyway right off a high street in muggle London. The area, he knew, was home to many a posh clothing boutique. There were also some of his favorite thrift places nearby, so he figured it was a good place to start. “Lead the way.” He said amicably to her, gesturing up the street. He eyed the stiff looking clothing displays in the windows and grimaced slightly, wondering, both excited and weary, about what kind of outfits she might stuff him into. 

Whiskey & Wine ll Dolores & Xenophilius

[xeno-philius-blog1]

hcstia-joncs:

While Hestia liked to think that she was funny, she definitely was not the kind of person to think that she was hilarious. Her out-of-place puns and wordplay usually got a few people rolling their eyes or giving her an annoyed groan. But Xenophilius, still somehow unexpectedly, found Hestia’s jokes to be some of the funniest things that he had ever heard. At least … it appeared that way. She gave the man a confused attempt at a smile in return. “Oh, well, nicknames are a funny thing, aren’t they? I wouldn’t put stock in them unless you want to take it on yourself.” She chuckled at his comment about his mother. “I’m sure it was her way of keeping things entertaining. But then again, I suppose if you ever got in trouble, you could blame it on Lewis, whoever that actually was.”  What did not surprise Hestia about Xenophilius was his forgetfulness, the ease with which he would answer a question about his requests as if Hestia had asked him if elephants could fly. “Have you tried unfolding the swans?” she asked, mostly trying to be helpful and only slightly laughing internally at the idea of Xenophilius tediously unfolding paper swan after paper swan. “I suppose a Muggle printing press was out of the question, too?” Most witches and wizards didn’t think twice about enchanting a Muggle printing press to produce Wizarding materials, moving pictures and all. It was much easier to buy one from a Wizarding company and trust that they knew what they were doing.  Hestia nodded gratefully for the tea before adding a touch of cream and sugar. Xenophilius continued speaking the whole time, and his words were definitely a ‘mixed bag’ of sorts. While he didn’t seem to enjoy reading the Prophet, his words about Hestia’s work in particular were complimentary. More than that. Just reading an article she wrote, one of the many that were tucked away in middle-to-back pages, was a compliment. Actually analyzing them and thinking about who wrote them instead of simply what was written … that was something far more than complimentary. “I – that’s – I don’t know what to say. That’s … so lovely of you to put so much thought into what I wrote. And I do understand, the Prophet does have some issues. I just – I don’t know if I can invest in a publication that I have little knowledge about. … no offense intended, of course.”

Xeno prepared his own tea in front of him. No cream, but oh my, so much sugar. He’d put texas sweet tea to shame. He nodded along to her commentary about nicknames as he stirred his tea with an almost comically small spoon. The whole table setting was reminiscent of a scene from Alice in Wonderland. And there he was, the Mad Hatter, across from the sweet and beautiful Alice, who needed to be persuaded to take part in his harebrained scheme. He found a perverse sort of joy in her confusion about his mother calling him Lewis. It would be rude, albeit entertaining to leave her hanging like that. “Oh no, you see, Lewis was me. I was Lewis. I’m Xenophilius now, though. An improvement, i think.” He left it at that. Whether or not this cleared things up for her, he didn’t really mind. He wasn’t in the habit of explaining things excessively. Especially when the confusion was so much more fun.

His face took on a sudden grim seriousness at her question about the swans. “Oh, have i tried. But, the blasted things bite, you know?!” He tutted his tongue. “And they seem so adverse to being unfolded, anyway, that i just can’t bring myself to do it. As for a muggle press? Eh.” With that, he shrugged off the topic, remembering that they did, in fact, have business to attend to. He had to stifle a laugh at the hidden pun in the phrase ‘the prophet does have some issues’. Issues? Get it? Oh and it went right over her head?! What a waste. But funny as he found it, he knew they were getting down to brass tax, and he maintained his composure.

Her closing statement, far from offending him, seemed to excite the man. Like a child hearing the prospect of a trip to Disney, a wide grin spread across his face, and he pulled his legs up beneath him so that he was now crouched on the bench, arms resting on his knees. “Ah! Yes, but you see! That’s the beauty of the thing!” He let out a somewhat mad sort of laugh. “I don’t know anything about it either! How can you know about something that doesn’t yet exist.” His voice lost just a bit of it’s manic glee, and there was a seriousness in it’s place when he spoke again. “The wizarding community deserves unbiased truth. They deserve to know what is out there, who is doing what, what is coming their way.” He lowered his tone, almost whispering in a conspirator’s sort of way. 

