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[xinandmagicat]

A man stood on a street corner waiting for his online girlfriend, surrounded by few pedestrians except for a rose seller. He had been persuaded to buy 99 roses at a price 50% higher than the market rate.

Glancing at his phone, he saw the time and his unread messages. He had been waiting for an hour. A parking ticket was stuck to his car window. The rose seller looked at him with pity and asked, “Buddy, when were you supposed to meet your girlfriend?” The man rubbed his hands and said softly, “7 PM.” The seller remarked, “It’s already 8:15 PM, buddy. Did she stand you up?” The man said, “Shut the fuck up, just sell your flowers.” The rose seller replied, “I’ve only got 5 roses left, it’s too cold, I’m out of here.” Fifteen minutes later, the seller left, leaving the man alone. There was no one else on the street. Suddenly, a shadow appeared, but the man didn’t see it. It was a chubby shape holding a kitchen knife. It flashed again, and this time the man noticed. He turned his head to look, but the shadow didn’t hide. The man saw another pair of ears standing upright on the shadow. Then, a scream was heard from the street corner. A fat ginger cat walked across the rooftop. It jumped into a girl’s arms, who was holding it and said, “Damn it, if you hadn’t spent so much time in the litter box, I wouldn’t have been late.” The cat meowed softly, with blood on its paws, thinking: “You are mine, only.”

[xinandmagicat]

Once upon a time, there was a little green monster called Ugly Thing. Nobody knew where it came from. It was loved by Mrs. Daniel, who found it weak and almost unconscious by the side of the road. Mrs. Daniel had recently lost her 20-year-old cat, which was cruelly killed by a neighbor. Even though Ugly Thing didn't look very nice, Mrs. Daniel took it home, let it sleep in her cat's old bed, and even tried to get a doctor for it. But when the vet saw Ugly Thing and didn't recognize what it was, he refused to treat it. So, Mrs. Daniel used some tips she learned from ChatGPT to take care of it herself. Within a week, Ugly Thing's color changed from purple to blue as it started feeling stronger. After another week, it was completely better and turned green again.

Later, Mrs. Daniel bought a leash to take Ugly Thing for walks every morning and evening. But Ugly Thing liked walking on two legs, just like a person. Once, it even grabbed ice cream from a kid and hit them. This made Mrs. Daniel very sad. Wanting to make things right and not upset Mrs. Daniel, Ugly Thing gave the ice cream back to the kid, although by then it was just an empty wrapper. Deep down, Ugly Thing felt superior because it had once eaten a homeless person, leaving only a finger behind. That person had taken too much cocaine, which is why Ugly Thing overdosed and ended up unconscious on the street.

One day, Mrs. Daniel and Ugly Thing ran into the man who had killed her cat, walking his Husky. In a quiet voice, Mrs. Daniel told Ugly Thing what the man had done, and Ugly Thing seemed to understand. The next morning, the man found his Husky's bloody head on his bed.

—— another story writing exercise from Story Writing Class

[xinandmagicat]

I put some dark matter in the salt shaker in my mom's kitchen, and Schrödinger's cat popped out, saying that this shaker would create a violation of the law of conservation of energy. So, my dad emailed this law to a recently fired tenured physics professor at ETH Zurich, but he told my dad he got the wrong guy and should've emailed a physicist at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem instead. However, Israel was in the midst of a war, so the email got bounced back. My dad got a bit annoyed, so he drank a beer with dark matter in it. When the dark matter mixed with the beer and entered my dad's stomach at the speed of Earth's gravity, merging with his stomach acid, it created a new element not found on the periodic table. That afternoon, my dad had diarrhea, and his waste went down the sewer, flowed along the Yangtze River into the East China Sea, then into the Pacific Ocean, where it neutralized the harmful substances in Japan's nuclear wastewater, saving the mutating marine life. And the fish at the supermarket said, “Thank you,” and the customers scream and run out of the supermarket. THE END.