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yobitchimhere · 4 months
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hello, tedoire 46 please? thank you :)
Tedoire - 46 is a kiss out of envy/jealousy. Get ready for some TOOTH ROTTING TEDOIRE FLUFF. Read below or on AO3. French translations below.
...
“You’re staring, Vic.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
Dominique sticks her tongue out and points her nose toward the Hufflepuff table, where Teddy Lupin is grinning and laughing with that flirty Gryffindor sixth-year, Seraphina Podmore. 
“It’s breakfast,” Victoire says primly, spreading jam on her toast. “No one wants to see that when they’re trying to eat.”
“You mean people being friendly?” Dominique goads. Victoire is tempted to smash her sister’s face into her porridge.
Victoire sits up straight and attempts to mimic her mother’s cool, indifferent aura. 
“À quoi ça sert d’être une Veela,” she mutters, “si seuls les garçons moches vous aiment?”
Dominique rolls her eyes at the comment and returns to her porridge. Victoire knows she’s prettier than Seraphina. It’s not as if Seraphina had a pile of valentines delivered to her a week ago. It’s not as if the Gryffindor girl can make boys swoon with just a look. 
What does precious Seraphina have that Victoire doesn’t? 
“Maybe he sees you like a sister or a cousin,” Dominique offers, pushing a goblet of pumpkin juice at her. “We practically grew up together.”
Victoire frowns deeply. It’s true—there was never a time she didn’t know Teddy. He was always there in the background, at birthday parties, weddings, and weekly Sunday dinners. He isn’t a Weasley though, not like her actual cousins. 
“He’s coming over, Vic.” 
Dominique’s elbow in Victoire’s side makes her wince, just as Teddy comes to sit at the Ravenclaw table, right next to Victoire, with an apple in his hand. 
“Wotcher, Vic,” he says, pushing the turquoise fringe out of his warm, brown eyes. He sees Dominique and musses her hair playfully, earning a scowl from the younger Weasley.
Perhaps the cousin or family theory is right, and that’s why Teddy’s never looked twice at her. Victoire suddenly remembers that cousins have been married before, without letting their familial relationships get in the way of true love. Besides, she and Teddy aren’t even blood cousins!
“You look like you’re laying an egg,” Teddy says, as he grins and takes a bite of his apple. “Bee in your bonnet?”
“O.W.L.s,” Victoire replies automatically, feeling decidedly unattractive and embarrassed after Teddy’s compared her to a bloody chicken. 
“Need help with anything?” He takes another bite of the apple and wipes away the juice left behind on his chin and lips. 
It’s so unfair that he’s fit, handsome, brilliant, and—
“Victoire,” Dominique says, stabbing her with a fork. “Teddy asked you a question.” 
“Come again?” Victoire is certain her face is as red as Gryffindor’s crimson.
A class bell rings and students are leaving; Victoire’s got a study period first thing in the morning and Teddy’s not moving. 
“Il est amoureux de toi, imbécile,” Dominique whispers rapidly and harshly into Victoire’s ear. “Ne partez pas encore. Les garçons sont des idiots. Embrasse-le pour qu’il sache que tu ressens la même chose.” 
Dominique wags her finger at Victoire and the third year waltzes away, joining her friends on their way to Charms; Victoire wonders if she can get away with slapping her later.
“Don’t you have class?” Victoire says nervously, realizing she’s quite alone with Teddy at the Ravenclaw table.
“Not till the afternoon. Sprout’s got us monitoring the Mandrakes and they’re, er, getting busy this morning.” Victoire nods in understanding and he adds, “Besides, I wanted to see you. It’s been ages since we last talked.”
“Ages?” Victoire smiles nervously. “We saw each other the other day, at Hogsmeade.”
Teddy makes a funny sound and waves his hand. “You were with your girlfriends and I was on Head Boy duty. It doesn’t count. Two minutes isn’t enough with my favorite Weasley.”
Victoire feels fluttering in her stomach and heat radiates to the tips of her fingers and toes. “I’m your favorite Weasley? Not—Jamie or Al or Lily?”
Teddy arches a turquoise eyebrow. “Jamie, Al, and Lily are Potters. You’re a Weasley.”
“Oh, right.”
“Sera said the same thing,” Teddy tells her. “Jamie might be a Potter, but he does look an awful lot like a Weasley.”
