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Sometimes I like to just stop moving completely and stare at what's around me. Focus in on one little item or a person. Or the sky above. Then imagine a story around it.

Think of everything I see. The nuances, each sense, and the aura. Then imagine a story of that moment about what it would be like to live it all, experience it all. In that moment, that is when my heart stills or breaks.

That is when I feel clarity.

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Whenever I ask myself or others AITA, once it's confirmed not a me problem, the words "YOU ARE NOT THE ASSHOLE!" in a Jerry springer voice echo in my head. Loudly.

And that, my friends, might actually make me the asshole. 🙃

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Lucifer's Angel- C1 The Girl With Wings (Part 2 of 2)

           A gentle nod yes in Lucifer’s direction was all that he needed. He noticed the miniscule movement and light suddenly streamed in on me. It burned my eyes like flames as each ray shined into them. I reactively scrunched my eyes shut as tight as I could. After a few short moments of deep breaths and am attempt to shake off the light with little success, my eyes finally adjusted to the brightness. In as slow a fashion as possible, I opened them to see Lucifer.

            Shimmering light golden blonde hair which flowed long and straight in the back, while in front slightly curled around his face at a more medium to short length. The way it was layered softened the sharp edges of his face and cheekbones. His eyes glistened a pale blue so soft it almost looked creamy white at some angles. Lucifer looked in his late twenties with deep jagged features. He had a sharp angled nose, thick eyebrows, high cheekbones, a strong but not imposing chin, and a diamond face. I thought of sharp crystal as he stared at me. He possessed a gaze which could obliterate solid granite. His frame was thin yet bulky, with an extremely tall body which probably had obliterated granite before. Even if his name and person did not appear gentle or kind, Lucifer’s mannerisms showed such.

            Every slight movement, every breath, was graceful and light as down. I felt as if I could not move away the more I stared at him. I was enchanted. So delicate were his mannerisms that the light itself around him did not glisten like elsewhere, it glowed. It glowed in such a way that it appeared as if he was the source of the light instead of merely the receiver.

           Lucifer wore a tailored deep black cotton twill suit with aged basic silver buttons and unique deep brown wide cuffs with what looked to be a tiger sleeping peacefully engraved into the left cuff. His suit top portrayed the look of a loosely fit unbuttoned tuxedo while his dark silver button up undershirt fitted very close to his body. The deep black cotton twill pants fit comfortably and consisted of thick grey stitching that matched well with the button up and his polished black shoes.

           He smiled at me. A serious and gentle smile all mixed into one. He brought his hands up and clamped them together. Then with a force so strong the air screeched, he whipped his hands out and apart until they could be no further separated. In that moment a wind picked me up. The mid right side of my chest ripped open. Blood flowed out from all directions. It left the place where my beating heart should have been, completely exposed.  Nothing was there beyond the arteries and veins that would have connected to it. My breath roughened as my eyes widened from the sight. I hurt beyond belief. It was like I was having my insides burned all over again. Faintness followed as more and more blood left. Was I going to die again? Lucifer stepped towards my direction until he was next to me, then touched the crook of my neck and wiped off some of the blood. It all started to get warm in the empty space of my chest.             He moved his finger which touched my neck to my nose and tapped the very tip of it. As he did this, I saw another object come towards me. It was a teddy bear, with downy fur and large dark gray beady eyes. The nose was a button triangle shape with round indents near the edges. It glowed a sharp cream white so beautifully that as I gazed upon it I could not help but break out into an uncontrollable smile.  

           It floated into the space where my heart should have been and then, everything began to burn. A glow blazed so intense that even with my eyes closed and my hands covered over them, I still saw the sharp white shine through. I heard a loud crack, then a high pitch screech, and then felt a light warm burning heat near my upper back. The brightness settled down to the point that when I began to open my eyes again I could only faintly see it around my fingers and arms, like an aura.

           My shoulder blades tingled and so I turned my head to my back side to look at the cause. As I did so I became surrounded by jet black wings. They were the exact same pigment as my hair with feathers like a crow’s. Each wing was the size of a large horse when fully extended, together they could overshadow a small shack.

            All of a sudden, a strong wind blew and forced my voice out. Each sound and vocal expression permanently left in the same painful manner that fully grown in teeth do. The wind blew stronger and stronger. The whooshing and whipping of it formed what felt like a tornado, and I, was in the eye of it. It continued until I was thrown out of the light.

