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[zungcreates]

Me and the Fragrant Harbour

2018 was one of the most pivotal years of my life. I started writing another chapter of my life's non fictional saga, entwined with romantic poetry and mildly dramatic plot twists that appeared on rare occasions. I moved to Hong Kong, one of my favourite cities of all time. It’s a bold statement, considering I have only seen a micro-fraction of this world’s entirety.

Hong Kong is a lot of things – thrilling, entitled, enriching, careless, vigorous, impatient... but mundane is not one of them. We have developed a complicated, yet fulfilling relationship that leaves me sleepless at times but always curious. The truth is, it is capable of making me fall in love with it over and over again. It’s the way the high rise buildings silently greet you with an imaginary nod every morning; it’s the almost instant accessibility to an oasis of unexplored greenery and suspicious tiny creatures up in the hills that are supposedly harmless (mind you, it is still a nice getaway from geckos, the fearful and totally uninvited home visitors that I will probably never come to peaceful terms with); it’s the liberating anonymity that allows you the freedom to be whatever you want to be, because nobody cares. You get amused by the different names of the streets where you may get scolded by the elderly for assuming they don't know any English. Summers make you crave dipping into the ocean while winters leave you confused, as you just can't decide whether you're cold or hot; the fact that you can see a wide range of outfits from shorts and tank tops (mostly modelled by expats) to chunky padded jackets with a fancy scarf (proudly worn by locals) isn't helping either. But I can make up my mind about it all at four in the morning while walking back home on my own without drifting into paranoia or fear. It's revolutionary for such a scaredy-cat as I am.

Hong Kong has some downsides, too. Long gone are the days of complete silence and solitude. Construction has become the orchestra playing in the background with determination and minimal subtlety. And if I were to choose one track that would become my theme song while living here (especially applicable during the summer), it would be Travis’ Why Does It Always Rain On Me. It is not only the weather contributing to this – it's all the liquids dripping from the infamous air conditioners with whose content I’d rather stay unfamiliar. My patience is being constantly challenged while walking on the streets – it seems that people have simply lost their notion of walking in a straight line. I am learning to zig-zag through the obstacles that life brings me, figuratively and quite literally. My physical body has been challenging me in return for my decision to drag it all across the globe to live in a completely new environment, different from my usual habitat till then in every aspect possible. It has rewarded me with an intolerance to mangoes which is a tear jerker as it’s always been my number one fruit. While still coping and dealing with all kinds of issues, I’m certain that they would surface no matter where I would end up because, thankfully, humans have such a knack for finding new problems.

I love this city for many reasons that people who decide to come for a year and find themselves still here twenty-five years later do. On better days I embrace the humidity, the odd habit of putting sausages into rice dishes, and people’s obsession with constantly chasing after something. On weaker days I have potato crisps for dinner, complain about the ridiculousness of queuing for milk teas, and avoid my conscience by watering it down with an unappetising beer with the folks on the rooftop. The creeping pollution is forgiven, for Hong Kong's night sky often sparkles with clearly evident stars and airplanes.

I am still the same, yet somehow also different, compared to myself around this time a year ago. I have learned a lot about myself through being completely open, curious and loving, accepting loss, and taking big leaps of faith.

A year ago, it took me three hours to finish a drink. Today I have managed to reduce it to two hours.

A year ago, I loved, I lost love, and I learned to cope with the intensity and charms of such a journey. It shows to what extent one's willing to go for somebody that one cares about. Today I know that the way you love says more about you than its recipient. So I tell myself, pick wisely, but love unconditionally and with grace. Always keep your heart open – it will lead you to the best journeys of your life.

A year ago, I was full of hopes and enthusiasm. Today it’s closely shadowed by sarcasm and audaciousness, but the enthusiasm will always stay deeply ingrained in me.

I didn’t eat cheese or mushrooms a year ago. Today I still don’t eat cheese or mushrooms.

A year ago, I found the most attractive traits to be sensitivity, intelligence, chivalry and – shallow me – dimples. Today I place a high value on reliability, respectfulness, sense of humour and confidence (dimples are just a bonus).

A year ago, I started feeling that I am finally figuring everything out and slowly getting my sh*t together. Today I’m still ‘togethering’ it all and realising that it will be a matter of a lifetime.

A year ago, I dreamed of living in Hong Kong, one day. Today I’m writing this, sitting in my tiny flat with a view of Hong Kong's harbour on one side, and its green mountains on the other.

Leaving my comfort zone to immerse myself in unexplored waters has certainly helped me to grow and expand my horizons. I found an even deeper connection to my family, and I can't put a price on the friendships that have grown tighter in spite of the distance – as well as newly found friendships that contribute to my current, as Kundera says, Unbearable Lightness of Being.

So here's to taking more leaps of faith.

[zungcreates]

The mellow tones of indie folk because everyone deserves happiness.