“Sera,” Victoire repeats, sniffing disdainfully. “Seraphina Podmore.”
“Did you see her earlier? She’s wicked funny and clever—”
“—I did. She seemed to be having a good time with you.”
“She’s a good friend.” Teddy’s brows come together. His apple is down to its core and he swings his leg across the bench, facing Victoire directly. “Did I say something wrong? You’re—you look upset.”
Kiss him, Dominique said. Boys are idiots.
Teddy’s mouth is slightly parted and he’s got a confused, adorable look in his eyes. Victoire swallows hard, trying not to stare at his chiseled jaw, kind, gentle eyes, or his full, perfectly kissable lips.
“Seraphina—”
Victoire closes her eyes and cuts him off, covering her mouth with his so lightly, so briefly, she wonders if it happened, but when she tries to pull away, he growls and brings her face back to his.
He tastes like a tart apple and feels warm, but firm against her face. Victoire doesn’t know where her hands should go but they find his hips and settle there as he deepens the kiss and pulls her closer. She obliges and feels his fingers creeping away from her face, finding her arms, waist, and—
“AHEM.”
They break apart at once and Victoire’s jaw drops when she sees Professor McGonagall eyeing them sternly.
“Mr. Lupin,” she says briskly. “Miss Weasley.”
Victoire is mortified but Teddy is smiling. 
“I apologize, Professor,” he says. “As you know, I took the matter of inter-house relationships very seriously when I became Head Boy.”
Victoire isn’t sure if McGonagall is amused or offended. The Headmistress takes five points away from both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and orders them out of the Great Hall, but doesn’t assign detention. 
Teddy helps Victoire gather her things and they run out to the Entrance Hall, both pink in the face and glowing. She thinks, just for a moment, that she might have been dreaming it all. 
“Room of Requirement,” Teddy whispers, his eyes flashing back to the Great Hall where McGonagall is watching them. “Eight o’clock. I’ll be done with rounds. That is—” A charming blush creeps onto his face. “—if you want.”
Victoire squeezes his hand and grins. 
ship kiss asks
...
French translations: (correct if wrong, my dear Francophones)
“À quoi ça sert d’être une Veela si seuls les garçons moches vous aiment?” = "What is the point of being a Veela if only the ugly boys like you?"
“Il est amoureux de toi, imbécile. Ne partez pas encore. Les garçons sont des idiots. Embrasse-le pour qu’il sache que tu ressens la même chose.” = He's in love with you, you imbecile. Don't leave. Boys are idiots. Kiss him so he knows you feel the same way.
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yobitchimhere · 10 months
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18+AUDIO
I just wanted an excuse to share a good 18+ audio😓 HEAR ME OUT THO!!
THIS PERSON SLIGHTLY REMINDS ME OF ELLIE AND NOW I PRESENT TO YOU A MASTERPIECE CUZ HELLO??? this whole audio is actually like so wholesome it's cuteeee like wtf. Anyways! Give THIS a listen or not 😴
(also her other audios are pretty good !!)
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yobitchimhere · 2 years
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Headcanon 6
Percy Weasley got his first tattoo at the age of 16 at a Muggle tattoo parlor.
After that first tattoo, when he came of age, he got 3 more.
No one found out until after the war where all the brothers were at the Burrow and he was getting out of the shower and George came in and saw his tattoos.
And you know that George can’t keeps a secret.
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yobitchimhere · 2 years
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yobitchimhere · 3 years
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“What were you doing in the 90′s, Julien?”
“I was learning how to walk.” (x)
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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how HOW is this the same fucking sentence I...
“you held me like I was your anchor to the planet and I'd never had a better snog.”
Like wtf even is fan fiction at this point
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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When u take out a tampon and forget to put another one in
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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I will only except if it’s  pronounced fuck-e-o
ginny: i'm gonna cast my favourite spell
ginny: fuckyou
ginny: *giant middle fingers sprout out of her wand*
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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When I call you “B” it can mean ‘bitch’ ‘boi’ or ‘babe’
When I call you “BB” it can mean ‘Bitch boi’ ‘baby’ or ‘bitch baby’
I will never tell you which one you are.
