zayndrivesmeinvain - Tumblr blog

zayndrivesmeinvain · 7 months

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Crush | bfd!harry

Best friend’s dad!harry x reader | older!harry x reader

Summary: When your feelings for Mr. Styles morph from just finding him attractive to a full on crush you feel a little guilty. But then when he shows an interest back in you at Fae's 22nd birthday party you two become close and eventually ebb on inappropriate, but you can't seem to stop.

A/N: This is a flashback from Y/n's point of view starting with when she began crushing on Harry, to Fae's birthday, and beyond. A little more insight into why they were so comfortable with one another when they began their affair.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warning: 18+ only, smut (masterbation), a touch of angst, emotional almost cheating, age gap

bfd!harry masterlist

You had always found Harry attractive. The first time you went with Fae to her house and met her mom and dad you could recognize that your friend’s dad was a good-looking man.

But it wasn’t until the day you and Fae decided to go to the gym with Harry that you suddenly began to crush on him The gym had a big pool and sauna, and hot guys, according to Fae so you figured you’d spend a Saturday afternoon there.

You and Fae swam in the pool and then sat in the steam room until you were bored and decided to change back into your clothes and go look for Harry.

And when you found him… You stopped in your tracks. You hadn’t expected Mr. Styles to look like that.

He was boxing. Wearing a white t-shirt and athletic shorts. His hair was pulled out of his face with a clip that must have belonged to Fae or Mrs. Styles. He had gloves on and he was dancing around the other guy in the gym’s ring.

Of course, they were just sparring, there wasn’t any violent punching happening, but the way Harry handled himself had you dropping your mouth open in awe.

Fae turned back to look at you, “Are you okay?”

You couldn’t find your voice. You were in shock. Nodding your head you kept your eyes on Harry. His dark tattoos stood out with the sweat on his skin. His shoulders were broad under his sweaty white shirt and his moves were quick. Harry was clearly well-built. In much better shape than the guy he was sparring with who appeared to be closer to your age.

“Hey, Dad!” Fae waved at Harry as you stood back to take it all in.

Harry put his hands up in a signal to his partner to pause as he pulled his gloves off and spit the mouthguard out. You noticed that he glanced toward you and then began to move his mouth to answer Fae. You could barely hear. Your ears were ringing.

And then it was like you were suddenly being drawn in by tractor beams and you were unable to stop it as you moved yourself forward to where he stood in the slightly elevated, padded gym ring. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him and you couldn’t look away even when he made eye contact with you again and you saw the edge of his lip quirked up in a grin before he licked his lips.

And that stuck with you. That little smirk. The sweat on his neck. The look he’d given you. Was he perhaps also attracted to you somehow? Even if he was… well nothing would ever come of it.

On Fae’s 22nd birthday, you selected your outfit based on what you thought Harry might like. You pushed down your guilt about the way you’d been crushing on him and how you were hoping to at least catch his eye. You still never imagined that there’d ever be anything to worry about. It was just an innocent crush, right?

And you were so hot and turned on just imagining seeing Mr. Styles at your best friend’s birthday party, which was ridiculous, that you had to pull your panties off and find a new pair. But first, you needed to calm yourself and the best way to do that was to take your dildo out and use it on yourself.

At the time you still lived with your parents as you were in your last year of college and without a proper job. So, you locked your door and pulled up a photo of the only man you’d been masturbating to since the gym incident. The photo was of him with Fae. He was holding up a peace sign and he had the most adorable smile, complete with dimples, curly hair, and bright eyes. The nice thing about this picture was that he was staring directly into the camera as if he was watching you and that’s exactly what you wanted. His eyes on yours as you came imagining the dildo you were slipping inside of yourself was his cock.

And you knew Mr. Styles was hung. Knew he had a big dick. You hadn’t seen it, of course, but you could just tell. The natural bulge he sported, the occasional swing of his cock under athletic shorts when it appeared he wasn’t wearing underwear, and just his natural confidence told you he was well endowed.

