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cameoamalthea · 5 years ago

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So About the Traveler: Critical Role C2E103

“How can I be cruel? That is for mortals.” But then she did raise her eyes, and they were great with sorrow, and with something very near to mockery. She said, “So is kindness.” - Peter S Beagle “The Last Unicorn”.

In lore and media, including Dungeons and Dragons, immortal beings whether called “immortals” or “fey” are not bound by the same sense of morality as mortals. Indeed, some interpretations posit they lack the same capacity to feel the same emotions as mortals do. These beings are by their very nature different and alien.

The Archfey is an immortal. They are ancient and yet, ever young. A contradiction. They cannot lie and are bound by any promise they make, but are very good at wording things carefully or withholding what they’d rather not say. They are not to be trusted. They are not safe. They can be good, and Artagan falls squarely on the good side for a fey.

The key words being “for a fey”.

Fey generally lack empathy, which makes sense for the short lives of mortals are nothing compared to their eternal existence. They can be killed, but they do not simply end and pass away the way mortal things do. So there is a question as to how much a fey can value mortal lives at all.

Still, Artagan makes it clear he does not want to hurt his followers. He rejects killing them when Jester brings it up. He sees leaving them to join the Island cult where they will be happy as a viable solution for the ones he dislikes. Which is actually fairly merciful considering fey do not value mortals in general and can easily destroy the lives of any who offend them. That does not make it ok by normal ethical standards, but it is important to realize that it is his nature not to have normal ethical standards.

Artagan seems to be primarily motivated by doing whatever amuses him. Trick a bunch elves into worshiping a dead whale because it’s funny? Sure. Respond to someone claiming they can’t die by requesting to kill them just to see what happens and see what it’s like, just for the heck of it. It is likely he has never cared about anything other than his own self-interest and personal enjoyment. He has certainly never cared for a mortal.

Yet, he cares for Jester but cannot understand what she cares about.

He sees she is crying and does not like that, but doesn’t understand why she’s scared.

He does not understand why asking her to lead a lot of people to a place that is home to a dangerous monster that will erase their memories and turn them into willing slaves would upset her.

He understands when she expresses fear for herself; because he understands that. And he is quick to assure her that he wasn’t going to give her to the monster. And again, fey cannot lie. Artagan does value Jester but does not value mortals in general.

For Jester the question is ‘how do I know you wouldn’t do that to me’

Whereas to Artagan it’s as obvious as how can someone keep animals as pets and still eat meat.

One is cute

One is food

It’s not a question that you could truly love your pet chicken and also love some BBQ wings. The same animal, but one is valued.

Jester is valued, and there is a question as to whether a fey can value a mortal as more than a human might value a pet or what if any capacity fey have to love anyone. That said, he is genuine in his affection for her. He did not intend to hurt her (he still did - he absolutely did) and honestly did not mean to put her through any heartache.

Some would describe this behavior as “creepy” or even as “gaslighting”. (And if this narrative is triggering because the character’s actions remind you of an abuser that is 100% valid. This essay is exploring only the actions of this character in the context of analyzing the fictional portrayal of an imaginary magical being).

While creepy is subjective I do not believe he is malicious so much as heartless (another quality of fey). He does not understand caring about other people so he honestly could not foresee that the fact he would do this would feel like a betrayal to Jester. He does not have the empathy to understand why he has hurt her and instead tries to explain his perspective honestly and assure her that she is safe (which she is safe with him, at least insofar as he will not intentionally hurt her - the problem is this dumbass doesn’t understand how he’s hurting her).

So while I understand the impulse to say “He made Jester cry KILL HIM”.

He is not lying when he never intended to leave her on the island or when he assured her that she is his favorite person. He also freely makes a promise to her, which is binding and not something a fey would give lightly.

So now- Now he cannot ever leave her. He will keep her safe and her friends safe. That’s a big deal. And there’s nothing in it for him aside from her happiness. He paints the moon itself to make her smile.

He is a powerful, alien, chaotic neutral fey and he adores Jester.

The question is then will Jester love him after this. Will she be able to have a close relationship with him now that she understands his lack of empathy. Even when he is sorry all he can say is he’s sorry she feels hurt (because he doesn’t want her hurt) but he cannot truly apologize and take responsibility for hurting her. (I’m sorry you feel hurt vs I’m sorry I hurt you).

He can’t take responsibility for anything. He is carefree and free from the ability to care. Mortals care, mortals can love and regret. They can understand hurting someone else and take responsibility for that rather than focusing on the consequences that relate to their own feelings (I don’t like that you feel hurt because I care, so I am sorry for that).

Note: In real life, in humans, we call this behavior toxic. To focus on yourself and not emphasize with others and your impact on them is harmful.

And Jester grew up with Artagan. He is not a “child groomer” as some have accused. He was a child with her. However, once she became an adult he dropped the polymorph and became a fey again. Jester grew up. Artagan can’t grow up, because he’s a fey. He is still and will forever be as selfish and unthinking as a child.

Jester isn’t anymore and she may outgrow Artagan unless his affection for her can make him grow as a person. However, Jester is not at the point where she is able to call him out or push him to change. She is understanding ‘I know you wanted to get rid of followers’ she doesn’t want to judge. When he complains about the headache of dealing with ships she joked about some of them dying.

However, the Traveler does not join on that joke. He doesn’t want them to die. He has learned to enjoy doing good and to care somewhat for people in general - which is notable given that he is a fey and caring isn’t in his nature.

Jester has made him a better person. He did grow up with her for a time. He was mortal with her then and grew and, I think, learned to feel love for her. To be her best friend.

But he has a long way to go to be a good friend; if he can even get there. Either way, it will be an interesting story to watch play out. An interesting dynamic. An interesting take on a fey that Matt has done a wonderful job writing as truly inhuman.

Footnote:

1) For further reading on the nature of fey/magical creatures, please see this post on “The Last Unicorn”

2) Why are these chickens so cute you guys???

#Artagan #jester lavorre #critical role #Critical role spoilers #essays #fey #fairies

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 5 years ago

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Final paper

Representation of queer women in the television show Glee

For Naya Rivera

Introduction

Representation of queer people has gotten better in the last few years, in both quantitative and qualitative ways. Yet, there is often still a discrepancy between the representation of queer women and the experiences actual queer women. It still happens that queer women are overly sexualised, lack depth or that they are marketed towards men as fanservice through the usage of the male gaze (Smith, 2018). The main reason for all of this is that queer women in mainstream media are often created by men.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary (n.d.), queer is defined as “of, relating to, or being a person whose sexual orientation is not heterosexual and/or whose gender identity is not cisgender”, but in this paper, we will only focus on portrayal of female sexuality of queer women. For this paper, I will look at the agency of queer female characters in the television show Glee. With agency I am referring to the subject being able to act in a certain narrative (McAdams & McLean, 2013). I will try to figure out how the audience reacts towards the portrayal of queer women in Glee.

There are two reasons why I chose the television show Glee. First, despite its many flaws, it is my favourite show. Second, Glee has always been a frontrunner when it comes with queer representation. Glee has a total of 23 canon queer characters (Glee Wiki, n.d.). Three of them are women in the main cast: Santana Lopez (lesbian), Brittany Pierce (bisexual) and Unique Adams (transgender). As stated above, we’re only looking at the sexuality aspect, so Unique will be left out of the analysis. Through a close reading of the series’ portrayal of its characters, I ask this question: “How does Glee allow an enjoyable queer viewing experience?”

Theoretical background

The representation of sexuality has become more prominent in television in the last few years (Kidd, 2014; GLAAD 2005/2020), but it is still portrayed in a heteronormative way to show that heterosexuality is the norm (Avila-Saavedra, 2009). Since women are also still underrepresented and often badly represented, it is interesting to look at queer women in general (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016).

Queer women are often represented in function of male fantasies and they are often sexualized and can normally be described as conventionally attractive (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016). This is due to the male gaze. Mulvey (1989) describes the male gaze as an act of depicting women and the world heterosexual view that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the male viewer. Mulvey writes that the women displayed have two roles: one as an erotic object within the story and one as an erotic object for the audience. There’s a third component that places women as an erotic object for the men behind the camera.

But Mulvey writes from a heterosexual perspective and that does not always capture the experiences of queer viewers (Gokcem, 2012). It is argued that the “gay gaze” (man to man or woman to woman) is more about understanding that there’s a homosexual act on screen and acknowledging that act (Snider, 2008; Gokcem, 2012). It’s less about the sex appeal or objectification of the characters. Evans & Gamman (1995) even claim that there’s no such thing as a “lesbian gaze” when it comes to good lesbian representation, but that it’s more about lesbian imagery that is created by lesbian filmmakers for lesbian consumption. To them, subcultural codes are the reason that even objectifying imagery of women is still different than the ones in the male gaze.

Subcultural styles can be seen as coded transposed into the specific context of youth (Murdock & McCron, 1976). Murdock & McCron speak about class differences, but this view of subculture can also be applied to the queer community. Huq (2006) says that the term subculture carries implications of the oppositional and unofficial. Both writings speak about youth, and not all queer people are young, but when it comes to media, youth can find solace in specific subcultural media.

Within media, agency is important. Agency can be defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices (Barker, 2012). In narrative theory, this means the degree in which a protagonist is able to affect change in their own lives or influence others in their environment (McAdams & McLean, 2013).

Glee’s background

When it comes to the quantity of representation, Glee has always been a frontrunner (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014). It has shown a wide variety of serious topics in the show. Glee has characters of different ethnicities, gender identities, sexualities and economic classes. Glee also has characters in a wheelchair, it has characters with down syndrome, and it has characters with mental health problems.

Unfortunately, the quality aspect of representation in Glee is less than ideal. There is racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and a strive to be well-abled and neurotypical. I am not talking about what happens within the show (as in, characters facing hatred from other characters), but by the way the show is written by its creators. Artie, the character in a wheelchair, constantly wishes that he could walk and he’s seen dancing in several dream sequences[1]. Queer characters could only kiss in “special episodes”, while their straight friends could make out anytime and everywhere[2]. A male character speaking out for himself is portrayed as heroic, strong and inspirational, while a female character speaking out for herself is portrayed as annoying, complaining and bossy[3]. Glee also portrayed heteronormativity by presenting its queer characters mostly as suffering while aspiring to fit in a heteronormative worldview, but also as happy and self-confident (Dhaenens, 2013).

An explanation for these underlying microaggressions can be ascribed to the fact that most people on the creative team of Glee were straight white men and when a woman did write a script, produce or direct, they were always working together with straight white men. Same goes for people of colour working in the Glee crew. They also had less episodes to work on (IMDb, n.d.). As a result, Glee often reflects a male heteronormative worldview.

Methodology

For this paper, I will take a closer look at Glee and its queer female characters. I will describe the three queer female characters and I will give some background. While describing the stories, I will look at how much the characters were allowed to exist with agency. Apart from that, I will also talk about certain fan reception towards storylines about the sexuality of these women and how they were allowed to express their sexualities.

I do have to point out that a lot of discussion is from archival material, since these storylines all happened in 2012 and 2013. I have spent time tracking down old blog posts and articles written by fans, but many have been lost due to domain changes or due to the deactivation/changes of blogs. I am aware that it is a huge methodological fault to purely rely on my memories, but Glee has ended years ago and people who once actively participated in discussions surrounding these characters have moved on. The posts that I have found were either difficult to find or they’re recent and written after the show. Not all posts are in-depth analyses. Sometimes they’re memes, but they still express the opinions of fans.

Analysis of Glee

I will split this section in 3 parts. Each part is about a certain character.

Santana Lopez

Santana Lopez got introduced in season 1 episode 1 “Pilot” as a background character. During the first season, she was portrayed as a girl who had sex with every guy in school and she actively sought out this sexual attention. In season 2, things started to change for Santana when it comes to her sexuality. In season 2 episode 4 “Duets”, Brittany and Santana are seen making out for the first time. At first, it wasn’t supposed to be a real storyline, but Naya Rivera, who played Santana, advocated for this relationship to become real and not a throw-away thing (NayaMitchell, 2011).

This changed Santana’s character from a heterosexual man-hunter to a deeply closeted lesbian. Her relationships with men became a way for her to hide her sexuality and Santana had to deal with a lot of internalised homophobia. This followed her all throughout season 2. This change was seen as abrupt by certain people and as a result, some people felt like they couldn’t get emotionally invested in the relationship. Others were happy to see female sexuality become a topic, since beforehand, Glee mostly focused on male sexuality (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014).

Season 3 showed Santana’s sexuality developing. In season 3 episode 4 “Pot O’ Gold”, Brittany and Santana decided to date, but Santana wanted to hide the relationship. Unfortunately for her, she got outed by Finn Hudson in season 3 episode 6 “Mash-Off”. The episode afterwards, “I Kissed A Girl”, dealt with the repercussions of the outing, but this episode was heavily scrutinised by fans and critics and even after the show ended, fans discussed how badly it was done (see Appendix for screenshots).

The episode tried to make Finn look like a hero by outing her and Santana even thanked him for it. Santana also sung the Katy Perry song I Kissed A Girl, which is a song that treats women kissing other women as a joke and a party activity for drunk straight women. Santana sung that song with a straight character named Rachel Berry, who appropriately sings the lyrics “I hope my boyfriend won’t mind it!”. Brittany barely spoke in this episode and Santana’s coming out to her parents got brushed off easily as something irrelevant that happened off-screen. A scene of Santana standing up for herself towards the other cheerleaders got cut and was only released after the end of the season (MrRPMurphyExclusive, 2012). Overall, Santana became a background character in her own coming out story, so that the narrative could focus on the straight boy who outed her (lesbianstana, 2018).

There is only one scene in the entire episode that focused on Santana, which is the heart wrenching scene where she comes out to her Abuelita. This scene is the only one where Santana gets to express her emotions to what has happened to her and this part is often regarded by fans as the only good part of the episode. There is a big reason why this scene stands out: it is written by a queer woman named Ali Adler, whereas the rest of the episode was written by a man named Michael Hodgson. Ali has written more media about queer women and she puts the narrative on them and their story. This scene focuses on Santana expressing and overcoming her struggles and not on Finn being the hero.

After this episode, Santana completely embraced her identity. For the remainder of the show, Santana was open about being a lesbian and she had relations with four other women and she ends up with Brittany. Santana’s confidence has helped a lot of young women feel comfortable with themselves, since it showed them that there is nothing wrong with liking other women. Her relationship with Brittany gave people hope (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014). This is especially true for women of colour, since not only did Glee show a confident lesbian, but also a confident lesbian of colour. Naya Rivera was aware of how Santana’s journey has impacted people and she said that she’s very proud of it (NayaMitchell, 2011).

