madewithheart

[madewithheart]

Can I take you all out to a ball game?

I have never been delicate

Trying feels weird

And this world crushes

delicate things anyway

So maybe, for all our sakes,

I need to bare some blunt truths

Apparently my type,

or at least one of them,

Is transgirls

who stand head and shoulders above me

With brightly colored hair

Or queer undercuts

Or piercings or tattoos or both!

Long talented fingers

And sultry voices

that read poetry at open mics

Or whisper nice things to me in the dark

(Or ideally, both...)

They give THE BEST hugs!

Warm, broad, strong, soft, kind

The kind of hug

that makes me feel safe and loved

So hey.... Can I take you out to the ball game?

You make me want to write poems about you

The way your skirt swishes in the night air when you twist happily

The way your eyes dilate when you look at me

The way your voice echoes from the mic past awestruck friends straight into my heart

Or I guess.... gayly into my heart

Morgan, light a match for me?

No, not to shorten your life

by 9 minutes

But to spark a flame

in our hearts

Siren, cages are worse for you

because you have bigger wings to stretch

But that over there?

That's not a cage-

That's just a net

To protect our bodies

From accidental balls

It's June and

My heart is bursting into bloom

Like the gardens growing up your sleeves

And I am covered

in powdered sugar and kisses

And I know

which one

is sweeter

<3

Begun Friday June 6, finished Monday June 9, 2025

[madewithheart]

Alt: Two photos of a bird walking along a stick in a river, its reflection in the calm water a perfect mirror.

Two photos of cheerful dandelions and subtle, modest purple wildflowers amongst green grass and bits of brown mulch. There are ants feeding on the dandelion nectar.

Three photos of lush bunches of small bell-shaped flowers, under warm sunlight

[madewithheart]

I went on a short walk today!

Alt Text for the video: an interesting spray of leaves and seeds hanging off a tree branch

[madewithheart]

Obituary

We must *survive*

Long enough

To see his *obituary.*

We have always been here.

And we always will be!

This hate is just a blip

In an unbroken history

A lineage of love

Stretching before and ahead

Thousands of years

*We* must survive

Long enough

To see his obituary.

Their war drum

Is but a swan song

A last dying, lonely breath

Of a madness that cannot last.

But we?

*We* will survive the dying.

We *must* survive

Long enough

To see *his* obituary.

I am too tired

Of queer funerals

Of overdoses

Of bullets in children's hearts

Of the scent of freshly mowed grass

Of HALF of long COVID deaths are suicide.

It's YOUR turn, asshole.

We *must* survive

Long enough

To *see* his obituary.

Spring awakens my communities.

Daffodils and protest signs

Swaying in the wind

Alongside pride flags

Mutual aid groups and green onions

Coming into lush fruition

To nourish each other

Warm breezes and warmer hugs

As we gather together

Joys, sorrows, fears, celebrations

Validation and siblings-in-arms

We *will* make it, fam.

We WILL

Live long enough

To see

*His* obituary.

4/6/25

[madewithheart]

REMEMBER acrostic

Rain fading to a sunshower rainbow

Evergreens swaying to the wind's whisper

Mountaintops of chilled clarity

Enigmatic depths of the sea

Mica sparkling in the granite boulders

Brought by glaciers of another

Epoch, before the world caught fire

Remember it is out there, waiting for you

4/5/25, for long covid writing group Covidian Comrades

[madewithheart]

Freedom

in my dreams

I am a summer wind

laughing dancing racing

skimming effortlessly over wavecrests and wildflowers

running flying careening diving

in my dreams

i am a wolf

never tiring of the hunt

the run the play the dance the song

running leaping biting howling

a being of strength, muscle, and family

in my dreams

i am a child

running until my thighs burn

through the forests I called home

swinging across monkey bars

tickle fighting my siblings until I coudn't breathe

back when that was something to joke about

in my dreams

the world stops spinning

for once

everything is still and safe

my steady footsteps leading me, unhurried, into the future

deep unhindered breaths

In my dreams I never tire

a walk in the woods is invigorating, not damning

a game is fun, not debilitating

a recipe is a challenge, not a three hour recovery nap

filling me with cool morning air

in my dreams

I am healthy

in my dreams

i am safe

in my dreams

i am cherished

in my dreams

i am active

in my dreams

i am free of these shackles

March 24 2025

[madewithheart]

I live in Massachusetts

and it's March

which means that the birds are starting to sing again

even though the dingy snow

is still piled taller than me

in grocery store parking lots

[madewithheart]

Many Loves

Polymorous love is:

Holding hands in Boston

With your wife ... AND your girlfriend...

