zeeboomblebee

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"I thought Caine couldn't..."

THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE

I don't wanna jump the gun just yet and call this foreshadowing, this was clearly played off for the lolz, but I have a nagging feeling this is implying something much, much darker

It's clear that Jax said the part about the egg white* involuntarily, since he doesn't want to play this vegan bit whatsoever. But his sentence at the end; "I thought Caine couldn't..."

"... control us"??

Imagine that. They're trapped against their will, they can never go home, they're forced into stressful and scary adventures every day, but at the very least they still have free will. At least they can choose what they say and do (puppeteer employee re-evaluations aside)

Only, they can't. That can be taken away from them as well.

And Zooble knew it.

Remember this brief convo in the previous episode;

"The only thing holding Caine back is the fact that he likes us. I wouldn't push it."

ZOOBLE KNOWS SOMETHING.

Most likely they may just be wiser and/or more perceptive than most, fully comprehending the scope of Caine's powers in the circus and knowing that they're all hanging on by the threads that Caine is clutching. Or, possibly, they may have been witness to this "punishment" they mention. This may be the real reason they never go on adventures. Not cuz they just can't be fucked (tho probably true) but because they figure "If I don't do anything, I can't do anything wrong/worth punishing"

They know what Caine is capable of, and how it can be weaponized. In that sense, they were actually very forgiving to only ask for Jax to be vegan for the day as punishment for pretending to eat Gangle. I think between episode 4 & 5 we're seeing Jax come to that realization as well. It's clear that in his own way, he trusted Caine wouldn't hurt him or force him to do anything against his will, and was proven wrong twice.

Like I said, this might be foreshadowing for something later on, it might just be subtext you're meant to stew over as I have. Either way, its clear that Caine has greater capacity for evil, or at least immense harm, than most of them realize.

*also, since when do whiskey sours have egg whites?? I looked it up thinking it was a joke, but no, this is a cocktail with egg in it, wtf. Tho technically, according to google if it has an egg white it's a Boston sour, but same diff

[zeeboomblebee]

"I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream": TADC Inspiration Analysis

I was reviewing The Amazing Digital Circus' IMDB page, as well as it's wikipedia page, and in doing so noticed the piece of trivia that the main inspiration for the show was the short story "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison, and in my curiosity I looked it up.

I have a link for the document here for anyone interested in reading, but be aware that there is mature content including mentions of NSFW, body horror, gore, and slut-shaming. But I break it down and go over parallels and implications below.

To summarize, this short story published in 1967 (which would later have a video game modeled after it) follows five humans who are trapped in a complex by a sentient AI called AM, who was created to coordinate efforts in World War III, and later become sentient (due to input by those five humans in various ways.) AM responded by exterminating humanity, leaving only those five humans behind who it/he would continue to torture for 109 years, not allowing them the freedom of death.

Off the bat you can already see some of the common themes, with humans being trapped in a world run by an AI where they are unable die. Now, we don't know what's happening outside of the game in TADC, where it is possible everyone else is simply moving on with their lives (especially since the members of TADC seemed to have joined at different times, and there is no mention of any apocalyptic happening (unless memories have been altered, which I'm not ruling out since despite Caine's assertions he can't control their minds, that doesn't appear to always be the case.)) But still, the set up for the protagonists is the same in a lot of ways, regardless of the events of the outside world.

The five humans are regularly tormented by AM (which originally stood for "Allied Mastercomputer", but then the humans later changed it to stand for "Adaptive Manipulator" and then "Aggressive Menace" (while the AI itself calls itself that because of "I think therefore I am," which is something regularly repeated to break up segments in the story (and now I'm thinking of this fan made TADC song.) The story starts with the cast seeing the blood drained, hanging corpse of a missing member (Gorrister) who then joins the group, proving the image to be a trick by AM to torment them. Later on, another member of the cast, Nimdok, says that he hallucinated seeing canned goods in an icy cave, which both the narrator (Ted) and Gorrister are dubious of given AM's propensity for tricks. Still, this is something incredibly value because one of AM's many ways to torment the cast is by starving them. The five ultimately end up going on a long, arduous quest to try and find the food, with the AI regularly throwing challenges their way like extreme winds, earthquakes, and giant birds.

Going back to TADC, in both these pieces of media we see characters chasing after a goal that is believed by others to be unattainable. Pomni (and some of the others) with the exit, and this cast with their food.

Furthermore, we see the consequence in the story of someone trying to escape, with the character Benny, who is already on the edge of sanity as is, talk about escaping, leading AM to punish him by binding him. (Consider: in this story, a character is forced into darkness, while in TADC, darkness is the only thing that appears to calm the Abstracted.)

The story ends with them being tormented by getting close to their goals, but ultimately unable to attain them (they have access to weapons to hunt a giant bird, but they aren't functional. They find the cans but there aren't ways to open them.) And in response to this, Benny ends up attacking and eating Gorrister, which causes Ted to conclude that the only true escape is death, and while AM won't let them starve or kill themselves, they are able to kill each other if the AI isn't given time to stop them. This leads to Ted killing Benny, while Ellen kills Nimdok, understanding Ted's intentions, and then letting Ted kill her. This leaves Ted alone, with AM taking its revenge by turning him into a blob that is doomed to just exist, tormented by his memories and unable to scream due to his lack of a mouth.

Now, while TADC is a psychological horror in a lot of its own ways, I am unsure that it will take quite a dark turn in its ending. But I still wanted to draw out some of the parallels that appear to exist between them, as well as how this could inform the ending.

