zeivivii

[zeivivii]

“Drag Me to the Mission: Gojo’s Fabulous Mistake”

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader (established relationship)

Sequel to: "Latina Makeup Challenge… On Gojo Satoru?"

Genre: Humor, Domestic Chaos, Hilarious Fluff

---

Tokyo Jujutsu Tech–Dorms, 3:30 PM –Post-Latina-Makeup Challenge

The lashes were still fluttering.

The lip gloss was unapologetically plump.

Gojo Satoru was spinning in front of the mirror like he was auditioning for Drag Race: Sorcerer Edition.

---

Gojo: “Okay, but like—what if I go full drag next? Glitter. Heels. Wig. All of it.”

Y/N (half-asleep, still holding a beauty blender like a war survivor): “You’re kidding.”

Gojo (dead serious): “Y/N. Baby. Mi amor. Gojorita was just the beginning. It’s time for my villain era.”

---

One Online Order and Two Hours Later…

Gojo stood in the living room in 6-inch stilettos, a sparkly red mini dress, lace front wig, and rhinestones on his face like he just walked out of a Vegas showgirl afterparty.

Y/N: “…I said you could wear drag, not become Beyoncé.”

Gojo (striking a pose): “I’m feeling fierce, flirty, and incredibly unstable on these shoes.”

---

Then the cursed energy buzzed.

A call.

From Principal Yaga.

Yaga (over the phone): “Satoru. Urgent mission. Go now.”

Gojo (heels clicking): “I—uh—I can’t.”

Yaga: “Why?”

Gojo: “I’M IN HEELS, YAGA. 6-INCH. WIG. LASHES. I LOOK LIKE A FABULOUS POWERPUFF GIRL.”

---

15 Minutes Later – Outside the Mission Site

Y/N sat in the car watching Gojo trying to run across the street in heels with his dress riding up and wig slightly askew.

Y/N (recording): “POV: Your man forgot he’s the strongest but remembered he’s dramatic.”

Gojo (yelling): “NO ONE SAID BEING BEAUTIFUL WAS A BATTLE. These heels are cursed. Why do women suffer like this?!”

---

Cursed Spirit (when he arrives): “…What the—?”

Gojo (lip-gloss shimmering): “Time to exorcise you with style, b*tch.”

He proceeds to do his Infinite Void with one heel breaking midair.

---

Post-Mission

Gojo limps back, lashes askew, one heel missing, dress stained with cursed goo, yet his lip gloss?

Still. On. Point.

Y/N: “Never again?”

Gojo: “…Okay but next time, I’m adding sequins.”

[zeivivii]

"One Shot, One Makeup Challenge: Gojo’s Most Chaotic Night Yet"

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader (established relationship)

Genre: Humor, Domestic Chaos, Fluff

---

Gojo & Y/N’s Apartment – Friday Night, 8:56 PM

Nobara’s voice echoed from your phone speaker.

Nobara: “Y/N-sensei, I dare you to do the One Shot, One Makeup Challenge. One shot of alcohol per makeup step. Don’t be a coward.”

You, bold and possibly slightly too sober, accepted.

But in your defense, how bad could it be?

Turns out?

Worse than the time Yuji put wasabi in Megumi’s mouthwash.

---

Camera ON – 9:12 PM

The ring light is on. The alcohol? Open. The brushes? Ready.

Y/N (to the camera): “Step one: Primer. Shot one. Let’s GO.”

downs it like a cham

“Wow. That tastes like regret and college trauma.”

By shot three (eyeshadow), you’re humming Unholy and trying to blend three violently clashing colors because they “remind you of Nanami’s tie.”

Y/N: “This color’s called Existential Crisis Blue. Perfect for the inner corner, right?”

You stab yourself in the eye with a glitter wand and blink twice.

Y/N: “Pain is temporary. Sparkle is forever.”

---

Gojo Enters – 9:33 PM

The door creaks open.

Gojo steps in wearing sweatpants, holding a popsicle, and mentally unprepared for what he sees.

Gojo: “Why does it smell like tequila, glitter, and possible demonic possession in here—”

He stops short.

Y/N has one brow glued to their forehead, lipstick on their nose, and is now attempting to contour with chocolate pudding.

Y/N (grinning): “Hey babe. Do I look hot? Be honest.”

Gojo: “You look like Picasso took a personal vendetta out on your face.”

---

Chaos Escalates – 9:50 PM

Shot 6: Attempted winged eyeliner.

Shot 7: Highlighter... on every exposed limb.

Y/N: “If I stand in the sun tomorrow, I will literally blind people.”

Gojo: “Okay, I love you, but I’m putting the fire extinguisher near the vanity just in case.”

Megumi walks past the living room window, sees the mess, and walks right back out.

---

10:15 PM – The Aftermath

Gojo finally pries the eyeliner from your hand, places you gently on the couch, and hands you water.

Y/N: “I could’ve been a makeup influencer, Satoru. I had vision.”

Gojo (patting your head): “Sweetheart, you had double vision. There’s a difference.”

Y/N: “You're just jealous of my glow.”

Gojo (deadpan): “I’m scared your highlighter has its own cursed energy.”

---

Later – Curled Up on the Couch

You’re half-asleep in Gojo’s hoodie, eyes still slightly shimmering from residual sparkle fallout.