And people yelling at you for blocking the path

...ooops ^^;

Polyamorous Love is:

Accommodating a half dozen allergies

Every time you plan a cookout

Because planning around inconveniences

Is how we show love

And also

No one wants to go to the ER today

Polymorous love is:

Knowing which people foods will kill a dog

(You've never owned a dog)

And petting your boyfriend's best friend's nesting partner's bunny

After you've all made chili together in their kitchen

With the *good* knives

Polyamorous Love is:

Realizing you have half a day free and a car

And driving an hour to surprise your partner

With groceries or apple pie

And a hug

Polymorous love is:

Hand me Down clothes, computer parts,

Bowls, and fuzzy blankets

Eating someone else's leftover takeout

(With permission!)

Sleeping in borrowed hoodies

And always keeping spare toothbrushes in stock

Polymorous love is:

Group chats

Google calendar

Ambiguous dates

Kissing your friends

And befriending your partners

Polymorous love is:

Homework, to unlearn the limits

Laundry, to keep us healthy

Logistics and processing

Memorizing 6 different work schedules

Across four different time zones

And maybe the entire planet

Polymorous love is:

Either planning who goes to which holiday events months in advance

Or waiting until the last minute and all staying home

To build new traditions of our own

Polymorous love is:

Accidentally spreading the polycule plague

Because you shared tea with a friend

And her girlfriend... And her girlfriend's girlfriend

...

Before a crowded poetry reading

And then kissed your wife and boyfriend and friend who is more than a friend...

But also sharing the soup

And picking up tissues and chocolate on your way home

And reminding each other to go to urgent care

And take ibuprofen for the fever

Polyamorous Love is:

Everyone's needs before anyone's wants

Jealousy is just an unmet need

And not knowing whose sock

The cat just found under the couch

Polymorous love is:

All hands on deck in an emergency

Polymorous love is:

Crocheting a baby blanket for

your ex boyfriend's sister's little girl

From the softest blue and purple yarns

thrift stores can provide

Polymorous love is:

Appreciating your wife's girlfriend

Because even though she can be irritating

And so can you

She has a better car

And when she drives it saves you a headache

And she can eat sushi with your wife

While you're at work

Because ginger makes you stop breathing

Polymorous love is:

Believing firmly that metamors are family

And you don't turn your back on family

Even if they're as annoying as a little sister

Polymorous love is:

Road trips

where pit stops take 45 minutes

Because even McDonald's

can't make that many sandwiches that fast

And half of the passengers are playing video games

Or making out in the backseat

Polyamorous Love is:

Ikea

U-Hauls

And family-size packages of marshmallows and hot dogs

Polyamorous Love is:

Stone soup for the queer soul

Polyamorous Love is:

Making a family

Built on the ebbing and flowing of romance

Commitment to each other's needs

And the future

And freedom

To be yourself

And love as you are

And fill each other's lives with abundance and joy

Thursday, March 20, 2025

[madewithheart]

Tear-stained Polaroids

Grief whites out the world.

The first time I remember having something to grieve,

Was leaving my siblings behind.

You, frozen in time,

Forever energetic, loving, joyful children in my memories,

Painted in sunshine and nail polish,

Grass stained knees and shrieks of laughter.

I grieve the day I lost you.

The day I found myself.

When I left to keep myself alive,

And killed a part of me instead.

[madewithheart]

Impromptu poem for prompt: write a poem of at least 6 lines about someone who has had the greatest inspiration or effect on you.

Six: The euphoric jingle of bracelets

Seventeen: Offering me my freedom in your warm hands

Nineteen: Keeping me safe from the danger you never thought you'd need to protect me from

Because *you* believed me

Twenty-five: loving me through windows and bubbles and patience even though distance is the hardest thing for you

Twenty-nine: I keep your photo by my closet so I can still say good morning to you every day. Your fuzzy purple jacket still smells like you, for now.

[madewithheart]

Natural Love

I can love you like the ocean

In that I am a force of nature

You cannot tame nor own

I can love you like wildfire

Life-altering and ever-changing

Bringing new growth and heat

If you are brave enough

to weather the storms

And yes!

I will love you like the sun

Warm and lifegiving

And always there for you

Love reflected off the moon

And shining all around you

Even in your darkest nights

But like the sun and moon

I am for everyone

I am not only for you

And no...

