youremysunshine8

[youremysunshine8]

Shen Yuan transmigrates into a powerful ice demon and just goes "Oh neat! Cool clothes and I don't have to worry about dying!" And kicks his feet up to chill. He doesn't recognize his name, so he assumes he's just some terribly irrelevant mob character who happens to be rich and strong and is just glad to run around PIDW without any consequences. He manages to gather that he's some widower with a young son, so he immediately assumes he's in the clear from potentially being an enemy of Binghe's. His son is so quiet, and demons aren't great with giving names, so he doesn't even know what to call the boy at first. It feels odd to ask him what his name is. He just does his best with raising him in a way that he can only hope isn't too noticeably different than the way the original goods did it.

His son is still very quiet, but as he grows, he and Shen Yuan become closer. The little prince is such a sweet boy! He makes Shen Yuan little arts and crafts and leaves them on his desk to find. Anything from flower crowns to vaguely menacing knicknacs made of the bones of small animals. He'd be more scared if his son didn't seem so expectant of praise for the work. A few of them definitely resembled cursed idols, but who was he to judge his little demon son? There aren't any child rearing manuals, but from his own PIDW knowledge, this seemed developmentally on-track for demon kids.

But apparently the original goods wasn't rich and strong without consequence, because he's hounded with political matters before long. They're flooding his office with letters, hounding him for meetings, begging him to manage affairs in his territory. He's coming into contact with all these other powerful demons and has to pretend he's even slightly aware of what they're talking about.

During one of these meetings, some guy mentions the heavenly emperor, and Shen Yuan's like, "oh??? Binghe's here??? Already???" And he's furiously reworking his timeline, but the other demons are like, "who tf is Binghe. We're talking about Tianlang-Jun" and internally he's like, "who tf is Tianlang-Jun". Some poking around later, and he realizes he's REALLY far off from Binghes rise. Man's not even born yet. Honestly it makes him relax even more. He uses the time to get to know Tianlang-Jun a bit, just because he's so curious about Binghe's father! A full true Heavenly Demon! Not as cool as Binghe, who has both heavenly demonic and human cultivation abilities, but still cool! He's also just curious about the kind of man his blorbo's father was.

For some reason, Tianlang-Jun already has a son??? Upon closer inspection, a nephew? The conclusion, of course, is that something must've happened to both of them for them to not even be mentioned in the book. Deeply unfortunate, but not Shen Yuan's problem. Or that's what he would say, but Tianlang-Jun is seemingly very fond of him now. Something about being fellow single dads? He keeps bringing Zhuzhi-Lang around and foisting him onto Shen Yuan for a "play date" with Shen Yuan's son. Zhuzhi-Lang is a good boy, and very quiet, but he's also visibly older than Shen Yuan's son. Like, by a lot. But Shen Yuan is no expert on demonic aging rates, so maybe half snake demons just... look like grown adults? At this point, it's more like Zhuzhi-Lang is babysitting Shen Yuan's son while Tianlang-Jun fucks off somewhere without him. How irresponsible! But Shen Yuan accepts the free labor.

Years pass, his son grows- he also ends up with ice powers, as well as a spatial ability, though if Shen Yuan is correct, that power is likely from a demon tribe slightly south from their territory. It sounds familiar, but there are tons of reused abilities in PIDW. Nothing odd here! Eventually his son starts taking on jobs that Shen Yuan never asked him to do, in an effort to prove himself to Shen Yuan and also help him out. So at some point he takes it upon himself to go to take something from some cultivators.

It's not until his son comes back with a sniveling Shang Qinghua in tow that Shen Yuan realizes he must be very, VERY off the mark on who his character is.

Linguang-Jun was not, in fact, supposed to raise the future Mobei-Jun to be a dutiful son (nephew) who lacked abandonment issues and had a habit of leaving offerings on his uncle's desk like a cat, but since he neither knew who Linguang-Jun was nor the fact that Mobei-Jun was supposed to get dropped in the human world to be hunted for sport as a child, this was exactly the kind of Mobei-Jun that he had. Shang Qinghua, aka the hack author of this goddamn novel, has the audacity to complain to Shen Yuan about how he raised Mobei-Jun too well. When Shang Qinghua groveled and wailed and begged for mercy, Mobei-Jun brought him to his uncle! Because he "had the final say" in whether or not Shang Qinghua could swear fealty to him! What the fuck!