He kisses your forehead.

Gojo: “Next time, we do this together. I wanna see if I can apply blush blindfolded.”

Y/N: “You’d still look hot and I hate that.”

[zeivivii]

"Latina Makeup Challenge… On Gojo Satoru?"

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader (established relationship)

Genre: Humor, Fluff, Absolute Chaos

---

Tokyo Jujutsu Tech – Dorm Room, 2:03 PM

It started like any normal day.

Which, of course, means it wasn’t normal at all.

You sat cross-legged on the floor, ring light glowing, your makeup kit out like a weapon arsenal. The label on your camera read:

“LATINA MAKEUP CHALLENGE: BOYFRIEND EDITION”

Target: Gojo Satoru – 6'3 of chaos, cockiness, and unblended energy.

---

Gojo (smirking): “Mi amor~ You sure you wanna mess with perfection?”

Y/N (grinning): “Yes. Because perfection doesn’t flinch at eyeliner.”

Gojo: “Touché.”

---

Challenge Begins – 2:05 PM

Step 1: Full Coverage Foundation

You slapped on the shade closest to his soul (which is translucent).

Gojo (laughing): “Why do I look like a frosted sugar cookie?”

Y/N: “That’s just the base. You’ll look like J.Lo at the Grammys soon, I promise.”

---

Step 2: Thick Brows

You armed yourself with a black pencil like a sword.

Gojo: “Wait—Y/N. My natural brows are already fierce!”

Y/N (drawing like an artist possessed): “And now they’re *regal.* Sit still, ‘brow-dalicious’.”

---

Step 3: Heavy Contour + Snatched Nose

His cheekbones could already cut glass. Now they could slice cursed spirits.

Gojo (admiring in the mirror): “I look like a sexy, slightly evil telenovela villain.”

Y/N: “You look like you have a secret twin and a family fortune.”

---

Step 4: Brown Eyeshadow + Winged Eyeliner

Attempting winged liner on Gojo is like painting eyeliner on a hyperactive flamingo.

Gojo: “OW—Wait. No. That’s my eyebrow! That’s not even the lid, cariño!”

Y/N: “Stop blinking like a frightened rabbit!”

---

Step 5: False Lashes

Gojo squinted dramatically.

Gojo (fluttering lashes): “How do people fight curses with these things? I feel like I’m batting away spirits with my eyelids.”

---

Step 6: Lip Combo – Liner + Lipstick + Gloss

Y/N (concentrating): “Pout.”

Gojo (puckering like a confused duck): “Like this?”

Y/N: “You look like you’re about to ask for extra ketchup.”

---

Final Look – 2:46 PM

You stepped back to admire your masterpiece.

Brown shimmer eyes, razor-sharp contour, giant lashes, glossy nude lips, and brows so bold they could declare war.

Gojo (checking himself out): “Mamacita, who is that?! I’d date me.”

Y/N: “That’s the problem.”

Gojo: “Wait ‘til the students see me. I’m gonna tell them I’m your hotter cousin from Miami.”

---

Later – Faculty Lounge

Nanami choked on his coffee.

Shoko actually paused her cigarette.

Utahime just blinked in trauma.

Gojo (strutting): “Hola~ The name’s Gojorita. Tell me I’m stunning.”

Megumi (from across the hall): “I’m quitting Jujutsu Tech.”

[zeivivii]

“The Great Jujutsu Easter Egg War”

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Genre: Humor, Chaos, Fluff

Setting: Tokyo Jujutsu Tech — Easter Sunday

---

Jujutsu Tech Courtyard — Easter Morning, 10:00 AM

Principal Yaga declared it a “low-cursed-activity” day, so what did that mean?

A peaceful, spiritual break?

Absolutely not.

It meant Gojo Satoru got bored enough to organize an Easter Egg Hunt.

And not just any hunt.

A full-blown cursed egg war, where every egg had random cursed effects ranging from glitter bombs to accidental teleportation.

Gojo (in bunny ears): “Welcome, sorcerers! To the first annual Eggstravaganza Showdown! Loser gets egged. Winner gets Y/N’s homemade brownies.”

Y/N (from the sidelines): “I never agreed to that—”

Nobara: “I’M WINNING. MOVE.”

Yuji (already tripping over a glowing egg): “Why is mine hissing—WHY IS MINE HISSING?!”

---

11:00 AM — The Field of Eggpocalypse

The 1st and 2nd years are split into two teams. Megumi’s hiding in a tree. Panda is carrying Inumaki like a cursed egg drone.

Gojo?

He’s wearing full pink, hopping around in fuzzy slippers, and sneakily putting eggs in Y/N’s pockets like:

Gojo: “Oops, how’d that get there? Wow, your basket is so full. Just like my heart when you’re near—”

Y/N: “Stop flirting like a Disney bunny.”

Gojo (whispering): “What if I am your Easter Bunny?”

---

12:00 PM — Final Egg Count

Team Itadori: 14 eggs

Team Nobara: 16 eggs

Y/N’s basket (thanks to Gojo’s cheating): 43 eggs.

Gojo (smugly): “Wow, look at that! Y/N wins! What a coincidence. What a twist. What a… date night opportunity?”