I cannot be your everything

But I can be yours

The way your neighborhood is yours

And you can know me

The way you know

every pothole and stop sign

And I will befriend all your neighbors

And be theirs too

And I can belong to you

The way I belong to the woods

Wild and feral and verdant

At home and at peace

You cannot simplify an ecosystem

To a matched pair

Let me tell you

How the world unbalanced

When they killed the wolves

I was never meant to be an only

Love for me is born of community

They say it takes a village

To raise a family

I tell you look

At all my beautiful sisters before me

My mother didn't teach me much

Except how NOT to love a child

But she did tell me

That to exclude is to hate

So don't ask me to be exclusive babe

Because I am made of love

Friday March 28, 2025

[madewithheart]

Working on a chapbook called "Love Letters I Will Never Send"

[madewithheart]

Five Years (a poem about long COVID)

Five years of

negative tests and inconclusive results

sub-clinical symptoms and no diagnosis

"well if you never had a positive covid test it doesn't count"

it doesn't matter that I was in the first wave

there were no tests for me when I needed one,

when the hospitals overflowed

five years

of doctors' shrugs and being called lazy

of bad advice and victim blaming

five years

of pushing through it and crashing and false hope

five years

of "it's just deconditioning; exercise until you hurt yourself"

Five years of

But you don't LOOK sick

Five years of

Sorry, we can't give you "special treatment"

Five years of

your support needs are too much for me

Five years of

forcing myself to care for others and neglect myself

Five years of

being too disabled to work full time

but not disabled enough for my needs to be acknowledged

not disabled enough for people to care

Five years...

of invisible illness half the country doesn't believe in,

and still more do not understand.

Five years of being one of

400 million people worldwide.

and one in 19 US adults.

but still having to fight for accommodations.

Five years of

i saved my spoons all week for these five minutes

Five years of

every time I stand up I become a fall risk

as my blood pressure drops

and the world spins kaleidoscope around me

Five years of

I sleep ten hours most nights now

Five years of

I spend good days on the couch,

and bad ones chained to my bed

Five years of

Crocheting and reading are too difficult for my brain

So I don't get the luxury of hobbies anymore

Five years of

10.1% of people who catch covid the first time get this

and 90% of those patients "only had mild infections" like me

but there's nothing you can do to prevent it

Five years

of never drawing a full breath again

five years

of aches and pains and exhaustion

five years

of every new illness making my baseline drop

and no one being able to tell me why

five years

of getting worse, not better, with every passing month

five years

of forcing myself through one more day, task, shift, meal when I wanted to cry

Five years

of feeling my body fall apart under me

but not having any way to stop it

five years...

five years...

five years....

[switch to AAC]

Some days, even talking costs more energy than I have.

6% of patients ever reach anything close to remission or recovery.

94% don't.

There is no cure to fix me.

I'm scared.

[switch back to voice]

Get your shots.

Covid isn't over.

[madewithheart]

REBLOG IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOME ANONS IN YOUR INBOX

come thru fam

[madewithheart]

Autumn

(an acrostic poem)

All the colors imaginable showering through the air

Under my feet, crunching satisfyingly

There's a special coziness

Under a blanket, in your arms, or

Meandering through an apple orchard

Now it's getting cold, but your love warms my heart

Written August 21, 2023

[madewithheart]

Just Another Apocalypse

If there's one thing the world has taught me, It's that people just go on living no matter what apocalypses happen. I think it's a coping mechanism, or something, to say it's just another apocalypse; Just another day that ends in "Why?"

The sky is falling, but would you like a cup of tea? The oceans are acidifying; what do you want from the grocery store? Air quality too dangerous to go for a walk, wanna play co-op instead?

From a global pandemic to a loved one dying, I've seen it again and again: Bad things happen, apocalypses big and small... and people just go about their lives, living, loving, laughing, finding joy and connection and happiness somehow, loving and caring for each other as best we can, until a new day dawns, and everything looks a little brighter.

This world will not end in fire. Or at least, not *only* in fire... It will end in love

Written 8/21/23

[madewithheart]

Pandemic

If you weren't working for a year, what did you do?

I felt the rain on my skin. I wrote poetry and reacquainted my heart with the white terror of Stage fright and the giddy high of performance before a crowd. I got hurt and got back up again. I learned to love better. I got sick and I got better. Mostly. I suffered and I healed and I suffered more. I loved. I cooked and baked. I walked many miles. I cried and I laughed. I learned to fear and I learned to take risks. I communed with gods. I identified birds. I watched too much YouTube. I learned about computers and video games and love languages. I learned about myself. I broke up with people. I asked people out. I kissed someone I'd only just met. I tipped my understanding of myself upside down and back, and when the dust settled, I found myself standing in the wreckage. I fucked. A lot. I started looking up at the sky more. I listened to the voices of my past and of my future.