One thing is that the cast in IHNMAIMS is five people, while in TADC it is currently believed to be six (assuming none of the NPC theories are true.) Now, this may not have any ramifications and simply be a difference in numbers, or it could point to the fact that later in the show, the cast gets cut down by a member, due to either abstraction or the reveal of an NPC amongst them (although Gooseworx has disproven the "Jax is an NPC" theory.) But ultimately this could mean is TADC, only five characters end up going on a journey to find the exit, paralleling the five characters in IHNMAIMS.

Caine vs AM. Gooseworx has said that "Digital Circus is very inspired by I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. But instead of AM being a living embodiment of hate, he's a fun-loving wacky little guy."

In both pieces of media, we have an AI that is ultimately tormenting the humans that are being held captive within its domain, but as Gooseworx said, the main difference is the intent. In IHNMAIMS, it is revealed that AM chose to keep these five humans captive and torment them because they were the ones responsible for its sentience, and in reality it is captive like they are as it is unable to die. Caine may not be doing what he is doing intentionally, but the point stands that he is held captive by his programming and responsibilities. We see his increased panic over the episodes as he realizes he may not be doing his job/purpose well, and it breaks him. We don't know if he is the one who is responsible for holding them captive, or if he's a tool made by the person truly responsible, but as of now he appears unaware of what truly is causing the humans around him distress. In the Pilot we see him play with the idea of an Exit Door without comprehending what it is the others really want. We see in episode 3 that he can't seem to compute the criticism or feedback Zooble gives him, because it's not something in his vocabulary. AM and Caine are both captors and held captive is possibly different ways, and as a result torment those they are stuck with. In IHNMAIMS, AM's fate is to basically be doomed to existence forever, the only freedom it has being to torment Ted. And it's possible Caine's fate may be similar, or they may instead subvert this by giving Caine freedom. Not by escaping the Circus, but by being able to go beyond his directive/coding, understanding the humans more and possibly even helping them at the end, since empathy appears to be a large theme in the show, and we already see with Gummigoo how non-humans grow outside of their original purpose. Another parallel between AM and Caine I wanted to point out is that of biblical imagery. In IHNMAIMS, AM is equivocated to God in a lot of ways, both in Ted's internal dialogue, and in later imagery with AM appearing in forms similar to how God appeared in religious scriptures, including a burning bush. With Caine, we have his name and the possible "Caine and Abel" reference with "C&A", as well as Loolilalu literally calling him "God" with a stained glass window in episode 2. (Plus all that angel and Hell stuff in episode 3.)

Cannibalism. Possibly no deeper meaning behind it but wanted to throw out that Benny attacks and eats Gorrister, and in episode 5 Jax attacks and tries to eat both Gangle and "Evil Jax" (albeit this is played more as a joke, and since it has previously been shown characters can't die or eat (?) the impact is a lot less than in IHNMAIMS.)

Stabbing with spikes. In IHNMAIMS, Ted and Ellen kill Benny and Nimdok (and then Ted kills Ellen) with ice spears, with Benny being stabbed by Ted just under the ribs. In episode 2, Ragatha gets stabbed with a pointy rock that penetrates the car they're driving. (Again, she is completely fine from this so the impact is clearly different, and it's more of a throw-away gag, but I wonder if this was intentional.)

The human casts:

Breaking the cast of IHNMAIMS down one by one, we have: Ted, the narrator who is cynical and often the voice of reason. The has harsh opinions about the others in the group and is convinced that they hate him. He is also the youngest of them all and does not believe he has been changed much mentally by AM compared to others. He ultimately kills the others to free them and is doomed to an existence as a blob. Ellen, repeatedly dunked on by Ted's internal dialogue, she is the only female of the cast and is viewed as a "fake slut," showing empathy and concern for the others, especially Benny, which Ted writes off as her only doing because the two sleep together. Ted is constantly skeptical of her and believes her to be often lying, with his view of her clearly skewed due to misogyny and cynicism. She is killed by Ted after she kills Nimdok. Benny, previously a brilliant theorist and college professor, Benny appears to have gone through the most amount of changes by AM, body transformed to be ape-like, and has grown insane over time. He tries to escape and is blinded as punishment, and cracks at the end of the story, cannibalizing Gorrister. Gorrister, previously a conscientious objector and peace activist, AM twisted his mind to be apathetic, lacking passion. He is the one who appears to always explain the story of the war to Benny, who regularly forgets and is calmed by the familiar story. He is cannibalized by Benny and Ted puts him out of his misery. Nimdok, given that name by AM, who likes senseless words, is the one who convinces the others to go on the quest in search of food, even though he himself is aware it could be a trick. He frequently retreats, coming back pale and traumatized. He is killed by Ellen. Going through these characters, there definitely appear to be some parallels, the most obvious in that of Ted, Ellen, and Benny. While TADC more follows Pomni, the narrator Ted definitely seems to have a perspective that more fits Jax, especially with the cynical perspective, distrust of others, and specific hatred towards Ellen, who appears to be a parallel to Ragatha. Both Ted and Jax view these respective characters as fake in their displayed compassion, although Ted does care enough to kill her in the end, hoping her look was that of gratitude. Jax and Ted are also both the youngest of their respective casts (with Gooseworx saying in a Tumblr post that Jax is 22, with the next youngest character being Zooble, who is 22 1/2.) Then with Benny, we have Kinger, both previously academics (Kinger studied computer science for 7 years), and having been driven mad by the setting they've been forced into, with a bad memory at times. Gorrister appears apathetic, similar to Zooble often is, with both also comforting those around them at times (Gorrister telling Benny the familiar story to calm him, Zooble being compassionate towards Gangle.) Pomni and Nimdok are both given nonsense names (XDDCC), pushing for quests that others view as futile, and regularly traumatized. Nimdok and Zooble also both share the similarity that they tend to separate themselves from the group a lot of the time. Gangle is one I have more difficulty finding a parallel for. Her emotions seem dictated by her masks, which makes me think about how AM altered the emotional state of Gorrister (ultimately making him care less (which reminds me of Gangle in episode 4 where she starts falling apart.) Like Gorrister, she is the one attacked and eaten by a fellow cast member (although there does not appear to be any lasting effects on Gangle's end.) Zooble, Pomni, and Gangle are ultimately harder to find direct correlates for, but in the cast of Jax, Ragatha, and Kinger, there are definitely a lot of arguments that can be made to tie them to characters from the 1967 story.

