#…………..and that’s about it so far HAHAHA

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt behind the cut; got some more "draft stud" for y'all. No real reason, haha, just because I actually wrote a pretty decent chunk more of this than I ended up having space to post for the mystery slots last week and like, it SEEMS like so far this WIP is up a few of your ( crime ) alleys. Like juuuuust maybe, hahaha. So I took a lil' writing break and got it all Tumblr-able for all of your tire-thieving, crime-lording needs! ❤️ content notes/warnings: omegaverse, family-planning via attempting to recruit a crime lord who is legally your dead-brother-by-adoption to knock up your best (boy)friend, and Tim Drake's total lack of respect for both personal boundaries and Jason's impending migraine. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Jesus Christ,” Jason groans, burying his face in one hand. He doesn’t even bother asking when or where the little creep got ahold of any of his DNA to test that. Fucking–probably off the damn memorial, for all he knows. Or, well–admittedly "at a crime scene" is an equally likely option. “You know if I were legally alive, we’d be legally siblings, right? Technically we are legally siblings.” 

“I actually think it’s pretty common to ask siblings for favors like this?” Tim says. “Or cousins, maybe.” 

“Yeah, the actually related ones!” Jason says in exasperation. “Or at least the ones who aren’t trying to drop-kick each other into either early retirement or a life sentence in goddamn Blackgate!” 

“I mean I really don’t think we have that kind of relationship anyway, considering, but also I’m not the one who you would ideally be knocking up,” Tim says with a shrug. “Also full disclosure, I don’t actually think Blackgate could handle you so there’s not much point in trying to send you there. Maybe if I just needed a free weekend or something, I guess.” 

“Why did Batgirl turn you down on this, Dream Warrior?” Jason asks, half-eyeing him.

“I’m going to blame either David Cain or Lady Shiva for that,” Tim says. “Probably Shiva, considering we were effectively asking her to sire a pup and then not actually be their parent. I didn’t think there was a high chance of her saying yes, honestly, but she was both our immediate first picks so it seemed kinda . . . I dunno, disingenuous not to ask her?” 

“Yeah, obviously she would've been,” Jason snorts as he unwraps his sandwich to tear a bite off. It's goddamn delicious, which MM's always is, but he's still vaguely annoyed because it's goddamn Tim Drake who brought it. “So what pick in the stud draft am I, eleven? Twelve? Lucky number thirteen?” 

He cannot actually imagine how many people must've turned Tim down for him to be here, so–

“No, you're second,” Tim replies, shaking his head. Jason stares blankly at him past his mouthful of wafflewich. “If you say no, I’ll be calling Super-Man, and if he says no then–” 

“Superman?!” Jason sputters. 

“No, Super-Man,” Tim “corrects” like he somehow thinks he’s actually saying a different name. “Kong Kenan. How was that not self-evident?” 

“Because it sounds exactly the fucking same, that’s how!” Jason says in exasperation, though that does make more sense. Definitely more sense than Clark, anyway, because that was definitely a what the actual fuck EVEN moment. 

“It really doesn’t, but this is getting off-topic,” Tim says, then gestures meaningfully with a hand and asks, “Which is: what are your thoughts on sperm donation? 

“Sounds boring,” Jason replies frankly before taking a swig of coffee. 

“Oh, that was a metaphor, Kon said he’s fine either way but I’d really prefer you actually fuck him,” Tim clarifies with a much more meaningful gesture. 

Jason stares blankly at him again. Tim continues to look unfazed. 

“. . . is this a kink thing, Beyond Thunderdome?” Jason asks finally, for lack of any other reasonable explanation.

“This is a ‘I don’t want my omega to feel like a lab experiment for his first breeding heat because he’s worried about making me feel emasculated’ thing,” Tim says. 

“. . . yeah, fair enough,” Jason allows, taking another sip of his coffee. Still goddamn delicious; still Tim Drake-related annoying. “Jesus, though, you could’ve led with that. You know I’m a fucking beta, though, my chances of successfully knocking up your boy in one cycle are not that impressive.” 

“Well, that’s the useful thing about cycles,” Tim says with another little shrug. “They, you know, cycle.” 

“You want me to fuck your omega through probably multiple heats?” Jason asks, still more than a little incredulous about the idea. Again, he was not even aware that those two were dating. He was not even aware that Tim was into invulnerable and insatiable touch-based telekinetic omegas built like sexy industrial farm equipment with a very public history of “let me prove I’m good enough” issues, though actually when he thinks through that full sentence in his head it’s admittedly difficult to make an argument for why he would not be. 

Maybe if he was very, very gay or very, very asexual, Jason guesses. 

“Well, if it goes well this time, we’d probably ask you to do it again in a couple years anyway, so why not?” Tim says. “Kon wants to have more than one.” 

“Oh, so twice as many multiple-heat fucks?” Jason says. Jesus, this little freak of human nature. 

