myun-saidthoughts

[myun-saidthoughts]

❦♡❦♡ Astrology Observations ❦♡❦♡

❥Dominant un-evolved Libra/7th house placements prioritize romantic partners over platonic relationships. The amount of depth or care that they allow themselves to feel is curated for their partner, and no matter how much consideration or care you show them, the amount of depth they will allow in from you is limited.

❥For Aquarius Moons (or dominant Aquarians) the root of many long-term struggles lies in how they respond to discomfort—by default, they tend to avoid it, which only delays growth and resolution.

❥1st House Chiron (maybe Pluto depending on other factors in the chart) can create the native to have deep self worth issues around their self image. They could lack confidence and there's often times dilemmas on how they "should" act or "should" look based on how others treated them.

❥If the native's Sun has little to no aspects in their birth chart, the chance that their Father is either emotionally or physically absent is likely, especially if the Sun is in the 7th, 10th or 12th house.

❥Nessus (the asteroid) aspecting the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus or the Ascendant indicates the native has dealt with deep abuse with the people they are closest with in their life. This abuse has fundamentally shaped them to become the person they are today.

Sun

Abuse from the father or dominant parental figure

Ego wounds; struggles with self-confidence and identity

Difficulty asserting autonomy; fear of being alone or independent

Potential for codependent behavior rooted in early validation issues

Moon

Abuse from the mother or maternal figure

Emotional manipulation, neglect, or inconsistency

Victim mindset or emotional enmeshment is common (your mother may have shown those traits early on in your life)

May struggle with emotional regulation and safety

Mercury

Abuse from siblings or through verbal communication

Childhood pain transferred into sibling dynamics

Parental abuse may distort thought processes or communication patterns

Mental overstimulation or inner criticism may stem from early verbal harm

Mars

Physical abuse or exposure to violence

Aggression as a learned coping mechanism

Impulsive, reactive behavior tied to unresolved rage from upbringing

Prone to conflict or projecting anger when triggered emotionally

Venus

Abuse from romantic partners or through love and affection

Tendency to seek self-worth through others

Attracting unhealthy relationships due to unhealed abandonment wounds

Love becomes a battlefield for reenacting early trauma

Ascendant

Abuse tied to early childhood and identity formation

The trauma is deeply embedded in how one shows up in the world, the abuse feels foundational, like it shaped your core self

Can manifest as self-protection, masking, or people-pleasing

Deep-rooted need to protect yourself; hyper-awareness of how others perceive you

Can result in either shrinking away from attention or overcompensating through control

❥Air and Fire dominant natives become bored with romantic connections quite quickly when there's no mental stimulation or attraction. Fire Venus/Asc/Mars will stick it out for the most part if there's genuine physical attraction. However Air dominant natives especially Venus/Asc/Mars will likely leave a connection if there's not enough conversation or playfulness involved.

❥Neptune conjunct Descendant can indicate a tendency to be deceived by romantic partners. They may choose partners who withhold a part of themselves, or they have 'rose colored glasses' towards individuals who are not healthy minded. They may see the red flags but ultimately chooses to ignore or give them the benefit of the doubt and forgive very easily. Especially if Neptune makes harsh aspects to the Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars.

❥Mars + Uranus + Pluto in the 5th House can indicate a tendency to form a gambling addiction. It also can showcase an intense need for outside fun, stimulation or adrenaline.

❥A native with an 11th house in Scorpio may experience pain or hardship when forming friendships or when it comes to finding a sense of community—especially if the Moon, Chiron, Saturn, or Pluto is present. The friendships they attract often bring intense lessons around self-worth and self-love. Compared to others, they may find it more difficult to build and maintain friendships, and might also rely more heavily on their friends for emotional support or validation.

❥Scorpio/8th house Moon individuals can have a harsh and emotional distant relationship with their Mother. Either the mother was emotionally abusive, narcissistic, absent or cold (depending on the sign). As the native matures, their relationship with the mother may improve. However, in early childhood, the native likely experienced emotional absence or instability from her.

❥Aries/6th House placements prioritize the gym more than other placements. Routine and a consistent workout schedule mentally calms their mind. They feel their best when they are at the gym, or when they are doing physical self care, such as facials, yoga, pilates, cardio, practicing a fixed diet, and so fourth.

❥5th/10th/11th House Moon, Venus, Sun, Mercury, Libra/Pisces placements are naturally in the Universes favor when it comes to gaining fame online or being noted for their beauty. Their appearance is favored on camera and the chances of gaining popularity online is very likely. They also may have incredibly soft skin and are blessed with facial genetics.

❥12th House placements especially Chiron, Venus, and Lilith often attract unwarranted animosity or jealousy from others. These individuals frequently become targets of projection and are blamed for actions they haven’t committed. They either speak up and are punished for it, or stay silent and are misunderstood. Others often driven by insecurity—construct false narratives about who they are.

As a woman, other girls may misconstrue your character, often withholding trust or projecting unwarranted animosity—especially if they feel you threaten their relationship with a partner or romantic interest. Their insecurities cast you as the villain, leading to you being reprimanded for actions you never took. They might label your behavior as “fake” or inauthentic, causing you to question yourself. Even if you know deep down that these narratives are false, the consistency of these experiences can make you wonder if there’s any truth to their accusations. Constant gossip could occur where these girls talk behind your back and nothing is every stated to your face, if you were to ask where their animosity stems from they will say "Just because."

Insecure boys may treat you poorly as a reflection of their own inner wounds. They might desire you but resent the fact that they can’t have you, which leads them to act cold, dismissive, or rude. Some may react with anger or irritation to your natural behavior simply because you don’t reciprocate their interest. On the opposite end of the spectrum, others may idealize you—seeing you as an “angel” or someone who can do no wrong. If there are aspects of you that remain a mystery, or if little is known about you publicly, they may fill in the blanks with fantasies or projections. You could be deeply admired without even knowing it. Groups of boys may talk about you behind your back, viewing you as a prize or someone unattainably special, yet never expressing these feelings to your face.

❥12th house Stellium vs 5th house Stellium: Both can do the same action, say the same comment and do the same exact thing; however the 5th house native will receive grace and prolonged consideration for their action while the 12th house native will experience backlash, gossip, and repercussions.

❥Moon/Venus opposite Uranus natives oftentimes struggle with consist relationships or monogamy. They may be drawn to polyamorous relationships or place romantic connections at the bottom of their priority list (especially if they are an avoidant or struggle with emotional vulnerability/intimacy). They may desire a partner in one moment then become completely disinterested in the next. This has to do with the fact that their Mother was often erratic or irrational when it came to the natives needs. One moment the mother was emotionally/physically present, and in the next completely fixated on their own needs and desires. So now, consistency forms as red flags and can even create boredom for the native. They may always be on the go or prefer to change scenery. Stagnation creates uncomfortability especially if they have 9th house placements.

❥8th house/Pluto synastry — especially when you carry deep wounds around self-worth, love, value, and abandonment — can feel very similar to the peace people describe during near-death experiences.

When someone’s Pluto touches your personal planets or activates your 8th house, the feeling isn’t just healing — it’s otherworldly. There's suddenly no more abandonment wounds, no more aching past; the deeper your wound, the more powerful their presence will feel.

8th house/Pluto synastry mirrors this freeing frequency, and it's the one your soul knows intimately, the one your consciousness is most familiar with and that's why this person will feel like "home."

❥12th House Venus natives often hold onto the ‘what ifs’ of a connection because the lingering longing creates an illusion of love. This longing allows them to feel as if the person once chose them, and they cling to that imagined moment for comfort. Longing becomes familiar—safe—because, deep down, they know it’s someone they likely can’t have. In truth, these natives often fear real, reciprocal emotional intimacy. They would rather idealize a connection from afar than face the vulnerability of having one.

❥A Leo Moon/Venus combined with a Virgo Sun and Rising can create a complex relationship with praise and recognition.

The native may crave validation and admiration to feel emotionally secure, yet struggle to truly receive it. Deep down, they long to be seen — not just for what they do, but for who they are. Still, Virgo’s influence brings a strong inner critic and a constant push for perfection. As a result, even when recognition is given, they may feel undeserving, leading to imposter syndrome. The tension between their need for appreciation and their fear of falling short can make it hard to embrace success without self-doubt.

[myun-saidthoughts]

✿❁✿❁✿ 8th House and Pluto Synastry ✿❁✿❁✿

8th house/Pluto synastry — especially when you carry deep wounds around self-worth, love, value, and abandonment — can feel very similar to the peace people describe during near-death experiences, and that's not a coincidence.

When I hear stories about their near death experiences, they always mention a sense of pure bliss, serenity, comfort, and calm that is surrounding them. It's as if any and all wounds within dissipates and all that is left is love and fulfillment. The 8th house carries themes of change, ego death, transformation, and everything that comes with surrender and release.

So when you form an 8th house connection with someone and carry those wounds, it’s as if this person lifts you into a frequency where all that internal pain vanishes — just like what happens when you actually pass on from this physical earth.