Brittany S. Pierce

Brittany got introduced in season 1 episode 2 “Showmance” as a background character. She is also the dumb blonde with a lot of funny one-liners. Brittany is bisexual, but as a viewer, you never see or hear anything about her discovering her sexuality and coming out. She is the only of the 4 main queer character who does not have a storyline about sexuality and the struggles of coming out. Just like Santana, Brittany’s portrayed was very sexual in season 1, but she also mentions attraction towards women easily. This can be interpreted as a portrayal of a woman who’s very accepting of her own bisexuality, but it can also be interpreted as a thrown-away joke. It looks like Brittany’s comments about women are there to spark laughter.

In season 2, her attractions towards Artie, a boy, and Santana, a girl, becomes more fleshed out. In season 2 episode 18 “Born This Way”, she says that she thinks that she might be “bi-curious”. The word “bisexual” was barely used in the show and when it did, it was done in a very negative way[4]. Brittany referred to herself as “bi-curious” “a bicorn” (instead of a unicorn) and “bilingual” (not knowing what it actually meant)[5]. There is never a big revelation. The other characters in the show just know at one point that Brittany is bisexual.

After Brittany and Santana break up in season 4 episode 4 “The Break-Up”, Brittany falls in love with a boy named Sam. This relationship was not very well-received by Brittana (Brittany and Santana) fans and it felt like they were made fun of in season 4 episode 9 “Swan Song”, when Brittany talks to Sam that she does not want to date him to prevent a group of angry lesbian bloggers to hate Sam and turn violent. This felt very invalidating towards the feelings of queer women who found strength in the Brittana relationship (see Appendix for screenshots).

This relationship led to some debate within the fan community about Glee’s representation of bisexuality. Another problem of the Bram (Brittany and Sam) vs. Brittana debate was the fact that Brittany was suddenly allowed to express her attraction towards Sam way more than to Santana. The Glee Equality Project (2012) made a chart of how Brittany was allowed to kiss boys within the first episode of dating them, or even before dating them, but Brittany and Santana only kissed after 9 episodes of dating and after a fan campaign advocated for a kiss. Glee showed a big double standard in Brittany’s bisexuality and this led to anger (see Appendix for screenshots).

As written above, Brittany and Santana end up together in the end. Even though Brittany was not seen struggling, it was meaningful to have a happy ending for her. Heather Morris, who played Brittany, talked about the impact after the show’s end and how the Brittana relationship eventually helped people (FlyingHippopotamiSpy, 2015). Just like with Santana, watching Brittany be confident and comfortable helped young women realise that there’s nothing wrong with liking girls, or liking girls and boys. Brittany’s happiness showed that her sexuality did not prevent her from having a happy ending, which impacted viewers.

Bonus: Quinn Fabray

Quinn Fabray was introduced in season 1 episode 1 “Pilot” as a main character. Quinn is straight. Fans disagreed. Many people noticed that there was chemistry between Quinn and Rachel and people started liking them as a couple. Faberry (Quinn and Rachel) was one of the most popular couples in the show even though the characters were straight in the text of the show. That is due to the fan reception and fan work surrounding Faberry. As of July 2020, Faberry is still the 3rd most popular couple on the fansite AO3 (Shipping, n.d.). Fans often advocated for the characters to at least not be straight and Dianna Agron famously said: “Quinn could always go gay” (breakmelove, 2011).

During the show, there were little scenes[6] and pieces of dialogue[7] that indicated to Quinn not being straight, so that is why people latched more onto Quinn and not onto Rachel. That is why I’m only writing about Quinn in this paper. People believed that Quinn was heavily queer-coded. Queer-coding is “to be implicated as having or displaying stereotypes and behaviours that are associated (even if inaccurate) with homosexuality or queerness” (Kim, 2007, p. 157). It is often seen in a negative light, but more recently, queer-coding is also used to find positive subcultural codes in a text. That is what happened with Quinn.

In season 4 episode 14 “I Do”, Quinn gets drunk with Santana and the two of them have sex. When this got announced, fans were interested, since it seemed like they were finally going to acknowledge fans’ interpretation of Quinn. Yet, in the episode, it became clear that Quinn sleeping with Santana wasn’t out of attraction towards women, but more for experimentation. This led to disappointment and it also happens a lot that relationships between women are portrayed as not serious. This “heteroflexible” depiction makes women loving other women seem ‘bad’ and ‘guilty’ and ‘naughty’, basically like it’s a sneaky party trick to put more focus on the hot lesbian outcome (Jackson, & Gilbertson, 2009).

People also felt betrayed by the show. They felt like they’d been queerbaited, since the support for Quinn not being straight was already very apparent by this time. Queerbaiting is “a tactic whereby media producers suggest homoerotic subtext between characters in popular television that is never intended to be actualised on screen” (Brennan, 2018, p. 189). This has a negative connotation, since it feels like people are being lured in by false promises. Despite the negativity, there was also some positive news from women who liked to see it and found it enticing (Hogan, 2013) and still saw it as a sign that Quinn is not straight, despite her saying that this was just a one-time experiment. To this day, people still don’t believe that Quinn is straight (see Appendix for screenshots).

Discussion and conclusion

To answer the question “How does Glee allow an enjoyable queer viewing experience?”, I looked at the show and fan reception. The answer is that Glee allowed an enjoyable queer viewing experience when the characters had agency and happiness. The happiness led to a feeling of acceptance and belongingness for the viewers.

The stories surrounding the queer women in Glee have ups and downs. The flaws in the representation can be attributed to the fact that queer women weren’t a prominent part of the Glee crew. Yet, both Brittany and Santana have a happy ending: they’re alive, in love, and married. Fans seemed to enjoy the storylines when the characters have agency. When that agency gets removed (Santana’s outing not being about her, Brittany not being able to express her bisexuality without double standards), the storylines are not as well-received, since fans want to see the characters succeeding within the context and narrative of the show. Fans actively root for their happiness.

An interesting finding is that not many fans reacted towards the fact that Brittana consists of two hot femme cheerleaders. This wasn’t expected, since a lot of writing on bad representation revolves around the focus on the male gaze. This unexpected finding can be due to the fact that the relationship was treated fairly and not as a joke. Brittana did start out as two hot girls making out for fun, but it grew into a developed relationship. Another explanation might be in the faulty methodology: maybe I just never saw existing criticism and I didn’t have the time to ask people about it.

The representation of these characters have helped people and they also found a community, so the idea that subcultural media is correct. After all, fan’s interpretation of Quinn can show that subcultural codes are seen in media. Finding those codes also impact queer viewing of Glee. Even though it wasn’t always perfect, the characters have had a positive impact on representation for queer women. Especially for young people, Brittany and Santana were some of the first representation of teen female characters on mainstream television.

Afterword: in memory of Naya Rivera

This is not part of the paper, so you do not have to grade this and I don’t see it as part of the word count. This is just information that I think is important to share. Naya Rivera, the actress who played Santana, died on July 8th 2020 in Lake Piru in California. She was 33 years old. She drowned while saving her son’s life and her body was found on July 13th 2020. I am very sad about this news and I found it kind of hard to write this paper afterwards. I don’t believe in the afterlife or the whole “this person is looking down on you” stuff, but this was written in her memory and I hope I made her proud with this paper about her influence.

Even though it has been five years since Glee ended, many fans are very shocked and upset by this news. People, including celebrities who grew up with Glee, have shared stories of how much Santana meant to them and how Naya’s portrayal made them feel okay with themselves. Loads of (former) fans have expressed how much Santana’s portrayal has helped them with acceptance. Santana was not a perfect character, but she was a milestone for representation. Naya was not a perfect person, but she will forever be remembered for how much her sheer determination to handle Santana’s storyline respectfully has helped young women everywhere.

Naya Marie Rivera

* January 12th 1987 - † July 8th 2020

Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's all right I know it's right

~ Songbird Glee version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJUgLEtA-74

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breakmelove (2011, October 9). Dianna Agron Always Go Gay Same as Quinn Fabrey [video]. YouTube, Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bTmdLfpjvo

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The Glee Equality Project (2012, December 6). Reaction post 409 “Swan Song” [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glee-equality-project.tumblr.com/post/37381267319/reaction-post-409-swan-song-in-this-episode

Appendix

Santana’s outing

keepholdingontoachele (2011). Just noticed the “Here’s what you missed on Glee” voiceover saying that. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://keepholdingontoachele.tumblr.com/post/13547911507/just-noticed-the-heres-what-you-missed-on-glee

justanarchiveinabigklainefandom (2011). Santana coming out. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justanarchiveinabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/13783395882/nayasexual-tenacitysuperbrains-it-wasnt-a

thelesbianladydi (2017, May 28). It has been 2008 days since…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://thelesbianladydi.tumblr.com/post/161161858089/it-has-been-2008-days-since-santana-lopez-was

(see link for the full 9 reasons that led to this summary)

Brittany’s bisexuality

proudlyunicorn (2012, December 6). Brittany and Bisexual Representation: A Gleenalysis. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://proudlyunicorn.tumblr.com/post/37353682285/brittany-and-bisexual-representation-a

glowinthedarkparades (2012, December 6). Can someone please explain…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glowinthedarkparades.tumblr.com/post/37318713323/hummelsmytheanderson-can-someone-please

glowinthedarkparades (2012, December 5). Why is the Brittana fandom going apeshit? What’s happened? [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glowinthedarkparades.tumblr.com/post/37292738950/why-is-the-brittana-fandom-going-apeshit-whats

iheartbrittana (2012). “… All the dreams …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://iheartbrittana.tumblr.com/post/37241910228/all-the-dreams-we-had-for-brittana-as-a-couple

gleerant (2012). Bram, Brittana, and issues of visibility. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://gleerant.tumblr.com/post/36943266496/bram-brittana-and-issues-of-visibility

(full post is too long to screenshot)

Quinn’s queercoding/queerbaiting

diannaaagron (2020, July 5). The world if glee writers made quinn fabray a lesbian. [meme]. Retrieved from https://diannaaagron.tumblr.com/post/622846421520023552

blaineanderdumbass (2020, June 9). Can you believe quinn…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://blaineanderdumbass.tumblr.com/post/620457887277498368/can-u-believe-quinn-was-meant-to-be-str-i

justasmallbloginabigklainefandom (2020). Me, in 2020: …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justasmallbloginabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/617643961118507008/me-in-2020-anyway-lucy-quinn-fabray-was-not

justasmallbloginabigklainefandom (2020). Quinn fabray: *exists* …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justasmallbloginabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/617643867261550592/quinn-fabray-exists-me-there-is-no

inimitabler (2018, Feb 3). You know what bothers me the most about faberry?. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://inimitabler.tumblr.com/post/170475507292/you-know-what-bothers-me-the-most-about-faberry

diannaagrn (2020). #it’s her she’s gay. [Tumblr photoset]. Retrieved from https://diannaagrn.tumblr.com/post/614675450454736896/its-her-shes-gay

Footnotes

[1] 1x19 “Dream On”; 2x10 “A Very Glee Christmas”; 3x11 “Michael”, 4x10 “Glee, Actually”; 6x06 “What The World Needs Now”. Kevin McHale, the actor who plays Artie, is abled and a trained dancer. The role for Artie was not written as a wheelchair using character.

[2] 2x16 “Original Song”; 3x05 “The First Time”; 3x13 “Heart”

[3] Too many episodes to source.

[4] 2x14 “Blame It On The Alcohol”; 5x02 “Tina In The Sky With Diamonds”

[5] 2x18 “Born This Way”; 3x02 “I Am Unicorn”; 3x12 “The Spanish Teacher”

[6] 1x15 “The Power of Madonna”, 3x14 “On My Way”, 3x15 “Big Brother”

[7] 3x13 “Heart”, 3x14 “On My Way”

#lb 2020 #lb uni #yea man it is the whole thing

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sakura-blossom28 · 5 years ago

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Modern Day Romance

Chapter 2

Here’s chapter 2! I love Gaara, he’s my favorite character so this was really fun to write! Sorry his history is a little long I tried to make it as close to what it really was with it being modern au! Let me know what you think!! Don’t own Naruto!

Ch 1 /

Dating had not come easily for Gaara. He was always alone, aloof, and reserved in showing any emotions. Well, that’s how he used to be. His upbringing had been a real struggle for his family. When his mother passed away during his birth, it put a real strain on the family. Instead of coming together with his father and siblings, they slowly drifted apart. Being shut out by his own family lead Gaara down a dark and violent path. With no supervision and access to their family’s wealth from a famous fashion magazine, Gaara was able to fuel early addictions that his young body could not tolerate.

Gambling had started his descent into his spiral out of control. By the time he was ten Gaara had started placing bets on games and dice in back allies behind the liquor stores in town, but the thrill of winning wasn’t enough. Eventually, he found his way to street fights. He was good of course from constantly fighting for years, but one night he bit off more than he could chew. The pain was unbearable, but that fight, in particular, had knocked Gaara’s brain around so much that something finally clicked. He needed to stop all of this, drinking, drugs, fighting. It all needed to stop.

Only at the sight of his siblings surrounding him with tears in their eyes did it all come together for him. All the times that he thought they didn’t care about him, didn’t he notice the concerned looks in their eyes? When he came home late at night, wasn’t there always some food and pain medicine left at the kitchen table? Seeing his brother and sister in such a state over him made him realize that he had acted cruelly towards them. They were scared of their own brother and he wanted to change that, but how?

He looked over to his father and did not see any emotions of caring in his eyes. More embarrassment at the situation. Maybe some relationships couldn’t change, but as long as Gaara could have his siblings that would be enough for him. He had no desire to attempt to change his relationship with his father, but it might be easier to deal with him if Temari and Kankuro started to like Gaara more.

“You’ve done enough to sully the family name. You will be sent away to learn how to behave like a proper human being. No discussions, you’re leaving as soon as you’re discharged,” his father said in a stern voice. They locked eyes to see who would drop first in a struggle for dominance. Gaara was the first, but he only closed his eyes.

