my-partners-are-dumb

[my-partners-are-dumb]

damn life got hectic and i haven’t posted here-

This Morning:

me: *half asleep trying to brush my teeth*

Blended: *wants to help* Here Here!!! you brush and i floss!! *starts aggressively dancing and giggling*

[my-partners-are-dumb]

Us Leaving Walmart:

blended them (in a wheelchair for context): give me all the bags!!

me: are you sure y’all can carry all of that?

blended: yes i’m the cart!! I got this! you need both hands to push me!

me: ok…

walking/rolling out the door with their fingers curled around the bags

them quietly singing to themselves as we leave: 🎶don’t ask me how I did it, I just did it! It was hard.🎶

(they have sung this every few hours for days)

me: yeah? that y’all’s new theme song?

them: Everything is hard.

me: fair enough-

—————

sorry I haven’t posted here in awhile!! we where moving and some other stuff happened and then we got married!!! they are collectively officially my spouse! (some of my partners are considered my spouse and some prefer to stay partner for our individual dynamics)

[my-partners-are-dumb]

*they're sick so here’s some snap shots

Remus: my stomach feels like there's mouth wash in it

Me: wha

—

Shallow/blended: why aren't koalas bears

Me: because they don't have the koalifications

Shallow: *near crying* no because they're marsupials

—

Shallow: have you ever seen a kangaroo on steroids?

Me: no?

Shallow: body builders are gross.

Me:…

Shallow: *near crying again* do you know about the mega cow? Those monstrosities exist.

—

Shallow: I wanna watch Coyte Peterson be bit by things 😭

Me: ok sweetie

Shallow: *crying* But I'm comfy

—

Me: *typing up this post*

Shallow: listen you can have a work wife; *near tears* but she better not replace me.

Me:*looks down at them laying on my chest*… this isn't even my work phone??

Shallow: what- who are you talking to 😭😭

Me: …the blog?

[my-partners-are-dumb]

Tim: *in the shower*

Me: *getting ready by the sink* God why didn't you say my hair was this bad??

Tim: huh? *turns off water* what do you mean? *peaks head out curtain* oh shi- yeah that's bad.

Me:… wow thanks.

[my-partners-are-dumb]

Middle of the night

me: *coughs*

???: *covers my mouth while asleep*

me: exc-

???: *recovers mouth and snorts*

[my-partners-are-dumb]

me: *peacefully in the shower*

remus: *runs in the bathroom* I JUST HEARD THE BEST CONVO IN INNER FROM YOUR BOYS!

me: ???

~a few min ago in inner~

hoodie: *just woke up from another hospital stay because health is an illusion apparently* hey friendo 👉🤠👉

tim: Friend?? Friend??! I am your boyfriend!!

hoodie: SO YOU ADMIT IT!!

tim(aka; Mr. denial): no. No shut up!

[my-partners-are-dumb]

masky: *hiding in closet writing*

me: *just came home* hey honeybee!

masky: *waves paper through the door*

me: wha?

masky: *knocks on wall and waves paper again*

me: … okay that’s adorable.

masky: paper- “cuddles? []yes []no”

me: yes you adorable idiot

masky: 😊 *grabby hands from the floor*

[my-partners-are-dumb]

me: how much do you love me?

toby: you want me to go look for your phone in the bathroom?

me: pls :)

toby: it’s gonna cost you!

me: i already owe you 12 kisses!!

toby: gotta start a tab~

me: this is highway robbery!!

[my-partners-are-dumb]

unknown/blended: *wakes up and knocks phone out of my hand*

me: yeah? you want attention?

unknown/blended: ya. 🎶what i want is small, i want it allll🎶

me: yup ok.

[my-partners-are-dumb]

remus: *with an empty sprite bottle in-between his teeth*

me: No! Drop it!

remus: grrrr

me: Drop it!! remus istg!

[my-partners-are-dumb]

10pm at night:

remus: *staring me dead in the eyes* *starts doing the whole ‘juju on that beat’ dance while muttering the song*

remus: *sees me typing* what are you- everytime i do something stupid i’m going to see you typing on that damn blog aren’t I?

me: … *typing*

remus: *proceeds to sing ‘it’s a hard knock life’ while doing the ‘whip and nae-nae’*

[my-partners-are-dumb]

The Birth of My-Partners-Are-Dumb:

me: What do you want to eat for dinner?

remus: That pussy?

me: No.

remus: That ass??

me: something nutritious!

remus: Them tiddies???

me:

remus: …Mommy milkers?

me: …Imma make a damn blog about the absolute bs y’all say.

remus: Look all im saying is that your cum is very nutritious!