When someone’s Pluto touches your personal planets or activates your 8th house, the feeling isn’t just healing — it’s otherworldly. There's suddenly no more abandonment wounds, no more aching past; the deeper your wound, the more powerful their presence will feel.

8th house/Pluto synastry mirrors this freeing frequency, and it's the one your soul knows intimately, the one your consciousness is most familiar with and that's why this person will feel like "home."

Imagine experiencing even a glimpse of that kind of peace here, on this chaotic planet we call Earth — and then trying to let it go? That’s why it can be so hard to let go of this person, that's why your soul looks for them when everything else within you says you shouldn't.

it’s so hard to detach from this kind of bond. The dilemma of wishing to letting go is constant, the deeper the desire for love the more conflicted your soul and mind will feel.

Being with them feels like all the pain inside you finally quiets. It’s no coincidence that the one person who unlocks this part of you also holds the key to releasing all the human hurt you carry. This is why this house holds so much karma—they help you confront the inner wounds this physical world has caused. And so, saying goodbye to them means letting go of the version of yourself you always wished you could be—the version you held onto before the world convinced you that you weren’t enough.

[myun-saidthoughts]

BOOK A SYNASTRY CHART READING WITH ME

Synastry Reading – Emotional & Psychological Insight

This personalized synastry reading explores the emotional and psychological dynamics between you and your person of interest, based on your natal charts. The focus is on how each of you experiences the connection, highlighting key emotional themes, behavioral patterns, and relationship triggers.

If his exact birth time is available, the reading will also include a deeper look into any emotional challenges they may be facing—such as family wounds, past relationships, or inner conflict—which may be influencing how he approaches love and connection.

The final reading ranges from 7 to 10 pages, depending on the depth and complexity of your charts. It includes:

A breakdown of how your chart influences theirs —and how theirs influences you

Interpretation of key synastry aspects and their emotional impact

Analysis of significant natal placements in both charts

Insight into possible emotional patterns, attachment tendencies, and relational dynamics

A blend of psychological and astrological insight to help you understand how each of you truly feels

You are welcome to include specific questions about yourself, them, or your connection—these will be woven into the reading for a fully personalized experience.

This reading is ideal if you're seeking clarity about your emotional compatibility, wondering how he truly feels, or simply want to understand the deeper meaning behind your connection.

Click Below:

[myun-saidthoughts]

12th House & 8th House Themes Using Song Lyrics:

"I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me." (Stevie Nicks)

"No one has come close to you, and I don't think anyone will." (Sydney Rose)

"I don't ever tell you how I really feel, 'cause I can't find the words to say what I mean." (Harry Styles)

"I know I'm not your only, but I'll still be a fool, 'cause I'm a fool for you." (Harry Styles)

"You're not wasting time stuck here like me... The world ended when it happened to me." (Sydney Rose)

"I needed to lose you to find me." (Selena Gomez)

"And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone." (Olivia Rodrigo)

"I was still yours....Even when you weren’t mine." (Nessa Barrett)

"I wish that I could hate you, my baby....I wish that when I left, you'd've chased me." (Charlotte Lawrence)

"You're all that I think about, I even see you when I'm dreaming." (Charlotte Lawrence)

"Cause I've got my mind on you...I've got my mind on you." (Lana Del Rey)

"Say yes to Heaven, say yes to me." (Lana Del Rey)

"Lighting me up like Venus, but then you disappear and make me wait." (Selena Gomez)

"It's like I can't breathe without you inside of me." (Kelly Clarkson)

"It's like I can't think without you interrupting me, in my thoughts, in my dreams, you've taken over me." (Kelly Clarkson)

"We go 'round again, we jump back in bed... That's what you do when you love somebody." (5SOS)

"I'm eating breakfast in bed ever since you left, I'll never love again." (Nessa Barrett)

"I tell myself to run from you, but I find myself attracted to my dilemma." (Selena Gomez)

"And I know what I know, and I know you're no good for me." (Selena Gomez)

"I know I let you have all the power, and I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time." (Kelly Clarkson)

"The bed's getting cold and you're not here... But I'm not alive until you call." (Selena Gomez)

"I just wanna call you home...Even when I know you don't." (Sadie Jean)

"I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go." (Halsey)

"Just a little bit of your heart is all I want." (Harry Styles)

"There's a million reasons why I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants." (Selena Gomez)

"I wish I knew what you were feeling." (Charlotte Lawrence)

"Wish I could make you want to, 'cause you're something I can't undo." (Hollyn)

"I needed to hate you to love me." (Selena Gomez)

"The ground beneath our feet was never sure, so you always had one out the door." (Hollyn)

"This dancing was killing me softly." (Selena Gomez)

"You make me so upset sometimes, I feel like I could lose my mind." (Selena Gomez)

"Fighting every instinct while you hold your pride." (Charlotte Lawrence)

"I should've seen it coming...Every time we say goodbye, I say hello again." (5SOS)

"Can't help the way I keep ignoring every omen...Heaven knows I should let go." (5SOS)

"Close my eyes and see your face...I could stay right here for days." (Sadie Jean)

"You won’t give your heart a chance to break, standing in the shallows safe." (Hollyn)

"But your lips hang heavy underneath me, and I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me." (Halsey)

"There's so much of you that I ignore, 'cause every time you hold me, I feel warm." (Hollyn)

"Picturin' you happy...Somewhere lookin' at me...Wonder if it ever works...Waitin' on the universe." (Sadie Jean).

"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real...There's just too much that time cannot erase." (Evanescence)

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears...When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears". (Evanescence)

"Cause you'll be safe in these arms of mine...Just call my name on the edge of the night and I'll run to you...Even if it's gonna break me." (Lea Michele)

[myun-saidthoughts]

8th and 12th House Synastry Feels Like..

I tell myself I’m over you. I say I no longer search for you in the eyes of others, that I no longer wish for the kind of love I know you can’t give me. And every time I say it, I mean it—I truly do. But then suddenly, I see you in a room full of people, and it feels as if there's this invisible cord that's pulling me towards you. My body instinctively looks for yours, and no matter how many times I remind myself it’s time to let you go, some part of me still clings to a part of you.

We’ve never even dated, I've never had the chance to call you mine and it feels as though we’ve once said goodbye. It feels as if your soul and mine have endured a heartache that remains undiscovered in this lifetime.

A song brings me back to you and suddenly I’m picturing an imagined moment where our eyes meet after months without speaking. I’m with someone else, and so are you; and that realization ignites this gut-wrenching regret I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t wish that the imagined person I’m next to was you—and yet I do. The “what if's” race through my mind, and a soft, quiet part of me still asks for you. No matter how many times I ignore this whisper, that part of me still wants to hold onto a part of you.

Synastry Aspects:

My Moon is in his 12th house.

His Neptune tightly squares my Moon.

His Moon and Venus are in my 8th house, and those planets make multiple aspects to my inner planets.

His South Node conjuncts my Mercury and Ascendant.

His Neptune conjuncts my South Node.

My Natal Aspects:

I have a 12th house Venus, Mercury, Pluto, Chiron and Lilith.

My Moon tightly squares my Neptune.

My Venus sextiles my Neptune.

[myun-saidthoughts]

🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀 8th + 12th House Synastry Astrology Observations:

I have known this boy since summer of 2021 and our dynamic to this day is still weird and unique. So I want to state specific scenarios that have occurred between us.

(I'll update with more observations as time goes on)

His Moon and Venus are in my 8th house, these planets make many tight aspects to my inner planets and those planets also aspect my 5th and 7th house ruler.

My Moon is in his 12th house and it also tightly squares his Neptune, my Moon also aspects his Lilith, 5th and 8th house ruler.

🌸 Staring at one another is very likely. The more avoidant you are the more uncomfortable you may feel with how reactive/how easy it is to care.

🌸 When things are romantic or there's been consistent flirting (without commitment) you two might share this unsaid loyalty to one another. At outings or parties you may make sure to not speak to other people while they are in the room.

Ex: Once at a party a girl was hugging him, the second I made eye contact with him he pushes the girl away, runs in the opposite direction, then comes up to me 5 minutes later to ask me a random question.

Ex. Once he was dating a girl and as I walked up near them (they were dancing), he pushes her away and waves at me and he's done this in other occasions.

Ex. When things were good with us (meaning zero commitment but felt good because of cute conversation) I made sure to not give other boys attention when he is in the room; it felt like a innate reaction within me to do that?

🌸 When we don't appease one another through the above examples the relationship feels more intense or more emotionally charged. It's like us being severely independent and careless with one another increases the tension and somehow creates more awkwardness. For me it feels like i'm fighting my own deep wishes; my heart vs my ego. (We have a Libra MC/Moon/Venus in our composite chart)

🌸 I don't even have his phone number and it feels like I am his ex.

🌸 I have never hung out with him one and one and we've never had sex yet it feels like we have had an intimate intense relationship.