“Miss. Jones. We are facing the very real possibility of an Orwell-esque dystopian future if things don’t change. Brainwashed witches and wizards, prattling on about the newest fashion and the ‘might of the ministry’ as power and control quietly change hands before our apathetic eyes! There is nothing more dangerous than an appeased and ignorant society.  Media has that power. To reassure, to confirm and deny, to sedate. That kind of power cannot remain solely in the hands of those who are chasing only their own fulfillment. The corrupt elite cannot reign unopposed!”  Xeno paused and took a breath. He ran a hand through his hair, and managed a smile. “That’s where we come in. A counter point to the mainstream media. Open facts in the wake of boldfaced lies. Fighting ignorance with free thought. It’s the only way to take a stand against the Prophet and their agenda. And what if, God and Goddess forbid, the Ministry were to fall to the Death Eaters. Hm? What then? We let the people be brainwashed by dark wizards? No. There has to be an alternative. And i want you to help me create it. And that’s the thing, we’re creating this from the ground up, from nothing. You’ve heard my vision, but should you accept, we’re in this together.” He sat back slowly, surveyed her. “Now tell me. What would you have it be?” 

who’s there? | xeno & hestia

[xeno-philius-blog1]

Here’s your gift.

          I know this is very late, but I wanted to make sure you still got it. I absolutely adore both you and your portrayal of Xeno. They’re such an amazing character and I can’t wait to get to play opposite them. 

AHHH I AM FREAKING OUT AT HOW AMAZING THIS IS. The attention to detail is so incredible and flattering and i love it so much thank you thank you thank you thank you i’m getting so many fun hcs just watching this, you got his character down perfectly, from him to the house to the mismatched furniture, even the music, this is incredible and i love it so much thank you jess!!! <3

[xeno-philius-blog1]

characters: xenophillius lovegood

PHILLIP GALLAGHER;; the protective brother;; SHOWTIME’S SHAMELESS

       phillip, though his friends and family call him lip, was top of his class. high school was nothing for him, he glided through it without an issue. it was college when he realized how the world actually worked. it was there he learned that he didn’t want to be a mindless sheep like the school would make him.

@xeno-philius

[xeno-philius-blog1]

marliism:

Brown eyes began shining excitedly at his reaction. She’d never been horrendous with potions, or creating anything really, but she also certainly wasn’t the best. Her alcoholic inventions were, primarily, only appreciated by Marlene and on the nights he agreed to them, Dirk. Although really, truth be told, many a night they stuck purely to the basics. Certainly nothing was ever as beautiful of intoxicating as Xenophilius and his brilliantly colored drink that now resided in her hands. Taking another drink, she could feel the liquid beginning to buzz through her like a special sort of magic. “Let me know when you put them to use, yeah? I’ve gotta say I’m curious what you’ll come up with.” 

A single eyebrow raised at his suggestions, a grin spreading onto Marlene’s face. She had an addictive personality, one that left destructive behaviors to be strongly desired. No matter how viciously she tried to battle it, nothing seemed to quench it. Learning to only accept it and ride through the waves that came with it happened long ago, made easier now by Marlene’s always present desperation to forget her pain. “Well, my dearest, I like to say I’m always up for everything.” She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows in a dramatic fashion. “And my reality has gotten really fuckin’ overrated, so whatever you suggest I will be happy to play with.” 

I like her, Xeno decided on the spot. This seemed like someone he could have an absolute ball with. And tonight was going to be the start! But don’t push it, you’ve only just met, his reason reminded him. So? The ecstasy countered. Damn those drugs, always so persuasive. And lil’ miss marley seemed willing enough. Xeno downed the rest of his drink in one swig and tossed the little glass behind him. it made a satisfying shattering sound against a tree. Oh, sweet chaos. Xeno lived for nights like these. Nights that were free from rules, free from expectations. If he wanted to trash his yard tonight, then he would, and who was to stop him? He had full control of the situation, and chose to relinquish all of it. Anarchy in its purest form. He only wished that society would follow suit and see just how liberating it could be.

But they wouldn’t. Not for a while, at least. Not all of them. But right now, he had Marlene by the hand, and she was following and that was enough. First things first, he wanted her to join him on cloud nine. Instead of bringing her aside, he dragged her into the center of the throng. There were people dancing like there would be no tomorrow on every side of them. It wasn’t like he needed to hide what he was doing, and there is where one needed to be when the drugs hit them. Right in the center of the action, drowning in music and energy. He grinned excitedly at her. “Alright,” He had to raise his voice to be heard over the din. From his pocket he produced a small light blue tablet pill. There was a smiley face imprinted into it’s surface. 