“Yes. I will agree to that,” Gaara said quietly while keeping his eyes closed. His father turned to walk out of the room, but when he heard Gaara’s voice again he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Thank you… Father,” Gaara had not addressed his father with any form of a name since he was about six. Hearing those words shocked Gaara’s father to his core. The room went totally silent with everyone else holding their breath. Their father relaxed his shoulders and said, “Temari, find a suitable program… for your brother,” and he left without looking back at them. That was the first time that Gaara had been acknowledged as part of the family by their father. Yes, this was a change that Gaara needed…

Years later Gaara finished his rehabilitation with the help of his siblings. They had found a wonderful program that focused on violent behaviors and also allowed Gaara to go to school and earn a high school degree. It was a school located out in the desert and it helped Gaara connect to himself and others in the program. He was able to write letters to his siblings and that’s how they repaired their broken relationships and learned to care for each other again. Not only was the staff educated on how to help Gaara emotionally, but they also taught him better ways to channel his anger.

After graduating Gaara returned home. He had picked up the knack of gardening and especially enjoyed cacti. It helped him remember everything he learned. He also took up material arts which was offered at the school. Gaara was not surprisingly good at his new hobby, but he also made his first friend. On the first day of lessons, Gaara had knocked Lee, the teacher’s assistant, around a bit too much, he had so much frustration built up that he lost control. Gaara was so distraught about the whole situation he visited Lee in the hospital. He expected to be run out by the teacher, but when he walked in Guy and Lee all smiled at Gaara. He was so confused, but it felt so nice to be smiled at that Gaara stayed and got to know Lee. On their way out of the hospital, Guy had said something that Gaara would never forget.

“If you hadn’t come and visited Lee to make sure he was okay I would have kicked you off the team and reported back to the school that you might be unable to change, but the fact that you did speaks volumes. You have a willingness to be a good person. Keep working on yourself, listen to your teachers and people will accept you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end when you are surrounded by people who truly love you,” Gui patted him on the shoulder, flashed him a toothy grin and thumbs up and ran off down the block. Gaara hadn’t had any form of affection in years and he craved more.

Being on a dating app was not Gaara’s idea of fun. He barely kept up with his own personal social media accounts, except for his secret page about his small garden. Temari and Kankuro had created the profile for him. Kankuro was a photographer for their father’s magazine and Temari was a designer for the label as well. Most of his pictures on the profile were taken by Kankuro. He often posed for his brother because he enjoyed spending time with his family, even though they all started fighting as the session dragged on. No one could take charge. Their father had every attention to give the company to Gaara after he earned his degree, but Gaara knew that was not the life he wanted to live.

When he walked into his father’s office when he was eighteen, walking tall and had an air of confidence about him, his father was shocked at the man before him. Gaara was calm and spoke from his heart about how he had no intention of taking over the company, but wanted to go to school to become a therapist to help people that were like him. And that’s exactly what he did. His father saw that there would be no changing his mind, and he didn’t have the strength to argue anyway with the shock still rattling his brain that Gaara was this new person.

So here Gaara was sitting in his apartment looking at different girls in his area. Life was going well and Temari felt it was time he finally found a nice girl to pull the stick out of his butt. Gaara had never had a serious girlfriend before. Only casual flings, but they never heald his attention for very long. They normally weren’t a fan of his uncaring facade. Secretly, he was still worried about being rejected like he was with his family so many years ago. Was he willing to trust someone with such intimate feelings to have them leave if they didn’t like what they saw in him? He was only overthinking everything because of his job. Sure he helped people with addiction, but they also had their own struggles with relationships. He was just awful at taking his own advice.

He did feel this was better than meeting some girl at a bar. He didn’t typically go out much, but Kankuro insisted some nights to be his wing-man. It was enjoyable to watch his brother fail at picking up women. Temari was also no help. She only recommended women who were like her and those women happened to be a bit too intimidating for Gaara. At least on these dating apps, he could talk to the women first before deciding if they were annoying or not.

Gaara didn’t have a type, but he did seem to be attracted to women who smiled openly in their pictures. As he was scrolling he got a notification from one of his dating-apps. Sakura liked your picture! Tap to match! He hadn’t gotten a like in what felt like forever. Probably another goth girl who would find him boring once they started talking. With his look of mostly wearing black, Gaara attracted a certain type of woman. He dressed professionally while at work but during his downtime, Temari gave him everything that was off the rack that she thought that he would like. These girls thought he was a fashion guru, but he disappointed them time and again when he admitted that someone picked them out for him and he really didn’t care about labels. They seemed to ghost him after that.

When he opened the app he was met with a bright smile and sea glass green eyes that were like his own, but these eyes were filled with happiness. Gaara’s caught his breath when he looked at this girl Sakura. She was nothing like the girls who liked him before. Sakura was all sunshine and bright colors from her pink hair to her clothes. She was a nurse and enjoyed sweets and being outside. What surprised Gaara the most was what picture she had liked.

It was the very last picture on his profile and the only picture of him smiling. He was embarrassed when Temari insisted that she HAD to put in on. It was a dinner party a few months ago that Temari had thrown to announce her engagement to her longtime boyfriend Shikamaru. Lee had eaten something a little too spicy for his liking and was being his ridiculous self and Gaara just had to laugh at his misfortune. The fact that this girl Sakura looked at his whole profile and liked his picture was thrilling to Gaara. He had to talk to this girl, she seemed different if she liked a guy like him.

His hands started to type out a message before he realized what he was doing and pressed send to match with a Sakura Haruno...

Ch 3

#gaara x sakura #Sakura Haruno #Sabaku No Gaara #temari #Kankuro #shikamara nara #Rock Lee #might guy #modern au #dating au #My writing #gaasaku

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frumfrumfroo · 5 years ago

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Hello! I'm a (former?) star wars fan who was utterly devastated by TRoS and had to take an indefinite break from the fandom as a result. During lockdown I discovered kdramas and they're my new obsession! I saw that you recommended Coffee Prince and My Love from the Star in a post. I've already seen and loved those (and my own current favourites include Are You Human and Hwayugi) so I was wondering if you could recommend a few more? Thank you!!

Coitenly! /curly

Her Private Life- my new favourite. The curator of an art museum leads a secret double life as a hardcore kpop fangirl; both her identities get off on entirely the wrong foot with famous artist Ryan Gold who has been suffering from an art block caused by the same mysterious painting she’s determined to buy for her idol oppa. If you want a funny, fluffy, character-driven romance where you can really love the leads and will never want to strangle them: this is your show. It is the most purely enjoyable romcom drama ever imo, there’s none of the frustration over ridiculous behaviour or contrived stakes that you typically have to deal with and it has a satisfying, perfect ending. The villains all aren’t so bad after all, everyone gets an arc, the gentle little mystery has a happy resolution, and it’s just about some people facing their issues and helping each other grow. It was very healing to watch in this media climate.

The plot is nothing to write home about and includes a unneeded kdrama cliché towards the end (well-handled and not dragged out, so I forgive it), but the real ‘story’ is the character development and the plot is just a frame to hang that on. Overrall, it’s incredibly refreshing because of the high quality characters and the emotional maturity of the relationship. The leads have insane chemistry, the sexual tension is legit palpable, and the intimacy once they get together is genuinely next level; they are so natural and so endearing it feels like they’re not acting. Ryan Gold is also the best boyfriend in kdrama history and is played by the world’s most beautiful living man, Kim Jae Wook, whom you’ll recognise as our Waffle-kun Sun Ki from Coffee Prince. So it’s got that going for it as well.

Other romcoms: Sungkynkwan Scandal (historical disguise romance! girl needs to dress up as a guy to take the national exam so she can support her family, shenanigans ensue), My Princess (normal girl discovers she’s a lost princess, the guy her ascension will disinherit is in charge of grooming her for the role- it’s cute), Prime Minister & I (contract marriage), What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim (I think this show is pretty overrated but it’s definitely a fun, low-stakes romance with lots of fluff and lots of kissing and we probably all need a bit of that right now).

Change of pace:

Tell Me What You Saw- this is for my clannibals. Crime drama about a green country cop getting tied up in the apparent resurfacing of a famous serial killer who is officially supposed to be dead. She was driven to become a police officer to solve the hit-and-run death of her mother, but she hasn’t made it out of her home town. Then a body is dumped in her neighbourhood and her photographic memory of the scene draws the attention of the big city team leader. Said team leader takes her to meet the reclusive, ex-detective criminal profiler who originally worked the serial killer case.

A bond develops where she acts as his eyes and ears in the field and he trains her to observe like a detective, but our recluse is a very damaged dude and he’s not exactly being forthcoming about his real agenda.

This show has plot and logic issues, sometimes to its profound detriment, but the characters are extremely strong and everything else about it is fucking A+. Atmosphere, acting, action, pacing, intrigue, etc. are all fantastic. The ending was also unexpectedly wonderful and I was so grateful for that. Oh Hyun Jae (the profiler) is a secretive, broken, lonely, manipulative genius who is always fifteen steps ahead of everyone else and I find that very, very sexy of him. He is an anti-hero for most of the series and contrasts with our more idealistic protagonist both in that and in other more subtle ways. Their relationship is super interesting and I ship them really hard.

My Country- I’ll just tell you that the main characters are a mess and the plot leaves a lot to be desired, but watch it for Bang-won. He is a sad angry murder prince and he’s amazing. The whole show is peak eye candy throughout, every episode looks like an epic film with insane production value, so if you want quality action spectacle with a dangerous hot woobie way more interesting than the leads who seems to have wandered in from an infinitely better story to replace the ST- you’re set. Great news, he’s a real historical figure and became king, so they can’t kill him off.

#recs #kdrama #Bang-won has a completely different personality to Ben but he is in-universe similar in his Family Issues and need for validation #he's the only character in the whole stupid show who holds himself accountable and has consistent principles #so when he breaks them he knows exactly how much to hate himself #he is relentless and ruthless but very sad about the fact this makes him a huge asshole #he even achieves all his goals gains ultimate victory and then cries about it #and out-of-universe similar in that he is way waaaay too good a character for the poorly conceived and poorly executed narrative he's in #starring leads who are either boring or incoherent #but at least My Country understands that you love him and that he's played by the by far most charismatic actor in the series #they know he is going to steal every scene he is in #they know he's sexy #unlike apparently 99% of people working on sw #who do not know these same things about Ben #who continue to chastise the audience for latching on to the only character with an arc #what I'm saying is if you're one of those people who would like a way darker version of Ben: Bang-won is here for you #he is here and he is extremely hot #he does not kill his father and it honestly might have been better for everyone if he had #his dad is neck-and-neck with Odin in the Bad Royal Fathers Olympics #Bang-won also shares traits with Loki Prince Hal and Malcolm Tucker so you know he's pretty appealing to me

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darkshadow90 · 5 years ago

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Break Out Arthur Fleck/Joker x reader one shot part 2

A/N: Hey guys! I decided to go with the idea I had for the second part of Break Out. I decided not to write a summary since I thought it would give too much away. This might not be as suspenseful and dark as the first part, but hopefully you like it. I’m still basing Joker off of his personality in Arkham and it’s hard to say if he’ll be out of character. I hope he isn’t. If this is awful, I’m sorry 😂 Here’s the link to part 1 https://darkshadow90.tumblr.com/post/620422286556692480/break-out-arthur-fleckjoker-x-reader-one-shot

You woke up. ‘I’m not dead. He didn’t kill me? He must’ve been so preoccupied with escaping from Arkham, it didn’t matter to him if I was dead at the time or not. I remember he said he didn’t want me calling the police. Then not long after that I passed out. But where am I now?’ Your throat was sore and your head hurt a little. “Oh, good you’re awake.” A nurse was fixing your pillow. It occurred to you that you were in the hospital. “Thankfully, you’re not seriously injured. You have no major injuries to your head. It’s just a mild concussion, but we’re gonna keep you overnight just to be safe. Just take it easy and get some rest, okay? Looks like you’ve got a visitor. I’ll leave you two alone.” She left the room and a man walked in. “Hey there,” he said.

He didn’t look like someone you knew. He had short black hair, nicely combed. He was wearing a black jacket, blue jeans, and sneakers. Once you got a better look at him, you realized he was the orderly that was in the elevator with you and the Joker. “You’re the orderly from the elevator. What are you doing here?” “I found you unconscious in one of our psychiatrist’s offices. I was worried when you weren’t responding, so I called an ambulance. The doctor said you didn’t suffer any major injuries. How are you feeling?” “Well, my throat is sore and my head hurts a little, but I’ll live.” “Do you remember what happened?” “The office was the only unlocked room I could hide in. Somehow, the Joker knew I was hiding in there. He found me hiding under the desk. He told me I was the only visitor, and since it was the day he was planning on escaping from Arkham, he didn’t want me to ruin it by calling the police. He asked if I wanted to hear a joke, and after he told it to me, he grabbed by neck from behind me and squeezed it until I passed out. I don’t remember hitting my head, though.” The man felt sorry for you.

“I’m sorry. I could tell you didn’t feel entirely safe judging by the look on your face when you got off the elevator. I should’ve known he was up to something. I thought we had everything under control. But then he attacked one of the staff and...” “It’s okay. You didn’t know. It’s not your fault. I was visiting a friend. She checked herself into Arkham a few days ago. She’s supposed to go home tomorrow, but now I don’t want to pick her up alone. Not after what happened.” “If you want, I can meet you at the front desk and go with you.” “Really? You’d do that?” “Sure. Just tell the receptionist your name and ask for Johnny.” You thanked him and told him your name. “It’s no big deal. I’m just glad you’re okay. I should get going. I’ve got an early morning shift. See you tomorrow.” You said your goodbyes and decided to get some rest.

It was dark when you woke up. It must’ve been nighttime. Even though you were in the hospital, you were worried. The Joker escaped from Arkham, and could be anywhere. ‘Why would he come back for me? I’m just some random person. It’s not like I have anything he would be interested in. But then, I don’t have to. He’s the Joker. Who knows what goes on in that mind of his? He’s probably robbing banks or dealing with mobsters, or something.’ Unfortunately your anxiety became worse as you turned on the TV, flipping through channels and you landed on the news. The news about the Joker escaping from Arkham and your hospitalization nearly made you panic. It meant he would know you were alive. Maybe he already knew. There weren’t any stories about him committing any crimes, so you wondered how the media knew he escaped. Then it hit you. The staff at Arkham must’ve called the police. ‘Shit. He knows. He’ll come here.’ You heard screams from outside.