Story: Throughout the years we would always run into each other and he was always more afraid of commitment, he has had two girlfriends but for some reason he's never pursued me on his own. Instead he stares and gets jealous when his friends talk to me.

🌸 Jealousy is very likely even if you're not a jealous person; if you're attracted to them you will get jealous over them/if their attention is towards another.

🌸 Once at a party I walk up to him to say hi but I had to leave the second I got there and as I hugged him he blurted "You're leaving?!" Just by my hug he knew I was upset to go without me saying anything.

🌸 Once at a different outing he was talking to another girl and I kept staring. As I saw them talk I then abruptly (and in a sad manner) walked away and he unknowingly shouted "Wait!"

🌸 What he feels; I feel. When there's an emotional disconnect I can feel the energy shift.

🌸 Staring is so likely. I can't help it. I just have to look at him. Gun to my head my eyes are locked in.

🌸 There's intense expectations that you hold for one another. You expect a certain energy, action, reaction or behavior from them; when it's not met you will feel a low.

🌸 When you are with them and the expectations are met, the high they can give you feels like a drug. I was once high for three days off a cute interaction we had.

🌸 I always wished he would just pull me in and kiss me, I once verbally told this to my sister; I said "I want him to want me so bad that he just grabs me, pulls me in and kisses me." Weeks later, while he was drunk he word for word restated that exact same sentence to me while holding my face. (He said "the second I saw you all I wanted to do is grab you, pull you in and kiss you, can i kiss you?)

🌸 I sometimes can't tell which my feelings are mine vs his. Its cloudy and I ask myself if what I feel is what he feels all the time.

🌸 You'll feel their thoughts and then talk yourself out of knowing "their mind," you'll brush it off and say how illogical it is to "know" what they are feeling.

🌸 The relationship is a constant tennis match of caring to letting go, sometimes you're so certain with moving on and then something, anything can pull you back in.

🌸 I have posted on my social media certain songs, playlists, quotes that were covert messages for him.

🌸 I carefully curate my snapchat stories in hopes it'll make him think of me or want me.

🌸 Idealizing is very common. He places me on this impossible pedestal, and I have said out loud that he "is everything I could ever wish for" and I don't even know him!

🌸 If there's a miscommunication or mishap there will be this deep need to fix the dynamic between you two.

Once my sister yelled at him because he was avoiding conversation (as he does usually) and 2 weeks later he throws a party. I know it sounds insane that he would have a party just to fix the weird dynamic but when I arrived he and his roommate made eye contact and he looked at his roommate saying "Walk with me so I can say hi to them" and the roommate knew immediately and smirked at me while passing.

🌸 I pull open a soft spot in him, I can just tell when he looks at me. Especially when we were talking more.

🌸 It feels safe when I hug him, once he just laid his head on my shoulder and that behavior came so naturally from him.

🌸 When his ego isn't involved he is more open with his feelings.

🌸 Once I grabbed his hand and he looked into my eyes and leaned down to kiss me; it felt so effortless as if we've done this before (we haven't).

🌸 I am SO emotionally unavailable, I always worry about PDA but in this case I dont care who see's me, I openly and willingly showcase my desire and it's so easy to do so. I just don't feel sick or worried about others seeing me be romantic with him, with others I fear when people perceive me with a boy romantically.

🌸 Not saying hi or not talking to him feels so much worse than if I went out of my way to say hi.

🌸 I always worry about making him feel pressured to say hi, I want him to feel ease with me and not worry or be burdened; he feels the same way towards me. (He's told me he doesn't want to pressure me to say hi)

🌸 In recent events and due to zero contact or communication I overly acted nonchalant and I acted like I didn't care but still that is the furthest of how I truly feel. Outwardly I avoided eye contact to make him feel more comfortable or less burdened but it eats at me. I act like I don't want him (to make the connection seem less intense) but I deeply do. He acted the same way towards me and mirrored my behavior.

🌸 I feel like I have to act carefree even when i'm not receiving his attention to make the connection feel less intense; but my body and facial reactions say otherwise no matter how hard I try.

🌸 One night at a party I impulsively went up to him and kissed him without words. He then looked at me, pulled me in and kissed me again. (Again with no words being said to either of us)

🌸 So many unsaid thoughts, feelings and desires. Never once have we ever verbalized our feelings for one another or about our connection and I have known him for 3 years.

🌸 Other people can see and feel the tension between us two.

🌸 I dream of him almost every single night (I am the planet person in the 12th house synastry).

🌸 My dreams showcase his soft and loving manner even when if in "reality" his actions are cold and dismissive. I receive such soft attention in my dreams and I don't understand why; it doesn't mirror his behavior in my waking life therefore I can't understand if it's my deep wishes or his subconscious wishes.

🌸 I had dream of him telling me "You make me feel more than any other girl I've met" and even in my dream I was confused by that statement.

🌸 The second I don't say hi or vice versa tension rises and it becomes more awkward in some manner. It's like not acknowledging one another causes this weird tense dynamic.

🌸 His ex hated me because she knew how he has liked me first. I found out she still viewed me as a threat to their relationship even when I didn't speak to him for 9 months?

🌸 Once he was blatantly drunk and after not seeing him for almost a year he still confessed how attracted he is towards me. He newly broke up with his ex (who hated me) and weeks after he confessed his attraction.

🌸 I have never dated him, and he gets more jealous with me than anyone else he's romantically officially been with. When his friends talk to me he feels threatened, angry and acts annoyed.

🌸 Once his friend was drunk and was non-stop talking to me saying how cute I was, 2 minutes later he runs up, grabs him by the neck and tells him to stop. The friend then avoided me after.

Story: Since he was jealous (and since we're not dating) he tried acting like he didn't care about that occurrence so you know what he does? I stare at him, he stares at me, then walks my way, stops, and turns at the girl next to me to start a conversation. Right. In. Front. Of. ME. Then I walk up to him after and he AVOIDS me. He hates that he gets jealous so to counteract that feeling he acts overly dismissive to "decrease" the emotional charge with us. It doesn't work.

🌸 We mirror each other's behaviors constantly.

🌸 He views me as this "perfect" person but that stops him from ever choosing me because he feels that he can't live up to the partner I deserve. (How do I know this? I just do)

🌸 The second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you. In essence, you want to believe that you are more important to them than others and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case; this realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again mentality"

🌸 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

🌸 The emotional charge you feel when they are in the room with you can be so intense others around you can feel the unspoken desires you two share.

🌸 The intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌸 I’ve noticed that I tend to trigger his jealous tendencies. A few weeks ago, I was at a bar, and at that point, we hadn’t even said hello to each other. I happened to be standing next to a random guy (it was a small table), and he immediately asked his friend who the guy next to me was. The friend, who we both know, turned around, looked at me, and then answered his question.

Another time, we were at a party, and again, we hadn’t really spoken at all. He looked over at a random guy and said something, to which the guy responded, “Ohhh, this girl?” while pointing at me. He just froze and didn’t turn back. It’s like he talks about me to everyone else—just not to me.

🌸 If you are very physically attracted to them, the want or desire for them can arise VERY quickly. You could verbally say "I'm over them" but the second they look visually attractive or if their actions cause emotional closeness, the want for them will reappear again.

🌸 I saw him last night and he was with another girl, when he is drunk he becomes more accustomed to not showing attention to other girls when I'm around. We made eye contact and he backed away from her but it was like he doesn't even realize or understand why he does these things? We've never dated and we haven't talked at allll in basically months. I miss him a lot and wish I had the chance or courage to talk to him more. I can't even remember if I said hi. :(

[myun-saidthoughts]

˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗ Astrology Observations ˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗

🌟 The placement of Pluto in your chart can reveal the theme of pain or transformation you might experience in this life—pain that serves as a catalyst for profound internal and mental shifts within yourself.

The depth of pain will be dependent on your own choices; if you choose to ignore red flags the harsher and more severe the wake up call would be.

Pluto in the 5th house: Struggles might emerge from overindulgence in impulsive or immature choices, such as gambling or seeking joy in fleeting pleasures (such as affairs or short term relationships). Poor choices may manifest because there's a need of deep inner child healing, which could cause deeper emotional wounds in the process. The extremes of choosing quick fun can lead into a habit of poor decision making.  Pluto in the 7th house: Challenges and transformative pain often arise through intimate romantic relationships, pushing you to confront deep-seated patterns and fears. If you keep choosing people who won't choose you or if you rely on others for a sense of self, identity or acceptance then the wake up call would be more prominent or severe. Pluto in the 11th house: Painful experiences may come through friendships or involvement in communities, leading to shifts in how you connect with and trust others. If you find yourself relying on others or seeking external validation through communities, friend groups, or social connections, the wake-up call may lead you to recognize your own worth and embrace yourself as you are, without needing acknowledgment from others. Pluto in the 12th house: Ignoring your psyche or mental struggles can lead to self-unraveling. The more you avoid or dismiss your internal mental health setbacks, the deeper and more painful the lessons will become. You may not even be aware of your emotional needs, but the longer you avoid confronting your sensitivity or past wounds—whether from childhood or relationships—the harder it will be to redefine your self-concept and belief system. You may even experience a revelation about yourself after overcoming depression or anxiety, which can help you understand yourself better. However, remember that being introspective and aware doesn't always mean you're truly feeling your feelings. You may know what to think or how to act, but it’s crucial to connect the emotions you've been holding onto with the feelings beneath them.

