your-queer-dad - Tumblr blog

[your-queer-dad]

the constant censorship of trans lives, art, & love on social media is vicious & purposeful btw. i cannot stress how important it is that you share trans voices, frequently & loudly

[your-queer-dad]

This video made me cry so I wanted to put it here

[your-queer-dad]

do you have trouble making appointments? do you want to change your legal name or start HRT? don't know where to start?

im going on an international trip at the end of the month, and while it's mostly paid for, it's still going to cost a lot and I'm terrified of going to another country without having some kind of cushion. (it will cost $10 a day for cellphone data, for example.)

given that I lost my job I'm picking back up something I've done in the past, which is offering my ability to sort out paperwork, hunt down information, and call people on the phone - to your benefit!

for $10, ill make any appointment or call you've been putting off, hunt down and write up what you need to change your legal name or start HRT and more!

if you don't need these services, consider donating on the behalf of someone who can't afford it. i accept and maintain slots donated on behalf of others. this post will be updated with the amount of open slots. if you see one and can't afford it, or you can and want to take me up on my offer, send a DM my way!

donated slots: 4

[your-queer-dad]

reasons.

[your-queer-dad]

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 ANTI DEPRESSION BAT ATTACK 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

[your-queer-dad]

Don't kill yourself, please.

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi dad, I was just reflecting on the “In case no one told you growing up” post you reposted. My parents were in my life but were both very emotionally unavailable when I was growing up, and I’m kinda realizing how much my parents didn’t really….teach me how to be a human? It just feel like they just left me on my own with a lot of things like this. I’ve also felt like they’ve emotionally neglected me throughout my life, so perhaps little me was getting neglected in a couple ways. It makes me sad. :( I wish someone was there for me when I was little. I’m still feeling like I’m catching up to other people now. Anyways….this is just kinda drawn out way to say, thank you for being here for us like this <3

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and I am so sorry you were treated like that. Little you deserved better and you deserve better than being neglected. I am so proud of you and the person you've become, despite everything- and you're always welcome here. 🫂🫂

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

hey queer dad,

im questioning weather or bot my family would accept me for being trans(ftm), i know they support the lgbtq but when i brought up even using they/them pronouns for myself my parents seemed to be extremely uncomfortable with it and when i asked about the possibility of a chest binder it was completely shut down without a second thought, i know they support my trans friend (and they absolutely love him- he's awesome-) but it seems like they are only open to other people being trans and not their own kid.

i just dont know what to do:(

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out! I understand that it's a difficult situation. Sometimes, people react differently when it's someone they know or care about. Like, to use an example- a person might love an outfit on a celebrity but not on someone they know. It doesn't mean the person is wrong for wearing that outfit, or that the outfit is any different- it's the person's perspective that has changed.

You could talk about the things you'd like (like different pronouns or a chest binder) as if it was your friend asking his parents to test the waters? That way you're making it less personal but still seeing how they feel about it?

I'm really really proud of you kiddo and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad. Things are really rough. My grades are slipping and so is my mental health. I finally got a therapist but I'm scared, what if she wants to talk about things that she could tell my parents about? I don't want to have those talks again. And I feel like I'm letting one of my friends down because he lives in England and I live in the US, meaning I can't help when he has bad days. I feel horrible for it. I mean I plan to move to England when I turn 18 but idk if I'll have the money right away. Everything's so hard and confusing.. I don't know what to do anymore.

Hey kiddo, thank you so much for reaching out and I think it's really sweet that you care so much about your friend. I've been there, my best friend lives in the US and I live in the UK, I completely understand how you feel. But I think you just being there to help is already great, and you're doing everything you can right now.

Therapists legally aren't allowed to tell your parents about what you say in the session unless there is an immediate safety risk. My best advice is to tell your therapist you don't want that shared and to ask her to keep it private- and if there is a situation where she has to then to please tell you first.

I'm really proud of you kiddo. I know things aren't easy right now, but I promise they'll get better. I love you and I'm here to listen anytime x

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

hey, im a transgirl.

but my dad is an alcoholic and our family is very dysfunctional. He is, surprisingly, very conservative about mental health and lgbtq stuff.

I want to transition but I cant. I cant even do the smallest of gender affirming stuff - like buying a cheap fem shirt or makeup or hair clips - because my dad gives me next to nothing as monthly allowance, just enough to buy food and thats pretty much it. but even if I did have a monthly allowance, i still couldnt transition because my dad is paying for college. it'd be stupid to blow off my whole career because i couldnt wait a few years to transition.

I know that the only real solution is to just wait it out. but just thinking about how I have to go through 3 more years of numbing dysphoria and dissociation is... I guess I'm not really expecting a solution and just wanted to vent

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out- that sounds like a really hard situation and I'm so sorry that's what's happening right now. Remember your community is always here for you- and I'm always here for you, no matter what. I know it's really hard, but you aren't fighting alone and we're all here for you.

I'm really proud of you kiddo and if you ever need to talk I'm here.

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

hey dad, I've made a plan to come out about being trans to my extended family, but I'm really anxious as some members are rather... Unpredictable. Do you have any tips for coming out?

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out and I'll try my best to help! My best advice would be to maybe test the waters a bit first? Slowly introducing the concept of being trans to them and seeing how they react, before you make it personal to yourself. People can react very differently to something if it's related to a person then if it's just an idea or subject, and you'd be able to understand a bit more who's more supportive than others?

