yourlocalnpd

[yourlocalnpd]

this post is going around again so I'd just like to add that a lot of these come from personal experience and are very much applicable even if them seem paranoid or extra

I've had people use knowledge of our headcount and splitting patterns to try and get us to split (very traumatized) fictives. sometimes it worked. for our own safety, we never made that fictive's data public and never mentioned that they split. If someone wants you to split a specific character or person, especially one abused by their fictive in source, that is a bad sign.

obviously this is a personality disorder account, and obviously certain friends knew this about me. certain friends also tried to make me dependant on them, make me cut off others because "our alters just get along with yours the best." they have tried to force codependency by "coincidentally" having our fictives' partners, family members, or friends in source. people have tried to instill a false sense of security by saying you know me, you love me, you are just like me. Someone asking you to trust them based on source alone is a bad sign.

it's been a little over a year since I originally posted this, and I as a person and as a system have changed a lot since then. rereading what I posted here is like reading a diary entry; there was a reason I posted this, and I hope that gives people a reason to consider their safety online. especially younger systems—trust me, guys, people will use whatever they can if they know it's a tool. Don't give them that.

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[yourlocalnpd]

“but it wasn’t that bad”

did it hurt? did you feel scared? unsafe? were you embarrassed? humiliated? terrified? did you feel confused on why? does it keep you up at night? do you avoid being in a similar situation? did you cry? did you want to cry? who told you it wasn’t that bad?

[yourlocalnpd]

npd and autism crossover is so funny. dude my narcissism handbook says I'm supposed to manipulate people but step one: small talk is kinda confusing could you tell me how to do that part

[yourlocalnpd]

Idk who needs to hear this but:

Your trauma/mental health is not an excuse to be toxic.

It's not an excuse to be controlling/possessive.

It's not an excuse to physically harm someone.

It's not an excuse to joke about traumatic things directed towards others, or joke about their traumas without consent even if you share similar traumas

Your trauma is not an excuse to push clouded ideas onto others ( like "you have to do this or else this will happen to you")

Trauma is NOT an excuse to demonize or discriminate against a specific group of people (like when someone is harmed by a person of the same gender and use it as an excuse to be homophobic). Attacking anyone who fits into that specific group is absolutely not okay.

Your trauma is not an excuse to hate on specific relationships, dynamics, or otherwise activities between consented adults (a good example would be shaming people who have threesomes after they had a traumatic experience with one)

Your mental health is never. Ever. EVER an acceptable reason to abuse someone.

You're allowed to have boundaries, discomforts, and you're allowed to not do things that will trigger you. But you're never allowed to use your experience(s) to try and force others to do the same. Don't want to date someone who likes to do something that triggers you? Then don't date them.

[yourlocalnpd]

You're allowed to be upset with people for breaking your boundaries. Even if they did it on accident. Even if they think they had a good reason to. Even if you think your boundaries are "hard" or "weird." Even if you struggle to communicate those boundaries. There is no law against being upset or angry with someone who has disrespected you. It's Okay.

[yourlocalnpd]

Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.

[yourlocalnpd]

there is one distressed caretaker in co con begging you to drink water. unfortunately for them you are front stuck and they can do NOTHING

sorry systems are so funny. *turns you into 7 smaller people to fix your problems * (all 7 people refuse to work on their problems) 

[yourlocalnpd]

I really wish the npd community here cared more about growth and self development rather than creating a culture of manipulation. It's not cool or quirky or cute to play into narcissist stereotypes and manipulate people just because. I know it's your first instinct, I know it's easy, I know it's what makes sense to your brain. That doesn't excuse it. I realize I'm speaking to deaf ears, that most people will shut it down like "you don't understand" or "I don't care lol." So I'd just like to say: the narcissists who work hard against their manipulative instincts, the ones who try to be a "good person," who do their best in their relationships—I see you and I am proud of you. It's not easy. You're amazing for your self awareness and even if others don't realize how much effort it takes, I do, and you deserve all the love.

[yourlocalnpd]

people who love you can still hurt you, you can still hurt people you love, love is not a cure or a preventative measure or a suppressant. acknowledge when you've hurt someone you love and hold accountable those who love you. it helps the love grow stronger or tells you when the love should grow somewhere else

[yourlocalnpd]

pretty real shit on this poster at our doctor’s office actually

[yourlocalnpd]

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[yourlocalnpd]

too lazy to retype this but . insane interaction w coworker last night

[yourlocalnpd]

💀💀💀💀💀

[yourlocalnpd]

NPD tags are filled to the brim with people repeating the mantra of "narc abuse" not being real and while it's true, it isn't real, we've gotta focus on offering actual help to pwNPD. Destigmatizing NPD is great but let's talk about how to fucking handle it too.

With that being said, here's my contribution on how to prevent/lower the likelihood of a narc crash:

Journal or tell your closest ones about your emotions, even if they feel miniscule. Every negative emotion counts. This might seem obvious but pwNPD are very prone to ignoring our emotions in favor of getting supply. Look, I know you "can handle it" and "only weak people have emotions" but you're a person and you have fucking emotions. It's more embarrassing to handle the post-effects of your crash than to try to prevent it, trust me.

After a crash happens, reflect on what actually caused the feeling of insecurity/distress that led to it. Sometimes it's other people, unfair criticism, or both plus our inherent feeling of needing to match a social standard. Try to figure out what caused it and either distance from the trigger or find a way to limit its access to you. Maybe next time, you will be more prepared for the oncoming emotional flow.

Limit who can criticize you. I guess it's harder for those of us with public pages online but actually limit who the hell has a right to critique you. Not everyone is a good critic. Some people will tell you shit just to upset you. Sometimes people won't be obligated to give you any attention at all. It fucking sucks but limiting the number of people who have the RIGHT to affect you might help. For me, it was a rule: What I think and what my FP think matters, everyone else can disappear.

Find means of reminding yourself how great you are. Do you need to admire yourself in the mirror? Reread that sexy post you made? Look at your art again? Check the notes on your favorite aesthetic post? Do you need to reflect on how many people have admired you over lifetime or, maybe, how many compliments you heard last time you did XYZ? Be fucking vain.

Overall, narc crash isn't something that one can entirely predict or prevent, but it's how we react to it that matters. Warning your loved ones that you require attention/supply, taking care of your damn body so you don't overexert yourself for others, and being mindful of your own emotional reactions might help.

Not everyone is going to have the mental capacity to stop themselves from overreacting/communicating poorly, but as long as you learn from your past mistakes you should be fine. Good luck.

P. S. I hope you're all big boys and know I do not mean this to be some sort of universal advice. It helped me, and maybe it will help you too.

[yourlocalnpd]

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[yourlocalnpd]

@springtrapbackroom THIS thank you for this addition

I've seen,, a scary amount of people put who their hypersexual alters are in their carrd or something, and then also say they're 16. That's. Not safe. The last thing you want predators to know is if you're hypersexual/were a victim of CSA.

With the Discord sys intros as well, I've had my intro screenshotted and shared without my permission or knowledge. Even if you're just sharing with friends, be careful with what you put there. Things can turn into blackmail real quick with that.

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[yourlocalnpd]

people have got to get normaler about systems