Pluto placed in less interactive houses may have a less intense theme, but if you also have Chiron in the same house, its influence can become much more prominent and life-changing, amplifying the potential for deep healing or painful growth.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 5th, 7th, or 8th house, you're more likely to seek out romantic connections, desire a partner, or long for one—even if you’ve experienced emotional turmoil in your childhood due to your parents or past partners.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 1st, 2nd, or 12th house, you’re less likely to be open to a connection. Subconsciously, you might desire or wish for someone to be “your person,” but you may never allow yourself to fully give in.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌟 Pisces/Scorpio placements may have a strong tendency to seek deep emotional experiences during times of creativity. They often search for a specific feeling or emotional state as a catalyst to create art or writing.

🌟 Aquarius placements, especially Moon or Rising, often struggle with avoidance as one of their worst traits in any relationships they navigate—whether romantic, platonic, or even with themselves.

🌟 Scorpios are known for their extreme loyalty. Once they choose you, they are deeply committed and unlikely to leave unless a traumatic emotional blockage arises within the relationship.

🌟 Scorpio risings can have beautiful striking eyes, and because of that their eyes can heavily influence appearance. Their eyes may even become an ice breaker for conversations/be talked about a-lot.

🌟 Aries + Libra axis turnover rate when it comes to relationships is incredibly high. Moving on to the next can come naturally to them unless they have other placements that contradicts that tendency.

🌟 Air signs need intellectual stimulation; they need to feel excited and curious with you.

🌟 8th House placements (esp. Moon or Sun) or Scorpio placements are incredibly private towards the public. They naturally will not post on social media: no instagram stories, tweets, memes, their thoughts or feelings willingly and openly.

This is because

At a young age their needs, thoughts or wishes were ignored and pushed to the side for others sake and so they now have coped to never share their own inner thoughts or feelings to others.

They've been burned or hurt in the past by someone they've trusted, and now they don't share or openly state their true feelings outwardly towards others.

If they have a Taurus/Libra/Leo IC or Gemini/Sagittarius/placements then the chances of sharing themselves online is more likely.

🌟 In 8th/Pluto + 12th/Neptune house synastry connections, if you two are not on speaking terms sudden lows may occur when you're reminded of what was.

If it's been weeks or months since you've both talked and one random day they watch your story on your social media a sudden longing for them may come.

If you run into them and the conversation didn't amount to what you wished for, a low may come and you'll feel as if the relationship is completely over.

🌟 8th house synastry amounts to constant cycles and loops, if you're not wishing for them, you say you're over them.

There could be an emotional block between you two and the desire for them may diminish but If they look at you for one second the way they used too, the desire for them will arise as if the feeling never left.

🌟 In 12th house and Neptune synastry, you might covertly share song lyrics on your social media, hoping they’ll read them and sense that the lyrics are meant as a message for them. Instead of expressing your feelings face-to-face, posting these lyrics in a "hidden" way feels safer.

And if so, you yourself may wonder if anything they publicly post, say, or do is a secret message for you.

You may even go out of your way to somehow find a perfect song that depicts the relationship between you two and use that song as a indirect message to state your true feelings without having to outwardly verbalize them.

(The above statement is more true for those who have Pisces, 12th house, Neptune influence in their cart)

🌟 3rd house synastry creates ease with communication, especially if there's 4th house synastry as well, and if the planets involved are the Sun, Moon, or Venus.

🌟 For 12th house synastry to cause intense idealizations, thoughts, dreams, wishes or obsessiveness there has to be attraction involved, the more attracted you are to them the more you'll idealize them.

🌟 A Neptune/12th house person and a planet person can both experience intense desire, longing, or overthinking, but the way they process these feelings depends on their individual natal charts.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry connections, you might never actually date the person, yet the emotions they evoke within you can feel as profound and intimate as if you had.

🌟 Neptune and 12th house synastry: "You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you'll rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

🌟 Pisces or 12th house placements often turn to writing or art as a means of expressing their inner thoughts, feelings, and longings. The more they feel, the more their creativity flows.

🌟 If you have water placements or planets in water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), deep emotions are embedded within you. The more you avoid these feelings, the more likely physical symptoms such as anxiety or mental struggles will occur. It's your body’s way of processing the hidden emotions you’ve learned to suppress. These unaddressed feelings can manifest in subtle, physical ways, and it's a reflection of the emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you, in essence you want to believe you are more important to them than others, and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case, the realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and from that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again" mentality.

🌟 With the 12th house involved, their actions may reveal their actual character, and while you are able to clearly see these actions (in a objective sense), you might still feel deeply tied to the version of them you feel them to be exists. You’ll observe their behavior yet convince yourself that someone better lies beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

[myun-saidthoughts]

🌟 Neptune and 12th house synastry:

"You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself that they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

Avoidant tendencies are often linked to people who lack 12th house placements, Pisces placements, or significant Neptune aspects to their inner planets. Without those placements can result in a reduced comfort with deep emotional vulnerability or an inability to navigate the dreamlike, intuitive connections often associated with these placements.

Anxious tendencies are often linked to people with 12th house placements, Pisces placements, or Neptune aspects to their inner planets. These individuals may experience heightened emotional sensitivity, deep longing, and a desire to have a mystical connections with others. The feelings that arise with this synastry will resonate deeply for these individuals; it may even offer a sense of comfort and familiarity. For them, it feels more natural to wish and long for someone and this synastry can amplify that feeling. In many cases, the person they desire is someone they can't have (because of other commitments, people, social standards, society, mental struggles and so fourth); and that intensifies the longing which creates a sense of yearning that feels both familiar and inevitable.

[myun-saidthoughts]

hi, can you speak more about 12th house venus synastry specifically? i’ve heard more bad than good about it, but i know you’re great at speaking to the nuances of water house synastry. i won’t deny that synastry is incredibly intense, but so far it’s been so transformative to my relationship. idk if us having a 1st house venus overlay has helped or hurt that, but i’d love to hear more! thank youuu

Hi!

Yes, this type of synastry is very interesting to me because I've experienced it several times, and it manifests differently with each encounter. I believe the "bad" aspects of it are influenced by the core nature of the individuals involved. I wrote a piece about the "bad" aspects, and it's here:

Overall, 12th house synastry is thought-provoking because how each individual navigates it depends on their psyche, their willingness to embrace vulnerability, and their acknowledgment of inner mental struggles. In my opinion, the reason this is considered the house of "hidden" enemies is that it often reflects your own subconscious choices. Depending on your acknowledgment of why you are drawn to individuals who may need saving, fixing, or healing, these people aren’t necessarily "hiding" their core nature. Instead, a part of you may subconsciously choose to overlook the red flags. However, it’s incredibly dependent on individual circumstances and deeply nuanced.

Side Story: I've experienced 12th house synastry in five connections (and even more in platonic relationships). These involve either their inner planets in my 12th house or my inner planets in theirs, and each relationship has been unique.

In some connections, I strongly feel the 12th house energy; in others, I hardly notice it. Sometimes, the aspects or house overlays between us overshadow the 12th house influence entirely. Interestingly, if I don’t feel attraction or desire for someone, the 12th house aspect often doesn’t manifest at all but again that is highly dependent.

I could talk about each relationship, but the overarching lesson is that understanding yourself is crucial when navigating 12th house synastry.

[myun-saidthoughts]

Hello 👋🏾

Hope you’re doing well!

How much are your synastry chart readings?

Thank you 😊

Hi!

Hope you are doing well too! For one synastry reading it'd be a flat rate of $37, readings typically can range from 6-8 pages and I also add in natal chart analysis/observations within each reading!

If you have any specific questions I would be sure to discuss that topic in further detail. After I send the reading, if you would like me to go into more clarification about what I said I am able to do that as well! 💌

[myun-saidthoughts]

The Complexities of Having a Water Moon & It's Influence When Dealing With Saturn/Neptune/Pluto Aspects:

I wanted to make a post about aspects and how much influence aspects can have within a chart. (Needless to say the zodiac sign the planet is in/and the house it is in will bring influence as well)

My theory is that when it comes to your Sun, or Moon and there are aspects towards those planets that are extremely tight orbs; (the tighter the orb the more influential it is towards the natal individual) will cause an internal shift, these aspects can influence 3D manifestations of either harsh or soft experiences and situations. The Moon and Sun in a natal individual represents the Mother and the Father as well as your self identity, your ego, the confidence you hold (or lack thereof) and emotional coping styles/how you process emotion and feelings.

To begin, how well or poorly your Moon is aspected in your chart is key to understanding your emotions. It also reveals how you perceive your mother, how she processed emotions, and how she dealt with them.