Y/N (holding cursed glitter egg): “Say ‘date night’ again and I will personally turn you into an omelet.”

---

Later that Day — Everyone Covered in Glitter

Shoko is on the lawn with a hose trying to de-glitter Megumi. Yuji is still suspiciously glowing. Gojo has a plastic egg stuck in his hair.

Gojo (to Y/N): “Next holiday, I say we celebrate just the two of us. No cursed eggs. No blood. Just bunnies and love.”

Y/N: “So… like Valentine’s 2.0 but worse?”

Gojo: “Exactly!”

[zeivivii]

Haunted Hijinks

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Genre: Humor, light horror, fluff

Setting: Modern day Jujutsu Tech – Student bonding trip at a haunted house attraction

Featuring: Gojo, Y/N, Itadori, Megumi, Nobara, Maki, Panda, Inumaki, Yaga

Warnings: Jump scares, screaming, Gojo's ego bruised

---

"Team-building exercise," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.

Y/N stared blankly at the towering, creaky building in front of them—"The Curse Mansion: Real Hauntings, Real Screaming"—lit by flickering lanterns and the ominous sound of fake children laughing in the distance.

“This screams trauma,” Megumi muttered.

Gojo, standing beside Y/N with arms crossed and sunglasses on even though it was 9 PM, grinned. “Come on, where’s your spirit of adventure?”

“Probably hiding in the third floor bathroom with the cursed mannequin,” Panda replied.

Nobara cracked her knuckles. “If anything touches my hair, I’m punching first, asking questions never.”

---

10 minutes later…

The group entered. It was dark. Too dark.

A ghostly figure glided down the hallway.

Yuji screamed like a banshee. “WHY IS IT MOVING LIKE THAT?!”

“I THOUGHT THIS WAS FAKE!” Maki shouted, raising a broom she stole from a prop corner.

Gojo, smug as ever, turned to Y/N. “Not scared, are you?”

Before Y/N could answer, a loud hiss echoed, and a creepy baby doll fell from the ceiling right onto Gojo’s shoulder.

“OH HELL NO—” Gojo flailed dramatically and fell backward onto the floor. “Y/N PROTECT ME—”

“You have infinity!”

“EVEN INFINITY HAS ITS LIMITS WHEN HAUNTED DOLLS ARE INVOLVED!”

Y/N just stepped over him.

Inumaki casually tossed salt behind them. “Shake shake.”

---

30 minutes in…

They entered a room labeled “Cursed Dining.”

Everything was still. Too still.

A chair scraped behind them.

Gojo screamed. Loudly. Like a dramatic opera singer.

Megumi rolled his eyes. “This is the man they call the strongest.”

“I’m emotionally sensitive!” Gojo barked, hiding behind Y/N. “Also, that chair definitely moved on its own.”

A mannequin lunged.

Yuji grabbed Nobara.

Nobara punched Yuji.

Maki flipped a table.

Y/N tried to walk away.

Gojo clung to their arm like a koala. “Where you go, I go.”

“Let go of me, you are a grown man.”

“I AM YOUR GROWN MAN.”

Yaga, watching from the control booth through hidden cameras, sighed and sipped his tea. “This is what bonding looks like now?”

---

Finale: Maze of Lost Souls

Gojo got separated.

He was found five minutes later, holding hands with a very confused actor in a ghost costume.

“I thought you were Y/N,” Gojo said, betrayed.

The actor replied, “Sir, I’m literally 6’5” and bald.”

Gojo squinted. “I mean, Y/N has worn a bald cap before for that cursed TikTok—”

Y/N appeared. “Let go of him, I will duct-tape you to a cursed wall.”

---

Back outside.

Everyone was breathless, mildly traumatized, and covered in cobwebs.

Gojo plopped on the ground. “I saw my life flash before my eyes.”

“You tripped over your own feet,” Megumi muttered.

“I was being strategic.”

“You were screaming, ‘take my students, not me,’” Panda added.

Y/N tossed a juice box at his face. “Here. Hydrate, baby.”

Gojo beamed. “See? This is why we’re married in my head.”

Y/N: Drinks juice while plotting to sign him up for a solo horror escape room next week.

[zeivivii]

“Holy Week Havoc: Gojo’s Very Questionable Retreat”

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Y/N (GN)

Genre: Humor, Mildly sacrilegious chaos with respect, Soft Moments Amid Madness

Guest Stars: Nanami (tired), Shoko (sunburned), Yuuji (overexcited), Megumi (regret), Nobara (fighting mosquitoes)

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction created for lighthearted entertainment. It is not intended to offend any religion or belief. All Holy Week references are treated with humorous exaggeration and respect.

---

Act 1: The “Spiritual” Getaway

Gojo kicks open the dorm door, wearing flip-flops, sunglasses, and holding a brochure that reads:

“Cleansing the Soul & Eating Snacks by the Sea: A Holy Week Special”

Gojo: “PACK YOUR BAGS! We’re going on a retreat!”

You: “Spiritual retreat or Gojo-brand retreat?”

Gojo: “Yes.”

Nanami: “This feels like a sin.”

---

Act 2: Arrival at the Beachside Monastery

You arrive at a peaceful monastery run by old monks who immediately side-eye Gojo like he’s a walking Wi-Fi signal.