“I say we start with this, and see how you’re feeling?” He realized that he could barely be heard over the music, and moved closer to her so that his lips were right near her ear, his hand on the space where her neck meets her shoulder. There was something about the high he was on that made a person crave intimacy, in its most innocent form. Touch, closeness. Things he usually was very particular and anxious about. But when he was rolling, he found himself becoming very touchy, because it just felt right to be. “It’s a happy pill, you’ll love it, promise.” He could have told her more about it. What exactly it was, what it would do, but...part of him was curious to see just what kind of risks she would take, to see if she would trust him. He slid the pill into her hand. It was the same ecstasy he was on, another of his own concoctions, altered to make it just the tiniest bit hallucinogenic, and effective more quickly. 

the dollhouse effect | Marlene & Xeno

[xeno-philius-blog1]

opheliapomfrey:

        There was a flicker in his eyes that worried her, as if he wasn’t quite here with her, but somewhere else altogether. A paralle universe that threatened more death and destruction than this one held, and where every moment was a walking nightmare. Sometimes drugs were more effective than human warmth, and she worried that the ones in his system had taken such a deep root in his being, that she’d be fighting to hold onto the person who was practically a sibling to her. 

       She’d forgiven him far faster than he had himself, bearing first the silly bandaid he’d placed over it, and then the scar with pride. An adventure, when she’d always had so few. And despite her mother’s warnings to stop hanging out with ruffians, she’d adored Xeno’s friendship all the more for the unpredictability it brought into her life. But at the moment, she was witnessing the destructive force within the man, so much stronger than she’d realized at first. Dirk’s frantic worry not truly realizing itself in her until now, because she truly believed that if it’d taken her a while longer to get to her friend, she might’ve found him dead. The monsters tugging at his mind now having been allowed to fully consume him.

       Ophelia knew that the muggle drug wouldn’t have as potent effects as the ones in display in the fellow blond, so her gaze was quick to follow towards the mess of other potions he’d poured over the muggle concoction. Most of them dangerous on their own, but mixed together? It was a wonder that the Belladonna hadn’t done him in yet. Thankfully, it offered her the information she needed, eyes already skimming around the mess of Xeno’s caravan to find the potions she could combine to heal him. The vial she’d already mixed together was handed over, gentle hands clasping it firmly in Xeno’s grasp. “Drink this, for me?” It wasn’t especially strong, just something to clear his stomach and hopefully get out the worst of the poisons. But she knew that the night would be rough, LSD not as toxic to the body as other drugs, but it left it’s grip on the mind long after the core effects had washed away. Stress, negative thoughts – she knew she had to do her best to keep them at bay, especially given that they already seemed to be overtaking Xeno’s mind. Grabbing a few bottles and doing her best to ignore the stench of alcohol that came from the dark bottles behind them, she made her way back towards Xeno. 

       Sitting crisscrossed on the floor next to him as she crushed a few ingredients together in a pestle. “I’ve been meaning to tell you – I’m up for a position as an actual healer!” Although her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence with worry, the enthusiasm in her words was true. Hoping that the news might cheer Xeno just as much as it had her, and that it’d bring back a sense of normalcy to the scene that might help ground him. “They’re going to watch me a bit, to see if I’m doing well enough for it, but Ted thinks that I should be fine.” She’d added the ground up ingredients to a tiny kettle she’d found lying around, wand twirling the mixture absentmindedly as her free hand extended towards Xeno’s. “But as much as I appreciate the practice, you’ve got to start being more careful. We’re all worried for you, you know?” The words were a light admonishment, stressing the part that he had people who worried more than the actual lecture. 

       She needed him to know that he was loved, and that his absence in their world would be a hole that couldn’t be filled in. The potion she was brewing bubbled absentmindedly next to her, and with a squeeze of Xeno’s hand, she sprinkled a few blossoms of chamomile into the liquid, hoping that the smell would help bring a sense of calm even before the entirety of the potion was ready. 

A liberating, and slightly frightening sense of freedom washed over the boy on the floor as he realized that Ophelia’s binding spell had released him. She needed him to be able to move, for some reason. She wouldn’t have done it otherwise. ‘A danger to himself and others’, he probably would have been labeled if he was carted into Ophelia’s work right now. That was fair. The reason for his newfound freedom was made clear to him as he felt something touch his fingertips. Something cold and smooth. He noticed in the back of his mind that he wasn’t tracking things. The bottle was here now, in his hands, and maybe he had seen it moments before, but for the life of him he couldn’t explain where it came from. Didn’t need to. He knew what it was, or might have been. 