Therefore if you have a water moon such as a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces moon, this would mean a few different things with how you perceive your mother and how you process emotions.

Note: Your IC and your moons aspects will be the true dictator of how intense or harsh your emotions/your relationship with your mother can be.

I also personally believe if you have had a harsh or cold childhood then these tendencies to take on other zodiac traits will be more prominent or present, as well as if you have natal 8th, or 12th house placements along with these harsh aspects to your moon then that is when the influence of this will be very prominent.

Neptune rules Pisces

Saturn rules Capricorn and Aquarius

Pluto rules Scorpio

I am aware that Saturn is traditionally ruled by Aquarius and Uranus modernly rules Aquarius, but for this purpose, I will state both rulerships. I will provide descriptions of what it means when these outer planets aspect your Moon.

So if you have a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces moon that tightly opposes, conjuncts, or squares Neptune, Pluto, Saturn, or Uranus, you will take on traits similar to a Pisces, Scorpio, Aquarius, or Capricorn moon.

(You basically will have your natal moon but with the influence of another zodiac trait; and this can influence your natal moon qualities)

A direct example of this is if you're a Scorpio moon but it aspects Neptune, you may exhibit more Piscean qualities by default. Alternatively, if it aspects Saturn, you may display more Aquarian or Capricorn traits by default.

This also means if you have a Pisces moon that also harshly aspects Neptune, you may be more Piscean in nature, so you deal with more Piscean themes when it comes to love, romance or emotions etc.

Water Moon Aspecting Neptune:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Neptune; then you may have tendencies to act as a Pisces moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. Whatever house your Moon is in will paint a better picture of what theme would invoke Pisces tendencies. This also would be more prominent if you have 12th House placements, such as a 12th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

With this placement (and on the extreme spectrum), if you have a Cancer moon that harshly aspects Neptune, you might have been the child who comforted or gave aid to your mother starting at a very young age. She might have always been asking for help or been helpless in some shape or form. She might have struggled with partnerships, and she wasn't the type of Mom that you needed. You might have seen her always being pushed around by the people around her or throughout her life, and boundaries weren't consistent in your home. As a Cancer moon, you might have been the one taking care of her, making sure she ate, had enough water, or you constantly worried about her. There were times where she might come to you for comfort rather than the other way around. You more than likely parented her because a part of you felt like you had to, there was this unsaid obligation within where you felt like you had to take on this role.

With a Scorpio moon that tightly aspects Neptune (in an extreme sense the tighter the orb the more influential this aspect will be for the native) the relationship between the two of you might have been more extreme, intense, and emotionally charged. There were constant battles and shifts from intense emotional abandonment to complete presence. If she didn't show you love, you felt her hate. Explosiveness might have occurred, and she might have struggled with BPD tendencies or addiction. She might have shown you how much she could love you; and in an abrupt change of moment, show you how little she could. She might have chosen other people or things over you and her attitude towards you needs weren't a priority. With the Pisces nature she might have cried to you insistently over her problems, she might have shared her past, shared all the hurt she endured, and state how no one 'saved' her or came to her aid when she needed it the most. Because of that you now feel her pain, her damage and her wrath; you now may view her in a place of empathy or understanding, and that could blur the boundaries within you when it comes to accepting a type of love that doesn't serve you when it comes to romantic or platonic relationships.

In a general nature if your moon makes harsh aspects to Neptune your Mom might have struggled with reality, had self destructed coping mechanisms, addiction, dissociation, or she struggled with communicating necessary things to you. Boundaries for emotional support or the parent-child dynamic might have been something you were never satisfied with, and the boundaries between her being a Mom and you being the child were blurred. You understood her pain and therefore felt the need to take on her hurt, you may have allowed her abuse or mistreatment (however minor or severe it is) since there was a part of you that understood why she struggled, acted or made poor decisions.

(If you have a Pisces moon with the moon aspecting Neptune you may relate to everything I stated above)

On the other hand, if your Moon is in another sign or the IC is not poorly placed, or if this does not resonate with you, then your mom could have been overly dissociated in a different subtle manner. It may not have been a detrimental situation involving abuse or intensity, but perhaps she was never open or communicative with you in the way you needed, or she had other priorities or tasks she focused on. Or she may have even been reliant on medical drugs to manage her mental health, which could have created some distance between you both. Maybe she was present but not emotionally present in the way that your soul needed, she might have also brushed secrets, problems or issues away causing distance and reluctance with sharing your own issues or thoughts to her. You might have been confused with how she operated.

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Neptune, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

So with this natal placement and when it comes to your emotional nature, you could now have Pisces tendencies when it comes to how you love, want to be loved, or how you treat others, (especially so if you have a 12th house Venus, Sun, Mars etc).

EX: If you have a 11th House Scorpio Moon that aspects Neptune, you might become more Piscean when it comes to friendships. You may idealize the perfect friend group, long for a connected soul tribe, and place your own needs on the back burner for the sake of others, especially when it comes to friends and your community. You might find yourself giving to your friendships even when those individuals do not deserve your consideration or sacrifices. You place friendships on a very high pedestal, and often the boundaries of how you are as a friend can be taken advantage of. You may allow poor behavior to continue because seeking redemption with friends is second nature to you, especially if you struggle with confidence, self-worth, or self-love. Though you relate to a Scorpio Moon, on a subconscious level, you may exhibit Piscean tendencies in how you react to or treat others. Your emotional nature might be very intense; you may have deep compassion that others don’t share, and you can be more forgiving and open to rekindling connections because you "understand" them.

Water Moon Aspecting Pluto:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Pluto; then you may have tendencies to act as a Scorpio moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. This also would be more prominent if you have natal 8th house placements, such as a 8th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

Now when you have a water moon and it harshly negatively aspects Pluto, then the intensity of your emotions is more likely to be heightened, prominent, present and emotionally charged. In essence, this adds a deeper and darker layer when it comes to the connection between you and your Mom. It also showcases the relationship with how you process and deal with emotions. You might resonate with either an "all or nothing" mindset, emotions may arise and they might sit in you in a heavy manner, but once the feeling passes it may feel like that feeling that manifested is no longer representative of what you "actually" feel. This would be more accurate for those who struggle with contradictions in their natal chart; such as having an earth Sun or Rising. The more contradictions in your chart the more heavy this aspect will feel.

(The tighter the orb the more influential this aspect would feel for the natal individual)

This would usually also indicate that you search for relationships that hold intensity with constant highs or lows. You may search for eyes to bring you a sense of peace within your bones, and because of that you may overlook everything else about the individual because they allow you to feel so deep within; it fulfills your soul in a way that you can't mimic by yourself. Intense emotions often feels familiar within you and so if there is someone in your life that doesn't "create" that exact intense feeling within, the chances of you being drawn to or interested in them is less likely.

In other words, your childhood likely involved intense emotional experiences. Your mother may have frequently dealt with overwhelming emotions, often creating an environment charged with emotional intensity. She may have shown tendencies of BPD, sharing her feelings in a way that made you feel her pain deeply. As a result, your threshold for intense emotion is now very high.

This exposure may have led you to internalize a similar approach to handling emotions, making you more prone to experiencing emotional turmoil. You may sometimes have explosive episodes due to built-up anxiety or unresolved hurt from those early experiences, processing emotions in a way that mirrors the dynamics you grew up with. In my opinion this natal aspect could evoke internal complexities and self worth/value dilemmas. You may search for external validation where you need others to tell you that you are worthy, valuable or important. Without that outside reassurance the emptiness of who you are as you are may be blurry or nonexistent. You may have dealt with emotional abandonment due to your Mother being physically or emotionally absent in your life. She may have chosen other things, or situations over you which could have caused an internal self belief that you are not lovable, worthy or important. It's important to stay aware of self-undoing behaviors that could cause you more harm than good, especially if you are unaware of any internal wounds you have when it comes to abandonment, self worth, self value or self love.

I won't go too in-depth on how Pluto will manifest with each moon because, in my opinion, all water moons will have similar experiences when dealing with Pluto. But if your Pisces moon aspects Pluto then this might showcase your mother having an extreme behavior when it comes to needing something from the child. The child would either have to place their needs on the back burner by having to save or fix their mothers' wounds. This type of manifestation of the aspect might involve more nuanced or erratic behaviors, such as the mother asking for help or to be saved, then suddenly abandoning the child or leaving without warning. (This is an extreme case; the tighter the orb, the stronger the influence of this aspect).

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Pluto, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

Water Moon Aspecting Saturn:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Saturn; then you may have tendencies to act as a Capricorn moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. This also would be more prominent if you have natal 10th house placements, such as a 10th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

Another theme worth noting is the effect of a water moon aspected by Saturn. This aspect often creates a heightened push-and-pull between feeling emotions deeply and restraining them, which can be overwhelming. Emotions may arise readily within you, yet due to outside influences or early experiences, you may have learned to keep them quiet from a young age. You might have been taught, that crying signifies weakness, or perhaps you received praise for ignoring your emotions and now that pattern or reaction to emotions sits within you. 