           I started falling, then flying.

Hope you guys enjoyed. I've got the book on google books and kobo for 99 cents. Regardless if you want I can post a few more chapters on tumblr because why not. :) Here is the link to the book through google (since everyone uses that I think?): Google Book Link of Lucifer's Angel Click Here ^^

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Lucifer's Angel- C1 The Girl With Wings (Part 1 of 2)

“Murderer!” It had taken no more than a few seconds to tie me up to the stake.             “Monster!” Their eyes, they glared. They were everywhere.             “Burn!” I looked up to the lighted sky and closed my eyes.             I felt the flames burn up my skin. My dues were up; I had paid for my sin. Please, whoever you are. Let me learn from my mistakes and help others who are aiming towards the same fate. Let me stop it before it starts. Give me the opportunity to save them all.             The last of me was burning into the air I had breathed as the flames around me sparked the faintest shade of blue. It was so hot. Everywhere stung like an open wound. If I moved, it felt like ten thousand needles pricking my skin. Then all at once, everything faded to black. Pitch black emptiness more blinding than the deepest depths of the darkest ocean. It was apocalyptic how the darkness had cloaked the bright warm colors of the fire that before surrounded me.

            It has taken over and I can do nothing. The pain subsided. All that was left of me, was as hollow as a rotting willow tree.  I felt neither warmth nor chill. My throat and tongue were numb. I heard only silence. I reached out to touch something, anything, but I felt nothing.            Where am I?            “You are alone.”

      The sound of wind pierced my eardrums at such a high pitch I fell to my knees and shook without control. I attempted to stop the noise by clasping my hands over my ears. The attempt was futile. No relief.

           The wind stopped.

           All of my muscles relaxed as I tilted my head upward in appreciation. Too weak to stand, I stayed there with my hands rested on my knees. It was odd how calm I became in this moment. Everything seemed like a roller coaster since the flames had consumed me. All I need is balance.

           The calm voice spoke again, “My dearest Adilene, you are in hell.” The voice was velvety smooth like a rose petal. It was a light sound, similar to the echo of soft singing. He sounded like the Cheshire cat of Alice in Wonderland, entertaining me with an ever dangerous riddle. I am so confused, maybe this was a riddle?             Time passed in silence. Too much time. Angst and fear erupted within me. Had the voice disappeared? What if I just imagined it? Did the voice even exist to begin with? What about me, if the voice did not exist, maybe neither did I? Could I have imagined my own existence? Have I gone crazy now too? This cannot be! I was on the verge of mentally losing myself until he had spoken.

           The Cheshire cat voice stated, “Hell is this way, custom tailored to strike you in the exact way you are tortured most. Hell is a place for the dead to wallow in fear as they had always done alive, like yourself. Or to consume them as they have done others, like those dear to you.” Who was this voice? It made no sense. I heard it hum a tune now. A hand grasped my shoulder with a grip that was similar to the one a parent would have given to a child who has done something that they did not yet understand was wrong. A grip, which only lead to shame and regret for the recipient. I flinched. As the reality that my previous unanswered questions may soon be answered my body overcame with a nervous tension. What if I was given an answer I did not wish to hear?

          The voice which was now behind me, spoke again, “I am Lucifer my dear. You may not have heard of me, due to your lack of concern and desire for reading anything beyond what is forced in front of your tiny pupils. You do exist; otherwise you would not have the ability to even see the darkness which conveys you.”  Lucifer, an odd name for a man. He can hear my thoughts?             “Yes I can.”              As soon as he finished his sentence, this huge rush of pain overwhelmed me. It felt as if something was being ripped out of me. The pain was so intense I closed my eyes and cried out with a banshee’s scream while I wished with all my might for it to stop hurting. Then, with a suddenness which can only be described as “quick”, the pain ceased almost entirely. I opened my eyes and paused, in shock. Something… did come out of me.             It glowed bright light gray and dark shining black. It sparkled a little bit on the gray; while the black only seemed to have had a glazed appearance. Even with how it glowed, it radiated no light beyond itself. As a result I could not have seen beyond it, or tell if it was being held up by Lucifer, or if it floated on its own accord. It just was there, in all the nothingness. The pain remained in my chest. I felt as if someone had cut me open and was scraping at my insides. It seemed to be the only pain which did not dissipate and continued to slowly worsen as every moment passed. Yet, I looked onward at this mystical item. It was then I realized this glowing item was an object I was quite familiar with.

