yokoshizu

[yokoshizu]

Улучшение первой главы «Заткнись! Заткнись! Заткнись!»

Good morning.

I wasn't planning to make posts in Russian on this blog and intended to focus solely on English ones. But, as they say, «The morning sun never lasts a day.»

I'm excited to announce that I have edited, expanded, and improved the first chapter of my fanfic about Ezkayn «Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!» (only in Russian for now)

I've added numerous descriptions, write much more about the characters' emotions and feelings, and included hyperlinks in the text for two references. The length of the first chapter has almost doubled— from four to seven pages.

The second chapter will also be improved soon. I hope to accomplish this within the next week. English translations will also be updated. Thank you!

Итак, теперь на моем родном языке.

Спешу сообщить, что я отредактировала, дополнила и всеми силами улучшила первую главу своего фанфика по Эзкаинам «Заткнись! Заткнись! Заткнись!»

Добавила множество описаний, обращений к переживаниям и чувствам персонажей, сделала в тексте гиперссылки на две отсылки (простите мне эту случайную и смущающую игру слов). Объем текста первой главы вырос практически в два раза — с четырех до семи страниц.

Вторая глава вскоре тоже будет улучшена. Надеюсь, что в ближайшую неделю. Переводы на английский также будут обновлены.

По существу это все. Если вы хотите избежать погружения в мои чувства и тревоги и просто прочитать главу (впервые или заново), то предупреждаю, что далее последует нытье автора.

Хочу сказать, что очень люблю Лигу Легенд как игру, Heartsteel как сеттинг, Эзреаля и Каина как персонажей, и Эзкаинов/Каинэзов как пейринг. И мне бесконечно жаль, что первый блин получился комом. Что две первые главы «Заткнись!..» вышли... так себе.

И все же даже в их первоначальном варианте нашлись люди, которые ответили искренними вниманием и любовью на мои неловкие попытки написать что-то стоящее. Прошу, знайте, что без вашей веры в эту работу, она бы никогда не продвинулась дальше первой главы. Огромное спасибо вам!

Я не намерена так просто сдаваться. Я хочу улучшить текст, сделать его глубже, приятнее для чтения, наполнить большим смыслом. В «Заткнись!..» правда вложено очень много сил, переживаний и времени. Поэтому если вы слышите об этом фанфике не впервые, уже успели прочитать первые главы и разочароваться — прошу вас попробовать дать этой работе второй шанс и прочитать исправленную версию первой главы. Возможно, что-то изменится.

Сейчас в главе присутствует как новый, так и старый вариант текста, чтобы желающие могли сравнить обе версии.

Для меня дествительно важно, чтобы эта работа дарила читателю радость. Вот и все.

______________________________

— Вы встречаетесь?

— Встречаемся?! Что за дичь?! — возглас Эза получился громким, полным чувств и совершенно непроизвольным. Похоже, негодование, которое не удалось выплеснуть на обидчика ранее, тем не менее нашло выход в ответе на этот безумный вопрос.

Стоило позволить себе возразить, как сразу стало легче. Но мерзкая досада в душе никуда не делась. Сам случай был неприятным, и, что уж темнить, довольно мерзким. И с каждым днем таких случаев между ними с Каином становилось все больше.

Но если эмоции Эза уже шли на спад, и он вновь обрел способность думать и размышлять, спрашивал себя о причинах их с Каином постоянных ссор и недопониманий, то сам Каин испытывал нечто совсем иное. Услышанное заставило его почувствовать в груди мерзкий укол обиды и непонятный гнев, который стремительно превращался в ярость.

— Мир рухнет раньше, чем я соглашусь на подобный пи**ц. Захочу отношений — найду себе кого-нибудь покрасивее, — губы скривились от неприязни. Он не то фыркнул, не то усмехнулся и через полуприкрытые веки снисходительно посмотрел на Эзреаля, отрицательно покачивая головой из стороны в сторону: — И уж точно не неженку и нытика. ______________________________ Спасибо за внимание. ❤️

[yokoshizu]

Blade in the Dragon's Embrace — Chapter 4: The Question.

Hi, dear! ^^ So it's the fourth chapter of «Blade in the Dragon's Embrace»! It should be my New Year's gift to you but… Well, I hope you're not too angry?.. ❤️ P/s I am worried about this chapter with all my heart... ________________________________________

«Each life has its own place in time and space. Your time has not yet come, and there are still many places where you are needed. I had already asked you once before, but now... I'm going to repeat my question,» the measured and steady voice sounded like an incantation. Although Elio always spoke with such certainty, as if he knew everything in the world, it didn't bother Blade. After all, there were reasons for that. And for the same reasons, the Hunter trusted his words. «Now that you know you willingly chose to become immortal, do you still wish to die as zealously as before?»