The blobs. The story ends with Ted as a blob that is aware but unable to speak or act, trapped to exist in purgatory. This could be indicative of the nature of those who abstracted and point to the fact that they are aware to some capacity and trapped in the basement, showing that this isn't "death" so much as a new form of entrapment (possibly a safeguard because the game deems them too "unstable?) (Silly thing, but in the recent ad for the costumed TADC animiniz, it has Caine being the one to turn Kaufmo into his abstracted form. This isn't necessarily canon, since Gooseworx has discussed how they are not responsible for the merchandise produced (and subsequently, likely not the marketing) but I think it's a fun little thing to consider in the context of this story.)

The ending. What could this mean? Ted's fate, freeing the others while dooming himself, could point to how the characters will escape the circus. Unlike in IHNMAIMS, characters in TADC seem unable to kill each other, and abstraction possibly traps them in a different way (see the above point), so they may genuinely have a way to escape to the real world, but if it parallels the story's ending, it may be at the expense of one of the cast members.

But the question remains: who would be Ted? One theory going around, based on the Intermission we see in episode 5, is that Kinger will have the chance at freedom, but give it up, choosing to stay behind with his wife. This is based on how when the characters are crushed by either bowling balls (Jax and Pomni) or squashed with cake (Gangle and Ragatha), Kinger grabs the bowling ball before it can fall on him, then getting knocked down by a chess piece. The other possibility I see with this is Jax, who consistently aligns with Ted in terms of character traits and would likely be the one to take the step if escape required something extreme (like how Ted killed his fellow prisoners.) Considering the idea that what is seen in the Intermission does symbolize the future for the characters, this does give interesting implications for the ending of the show. Kinger ends up in the role of Ted, staying behind, while Jax and Pomni are "squashed" and Gangle and Ragatha are "caked" (which some fans theorize to mean that Jax and Pomni escape, while Gangle and Ragatha end up abstracted, which could be the case, or could represent in another way their fates, with maybe Ragatha and Gangle having a similar fate/being paired together at the end, while Jax, Pomni, and Kinger are grouped together, but Kinger sacrifices himself for them or something. Notice that Zooble is absent though, which makes the cast only five characters, the same amount in IHNMAIMS, and could mean that they possibly aren't part of the escape for whatever reason?

Will they see the outside? In IHNMAIMS, we have the sad ending of Ted being trapped for what seems like eternity with AM, although there doesn't appear to be much waiting for him outside other than a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We never see the outside, and are subjected, like Ted, to this prison. The question then is, will we see the outside in TADC? If the others escape, will we be able to see them come to (a "better" ending to IHNMAIMS tragic one), will we be trapped with whoever remains behind, will things end with them waking up, do they have anything to wake up to (how would their bodies have been maintained? Is escape just death, like it is in the story?)

The Amazing Digital Circus is only inspired by this short story, so it's possible that only the settings mirror each other, and there are no further implications, but I wanted to explore possibilities if TADC does end up drawing more from it. There are a lot of questions left unanswered currently, and until the time comes we won't know how much TADC parallels the story of the characters in "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream."

But yeah! This took me wayyyy too long to write, and again, I have no idea how much of this will end up meaning anything, but I wanted to break this down with that knowledge that TADC was inspired by Ellison's story!

[zeeboomblebee]

Something, something, Kai & Dragons-

Also I like these so I'm adding 'em

And :3 (Yeah I'm jokin w this last section btw)

[zeeboomblebee]

I think the whole thing with Jax's feelings on Ragatha is a prime example of a character saying something versus the show saying something. Jax might feel like Ragatha's taking advantage of Pomni by doing her pushed positivity routine, but it's pretty obvious she's not actually taking advantage of her. She's not using it as a means of getting Pomni to do anything for her, she just really, really wants Pomni to like her, and to not be as cruel as her mom was. There's a difference. If the show were wholesale against the idea of telling someone they're loved and appreciated, Kinger saying the same thing wouldn't be depicted in such a positive light.

Now, the fandom coddling Jax and demonizing Ragatha, that's a different story. That's just being shitty, probably more than a little misogynistic. All of these people are barely hanging on to sanity by a thread and while it's clear Jax is still grieving Ribbit, it doesn't excuse him terrorizing his fellow circus prisoners at every single opportunity.

It's a show about trapped humans under incomprehensible mental pressure, and how they all deal with that.

[zeeboomblebee]

Holy shit this. YES. Omg this is exactly the Ragatha analysis I’ve been waiting for and I totally think you hit the nail right on the head. Ragatha is such a tragic character, she’s trying so hard but between her past with her mother and this cruel prison everyone is trapped in, she finds herself excluded through really no one’s fault including her own (except perhaps partially Jax, who’s asshole behavior can be very intentional). I don’t blame any of the other characters for being hesitant to connect with her when she doesn’t offer the same vulnerability, but I also can’t blame Ragatha for continuing to try to use the defense mechanisms that she built to protect herself. It’s just so sad. I hope we can make a breakthrough with her character development and give her the connection she deserves, but we’ll just have to wait and see. Wonderful analysis tho, you have a true knack for it, OP.