You thrusted the thick silicone toy in and out as you rubbed your clit and peered at the photo of Harry, looking into his eyes. You’d scrolled in so the photo only had him in it. You could never do what you were at that moment if you could see Fae to his right.

You panted and then bit your lip to keep your noises down. The only thing to be heard in your bedroom was the slick press of the toy into your pussy.

And because you wanted to get to the Styles’ house early you did all the little things you knew would have you coming in under five minutes. The slip of your fingers on your clit and quick long thrusts of the toy into yourself with your eyes planted on Harry’s photo did the trick.

You peeped out a moan and threw your head back into your feather pillow as you closed your legs around the dildo and shut your eyes. It was Harry’s cock you were coming on. His deep, masculine voice coaxed you through, telling you that you were such a good girl for him.

After cleaning up and putting on a fresh pair of panties you smiled to yourself. You felt naughty. You were a bad girl to be imagining the things you were about Mr. Styles. But you couldn’t help it. Everything about him was sex and allure. His confidence and his charm drew everyone in. But the most attractive thing about him was how genuinely kind he was. He was sweet to his core.

You arrived about thirty minutes before you knew anyone else would begin to. You didn’t know why you wanted to get there early but when you realized Mrs. Styles’ car wasn’t in their driveway you felt a gush of excitement at the idea you’d be alone with him. Alone with Mr. Styles.

You found your way into the house, knowing you were always given permission to just enter when they were expecting you.

And there he was. In their lovely backyard setting up. He looked handsome in navy slacks with a white button-up shirt.

“Mr. Styles!”

He jolted and turned quickly to see you. You had scared him apparently. But then you watched in satisfaction as he dragged his eyes down your frame to take in your outfit. It was a well-fitted soft yellow dress with white polka dots. Your tits looked fantastic in it and the middle hugged your waist delicately.

“Hi, Y/n. How are you dear?” He pulled you into his arms and gave you a hug that lingered for a moment longer than necessary. He smelled amazing and you hoped he’d gotten a whiff of you too. You’d put on your nicest perfume and lotion.

When you both had backed away from the hug you felt yourself grow warm when his eyes dropped to your lips and then took in your neck and your face before he looked back up at your eyes. He looked stunned. Was it because you’d startled him when you arrived? Or… was there something behind this look… something behind the reaction he was giving to your presence?

After finding out it was just the two of you your mind delved into darkness quickly as you imagined him taking you right then on the table he stood next to. He could just bend you forward and slip your thong to the side and stuff himself inside of you.

“Well, I can go back inside. Don’t want to bother you or–“

But suddenly Harry wrapped his hand around your wrist and spoke over you, “It’s okay, Y/n. You’re never a bother.”

You hadn’t expected him to reach out for you as you looked down at his hand on your wrist and then looked back into his eyes. There was something there. In the way he was looking at you, in the way he was standing so close. As if he were seeing you in the same way you saw him.

And through the rest of the party you couldn’t keep your eyes off him but nearly every time you looked his way he was already watching you. It was a clear message. Maybe it would never be acted on, but the sentiment was clear. He found you attractive now. And the longing gazes from across the yard or at the table had your skin prickling and panties wetting involuntarily.

Before you left for the night you found Harry when no one was around. You’d done it on purpose. Wanted to give him a nice hug, something subtle but something to take with you and think about when you fingered yourself that night.

He stood up from his crouched position over the box he was stuffing with string lights and kept his dark eyes on yours. It almost looked like his pupils were blown out. But perhaps it was just the lighting.

You reached out for his hand, brushing your fingertips against his as you stepped in close to hug him, “This was fun, Mr. Styles.”

You slid your arms over his shoulders so he wrapped his around your low back and held you close, bodies molded together tight. You had your breasts pressed into his chest and then he turned his face in toward you as he spoke quietly, his breath falling over your ear and your neck, “I’m glad you were here tonight.”

You both stood like that for longer than was appropriate but it felt good. It felt like a little secret. Just for the both of you.

