zephiris

[zephiris]

And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive EightYear Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.

[zephiris]

Remember it is a competition and you are here to win, you WILL be the faggiest person on the train

[zephiris]

I just wanna feel soft fingers and sharp nails below my chin, drawing my attention up to a beautiful fem and then watch as they lean in, meanwhile my vision thins; fireworks ignite within.

My hair tangling around their touch, I’m totally undone. They pull away, my heart aches as I know I must wait. I feel a soft exhale of warmth before they pull me in again, my brain oozing away as I know I’m theirs for the rest of today. I’m so so lucky to have such a lovely fae~

[zephiris]

The three genders: masc, fem, and chaos

[zephiris]

s is for slug

[zephiris]

made this tiny edit to this work by @​mxsparks@oulipo.social, so now it's a very convoluted dual language pun

guess this is an art blog now /j

[zephiris]

Rule

[zephiris]

[zephiris]

a wall of motherboards ,,,, she's so beautiful

[zephiris]

Odious Cryptobro Coworker is… slowly turning into a... not friend. Patient? I think he comes to me for a weird kind of therapy. Idk.

He’s the most transparently terrible man, a layer of empty-eyed greed and rightwing manosphere bullshit covering a surprisingly tormented sense of self entirely built on personal exceptionalism and continuous achievement, stable only as long as the numbers go up, creating a rift of disconnection with others and an unresolvable sense of discontent with himself. Smells of high-functioning autism tbh.

He’s trying to date to replace a 12 year relationship, but I genuinely think he may just be gay or asexual, and in profound denial. I don’t know.

When we hang out we discuss his various dates, and while he has a Girlfriend-Shaped Hole(TM), he (unsurprisingly) doesn’t seem to like women very much. He’s wealthy and conventionally attractive and has a taste for the BPD type (blonde, hot, and emotionally unstable), yet also, most of his dating attempts sort of die out around the 3rd date, when the women start expecting some kind of physical sign of affection and he’s just… not into that. He heavily prefers women who are cruel, ruthless, and unavailable for some reason.

He likes that I call him on his bullshit; sometimes I suspect he may be getting some kind of humiliation kink met.

Anyway, I’ve been having weekly restaurant dates with him for a while now. It feels weird. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? I always have a strangely excellent time but also expect every moment for this thing to turn sour.

(My husband and QPP know about him; QPP has started calling him my “little project”, husband calls him The Horrible Mr. Crypto, like he’s a supervillain.)

[zephiris]

[zephiris]

Mom, I know what I'll say at your funeral.

I'll tell them three good memories of you. One of you showing me moonflowers.

One of you accidentally admitting to smoking pot in college, blushing and running away. Denying it from then on.

My earliest memory, your finger running over the words of books as you read them.

Then I'll tell them how you put the rabbits outside in their hutch when I could see they were terrified of being in the hot open air. How I begged you not to again and again. Finding their stiff, still bodies when I came home. How you left them alone out there and their hearts couldn't take it.

I wonder what the one who died last thought. I wonder how many hours they were alone, baking, terrified.

I'll tell them about how I found two kittens next to an empty cloth sack in the river. How I never knew if the others had run or just washed away.

I cleaned them and fed them, they were old enough to eat. Old enough to fight and survive. Still so wobbly, so covered in dirt and fleas and their own shit. I gently washed both of them, pet them, showed them kindness.

You called every friend you had to get someone to take them. Eventually they left to be farm cats. I could have run and hid with them, stolen them food- you had already started calling me fat and hiding any food it was easy for a child to make themselves. I knew the taste of baking ingredients, I knew how to steal better. I could have stolen for them. I could have run and kept them. They could have been mine.

But I didn't even understand that I could have just run yet. And I realized how much better they would have it somewhere else, even if it was just as farm cats. I sent them away to live a better life than I could in that house.

I once saw my babysitter being beaten by her father, I was only 12 and she went away to college the next year. I didn't trust my mom enough to tell her, and who else was there to tell? I learned to hide and avoid problems from my Dad, and she was his anchor. Wrapped right around his neck.

If you're young and reading this, just survive. Just get away. College is one way, don't let them talk you into taking extra classes - then move to another county and never pay it back. It'll be cheaper.

Or just run. Find a group that will help you through the Internet and go.

Or sign up to work on a cargo ship the second you turn 18.

Just don't stay there. Don't be like those rabbits dying on the porch, trapped. You're a human. You can open the cage and run. Just keep going one direction. Be kind when you can, but be free first

[zephiris]

You, a human, can also do this! It’s surprisingly comfortable. Try it at your local treebranch today!

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

[zephiris]

I’m convinced pickles are a gift from the gods.

[zephiris]

Fuck it. Y'all deserve to know how hot I am. Ren faire fit pics

[zephiris]

I've begun to experience something really weird.

When I first questioned my gender, one of the biggest things that led to my certainty that I was non-binary, and not a man, is that I couldn't stand the idea of being intimidating to anybody, as I've always had trouble making friends and want to come across as approachable and kind as possible.

After a while, I kinda had it down. After I made the decision that I didn't want testosterone in my body anymore, and started on estrogen, it got even easier as it's much easier to connect with other women when you are girlbrained. Now that I'm 7 months in and actually appear feminine (maybe even pretty on a good day), I've found that most people really pick up the harmless critter vibe right away.

But lately when somebody is attracted to me, they instead get this like, I don't know, like angelic vibe from me instead?? And to be clear, this is by no means a brag, this has been a problem. Like every girl I talk to on dating apps tells me she wants to fuck my brains out but when I actually ask her to do so she gets all nervous and runs away with her tail between her legs.

Like, I've come full circle??? I'm now back to being intimidating but not because I'm manly but because I'm too pretty??? Man this is so fucked up Alexa play your woman by white town

[zephiris]

I love how slightly crazier makeup always makes me feel more androgynous! It also has the added bonus of impressing the queers while simultaneously being unappealing to straight men :D