“Maybe three times, depending?” Tim says, tilting his head to one side with a considering expression. “Kon was designed to be hyper-fertile but given I have heard of exactly one Kryptonian ever that had a littermate it seems like Kryptonians might have a lower chance of conceiving litters than humans do, so we don’t really know how that might go yet.” 

Jason pauses for a long moment, because all general incredulity and disbelief aside, that sentence contained a red flag the size of a damn bedsheet. Several bedsheets sewn together, in fact. 

Maybe just an entire Bed Bath & Beyond’s worth of bedsheets, actually. 

“‘Designed to be’,” he repeats, and Tim’s expression briefly sours. 

“We’re not going to get into what Paul Westfield’s backup ‘make myself a custom Superman’ plan entailed,” he says. “Especially because he didn’t immediately scrap the thing when Kon came out sixteen and unpresented.” 

“Fucking hell,” Jason says. Well, that definitely explains Tim wanting to make sure Superboy doesn’t feel like a lab experiment while he’s getting bred.

“Mmmhm,” Tim says. 

Jason eyes him for a long moment as he takes another swallow of very good coffee, debating on how stupid this idea is and also if he wants to deal with Bruce’s opinion on him getting involved in it. A counterargument, admittedly, is Superboy’s very pretty smirk and ass you could bounce a giant penny off. 

Though . . . 

“Do you actually factually know if Kryptonians have a lower chance of conceiving litters, or is the prevalence of them having singles potentially just a birthing matrix thing?” he asks. “Because another solid reason I can think of to use one of those besides not risking the dam’s health or life and doing whatever weird ‘genetic optimization’ thing they had going on with 'em is Kryptonians being a lot more likely to conceive litters. Like big litters.” 

“. . . that is a question that I should have thought to investigate sooner,” Tim admits with a slight wince. 

“Y’think, Season of the Witch?” Jason asks dubiously. Tim frowns, tilting his head again and clearly confused, and Jason rolls his eyes. “Third Halloween movie, genius.” 

“Oh,” Tim says. “I was wondering what the names were about.” 

“Terminator, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Mad Max,” Jason says with another roll of his eyes. He did not think calling the guy a bunch of threequel titles was that subtle a dig. “Jesus, kid, watch a movie that didn’t originate on either Netflix or PornHub."

“I don’t watch either of those?” Tim says, wrinkling his nose. 

“You watch porn somewhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking me to knock up your bitch for you,” Jason snorts dubiously, tearing another bite off his sandwich. Who even has that thought process? 

“I’d really prefer you not call him that,” Tim says. 

“Who cares, he’s not even here,” Jason retorts dismissively, waving him off as he chews. 

“Well yeah, I wouldn’t be telling you not to call him a bitch if he was here, because that would actually be helpful,” Tim says reasonably. Jason . . . pauses, and stares at the corner of the wall past Tim’s head. It’s a wall. 

 It . . . sure is a wall, yeah. And also the corner of a wall, yup. 

Wall. 

Jason chews the rest of his bite very slowly and does not allow himself to process the implication that Superboy might like being called a bitch in bed. 

“I’ve never actually heat-partnered anyone before,” he says. “Like I’ve rut-partnered a few people, but I feel like that is likely a significantly different experience. And probably also easier, frankly, given getting most alphas off takes about a fifth of the time and effort as getting most omegas off.” 

“That’s not really a concern,” Tim tells him with another one of those little shrugs. Jason stares at the corner of the wall past his head some more. It is . . . still a wall, yeah. Yup. Definitely still a wall.

What the fuck does that even mean? There is literally no way Tim meant “you wouldn't need to bother getting my omega off while you were breeding him as non-lab-experiment-ly as possible”, because in what fucking world would he have meant that, so like–what? Just . . . what? 

Jason’s brain is unfortunately supplying some very goddamn creative and very goddamn dirty theoretical answers to that question.

[bluequeerio]

Omg I never thought about it that way! Thank you so much for sharing! ^^ This has actually helped me understand myself a bit :)

Personal vent down below:

Ppl can say whatever the fuck they want abt ep 5 and Ragatha (bc the block button exists lol) BUT it helped me realize I was in a toxic relationship 😃 I’ll try not to get into it too much bc it’s, well, personal lol

But anyways, seeing Raggie not being chosen despite all her kindness towards Pomni hit a little too close to home 😅 And as much as it pained me seeing her left alone at the end of the ep and then that Glitch post with her sitting by herself staring off into the beautiful night sky, I think it’s what I needed 😭 Cuz I was like, “good for her, she deserves better than that anyways” which made me go “wait a damn minute…” ajdhjsjdksjs 🫢

Another thing that’s piqued my interest is thinking back on Pomni’s apology at the end of ep 3. Of course I think she meant it but at the same time I’m like “well if she meant that then she hasn’t really shown it…” 😐 And I think this is my thought process bc HAHAHA MY EX WAS LIKE THAT 🤠🔫 For instance, they would make/give me gifts that were kinda the bare minimum, call me pretty/hot, tell me they loved me, and want to kiss me so fucking bad yet when it came to the emotional aspect they would disappear like Jax in the pilot during Kaufmo’s abstraction sequence lmaooooo 💀😵‍💫😞

