crowmayhem

[crowmayhem]

I am back from the dead. Happy new year guys :)

New year new me. Because sinxe i started uni and work i kinda let myself go. I am far too scared to go on the scale after the holidays now. So i will start the new year with fasting as long as i can again and than see how much i disgutingly weigh.

[crowmayhem]

Oh BTW I didn't get my tongue pierced but my vertical labret. It hurt like hell but I absolutely love how it looks :)))

It's official

I finally lost my first 10 kgs :D

That means when I tell my parents I can get my tongue pierced yayyy wuhu

[crowmayhem]

Tw ED

So in about less than 3 weeks I will be going on vacation with my ex classmates for a whole week. More like a party vacation and so.

So till than I will try and to lose another 10 kg. I want them to notice that I have lost weight since they last saw me in summer clothes.

The only problem is that in those coming weeks I have two days were I have plans to go eat out with friends.

Till those days I will try and to eat nothing or barely anything. :)

[crowmayhem]

It's official

I finally lost my first 10 kgs :D

That means when I tell my parents I can get my tongue pierced yayyy wuhu

[crowmayhem]

It's PRIDE MONTH

And for that I have decided that food and eating is homophobic and I won't to it too often this month :D

[crowmayhem]

I back on track hell yeah :D 33hours and going strong 💪. I already lost 1kg between yesterday and today :))

[crowmayhem]

Planning to eat as little as possible till Friday. Because on Friday I will see finally Maneskin after waiting 2 years and I wanna look my best for the concert. Plus I am going with two old school mates and I want also look good infront of them and let them see that I am not that fat fuck from a year ago. More or less thou :)

[crowmayhem]

can go the whole day without eating hardly anything but as soon as I’m alone or as soon as I take one bite of food I can’t stop

I don’t know how to prevent this it ruins the whole day

[crowmayhem]

My mom just agreed to a tongue piercing if I lose 10 kgs :) so only 2 kg to go

I know I am 20 but some piercings I am not allowed to do because I still live at home and don't have a job (but hopefully I soon get into my dream uni fingers crossed) so yeah still either one of this happens no certain piercings for me (most of them in the face besides a septum bc I already have that one)

[crowmayhem]

I hope my friends will soon see that I lost some weight. I just want them to know but without saying it outright. Please I want it so bad that somebody notices. Urgh

Anybody got tips to make them notice it but without saying it?

[crowmayhem]

Let's all ignore how tiny that gif is xD

Guuuuuuuys only 2 kgs more and then I have lost my first 10 kgs. I am so excited that it fuels my need to hunger even more :)

And I have such the need to tell my friends and fam that I almost lost 10 kgs now but I don't want to bc they for sure will aks how and worry about me so yeah nope not doing it.

And my first goal weight is still 8kg away so let's see when that happens hopefully soon :D

[crowmayhem]

Guuuuuuuys only 2 kgs more and then I have lost my first 10 kgs. I am so excited that it fuels my need to hunger even more :)

And I have such the need to tell my friends and fam that I almost lost 10 kgs now but I don't want to bc they for sure will aks how and worry about me so yeah nope not doing it.

And my first goal weight is still 8kg away so let's see when that happens hopefully soon :D

[crowmayhem]

I think I may have a crush on my best friends twin brother... And I dont want to have that.

At the game night in Saturday the only thing we do is bicker at each other or tease or humorously insult each other.

But his sister my BFF has said he has high standards like me so yeah. Plus even thou he is really intelligent and friendly he sometimes says some stuff where you think wtf is wrong with you. So yeah

And it's not like I wanna lose that damn weight for that guy. No. I want to lose some fucking weight to get some ladys not some dude...

[crowmayhem]

Oh no I'm Binging (eating normally)

[crowmayhem]

Dear lady's gentlemen and everyone else I am finally at my weight again that I was before Easter.

So let's see how low I will be after the game night. Maybe I will drink some alcohol there but not too much bc the last time I fasted and then drank alc I puked my guts out bc I didn't knew my line anymore of my alc tolerance. So yeah let's hope it's 2 more kgs :)

[crowmayhem]

This will be my meal for today :)

I fucking gained 2 kgs over easter. But I am the only one to blame... That's why I am going on a fast till Sunday morning. It will be hard bc on Saturday my friends and I are having a game night with pizza but I will try not to eat a slice.

Let's pray I will not break till Sunday like the disgusting pig I am.

[crowmayhem]

TW ED

I hate how I physically can't throw up if I want to. Like i don't really have a gag reflex the only thing my finger do when they are deep in my throat is make me cough.

Like come on body you want that disgusting food gone so why can't you do it urgh.