You thought you heard gunshots. Your heart was racing. You climbed out of bed. Thankfully, you were wearing thin hospital pants so the lower half of your body wasn’t naked if you needed to make a run for it. You carefully opened you door and looked outside. It didn’t look like anyone was injured. Doctors and nurses were running scared for their lives. You looked to your left and froze at what you saw. Joker and two men wearing clown masks. ‘Great. So I’ve got him and his goons to deal with.’ They didn’t see you. The front desk was at the end of the hall. The woman behind the desk nearly went pail from fear when she saw the Joker and his men approaching her. He sauntered over to her and leaned over the counter. He had a smug grin on his face, acting as if he was trying to make conversation with her. “I’m looking for someone.” He mentioned your name. “Do you know where she is?” She was trying her best to stay calm. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over. I can’t let you see her now.” He nodded. “Boys.” The two men went behind the counter and began taking out files from the shelves. “S-sir, I can’t let you do that. It’s against the rules. P-please don’t take the files out of the shelves. We have them organized to keep track of patients.” The men didn’t listen to her. They kept taking out files until they found yours. “Here it is, boss.” The man handed it to him. Joker quickly flipped through it, not really caring to read the majority of the contents. When he finished, he threw it over his shoulder. Joker took a gun out of his pocket and aimed it at her. You were terrified he was going to shoot her. He shouted, “Bang!” She screamed, and he laughed. He thought it was funny to scare her like that. You thought he would fall to his knees from laughing so hard. His men looked at each other and shrugged, not understanding what was so funny. You decided to make a run for it.

You ran passed your room. ‘What a nutter. No wonder he was in Arkham. What a smug prick, too. Scaring her like that, and then laughing about it. At least he didn’t kill her. I’ve got to buy myself some time and hide somewhere. You turned left and found an area with crash carts and medical supplies and equipment. You peeked behind the wall and saw the two men go in your room. Joker wasn’t with them. You weren’t sure why, but at least none of them found you yet. You ducked behind the wall and quickly crouched behind the crash carts. You took some time to breathe. There were silver trays with medical supplies, one of them was in front of you. It hid you a little more from view. You looked ahead of you and saw a vent. ‘If I can make it to that vent, I can crawl through it and try to get to the security office and call the police. I don’t want to risk putting another receptionist’s life in danger. It’s me he wants anyway. He’s smart. He knows I know he’s here buy now. If he’s not with his goons, he’s probably up to something. But what? Does he really get that much enjoyment going after one person?’ It wouldn’t surprise you if he did.

You didn’t waste any time. You made your way to the vent, and carefully removed it from the wall. You climbed in and carefully began making your way through. You were being as careful as you could to not make any noise. You made your way through each path despite the fact you weren’t sure where you were going. You peeked through each vent you came to. You still wanted to be quiet. Just because they hadn’t found you didn’t mean they weren’t looking. You heard voices up ahead. Unfortunately you didn’t have a direction you could go except straight ahead. You peeked through the vent, but you didn’t see anyone. Whoever it was must’ve been gone. You sighed in relief. It startled you when Joker suddenly looked through the vent. “Peekaboo,” he crooned. You kicked the vent, knocking him over in the process. ‘Shit! How did he know?’ You quickly jumped out of the vent and ran.

You ran down the hallway, and went into the first room you came to. You crouched behind the wall, and you tried to make it to the phone, but someone grabbed you and threw you to the ground. “Just as I thought, you didn’t disappoint. I knew tonight would be fun.” He had you pinned down. You tried to fight him off, but he bashed your head on the ground. “Night-night.” You prepared yourself for what was to come, but it never came. The last thing you saw before you passed out was a dark figure tackling Joker off of you. You knew you were safe when you realized who it was, and smiled. “Batman.”

You woke up in your room. The police told you Batman apprehended the Joker and took him back to Arkham. Batman told the police Joker came after you because he was bored, and you were one of the people lucky enough to survive crossing paths with him. He also knew that if you called the police at the hospital, Batman wouldn’t be far behind. He didn’t want his fun to end just yet. Now that he’s back in Arkham, you would be safe. You checked yourself out of the hospital and went to Arkham to pick up your friend. You asked for Johnny and he went with you to make sure you were safe the whole time. You told your friend about everything that happened. Needless to say, both of you were happy your lives would be normal again.

#arthur fleck x female reader #joker fandom #joker x reader #joker movie #joaquin phoenix joker #joker fanfiction #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader

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bookswithelli · 5 years ago

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a darker shade of magic: review

synopsis:

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black.

Kell was raised in Arnes—Red London—and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see.

Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they'll never see. It's a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand.

After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.

Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

review under the cut!

stars: ★★★★☆

First of all, although I rated this book 4 stars, there were some issues with it (mainly involving representation and characterization). I rated it 4 stars because I enjoyed reading it despite its issues, but I recognize that the mediocre representation may turn others away from this book.

characters & representation

Before I begin this section of the review, I would like to say that I am not visually impaired and therefore do not have any authority on that subject. My comments on the treatment of Lila's missing eye are merely based on my own observations and what I have heard from visually impaired people on the topic.

Lila:

A cross-dressing thief and aspiring pirate with a penchant for knives, Lila Bard brings to mind the likes of Inej Ghafa from Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows and Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean. There were times when I really liked Lila; she can be sassy and morally questionable which is always interesting to see when well done. However, her character had a few issues that I wanted to address.

“Delilah Bard looked like a king. No...she looked like a conqueror.” pg. 289

When will fantasy authors stop romanticising conquerors and colonization?! This may be a smaller issue since aside from White London (which is villainized) there is no mention of it in the overarching plot, but this line just really bothered me. It makes me think that V.E. Schwab is a fan of adult and YA fantasy authors like Sarah J. Maas and others who write their main characters to be colonizers and romanticize it in the process. I don’t think this line was necessary at all, and I wish the second sentence had been removed or modified to something a little less problematic (e.g. she looked like a pirate/captain/etc.)

"How did you lose it...your eye?" -Master Tieren, pg. 327

It is revealed near the end of the book that Lila has been missing an eye for as long as she can remember, and she wears a glass eye as a replacement. This is all well and good, but the consequences of her impaired vision are never explored. The only reason the reader knows that Lila is missing an eye is because the author tells them. The narrative never discusses how Lila's lack of an eye affects her day to day life, and it's only brought into the story when it is needed for the plot.

It’s also worth mentioning that Lila is the only female character with a large role in this book, and no matter how “feminist” her character is, there’s not a lot of women in this book that are portrayed positively and with depth.

Rhy:

I actually really liked Rhy and I loved his relationship with Kell. I love sibling love in books and we so rarely get positive sibling relationships, so this was nice to see! It’s also really important to have queer people of color in books. However, I don’t think Rhy’s character is good bi/pan representation (I will refer to him as bi in this review for the sake of brevity, but it’s worth mentioning that neither term is mentioned so Rhy could canonically identify as either).

“He would flirt with a nicely upholstered chair, and he never takes anything seriously.” -Kell, pg. 254

As a queer girl who has identified as bisexual in the past and may in the future, this is bad bi rep 101. Schwab is perpetuating the stereotype of the “promiscuous bi”, or one who flirts and/or sleeps with everyone and everything. This is not a bad characteristic in itself, but it is harmful bi rep because that is the way every bi character is portrayed in media. It reinforces the idea that bisexual people in real life are all like this, and it also reinforces biphobes’ points of view when they say that bisexual people are more likely to cheat because they sleep with more people. This is pretty much the most common stereotype of a bisexual person, so while I doubt that Schwab intended to be harmful in her portrayal of Rhy, it shows that she did not do much research on LGBT+ rep when writing her characters. I do know that some bi people were not bothered by this; however, I believe that writers should stay away from stereotypes, especially when writing characters that are marginalized. Even though promiscuity is not an inherently bad trait, it is harmful when applied to bisexual people because it reinforces real peoples’ beliefs and affects real life bisexuals. This is especially important here because Rhy is the only narrative-confirmed LGBT+ character in the first book. It's not the worst representation I've seen, since Rhy does have a personality outside his flirtatiousness and promiscuity (in fact, it's confirmed that this is a coping mechanism for him) but it's certainly not the best, and I'm just tired of seeing bisexual people represented this way in fiction.

Kell:

I know a lot of people who didn’t like Kell very much, and that is understandable. However, I found him really compelling. It’s refreshing to see a male lead in this genre who’s not jacked and a brooding asshole whose only redeeming quality is his dick size. He’s definitely moody, but not to the point where he becomes an abusive alpha male type guy (yes, I am aware that this is a very low bar). I genuinely enjoyed his character because he’s flawed. He’s stubborn and moody but he’s incredibly caring and he genuinely wants to help people. He feels alienated from his family so he rebels and gets himself in trouble. His character is written well because he’s not perfect by any means, but he’s still likeable and you still root for him.

Holland:

Holland is what every YA love interest wishes they were. Honestly. He’s given no excuses for his actions, and yet he is still sympathetic. You understand that he is under the control of Astrid and Athos, but you also understand that all he has done for years is carry out their orders, and that changes a person. His story is heartbreaking, but that doesn’t change what he has done. He knows it, Kell knows it, Lila knows it, the reader knows it. Honestly, if he were in a YA fantasy romance, I bet Holland would be the love interest; his female “mate” would change him for the better, and he would never face the consequences of his actions. That makes his arc in this story all the more enjoyable. Holland is one of my favorite characters of all time, and not because he’s a perfect “book boyfriend” or whatever, but because his story and character are genuinely interesting and executed well.

worldbuilding

I loved the worldbuilding in this book. There was a bit of an info-dump in the beginning, but I’m willing to look past that because the world was so engaging and interesting that I forgot about the dense first chapter once I got past it. Each London has a distinct feel, and they are all almost tangible. The descriptions of each made me feel like I was in the Londons along with Kell and Lila. It seems like the system would be complicated, but Lila sums it up well:

“There’s Dull London, Kell London, Creepy London, and Dead London.” -pg. 198

After the initial info-dump, Schwab weaves information about the magic system seamlessly through the book, leaving enough mystery for the reader to wonder at what might happen in the next books, but never leaving out so much that the reader is confused. I really appreciated the rules that existed around magic. It’s draining, and Antari magic requires blood, which means there is a limit to how much you can perform at once. Magic is seen to affect the world beyond the characters and their main conflict, which I was very happy about as well. There are too many fantasy novels where the magic system has no rules and only exists to further the plot, but in this world you can see it everywhere. The politics of Red London and White London are affected by magic, even where it is not necessarily relevant to the plot. You can see small amounts of magic being performed in the streets of Red London: spells to protect from thieves, etc. Magic is normal for the people in Red London, and it is treated as such in the text.

pacing & plot

This book flew along. I’ve read it multiple times now, and every time, I can’t stop until I finish. And then I want to move along to the next book immediately. It manages to keep up a great pace and still build up to an exciting climax. Schwab’s lyrical writing is not flowery, but it draws the reader in and carries them along the story effortlessly. It’s very engaging and accessible language, which makes it a good stepping stone into adult fantasy (especially if you’re coming from YA).

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. The representation that it gets praised so highly for is disappointing, but aside from that I enjoyed most of the characters and the writing was beautiful. The plot and world were engaging and made me want to read the second book immediately (even though I’m on my 3rd or 4th reread). I would recommend this book for fans of YA fantasy who want to get into adult fantasy - this book is categorized as adult, but I found it a lot easier to read than other adult fantasies. For me, this book is a reminder that you can recognize the flaws in a book and still enjoy it, so remember to stay critical, even of your favorite books :)

#adsom #a darker shade of magic #kell maresh #lila bard #rhy maresh #holland vosijk #ve schwab #booklr #review

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dio-roga · 6 years ago

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After years of stalling, this is finally seeing the light of day and thank actual jesus for that. There’s more fic out there than you’d think for the best boys, but like all things, sturgeon's law’s in effect when it comes to quality (big time actually, around 35 fics on this list from a rough 350 in existence). I read them all so you don’t have to.

Higher rank the better (though obviously YMMV) and the rest should just be ordered by word count. I have a place in my heart for everything on this list so no matter where it is or what I say about it, trust me, if it’s here, I think it’s worth your time.

Will do my best to keep things up to date. I F5 tabs like you wouldn’t believe. Love you guys ❤

[SSS RANK] ABSOLUTE TOP SHELF

ego, opinion, art & commerce 24parts

We hopefully all know it, we certainly all love it. The canon-compliant, rock-band road-trip AU that’s destined to rule the entire ship one day; the cryde child of prophecy. Go in hard and this’ll take you away like nothing else. The only thing not absolutely perfect about this fic is (like the rest of us) you’ll have to wait for the ending. I know waiting sucks, but please don’t let it stop you bingeing this story right now. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s better than most published books you’ll ever read.

let your heart hold fast niente

Literally the best finished cryde fic ever written as of time of writing this. The boys have grown up. Clyde’s a writer, Craig’s distant, and familiar circumstances bring them crashing back together. The cast of characters are a complete joy, it’s fully drenched in canon, and sports an amazingly rich post-series lore with all manner of cute nods and easter eggs for fans of the show. Nothing short of a masterpiece. Written with such love. Treasure your first read of it.

[SS RANK] AMAZING READS GAURANTEED

Pulling Mussels SekritOMG

A divisive fic maybe, but a classic all the same. Get ready for a fresh take on normal fic conventions to be sure. Personally? I’d consider it top shelf, no question. But to others? They might end up absolutely hating it. A strange midlife odyssey wherein a fed-up, lonely Craig begrudgingly reconnects with an out-of-shape, stagnated Clyde. Memorable to say the least, packed to bursting with detail and personality; go in with the right mindset and its glorious set pieces with burn themselves into your memories. Possibly the fic I’ve re-read the most ever.

Darkness Falls Vampiracy

Do you like cute, gorgeously written things? Set during the three days of Stick of Truth, it tells the behind-the-scenes story of Craig’s growing infatuation with the Lord of Darkness. Everything about this is clever and charming and just generally heart-warming. Best read after playing the game for maximum enjoyment, feel smart and accomplished as you pick out all the references. This fic’s adorable and pure and can do no wrong.

Chicken Vampiracy

The gateway fic? Huge question mark? This story is cryde personified. Like the author distilled the ships very essence into this amazingly funny and light-hearted story about the boys playing the world’s most drawn out game of gay chicken. It’s impossible not to love this story, it’s perfect for what it is, and will leave you feeling happy by the end every time. What more could you want? Show this one to your friends and they’ll finally ‘get’ cryde.

the remains of our sky traiyadhvika

I’ll level with you fam, this story will emotionally cripple you, prepared or not. The writing is precise, sublime, and utterly heart-breaking. It tells the story of how Craig deals with the aftermath of Clyde’s death on Everest. Obviously a heavy topic, but I can tell you with complete confidence that this fic not only does the subject matter justice, but also manages to tell a story of love and hope despite it. Like Butters said, it’s a beautiful sadness. This fic had me obsessively researching mountains for weeks, and anything that can light that kind of fire in you is something special.