And things didn’t end there. You often visited Fae’s and went at times when you knew she might not be home. You and Harry would sit in his office and chat for hours sometimes. Usually, nothing suggestive happened but it always ended with a sensual hug. And each hug became more inappropriate until you two were pressed together at the hip before parting. You loved the brush of his dick against your thigh, even if he wasn’t hard, just the gesture of it was erotic. You could feel him and you were sure he was aware of it.

You always left with a shy smile and Harry’s eyes were dark and he looked like he could devour you. But that’s exactly what you wanted.

But still, you never imagined things would escalate.

Harry had given you his number eventually. For emergencies or if you ever needed to talk. And once in a while, you’d text him out of the blue. A link to an article that made you think of him, a funny meme to brighten his day. Eventually, the texts were more personal in nature. A good morning text. A how was your day text. A I’m sitting in traffic and need to be entertained text. And then he began to text you first some days. The first time he texted you first was a day you decided not to text him at all. Just to see if you could do it. To see if you could go one day without contact. Because it was silly, the game you two were playing and you knew it.

Haven’t heard from you today. Just checking in.

That one had you simply squealing and acting like you’d just been asked out on a date.

And when you started dating Randy you noticed that Harry liked to change the subject any time you brought him up.

“What did you do this weekend?” He asked you as you sat across from him in the cushy chair in his study.

“I went out with Randy again. He stayed the night on Satur–“

“That’s great. How’s school?”

He’d changed the subject so fast you got whiplash. And that seemed to be the way it went every time you brought up your boyfriend.

But he never stopped texting you and you never stopped texting him. All throughout your relationship with Randy. The heated hugs with faces turned inward as if you both wanted to part with a kiss, hips pressed together, whispers of “be good this week” that turned into “be a good girl this week” into your ear.

And then one day Randy hurt your feelings. He had already graduated from college and had a full-time job so he typically paid for most of your outings. You tried to chip in when you could but you were a full-time student working part-time at a fabric shop downtown and barely made anything to have any fun with.

So he’d make comments from time to time about the fact that he was the one paying so he got to do what he wanted when he wanted.

And normally you didn’t care. But the time he hurt your feelings was while you and a few friends were at his house watching a football game. His team was losing and you’d never seen Randy act like such a toddler before. Your last straw was when he slammed his fist into his coffee table, shattering a pint glass you had been drinking from, and then throwing his remote control into the wall, smashing it into tiny pieces.

“Calm down! It’s just a game,” you hurriedly spoke as you scrambled to get paper towel and a broom to clean up the mess he’d made.

He followed behind you as you grabbed the broom and he stopped you by grasping your shoulders, “Do not talk to me like that in my own place. I pay the rent here. I pay for everything else too. Until you start chipping in, you do not get to tell me to calm down.”

Your eyes filled with tears. Not because you were sad, but because you were pissed. You dropped the broom and flipped him off before grabbing your purse and getting out of there. You drove directly to Harry’s house. Mrs. Styles answered the door and she made you a cup of coffee. You told her that you’d just had an argument with your boyfriend and just needed to get away so the first place you thought of was the Styles’ house. Harry was on a call when you arrived and Fae wasn’t home once again.

“Look. Stay as long as you’d like, Y/n. I’m gonna go and get a few things at the market and I’ll be back in like thirty minutes. Just… don’t worry about that guy. Okay? You are free to watch TV or hang out in Fae’s room if you want. Our home is your home.”

You plopped on the couch and looked at your cell phone to see a missed call and a few missed texts from Randy. You were so angry with the way he spoke to you that you didn’t even bother to read what he had to say.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Harry’s kind smile covered his face as he walked out of his study toward you and sat down next to you on the couch.

You huffed and leaned back into the couch, “Just needed a place to go. It’s Randy. He was rude to me. And I don’t know if I can forgive him for it. Maybe he was just talking in the heat of the moment but… it just felt really mean and I have never had a guy speak to me like that before.”

Harry took your hand and the big smile on his face had fallen into a serious expression, “What did he say to you?”

You described to Harry what happened, as well as the past occurrences with him mentioning how he paid for things and how that was easy to overlook but this time it felt like a real dig at you. An insult.