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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i always feel like a shitty Femme because most Femmes i know don’t shave their legs/body but do wear makeup, but i’m the opposite. never learned and have little desire to wear makeup, but often shave my legs/body. am i alone or are there are other Femme lesbians who do the same???
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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wolfstar headcanons
remus was taller than sirius
remus used to lift sirius onto the counter when they were making out (and sirius almost fainted the first time he did this)
whenever they were standing together doing nothing, sirius used to leave hickeys on remus' collarbones
he had to stand on tiptoe to kiss remus
remus always brought that up to tease him
remus was the big spoon
remus kisses him awake every morning
every morning, sirius turned around to make out with remus
they were usually late to breakfast for...reasons
remus tops. i mean come on
whenever remus flirted with sirius, sirius was a flustered mess
sirius carries remus' bag when he was too tired after a full moon
remus loved running his hands through his boyfriend's soft ebony hair
they were always touching. not in a sexual way, but like they would always be holding hands, or remus would be braiding sirius' hair while he talked to james
this one time for christmas sirius sat under the tree, completely naked apart from a bow around his neck, saying he was remus' present
needless to say, they didn't make it down to dinner
sirius loved distracting remus while he was studying
he almost failed an exam because of this
they loved kissing and could do it all day if they could
after hogwarts, they got married and lived together in a cottage in the woods
nobody. died.
and then they all lived happily ever after.
the end.
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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Shout out to all the characters that have there periods because while there fighting the villain and are on the run with barely any food they somehow managed to deal with the Red Devil as well  literally goddesses.
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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Can i pretty please get some hurt Sirius with some protective/caring Remus. It's my weakness ❤️
Of course! The Librarian also loves these two boys taking care of each other, and hopes you enjoy this list.
Remus taking care of hurt Sirius
Renewal by @byebyebluejay
After the events of Harry's third school year come to a close, Remus takes Sirius back to his woodland cottage. In a tender tribute to renewed friendships and old feelings, Remus takes it upon himself to ensure that Sirius receives some of the personal care he had been made to live without for so long.
Sweet Nuthin' by @kattlupin
When the summer between third and fourth year begins, Sirius expects it to be nothing but lazy days, harmless pranks with James, and the occasional meet-up with the rest of his friends from Hogwarts. Those plans go out the window rather quickly when he gets a sudden glimpse of Remus Lupin, a mysterious boy who changes everything about Sirius Black's life and shows him that love will always win in the end.
Honeydew by @quoththethestral
Healer Sirius Black feels like his life is going through the motions. He is still recovering from the tragic death of his best friends four years prior while doing his best to parent their five-year-old son. However, when a new patient's encounter with a mysterious creature leads him to contact a person from his past, his life gets shaken up into one giant beautiful mess that he isn't sure he knows how to handle.
This is You and Me by Children_of_the_Shadows
The first time Charlus Potter met Remus Lupin, he was reminded of a past he was trying to forget. The first time Dorea Potter met Remus Lupin, she was reminded of her own limitation. The first time James Potter met Remus Lupin, he was indifferent. The first time Sirius Black met Remus Lupin, he threw a punch to his face.
Thanks for asking the Librarian!
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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omg I love the idea of Teddy being Remus and sirius' son and friends with Harry! Do you maybe know more people who have done anything with this because I love it!
C'est la vie by cywscross
The war ends on Harry's twenty-first Halloween, and, one year later, with nothing truly holding him in that world, Fate takes this opportunity to toss her favourite hero into a different dimension to repay her debt. A new, stress-free life in exchange for having fulfilled her prophecy. A life where Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived instead, James and Lily are still alive, and that Harry Potter is relatively normal but a downright arse. Dimension-travelling Harry just wants to know why he has no say in the matter. And why he's fourteen again. And why Fate thinks, in all her infinite wisdom, that his hero complex won't eventually kick in. Then again, that might be exactly why Fate dumped him there. +100,000 words, not finished, last updated 2015 (yes i wanna cry)
The devil's white knight by orphan_account (teddy's a child but is wolfstar's son)
When Harry wakes up in an alternate timeline--a timeline where Voldemort was defeated long before the first war--he discovers everything is different. His parents, his godfather, his friends--and him. Harry must deal with the consequences of who he would have been if he had been raised by his parents, and figure out where he stands with his casual hook up, Draco Malfoy. +64,000 words, finished, +sequels.