Silence hung in the air. He had already answered this question once, and therefore he wanted to immediately clarify everything — after all, has anything changed now? They both already knew what the swordsman would say.

And yet... Something was different. But Blade's conviction in the truth of his past words remained too strong for him to feel it.

Today already seemed unbearable to him. There was no longer any strength left to seriously think about his silence.

However, whether he brings clarity now or later was not important — nothing will change.

«I ask you to reconsider this question. One day the right answer will definitely be found,» concluded Destiny's Slave.

[yokoshizu]

Blade in the Dragon's Embrace — Chapter 3: Avoidance

Hello! So, I have posted the third chapter of "Blade in the Dragon's Embrace" — "Avoidance" on AO3.

I want to invite you to delve deeper into Blade's feelings and thoughts. The chapter can be quite painful, and it has some warnings, so please read the tags before reading!

As is tradition, I am immediately sharing a small excerpt.

By tradition, I immediately post a small piece of text.

_______________________________________________

«You’re so bony after all... So much that one needs a pillow,» the blacksmith noted, deliberately dissatisfied and sullen. It turned out to be inexpressibly difficult not to laugh, but he absolutely needed to hear the vidyadhara's answer.

«Well, excuse me, oh sophisticated sir! Next time, I'll be sure to bring a feather bed, otherwise I couldn't please you!» The High Elder burst out indignantly.

This is exactly what he was trying to achieve. Laughter could be unleashed now.

Yingxing was demandingly but gently pulled by the ear.

«You know, I don't think my past incarnations allowed anyone to lie on their knees!» The embarrassed vidyadhara proudly lifted his chin. «So you, one might say, are the first and last such lucky person!»

The laughter became even more sonorous and sincere. He, a mere mortal craftsman, is lying on the knees of such an important person — one can't even imagine such a thing on purpose! Yingxing was having so much fun that he grabbed his stomach with one hand and closed his eyes with the other. The High Elder crossed his arms over the chest and closed his eyes, waiting for his interlocutor to regain the composure.

Yet, Dan Feng couldn't help but smile as he looked at him.

«Sorry-sorry!» It was finally heard much more restrained. «Really! You're just so funny sometimes. I can’t deny myself the pleasure...»

The vidyadhara's gaze filled with warmth. He began to leisurely run his hand through the gray hair.

«I rejoice so much when I hear your laughter and see your smile... It brings me true happiness,» the words were full of tenderness. The voice that spoke them sounded affectionate, like a warm sea breeze.

Yingxing lifted himself and sat on the ground. He turned to Dan Feng and gently touched his cheek. The man slowly approached his lover's lips and whispered softly, blowing his warm breath over them:

«I’m like that only with you.» _______________________________________________

P.S. I'm exhausted from spending the night translating, but nevertheless, I'm going to post one more chapter today.

[yokoshizu]

New Year's updates and smth about writing

Hi! I want to share the New Year updates' progress. More details will be in the replies :3 "Blade in the Dragon's Embrace." Chapter 4: "The Question" — ~ 25-30%. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Interlude: ??? — ~ 40%.

Yep, I slightly renamed my RenHeng work. Please, don't lose it! I hope to prepare the chapters on time. Or I'll just spend with them 28th and 29th night. You may ask: 'But you can release the New Year's update on the 31st!' Well... there are updates' plans for the 30th too :D

*Coughs and takes a deep breath*

Today I received a very valuable advice about my writing. It concerns contextual synonyms. At first, I didn't understand what the problem was, and, to be honest, I still feel that I haven't fully got it, but... it would be strange if everything came easily and immediately, right?

Now I do understand that I've been overusing them, and it has affected the quality of my texts. As an experiment, I decided to edit the first chapter of "The Blade" because it's short and was written a while ago, making it probably the best candidate as the first "patient."

I spent five hours to edit six pages. Getting rid of unnecessary synonyms and making the remaining ones more specific were really challenging. Now I have a feeling that the quality of the writing has improved, but I'm not entirely sure.

So I've asked four people to read both versions and share their impressions with me. I'm patiently waiting for all the feedback, but the first opinion has already given me hope. So, if the new version would be better, it will replace the old one (without any changes of plot).