If, as a child, you were hurt but, instead of naturally crying, you learned to swallow your pain—and may have even received acknowledgment for doing so—this pattern likely carried into adulthood. This learned approach now shapes how you process emotions, creating a tendency to feel deeply yet keep those feelings hidden, even from yourself. For those with a Scorpio moon, this internal struggle may feel even more pronounced, leading to an even greater tendency to avoid emotions or self-reflection altogether.

In life, you might rely more on logic during arguments and view situations with less empathy than would have if you were a child, you may feel as if focusing on logic is safer or more acceptable than expressing vulnerability. This conditioned tendency may stem from instances when, as a child, you needed comfort that never came. You learned to manage your feelings alone, often in isolation, which now makes it difficult to offer compassion or emotional attunement to others, as you haven’t learned to extend that same compassion to yourself.

In another sense since you have heightened emotions, another way your feelings could manifest is through physical symptoms. You may struggle with OCD tendencies, anxiety or have high reactions to minor situations. This is the only way your body knows how to process the built up pain or emotions you have stored in your body. Physically feeling a symptom often prompts you to act on it which prompts you to self soothe in those moments. But in reality the deep rooted pain within is either still being dismissed or ignored. The one emotion you may only allow yourself to feel is anger, being angry may somehow be the easiest visceral emotion to let out, but behind that anger there is more pain and misunderstanding than you may even be truly aware of (This specific analysis is on the extreme spectrum so if you don't resonate with the intensity of this particular polarity with emotions then disregard).

You may want to give others compassion or empathy but there's this part of your brain that doesn't allow you to do so. You can see others hurting but you can't readily feel their exact emotion within, therefore you may look at the situation as unnecessary. And when you do amount to your heightened emotion the chances of you having an overwhelming amount of feelings is very likely (but this may be more so true for those with a Scorpio moon that aspects Saturn) Overall, you are very sensitive within, you hold more emotion than you readily feel available to acknowledge and you've learned to shun that side of you away; but in one way or another these emotions will come flooding out. You may find yourself highly reactive when you drink alcohol, or you may be more emotional, this is the part of yourself that you more than likely hide or ignore when at wake.

Moreover, a water moon aspecting Saturn often reflects a significant influence from your mother in your life. She may have shared her pain with you in ways that felt overwhelming, while not offering the care, nurturing, or emotional presence you needed. Her emotional needs or turmoil may have often taken center stage, leaving you feeling overlooked or unimportant. She may have had narcissistic tendencies, where she would constantly belittle your pain or hurt and base the fact that she's "hurting" more than you ever could. That alone would cause a great internal struggle within yourself where you would feel like holding onto any emotion promoted more problems, and so you'd rather now ignore anything to do with deep emotion.

Your inner child is now asking for empathy, kindness, and compassion. Give yourself grace and acknowledgment for all the times your emotions were ignored. Deep down, your true self is open, giving, and loving—this is the part of you that wants to be expressed, even if you were never shown that it was allowed to emerge. Now, you have the power to shift your perspective to create a space for emotional fulfillment, and to allow yourself that freedom. But remember you don’t owe anyone anything. If your mother used guilt, pain, or emotional immaturity against you then you have every right to choose what feels best for your relationship with her. However, you do owe yourself the chance to give yourself the kind of care you were never shown.

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Saturn, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

The themes of how your Moon may manifest is also dependent on the house, so if your Moon (especially that aspects Neptune) is in the 7th house, then you may have tendencies to give a lot of time, energy or care with relationships/partnerships. You may feel like you are at your best when you have someone next to you, or you may feel like your identity may rests on "others." You may have a lack of boundaries when it comes to relationships and the part of you that wants to give and give and give is very present and influential with how you operate in relationships. Theres always a part of yourself that is readily available for another, it's more natural for you to give or allow unfair behaviors to occur within your life, especially if you are unaware of your inner emotional wounds.

The way your Sun manifests also depends on the house placement. A Sun on the angles—such as the 1st, 4th, 7th, or 10th house—has a more direct influence on the native. Sun in the 1st house may suggest a father who exhibits selfish behaviors, while Sun in the 10th house suggests a father who prioritizes his work, status, or reputation over the child. He may focus solely on his own needs in relation to work or be physically absent due to other obligations and responsibilities.

Your Sun represents your ego—how you perceive yourself in terms of accomplishments, how you express and present your ideas, and your thoughts. It reflects your confidence and the part of you that directly aligns with what you feel capable of achieving. It's the foundation of how you view yourself, it can dictate whether you struggle with imposter syndrome or feel comfortable stating your mind and desires.

(I won't go too in-depth with how this may manifest since it can be very complexed but if you are interested in learning more when it comes to the Sun let me know in the comments below)

Overall this is all in theory! I wanted to note the possibilities of how natal aspects to the Moon can manifest and if it doesn't resonate or if you don't struggle with the above statements that's okay. This post is more so for those who have emotionally struggled throughout their life, and for those who need to do some reflection and inner healing. As always the entire natal chart will always be a better dictator in how each placement can manifest! 💋

P.S This post is directly about the water moon influence, if you are curious about how these aspects/natal placements would manifest for individuals without having water placements let me know. 💌

[myun-saidthoughts]

8th & 12th House Synastry:

Neptune/12th, and Pluto/8th house synastry will have you sitting on your bed, reminiscing what never was. You can't help but think to yourself and wish things were different, you long for their communication and you feel as if they have something yearning to say to you.

You saw them last night and your expectation wasn't met, the conversation didn't amount to what you had hoped for and now there's this looming feeling sitting inside you. You say to yourself, "..but to me, they feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone." And yet, there’s no solid foundation in your connection to make this feeling truly valid.

"I don't fall in love easily, I don't yearn for touch, I don't think of others, and I don't openly wish for connection, but when it comes to you; I can't help it. You unlock the very being within me when it comes to accepting a love that I unwillingly crave for, you unlock the acceptance of allowing myself to feel at my fullest capacity, and yet there's no tangible string tethering me to you."

"I compare everyone to you. I compare how your eyes whisper to me "it's okay to let go" and I compare the feeling that stays within even when your eyes aren't meeting mine. I don't question my emotions when it comes to you, there's no hesitation within me, and there's no questioning if a part of me wants a part of you."

Even when my feelings lay dormant and some weeks pass, if I run into you I am suddenly back to wishing, and wanting. Your presence brings me this fulfillment within and I dont know to let the part of me that wishes for this fulfillment go.

I want a home. I want to feel peace when I’m with someone, I want to feel serenity when they hold my hand. I want to look into someone's eyes and feel, at last, that I’ve found my person; and this desire is only fulfilled when I look at you. Everyone else makes me afraid of letting go, everyone else fills me with a sense of uneasiness that I can't ignore; and because of that, I’m holding onto someone whose eyes have never promised, "I am yours, and you are mine." 

[myun-saidthoughts]

But once the feeling passes, I question "was this feeling ever real?" When it fades, so does the importance it once held:

What is internal emotional permeance and emotional object constancy? (Disorganized attachment style edition)

Individuals with a disorganized attachment style or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often struggle with these concepts, but in this post, I’ll focus on a different manifestation of these patterns. Instead of seeking constant verbal reassurance or relying on continual acts of love to confirm that someone cares for you, I’m exploring how this dynamic unfolds internally. It's about the emotional barrier between you and your mind—where you can only care about or desire something or someone if that feeling is constant and always present. This habit can influence your emotional responses toward yourself and others; it may even bleed into your way of thinking and how you process emotions, on some days you might even experience moments of despair or hopelessness, but once the intensity of those feelings fades, so does their significance. In those intense moments, nothing else feels real, and no words or actions can alleviate them. But once the feeling subsides, the desire to understand it further also dissipates. This can cause a sense of disconnection from your own emotional experiences, leading you to question their validity or reality. When the emotional intensity drops, there's a difficulty in maintaining a "mental representation" of that feeling. This leaves you with a sense of emptiness or confusion, as if the emotion evaporated or never mattered to begin with. If your emotions can feel so real one moment and vanish the next, it's hard to believe in their authenticity, which feeds into a fear of abandonment. If you can't trust your own feelings, it's natural to worry if what you are feeling is real or true. This uncertainty makes it challenging to desire or pursue romantic connections, even though there's a part of you that longs for them.

When you struggle with this, it's not just about needing reassurance from others-it's about needing reassurance from yourself that your feelings are valid, even when they change.

In essence, it's the inability to feel something unless it completely consumes you. Subconsciously, you don’t allow yourself to want, care, or love another unless the emotion fills every part of your being. You start to question, doubt, and dismiss any thought or feeling once it fades. You may find yourself questioning your authentic feelings toward someone because "you can’t feel it anymore." The overwhelming emotion is no longer occupying your mind or causing that deep sense of longing, leading you to wonder if it ever truly existed.

It's when you meet someone new and don’t feel an instant spark or longing, you may dismiss them altogether. You tell yourself, "He can't be important—there's no immediate desire, so I can never truly want him. If he leaves now, no part of me will care." Instead of letting them in, you list every reason why they won’t fulfill your unspoken needs, and the cycle continues.