"EPISODE 5 ISN'T A RAGATHA EPISO--"

So I just finished watching Episodes 4 and 5 of The Amazing Digital Circus for the third time because I’ve clearly given my life to this show and Gooseworx owns my soul. Genuinely, what phenomenal writing. I've seen mixed reception for episode five but I’m thrilled that the majority of the fandom can agree this episode was amazing. Because that means I can scream with all you FunnyBunny shippers and dedicated emotional wrecks alike.

Now. Let me get into why Episode 5 wasn’t just a Jax episode (though it very much was)—but why it was, at its core, Ragatha’s episode. This is gonna be long and laced with “am I overthinking this?” moments. Buckle up.

WHO IS RAGATHA?

When we first meet her in Episode One, she’s nice. Incredibly kind. Super peppy. But there's this teeny-tiny crack in that candy coating. She spirals, just a little, and we see a nervous, anxious edge slipping through her “positive vibes only” persona.

And that spiral? It’s not a one-time thing. It gets worse. The deeper you go into the series, the more you notice how her overbearing positivity feels less like optimism and more like a coping mechanism. A weaponized smile. She’s not just trying to cheer everyone up, she’s gaslighting herself into believing she has to be happy. She has to be likable. That it’s the only way she’ll be accepted.

And in the Digital Circus, where identity is shredded (like you forget your name for fuck's sakes) and everything’s performative? That’s not just sad...it’s devastating.

EPISODE 4: THE CRACKS BEGIN TO SHOW

Episode Four set the entire foundation. When Ragatha gets “stupid sauce” in her eyes and all her emotional filters drop, you finally see her. She stops curating how she’s perceived and just exists...and what comes out? She reminisces of her life (which gets confirmed in Episode 5). Gangle tries to warn her she might get hurt, and her response is almost eerie in how casually she brushes it off.

Sure, it could be a nod to Raggedy Ann and all that doll-abuse lore, but when you learn about Ragatha’s real past: abusive, narcissistic mother, high-society pressure cooker upbringing...that “hurt” starts feeling very literal. Maybe this line wasn’t just random doll humor. Maybe it’s a whisper of childhood trauma, manifesting through a false smile.

And then comes the Gloink Queen. The way Ragatha lights up at the idea of a mother who genuinely cherishes every single one of her hundreds of children? I fucking felt that. It wasn’t just admiration; it was longing. Desperation. Like she never got that kind of love growing up, so the concept itself is intoxicating. It’s this quiet heartbreak that adds a whole new layer to her need for approval.

She hates Jax. Let’s be real. He antagonizes her constantly, pushes every one of her buttons (he literally threw her in a goddamn vat of boiling oil for fucks sakes). But the part that wrecks me? She doesn’t want him to hate her. Not because she likes him, but because anyone disliking her is unbearable. Being disliked means she failed. Means she’s unworthy. Means she’s alone.

That’s why her facade, this grinning, chipper armour? It's everything. And the more we see of her, the more we understand that it’s crumbling.

I NEED YOU ALL TO LOCK THIS SCENE INTO YOUR BRAINS, OKAY? Because this exact emotional thread gets replayed like a broken record all throughout Episode Five. It’s not just a one-off moment, it’s the theme. The cast knows Ragatha’s cheer is fake. And honestly? It makes sense. They’ve been stuck together for who-knows-how-long, and you learn a lot about someone in that kind of nightmare.

But here’s the thing: when someone keeps pushing toxic positivity, constantly trying to “cheer you up” without actually listening, it doesn’t help. It hurts. It makes the person reaching out feel like they’re talking to a wall. Ragatha so badly wants people to open up to her, but she’s terrified of doing the same in return, and that’s where the entire disconnect lies. She’s hyper-aware of how she’s perceived. Her self-image is a prison. And at the core of it all?

Rejection.

Her biggest, ugliest, most soul-deep fear. Because rejection leads to isolation. And isolation? Leads straight back to the kind of loneliness she probably drowned in as a child.

Now, you're probably wondering: why am I still going off about Episode Four when I promised this was a breakdown of Episode Five?

Because Episode Four is the breadcrumb trail. It's the soft warning. The writer’s subtle little “hey, pay attention to her” moment. It’s the appetizer. It preps us, emotionally and narratively, for the main course of Episode Five, where Ragatha's carefully-constructed image begins to crack and we finally, finally, start to understand the full scope of her trauma.

Let’s address the big criticism real quick: a lot of people think this was a Jax-centric episode. And I get it. Jax got depth, growth, actual backstory. But here’s my take: Jax and Ragatha are each other’s foils.

One is warm, soft-spoken, always smiling, but secretly repressing everything real.

The other is brash, rude, antagonistic—but when he opens up? He’s real. He’s genuine.

They’ve been clashing since Episode One, and their dynamic works because they’re mirrors: distorted, but parallel.

Why was using Jax as Ragatha’s foil so brilliant? Because it does two huge things. First, it finally shows us Jax as a person instead of just telling us he’s a dick with a smile. But more importantly?

It amplifies Ragatha.

A foil, by definition, is a character who highlights the traits of another character by contrasting with them. And what better way to show Ragatha’s entire internal collapse than by placing her beside someone who, while difficult and abrasive, actually manages to connect with someone else?

Because as Jax grows closer to Pomni, the very connection Ragatha has been chasing since Day One, it throws Ragatha’s failures into painful high-def. She’s tried everything. She’s been kind, supportive, the “good friend.” And yet, it’s not her Pomni opens up to. It’s not her Pomni laughs with.

And that is why Episode Five is a Ragatha episode. Maybe not in the obvious, center-stage way. But in the subtle, devastating unraveling that plays out just beneath the surface.