And then Ophelia spoke again and Xeno laughed. A great bark of laughter. And it felt incredible and slightly painful. Drink this, she said. “Drink me, Alice. ” Xeno managed in response, still laughing slightly. “But what if i should shrink, ‘phelia?” There was a manic sort of tone to his quivering voice as he made the reference, but it somehow helped him to make the connection, and before he, or the drug could second guess the action, he’d downed the bottle in one practiced swig. It slithered down his throat like jellied slugs and he detested the feeling. With startling clarity, he felt the cold liquid slosh into his stomach. Must look like a crime scene in there, someone thought. Might have been Xeno, he wasn’t sure.

When Ophelia spoke again, the joy in her voice was like sunshine through a grimy window. Bright, beautiful, out of place, and heavenly. In the midst of all of this war, this fighting, the chaos in this very caravan, the demons swimming on the verge of Xeno’s vision, there sat Ophelia, smiling. In that moment, Xeno was certain that Ophelia was the most beautiful person in the world, and that she, and she alone, could get him through this. She would never hear the end of his gratitude, if he survived this. And what wonderful news! It made him happy. Incredibly, surprisingly happy. He only realized later how clever she was in her timing, and how helpful it was for her to say that in that moment. He even managed a smile, the shadows submissive before the light of their combined happiness. “ ‘phelia, congratulations! That’s so grea-!” 

Before he could finished his exclamation, a swooshing sensation filled him, from his stomach and up through his throat. He turned his head away from her just in time and vomited all over his own carpet. A light bulb clicked on in his head. The first potion was meant to get whatever he had shoved into his body out. Oh, you clever witch. Despite knowing this, shame caused him to flush a deep red. Before he could apologize, the upheaval overcame him and he puked more. When the sensation had finally passed, he did feel immensely better. The visuals were still there, and he was trembling and sweating from head to toe, but he felt slightly more in control of his faculties. 

“I’m so sorry.” He managed weakly as he fell back, sitting up against the wall now. a danger to yourself and others. and others. The thought came back to him unbidden and forceful. ‘we’re all worried for you, you know?’ It didn’t take a genius to know who the ‘we’ was. The friends, like Ophelia, who were constantly left to pick up his pieces. And suddenly, like a film reel, memories flooded back to him. Bonfire. Much too drunk. ‘you nearly set your damn hair on fire, mate!’. the quarry. ‘xeno! xe- get the hell back!’ ketamine sure messed with your depth perception. brooms, flying to, somewhere. slipping, falling. ‘lost your grip, huh? good thing we got you, haha’. never take xanax and fly. 

Guilt flooded xeno’s every sense, leaving no room for any other emotions. The physical effects of the drugs he was on even paled in comparison. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeated the phrase over and over, even though she had no idea what all he was apologizing for. Tears leaked from his eyes, feeling like ice on his hot skin, but they didn’t freeze, and they didn’t stop, and next thing he knew he was sobbing. Ophelia didn’t deserve to deal with this. None of them did. He didn’t want her to worry. Not about him. He wasn’t worth that. “Y-you should go. I’m okay-ay. Really” He tripped, hiccuping over his words. He didn’t want her to go. In fact, he desperately needed her to stay, but the guilt was talking. He felt like a burden. He would ride this out on his own, or die trying. She’d already done enough. 

Dream (E)scape ll Xeno & Ophelia {Flashback}

[xeno-philius-blog1]

frankxlongbottom:

May 16, 1979 | 2 pm | Park

Frank had gone to the park to clear his head. The sweet spring air mixed with the warmth of the sun beating on his skin gave a false sense of serenity in the world. The world felt distant and the hollow feeling inside Frank was unending. Part of him desired to feel things, but he was also terrified of what he might do. He came so close to leaving all those whom he cared about, the thought of that desire returning was paralyzing. Frank hadn’t allowed himself to be alone in private since he had almost left the home he shared with Alice.

The time he spent in the park surrounded by strangers was the closest he had felt to peace. The guilt of all he had done still pressed on him as though it were trying to crush him into the earth itself, but it was a lessened feeling from the crippling intensity which had been haunting him. He strolled on the paths naming the different plants to himself, calming himself with the rhythmic recall of facts which he hadn’t been paying enough attention to as of late.