Shoko: “This is kinda nice. Quiet. Reflective.”

Gojo: playing bongos at 7 AM

Yuuji: “They said no meat today, but I saw Gojo eating bacon in a closet.”

Megumi: “This isn’t spiritual. This is Gojo with sunburn and a god complex.”

---

Act 3: The Stations of the Snack

During the Good Friday observance, Gojo suggests a new tradition:

Gojo: “Behold... the Stations of the Snackrifice. Each station has symbolic meaning. And chips.”

Nobara: “I will throw holy water at you.”

Gojo: “It’s gluten-free!”

At Station 3, he pretends to trip and yells, “I have fallen… for these rice crackers.”

Nanami considers walking into the sea.

---

Act 4: Confession Booth Disaster

Gojo sneaks into the confession booth.

You catch him handing out Uno cards and saying “Draw four to cleanse your sins.”

Monk: “Sir, this is sacred space.”

Gojo: “Exactly! Sacred games. Want in?”

You drag him out by the hood.

Gojo: “You’re cute when you’re holy-angry.”

---

Act 5: Black Saturday Bonfire

That night, everyone gathers for a peaceful bonfire.

Shoko brings grilled fish.

Yuuji plays acoustic guitar.

Gojo? He’s roasting marshmallows shaped like cursed spirits.

You: “Why is this one shaped like Mahito?”

Gojo: “Because I like watching him burn.”

Megumi: “...that’s fair.”

Suddenly, thunder.

A monk peers out from the temple.

“Gojo Satoru, did you steal the ceremonial bell?”

Gojo (hiding it under his hoodie): “…No?”

---

Act 6: Easter Sunday Surprise

Morning mass. Everyone in semi-formal robes.

Gojo walks in dressed as the Easter Bunny.

Blindfolded. With jelly beans in his pockets.

“Young souls must be fed!”

Nanami: “With peace and reflection—not peeps and betrayal.”

He hands you a basket.

It’s full of tiny chocolate figures... of himself.

Gojo: “Taste my holiness.”

You: “That sounds illegal.”

---

Final Scene: The Journey Back

The van ride home is… quiet.

Gojo is sunburned. Shoko’s wearing monk beads. Yuuji’s humming a church hymn with wrong lyrics.

Nobara: “If he plans a Holy Week sequel, I’m converting to a different anime.”

You lean on Gojo, and he actually whispers something soft:

“Thanks for putting up with my chaos. You make every season feel like a blessing.”

You blink. “Was that… sincerity?”

Gojo grins. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s heatstroke.”

[zeivivii]

“Blindfolds & Bad Ideas”

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader (GN)

Genre: Humor, Slice of Life

Setting: Somewhere between arcs—Gojo is free, and chaos is inevitable

“This is a bad idea.”

You stared blankly at the man in the obnoxiously bright blue blindfold. He was holding a mop. Upside down.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Gojo replied with the confidence of a man who’s never once faced consequences. “It’s team bonding. Like trust falls. But with cleaning supplies.”

“You locked Utahime in a supply closet for two hours last time you tried a bonding exercise.”

“She’s fine. She needed the time to reflect on her poor attitude.”

You sighed, glancing around the hallway of Tokyo Jujutsu High. Shoko had conveniently vanished the second Gojo suggested a “fun training activity,” and Nanami wasn’t even in the country—something about “self-preservation” and “Gojo being a menace.” That left you as the lone adult.

Gojo tossed you a blindfold. “Come on, Y/N. Don’t be a spoilsport.”

“What’s the game again?”

“It’s called ‘Cursed Mop Tag.’ You use reverse cursed technique to sense each other’s cursed energy while blindfolded. First one to get smacked by the mop loses.”

You blinked. “That’s not how blindfold training works.”

“It is now,” he said, already spinning the mop like a weapon. “I call dibs on the janitor’s office as home base.”

You reluctantly put on the blindfold. “If I break my nose again, I’m sending you the hospital bill.”

“Joke’s on you. I am the hospital bill.”

---

Fifteen Minutes Later…

You’re crouched behind a vending machine, holding your breath. Somewhere in the courtyard, Gojo is laughing. Maniacally.

“Hehehe… I know you’re nearby, Y/N. I can feel your cursed energy trembling in fear.”

“No,” you whisper, “that’s the soda machine. It’s haunted.”

Gojo charges in your general direction, trips over a traffic cone (which shouldn’t be there), and lands face-first into a bush.

You peel off the blindfold. “Are you okay?”

He rises from the shrubbery like a cursed spirit with a leaf in his hair. “Did you see that roll? That was stealth. Ninjas would be proud.”

“You screamed ‘YAAA!’ and then fell over.”

He smirks. “Strategic distraction.”

Just then, Yuuji and Megumi walk by. Yuuji waves. “Hey Y/N-sensei! Is Gojo-sensei doing another weird training thing?”

Megumi doesn’t even stop. “Don’t get involved. Trust me.”

Gojo points his mop at them. “Careful, or you’re next in mop tag!”

Megumi flips him off without turning around.

Yuuji snorts. “I’ll grab popcorn.”

---

One Hour Later…

You, Gojo, and a now-convinced Yuuji are sitting on the ground, covered in mop water, half-eaten pocky, and existential regret.