Now, let’s talk receipts. I’ve got observations, breakdowns, and repeat viewings of Episodes Four and Five loaded and ready.

I don’t know if it was a deliberate artistic choice or just an organic part of the scene composition, but I can’t not point out how telling it is that the characters are all paired off: Jax and Pomni, Kinger with Zooble and Gangle, and yet Ragatha? She’s standing off in the distance. Alone. Isolated. Visibly excluded from every natural dynamic.

And I really want to believe that was purposeful. A quiet visual cue for us, the audience, to understand not just the social dynamics of the group, but how deeply disconnected Ragatha truly is from the others.

Honestly, I think this was the moment her carefully held-together mask started to split. The start of the spiral. Go back to the earlier episodes and you’ll start noticing it: Ragatha drops a lot of sharp, snarky comments. Some subtle. Some cutting. Whether intentional or not, those little moments are emotional leaks. She drops her filter more often around Jax, which makes sense, she hates him. She doesn’t bother hiding it. But the fact that her snark surfaces at all tells us something: the mask is slipping.

Think about Episode One, when Ragatha spirals, it’s visceral. It’s raw and disturbing in a way the others’ breakdowns just… aren’t. Why? Because for Ragatha, cracking isn’t just about stress or fear. It’s about exposing something she’s worked so hard to hide: her real, “ugly,” human feelings. She’s repressed them for so long, forced herself to smile through it all, because she believes that if she isn’t likable, if she isn’t “good,” she’ll be abandoned.

And now? That bottle’s starting to shake.

I'll circle back to this moment when I dive into the bar scene later (because oof—there’s so much there), but let’s keep things chronological for now.

Right after Ragatha leaves, Jax drops a line on Pomni: “[She] is taking advantage of you.” And it hits especially hard because just before that, Gangle told Pomni she didn’t think Ragatha was genuine. That? That’s when the discomfort surrounding Ragatha starts to really take shape.

Here’s why I think that hit a nerve with the rest of the cast.

They are all constantly fighting for their sanity. For their identities. They’re trapped in this surreal, terrifying digital purgatory where reality is questionable at best and all they’ve got are each other. That’s it. Just a bunch of strangers trying not to fall apart or, worse, abstract.

And when you're in that space? Vulnerability becomes everything. And it’s risky.

Being vulnerable to the wrong person, someone who doesn’t reciprocate, or worse, uses your openness against you is traumatic. It teaches you to close up. To withdraw.

To stop trying.

Now imagine reaching out to someone like Ragatha, who seems supportive on the surface, who says the right things, but there’s a disconnect. You don’t feel like you’re being seen. You don’t feel safe. You don’t feel like you’re talking to someone who’s willing to meet you in the mess.

And when that happens? Of course they gravitate elsewhere. Of course they pair off, find comfort in each other, and leave her on the fringes.

What hurts the most, though, is this: Ragatha wants connection. She’s starving for it. But she doesn’t know how to give it back in a way that feels real. She’s so wrapped up in being “the nice one,” the peacemaker, the cheerful glue of the group, that she can’t drop the act—even when it’s pushing people away. Even when it’s exactly what’s isolating her.

She wants to be close. She just doesn’t know how to be vulnerable.

Now, the biggest lore drop of Ragatha's past, let's break this down:

Throughout the entire series so far, Ragatha always speaks with this carefully curated tone: gentle, friendly, overly polite. But every time she gets a moment alone to monologue? It always derails. Every time. Her words unravel, her tone falters, and what starts as “everything’s fine” ends with something much darker, much sadder.

And this scene? God. This one hurt. Because when she starts talking about her mother, it stops feeling like just another breakdown. It feels like the core of her trauma is being yanked out into the open. She’s clearly an adult. Had a life. A career. Probably responsibilities and routines. And yet, that wound from her mother is still festering: deep, raw, and most importantly?

Completely unresolved.

This is where you see her coping mechanisms in full force. Ragatha has this heartbreaking tendency to downplay her own pain. She’ll smile through it, make a light comment, move on like it doesn’t ache. But it does. And that habit? It sabotages her ability to connect with people in a real, vulnerable way. Because how can someone share mutual pain with you if you never admit to having any? If you can’t even be real with yourself?

Remember when she confessed she hates Jax, but she doesn’t want Jax to hate her? That moment says everything. That desperate need to be liked, even by someone who openly antagonizes her, speaks volumes about her internal wiring. She’s terrified of rejection. Of being disliked. Of being seen as not enough.

And this scene, to me, is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the show. Ragatha is caught in this awful limbo: she wants connection, deeply. She wants friendship, understanding, belonging. But the second she senses discomfort, awkwardness, even the slightest ripple of tension, she backpedals. She shrinks. She brushes it off with a laugh or a sugar-coated phrase. And that’s exactly why the others can’t reach her.

She’s surrounded by people and still completely alone.

This scene also confirms what we’ve suspected all along: her mother had impossibly high standards. That nothing Ragatha did was ever good enough. That she had to perform perfection just to maybe receive love. It was a transaction. "Be the perfect little girl, the perfect daughter, the perfect doll, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll earn affection."

So of course she acts like this now. Of course she wraps herself in forced smiles and gentle words. Because somewhere deep down, she still believes that if she slips, if she messes up, if she shows anything “ugly”...then no one will love her.

Jax was a grade A asshole for this one. No sugarcoating it. He knew how badly Ragatha wanted to be Pomni’s friend. He’s not clueless. So when he swooped in and started getting close to her? Of course it triggered Ragatha. You could practically see her flinch.

And that sting? It echoes through the rest of the episode five from that point onwards. Especially when they get to the ball game scene.