C & C, The Mystery Duo Darkyfoot

There is nothing in here but pure fluff, joy and happiness. This story will lighten your soul and brighten your heart. It tells the tale of the boys discovering a life-long obsession for hunting mysteries, and will resonate with anyone who’s ever held a strong passion in their lives (which is probably most of you, if you’re hunting down SP fics to read). The written equivalent of a warm blanket and a steaming hot mug of cocoa on a cold winter’s night.

[S RANK] THE REALLY GOOD STUFF

Equality Donkerblauw Fluweel

A good chill-out fic? Cataloguing a series of parties over the summer in which Clyde starts cozying up to Craig after much alcohol is consumed; and like a good drink, the fic mixes all its elements together nicely. It’s nothing ground breaking, but it’s got a super relaxing flow to it, and will brighten your mood by the end. It nails the party atmosphere, so if you’ve got no-where to go this Friday night, maybe pour yourself a little something and give this one a read.

Craig Likes Vanilla (Ice Cream) themuffintitan

The cuteness equivalent of porn. If you’ve got a list of cliché ‘aww’ scenarios, chances are they’ll play out in this fic. If hand holding and sharing an ice-cream make you melt (hahanotfunny) then this one’s definitely for you. For a fairly simple story about Craig and the squad visiting a waterpark, it’s remarkably detailed (check that word count fam), and has a killer summer atmosphere to boot. It certainly made me hit up a park last July. The writing does let it down in a few areas, but overall you’ll probably be too busy enjoying the ride to notice.

The Silent Lie Donkerblauw Fluweel

Guilty pleasure? Okay you caught me red-handed. This fic’s practically porn. Read all about how Clyde learns to surrender his heterosexuality as Craig massages away all his football injuries in the steamiest way possible. If I’m being totally honest? The story’s pretty obviously there to frame the smut, and writing can be a bit all over the place. But I can’t deny it just works. It’s hot AF. Come here for the sexies and you won’t leave disappointed. Read it after dark. ;)

Press Play flappySp00kster

Arguably unfinished, but the only thing missing is apparently a mostly superfluous epilogue. We’re in full AU territory here as Clyde hooks up with Craig on a dating app during a rough-patch with his long-time, and now ex, girlfriend. Your mileage may vary obviously as the story’s not canon compliant; however the boys behave like you’d imagine and the romance is nicely fleshed out and unique. Bonus points for a bit of kink in the sex scenes, which is rarer than you’d expect for this ship.

What Happened in 1637 pinkfloyd1770

One of the most strikingly unique stories out there; it’s essentially a flower shop AU in which Clyde embraces his Dutch heritage and sports and encyclopedic knowledge on tulip facts. Written in medias res during a seemingly long since established relationship with Craig, this fic merely offers a look into this unique take on the couple as they go about their lives. The detail is stunning, and you’ll find vivid mental pictures coming to life in every scene. If you can get past the fact Craig bottoms (let’s pretend he was feeling generous that evening) then you’ll certainly be charmed with this one. (1637 is the year the tulip bubble finally popped. In case you were wondering.)

Around My Head wendybirb

Are you looking for something that’s light and fluffy? Maybe you like reading Clyde’s inner monologue as he fumbles around high-key pining over his best friend? Perfect, sign yourself up to this fic; it’s a quick and easy read that’ll give you your daily dose of wholesomeness from one of my favorite authors. Nothing overly flashy or complicated here, just boys being cute and kissing.

hey there demons traiyadhvika

This spooky affair is thankfully a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster than it’s cousin ‘remains of our sky’, but that’s not to say it doesn’t grab you and refuse to let go. Have you ever wondered what Craig and Clyde would be like trying to host one of those dorky haunted house shows? Bonus points in that Craig can legitimately see ghosts? It’s a fresh concept that’ll really get your mind racing with the cutest hosts you could ask for. Kept me glued to my seat, ready to throw down if any bad spirits came between the best boys. Slept with the hall lights on for a couple nights ngl.

As Good a Reason as Any Vampiracy

The last of the sacred trinity that also includes Chicken and Darkness Falls, the only reason this fic isn’t ranked higher is because it’s also the authors shortest. Watching Clyde try anything and everything to spend more time with Craig is as endearing as it sounds, and the only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome; when honestly, you’d like the fic to stay for dinner and spend the night. Quality everything. No joke made my heart flutter. Read it and know true happiness.

Kiss It Better dokidave

A one and done story of Craig trying to cheer Clyde up after a difficult day. This fic’s a nice double whammy if you’re looking for some hurt and comfort mixed in with some steamy sex scenes. It delivers exactly what is says on the box; don’t expect too much in the way of plot of development, but certainly feel free to gush over the sappy sweet character moments. A good pick-me-up fic if you’re having a lousy day.

Take a Chance (You Say It's Your Birthday) Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

So here we have Craig being drunk and vulnerable, while Clyde’s radiating raw sexuality as he dances for Craig’s camera. I’m usually all about Craig giving off that top energy, but the way this story frames (hahakillme) the whole dynamic is very soft and endearing; you can fully understand why Craig’s the one feeling thirsty this time around. This is a fic that really knows how to set a mood. Read it and feel like you’re being pampered.

You Make It Easier glowworm888

Pure comfort; Clyde’s feeling understandably miserable about the thought of growing up without his mom, and Craig’s doing his best to help Clyde cope. Wholesome dumb teenagers looking out for each other and low-key falling in love. I dare you not to feel all happy inside as Clyde slowly begins to feel better as Craig looks after him. Adorable throughout, the ending is very much them. Another good read for making a crappy day a better one.

Miss you x Vampiracy

A true hidden gem by one of the best authors in the whole fandom; we have here the best fic in which Clyde doesn’t even appear. The whole schoolyard gang give their two cents on Craig’s spiraling mental state as he tries desperately to justify a typo to Clyde during an obsessive summer-long texting marathon. Legitimately funny from start to finish, with buttery-smooth dialogue and a big soft ending that’ll have you grinning ear-to-ear for completely different reasons. Love it, cherish it, and dream of more. Vampiracy ̶ we’ll miss you x.

[A RANK] SHORT AND SWEET

Whatever Gets You Through The Night Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There’s a lot of mixed feelings for me in this fic. A love-letter to Clyde and his parents, in which Craig gets caught up on the whole ‘love’ part of it, having trouble fully expressing himself due to some heavy personal baggage. The Donovan’s really shine in this story. Betsy’s alive and massively comforting, Roger’s family values personified, and Clyde’s being a sweetheart to end all sweethearts. It’s confronting, more than a little emotionally messy, but it’s none the less a story that’ll stay with you. Check the comments for a hidden stinger.

Some Dieting Donkerblauw Fluweel

Clyde’s self-image problems are the focus this time around, doing a commendable job pushing the ideas of healthy progress, properly looking after yourself and feeling comfortable letting others help out. It’s a good length for the story it is, and although the writing gets a little spotty in parts you’ll be unlikely take too much notice. Like Clyde, this one’s hearts in the right place.

If Time Could Stand Still WeCryde

I used to stumble across this story semi-regularly back in the day, wondering if I’d missed it before realizing we’d already been well acquainted. The amount of show rather than tell is fairly distracting, with the entire meat of the relationship relegated to backstory. There’s still something here though. Perhaps in the way it deals with long-distance relationships and just distance in general. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me resonates with the plight of two idiots with thousands of miles between them. See if it works for you?

The Edges of the Atmosphere Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There should be some sort of law that states that confessions in cryde stories have to be some level of stupid or convoluted. These two are physically incapable of expressing such feelings to each other in any standard normie way. So enjoy some classic spaceman Craig tropes while Clyde juggles being cute and awkward like a pro. Trigger warning for some racy hand-holding action; we’re talking interlocking fingers here.

Standby Flier Cheesebirb (Hi Mark ;)

So upfront, this story isn’t even a romance quite honestly. It’s just a cute bromance sort of affair at most, in which the boys share a hotel room together while waiting on a flight back home. You could quite certainly interpret it as the start of something deeper, as the fic gladly provides hints to support it; however there’s nothing to see here apart from the two personalities bouncing off each other, and sometimes that’s enough. A memorable little story that might resonate that little bit extra if you’re a frequent traveler.

Bust and Boom Azul_Bleu

Clyde fumbling with the realization that he’s got the hots for Craig isn’t new ground, that’s about the only ‘downside’ I could give this story. What it does with this premise however is deliver some pitch-perfect characterizations, snappy pacing, a good variety of settings, and some surprisingly touching moments given its brevity. It’s also loaded with lines that stand up off the page and stick with you and those are always worth their weight in gold; the author really squeezes a lot out of the short word count.

Forts Can Be Fun wendybirb

In which little Craig builds a pillow fort and little Clyde is invited. It’s a soft story with some cute exchanges, if you’re looking for a more innocent kid-cryde vibe then this one can scratch the itch. Short and sweet by definition. Go read it and give yourself a little smile.

Ennui dsfgajkh

This simple story’s a real blink and you’ll miss it; detailing some introspective thoughts Clyde’s having about the monotony of small town life and his fascination with his much more interesting best friend. At nearly a decade old, this story pre-dates Pandemic, which solidified the usual stoic Craig tropes that came after so it’s an awesome little time capsule back to those days where apathetic Clyde and flamboyant Craig was as good a guess as any. There’s a line about skittles that makes it worth the ten minute read.

Neighbors Vampiracy

So remember that time that Vampiracy wrote one of the most realistic and precious depictions of little Craig and Clyde playing with toy trucks in the backyard, but then it got buried in the depths of tumblr? Try not to smile when Clyde beams over the prospect of making a new friend and being able to show off the hole he’s dug; I completely and utterly dare you. Bratty Craig is my spirit animal and I’d die for more adventures with him at the Donovan house. I’m such a sucker for cutesy pre-school fluff I swear; just like you will be when you’re done reading this.

Shine On How You Shine On Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

Real talk? I’m a sucker for all things Brokeback Mountain, and this fic’s just neatly slotting in Craig and Clyde as the cowboys sharing a rough and confusing night in a tent together. The story is exactly what you’d think if you’ve read the original, and it hits all the same thematic beats. Guilty pleasure alert in full here. If you’re in the mood for hearing Clyde Twist tense up as Craig Delmar spits on his hand behind him then I won’t judge if you don’t. I’d unironically read ten more chapters.

Two Weeks toddintops

Yeah-yeah I know I’m stretching the definition of fic with this one, it’s barely a half thousand words; but hey, better five hundred words that make you feel something than ten thousand that leave you feeling the same. A short, sharp dose of angst with some beautiful art accompanying, what have you got to lose? Something about Clyde’s smile, coupled with the bittersweet lines near the end has always managed to stay with me. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you too.

UNFINISHED (BUT STILL GREAT)

Ask Craig obitotxt (Password is 12345)

Hop on board the angst express; with the last stop being yourself when you realize the story comes crashing off the rails and never hits the end. Is the fact this blog never reached a conclusion one of the great tragedies of our modern era? Yeah, kinda. Fact is, this is probably the only cryde-centric askblog-formatted story out there; and yeah, it’s hyperbolic at times, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel something. Packed to the brim with boys being boys, memorable moments and just so much heart, you’ll be pressing F (and F5) for days after you reach the final unfinished pages.

One More Year llexxii

And here’s a weird way to recommend something: you probably don’t want to read this one. It’s very long, it’s very dead, and it has a fairly submissive Craig coupled with a rather unlikable rendition of Clyde. So why’m I even talking about this, and really, I’ve not got much of an answer for you. Just that this fic, despite everything, has some consistently excellent writing. The flashback scenes to Craig and Clyde as young kids are total gems. There’s stuff to love here, and maybe it could have been something great; if nothing else, maybe check it out as an interesting look into the ships history.

Turn It Around, Get a Rewrite wendybirb

This one hurts, in just about every respect. Prepare for angst story wise as we follow along with the life and times of Craig, reconnecting with a clearly troubled yet desperately pining Clyde, who seems scared shitless about his dying claims to heterosexuality. I genuinely love this story. It’s raw and emotional and angry and sexy, it comes across messy and real and does an amazing job making you care about the boys while also showing their more frustrating attributes. I’m still holding out hope it’ll one day take its place with the greats, but until then, the hardest gut-punch is always that “unfinished” tag.

January White (Love Is a Stain) Dovakiin

Here we’ve got a different kind of tragedy. The usual formula is a promising author burning out after an amazing opening run, but here we’ve got a story that never even made it past the kickoff. It’s such a shame. The eponymous metaphor and the solemn tone throughout is honestly pretty captivating; I would love to see how this take on the characters would have played. Spare ten minutes from your day and give yourself something to reflect on with this abandoned beginning.

NOT FULL CRYDE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

ask MARSH and BROFLOVSKI jovishark

You know what? Fuck it. I’m putting this one here and no one can stop me. This ask blog is practically fandom required reading at this point, and I couldn’t in good conscience not mention it. Stan and Kyle answer your questions, the plotline reads like something from a CW show, and Craig and Clyde don’t even end up together. I love it genuinely. If you pressed me, this story might be what got me into the fandom; pressed me harder, it’s what got me into cryde (again ironic as cryde isn’t endgame here). Always worth a read or a re-read. Pretend Craig and Clyde sorted things out in college if you need to.

Brace Yourself skyline

Okay so it’s a style story, let’s get that elephant in the room well and truly pointed out from the outset. If it’s a deal breaker for you that cryde isn’t the focus, then move along, but I guarantee for those that stay, there’s a charmingly written cryde side-ship playing out in tandem to Stan’s quest to win over his super best friend. There’s a lot to love about this story, the writings sharp and surprisingly powerful at times, and the characters are a joy to watch. Watching the cryde story unfold from Stan’s POV is a unique experience that you won’t really find anywhere else.

Remove Before Flight skyline

So remember Brace Yourself from literally just one entry up? Okay, same concept, same author. This is a different timeline in which Kenny’s the lucky protagonist trying to win Kyle’s heart, but like before, you’re treated to an enjoyable cryde sub-plot playing on in the background of the K2 drama. The writing’s still on-point, the characters are still great; if you liked the authors other story (which I’d advise reading first), you’ll definitely enjoy this one too. It’s cute how Craig and Clyde always seem destined for each other in this universe.