“Okay, that was fun,” you admit, nursing a bump on your head.

Gojo grins, somehow completely dry. “Told ya. I’m a genius.”

The janitor walks by. Stops. Stares.

Then sighs. “Why is my mop in a tree?”

Gojo puts an arm around your shoulder and whispers, “Run.”

[zeivivii]

Among Us Mayhem

Sequel to: Survival Camp Showdown

Fandom: Kaiju No. 8

Genre: Humor, Online Gaming Chaos, Impostor Nonsense

Characters:

- 3rd Division: Soshiro Hoshina, Kiyohime Akane (OC), Kafka Hibino, Reno Ichikawa

- 1st Division: Gen Narumi, Rin Shinonome, Eiji Hasegawa

- Guest Players: Kikoru Shinomiya, Mina Ashiro (secret spectator)

Setting: One rainy rest day at HQ—nothing but snacks, internet, and betrayal.

ACT 1 – BOREDOM BREEDS CHAOS

Kafka slumped over the couch, dramatically sighing for the sixth time in five minutes.

“I wish we had a mission. Or something fun.”

Hoshina walked in with chips and a mischievous glint. “Ever heard of Among Us?”

Akane raised an eyebrow. “You mean the game where you gaslight your friends and stab them in the back?”

Hoshina grinned. “Exactly.”

---

ACT 2 – THE LOBBY OF LIES

Player List:

- Red: “SwordDaddy” (Hoshina)

- Blue: “IceQueen” (Akane)

- Lime: “ChimeraChaos” (Kafka)

- Yellow: “DroneBoy” (Reno)

- White: “GenZ” (Narumi)

- Cyan: “NotebookSlayer” (Hasegawa)

- Pink: “PleaseNoMud” (Shinonome)

- Orange: “ShinoPrincess” (Kikoru)

Round 1 – Immediate Betrayal

Narumi calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds in.

“Kafka was acting sus. Vibe’s all wrong.”

Kafka: “I was still fixing my keybindings!”

Hoshina: “That sounds like something an impostor would say.”

Kafka gets voted out. He wasn’t the impostor.

Akane: “This is going to be delicious.”

---

Round 2 – Double Kill Disaster

Lights go out.

Reno walks into Electrical. Sees two bodies.

Screams IRL.

Meeting is called.

Reno: “Okay, hear me out. Hoshina was leaving the scene, whistling his sword theme music!”

Hoshina: “Maybe I was humming. Suspicion is subjective.”

Akane, sipping tea: “Vote him.”

Hoshina gets ejected. He was the impostor.

He salutes on the way out.

---

Round 3 – Akane Ascends

Akane: perfect wires, smooth card swipe, muting herself on Discord for “immersion.”

Meanwhile, players drop one by one.

Final three: Akane, Narumi, and Shinonome.

Shinonome: “I’ve tracked movements. Narumi was with me. IceQueen was alone with Hasegawa when he died.”

Narumi: “I mean... she does have that face.”

Akane: “You wish you could pull off the perfect solo kill + vent combo.”

Shinonome hesitates.

Narumi: “Let’s just vote Akane—”

Akane: “I made cookies for winners.”

Shinonome: “Voting Narumi.”

Victory screen: Impostor wins – IceQueen

Akane (calmly): “I love this game.”

---

ACT 3 – THE DESCENT INTO MADNESS

Kafka: “Can we PLEASE stop voting me out on vibe alone?!”

Kikoru: “Only if you stop naming yourself ChimeraChaos. That’s not subtle.”

Reno: “I made a spreadsheet of everyone’s sus behavior. Color-coded by betrayal type.”

Narumi: “I started this game to kill time. Now it’s personal.”

Mina walks in, sees the chaos, and backs out slowly. “They’re bonding. I’ll come back later.”

---

BONUS ROUND – CHAOTIC MODDED MATCH

Mods enabled:

- Sheriff

- Jester

- Lovers

- Morphling

Akane is Sheriff. Accidentally shoots Reno.

Reno: “I TRUSTED YOU.”

Kafka is Jester.

Wins by getting voted out because he kept saying “I'm not sus, I'm just built different.”

Hoshina and Narumi end up as Lovers.

Lose because they argue too long about who should fake keys.

Narumi: “You were supposed to protect me!”

Hoshina: “Love is pain, sweetheart.”

---

EPILOGUE – AMONG US ADDICTS ANONYMOUS

Kikoru: “One more game?”

Kafka: “We said that five games ago.”

Reno: “I just want to do my tasks in peace.”

Akane: “The next one’s hide-and-seek.”

Hoshina: “Let’s go. Winner gets ramen. Loser washes dishes IRL.”

Narumi: “Game on.”

[zeivivii]

Survival Camp Showdown

Sequel to: Hot Springs Disaster

Fandom: Kaiju No. 8

Genre: Humor, Competition, Light Action, Found Family Chaos

Characters:

- Team Hoshina: Soshiro Hoshina, Kiyohime Akane, Kafka Hibino, Reno Ichikawa

- Team Narumi: Gen Narumi, Rin Shinonome, Eiji Hasegawa

- Guest Judges: Kikoru Shinomiya, Mina Ashiro

Setting: JGSDF Survival Training Grounds – Mt. Kurogane

---

HQ MEMO: MORALE & COORDINATION BOOSTING INITIATIVE

OBJECTIVE: Build trust. Improve communication. Encourage inter-division unity.