That was the moment Ragatha finally let some of that bottled-up frustration out. She flat-out called Jax out, asking why he was trying to influence Pomni into acting like some careless, insensitive jerk. And yeah, on the surface it seems like just another clash between the two of them, but if you look a little closer (and maybe I’m reaching this), there’s something deeper going on.

From earlier episodes, we’ve seen Ragatha has this habit of telling Pomni how she should feel. She does it in this oddly motherly tone, like she’s trying to guide her, but in a way that almost infantilizes her. In Episode Two, in the candy kingdom bit, Ragatha starts talking to Pomni like she’s a child and Pomni immediately shuts it down: “I’m not a kid.”

That wasn’t just sass.

That was a boundary.

And it clicked for me: Ragatha might be echoing her mother’s behavior here. That condescending tone disguised as “help.” The “cheer up, it’s not that bad” mindset. The insistence that things should be okay, instead of just lettingpeople feel. Maybe that’s all she ever knew. And now, she’s unknowingly replicating it.

So when she follows Pomni’s advice to “try being a jerk sometimes,” and it backfires, when Pomni looks at her, clearly uncomfortable, it hits Ragatha like a rock. That same feeling of rejection, all over again.

And did anyone else notice the glitch when she apologized? Because I sure as hell did. It was subtle, but holy fuck, please don't be the next abstraction!

Then came the "Pomni Saves the Day (Almost)" scene, when it’s her turn to bat. She asks Ragatha if she wants to take her place, to "redeem" herself from her earlier miss. And for just a second, Ragatha lights up. It’s this tiny flicker of hope. Maybe this is her chance. Maybe she can fix things.

Maybe she’s needed.

But then… the game was already over and they won before she had a chance to bat because their evil version is basically KO'd. She turns to Pomni and sees them.

Pomni and Jax. Laughing. Close. Connected.

And suddenly that hope? It deflates.

Just like in the stargazing scene, we get this physical distance motif again. Ragatha is always just far enough to see the connection—but never be part of it. And in that moment, you can see it on her face, this quiet, confused heartbreak. The kind of grief that doesn’t explode...it just sinks in. Like she’s trying to understand why her kindness, her effort, her presence was never enough. Why being “nice” only pushed Pomni further away.

That expression she gives, caught somewhere between confusion, disappointment, and slowly-processed loss? God, that got me. It wrecked me. Because in that moment, she’s not angry. She’s not dramatic.

She’s just... alone.

And then finally… the nail in the coffin. The moment where the silent divide between Pomni and Ragatha becomes undeniable. The moment the entire show has been quietly building toward since Episode One.

Ragatha, who has tried so hard to make Pomni smile. To be her rock. To forge a connection. She wants that closeness. She craves that intimacy. But instead, she watches as Pomni laughs, genuinely, mind you, and effortlessly at Jax’s antics. And the second Pomni notices Ragatha looking? Her smile drops. Instantly. That joy disappears, replaced by awkwardness, tension, that same guarded expression we’ve seen before.

And it says everything.

Pomni can’t be herself around Ragatha. She doesn’t feel safe doing so. She might think Ragatha is a “nice enough” person… but that’s it. That’s where the connection ends. She doesn’t let her guard down. Doesn’t let Ragatha in. Because Ragatha, in all her curated cheer, never really opens up either.

And then the show drives it home with brutal elegance: the group starts to drift off, one by one, naturally falling into their new little dynamics. And Ragatha? Left standing in the middle. Alone. Forgotten. No one turns to her. No one invites her. She’s just there.

For all the time she’s spent in the Digital Circus, Pomni managed to connect with everyone else. Even Jax. And that, right there, is pure devastation for me.

Because all Ragatha has ever known is people-pleasing. That’s how she survives. That’s what she was taught. Be the sunshine, be the good girl, be agreeable and comforting and helpful then you’ll be loved. Then you’ll be safe. But what happens when that mask doesn’t work? When it actually pushes people away instead of bringing them in?

She doesn’t know how to express her loneliness. She doesn’t know how to say, “I’m hurting too.” Because that’s not what was modeled for her. That’s not what her mother taught her.

And this...this right fucking here is why Gooseworx was so right when they said this was a Ragatha episode.

Because Ragatha’s character flaws, the heart of her tragedy, are brought into the light not by spotlighting her, but by quietly contrasting her with a pair of characters we never expected to bond: Jax and Pomni.

From the start, we’re fed this narrative: Jax is an asshole. He teases Pomni. He’s rude, smug, abrasive. And yet… Pomni starts to soften around him. She connects. She even laughs. And you start to wonder...why is he getting through to her when Ragatha can’t?

Because Jax, in his own messed-up way, gets real. He opens up. He admits things. He’s emotionally messy, but it’s genuine. And that rawness, that honesty, is something Ragatha can’t allow herself to show. So while Jax slowly reveals the depth beneath his snark, Ragatha clings to her role: the always-smiling, ever-positive comfort character.

And that contrast? It’s heartbreaking.

You see it at the very end. How alone she is. And the cruel twist? She’s probably the one who needs connection the most. But she’s so stuck in her pattern, so locked in that internalized belief that she has to perform to be loved, that she ends up isolating herself even further.

I can’t stop thinking about this: Ragatha feels like someone who’s spent her entire life just close enough to be seen, but never close enough to be reached. She’s the background character in her own life: present, smiling, helpful… and utterly alone.

And maybe the reason so many people felt like this episode was more about Jax than Ragatha is because we’re supposed to feel her slipping into the background. Just like the cast is starting to overlook her, we as the audience are starting to, too.

That slow fade?

It’s intentional.

Thank you for coming to my rant. I never done a character analysis before, but I just fucking love this series so much.

