your-virtue-my-poison

[your-virtue-my-poison]

“Here’s to the ones who go to bed with tears in their eyes, and death in their minds.”

— The Poetic Boy

[your-virtue-my-poison]

“Still, being able to feel pain was good, he thought. It’s when you can’t even feel pain anymore that you’re in real trouble.”

— Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

[your-virtue-my-poison]

“And in the end, we were all just humans… Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[your-virtue-my-poison]

“Today I forgive myself. Not just once. Again, and again, and again. As many times as it takes to find peace.”

— Unknown

[your-virtue-my-poison]

I'm the only one that knows how you feel

I fight to agree while you sit back and laugh

Enjoy your bathroom surgery

Line after line, the price seems to rise

Your friends trump your family

That part is clear to see

The only thing we don't know is whether you'll still be alive when I count to three

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Since everything comes at a price

You better make a plan and go over it twice

Don't wanna overspend on your life support

Don't wanna see you in a police report

If leaving me is your dying wish,

by the end of the night, you'll be water under the bridge

And if your plan doesn't go as nice

You'll be dead by the end of the night

You say it's a cursing

I say it's a blessing to no longer be in the land of the living

Thrashing, screaming, your blood is streaming

But I won't go down tonight without a fight

[your-virtue-my-poison]

I.B. Vyache, Excerpt 03.01.20

[your-virtue-my-poison]

If you leave me, I'll slow dance with the ghosts that you can't see

But maybe I'm the only sane one here

Can't you hear the screams?

They're louder than my thoughts

You ought to let me free!

Don't let them get me!

I know it makes sense

They want my secrets

The smell of you brings comfort

But I don't wanna hurt you

Everyone around me dies

And the nightmares are ruining my life

But I don't wanna be gone just yet

Don't fret

Because I'm not crazy

Just open up your eyes

And see that I'm their prize

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Well, drug me up and lock me away

Can't you see? I'm okay

Stuff me full of clozapine today

Twenty milligrams should do

so I don't hurt myself or you

You must be truly blind if you can't see

I'm not crazy

Don't let me be alone

I'm a danger to those around me

I won't speak, not a sound

Let them own my soul

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Your screams hurt my every being

But I just can't help it

Your pain is all my blame

But your cries just make me feel so damn helpless

The reasoning behind your suffering is that I just can't stay away

Hearing how it hurts just makes my heart sway

You know I shouldn't stay

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Have I earned it?

Or do I deserve it?

A single kiss is what I'm after

I know I'll never have a happy ending

Especially not with him

I have to learn to let go

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Drinking all my sorrow away, don't know how long I can stay,

I don't know if it even matters anyway.

Why does the floor seem to sway under my feet?

A few cigarettes and a glass of whiskey.

No one likes to agree,

but liquor is the only thing that makes me me.

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Too young to die,

too old to cry.

So many things to do, so little time.

Why should I even try?

Just let me get by and live my life.

Too many tears over all these years.

Tell me why I should stop after just a few beers.

[your-virtue-my-poison]

Even if you're both in pain

You gotta know he'll never change

Sometimes love can't save the day

These are words I thought I couldn't speak

Don't let him break your self-esteem

Like he did to me

[your-virtue-my-poison]

I still lack the reasoning behind every 'i love you'

Maybe it's just too hard to think about hating you

Most times I wish I could relive our dates

But that would just mean losing you again

And I'm not ready to let go of something I hardly ever had

But I'm not upset, I'm just mad you left without a goodbye

And the only time I'm not thinking of you is when I'm high

But I don't wanna live this life

Without you to sing to me at night

So this is farewell

I would say see you in heaven but I know damned well

I'm going to hell

[your-virtue-my-poison]

“Play me like I’m your favorite song. I know I might not be your favorite forever, but at least I was for a moment.”

— Unknown

[your-virtue-my-poison]

I just want the pain to stop

Instead I wait patiently for your heart to drop

You're still hurting me, even out of my life

Now all I have to do is sharpen my knife