#cryde #fanfic #clyde donovan #craig tucker #cryderecs #we should probs be friends if youve read them all #❤️

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kanashierihime · 6 years ago

Text

English fanfiction to come

When you have too many ideas and you want to write them down even if it takes years to do it 😂.

Short abc of stories below. Help me decide priority of writing 😊

AoKuro (Kuroko No Basket)

Regrets (One shot) - Warning: Major Character Death. Kuroko remembers Middle School, his young love and the world of empty sympathy that stole his love away.

Can We Still Be Friends (Around 8 chapters not sure)- Warning: Depression, suicidal thought - Kuroko and Aomine didn’t see each other for two years after being thrown away from the team of Miracles . Everything change when while doing his shopping he spots Aomine’s mother who asks him if he maybe could visit her son in the mental hospital.

Wish (4 chapters) - Aomine was bored. Everything was boring. New team, new rivals. Boredom created his life, till one day he wakes up from his nap in a cat body. Just what the hell?!

Chrisawa (Daiya No A)

You Get My Love (around 10 chapters not sure) Warning: Depression, Homophobia, yips - Sawamura tries hard to blend into a team, but everyone just reminds him that he isn’t needed. The only person that actually cares about him is his mentor- Chris. He still loud and stubborn to be an ace, but then yips happened and he just couldn’t win over this. So he goes back to Nagano feeling worse than ever. He failed everyone. But surprisingly his mentor still visits him making Sawamura’s heart do some weird backflips.

Forget ur books (4 chapters). Sawamura was cursed as a child for disrespecting minor god. Now every time he read book he can make it real around him. So his family reminds him to read in a closed house to not affect the city in this weird magic. But one day while Sawamura is reading some of the history book no one noticed that one of the windows is open, turning the city into a place where nothing is normal. Especially not these warriors with swords ready to cut anyone in their way.

Mirror (2 chapters) Warning: Cheating, coming out. Chris is working a doctor busy with his carrier. He has a wife but their marriage isn’t happy. But then one day to his clinic came a young boy (who wasn’t so young) who made his heart skip a bit with his smile and nice words.

BakuDeku (Boku No Hero Academia)

(Don’t comment how most of these fics have P!nk song as a title, her song are just A+ okay? xD)

Trapped Mind (5 chapters) Warning: Angst, Hurt, Addiction to drug, alcohol, sex, depression, suicidal attempt, memory lost. Izuku fell into his own trap of being a perfect hero. Katsuki not wanting to see his friends being judged to death by being just human that can make mistakes, decide to play the bad guy and till Izuku won’t get his memories back. But this task is far harder than any mission he did so far. Being hated by everyone left him trapped in a dead-end.

Who Am I (5 chapters) Warning: Toxic parental love, Memory lost, bullying, depression. Izuku moves to USA as a child after his accident where he loses half of his right leg. His mother is warry of everyone in his surroundings, she doesn’t want him to go back to Japan and meet with a person she blames of being responsible for his accident. But Izuku is having enough of being trapped in her arms and want to find out who he is, who he was before his mother decided to create him as a weak man.

90 Days (4 chapters?) Warning: angst. Izuku always wanted to repair his friendship with Katsuki. Wanted to laugh with him, study, going out. But reality showed that it’s not possible. Katsuki found new friends, people he likes to hang out. Their second year in UA and Katsuki b-day was the last straw to kill his heart. Seeing his friend laughing with their classmates, not being bothered by all these hugs and photos. Izuku runs away to his dorm room to cry his eyes out. And decides to go over Kacchan by the end of 90 days.

Walk Me Home (6 chapters) Izuku has autism that prevents him from having normal life. His only friend is Katsuki who seems enoying spending his time with Deku. But hearing his mom talking to his dad about her fears of him not being able to function without their help, to even find a job since meeting with people often ends with him having a panic attack. He wants to change, he wants to show his mom and Katsuki that he can be a proper part of society. But for that, he needs Kacchan help.

Secrets (10 chapters) Warning: Child abuse, Angst, pedophilia. Deku is a vocalist in Katsuki band with Kaminari, Tokoyami, Awase. Deku is the only person who can deal with Katsuki moods and can sing the song their drummer creates. Fans and media have their fun wondering what is the relationship between them. Deku also wonders what is his relationship with Kacchan and why he can’t sing his own songs.

Happy (around 10 chapters) Warning: Soulmate, angst, depression. Izuku loves heroes even tho he wasn’t born with a quirk, but he don’t have time to dream since his family life isn’t so happy. His dad found his true soulmate and his mom lost her mind over broken heart since for her his dad was her soulmate. Izuku from his young days must watch out for his mom, and every day he prays to not find her dead when he returns home. Even meeting All Might didn’t make him eager to focus in hero path. He refuse All Might to be a hero, he doesn’t have time and his mom would go crazy if he would left her side. Wanting to save Kacchan was just a short thought of ending his misery. But somehow Deku ends up in UA in GE curse. And soon he finds up that his Soulmate is Kirishima. He feels how his body is changing because of it thing he doesn’t realize that Katsuki isn’t happy to find out.

Silent Scream (5 chapters) Warnings: Bullying. Izuku has troubles with speaking, so his parents showed him sign langue which find out more fun and enjoyable. But soon fun times ends when he ends up with the same kindergarten as Katsuki who wants to make him speak no matter what. Everything goes in the far worse direction the moment when Katsuki gets his quirk. Not being able to control his new ability he goes too far with the explosion that made Izuku lose his hearing in the left ear. (okay so it;s “A Silent Voice” but in MHA AU xD)

Hurt 2b Human (DUNNO) Warning: angst, war, A/B/O, death. They say that Alpha ones are people that were blessed by gods. Omega were fruits of sweet desire for happiness. Katsuki was an Alpha. Japanese Solider who gonna die in Death Chamber any moment. No one knows why Japan lost the war. The only thing he knows that Russia won and now he gonna die. Or maybe there is a hope?

Timebomb (12 chapters) Fantasy AU. Katsuki and Deku fights with the evil mistresses who seeing that she can lose to them decide to split them apart and send Izuku to a different dimension. Katsuki roar with the grief of losing his mate. He captures his enemy to only learn that she can't bring him back. There is no way he gonna see his Deku again. But he can’t give up. He asks Uraraka for help and she creates a necklace to send him to other worlds, tho it will be random... So there he is going through 10 worlds to find his mate and return home with him.

Dream of the Death ( 5 chapters) Warning: major character death. Katsuki has few regrets in life. The biggest is telling his friend to kill himself. But then by villain attack he is sent to the past where Izuku is alive. Soon he realizes that whatever he says to Izuku doesn’t go through. So he changes his tacting and go to his younger self and please him to save Izuku.

Bonus story: Ten Times where Izuku got hit by quirk and made Katsuki ask himself of his sexuality (10 chapters)

Haikyuu!!

Different way of love (3 chapters) Warning: Angst, Homophobia, depression, suicide, dealing with lose. Kuroo thinks he has nice life. Good friends, a lovely boyfriend, and a dog. Nothing to complain. Till in Sawamura’s life show up his first love and things go not the way Kuroo thought it would. Sawamura is dealing with depression, love issues, and past that can't be really forgotten. Life isn’t an easy mission.

Neko Love (4 chapters) Warning: Abuse. Yokai had it enough of being ruled by weak humans. They started a revolution against them and won. Now people are their slaves and taste how yokais felt when humans bullied them for ages. Kuroo is a nekomata. He loves living in Sawamura household. He supposed to leave or rule over his past masters but he can’t find a strength to abuse his young master.

Tengu’s Book (6 chapters) Warning: abuse. Kuroo has the worst luck in the world. He was born with these strange powers and thanks to them he can see yokais. Not very pleasant thing to see. People usually are wary of him and are afraid of his weird looks and muttering. Kuroo is used to being alone. Till one day he meets a tengu who gives him an offer. He gonna be his bodyguard for finding his wings. What can go wrong?

Dragon’s Heart (5 chapters) Warning: Slight angst. Fantasy AU. Iwaizumi is a dragon rider but the thing is, he seems to not being able to bond with his dragon so after his school is destroyed by Demons he searches for beasts master Sawamura who was cursed by Demons to be able to talk with monsters and was thrown from society. Their meeting is awkward. Sawamura can’t really speak human langue since humans usually avoid him and Iwaizumi can’t deal with his responsibilities as a warrior.

Your Heartbeats (one shot) part of my Soulmate AU. Warning: Homophobia. Kuroo meets Bokuto in middle school and for the first time in his short life can feel his heartbeat. Bokuto was looking at him with the same confusion and happiness. All good vibes ended five minutes later when another player commented on how gross they were and should cure this. But does being in love is a really bad thing? Even if it between the same gender?

Let me be drunk for now (5 chapters) Publish AU created by @bringmemyqueen I like this idea so I gonna write something in it. Daichi has enough of his work, of people in his work. Why he seems to attract only men? Doesn’t he deserve some nice lady waiting for him at home? So every night he goes to a bar to drink and forget about his coworkers. He doesn’t know that this nice guy who keeps talking to him while drinking his beer is an author who works under Oikawa. But Iwaizumi is nice and his hands are warm when he touches him.

Where is my fun (one shot) Kenma prefers to stay home and play his videogames. It is his day off, so he has plans of not going out all day. But his friend has a different idea and god. Kenma can’t refuse him.

Bad Guy (one shot) It all started as a simple admiration. Watching Sawamura in action gave him chills. Even his old captain didn;t made him feel this way. He wanted to be tamed by this plain captain so he went to Karasuno to just see the object of his obsession, no big plans for it. Then this weird duo was screaming to him to leave their Queen alone and he barely remembered that cute glasses girl he was focused at Karasuno’s Captain that looked at him with such intensity that Terushima wanted to crawl to him and beg for something he never wanted to do before.

That is freaking long. XD Thank for reading :)

In MHA I wish i could write for different pairing alone fics but it just didn’t click in with me to try it. I’m still try to figure out some characters so their appearing in my fic won’t be a total disaster. (I’m looking at you Inasa xD)

#my stuff #aokuro #chrisawa #bkdk #bakudeku #iwadai #kurodai #terudai #bokuro #kenhima

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datingsimreviews · 6 years ago

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Hustle Cat

Hustle Cat is a Short but cute dating sim that lets you choose your gender and date either male or female characters!

Beware spoilers incoming!!!

Summary:

So first of all I’d like to say I very much appreciate having a game where you can date girls as a girl. That always makes me happy to see.

Hustle Cat is about a cat café which is actually a coven of witches. The employees are cursed to be cats when they leave the café unless they can figure out their own individual magic. Each route focuses on a character discovering their true selves, a bit of romance with the main character and their chosen partner dating and defeating this rust witch named Natch that’s trying to get the café for himself.

It’s a good game, but it’s very short. Compared to other dating sims I played each path felt kind of rushed, I wanted more information on the characters and more development, but I very much appreciated the fact that there were cute cats and that this was a very pro LGBT game.

Not everything is perfect though. I encountered a lot of bugs while playing which hampered my enjoyment. My game crashed once minimum every route. Luckily they had a great auto save feature so I barely lost any progress but it feels like the auto save feature was there for the crashing. I wish the crashes just didn’t happen. There’s also images in the gallery that are glitched or at least all walkthroughs say you can’t find anything because they’re glitched.

The protagonist:

Avery is our protagonist and you can choose their skin tone and gender which is fun. You would think that with so many choices this protagonist would be someone you could project on and all. And I’m sure it’s easy for some people to project on Avery but I had a little trouble because I couldn’t change Avery’s name despite the game not being voiced and the fact that Avery’s magical talent is trash. It’s funny to think about but it doesn’t scream epic to me. I like it, a lot of people would have the magical power of “bending trash” but I wish we had seen more of it. Avery’s never able to beat Nacht the rust witch on their own despite their forceful nature. I would have loved to see the power in the player character.

Avery’s fine though.

Landry:

Landry was the first character I romanced, a sweet and sensitive sort of guy who helps you during work. He likes building cat trees which is fun.

Out of all the guys Landry has the most backstory I think or at least, the most “feels complete” backstory. Landry is an Adept so he has innate magical ability that lets him see through glamorous. He saw a kid at a bar once who was a witch and was trying to be invisible and the kid cursed him in to “have his heart explode if he ever lost his temper.” He felt a burning in his heart and ran off and met the owner of the cat café who’s solution to the problem was to double curse him into a cat??? Idk why this guy’s solution to everything is to turn it into a cat.

Landry hates magic because of this so he’s reluctant to learn magic from you. He eventually does and develops powerful lightning magic. He finds the kid and after a fight the two talk it out and kinda become friends? Turns out the kid just cursed him to have heartburn for an hour and he panicked.

He’s pretty strong and I like the side character of the kid in his route. I also like how he and the main heroine love pizza together. His route feels the most complete.

Hayes:

Hayes is the introverted barista character. I always like the shy glasses types so I was really interested in romancing him, and it was nice to see his character type!!! He’s got horrible anxiety which is why he doesn’t really talk to people and enjoys being a cat to de-stress. His anxiety is portrayed as an actual mental disorder instead of just cute shyness and he and the main character learn good coping techniques to help him through it.

His magic is to…Make anything he speaks through Poems happen??? It sounds OP and I’m not quite sure how it works but I would love to see how his magic developed more. He liked writing poems but if he messes his poems up and can’t find a rhyme his body turns into static.

I love that despite his anxiety he loves big romantic gestures. That’s cool.

Finley:

Finley was my favorite character because her interactions and dialogue just felt so organic. Once the main character and her got into a romantic relationship her relationship felt like a real relationship, or at least something I would like to experience. When she thinks that the main character and her might not make it she asks if they live if Avery will cosplay with her.

Finley’s really into video games, and is kinda nerdy. In the other routes she ships the main character and the person they’re pursuing. She’s also just really bubbly.

She’s the social media expert and to get traffic for the café she’s become an internet famous cat because she can control what her internet persona can do to do cat stunts that normally wouldn’t be online. Good for her monetizing that curse for cash.

She can block people in real life or report them, that’s her magic. If someone doesn’t really care about the internet though she has to come up with a phrase that resonates with them in the same way #blocked does.

I also like how at the end of her story she and the main character become vigilante superheroes.