[zeeboomblebee]

Ahahaha @lori-the-dragon-ninja idk I was just randomly reminded of us

Fun fact: the guys at our college’s geology department prop out the doors with their samples. I totally understand why but as someone whose work with samples is necessarily super delicate and sterile it fucks me up so bad

[zeeboomblebee]

THEY MAKE ME EMOTIONAL

[zeeboomblebee]

No same tho. I’ve never even been particularly fond of Jax, and don’t mind him getting a taste of his own medicine, but that maid dress definitely seemed like it struck a nerve. Seeing Jax so genuinely distressed kinda sucked away any humor I felt. This entire ep made me significantly more invested in his character lol

This episode has made me a transmasc Jax truther

[zeeboomblebee]

Omg Gigi is feeding us!!

Need her to be mine animatic available on Patreon! :D

[zeeboomblebee]

What they don’t tell you about getting into bird watching is that once you get into it, you do not get to decide when you bird watch. You can be on the beach of some distant tropical country with nothing planned except relaxing. But then you see a Common Fluttering Nut Buster and you’re like fuckkkkkkkk holy shit guys the Common Fluttering Nut Buster is not supposed to life this far west holy shitttttttttt

[zeeboomblebee]

Those dang freeloaders. He’s gotta start pulling his weight!!

My good-for-nothing roommate* refuses to perform his share of the household chores.**

*Cat.

**Sat on the rug ignoring a massive spider while I stood on the sofa and told him to ‘use what evolution gave you and GET THAT THING!’

[zeeboomblebee]

Ohmygod im so here for this-

Speaking of. While I already have a rough outline for part two of the Road Trip AU, I might have to make a bunch of vague references to the ‘Ikea incident’. It’s never stated outright what happened. But it’s spoken of only in hushed, horrified tones.

[zeeboomblebee]

I totally get it lol, those are the best kinds of ideas hehehe. Take your time, enjoy bringing them into creation!!

Also I mean to leave a comment on the last chapter but for now aaa fricken loved it so much, this really is one of my favorite Epic fics lol

to fall is to learn one way - Chapter 9 - figureitoutinthemorning - EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums) [Archive of Our Own]

And that’s a wrap!

[zeeboomblebee]

*pops up from the void, ears perked up*

Full Speed Ahead follow up???? 👀

to fall is to learn one way - Chapter 9 - figureitoutinthemorning - EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums) [Archive of Our Own]

And that’s a wrap!

[zeeboomblebee]

Eeeee I’m so glad you like it :3.

Im literally an ornithologist, I need to get better at drawing birds bc I almost never do lmao. If that motivation comes from drawing an owl OC and a Greek goddess from a fanfic of a musical adaptation of the Odyssey, so be it XD

So… last night I was thinking about Chloe and her silly vocalizations and it suddenly struck me how TINY Athena would be as an owl compared to her (if we go by Athena’s owl form being that of a Little Owl) and. It activated the art bug.

So anyway have this quick, messy, VERY experimental doodle of Chloe joining in on the comfort train and wrestling Athena into an undignifying preening session (this immortal goddess just got bullied by a 2 year old; she doesn’t want to admit it but she’s totally dozing off) anyway byeeeeIloveyourficitlivesinmyhead-

(I cannot believe this is technically my first EPIC fanart dkshfjgkh)

Aaaaaa this is amazing!!!! I’m in the library right now and I want to run around showing this to everyone!!!

I’m just like. Aaaaaaa. Owls!!!! Look at them both, they’re so cute. 🥹🥹🥹

[zeeboomblebee]

YES YES YES I LOVE THIS ANALYSIS!!!

The ICHBW live stream animatic is hitting me hard hours after the fact I’m not a crier but I’m actually tearing up. Now I can fully articulate what I love about Athena’s part. Athena’s character came together so well I love it and I think the visuals combined with a day more of thinking + discussing with friends really helped me better understand everything. Those last 90 seconds of ICHBW was the BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE SHOW. Ridiculously long Athena character analysis under the cut which quickly devolves into thematic discussion lmao

First of all, the expressions they have on the animatic makes it abundantly clear that ody and Athena weren’t separated. HER SMILE!! HER LIGHTNING SCAR!! ODYSSEUS’ EXPRESSION SOFTENED TO A SMILE AFTER GETTING OUT OF QUICK THOUGHT!! Odysseus definitely pieced together what she did for her right then, there’s no other reason for Jorge to show Athena showing Odysseus that scar otherwise. It’s like they immediately slid back into place like puzzles pieces even after 10 years. They’ve been changed in completely opposite ways. Odysseus the mortal has been turned to be less human, more ruthless, while Athena the immortal goddess has been turned to be more human, more empathetic. The latter partially because of Odysseus. Tbh Athena ever showing her face to Odysseus after My Goodbye and saying “I can’t help but feel like I’ve led you astray” is as close to an apology as it’s gonna get LMAO. The unresolved WOTM melody in the end is actually because their story together hasn’t ended, it’s because Odysseus doesn’t have to be her warrior of the mind anymore.

I once said that open arms is more than mercy, but treating the world kindly to lead to kinder souls down the road, to change the world for the better, and it holds true even more now. Odysseus is too tired for this. He’s just a man, he knows a better world is possible but he can no longer be a part of it. He can’t witness the better world in his short mortal lifetime, he just wants his happy ending with his wife. He doesn’t want to be Athena’s warrior of the mind anymore, and that’s ok. And yet, and yet he knows it is possible. He needs it to be possible, and he needs Athena to make it possible. Athena accepts it with a soft “very well”. That doesn’t mean they won’t ever see each other again, just that they no longer have that obligation of mentor-student, they’re just two old friends. They can rebuild their relationship slowly but surely with what they have.