“Fuck him. You need to break up with him. I’d never speak to anyone like that. He was pulling a power move on you which is manipulative. You did nothing wrong.”

Harry’s thumb slid against your knuckles and you’d all but forgotten about how mad you were at your boyfriend at his soft gesture.

“Yeah. I know. I just couldn’t believe him. I think I’ll break up with him Friday morning cause I have the day free and he works in the afternoon.”

You looked up at Harry and into his eyes. You wished you could read his thoughts but figured that might be dangerous based on the way he was looking at you at that moment. It felt dreamy and lusty and with his hand grasping yours and his thumb brushing over your skin it made you dizzy.

“Good. You don’t deserve that, Y/n. Feel like I should go over to his apartment and beat his ass for speaking to you like that,” he lifted his free hand up to your face and thumbed over your cheek.

Your lips parted at his gesture and your breath caught. You both knew you were playing with fire. You were sat too close and Harry was touching you in a way a lover would. Yes, you were still fully clothed and perhaps to the naked eye this could be shrugged off as innocent but there was nothing innocent between you two in that moment.

“Promise me you’ll break up with him?”

You nodded and leaned your cheek into his hand further, “I promise.”

“Good girl, Y/n. I need you to let me know after you do it. Okay? Because I need to make sure you’re okay. His outburst today doesn’t give me confidence that he’ll take the news well.”

You nodded again and spoke softly, “Yes, sir.”

You watched him flutter his eyes closed as his chest rose with a deep breath before he pulled you into his arms for a hug. A seated hug. It was different than all the other hugs because he had to slot his knee between yours, your legs being pushed apart and even though your hips weren’t pressed together your legs were slotted between his and his face brushed against yours, his lips at your ear, “I’ll call you if I don’t hear from you. Because I need to know you’re okay after. Understood?”

You nodded and felt his face move, against yours, his nose pressed into your cheek. It was one of those moments when the air felt choked from your lungs as you moved your face in toward his and paused. Only an inch further and you’d have his lips on yours. Only an inch further and you could feel what you’ve longed to feel for nearly two years. Only an inch further and there would be no turning back.

He pressed his warm pink lips into your cheek, so near to your mouth and you felt him exhale from his nose as he gripped your ribs tighter. Your hand moved down until you’d settled it on his pants-clad thigh and opened your mouth to ready yourself for what you thought might come next as he brushed his nose inward, inward, inward.

But you were both stopped short and jumping apart the moment a car door closed. Harry stood up quickly and plucked at the front of his pants as he looked at you with wide eyes like he was suddenly broken from some magic spell he was under.

Mrs. Styles came in with two bags full of things she’d gotten at the market, “Har, will you help me put this away?”

Harry kept his eyes on you as he responded, “Yeah. Of course. Just sit it on the counter. I’ll be right in. Need to use the restroom first.”

And you figured you knew what he was doing behind those doors. Either he was cooling off or he was fucking his fist to calm himself because you did not miss the way his usual bulge was quite a lot thicker and more prominent in his pants as he walked toward the bathroom.

You had done that to him. You’d given him an erection and he nearly kissed you after telling you to break up with your loser boyfriend. And you couldn’t deny that it all had you riled up. Your heart was pounding as you stood wobbly to your feet and found Mrs. Styles in the kitchen.

“Uh… I’m gonna go home now. Thank you so much for letting me hang out here a bit and vent to you.”

She smiled at you and gave you a gentle hug, “Of course, Y/n. Anytime you need. I’m sorry Fae wasn’t here but we’ll always be here for you too you know.”

You nodded, “Yeah. Thank you. And… tell Mr. Styles I said goodbye too.”

If there was any doubt in your mind about breaking up with Randy before you spoke to Harry, well there certainly wasn’t any after. You sat in your car and touched the spot on your face where he had his lips pressed.

You had never intended for anything to go that far. And still, you couldn’t imagine the kind of mess that was just to come.