Mason:

Another lady character! And this time she’s the silent and buff type. I loved Mason in the other routes because she was the only one who didn’t learn magic and still stood against Nacht because he never seemed to predict someone would punch him and was just so strong.

She does end up learning magic in her route (fire magic) but I’m not sure why it’s fire. Everyone else had something else that mimicked their personality or what they liked to do besides Landry. Mason’s really into cooking and I thought she’d have cooking magic.

Her route was very sweet and made me cry. It focused on her and her grandpa and how he thinks she’s just a delinquent so they don’t talk anymore so now to spend time with him she’s been visiting him as a cat instead. It was sweet to make them close again. But it was also the route where I realized how short the game was, or just how short it felt.

Mason was sweet and I love the muscle-y lady type but I would have loved more development between her and the main lead. I just wanted a whole lot more.

Reese:

Reese is Graves’s Apprentice and the only one who knows about magic before all this. I always wondered in the other routes why he turned into a cat if the reason they turned into cats was because they weren’t practicing magic.

In his route you learn that despite his boasting he’s not very good at magic because he’s practicing his father’s type of magic- drawing. His father is a designer and loves to draw. Reese’s talents actually have to do with sewing though and he develops sewing magic, which lets him open up portals or enchant clothing.

I wanted to see more of his magic actually happen because I’m still not sure the rules of his sewing magic. But his route was nice. He felt like he played off of Avery’s stubborn personality well.

He’s kind of a tsundere and very full of himself. In the other routes he has a crush on Graves despite knowing him all his life so it’s nice to help him out of that. In his route you barely talk about his crush on Graves and it’s only implied in the other routes. It feels like there should have been more drama concerning the fact that he has a crush on someone else in his own route.

Graves:

The final character is Graves the manager of the cat café and the oldest character (I’m not sure how old but there’s definitely a significant age gap there). He’s the one who cursed everyone into being a cat and the reasons weren’t clear until his route. I was excited to see all the secrets be uncovered like why Nacht is after him and why he doesn’t really teach you anything and why he curses people.

In his route however it feels short and rushed. His and Nacht’s relationship is only implied. It could have possibly been romantic and Nacht was just a jealous ex who turned to hunting people because he was mad??? I’m not sure.

He explains he cursed everyone to be cats because witches can sense magic and they weren’t strong enough to defend themselves so he glamoroued them. And apparently he’s cursed to not talk about magic??? I’m not sure his route just feels so rushed.

He himself isn’t a bad character. He acts very gothic and vampire like when in reality he’s not a vampire or scary he’s just a dorky LARPer. It’s funny. His magic is cat magic so to deal with Nacht he takes Avery’s advice to just curse him into a cat. When his solution to everything before was to turn it into a cat. Should have come up with that yourself buddy.

His route was by far the weakest for me, not only because it felt extremely short and didn’t answer a lot of my questions but also because I couldn’t get into the romance. There’s this line he uses when he learns Avery’s 19 where he’s like “I had no idea, you’re so mature!” which is just a classic…bad line to make people feel like they’re older and get in an age gap relationship.

I feel like he could have been done all right but he didn’t gel with me.

Overall the game is a good game. Very short but cute especially if you like cats. I really wish there was just…more content in the game though. But it’s very LGBT friendly which definitely is cool!!! I’m always desperate for w/w content in dating sims because it’s rare to come by. So thank you Hustle Cat for that. And I’m sure other people feel represented by it too.

The bugs definitely annoyed me though. Also side note that I realized while writing this review, the gallery is very clunky and not organized by characters. And in a dating sim that’s definitely something that they usually have.

#hustle cat #dating sim review #lgbt dating sims

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the-bounce-back · 5 years ago

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THE CONFIDENCE CHRONICLES IV - CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CRAFT

This is post 4/5 of my “Confidence Chronicles” series, in which I discuss the mindsets, actions and thought processes I’ve applied to build/rebuild my confidence in different aspects of my life. The goal of these 5 posts is for you readers to be able to apply relevant points to your own insecurities in order to combat them, and hopefully aid in building your own confidence over time.

_____________

Oooh, check me out with the post consistency. That’s how you know it’s a new year and decade, baby!

I’d like to start off by saying that I have been excited to write this post in particular for quite a long while now - literally since about July last year. However, my life was a bit of a mess at the time, and I didn’t want to put the previous post on hold, so it had to wait until now.

Maybe this was for the best, though - this post is going to be about confidence in your craft and the projects you put out into the world. Although I was literally planning on writing this post around 7 months ago, I can honestly say that my confidence levels in my own projects have never been higher than right now, so writing about it now makes more sense. See, procrastination helps!

Anyways. To kick this post off, I want to take some time to acknowledge my many talents. Besides my *impeccable* blogging skills, not many people know that I’ve dabbled in acting and drumming in the past, and I am currently also writing a book (more about that in a future post) and getting back into interior design, learning new languages and drawing. These are my current favourite pastimes, and what I say to people whenever I’m asked what my “hobbies” are.

The reason why I’m sharing this is because I want people to understand that unless you are vocal about your passions, how the hell are other people meant to be able to support and appreciate your work? It goes without saying that bigging yourself up and showing off your talents can feel extremely vain if you are a naturally reserved/humble person - but my hope is that this post will teach you how to be more confident in your work.

I am very excited to share this post because I am blessed to have friends of what feels like millions of different talents. Actors, musicians, podcasters, poets, youtubers, models, MUA’s, chefs, hair stylists… the list goes on, and it makes me so proud to see that they are all in their respective creative bags right now - so this post is somewhat dedicated to them as well if they ever have feelings of insecurity in their talents.

I will be talking about what I have found to be the most important factors of being confident in your creativity, not letting criticism (constructive or otherwise) make you want to give up, and getting over the initial fear of putting something you’ve created out into the world, because let’s face it; sharing something you’ve created can be incredibly vulnerable. You are essentially sharing a private aspect of yourself for the world to critically analyse, and it’s normal to find this daunting - however, it’s all about how you handle it.

Based on my own experiences and anonymous examples from my friends, I will try my best to explain how best to develop a deep sense of confidence and pride in your creative endeavours.

1. Ensure that you are doing your craft out of passion.

Regardless of if you are creating content solely for your own enjoyment or to capitalise on it, I definitely think that it is imperative that what you are doing fills you with joy and that you are excited to do the activity. This may sound like a no-brainer, but I feel like I see a lot of people nowadays forcing themselves to pursue certain endeavours due to influences from social media, or are forcing themselves to capitalise off a hobby they used to love, but now hate because of the added pressure of having to create content/products for the target audience.

This is partly why I am apprehensive about ways of monetising this blog - or any of my other creative projects, for that matter. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind, but my biggest fear is starting to resent an activity I once loved because of external pressure such as deadlines, not having full creative control and having to “tread carefully” with the messages I put out, if that makes sense.

Pursuing a hobby for the sole purpose of others is never going to make you feel that what you’re creating is good. Constantly trying to please the masses as opposed to just doing whatever makes you feel happy is always going to make you feel anxious and scared of the reception, I think. Instead, I’d suggest that you evaluate what is more important to you: approval or enjoyment. If it’s the former, then by all means… keep forcing yourself to pursue hobbies that may or may not give you recognition. Who knows - maybe you’ll blow up and get the sponsorships, money and fans that you want, and I don’t even mean this in a petty or sarcastic way. If that’s what you set out to do, then I’d be very happy for you.

However, I reiterate: pursuing a hobby for anyone other than yourself runs a great risk of becoming a burden in the long run, as well as a risk of losing your self confidence when you don’t get the attention or accolades that you believe that you deserve.

I think I have an issue with the above because it relates back to past posts in which I’ve discussed humans’ desperation to be approved and acknowledged by their peers. It alludes to a deeply rooted insecurity in yourself, your abilities and your belief in said abilities - I only say this because this literally used to be me before deciding to sack everyone off and do whatever the f*ck I wanted.

Personally, my dream scenario would be for people to find a hobby that they are truly passionate about and that they can capitalise off in a way that doesn’t restrict their creative process and that is on their own terms. Because, let’s be honest - receiving money and accolades doing something that you truly love is a major confidence boost… regardless of if the money and recognition motivates you or not. But the bottom line is that your confidence in your creativity should not be rooted in anything else but your own joy.

2. Appoint a/some constructive critic(s).

It goes without saying that true confidence comes from ~*wItHiN*~, but there is nothing wrong with looking to friends and/or family for opinions and support. In fact, I’d even go as far as saying that having someone who understands your vision and wants you to achieve your goals is a must.

This someone is a crucial part of the creative process, because they will ideally motivate (aka bully...exactly like the gif above) you into meeting the deadlines you set for yourself, give you honest feedback and give you a kick up the arse on the days where you don’t really feel like doing anything. They will remind you of the reason why you started your project when you feel like giving up - and having someone like this in your corner that unconditionally believes in you is a massive ego boost.

Something that’s even better than having one person in your corner is having multiple people in your corner. And something that’s even better than having multiple people in your corner, is having multiple people in your corner that are also creative and have their own projects going on. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a group of people with the exact same hobby as you (although this definitely helps too!), but surrounding yourself with people that are also making things happen for themselves gives you a beautiful sense of community. I can only speak for myself, but forming friendships with other creatives has definitely helped me come out of my shell. I still remember when I first “pitched” my blog idea to my friends - thinking that I’d get a lukewarm response (because let’s face it… a lot of people unfortunately don’t enjoy reading anymore) - but the positive feedback and support I got is what gave me the confidence to actually start. And when I was on my hiatus, I’d be harassed for updates on when my next post was coming, and brutally dragged when I didn’t post on the days I had promised. The same goes for their projects as well - it was only recently that we had to bully someone for not releasing their podcast when they said they would.

Another aspect of having a group of critics that believe in you is the motivation you get from seeing them putting their plans into action. Honestly. Seeing my friends’ work ethics and how hard they grind makes me want to be better - not only to keep up, but for myself in general.

The bottom line is that although you don’t need people in your corner to get started, it is definitely a major asset to have. You should be confident that your work is great by your own accord, but getting it confirmed - or receiving feedback for improvements - is just another key to improving your confidence.

3. Do not be afraid of vulnerability (if your craft requires you to do so).

Believe me… I get it. Putting out something you’ve created for the entire planet to see can be incredibly daunting, especially if a lot of emotion has gone into it. It feels like you’re putting a very dainty and vulnerable part of you out on a perilous battlefield, out in the open where nowhere to take cover. This is where a lot of us (myself included) tend to overthink sharing our work, or in some cases chose not to share it at all. If only you guys knew how many draft posts have ended up in the bin because I was worried about being judged (they’re being revived though, fear not!)... it’s mad how much fear and anxiety can hold you back from being great.

This is where it’s important to understand the power of being able to be vulnerable, honest and open through your selected medium. As cringe as it sounds, opening your heart to the world and letting people see your insecurities, unresolved issues and things you’d much rather hide leads to the situations power over you significantly diminishing. And the more you do it, the closer you get to the situation no longer being able to hurt you anymore - because once it’s out in the open, nothing or no one can actually tell you sh*t. Once you get to the point of no longer caring who knows what your internal struggles are, I promise that you feel insanely confident and empowered, because you are no longer living in fear.

Another beautiful aspect of vulnerability in relation to self-confidence is that ever so often, you get to hear that your work has genuinely helped, inspired or motivated someone. I know I said that validation and approval from others isn’t the best reason for pursuing a hobby, but this is different in the sense that you’re doing your thing regardless of if you get positive feedback for it - the recognition is truly just a bonus, but a contributor to increased confidence all the same.

Hopefully, utilising these three methods will make you feel a great deal more confident about your creative projects/side hustles for the following reasons:

You’re doing this project primarily because it brings you joy.

The way I see it, taking time out of your day to do something that makes you genuinely happy is an act of self-care and incredibly empowering, in the sense that we are choosing to not be distracted and led astray by the infinite amount of garbage media that is constantly in our faces due to social media. Being able to make time on a project - whatever it may be - that brings you happiness and engages your right brain is a massive blessing in our age group, as we take on more and more responsibilities that eat up our time and drain us.

A cute metaphor for this could be that your day to day routine is a desert. Going to work/uni, doing work/uni related projects, doing chores around the house and all your other responsibilities is walking around for hours in the sun, making us drained, famished and parched. Our hobbies should be like a much-welcomed oasis, providing us with water, food, shade and somewhere to recharge (joy, inspiration, motivation and a well-deserved break for the brain).

Okay, that was a bit cringe. But you get the point - allowing ourselves to have something in this hard life to enjoy is a confidence boost in itself.

After paying attention to the feedback you get, you’ll become even more skilled at your craft over time.

It’s no conundrum that experience equals expertise, and that constantly improving your creative process in accordance with feedback from someone you know understands your vision will make you more sure of yourself in the long run.

Think about it: if you’re already doing something you genuinely love, and you have a trusted person/trusted people in your life to turn to for genuine opinions, how can you not win?

By “winning”, I mean your work getting progressively better over time, combined with a feeling of security and support from your peers. I mean becoming more emotionally, mentally, spiritually and maybe even financially (if you’re so inclined) stable through doing something you genuinely love. The prize is peace of mind, feeling supported, and full creative control of your work - and I honestly can’t think of anything more satisfying.

You’re taking control of your doubts and insecurities and flipping them into assets.

For me, this is a no brainer. What could possibly be more confidence-boosting than overcoming insecurities and being able to use them to your advantage in your creative endeavours? It’s literally what my entire blog is based upon, and writing about things that have caused me a great deal of pain in the past has ended up being a very therapeutic and cathartic experience, as well as extremely empowering - in the sense that I don’t allow certain situations have control over me anymore. I can now focus on continuing to heal, and help others who may come across my work in the meantime.

Having a personal project that challenges you to face and overcome your insecurities is something that I think everyone should try to have. It might get hard at times and extremely tempting to quit, but once your work is ready for the world to see I promise you that you’ll get a boost in confidence.

By keeping these three points in mind, I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll feel infinitely more confident in your creative projects. Knowing that you’re putting your entire heart into a project that you are sharing with the whole world, knowing that you have supporters that you can trust with honest opinions and feedback and knowing that you’ve stayed true to yourself regardless of if the norm enjoys is an ideal state of mind to be in.

On a final note, I want to reiterate that there is no “wrong” or “right” way to have a hobby and gain confidence from it. This post is just general guidelines that really helped me come out of my shell creatively, and I’d like to think it’d work for others too. However, you know best how comfortable you are with exposing your work and what your existing confidence levels are like, so please proceed accordingly (and don’t blame me if things go tits up because you decided not to take the time to listen to yourself!).