I love you kiddo, I'm so proud of you and I hope everything goes okay!

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

heya papa!

any tips on voice training? i wanna try making my voice deeper without losing my "fem" voice so i can gender the fluid

:>

Hey kiddo!! I haven't personally done a lot of voice training, however I'd recommend taking it slow and steady, and making sure to take care of yourself. Don't push yourself to the point you lose your voice, and I hope everything goes okay!

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

hi dad

so i broke up with my girlfriend, because i know that i'm cupioromantic, and yeah, i like the idea of romance, but it turns out being in an actual relationship was really uncomfortable for me, and i felt bad being with her when i didn't like her like that.

we're still friends and everything's fine, though, i just wanted to talk about it i guess

-elliot

Hey kiddo, thank you so much for coming and talking to me. I understand how you feel, I'm arospec myself and things in theory Vs things in practice can be really different. I'm really proud of you for the way you handled that situation, and if you ever need to talk I'm here. 🫂🫂

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

hey dad. im a young transfem and honestly, i feel so lost in life. i wanna dedicate myself to helping others but thinking about that feels like watching a fever dream through a mist. besides, that can't be it, right? i wanna live for myself, too. but i don't know what to do with this life i've got. i need direction so i can shine some light through the darkness.

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out. I think, honestly, it's a great and really sweet thing that you want to help people- it's a precious and powerful quality to have. And it's natural to feel lost, with so many options and opportunities and life in general, it's so easy to get lost.

My advice to you is that whatever you do in life, there's always opportunities to help people. You don't necessarily have to be a doctor saving lives or work for a charity to help people. Artists help people by inspiring them with their work, baristas help people by improving their day- there's always an impact and ways to help people.

Even then, there's always community work and activism, there's protests and volunteering and mutual aid- there are so many ways to help people. And there doesn't have to be just one- you don't have to choose one thing for the rest of your life. There's no rule saying you can't try new things, or you have to stick to one career path til you die.

This is your life, so you should do what makes you happy and fulfilled. The helping people part will always come with whatever you chose.

I love you and I'm so incredibly proud of you, if you ever need to talk I'm here.

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad,

I'm realizing I'm too worried about my friends. Any time they do something harmful I blame myself. I know I would put myself in danger if it meant they were safe. Sometimes I think that if I put myself in the situations they do that then they'd stop but I know they wouldn't. I'm really scared. I had a panic attack earlier because I thought my friend was putting them self in a really bad position. I don't know how to not feel so attached to them.

Hey kiddo, thank you so much for reaching out. It's great that you care so much about your friends- but a healthy friendship shouldn't be at the sake of your own mental health and your own safety. Their actions aren't your fault, you can't control what they do- as much as you can advise them against it, you can't control what people do.

I know it's really hard, kiddo, when you care so much about people- caring isn't a bad thing at all- but you have to take care of yourself too. Your safety is your priority. And I'd hate for anything bad to happen to you.

I love you, and if you ever need to talk I'm here, my inbox is always open 24/7

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad! How can I make queer friends? I'm in my 20s, I dont know where to go or how to meet people or even how to make friends. I have 3 friends and one of them I talk to all the time (lives far away), another that I only see a few times a year, and one more that I kind of lost touch with because she has a new friend group.

Anyway, I feel kind of alone and it would be nice to be around other queer people and just feel safe and comfortable. I'm transmasc and haven't told anyone because I don't know how they'd react or if they'd even support me. So like what can I do to meet people or where to go to just hang out? Somewhere I can finally just be me.

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching and I'll try my best to help! My best advice, from my own personal experience, is to do some research on your local LGBTQ community. When I first came out as trans, I felt so alone- I didn't know any other trans people, I felt isolated- and then I found a LGBTQ youth group. I can honestly say the group changed my life, and helped my mental health so much.

If that's an option for you, I'd really recommend it. You'd be surprised how many queer events and groups there are, spaces for queer people. Maybe have a look into some queer events near you? I know a lot of queer bars have events in the day time.

I'm really proud of you kiddo and if you ever need to talk or have any other questions, my inbox is always open!

- dad x

[your-queer-dad]

Hey queer dad, I'm having a tough time, and I could use some advice. My husband, my best friend, has told me that he might be asexual. He needs support and for me to be there for him. He needs me to comfort him and tell him that it won't affect our relationship.

But queer dad, I think that him being ace would definitely affect our relationship. I've always been a very sex positive and active person, including during our 4 year relationship. I've never hidden that sex is very important to me for feeling close to someone.

Queer dad, I want him to be comfortable and happy. He means a lot to me, and I know he loves me too. But is it a good idea to stay in a relationship if he's let me know that what he needs is changing like this?

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out and I'll try my best to give some advice. I understand what you mean and it sounds like a really hard situation for you because it's trying to balance his needs in his identity with your own personal needs. My best advice would be to communicate how you feel, open and honestly, letting him know your side of things and your needs in the situation so you're on the same page and you can work together to find a solution that fits you both.

I know, easier said than done- but I think sharing how you feel will make it easier for the both of you to decide how you want to continue.

I'm really proud of you, thank you so much for reaching out and I'm here if you have any other questions or if you need to talk.

- dad x