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zayndrivesmeinvain · 8 months

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The One That Got Away - Part 4

A.N. - Part 4 is finally here! I hope everyone enjoys - please let me know your thoughts or even pop into my inbox so we can talk :)

Pairing: Single Dad Harry Styles

Summary: Harry's stuck in a sticky situation where he has to ultimately pick between his own personal life and his role as a father. However, what happens when he wants to take some time alone and runs into his daughters mother while she is supposed to be with him?

Word Count: 4.1K

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Harry

“Harry, I love you too but I don’t believe that you’re in love with me as much as I am to you.” Liz’ confession stings me because that's not true in the slightest. Her big blue eyes are starting to brim with a few tears and my heart sinks even more. I in no way wanted to make her feel this way, even in the slightest.

“Liz, that is absolutely not true. I-I-I-I don’t even know what else to say right now, I feel as though I have said and done everything to prove to you that I am ready to move further with you and this relationship and it doesn’t seem like you’re listening to me.” I am starting to become irritated with this conversation now. I don’t know how many times I can tell one person that I love them and want to move forward with them but my life is complicated and it’s not as easy as she thinks. Her life compared to mine is much easier, she does not share a child with someone else, nor does she have to take someone else's needs into consideration, for all intents and purposes she could move across the country tomorrow if she wanted to and there would be nothing holding her back here.

“Let me move in with you.”

“What?” Her demand comes as a surprise to me.

“Let me move in with you. If you're serious as you say then let me move in with you.”

“Baby, you know it’s not that simple.” She knows that making this type of demand comes with a lot of planning and consulting with the mother of my child. She is fully aware of the agreement that Alena and I have and, again, I have someone else to think about in this situation.

“See Harry… This is our problem - you always have to ask for permission from her before you can do anything with your life, well I am sorry, but I am not waiting around nor am I sharing our life with her." My patience is running thin at this point - she has no business nor right to make that statement, especially when I have been an open book with her about most of my wrong doings I have done in my life. Her words are spiteful.

“ If that’s the case, then I don’t think it would be wise to continue seeing me then.” my chest is continuing to ache and my stomach is at the bottom of the pit currently. “ I have a beautiful daughter that I share with someone, and her mother is going to continue to be a part of my life in one way or another and if you can't accept that, then I don’t think we should continue this relationship we have.”

“But Harry?” my words have obviously affected her, however, I am not going to make promises I can’t keep, she is aware of my circumstances and what comes along with being with me. I typically would have some empathy for her because she truly is a sweet and kind hearted girl but she is being spiteful and I am not going to allow her to try and gaslight me as if I am the problem.

“Liz, I think it’s best you go inside and we revisit this conversation another time. I don’t want to argue about this, especially because my mind is not going to change on this.” And with that, she unbuckles herself from the passenger seat, gathers her belongings and gets out of my car. She did not mutter another word. I don’t know if this means that I won’t be hearing from her anytime soon or she’s just over this conversation. She is typically a very talkative and expressive person so her silence was sharp and knife-like. I watch her make herself into her apartment building and I wait until I see her living room light turn-on to signal that she has made it inside her apartment safely.

As I drive off back toward my mothers house, instant regret and sadness over-fills me. I don’t understand how this day started off happy,to now being most likely it's the end of our relationship. Elizabeth is the first girl that has really sparked something inside of me in a while, she was the total package but no matter how great she is - she has to accept the biggest part of my life, with the good and the bads and if she can’t do that then that's a deal breaker.

“Harry, dear, what's wrong?” I have just arrived back at my parents house to pick-up Aria but on the way here tears just began to spill out. I didn’t even shed this many tears when my daughter was born - how pathetic of me.

“Mum, I really don’t feel like talking about it.” I scan the room but don’t spot Aria.

“ Where’s my princess?” Aria really did save me. I truly believe that if it weren’t for her, I would be in a much darker place in my life.

“She’s asleep…” my mum pulls out a chair from her kitchen table as do I and we both take a seat. My mum is sitting across from me and I can tell just from her facial expression the concern and worry she has for me now and will do her absolute best to pry out the truth from me.

“ I think Elizabeth and I have broken up.”