METHOD: Team-building camp. Friendly competition between 1st and 3rd Divisions.

REWARDS: Bragging rights. One week of chore exemption. Losers clean all Kaiju-waste containers for a month.

---

DAY ONE – THE ARRIVAL

Kafka stumbled off the truck, squinting at the wilderness. “So we’re really doing this, huh?”

Reno adjusted his gear. “Team-building. With Gen Narumi. This can only go terribly.”

Hoshina stepped out like he was on a fashion runway, towel around his neck and sword on his back. “I came here to win. And roast marshmallows.”

Akane, wearing mirrored sunglasses and sipping instant coffee: “I came here to destroy Narumi’s pride.”

---

ENTER: Team Narumi

Gen Narumi descended from his transport with theme music blaring from a portable speaker.

Shinonome followed calmly, notebook in hand.

Hasegawa was already holding mosquito repellent like a weapon.

Narumi grinned. “Yo, Team Hoshina! Ready to lose in the woods?”

Hoshina smirked. “Better question: did you bring tissues for when you cry after we beat you?”

Akane: “And for your face after I rub it in the dirt.”

---

CHALLENGE ONE: OBSTACLE COURSE OF DOOM

Designed by Mina Ashiro and Kikoru Shinomiya.

Obstacles include:

- Suspended net bridges

- Slippery mud wall climb

- A pit labeled “Definitely Not Containing Kaiju Larvae (probably)”

Hoshina vs Narumi – Mud Wall

Narumi: parkour flips over it like he’s in a first-person shooter cutscene

Hoshina: scales it with a rope, slips, lands in mud, stands up with a grin

“Y’all ever try exfoliating the soul with dirt?”

Kafka gets stuck in the net bridge. Reno helps by shoving.

Kafka: “That’s not helping!”

Reno: “It’s helping me.”

Score: Team Narumi – 10, Team Hoshina – 8

---

CHALLENGE TWO: CAMPFIRE COOK-OFF

Judged by Kikoru.

Shinonome presents beautifully grilled fish with foraged herbs.

Hasegawa contributes a stunning wild-berry dessert.

Narumi adds… prepackaged yakisoba with his face drawn on the wrapper.

Kafka tries to roast marshmallows. He sets one on fire. Then himself.

Reno panic-buckets him with river water.

Hoshina grills wild boar. It’s absurdly delicious.

Akane presents a mystery stew. Kikoru chokes. “What was in that?”

Akane shrugs. “Character development.”

Score: Tied – 18:18

---

CHALLENGE THREE: CAPTURE THE FLAG – NIGHT RAID EDITION

Rules: No transformations. No blade contact. Stealth, strategy, and traps allowed.

Narumi: “This is my game.”

Hoshina: “Oh, buddy, you just activated my hillbilly instincts.”

Highlights:

- Kafka gets stuck in a bush. Again.

- Reno uses his drone to blast Narumi’s eardrums with embarrassing audio clips from the hot springs.

- Akane leads a distraction op, drops fake Kaiju tracks, lures Shinonome into a pit of glitter.

- Hoshina sneaks into enemy base disguised in camouflage made of leaves and squirrel fur.

- He steals the flag while humming his sword theme song.

Final Score: Team Hoshina – 29, Team Narumi – 27

---

DAY THREE – DECLARATION CEREMONY

Mina: “Team Hoshina wins.”

Narumi: “This is sabotage.”

Akane: “No, this is karma.”

Kafka: “I still smell like marshmallows.”

Reno: “And failure.”

Hoshina: “Good game, Narumi. We’ll frame the flag next to your dignity.”

Narumi flips him off while Hasegawa apologizes with snacks.

---

POST-CAMP

Narumi sulks on the bus. “Next time, we bring Kaiju-proof tents. And earplugs.”

Hoshina texts a photo of him holding the flag and a bag of s’mores. Caption: Victory tastes like teamwork and burnt sugar.

[zeivivii]

Hot Springs Disaster

Fandom: Kaiju No. 8

Sequel to: High School Hell

Genre: Humor, Mild Fanservice, Utter Chaos

Characters: Soshiro Hoshina, Kiyohime Akane, Kafka Hibino, Reno Ichikawa, Gen Narumi (cameo), Kikoru Shinomiya (cameo)

Setting: Yugure no Yu Hot Springs, rural outskirts of Tokyo

---

MISSION STATUS: COMPLETE

STRESS LEVELS: OFF THE CHARTS

RECOMMENDED RECOVERY: TEAM HOT SPRINGS TRIP (MANDATORY BY HQ)

“Wait. This was HQ’s idea of ‘mental recovery’?”

Kiyohime Akane stood at the front of Yugure no Yu, staring at the clearly mixed-up reservation—her name printed on a group couples booking.

Hoshina read the sign over her shoulder. “Vice-Captain Kiyohime Akane and plus one.” He smirked. “Guess that’s me.”

Akane side-eyed him. “I will push you into the hottest spring and hold you there until your katana steams.”

Kafka peeked out from behind a brochure. “Guys, look! There’s a Kaiju-shaped rock formation in the bath. They themed the spa after famous monsters!”