Mobei-Jun accepts Shang Qinghua's fealty at his uncle's behest, and Shen Yuan uses this attachment as a way to keep track of the timeline, including when Su Xiyan will fall pregnant with Tianlang-Jun's baby. In the meantime, Shen Yuan uses his own friendship with Tianlang-Jun as a way to mark his progress as well. He's met her a few times since Tianlang-Jun keeps dropping Zhuzhi-Lang off so they can run off on their little dates, but it's too odd to ask either of them if he's gotten her pregnant yet, so Shen Yuan tries instead to drop hints to nudge Tianlang-Jun in the right direction.

Talking about the joys of fatherhood, how adorable babies are, how unfortunate it is that some species, like humans, have very short windows of their lives in which they can have kids, and can even miscarry... Tianlang-Jun seems to get it- or maybe he's giving the man too much credit, because suddenly Tianlang-Jun is offering Zhuzhi-Lang as a surrogate with the insistence that "as a half-snake, he's guaranteed to give you litters! Even with a few dud eggs, he'll definitely give you a nice batch!" And "the gestational periods are short too, so you can always try again! As a heavenly demon, he's also very hardy! Your kids will be healthy for sure!" Shen Yuan has to firmly and kindly decline, though that seems to oddly disappoint Zhuzhi-Lang, who has been standing off to the side the entire time. Good sir, stand up for yourself! You don't need to do everything your uncle says! Filial piety only goes so far!

Anyway it's not long after that Su Xiyan actually gets pregnant. He expects canon to unfold from there, based on Shang Qinghua's unused old notes- Tianlang-Jun getting put under the mountain, Su Xiyan getting captured and dying after giving birth, Zhuzhi-Lang getting stuck in snake form and trying to free his uncle- all very sad and very necessary for Binghe's rise to power. Except for some reason Su Xiyan is now at Linguang-Jun's doorstep?! With Mobei-Jun?! Son, why do you look so proud of yourself?!

Apparently Mobei-Jun, who continued to pick fights with human cultivators, habitually came across Su Xiyan and her martial siblings. Su Xiyan, recognizing him, always let him off lightly out of consideration for Linguang-Jun. She warned him that as long as none of his attacks were fatal, she would let him go: but that if he killed any of her martial siblings, he would either die at her hands or suffer in the Huan Hua water prison. In return, Mobei-Jun, who was basically a semi-regular figure at the sect now, noticed immediately that she had gone missing when he showed up at the sect one day and it was another older cultivator that crossed blades with him, instead of her. Fast forward, and he's busting her out of captivity, and dragging her to Shen Yuan after she tells him that Tianlang-Jun is in danger. Shen Yuan is gobsmacked. The Old Palace Master hasn't even called on the other sects yet! Su Xiyan was in captivity for less than a day! What the hell, Mobei-Jun?!

But he cannot scold his dear nephew, who is looking at him so expectantly for praise. Instead, he calls on Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang to let them know about Su Xiyan's whereabouts, and then calls on Airplane. This damn hack author deserves the burden of this dilemma too!

Really, it's too late to turn back now, so after shaking Airplane's shoulders aggressively enough, the man finally agrees to pull some strings at his sect. The Old Palace Master's request for aid is turned down, Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan are alive, and it's not long before the Old Palace Master unfortunately qi deviates while attempting to cultivate in seclusion. Su Xiyan gives birth safely to a baby boy, and the human and demonic realms are in an uproar when Tianlang-Jun announces their marriage, but there's really very little they can do about it.

On the bright side, the two realms never merge. Unfortunately, Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan getting together seemed to have started a bit of a trend, and now Mobei-Jun was asking Linguang-Jun for permission to court Shang Qinghua??? And other cultivators that he met at the wedding have been extending offers and invitations to Linguang-Jun???

Shen Yuan would like to retreat back to the northern mountains and never come back.

[youremysunshine8]

One field that badly needs to be purged of "Great Man-ism" is architecture.

[youremysunshine8]

i just invented a cathedral rose window granny square pattern and i feel insane now

[youremysunshine8]

(trying to give relationship advice) from a narrative perspective i think both of you dying together would be the most emotionally satisfying resolution but i’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear

[youremysunshine8]

So the cumplane runaway au has been in my mind rent free for the past two weeks and so I churn this out so pls excuse the word vomit as I explain what happens in this au.