“W-What, Harry, I thought everything was going great between you two?” her face is now covered by confusion and worry. “For fuck sakes, Harry, I just met the girl tonight and you’ve already broken up with her?” She's now rubbing her temples with both hands. Her face is illuminated by the single dim kitchen light fixture, yet I can still see her facial expressions clear as day.

“Mum… she was trying to give me an ultimatum that I can’t agree to.”

“W-Well what was it? Not going out, not drinking, not smoking? What is it?” her ignorance is bliss, she’s talking out of her ass.

“No, she asked, no, demanded she move in with me. She feels as though I am not devoting enough time to her and not making her a priority.”

“Well is that true? Is she not a priority for you?”

“She is - but she needs to understand that my daughter comes before anyone else. It’s not as easy as she may think it is.” This conversation is starting to irritate me, I don’t need to justify my reasonings for anything to anyone - not Liz and not even my mum. “My role as a father comes before my role as a boyfriend, and if she can’t accept that, then that’s on her.”

“ Harry, don’t be so harsh on the girl. I’m sure it’s difficult for her as well - sharing her time with someone else, a child that you share with someone else - a child that will have things come up and plans with said girlfriend may have to be rearranged.” My mother lays her hand on top of mine and gives it a squeeze. “Don’t be so stubborn, and don’t be so serious - I’m sure she didn’t say anything inappropriate about Aria.”

“No, she did not.”

“Harry - I think you should leave Aria with me tonight - I will take her to your home so she can sleep in her own bed because it’s getting late and you get yourself together, go for a walk, stay here - I don’t care but you don’t come home to your daughter until you get yourself together.”

“Fine.”

After my mum left with Aria I did not go for a walk, nor did I stay at her house, I drove to the first place that I knew would help me get my mind off of things. I just valeted my car and made my way to the entrance of the building.

“Styles! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What is going on?” Josh, an old buddy of mine is at the door, carding and greeting people into the establishment. Josh is a stocky guy, with dark brown hair and a bit of facial hair, he hasn’t changed much since I last saw him.

“ Oh, you know, busy with life my man. I hope all is going well with you.” Josh is a great guy, no doubt about that, but after a few drinks one night he has professed to me that he didn’t feel like he had a purpose in this world, didn’t go to college, didn’t have any hobbies that motivated him besides women and drinking, which is why he most likely started at this place and unfortunately I don’t believe he will be leaving anytime soon.

“ That’s great to hear man, hey, I’ll catch you inside after my shift if you stick around!” I swiftly nodded my head and flashed him a smile, but I’m hoping that I get one or two drinks in me, calm myself down and head back home to Aria, I am not trying to stay out all night - I can’t go back to my old tendencies.

As I make my way through the double doors, then the vestibule, I am reminded of the familiar scenery and scent of this club. It’s one of the most popular clubs within the city, and it is the place to be. It’s constantly filled with beautiful single women waiting to be flirted with, taken care of and 9 times out of 10, be taken home and shown an even better time. I would be lying if I said I never partook in any of those activities, in fact I could probably count a few things that I’ve done in that private stall to the left of me.

The bar seems to be occupied with people ordering and then making their way back to the dance floor, which fortunately enough for me means that there's a few empty seats at the bar. The same old bartender that’s been working here for the past few years greets me as she always has.

“Hey there Stud, y’d like your usual?” She’s a petite woman, with short blonde hair and these piercing blue eyes, she really is a looker, her name is Shannon. When I first started to come around to this place, Shannon had just started working here and she was fresh to the scene, she was very naive at the time and was known to give some special “deals” while she was working during her shift. For instance, one random Saturday night she was flirting with me at the bar, had her pretty blue eyes keep batting away at me and her tits were pushed up to her chest and her ass cheeks were hanging out of her shorts the perfect amount and one thing led to another and we ended up in the bathroom, she gave me a blowie right then and there. For months I was fixated on the way her plump lips wrapped around my cock, so I kept coming back for more and more until I became fixated on someone else.

“Yes, please.”

“Where’ve you been Stud? I miss you.” She walks over to grab a glass and some ice to put vodka club in and as she walks by, I notice she has a similar pair of shorts on as she had on the night we had together in the bathroom.