Reno, deadpan: “It’s literally called the Kaiju Kleanse Package. You soak next to a stone Kaiju No. 10. It’s got glowing eyes.”

Hoshina: “...Creepy. I like it.”

---

THE BATHHOUSE RULES:

1. No roughhousing.

2. No mixed bathing after 9pm.

3. No transformations.

4. No sword fights in the open-air bath.

5. Yes, this means you, Vice-Captain Hoshina.

---

BOYS' SIDE – EARLY EVENING

Kafka relaxed in the hot water, arms over the stone ledge. “Man… this is the first time I haven’t been yelled at in a week.”

Reno nodded. “Yeah, and Akane hasn’t hit you with a clipboard in at least twelve hours. You’re setting records.”

Hoshina, still fully armed in the bath: “You never know when a Kaiju will attack. Or when Narumi might prank me with another water balloon drone.”

Kafka: “You could’ve left the katanas behind.”

Hoshina: “Can I though?”

---

GIRLS' SIDE – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Akane sank into the water, finally relaxed.

Kikoru: “So… Hoshina, huh?”

Akane’s eye twitched. “What about him?”

Kikoru smirked. “Nothing. Just wondering how long before someone admits they like dangerous idiots who name their sword moves.”

Akane groaned. “I don’t like him. He’s a walking training montage with too much hair gel.”

Kikoru: “Uh huh. And you chose him as your ‘plus one’?”

“Because Kafka would’ve melted in the sauna, and Reno is one traumatized pun away from becoming a vigilante.”

A crash echoed through the wall.

---

MIXED-BATH EMERGENCY – 8:59PM

A minor Kaiju erupted from a hot spring pipe like a demonic faucet spirit.

Shrieking, steaming, and flinging towels, it caused chaos.

Kafka: "OH COME ON!"

Reno: "I knew the eyes on that statue were too real!"

Hoshina: "Sword Style: Bathhouse Buster!"

Akane (appearing midair): "NO SWORD FIGHTS IN THE OPEN-AIR BATH!"

She proceeded to roundhouse kick the Kaiju into a nearby mineral pool.

It exploded in a puff of lavender-scented steam.

Silence.

A beat.

Then Kikoru clapped slowly from the sidelines in a yukata. “Romantic.”

---

POST-BATTLE CLEANUP – NIGHT

They all sat in yukatas under paper lanterns, sipping juice and looking mildly traumatized.

Kafka: “So… next recovery trip, maybe just a normal hotel?”

Reno: “One without cursed plumbing.”

Hoshina: “Nah. This was fun. I give it a solid 8 out of 10. Lost one sword to the mineral water though.”

Akane: “You tried to name the Kaiju‘Steam Bun.’ I give it a 2.”

Narumi called in through video chat, holding a popsicle.

“So… heard you lovebirds crashed a spa. Is it too late to RSVP?”

Akane: *hangs up immediately*

Hoshina: *already texting him bath selfies*

[zeivivii]

Vice-Captain Babysitting: High School Hell

Sequel to: A Vice-Captains' Misadventure

Fandom: Kaiju No. 8

Genre: Humor, Disguise Mission, Slice-of-Life Chaos

Characters: Soshiro Hoshina, Kiyohime Akane, Kafka Hibino, Reno Ichikawa, Gen Narumi (cameo), Kikoru Shinomiya (cameo)

Setting: Undercover mission at Shibasaki High School

---

MISSION BRIEFING – 3RD & 2ND DIVISION JOINT TASK

Objective: Protect Kafka Hibino and Reno Ichikawa during a Kaiju surveillance sting posing as “exchange students” at Shibasaki High School. Maintain cover at all costs. Try not to traumatize the student body.

---

DAY ONE – SHIBASAKI HIGH SCHOOL

Vice-Captain Kiyohime Akane stood in the teacher’s lounge, arms crossed, fake glasses perched on her nose, absolutely seething. “I was promised a high-stakes Kaiju sting. Not a math class full of hormonal teenagers and suspicious cafeteria curry.”

“Hey now,” Hoshina said cheerfully, now sporting a high school uniform two sizes too small and a band-aid on his cheek for aesthetic. “Look at me. I blend in perfectly.”

“You are thirty,” Akane deadpanned.

“And still pass for a delinqu—er, youthful rogue.” He winked at a passing student, who immediately fainted.

Kafka and Reno entered, both in full student disguise. Kafka grinned sheepishly. “Hey, uh, we might’ve already made things complicated.”

Akane turned slowly. “How?”

Reno pointed to the school bulletin board.

NEW STUDENT POLL: HOTTEST TRANSFER STUDENT – HOSHINA-SENPAI #1 WITH 98% VOTES

RUNNER-UP: "THE COOL GLASSES LADY WHO THREW A DESK AT A PERVERT"

“...That’s you,” Reno added helpfully.

Akane cracked her knuckles. “I’m burning this school down.”

---

LUNCHTIME – CHAOS MODE ACTIVATED

Kafka had accidentally signed them up for the “Talent Show Club” while trying to dodge a nosy student council president. Now Hoshina was doing a sword kata on stage with wooden brooms, Reno was beatboxing behind him, and Akane was judging the event with all the enthusiasm of a tired demon.