Then, when you do find yourself drawn to someone—when they check every irrational box on your list—the feeling suddenly vanishes one day. You ask yourself, "Do I even want him anymore? Why don’t I care as much as I did before? And why does it feel like I’m no longer attracted to him?" Any sense of permanence or consistency with them withers away, leaving you stuck in a state of stagnation and detachment. You think, "These feelings aren’t consuming me anymore, which must mean he was never important. If he were, my emotions would remain constant, and I wouldn’t be questioning my desire for him."

It’s the same when you listen to a song that stirs something deep within you—a hopeless emotion that lingers in the back of your mind. In those moments, all you feel is intensity lurking in the shadows. But once the song ends, so do the emotions it brought.

It’s like sitting on your bed, the weight of the world pressing down on your shoulders. In that moment, you feel nothing but despair, as if there’s no purpose, no meaning, no desire to continue. The heaviness is real, present. But when it eventually passes, as all feelings do, you can’t grasp it again.

You dismiss those feelings, telling yourself, "I feel okay now." The weight is gone, so you question whether you ever truly felt it at all. If an emotion can fade, you convince yourself it was never significant to begin with.

And so, the cycle continues.

You tell yourself that feelings must be constant in order to be real. "I have to always feel this way," you insist, "and if I don’t, then the feelings were never meaningful."

These habits quietly build walls around you, creating emotional barriers that prevent you from desiring someone—or something—deeply again. But allowing emotions to consume you isn’t realistic or healthy. Instead, your mind constructs defenses that hinder your ability to genuinely care, often rooted in past wounds and a lack of self-trust. You find reasons why a person isn’t right for you or downplay your emotions once they start to fade. Yet, this only distances you further from what you truly crave: connection.

At some point, your trust was broken. The love you gave went unrecognized. The safety and care you longed for never arrived. To protect yourself from pain, you’ve learned to see emotions in black and white. If a feeling isn’t always present, you assume it was never real.

Now, without realizing it, you move through life with a mindset designed to keep you "safe." But this self-protection creates a deep internal distance. You long for partnership and security in another’s presence, yet something always seems to stall the connection from forming. You search for a soul who can bring you the ease you’ve never known, yet even when you find someone who offers it, something within you resists. If you don’t recognize these subconscious patterns—the ways you undermine yourself—how can you ever break free?

As humans, we long for love and connection. We seek bonds that provide security, warmth, and belonging. Though certain emotions may seem fleeting, they never truly disappear. Instead, your mind tells you, "It’s time to let this go." But in reality, the feeling doesn’t vanish—it simply fades from conscious awareness. The question remains: how can emotions that once consumed you seem to dissolve so completely? Whether in longing for love or battling internal turmoil, if the feeling came once, it will come again.

This is especially true for those who struggle to find a partner. You seek connections that won’t leave you questioning. You search for eyes that whisper, "You won’t lose feelings for me." This is a self-protection tactic—your body’s way of shielding you from the fear of caring for someone who might ultimately leave. You worry that the person you choose won’t choose you in return. So, you set impossible expectations for yourself, thinking, "If they can meet these standards, then I’ll feel safe choosing them. If they can withstand my emotional shifts, they must be significant."

Accept your desire for connection. Acknowledge that part of you longs to be held. It’s okay to care for someone, even if your feelings fluctuate in the beginning.

Connections are meant to be built—they take time. You can’t expect to instantly know someone, especially if their presence alone is your only reassurance of safety. Trust their actions. Trust your gut. You may crave a love so deep that no one else can recognize it, but the expectation of constant yearning only distances you from those already choosing you. If you question your feelings for someone, acknowledge the emotions, but also examine their roots.

Where is the hesitation coming from? Is it fear? Is it past abandonment? Is it because the person you once chose ended up choosing another? Is it because your mother never loved you the way you needed? Is it because your father withdrew when you needed him most? Is it because your emotional needs were never acknowledged? If so, recognize that those past wounds triggered a defense—a switch inside you that tells you to run before it’s too late.

Healing is not linear, and it won’t happen overnight. The first step is awareness—recognizing that part of you is still operating from fear.

You are not alone, and you are not broken. You can change. Your soul is asking to be seen. Grant yourself the grace and validation you seek; that is where healing begins.

[myun-saidthoughts]

12th House Synastry: The Darker Themes That May Manifest

I made a post about Neptune and 12th house synastry awhile ago (here is the link to that: Understanding 12th house synastry)

In that post, I explained how this synastry can manifest between partners, but I didn't discuss the darker side of it or discuss why those darker themes are present in the first place.

To start off, some of the more common dark themes associated with this synastry include deception, lies, addiction, and hidden agendas. This synastry also can indicate being the other woman in a relationship or one party may have a commitment to another person that the other party isn't aware of (such as one partner is married, engaged, or involved with someone else). If there is 8th house synastry involved (like Pluto aspecting inner planets or 8th house overlays), power dynamics may emerge, with one person holding an authoritative position. Age gaps or factors such as work hierarchies, status, reputation, social circles, or cultural influences may also prevent the two parties from publicly showcasing their relationship.

The reason these dark themes manifest is influenced by many factors, the primary one being the person's core nature. If they are spiritually awakened, aware, compassionate, or empathetic, the themes mentioned above are less likely to arise within the connection. Ultimately, who a person is at their core will dictate how these connections manifest.

I have read many 12th house/Neptune synastry stories, and one major red flag that stands out is what is often 'hidden' within the relationship. While this synastry can evoke profound, otherworldly feelings, there’s a risk that the person you’re pouring your love into may only be a projection of your perception of them. This is tied to how you view yourself, your understanding of love, and your willingness to be vulnerable.

This synastry naturally clouds and confuses the relationship dynamic, if you have natal 12th house placements, Pisces placements or Neptune aspecting your own inner planets then the influence of falling into the web of what you think is, instead of what actually is; is more likely.

For example, the reason you may be drawn to, influenced by, or dealing with these dark themes has to do with the level of commitment or love you're ready to process. You may consciously state that you desire a deep love, but if you look at your past patterns, you might notice that you often fall for the people you claim you want to stay away from. You may say, 'I deserve better,' or recognize that the type of love you're offering is not being reciprocated. While you may be consciously aware of this, you still find yourself in connections that reinforce the image of love you say you want to change.

This has to do with the fact that there are still subconscious self beliefs that are operating within you; these beliefs may be so deeply rooted in your subconscious to the point where you are not even aware of it, and the reason why these dark themes are able to manifest within your life is because the people you are choosing are reiterating the self belief you're "comfortable" with. I say comfortable because it's what feels known within you, this person creates a feeling within you and though they may logically be wrong for you in so many objective manners, the fact that you can feel drawn towards them is what is causing you to want them, especially if you struggle with emotional vulnerability, or if you find it hard to actually form feelings towards another. This person is (in essence) allowing you to form feelings because their presence/actions reaffirm the same self beliefs you've been dealing with throughout your life.

This type of synastry even becomes more nuanced when the 8th house is involved, oftentimes if you are not aware of your own self inner wounds this type or interplay can cause such chaos. This is especially true if you are choosing someone who wants to use you, or if they have their own inner battles that they ignore. In essence to stay aware of the connection at hand:

Look at them at face value instead at the value that you give them.

Stay aware and acknowledge the fact that their own actions and choices act as a true unit that showcases their true feelings towards you.

Understand that even though you're able to understand or empathize with their struggles doesn't mean you should justify their actions.

The feeling you feel with them is already sitting within you; if that wasn't the case you wouldn't be drawn to them in the first place. Therefore that scarce mindset where you may feel like you need them to allow romance in is only a facade that keeps you at a distance of receiving reciprocal love.

This again is an extreme case but I wanted to make a note.

Another thing I want to note is that with this synastry, you might feel an intense draw toward the other person, as if you’ve known them in a past life (because how could someone create such deep longing within you if that wasn't the case?) This might create the connection to be very thought-provoking, and the longing you experience can manifest instantly in moments when you're not with them; this might lead you to believe that you share a deep, once-in-a-lifetime connection. However, the person you are drawn to may actually be a projection of your own desires for emotional fulfillment, especially if they are an objectively lost soul struggling with personal battles such as addiction or ongoing affairs.

The reason why individuals often state that 12th house and Neptune synastry can indicate past life connections is that this type of synastry evokes similar feelings of longing, wishes, and desires. In my experience with both, I understand why people associate Neptune/12th house synastry with past life connections. However, this synastry often creates a sense of longing while leaving more questions than answers.

With past life connections, you may instantly feel a deep longing for someone you’ve just met—their eyes seem familiar, and their touch feels sacred. In contrast, when Neptune and the 12th house are involved, there’s a crucial difference. Instead of a sense of certainty, there’s more wondering, thinking, analyzing, and fixating. You might convince yourself that you know them by creating intense, otherworldly feelings within you.