“I’ve been around - haven’t been getting out much.” She’s the last person that I want to discuss any personal dilemmas with.

“You? Not getting out much? You’re either seeing someone or knocked someone up." She laughs at her own comments and walks away to assist another customer calling her name, but I’m sure she wouldn’t be laughing if she realized both were true.

I’ve been here for about 30 minutes and I’ve had roughly about 4 drinks. I had capped myself at two but drowning my thoughts and sorrows of the day with alcohol just feels too good. The alcohol has me feeling loose and calm, it almost feels as though all of my past, present and future problems have no meaning because I’m just in a state of serenity right now. I’ve been chatting with Shannon on and off while I’ve been sitting here at the bar, and she’s already offered twice to go into the bathroom and relive a past endeavor but I’ve declined twice. I may be drunk and emotionally unstable, but I am not stupid enough to do something I will regret once I am coherent again.

I am just about to get up and go to the bathroom when I hear a familiar voice shouting up at me.

“ Harry, where the hell is Aria?” It took me a second to realize who it is but once I do, I am shocked. Alena, the mother of my child, is standing right infront of me in the club. She looks immaculately and effortlessly beautiful, her dress is skin tight and leaves little to the imagination while making me feel a little over protective of her? Why is she even wearing something so tight? I can practically see her nipples, and her curves hug her dress in all the right places. I recognize this dress - she wore this dress once before and dare I say that she looks even better wearing it now.

“What the hell are you even doing here and what are you wearing? You look silly.” I’m lying to myself and to her, because she doesn’t look silly, but I can’t let her know that I think she looks effortlessly gorgeous.

“Harry, do not fucking play games with me. Where the hell is my daughter and why the hell aren’t you with her right now?” I tug her arm gently so she can take a seat next to me, so she isn’t shouting in front of everyone, but also if I stand up for one more second I may actually piss myself.

“Relax, she’s at my house with my mum. I came out for a drink or two and headed home.” I don’t want her blowing this instance out of proportion but I know deep inside, being here while I am supposed to be caring for Aria is not the most responsible decision.

“Harry, do not tell me to relax.” her cheeks are puffing out like they always used to when she was annoyed or frustrated with me. “Is this” she’s pointing around the club, “what you are doing while she’s with you during the weekends?”

“What the fuck - no. Do you think I’m that much of a piece of shit?” I can’t believe she thinks this low of me to assume that I am doing this every weekend while our daughter is at my house. I may have been a shitty partner, but I vowed to never be a piece of shit father who doesn’t care for his child.

“ Don’t act like that would be so far-fetched. We both know what you’re capable of.” If I wasn’t already feeling like a horrible human being, this really is the icing on the cake. “Oh why thank you, because you’re the mother of the year - I apologize for not being as perfect as you.” the alcohol was starting to kick in and I wasn’t even aware of what was coming out of my mouth, however, I can tell by Alena’s expression she’s brewing with anger.

“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you here, Harry. Enjoy your night, and don’t you worry about dropping Aria off in the morning - I’ll come pick her up bright and early.” I didn’t even know what to say next, so I didn’t even bother stopping Alena from walking away and apologizing to her for what I said. Before making matters even worse, I pay my tab, ask for a bottle of water and make my way home.

I’m woken up by the sound of two little feet patting their way across my bedroom and soft sniffles. When I’m finally woken up, I pull Aria under my duvet and lay her next to me.

“Bubs, what’s a-matter?” Her tear stained face nuzzles into my chest as she makes herself comfortable.

“U-U-Uh I-I-I had a bad dream, and I’m scared.” Her broken voice breaks my heart, but I know this is normal for kids her age, she has a bad dream at least once a month while she is with me and we go through the same routine in which she comes and lays in bed with me and we fall back asleep together.

“ T’s okay Bubs, you’re safe here with me now.” I can feel her drifting off to sleep and selfishly I’m thankful for that - when looking at the time on my phone it clearly read 5:23 AM. Which means I’ve only been asleep for roughly about 3 hours. After my interaction with Alena at the club, I was left so embarrassed that I sobered up as quickly as I could and drove myself back here. It wasn’t enough that Alena gave me a piece of her mind, but as soon as I got home my mum could smell the alcohol on my breath and I had to hear it from her as well. I was embarrassed beyond belief, but all I wanted to do after the night I had was check on my baby girl and then go to sleep.