I want to edit all chapters of my fanfics. There aren't many of them for now. Yes, it means a lot of work, but it doesn't matter to me. I just want the writing's quality to improve. I'll warn about the editing in the New Year's update so everyone can save the previous version.

I'm a bit disappointed that I won't be able to do everything by New Year's, which led to a brief panic, so initially I wanted to tackle everything at once. Fortunately, I was stopped in time and advised to focus primarily on the new chapters (which are indeed the most important).

But I'm not really sad. So don't be sad either! Yes, I feel a bit exhausted, but when it's hard for me, I reread the huge amount of kind things you have written. I often thank you for them, and I'll never tire of doing it because they are priceless to me — and it's not just words. Links to both of my works:

*Gratefully bows*

[yokoshizu]

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! — Chapter 1: ***

“And yet you didn't tell them you two are just fucking…” Rhaast's mocking words echoed in his head. “I was hoping to see how the boy would react to something like that…”

“This is already clear. He's fully aware, and the rest don’t need to know even that,” the pink-haired guy responded quietly and with a hiss.

“Cut the crap, kid! I heard in your thoughts what you actually wanted to answer to the handsome boy at the end!” The mockery turned into laughter.

“Just try it, you bastard...” The rapper clenched his lips with force. The lad wanted to respond to his alter ego out loud, so he quickened his pace, running up the stairs to leave his bandmates behind as quickly as possible.

“Always yours!” A-HA-HA-HA!!! Kayn, how did you even come up with this?!” Rhaast laughed. After the demon had chuckled a bit, he added sarcastically: “You're going to confess to him any day now!”

“I have nothing to confess! I hate him!” The pink-haired guy almost shouted these words, but he slammed the door so loudly that only Rhaast could have heard them.

[yokoshizu]

Blade in the Embrace of the Dragon — Chapter 1: The Hunter and the Prey met again

“I'm sure you agreed to gain immortality yourself,” Dan Heng blurted out with feeling.

What followed happened quickly.

The man jumped out from his chair, grabbed Dan Heng by the neck with one hand, and pinned him to the wall with thud. A grimace of anger appeared on his face.

“I thought we would talk about our past, not lie to each other in attempts to avoid guilt,” Blade wickedly said through his teeth. “I promised not to hurt you, but if you're going to lie…”

The young man's back ached from the blow, his neck was painfully clenched in the man's steel grip.

But Dan Heng knew he was telling the truth.

He winced in pain and continued:

“Why would I lie? And what was the point for Dan Feng to risk his life and doom his…”

Dan Heng was afraid to utter the next word. As if it were heavier than all the others said today.

“...lover to endless torment? What's the point in all of this?”

[yokoshizu]

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! — Chapter 1: ***

“Fighting again?” said someone. In a second, both guys turned their heads towards the sound and saw Sett on the staircase. K’Sante was also coming out of the corridor. Nothough out of the ordinary, it was time for breakfast. K’Sante raised his eyebrows with surprise and asked:

“Are you guys together?”

“Together? The fuck?” Resentment that Ez couldn’t pour onto the pink-haired guy, still found an exit in his reply to that question.

Kayn felt a nasty stabbing feeling in the chest and anger that he couldn’t identify.

“The world will fall before I agree to shit like that. If I ever want a relationship, I will find someone nicer.” Kayn curled his lip and either snorted or grinned, it was difficult to tell. Then, squinting, he condescendingly looked at Ezreal. “And definitely not a whining sissy.”

The green-haired young man was starting to boil. His bandmate’s words wounded his self-esteem and… something else? He wanted to cry, but he couldn't confirm the title of “whining sissy” in the eyes of others.

[yokoshizu]

New Year's chocolate!❤️

I can't help but brag about my incredibly talented mom – she made and decorated these chocolates for New Year's gifts herself!

My mom is passionate about cooking as a hobby, but sometimes when I look at her next masterpiece, I start to doubt: can you still be considered just an hobbyist? 🤔

(I know what you'll say, but it's not flattery, it's the purest truth!)

In fact, my mom cooks everything great.

Thanks to you in our family, fresh and soft bread emerges from the oven every weekend. We happily eat homemade cheeses, savor handcrafted marshmallows, and know that the chocolate you make is the most delicious.

It would be a lie if I said I'm not worried about you, when you always try so hard and somehow manage also to work, but I endlessly love and appreciate every bit of effort you put in. ❤️

[yokoshizu]

I love it so much <3