“Kafka’s next,” Reno whispered.

Kafka tripped, fell, and knocked over the entire stage curtain.

“Perfect,” Akane muttered. “Maybe we’ll get expelled and end this nightmare early.”

But instead, the students roared in applause.

“SLAPSTICK KING!” someone shouted.

Kafka grinned through the pain. “I think I just became prom king.”

---

LATER THAT NIGHT – REAL KAJU THREAT APPEARS

While sneaking out to investigate Kaiju signals in the school’s basement, the team found a mutant crawling out of a forgotten underground facility—a weird spider-like thing fused with...a vending machine?

Hoshina drew his blade. “You ever fought a Kaiju that spits cola?”

“No,” Akane replied. “But if it explodes sugar all over my coat, I swear I’m quitting.”

Kafka, mid-transformation, muttered, “Just don't destroy the vending machine with grape soda. Reno likes that one.”

“Senpai, please,” Reno whispered. “This is serious.”

Hoshina and Akane tag-teamed the Kaiju, bouncing off lockers and desks like acrobats.

“Sword Style: Lunch Detention Slash!”

“Double Period Punisher!”

When Kafka finally got a hit in, the Kaiju burst in a flood of soda, chips, and smoke.

“...It’s dead,” Kafka panted.

“Good,” Akane huffed. “Now we can go back to class and pretend none of this ever happened.”

---

EPILOGUE – MISSION SUCCESS?

They returned to HQ. Mission technically accomplished.

Kafka: Promoted for "exemplary cover maintenance."

Reno: Awarded “Most Valuable Beatboxer.”

Hoshina: Got fan mail from fifteen teenage girls.

Akane: Still trying to erase her photo from the talent show flyer that says “Hot Sensei, Cool Blades.”

Narumi passed them in the hallway and smirked.

“So… babysitting went well?”

Akane: “I will stab you.”

Hoshina: “Depends. What’s your prom king count?”

[zeivivii]

A Vice-Captains' Misadventure

"You're late."

Vice-Captain Soshiro Hoshina didn’t look up from his blade as he crouched on top of a half-destroyed Kaiju corpse, the sun casting a sharp glint off the metal.

Vice-Captain Kiyohime Akane of the 2nd Division landed beside him in a rather dramatic flare of coat and hair. “You called me in the middle of my day off. I was marathoning historical dramas. You better not say this is another overgrown slug you could've handled yourself.”

“First of all,” Hoshina stood, slinging his sword over his shoulder, “it’s not a slug. It’s more like a crab...with legs for days. Second, Narumi’s team reported traces of Kaiju No. 9 in this sector. So yeah, I called backup. You just happened to be the only one whose ringtone isn’t set to anime openings.”

Akane sighed. “That’s because I value subtlety and don’t scream ‘Main Character Energy’ everywhere I go.”

“Hey, don’t knock the classics. The Attack on Titan opening still slaps.”

A low rumble shook the broken ground beneath them. From the ruins of a collapsed building, the "crab" Kaiju emerged again—except now it had grown massive scythe-like pincers and wore a creepy humanoid face on its shell, grinning unnaturally.

“Oh, good,” Akane said dryly. “It evolved. Love that for us.”

---3 MINUTES LATER

“I told you to distract it, not insult its mother!” Hoshina shouted as the Kaiju barreled after them through an alleyway, pulverizing buildings with every step.

“I’m sorry, but it understood Japanese and took offense?!” Akane yelled back, expertly flipping onto a rooftop. “Since when do they listen to trash talk?”

“Kaiju No. 9’s types are getting weirder. One tried to join karaoke night at HQ last week.”

“No wonder Narumi looked like he’d fought a war and lost.”

The two vice-captains split, a flurry of motion and blades as Akane charged from the air, slashing at the Kaiju’s carapace with her dual sabers, while Hoshina performed his signature draw-and-slash technique from below.

“Sword Style: Third Form—Raven Cut!” Hoshina sliced through one of the scythes, sending black ichor flying.

“Fancy. I call mine—Eat Steel, Crustacean!” Akane yelled, slamming a high-pressure mine into the Kaiju’s shell and detonating it midair.

A pause.

“That’s not a real name, is it?” Hoshina said.

“No, but it felt right.”

---POST-BATTLE

The Kaiju lay twitching, now headless and gloriously defeated. Both vice-captains sat on the edge of a ruined overpass, their uniforms torn, faces smeared with soot and satisfaction.

“...So what’s your kill count today?” Akane asked.

“Don’t know. But I’m ahead of Commander Narumi again.” Hoshina smirked.

Akane leaned back. “He’s gonna throw a tantrum.”

“Let him. It’s funnier when he sulks in gamer mode.”

As if summoned by sheer pettiness, Gen Narumi’s voice crackled through the comms. “Hey, third division hick and second division drama queen. You left crab guts all over my perimeter.”

Akane grinned. “You’re welcome.”

“Next time, let the Kaiju step on Hoshina, just once. For morale."

Hoshina snorted. “Try it. See who ends up with crab salad for a visor.”

Akane raised her fist. “To dysfunctional vice-captains and Kaiju crab bakes.”

Hoshina clinked his sword hilt against her knuckles. “Cheers.”

---

END.