Love,

Liv

#selfhelp #selflove #goals #empowerment

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guess-ill-die-again · 6 years ago

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top ten kagepro songs?? 0:

*rubs hands* u now i read your whole wall of text about this? well now its my turn c:< good thing u specified the number tho bc oof

warning half of this post is just about Shinigami Record bc i’m looking WAAY too deep into it but honestly i love doing that gbdhsg that part has over 500 words and im not sorry

Disclaimer: The first few don’t have numbers bc I just CANNOT choose a favorite ok ngsdhjgs

Shinigami Record - I’m gonna start with this one because i was already planning on making a post about how underappreciated this song is… half of this post is probably gonna be about this song alone so i might as well put it as nuumbr one tbh

Musically it’s really simple and just so amazingly gentle. I feel like the slow piano and the way its played in the verses helps to convey Azami’s feelings really well. It starts as just a bunch of lonely piano notes, but then as Azami finds someone who loves her, feelings grow and change, so does the guitar replace the piano for the second verse. Then the harmonies for the part when Azami creates the Kagerou Daze make it feel not only more mystical but also give it more emotion. She creates it filled with love for her family after all, this part needed to have a lot of emotion in it! But then it quiets down and the lonely piano returns.. the guitar and piano interlace each other(i cant find a good english word for it im sorry) while Azami’s voice is growing more unsure and then ‘gasps’ with the realization, in a way. The harmonies return and we hear both the lonely piano and the love-filled guitar. Azami is really conflicted and u can HEAR that!! Then it bursts with the pitch change and you can just hear how heartbroken she is! the highest note really reminds me of when people are trying to sing but they’re crying so their technique is egh but it has so much emotion?? idk maybe its just IAs voice… and then after she sings “I still love you” theres a drop that sounds like slamming doors and the guitar is GONE. It ends on the same lonely piano we started with(different pitch blahblah i know ok) but there’s also the added noise that you can either hear traffic in, OR the sea/ocean waves. I KNOW im reading way too much into this but traffic could allude to our time, where the main story is set and the fact that what Azami did has consequences reaching much further than she could have ever imagined but also that despitwat happened, most people don’t even know about her story and everythings… well, normal. The sea waves would be just like the world she’s come to love and she’s leaving it all behind i guess lolThe way this song tells Azami’s story is uh, very simplified, but i think it works well. It gives you enough information to feel sorry for her even if it doesn’t really explain much. We only see Azami’s perspective so i’m not surprised or disappointed that reasons behind Tsukihiko’s disappearance arent really stated. Also i’m kind of glad it doesn’t delve deeper into the story, because i personally really didn’t like these chapters of the manga at all lol bc i didnt agree with the characterization and it didnt show Azami’s loneliness as much and kind of ruined the magic. I like Azami’s story when its still told as a kind of fairytale…This is also probably THE best Kagepro song in terms of tuning, too. idk what happened but i feel like here it’s much more soft than the other songs which makes it all the more enjoyable.

one day i’ll write a full essay on this…

I’m not gonna go that deep into any of the other ones dont worry

Remind Blue - Easily the best song on the Mekakucity Reload album. While i adore Additional Memory as well, my heart belongs to Remind Blue. Because the range isn’t that big, Miku’s voice and Jin’s tuning of don’t get overbearing. Im also a sucker for lyrics connecting to past events or symbols so the whole time reading the translation i was just lying in bed like kermit surrounded by heart emojis. I may or may not make a cover of this one…

Lost Time Memory - I feel like all that could be said about this song has already been said so I’ll just say i love it. I was introduced to it through Juby’s english cover(Classical Rock Arr. version!! thats important, i love this arrangement probably more than the original but the dude who made it just doesnt have a nice voice for this song… Juby’s not perfect but this cover’s good enough) an really this is the song that made me want to learn about Kagepro so there’s a lot of pure nostalgia connected to this one.

4. Ayano’s Theory of Happiness - whenever i tell someone new about kagepro i always say this is the song that makes me cry and laugh the hardest. I laugh a lot because of the tv anime version bc lmao every time i see it i LOSE IT gndnsdgs The reason i cry is quite obvious i think, but i still feel the need to specify it’s because of the lyric “so I hope you can love tomorrow”. It’s just such a simple thing but it makes me tear up 99% of the time. And like the thing is, the last couple of lines aren’t directed at any particular character either so its like she’s singing to us. She hopes we can love tomorrow as well… and just for you Ayano, I will try.

Also MARiA’s cover is the best one i barely listen to the original now lmao

5. Summertime Record - did i mention im a sucker for lyrics where the character is looking back at what happened? bc yeah i am. This song is really dear to my heart for some reason so much so that when at a camp with the choir ive been in for like 6years we were supposed to make a little song about it for the last campfire, i managed to get my friends to write the lyrics to this song with me and i think that in itself is very fitting to this song. and just.. yeah the whole thing just feels very welcoming and I love Haruka so

6. Children Record - BOYS👏 AND👏 GIRLS👏 yeah this song staight up slaps and i love it (altho i mostly listen to the version with MARiA bc the tuningin this one :’) its realy good go listen) and uh yeah its just a really good opening to the series! idk what to say exactly so uh really lets not drag this out

7. Additional Memory - so when this song came out i had to lay down for like a week bc just… woah yeah ok!! all the motifs and melodies from other songs just hit me so HARD and THE PV OH MY GOOOD i was SCREAMING! and youre absolutely right about the lyrics!! “if this were all a misunderstanding, i don’t want to hear it” just HITS and HURTS and GOD YEAH

8. Kagerou Days - ahh classic above classics…. the one where you’ve set your expectations for Hibiya to just be a good childhood friend only to have it be crushed by other media… its just a great base for angsty AUs for anytwo cahracters that care about each other really and i love it! also like when i first listenedi was like what and when i realized whats happening i was just… poetic cinema guy but with hearts i really love angst huh

9. Headphone Actor - I don’t know what to say apart from I love Takane, I love the whole Harutaka story, I love the metaphor and the music and I have a little lesbian moment every time i listen to LiSA’s version of the song(THE WAY SHE SHINGS “Dokoka e to mukatteru”??? IM TOO GAY FOR THIS SHIT I CANT) and its 3:30am so i cant think anymore okbut god i love LiSA’s voice

10. Never Lost Word - ah the kinnie really jumps out here lmao this is the song i listened o and was just !! it me!! which… NOT a good thing if not for the last verse lol but yeah i just identify with kido a lot so like…i just really felt this song back when i first listened to it and even now i still do… just… yeah. and i just really like it in every way i guess lol

ALSO Shoutout to Gunjo Rain and Dead and Seek for beeing other tragically underappreciated Kagepro songs bc they dont have PVs

#thannk u!! this was rly fun actually #Konoha's State of the world should have been there...... and toumei answer....... ehh #i feel bad for not includiing some others too.......#also #sorry for any errors english is not my first language #my post #asks #wintertimerecord #song talk

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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 7 years ago

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idk if you would be the best to ask, but would it be offensive to characterize a lesbian character as very flirty? I know the whole “promiscuous bisexual” is a trope to steer clear of, but does it extend to lesbians as well? I’ve only recently realized my own bisexuality, and this is going to be my first attempt actually writing characters who are explicitly not-straight, so I apologize if this sounds silly and ignorant ;; (Also, lesbian love triangle-yay or nay?)

This is a broad statement, but if you’re queer, I don’t think you need to worry about stereotypical portrayals of queer characters. I’ll explain what I mean.

In straight media, stereotypes are harmful because they dehumanize us.

Male homosexuality was once synonymous with pedophilia, violence, and deviancy. Modern portrayals of gay men, though defanged, are often degrading, showing them as sassy fashion accessories for heterosexual women.

Bisexuals were, and are, depicted as promiscuous disease-spreaders, a stereotype dating back to the AIDS academic when bisexual men were blamed for spreading the disease to innocent straight girls.

Lesbians are either hypersexualized or completely undesirable, pillow-lipped succubi who exist for male enjoyment or androgynous brutes who couldn’t get a man to begin with.

Trans women are depicted as perverted men in women’s clothing, like Buffalo Bill or Norman Bates.

These stereotypes are cruel caricatures of real queer people. But the thing is, “stereotypical” queer people exist and deserve to be represented.

Feminine, flamboyant gay men, who survived persecution from their own loved ones and proudly broadcast themselves as a form of rebellion.

Flirtatious lesbians who play with your hair and always smell nice (oh, God, yes), butch lesbians with crew cut hair and leather jackets and motorcycles (also YES.)

Promiscuous bisexuals who love the intimacy of sex and use it as a means of bonding, or who use it to cope with past trauma.

Trans girls who try on their mother’s clothes, an innocent act that harms no one and should be as normalized as it is for cis girls.

All these people exist, and deserve to be depicted. They just deserve to be depicted as complex, benevolent, and human.

Going back to promiscuous bisexuals, you mentioned in your ask that they should be avoided. For straight authors, yes, I’d personally advise against it. For queer authors, I would beg to differ.

In my most recently completed novel, for example, one of the main characters is a polyamorous, bisexual male stripper. In most novels, a character like this would be a punchline, so I decided I wanted to present him with as much empathy, complexity, and humanity as possible.

Not only was he probably the most popular character among my beta readers, but many of them told me how much they could relate to him – and I don’t think any of them were polyamorous strippers.

So going back to your flirty lesbian, it doesn’t really matter if she’s flirtatious, but HOW that flirtation is depicted. If it’s depicted as beguiling, sweet, and charming, hell yes. It’s only when stereotypes rob a character of their humanity that they become dangerous.

As to love triangles, this is a tough one, because I personally can’t stand love triangles. That said, I could definitely stomach a love triangle if the lesbian gets the girl in the end. I would recommend against it if the girl in question ends up with a guy.

In closing, if you’re queer, you already know you’re human. Even if you only recently realized you’re bi, you’ve unknowingly suffered from the aforementioned stereotypes and dehumanization your entire life. This means that you’re best suited to depict your characters with the humanity they deserve.

Here’s a link to my masterpost to get you started.

I hope this helps, and happy writing! <3

#caff's writing tips #writing tips #characterization #queer characters #lgbtq+ characters #homophobia for ts #transfobia for ts #bifobia for ts #lesphobia for ts #long post for ts #Anonymous

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kanralovesu · 7 years ago

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Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens and How Not to Do Multi-Threaded Storylines [First Impressions]

There is more to telling a story than just a script and Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens’ first episode proves that. This is a show with exceptional moment-to-moment dialogue between characters and a strong set of personalities which are enjoyable to watch bounce off of each other. However, the show does ultimately fail to create an interesting story and ends up feeling bland in most parts except for a few stand out moments. I want to break down where this show fails in terms of script and style with the caveat that I still think its a solid 7/10 anime just from the strong character writing alone and I imagine it will only get better when the core plot kicks in.

I think the biggest failure of the first episode is its use of non-linear, multi-threaded storytelling. I am an absolute sucker for this type of thing and up until now I haven’t seen any media which I thought was actively harmed by its inclusion. Unfortunately, this show is the exception. Lets start with the multi-threaded part, because that is the biggest sin it commits. The constant cutting between different threads only serves to complicate what could have been an easy to follow story. I think the main reason for this is the shear number of cuts between threads. Almost every other scene we cut to a different thread and sometimes those scenes weren’t even that long. We’re never given enough time to take in our surroundings and begin to understand the flow of a single thread. This gives the show a chaotic feel which doesn’t seem to be what they’re going for considering the calm and cool disposition of the main character.

A second negative consequence of the threading was the shear number of character we were introduced to in a short time. Some of these, like the hacker and the pickpocket, weren’t even that important except as one off information dumps for the main character. If they had just focused on this side of the investigation, that would have been enough characters to keep track of, but couple that with the backstory for that multi-personality disorder villain (with introducing The Revenger as a key part of that) and you’ve just got too much. Compare this to the first episodes of Durarara, which they’re clearly trying to take from. In Drrr we first get to see the routine of our 3 high school students and then in the next episode we see Celty and more of the cast. Instead of showing us small bits of each and every character, they choose a few to make important in each episode and then eventually worked up to having them all interact in complicated ways.

I feel like the non-linear story was just another ripple which made the story harder to follow. The best executed part of this was the way the beginning and endings lined up in parallel. It was very clear that what we saw at the beginning of the episode was a flashforward and the ending took that and subverted our expectations for how that interaction was going to play out. That is how you correctly use non-linear stories: you make it clear when the switch happens and you make it meaningful in terms of implanting audience expectations.

Now lets switch to the other side of the plane which is the backstory for our multi-personalized office worker / killer. Because his backstory didn’t complete within the episode itself, there were only tangential ties to the main story such as the baseball references. It was just flat out unnecessary except from the perspective of introducing one of their well done characters. However, if they wanted to do him justice they should have focused on him for an entire episode and done his backstory completely throughout that (ideally I think this would be episode 2 and the first would focus on the main guy).

My final gripe with this show is something I’m less schooled in but wanted to point out anyway: the music. Musical cues are extremely important to create cool moments, but the musical cues in this show felt extremely half-assed to put it lightly. The OP is very good but the OST seems extremely weak. This is coming from someone who loves jazz, especially when used as background music for anime. When used correctly, you get shows like Cowboy Bebop which just ooze with style. From what I’ve seen of this anime, it appears to me as if they attempted to do something similar but didn’t have the talent on board to do so whether that be actual composer or the person in charger of editing the music into the story.

Before I wrap things up I just wanted to say that I will definitely be following this show regardless of these complaints. This genre is right up my alley and I’m happy we’re at least getting something even if it is a little subpar. However, I think the things I’ve mentioned will put any normal anime fan off watching this show. Its not good so only those starved for the genre should be consuming it. I also wanted to reiterate that there were some genuinely good moments mainly related to the multiple personality villain and the cross dressing assassin, both of which are extremely interesting characters. I also enjoyed the balloon pop stunt pulled by the main character. That told me all I needed to know about how intelligent he was. A lesser show would have dumped some exposition about him being smart and those two villains being crazy or upset about their jobs, but this one kept things very tight in terms of script (although the part where he takes out the photo of his sister was extremely bad). Anyway, I definitely think that overall this show is above average and is definitely a better watch than your 500th generic isekai show if you’re looking for something original and well scripted.

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