SQH and SQQ realizes the other is a fellow transmigrator way earlier before the immortal alliance conference (in between the skinner demon arc and the demon invasion arc) probably due to SQH unknowingly outing himself and begins bonding with each other. SQQ brings up the sun moon dew mushroom and neither were planning on getting it until after the conference like canon. That is until they begin seeing how stressed the other is about their respective jobs/narrative roles after some drunk bonding sessions and convince the other to fetch the sun moon dew mushroom tgt and plant it so that they can fake their deaths to avoid doing paperwork and their narrative roles (SQH’s idea) and maybe go monster hunting/sight seeing around the world of PIDW instead (SQQ’s idea).

So during the IAC they fake their deaths just before SQQ has to push LBH into the abyss. SY and SQH wake up 5 years later in their plant bodies and immediately go monster hunting rpg style. They work as rogue cultivators and also trade in any rare monster parts to earn further income. They camp out during the night and huddle for warmth around the fire while reminiscing about their past lives (plural). They visit an abandoned temple for a forgotten goddess only to run into the cult that worships said goddess, causing them to almost be midsommar-ed. They visit a supposedly cursed sea only to run into the sea creature ‘haunting’ it and barely escaping with their lives. They visit lost cities to find supposedly extinct beasts and go bury treasure hunting, etc etc. Cumplane basically tour PIDW and have their best life (mostly) free of stress.

Meanwhile, if we rewind back to the IAC just after SY and SQH faked their deaths, SQH’s body is obvs now soulless and dead but the system forces SJ’s soul back into his og body and LBH still gets pushed into the abyss anyways opps. In the aftermath, SJ explains what happened with SY!SQQ and how basically SY and SQH are transmigrators and their whole situation from what SJ understands. SJ was a ghost all this time after the system forced his soul outta his body and he was lowkey haunting SY but SJ wasn’t always conscious, he probs only saw what was happening with SY!SQQ half of the time bc of the system. Cue Cang Qiong trying to track down one temporary SQQ and their logistics peak lord bc CQM is kinda burning down without him (and also to make sure both are ok)

Meanwhile, LBH speeds through the abyss and plans on taking over Huan Hua like canon and through some protagonist IQ bullshit that I’ve yet to come up with (probably through a grieving MBJ who's kinda been going crazy in the northern desert?) he realizes that SQQ is SJ but not his shizun, and he learns that CQM knows both SY and SQH are still alive and are trying to find them. LBH abandons his plot on taking over Huan Hua to team up with MBJ to find their two not so dead peak lords. 

Cue CQM vs the demon lords racing one another to find cumplane first for 6-7 years. 

Now back to cumplane. The two are enjoying their adventures together for a year or two after waking up in their plant bodies when they run into LBH and MBJ arguing with LQG in a village they’re travelling through. Cumplane realizes both the demon lords and CQM are trying to find them for some reason and panics when they overheard that SQQ is somehow still alive even though SY is right there and panics harder when they realize OG SQQ is back. Cumplane runs for their lives thinking they're fugitives now because their previous sect and the two demon lords are there to kill them/arrest them for impersonating a peak lord.

This is all I got for this au so far lol, this is still a wip so some things might change

[youremysunshine8]

Reductress really taking no prisoners today

[youremysunshine8]

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

[youremysunshine8]

i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been

[youremysunshine8]

...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category

It was kind of a joke between me and a friend ("you wouldn't judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people") but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:

It is a physical activity done with one or more partners

You should only go rock climbing with people you trust to not let you fall

You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making

Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35 and like it's fine dude I'm glad you're happy but I don't know what most of those mountains even are

While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don't want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma

There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone "it's not that heights make you nauseous, it's just that you haven't found the right person to belay you!" or "you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special." That would be absurd.

For some people it is a deep and moving personal experience.

historically I have not asked myself "will this aggravate my hip flexor injury" before participating when perhaps I should have 😔

[youremysunshine8]

[youremysunshine8]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[youremysunshine8]

observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

[youremysunshine8]

What the fuck.

[youremysunshine8]

Sucks to see someone else living your dream.

[youremysunshine8]

It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.

[youremysunshine8]

"It’s hard to know just how far back the link between knitting, sewing, and politics goes, but according to Liz Kristan, a librarian and self-proclaimed knitting historian, it goes pretty far. According to the Victoria and Albert Museum, people have been knitting since about the 3rd to 5th century in the Middle East and North Africa. Still, Kristan says much of our written history on knitting starts in Europe around the 1500s, when knitting was becoming increasingly popular."

�� https://buff.ly/0sugGk3 via @teenvogue

[youremysunshine8]

Is anyone else just monumentally dull in those first few minutes after waking up?

My alarm was just inches out of reach this morning, and I spent a good few seconds trying to turn it off with my mind and honestly thinking that it’d work