[zungcreates]

my philosophy about love (& self-love)

To love means to be selfless. When you love somebody, all you want is to be with them, share everything with them from laughter to sadness. But sometimes, love also means setting someone free because that's what you both need to grow. It doesn't mean that you give up; it means that you have faith.

What's meant to be yours will find its way to you. In the meantime, you do you and be the best version of yourself that you can be proud of.

Good things come to you when you become a good thing. A message that comes from your heart, radiates from your actions and speaks volumes without having you justifying it with words.

Being able to love others deeply will come hand in hand with the genuine love you've got for someone that deserves it the most, and that is you.

At some point, you have to let go. Not because you stop caring, but because you value yourself.

But still, my heart can move mountains. As long as I give love, I will never fail in life.

[zungcreates]

Pacifica State Beach, California (November, 2017).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHNcMs8W660

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A cat city // Dubrovnik, Croatia. [August, 2017]

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My favourite summer read [August, 2017]

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This lovely lady and her cute little bookshop are my retirement goals. Paris, France. [July, 2017]

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Let my fingers touch your scars gently and carefully as if they were cautious and fragile like my heart is.

#3 this is for you [23/7/17]

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A little collection of favourite thoughts

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself. — Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Life

You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things. — Jamie Tworkowski

There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that? There is only now, and if now is only two days, then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This is how you live a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you never will get, you will have a good life. —Ernest Hemingway

People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda. — Mike McHargue 

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“Mine was the twilight and the morning. Mine was a world of rooftops and love songs.” ― Roman Payne, Rooftop Soliloquy

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Paris and its bookful soul. [July, 2017]

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like morning sunbeams tip toeing around my room, the thoughts of you embrace every inch of my sleepless mind.

this is for you #1 [21/6/17]

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People are modest. They do not rush but they are still capable of working as two. They are charming and give you honest smiles. Then we have the old, rugged buildings that the city cannot let go of. It makes you travel back in time. Hanoi, Vietnam [April 18, 2017]

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15 Favourite Feelings (22/3/17)

First sip of coffee in the morning.

Helping people.

That micro moment when you're aware that you're falling asleep at night.

Astonishment after a concert or a movie.

Finishing a writing piece/Doing the last stroke of a painting.

Laughing out loud.

Gazing into one’s eyes.

Re-living childhood memories.

Cheek strokes.

Perfectly fitted clothes.

First dip into an ocean.

Success, in any kind of form (such as baking)

A cleaned up apartment.

Making someone smile.

Daydreams.

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[zungcreates]

a love letter to a stranger (15/12/16)

Dear stranger,

There comes a point when you feel like you are ready to meet somebody.

We have always been mesmerised by the idea of love since we were little. We have either seen our parents unconditionally supporting one another or more obviously, we have seen loved up strangers holding hands and laughing like they were the only ones in the universe. How envious were we of that when we were young. I have always believed that someday, this would happen to me, too.

Wherever you are and whoever you are, I believe you are doing the best you can to do well. I’ll be happy to hear that it is such a case, but if for some reason it's not, I want you to know that it's fine, too. At the end of the day, everything is fleeting and sometimes we just have to endure the less exciting in order to make some space for the happier. Love is the same thing. It’s never easy, you shed a tear once in a while and you always have to work for it, but if it’s somebody special, it’s oh so worth it. And it's rewarding. It's rewarding to be on your way home and knowing that that special someone calls it home, too.

If we were to meet, I would ask you one question that is the foundation of all – for creating bonds with others as well as painting a life you wish to have – do you love yourself? Are you able to put yourself first? While being confident that you're already surrounded with love, I also know that you are only able to accept it if you are willing to accept yourself first. Don’t worry, I’m working on it just as you are. Too often have I been feeling completely lost, impatiently waiting for somebody to grab me out of my misery, only to realise that it is ultimately me who could save myself.

Dear stranger, the truth is that somebody out there already has a space in their heart waiting only for you to fill. We may have not met that someone just yet, we may not know about how they feel, but it comforts me that there is somebody out there, perfectly fitted for me with all his flaws and insecurities that I’ll be happy to accept; it comforts me that I am not the only one who is searching and there is someone out there that is searching for me just the same way. I believe that paths cross each other for a reason and who knows, maybe your path is destined to cross with mine?

I confess that I have been dreaming about you. Feelings keep on resonating even though your face has always been just a blur. I hope this picture will eventually crystallise and one day, I will be able to look into your eyes and tell you that I sincerely love you.

Love yourself first. And then, there comes a point when you are ready to meet somebody. Somebody that would make you bleed out words. Somebody who will be worth all the love letters.

Yours,

Z.

[zungcreates]

Now I miss those daisies you once brought me when I was too busy being in love with roses.

self-reflection 

taking out my own poems out of the dusted shelf.