In genuine past life connections, there’s an unexplainable, intuitive sense that you’ve met before, without needing proof or logical understanding. You feel deeply connected without questioning it. This is a key difference that more people should recognize. If there are more questions than an immediate intuitive knowing, the likelihood of it being a past life connection is much less.

In summary, the main difference with Neptune/12th house synastry vs past life connections is there's a "without a doubt" mentality that you've known them before. The main reason why theres an association with 12th house synastry and past life connections is because this synastry genuinely mimics the same deep rooted feeling of longing or what if scenario's. This synastry causes you to create feelings within where it'll feel like you two have been together before but that doesn't mean these feelings are rooted in the deep seated knowing of "I've met you before" like true past life connections are like.

(which is why it's very difficult to differentiate and I can understand why but within, you will have moments with them and if out of no where you say "this has happened before" or "it's so easy with you" or if 5 hours feel like 10 minutes, then the chances of them being a part of your past life is more likely; and you can feel this way without even having any intense 12th house synastry with them, you don't have to have 12th house synastry with someone to showcase a past life connection).

That said, there can be times when you may be dealing with 12th house or Neptune synastry and you may consider yourself an open or healthy lover, yet still encounter these themes. You might fall for someone who isn't who they appear to be. Stories like 'We have been dating for two years, and he is an addict' or 'I am engaged, but he has another wife' illustrate this. These examples are extreme, but I believe can occur because this synastry can cloud judgment. That's why it's important to evaluate the relationship at its core rather than relying solely on your perceptions.

If you find yourself dealing with these themes or have dealt with them in the past, it's important to recognize that the other partner may not have any real love for you. This is why the 12th house is often associated with 'hidden enemies.' These individuals may not be hiding their true selves, but in your perception, the person they actually are is someone you haven't been able to see. Or in another sense this individual just held and hid parts of them from you, and because of how clouded this synastry can be, falling victim towards these connections is more likely (but like I always say entire natal charts and who the person is at their core dictates the severity of what can occur within these connections).

Another intriguing pattern in this synastry is the tendency to be drawn to darker themes, often finding yourself attracted to someone who seems in need of saving or fixing. The spiritual connection you feel may arise from a deep longing to help them, as their internal struggles compel you to give endlessly. Their internal struggles causes you to give and give which ultimately keeps you at arms distance within the connection. Especially since they can't formally give you the same love you are giving them, and this stems from the fact a part of you doesn't believe you deserve the type of love you fantasize or long for. That being said, the dreams you have about them or with them, and the coincidences that keep occurring could very well be reflections of the emotional fulfillment you desire, and doesn't paint the fact that you two are "meant to be"

This pattern can also be linked to unrequited love. When this occurs, it mirrors what I’ve mentioned before: you find yourself falling for someone you can't truly have. You become infatuated with the person you imagine them to be, rather than who they actually are. You create scenarios in your mind where you’re together, longing for a connection that has never existed. All of these patterns stem from a fear of embracing reciprocal love.

It feels easier to desire someone rather than have them; it's more comfortable to long for the idea of a partner than to actively choose someone who can choose you in return. Such dynamics are more prevalent when you struggle with emotional closeness and vulnerability. Selecting someone whom you subconsciously know won’t or can’t choose you can feel like a safer option.

I explore this concept further in my original 12th house synastry post, so feel free to check that out for more insights.

The main point of this post is to remain aware of your own wounds, self-undoing patterns, and emotional fears regarding romance. The self-giving nature you choose to engage in can create a block to receiving the kind of love you’re capable of giving to others, often stemming from a fear of being in a reciprocal loving relationship. If you stay aware and offer yourself inner healing then the chances of falling in relationships where these dark themes can occur is less likely.

Note: I believe that if you have strong Pisces placements, 12th house natal placements, or Neptune aspecting your inner planets, as well as a broken attachment style or a tumultuous relationship with your mother, you may be more susceptible to experiencing these dark themes in your reality. If you fear love yet simultaneously long for it, these factors can be significant indicators. Conversely, if you do not have these characteristics, the intensity of such themes is less likely.

[myun-saidthoughts]

What 4th House Synastry Feels Like

Everything feels so easy, with them you'll feel somehow secure, somehow safe. You naturally know how to respond to them, a look from them makes you feel comfort, you two share the same humor (with other soft mercury-moon/sun aspects), everything feels like it's already happened before, and with that feeling they unlock a part of you that you're afraid to show others.

When you're next to them, you're no longer worried about how others perceive you, nor are you overthinking the conversations between the two of you. It's different with 8th house synastry because although with the 8th house their touch unlocks that dire need of being emotionally vulnerable towards another, the 4th house unlocks a part of your character that you naturally hide or the part of you that you overthink when you're with strangers.

When they're next to you, nothing can feel bad, you don't fixate on any issues, you can just allow yourself to feel safe, and at ease. They bring you a sense of security you didn't know was possible, you want to hold onto them, be next to them, and you can't help but smile, can't help but be open, optimistic, and can't help but be unafraid to take on any task you can ever think of (especially if there are more Jupiter synastry aspects between you two).

Any anxiety somehow vanishes, you're not worried, you can't feel worry, you're not second guessing anything, and you don't have these wavering thoughts, and there's no what ifs, you're in the moment, you feel present, and nothing else matters. You allow yourself to feel at home within because they bring you this sense of comfortability that you've never felt before.

They become this key with unlocking the side of your personality that you hide towards anyone else that you don't share a close connection too.

As for someone with a Scorpio Moon/active 12th House, this feels new for me. Comfortability and serene feelings are both things I search for. I genuinely don't show anyone my true feelings or thoughts, I always wear a mask with everyone I meet. So with that, I want to feel calm, and safe, so because of that I believe that what's this synastry is hitting in me, but if you don't have a disorganized attachment style (or maybe even Scorpio placements) like me, the feelings within might be different.

[myun-saidthoughts]

4th/8th/12th House Synastry Feels Like...

Pluto and 8th house synastry feels like a powerful drug, when they are around a sense of fulfillment within starts to overflow; the more you crave self love the more influential their touch will be. In their presence you'll feel this high, and when they leave, a profound low follows. The cycle repeats as you continuously chase that initial euphoria sparked by their gaze. No matter how intense the lows become, if the love for yourself is lower than the desire to be loved, a part of you will always want them.

Moon and 4th house (IC) synastry feels like holding your childhood stuffed animal or blanket—instantly comforting and reassuring. It feels like whenever you hold this familiar item, a sense of ease and comfort washes over you. Their presence creates an unexpected confidence within, and the parts of yourself that usually stay hidden suddenly come alive, as your need for security is finally fulfilled.

Neptune and 12th house synastry feels like lying on the grass, staring into the endless sky—it's the sensation and desire of imagining every possible scenario with the one person you can't let go of, it's getting lost and fully immersed in the moment, with no other priorities or thoughts intruding. It's the feeling of an inexplicable knowing, without tangible reasons or words. It’s like watching a sunset, mesmerized by the unfolding colors, not knowing which hues will appear next, yet still feeling deeply drawn and lost in the beauty of it all.

[myun-saidthoughts]

8th/12th House + Neptunian Synastry Experience:

I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling when a song starts to play, and without effort, an imagined moment between you and me unfolds in my mind, along with the feeling that the story I'm envisioning has already happened.

I begin to imagine your eyes meeting mine, and a wave of bliss starts to overflow within. In this imagined moment, I start to feel as if I were once yours and you were once mine, and now I'm longing for something I never held onto.

I start to feel as if in this moment I have held your hand in the past, and in my mind I don't want to let this false memory go.

I start to imagine us walking into a bar together, my fingers intertwined with yours and as we enter, I glance over at you, and everyone around us can see my inner emotions reflected in my eyes; when you're around my eyes silently scream that with you, I feel safe, seen, and accepted.

Everyone around us can see my posture open, and my smile widen, they see that not only do I choose you, but my whole being does too.

Do I mean more to you? Do you think of me as I think of you? Do you long for me as I long for you? Do your glances whisper the truths you’re too afraid to say? Do you ever wonder about the what-ifs and what could be's? Do you notice my eyes reaching out for yours? Do your lingering glances reflect a story you're too afraid to acknowledge? Do you dream of me when I dream of you?

Why does my mind create these imagined scenarios, why do I feel like there's a part of you who longs for me, why do I wish for moments that aren’t real, why do I feel like your eyes tell me a story that you are too afraid to accept, why does it feel like we have said goodbye before, why do I feel like there's more to us than what's been said, and why do I still wish for you?

Synastry Aspects:

My Moon is in his 12th house.

His Neptune tightly squares my Moon.

His Moon and Venus are in my 8th house, and those planets make multiple aspects to my inner planets.

His South Node conjuncts my Mercury and Ascendant.

His Neptune conjuncts my South Node.

My Natal Aspects:

I have a 12th house Venus, Mercury, Pluto, Chiron and Lilith.

My Moon tightly squares my Neptune.

My Venus sextiles my Neptune.