It was during this stroll, that Frank saw a familiar form a ways in front of him. The lean form with platinum hair was unmistakable as Xeno Lovegood, one of the people who had been with him on the night everything came crumbling down. Frank jogged to catch him, his muscles rejoicing from the slight use. Frank fell in line next to him placing a careful hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Xeno.” Frank flashed a half hearted smile the expression awkward without the actual joy to put behind it despite the fact that he was happy to see the man. “How have you been since…” Frank paused he hated mentioning the incident which had put this terrible chain of events into motion. “everything?”

@xeno-philius

There was no peace in solitude. In the silence, thoughts raged at Xeno like wildfires, and his guilt ridden mind was a parched grassland. He felt his sane mind being swiftly and greedily consumed, and feared that if he didn’t find escape soon every positive aspect of himself may cease to exist. In the maddening long hours of every day, he felt tension and energy coursing through his every muscle. He was anxious constantly, wound like a spring, ready to snap at any given moment. He desperately needed to do something. He craved an outlet for the energy. Ideally, he’d find something productive, something that repaired the damage his stupidity had caused, something that helped someone. But so far, the only outlet he’d found was breaking old beer bottles with a bat. Not very productive.

He wasn’t sure when he had made the decision to come to this park, or if he had made a decision at all. He got the impression that his feet had merely needed to go somewhere. His mind and body were simply along for the ride. In ordinary circumstances, the pleasant breeze, the colors of the leaves and trees, the scent of flowers on the air, or the sound of bees gently buzzing in the distance might have brought him some calm. But, to his dismay, the usual solutions weren’t working today. While he may have looked to anyone like a man simply taking a casual stroll, his fist was balled tight by his side. As pleasant as the scenery around his was, he couldn’t escape the images that kept projecting themselves into his mind. The chaos inside the ministry. The terrified faces of the innocent people who got in their way....

A voice , too familiar, too relevant to the scenes in his head, sounded behind him and he felt his heart skip a beat. His head swung round so fast he nearly cricked his neck. His eyes were wide with alarm as they fell on Frank, and even recognition didn’t immediately calm his panic. Frank was a reminder of that night. The night when he was suddenly forced to reevaluation everything he believed. There was a hand on his shoulder. He swatted it away on reflex. “Frank.” He half spoke half sighed the word. “You’re damn lucky i didn’t jinx you, mate. Hi. Sorry, uh.” He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his racing heart and heavy breathing. “Been feeling rather like roadkill that’s been tarred, feathered, and set aflame.” He blurted out in a cynical sort forced-casual rush of words. A deep breathe followed and he attempted a close lipped smile that convinced no one. “Been faring better yourself, i hope?”

Finding a Way Forward - Xeno & Frank

[xeno-philius-blog1]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Dinah seems to be settling in nicely. She’s warming up to me, but still more timid than i would have liked. Understandable, though. She’s been through so much. Haven’t we all? I bet she misses her Mom. The poor girl… FUCK i wish i could have saved her. Saved any of them. It was my fault. Or, Aversio’s fault. Who am i kidding, they’re one in the same, aren’t they? But I digress. I saved the kitten. At least i did something. It has to be enough. She didn’t have a name on her tags, so I named her Dinah, after Alice’s cat. Dinah likes grilled plimpy, and mango. She doesn’t like the collar I got for her, stubborn little thing refuses to wear it, but that’s alright. I can understand that, too. I need to pen a letter, i think, and thank that Amos Diggory fellow. I really wouldn’t have found Dinah without his help, and he fixed up her leg really well. He seemed…very kind. I’m not sure if he helped me for the sake of the cat, or perhaps we’re friends now? It’s so hard to tell with people, especially in this day and age. I think i should like to be friends with him, though. I don’t dig the fact that he works at the ministry, but just maybe it can be overlooked. I think i’ll invite him around again. To check in on Dinah, of course. 

@amxsdxggory

[xeno-philius-blog1]

How long is your muse’s penis?

5.5 inches, and more slender than he'd be proud to admit.

[xeno-philius-blog1]

What is a deal-breaker when it comes to dating someone?

When it comes to dating, Xeno is actually somewhat picky. He falls for people so easily, but is particular about who he dates. Cruelty in any capacity, especially to animals, is a definite deal breaker. And harshly judgmental people are a no go as well. 

[xeno-philius-blog1]

46. What is your muse’s first thought upon waking up?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Xeno is a complete zombie when he wakes up, as his insomnia usually keeps him up most of the night. He’s also not a morning person, and usually doesn’t form a coherent thought beyond “why am i awake” until after he’s had his coffee or tea.