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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Holly shit
The first time that they kiss is over a hospital bed, and it doesn’t count, because Draco is on duty and potter is on painkillers, and honestly, potter, this is the third time you’re here this week, it’s only wednesday, but Potter laughs and says with that lopsided grin, it’s not my fault dark wizards don’t take vacations, and Draco says, but healers do! what did I ever do to deserve having you as my patient? and Potter laughs and drags draco forward to plant a clumsy kiss on the corner of his mouth and slumps on the bed again, and it’s fine, because Harry is high on meds and Draco could pretend this never happened if he tried hard enough, but Harry is letting Draco bandage him up and he’s still grinning and Draco has to force himself to take his eyes away from brilliant green.
The second time that they kiss, it’s Christmas, in Ginny’s homecoming party, after a wildly successful quidditch season. Draco knows it was a bad idea to be here when he steps through with Pasny and Blaise to see Potter laughing with Ronald, and more so because all people present are couples and it’s just Potter who’s left for Draco to spend the evening with and wouldn’t small talk just be lovely? but then Potter’s eyes light up when he sees Draco, and he says, Aha, good, you’re here. fancy a seeker’s game, one on one? and Draco should say no, but says yes and maybe when Harry catches the snitch Draco doesn’t feel beaten, he feels alive and it’s entirely Potter’s fault. so he swooshes his broom to Potter, and kisses him square on the lips, and Potter laughs and kisses him and laughs again as he says, maybe you should have kept that kiss until midnight, and Draco says, oh, I’m sorry, is the number of kisses between us finite? how many do we have left? and this time when Harry laughs, it’s bright and more heady than any number of times Draco’s caught the snitch.
The eighth time that they kiss, Draco’s lost a patient. he can’t take St. Mango’s white and bare walls, and even the thought of being alone in his flat nauseats him, so he closes his eyes and when he opens them he’s in front of Grimmauld Place, and when Harry opens the door, his small smile vanishes and Draco suddenly regrets coming here, but Harry asks what happened? and Draco says I lost someone, and understanding flashes dark in Harry’s eyes, and he drags Draco inside, let’s him sit on his sofa and gives him tea and kisses him between sips as if he needs Draco as much as Draco needs him, and that thought is absurd, but it’s nice and Draco lets comfort settle deep on his bones.
The fifteenth time they kiss, Harry is moving around in the Grimmauld Place kitchen, Kreacher is moaning about wrong cooking etiquette, and Draco is sat on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs and eating little trinkets idly. he yells comments at Harry to do random things - he doesn’t know what the random things would do, in the context of cooking, but it’s fun to watch Harry alternate between grinning and looking distraught. Harry gets tired of it, eventually, and decides to shut Draco up with his mouth, and he tastes like chocolate and cinnamon and I love you, Draco thinks, but all he says is you got flour in my hair and Harry laughs, snaking his hand in Draco’s hair more thoroughly.
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance
hahaha
i just read gay porn
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yobitchimhere · 4 years
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Hi! Do you have any recs on fics with our two idiots pining obliviously and with really, really good build up until they *finally* get together? It's not a must, but bonus points if it has sexual tension + smut. Ty so much for this amazin blog, btw
Hello and thank you for your patience with this list! The Librarian has searched and thinks you’ll enjoy these fics that feature pining, and they’re all rated Mature or Explicit. Happy reading!
Wolfstar Pining + Smut Fics
The Other Side of the Wall (or Laundry Day is Every Day) by BluBerd  Sirius has never been the most moral of people, but he's pretty sure that wanking off to the sounds of Remus having sex is crossing some sort of line.
AMOR VINCIT OMNIA (love conquers all) by @remus-john-lupin​ Remus, a servant boy to the cruel Emperor Voldemort, meets Sirius, a charming nobleman. Together they fight for freedom and love in Ancient Rome.
the summer you let your hair grow out by @holdoncallfailed​ an AU story in which sirius decides to go to remus' house when he runs away, rather than james'. remus finds this situation to be trying in more ways than one. includes gratuitous references to twentieth-century cinema and music.
This Is Not Your Year by montparnasse 1979, year of war and obsession and sleep loss and sexual frustration. Sirius is hoping to go out with a bang and not a whimper; enter Remus, stage left.
If you’re looking for a fic, ask the Librarian! 
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