#fearful avoidant

[bpderanged]

As an avoidant, I find it incredibly difficult to open up to people—even when I know I'm safe with them. So when I enter a dynamic where we're both allowed to share our struggles, it always ends up being one-sided real fucking fast.

Like, they open up all the time. And I open up, too—but only once in a blue moon. And before I know it, I'm playing therapist most of the time because they assume we're in a mutual exchange.

Fun fact: we're not.

[baddogmari]

my range of emotions go from “it’s scary how much i feel” to “it’s scary how much i don’t feel”

[phosphenemoth]

I'm so tired of hurting myself and everyone else in the act of trying to avoid hurting myself and everyone else.

[pretendmynameispoetic]

i can never win

[neurantics-theythem]

Disorganized (aka fearful-avoidant) attachment style is overanalyzing/overcorrecting when you think your partner might be pulling away from you, but then pulling away from them when they draw close to you.

It is both craving AND fearing intimacy so deeply that you grip people tight in your hands lest they leave you, but keep them at an arms length lest they love you.

[its-simply-just-krys]

i fear relationships and yet i want to be loved.

[sunbleachedmind]

How does one rewire their brain to accept love

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

avoidant culture is feeling far more comfortable yearning for fictional people that don't exist because i never actually have to get close to them. i can just write alone and feel comfortable never divulging anything

.

[b4mbilvrr]

-`♡´-

[baddogmari]

i just want to stop feeling like a bad person for literally everything

[tarnishedflatware]

[phosphenemoth]

*Shuts off all my feelings like flipping a switch and never talks to anyone again*

[canis-dies]

01. Jimmy Neutron Had a Dog, So Why Can't I Have a Friend? - Hot Mulligan. // 02. Herakles - Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) // 03. so what i lied - Negative 25 // 04. neurocophany-theyshe on tumblr // 05. Unknown - Liana Finck // 06. lostmf on tumblr // 07. soapstore on tumblr // 08. Letters to Felice - Franz Kafka // 09. deer333teeth on tumblr // 10. With Solitude - Jane O. Wayne // 11. theambitiouswoman on tumblr // 12. Unknown // 13. Unknown // 14. Futile Devices - Sufjan Stevens // 15. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? - Jeanette Winterson // 16. The Life Cycle of an Attachment Style - AttachmentProject // 17. Avoidant Attachment - AttachmentProject // 18. Unknown // 19. eternalworm1 on tiktok // 20. Hey Ken, Someone Methodically Mushed the Donuts - Free Throw // 21. So That's What They Do In College - This Is Pointless // 22. Unknown // 23. I Just Sighed. I Just Sighed, Just So You Know - Los Campesinos! // 24. Fine, Great - Modern Baseball // 25. 偽物人間40号 - ¿? shimon (English Translation) // 26. 偽物人間40号 - ¿? shimon (English Translation) // 27. Great Romances of the 20th Century (Demo version) - Taking Back Sunday // 28. Something About a Bunch of Dead Dogs - Hot Mulligan // 29. DreadfulHounds on instagram // 30. Unknown // 31. Something About a Bunch of Dead Dogs - Hot Mulligan

[brainspiraling]

Sometimes when people say they "can't give you what you need", they mean they won't— they don't care enough to.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

“who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” i whisper to myself, knowing full well that anytime someone comes remotely near my kitchen i scramble and hide in the fucking dishwasher

[scifibabee]

do i have a disorganized attachment style

orrrrrrrrr

am i a high masking autistic who craves connection with the people i love and trust, but feels deeply vulnerable when attempting to unmask (for good reasons!!!), so when i do unmask or ask for help meeting a need i then experience rebound anxiety and retreat more deeply behind my mask to avoid being rejected? (because obviously being my authentic self will always result in abandonment)