zoetic11 - Tumblr blog

[zoetic11]

Tumblr is a negative black hole sucking the life out of me and I am trying to be more positive.

Great things have happened recently and I want this happiness to last and not be a temporary thing.

I’m deleting this app and I’m okay

Goodbye everyone! :)

[zoetic11]

I really hate being trans.

I hate the dysphoria, I hate the misgendering, I hate not being seen as a cis girl and people instantly knowing, I hate having to pay for my hrt every month, I hate that I can’t afford electrolysis or surgeries, I hate my voice, I hate my shoulders, I hate my height, I hate the size of everything, i hate being a topic of discussion all the time.

I hate myself.

I don’t hate other trans people I just hate having to deal with shit most people never even have to think about.

[zoetic11]

I really want some fucking drugs.

Sucks being sober and broke.

[zoetic11]

I just cut for the first time in four months.

I feel like such a failure.

[zoetic11]

i kinda just wanna do a lot of drugs and die numb

[zoetic11]

I could really use a wish right now

[zoetic11]

Is there a word to describe “i’m trying my absolute fucking hardest and it’s not good enough”

[zoetic11]

my life is a joke and i’m not laughing anymore

[zoetic11]

Oml my principal just went up to me and asked me why I wasn’t eating lunch and I said I don’t like the school lunch and that I usually eat at home and he said “okay just don’t do the anorexia” and I was literally looking at thinspo while talking to him

I don’t know you shouldnt “do the anorexia.”

[zoetic11]

I haven’t cut in about four months and haven’t had a cig in about three weeks and I feel like soon I’m going to relapse on one or both.

[zoetic11]

Food is just calories. I can’t remember last time I ate for genuine enjoyment. I binge, I get hungry, but eating always feels like a chore and something I feel guilty for doing immediately after. I can go on about my favourite foods but are they really my favourite? I’ve had disordered eating habits long before I developed I full blown ED and it’s hard to say what’s really me. Everything is numbers and what I can get away with. I don’t think people realize how all consuming this fucking disorder is.

[zoetic11]

[zoetic11]

I am sorry for the content I reblog sometimes. Content that might make me seem pro. I don’t really think when I scroll through the thinspo tag and reblog things. I don’t think about who is going to see them and I know that I should do that more but this is an outlet for me. I am genuinely sorry if I ever triggered you with the content I post on here and I hope you get better soon because you deserve to feel better and none of the mean things were directed towards you. You are amazing, beautiful and you deserve to eat.

[zoetic11]

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!

[zoetic11]

toxic mothers are wild they'll really be like "I never said that" like ma'am yes you did cause it's been ingrained in my head since I was twelve

[zoetic11]

9pts

going against stereotypes: ED edition

give yourself a point for each:

- you’re not a girl

- you’re over 18

- you don’t smoke

- you don’t like energy drinks

- you’re not white

- you’re neurodivergent

- you’re not upper-middle class

- you’ve never been hospitalised

- you’re queer

- your BMI is still considered in “the healthy range” or above

- you have a disability and/or chronic illness

- “the media” is not the reason you have an ED

- only a couple people (or nobody) you know in-person knows about your ED

- you hate attention

- you hate social media

- you have something other than “the two main ones”

let’s see how many of us are absolutely nothing like the way we’re depicted in a lot of media and online spaces

caveat: it’s okay if you do fit into the stereotype, that doesn’t make you any more or less valid. I just wanted to point out that many of us don’t fit into it!

[zoetic11]

🧊🍨

If you know you know

I don't think we can 'lmao' our way out of this one, girls.