Telemachus is the Warrior of the Mind now (AHHHHHH HIS ATHENA CAPE AND HELMET I LOVE HIS UPGRADE). From here, Telemachus and Athena are gonna truly fulfill Athena’s mission of “making a greater tomorrow” except it isn’t to turn the world more logical and ruthless like she once thought, but to make the world more empathetic and kind — she’s finally found what she was fighting for. Perhaps this is why the WOTM melody in God Games ended with Legendary — Telemachus is the new warrior of the mind. Odysseus fought for a world where his son can be safe and grow up kind and he succeeded in that. Far from war, Telemachus grew up able to afford kindness and empathy while also retaining the ability to be ruthless in face of obstacles — and now he can use this to change the world to Athena’s new ideal — where people held each other with more empathy — as Athena’s new Warrior of the Mind.

Athena’s verse existing is a sign of her reconciliation with Odysseus (in character might I add! I don’t think they’re the type to express their affection so easily, they know each other so we’ll that they just know), so instead her verse is there to expand on the show’s theme as I will be talking about next.

I absolutely adore the depth Athena’s ICHBW verse adds to the thesis of the show. I’ve always thought of epic as mostly being about how it was best to strive for a balance between ruthlessness and open arms, but circumstances only allowed Odysseus to become ruthless which was tragic, while different circumstances allowed Telemachus to be both. But it’s not just that. Sure it’s good to have a balance between the two ideaologies but what if we could make a world where ruthlessness wasn’t needed at all? What if we could be unconditionally kind and be treated with kindness in return instead of taken advantage of or hurt? Where, when given the choice between open arms and ruthlessness, people would choose open arms? It wasn’t possible for these characters, but it could happen someday in the future. If Athena and Telemachus can work towards that future so can we. So should we, considering we’re in a much better place compared to them. A friend of mine said this was a call to action to us in the present and I just. Have not been able to stop thinking about it.

Athena has always thought in “maybes” about her purpose. from WOTM to My Goodbye we’ll be fine to ICHBW. “Maybe one day…” -> “One day you’ll…” -> “maybe if I…” -> “what if…” it’s like she’s representing the future, the “greater tomorrow” of what could be, because as Odysseus said, she’s immortal and she will live to see it and change it. Circe saga has something similar — “Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road”, “maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more, or maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer more”. The connection of these hypotheticals “maybe one day” with a future world that could possibly be changed for the better by spreading kindness and open arms extends from Athena’s songs to There are Other Ways, one of the only times in the musical where, when Circe could choose between ruthlessness and mercy, she chose to show mercy and help them in hopes of spreading kindness to the world and making the world a slightly better place — aka a scenario that showed how unconditional kindness, “open arms”, could work, for kindness isn’t the inability to be cruel but choosing kindness even when you have the choice not to be. “Kindness is brave”, like Polites said.

Because of her immortality, Athena is the character who’s most connected to “time” in the musical with her time-related abilities like “time dive”, making people think quicker, having a domain essentially outside of time and space… She doesn’t just have a connection with the future but also the past. As someone who lives forever, she is the one who can connect the past, learning from past mistakes, to change the future: “To fall is to learn one way”.

Speaking of her connection to time, You can almost see that at one point Athena was the narrator of the story (see cut songs: full speed ahead demo and Ismarus) like Hamilton’s Burr: simultaneously an observer and a participant of the story. In the animatic of ICHBW she’s overseeing everything happening from her hour glass, wondering out loud from a meta perspective about the themes of the show, hypotheticals of what a different story, a different world could have looked like, and bringing everything to a close. It really feels like Athena is who’s gonna “live and tell their story” as per Hamilton, as always has been the case from burrthena narration days of Old Epic. She’s not just the bridge between the past and future but also between the story and the audience, by bringing up these themes on a meta level to directly tell the audience to make the world a kinder place, because we have the choice, unlike Odysseus who can only choose to accept his actions and move forward. Because she lives forever she can carry on their memories forever. She can keep telling their story over and over again to remind herself and others to change the world by showing empathy and open arms, and she will keep telling this story to us until ruthlessness is no longer needed in the world. The world where this is possible is not theirs but OURS. It is WE who have the chance to choose between ruthlessness and open arms and the show is telling us that, when we have this choice and aren’t forced to be ruthless, to always choose kindness and empathy. Like Circe, like Telemachus. So that we may impart some kindness unto the world and make it a better place.

“Maybe one day we’ll reach them and we’ll make a greater tomorrow then they’ll see I know we’ll change the world cuz we are the warriors of the mind!” — yes, they have reached us. We are all also warriors of the mind, doing our part to change the world for the better, to be kinder.

To me, one part of Athena’s character that’s never clicked for me was her motivation in WOTM. “Make a greater tomorrow” “we’ll change the world” why? How? What’s the point of including this in her song when it’s never come back up again? Now with the ICHBW verse, everything is tied up with a beautiful ribbon. She has always wanted to change the world for the better, and now she’s finally found out how — to spread empathy and Open Arms — and it’s inspired by the desire to help her friends, to prevent what happened to Odysseus from happening again, honoring him, just as how Odysseus tried to embrace Open Arms to honor his dead friends’ memories.

All in all, I’ve grown to genuinely really really like Athena’s verse in ICHBW. It’s so short but so effective at conveying so much. I hope that made sense bc it’s more a compilation of thoughts I had rather than a structured essay. Perhaps one day I will restructure this into a proper essay but not today for after all I’m- *gets shot

[zeeboomblebee]

Wait no this is literally meeee 😭😭

Me and @mer-acle @figureitoutinthemorning and @therapybard works

They're the best, I love them <33