your-west-is-dead-0

[your-west-is-dead-0]

VENT- i’m so fucking pissed, this is like a fever dream for the past week i’ve had the worst stomach issues like i haven’t been able to eat at all but my doctor thinks it’s fine and all because of my acid reflux.When this first started i was throwing up everything i ate and was to nauseous to eat now i still don’t have an appetite like my body is in so much pain and im literally so hungry but i can’t eat more than like 3 slices of cucumber sober. this is so fucked i was just starting to try and recover too.

[your-west-is-dead-0]

omg istg i can’t believe mfp changed their layout i hate change sm.

#fuckmfp #imayhaveautism

[your-west-is-dead-0]

(pretend i didn’t go full awol for over a month please) so i’m gonna try restricting again cause i can feel myself gaining weight so people can def see it idk i’m gonna try and stay under 1000 tmr but with all the stress from testing im not sure how well it’ll go.

[your-west-is-dead-0]

sorry for not posting ik im super inconsistent but so far todays i’ve only had 50 cals so i’m happy about that but yeah just thought i owed y’all an update

[your-west-is-dead-0]

+ a sprite (140)

sorry for not blogging yesterday day but i feel alseep and forogt to but i ate 1,534 def no my best but here’s todays

Breakfast-

Monster Ultra (10)

Gum (5)

Lunch-

A Cucumber (15)

A Peppermint (20)

A Magnum Icecream Bar (250)

Gum (5)

Dinner-

Hotpocket (290)

Like 10 Coca Puffs (19?)

Gum (5)

Total-

618

Exercise-

115

Net-

503

[your-west-is-dead-0]

sorry for not blogging yesterday day but i feel alseep and forogt to but i ate 1,534 def no my best but here’s todays

Breakfast-

Monster Ultra (10)

Gum (5)

Lunch-

A Cucumber (15)

A Peppermint (20)

A Magnum Icecream Bar (250)

Gum (5)

Dinner-

Hotpocket (290)

Like 10 Coca Puffs (19?)

Gum (5)

Total-

618

Exercise-

115

Net-

503

[your-west-is-dead-0]

getting mad at your partner for making you eat is a different kind of fucked up

[your-west-is-dead-0]

also sorry for being gone for a bit i just started binging and couldn’t stop, but from now on i’m going to try to restrict to anywhere from 500-800 cals <3

[your-west-is-dead-0]

OMG!!!!! so yesterday i literally only had 495 cals!!!! i’ve been trying to restrict agian and i finally did it i’m so proud of myself!!!

Breakfast- Hostess Cupcake 180 cals

Lunch- Jello 90 cals

Dinner Soup- 225 cals

IM SO HAPPY HONESTLY AAAAAAA :)))

[your-west-is-dead-0]

heyyyy so i went way over either not only that burger but also with an entire fucking cake so i think i’m going to switch up the days just this once so today counts as my metabolism day and tomorrow is going to be my 1000 cal limit day 

[your-west-is-dead-0]

my parents literally just gave me one of my favorite foods and i literally devoured the whole thing in less than 3 seconds so it’s safe to say i def went over :( but that’s okay monday will be a new start. :)

[your-west-is-dead-0]

omg so the thing i’m doing goes like

mon- 300

tues-500

wed-1000

thur- 300

fri- 500

sat- 1000

sun- no counting/ metabolism day

and today was the 1000 cals day and i’m alr at 1000 and it’s literally 5 pm 😐 i’m so upset.

[your-west-is-dead-0]

DUDESSSS I LITERALLY RESTICTED TO UNDER 500!!

AND I BURED SOME TOO IM SO HAPPY RN AND I FEEL SOOO GOOOD

Breakfast: nothing

Lunch: a chocolate santa-38

Dinner: Diet coke-0, A Croissant-284. and A Kinder joy-110

Burned: 39

Total Net Gain- 452

[your-west-is-dead-0]

i’m sooo glad nic is cal free or else i wouldn’t be able to surviveee

[your-west-is-dead-0]

always pro recovery <333

[your-west-is-dead-0]

i’m done i’m done i’m so fucking done. i tried to “recover” which is just a 2 month long fucking binge i’ve tried to get me shit together on my own and i was in the worst place i’ve ever been in mentally. now that school has been shut down until teusdsy i’m now getting my shit together. i’m going to be skinny. i need to be skinny. today i tried to limit and failed basically just binged all day. agian. i’m limiting to 500 tomorrow no matter what. fuck all this being fat shit i’m done.