“I love you so much, daddy.” I could never get tired of hearing that.

I’m woken up again by the vibration of my phone. Alena texted and called me to notify me that she’s outside waiting for me to let her in, while getting out of bed doing my best to not wake up Aria I glanced over at my phone and see that it reads 7:38 AM, she wasn’t kidding when she said bright and early. I slip out of my pajama pants and slip on a pair of lounge shorts and make my way down my stairs and into my foyer to let Alena in.

When I open the door, she’s standing there in a pair of leggings and a cropped t-shirt, her hair seems to be styled in the same waves that it was last night. Her face has now been washed away of all that make-up she had on last night, and she seems to have a softer aroma on her.

“Where is she?” her demeanor doesn’t seem to have changed since last night.

“She’s up in my bed asleep, she woke up about 2 hours ago because she had a bad dream. The only way she seems to fall back asleep is if she nestles herself into me.” I’m hoping the topic of our daughter and her unfortunate nightmare softens Alena up.

“Yeah, she does the same with me too. She likes when I wrap my arm around her.” I lead her through the open-floor plan of my home and lead her to my kitchen island so I can make us some coffee.

“Listen, Harry, I apologize for snapping at you last night the way I did. I shouldn’t have done that.” she has no reason to apologize here but as always, she has to be the bigger person. “It just really took me by surprise to see you there the way I did.”

“There’s no reason for you to apologize, however, if you had allowed me to talk last night I would have gotten to the reason why.” I truthfully would have told her everything last night if she had allowed me to, but out of frustration, she let it out all at once.

“ I was irresponsible last night, and after an argument I had with my now ex-girlfriend I needed to get out. I probably should have gone for a walk or even a drive - but I went somewhere that felt comfortable and went ahead of myself.”

“Oh?” her eyes are fixated on me while I talk, which is something I admire most about her. No matter who is speaking to her, she makes it a point to make them feel like they are the most important person in the room and she is just absolutely transfixed with them.

“ I’ll spare you the details, but, I think it’s important for you to know that she asked if she could move in here and I told her no, because my relationship with our daughter is more important to me than any romantic relationship I may encounter.” her face begins to soften, and she waits for me to complete my thought before she speaks up.

“Harry, you don’t have to share the intimate details of your relationship with me.”

“No I don’t, but I also don’t want you to think I would ever do something to jeopardize my relationship with Aria or make you feel uncomfortable.” The coffee pot chimes signaling it’s beginning to brew. I swing my weight onto my counter top, where I perch myself up. “I know you have your thoughts about me, and rightfully so, but I will do everything in my power to prove you wrong.” These words weren’t supposed to come out as threats, but more so as promises, because I promise to be the best father I can possibly be.

“ I’ve never said anything negative about you to anyone, not to my friends, my parents, your mum, no one - especially our daughter.”

“Yes, but I’m sure you’ve thought about it.”

A gasp escaped her lips, “ Yeah, and I’ve also thought about marrying Leonardo DiCaprio but it doesn’t make it true.”

This playful banter is not common within our relationship, if that's what you would even call this - but it’s refreshing.

For the next 30 minutes, we stayed sat like we are, drinking coffee and making small talk about Aria, my mum, her parents and just random news we’ve heard about in the world, sitting and having light-hearted conversations with Alena is different than our norm, but I’m happy we are moving in this direction even if it may be in very small increments.

Aria woke up not too long after, and came downstairs searching for me but as soon as her eyes caught sight of Alena, it was game over for me - she attacked her mother with hugs and kisses and expressed how much she actually missed her.

Shortly after, Alena and Aria made their way back home and I am left alone again with my own thoughts and contemplations on what I should do about my situationship. But, instead of dealing with it like an adult - I decide to take the high road and go upstairs and lay back in bed.

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