            It was a pocket watch.             This one was open and instead of a chain bound to it, there was a strap made of simple fabric. The specific fabric was indeterminable, but I guessed it to be a silk of some sort. It was the shining dark black and the watch itself was of the sparkling light gray color. I noticed the small hand on the watch was broken, snapped in half, yet still it ticked ever so slow.             Before I could question, Lucifer answered, “This is your life; it is like a watch. Meant to last long but, because of a small mistake you made, time went by much too fast. What was once a minute turned to a day and those days passed by ever so fast. The result ended your life. I have heard your prayer and I have decided to let it come true. If you give me something in return.”

            The pain dissipated; I saw red, much dark red as it poured down my shoulder. I still felt the hand, which I now also saw. It tinted a glowing bright red. What does he want? Is he going to hurt me? Torture me? Lucifer shushed my thoughts as he began to explain what he desired.             “By something; I mean your voice.”

            Like the switch of a light, in a flash my throat began to feel cold like ice. Then even quicker it turned numb. Soon the numbness covered my entire neck and half of my mouth. My mind flooded with the sound of rushing thoughts as they filled my head. So many memories. The blonde hair as it flowed with the wind, the laughter, and the words… The heat. No one listened, no one believed. No one. My thoughts traveled back to the moment at hand. My voice? I could laugh at the idea, the theory of such a thing being of any use to me. I had no need for a voice. Mine was never heard, is never heard, and never will be.             So, I agreed.

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Anything written in spite will always be better than that written in self-righteousness.

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Following up on my last post and talking about pet peeves, if one of your romance characters is 5' and your other is 6', they will be constantly straining their head to look up. I promise it loses it's sexy aspect within a few hours and the shorter will bitch about the height difference on the reg.

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I said it on bluesky-I'm gonna say it here because some people need to hear this.

Dark romance writers, if you have the classic scene where the character instantly knows a bed is king size then book throwing and stabbing will ensue. I hope not just by me. 🔪

I worked in the industry for years; I promise you can't tell unless you've already been told. 🙃

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Writing Prompt D01:

Humans can choose after college to be able to have the ability to shift into a specific creature of their choice. The options are greater, the higher your GPA. Afterward they are paired with another random shifter based on the time of day and season they were born in.

Under a dare from your friends, you, a 4.0 GPA student, choose to pull a paper with an animal name out of a hat instead.

You get pigeon.

Your pair, on the other hand, chooses something not so gentle.

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Readers & Writers - Post the back page blurb of your novel or a novel you've read (no pics pls) for Werewolf Romance:

(I'm going to do a couple of these, just to give readers and writers a way to showcase a specific genre in the comments so people can check out books they like in the applicable genre without searching manually.

Pictures I think can skew interest in possibly a really good book so seriously no pictures. I will delete your comment if you do)

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Just a thought, maybe it's my obsession with octopi. But what if, maybe, there was a dark romance with a kraken that can turn human?

Like pulled to the depths of the ocean only to find Mr.WaterMonster ain't so bad. Teach him the life of land. Of course keep him from eating people, but I digress. 🦑

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The suddenly discover your mate trope, but without the whole immediate love feeling. Let it build slow and natural, or maybe not at all. Does mate really need to mean of the heart?

girl who is frantically googling how to take care of a wolf because last night when the werewolf showed up on her porch it looked sad so she tossed it a sausage

but now it's back and it won't leave. she's tried everything including physically shoving it but it was too heavy to move and it whined and gave her puppy eyes and licked her hand sadly and now she can't get rid of it but she has no fucking idea how to take care of a werewolf and the internet is not helping her

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A relationship where moments that incur natural jealousy is accepted, but displayed in a healthy way.

a relationship where the flirting never stops

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Why an octopus for my background even though it has nothing to do with dark romance (#mylife) - because octopi rock.😎

Everyone loves a good sea creature.

SideNote: I'm hella new here so I have no idea what I'm doing. Please help. 😶‍🌫️