avoidant-attachment-culture

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Avoidant (+ NPD?) culture is loving my partner.

They're BPD and I'm their FP, but they internalise splits more than they do external. I hate to see them split on themselves and say things they believe that just aren't true. I realise this sounds selfish but I find it so much easier to reassure someone than apologise. They also give me space when I need it, and they don't pressure me into dealing with our issues immediately (which would make me want to avoid the whole thing). I love them.

Side note: This isn't supposed to be an attack on anyone with BPD who does externally split, or is more anxiously attached. I personally just can't handle people splitting on me, or give them the responses they need.

I also have significant NPD traits/NPD (no diagnosis and am not sure so don't solidly say either way) and my friends talking badly about themselves is so :( because you're friends with *me*!!! which means you're good enough for someone like me!!!!! which means you are good!!!!

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

avoidant culture is being broken up with because you aren't getting better fast enough

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Avoidant culture is being physically incapable of emotional sincerity. Like sorry man, there needs to be at least 5 sex jokes and a layer of satire in this feelings conversation before I can even get the damn words out.

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

I don’t know if anyone else experienced something like this before, but we weren’t doing anything remotely sexual but somehow managed to catch on I had low libido? I’m still a little confused because I wonder how they came to that conclusion in the first place if we were just friends at the time. They phrased that fact like something was wrong with me. I’m still wondering if it is an actual issue just because of that statement. I would assume that low libido would be common in avoidant attachment?

I think a lot of people feel entitled to eachothers time, attention, energy, attachment etc. and sex is included in that. I dont see it as being outrageous that there could be a correlation between avoidant attachment and low interest in sex, it would make sense but I haven't seen any data or studies on it.

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

(delete if not allowed) nsfw / 18+

avoidant culture is liking being submissive and degraded but not trusting anyone to do it and feeling disgusted with yourself afterwards

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

avoidant culture is “being a good listener” but you’re actually just using other people’s problems to not think about your own issues

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Avoidant culture is feeling like there are too many hands grabbing at me and they’re all trying to take a piece of me when I’m overwhelmed

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Dismissive avoidance culture is being in a group of rly anxious attachment ppl and both being sympathetic and trying my best to support them whilst becoming rly jaded bc I need space but what if they take it personally?

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

dismissive avoidant attachment + autistic culture is finding out that apparently it’s a social norm to reach out to people and hang out one-on-one to show you care about them outside of the group and thinking “god that’s so needy” and then sort of hating yourself for all of that

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Disorganised attachment culture is I love you I miss you I think about you all the time but I cant help but be awful to you when you're close. I'm sorry

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

dismissive avoidant culture is being demonized online by the same type of people who repeatedly violated your boundaries, stalked you, guilt tripped you for having friends, and put words in your mouth that you never said or thought. god forbid i want to protect myself quietly, when anything i say does nothing.

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

sorry I keep sending anons, I don’t want any people around me knowing I suck this much (they’d act weird around me)

You don't suck, you just have a specific set of difficulties like the rest of us. This is exactly the place for you, you're welcome here and you don't need to apologise for using a space created with people like you in mind. ❤️‍🩹

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Dismissive avoidant culture is trying to restrain myself from being the cruelest mf known to man as soon as I get bored bc someone’s too clingy (I’d rather be watching YouTube)

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Dismissive avoidant culture is loving the attention when it comes to my jokes, my clothes, my art- but when it’s no longer fun and useful to me I just struggle to accept the attention because it’s just claustrophobic at that point

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Avoidant attachment culture is pushing people away and feeling bad in a sort of shallow “aw man that sucks for you” way bc you’re simply unable to *care* anymore

And you feel guilty in a cursory way since you’re *supposed* to, but really you don’t which makes this a little worse since you can’t romanticise yourself as a poor traumatised tragic hero

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Dismissive avoidant attachment culture is sometimes wishing you could like someone back just to avoid their meltdown when you inevitably reject them.

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[avoidant-attachment-culture]

not sure if this is allowed (ignore if so), not a culture submission, but any autistic 18+ avoidants into deltarune or undertale or any 2010s media wanna be friends LOL i'd just kill to have relatable people around

Definitely allowed :) If anyone fits this description send me an ask with details