Notes:

🔮 I DO NOT hate Pomni after this ep, I’m just upset and scared for her lol 😣 Like YES ik she is an adult but she’s hanging out with the guy who thinks Gangle genuinely likes it when he bullies her 😬 I just hope our jester girlie is being cautious at the very least (but it doesn’t seem like it rip 🫤)

🔮 I am also very aware that my ex COULD stumble upon this post, I just don’t gaf anymore 🥴🤧 I think she deserves to know she was actually an awful girlfriend who downright love bombed me, played me, and ripped my heart out of my chest 😓🙄🫩 Seriously I’d rather Jax shoot me in that safari adventure

♡ If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! ♡

Ok so

I personally didn’t see this scene as Ragatha realizing she’s alone

I actually think this is her making the choice to give up on getting closer with Pomni

See, It’s important that we got these moments in between Ragatha realizing Pomni and Jax have grown close enough to act like friends

Between her getting to know about someone she’s supposedly been stuck with for years and still being on good terms with someone she’s felt guilty for treating poorly

Ragatha is actually shown to be growing closer with the others

This is her feeling the warmth and validation she’s been seeking out

She doesn’t need more friends, she’s had some pretty good ones already, and in her obsession to be liked by yet another person has made her forget that a bit

Her brief moment of explosive anger with Pomni (very justified anger I might add) and then witnessing how Pomni was choosing to keep talking with Jax (the one who made her angry in the first place) made her feel betrayed

She’s watching Pomni bond with someone who likes to hurt others

She’s been wanting to get closer with a person who who wants to spend their time with someone who hurts her

So at the end, I think she’s realizing that this is not the kind of person she wants to get close with anymore

[painted-bees]

does each of them have an aspect you find hardest to portray, something you know to be true about them that doesn't find space often enough, things like that?

this is all amazing to read through btw, i've seen a lot of your art and have been meaning to catch up on the actual lore and what's going on (but, you know... life. always happening)

Tess, I just want to depict more in general. But she's what you call a "static" character [does not undergo character development but facilitates the development of other characters around her] and so my brain doesn't really insist on microwaving her nearly as much as it does with thr other two. Even though, in terms of aesthetic theming, she is the most interesting by far haha

For Raf, I microwave him the -most- and there are some really truly ugly aspects of his character that I am very soft on depicting because it is very easy to erode audience trust/empathy for a character like him. Even when I depict his struggles with his mental illness, we're only really see the battles he's able to win or overcome, and not the ones he loses--or is even completely unaware of. [Actually, we ARE seeing one such battle--but it hasn't been identified yet thanks to some unreliable narration hahaha] But I wish I had the balls--or finess--to depict his more unlikeable moments outside of the context of like...an ex or something where he has had time to look back on and reflect upon his behavior. Because he does have...more than his fair share of 'em. But I don't want that to be what he is to the reader.

For Margie, I feel like her struggles and interpersonal relationships play second fiddle to Rafs just because they're a lot more "mundane" and echo a lot of our own lived experiences, so I'm a little less inclined to go into big deep dives abt her because like...it's nothing new to most folks on this website. This website is FULL of people just like Margie. I think that's also why she's so popular on here. But she's got some really deep scars, too, that I'm only just finally starting to unpack properly--after leaving the clearly labled box out for so long wrt her haha So we'll be getting that soon enough.

Also with Margie, I would love to just kinda--show her relationships with her friends and family outside of Raf and Cortes, she actually HAS friends and such that she'll spend weekends and go on outings with!! I just haven't had the interest/motivation to depict any of that [because there are so many OTHER things that are more interesting to me that I'd rather spend the time writing and drawing abt wrt hi-note] haha but I genuinely wish I did.

[slasherflicks999]

i also desperately need to write slasher a proper backstory HAHAHAHA

like yeah he’s immortal he looooooves raw meat he’s a little gay freak we love to see it but like… how did bro get there 🤔🤔🤔 how did he become proxy🤔🤔 we (i) don’t know guys. we must know

[purplink8]

My Lawlight headcanon is that-

L fell first:

But Light fell harder:

__________________________________________

Yeah yeah, I'm well aware that the first friend scene was a lie from L's side and a mind game from both sides- BUT look at Light's FACE (and no Light's a good actor but this split second of '...' + transparent eyes is not a performance imho)

He's genuinely stunned (translation: L broke him for a moment there lmao it's like, during that single moment, they're the only ones in the room!) BEFORE he realizes that they are playing a role here in front of the task force. As Ryuga and Light; which is what he tells Ryuk later:

(His eyes are hidden *clenches fists* Light is emotionally affected and does not want anybody to know that L got him. Again.

Except this time, he feels humiliated in a strange sort of way.

Despite everything, including the whole 'enemies till death do we part' thing they have going on? Light enjoyed his time with L (albeit not without the collateral damage of other people dying but I digress). He DID like playing tennis with Ryuga as he tells him. That part's not a lie! L being a good friend is not true though.

L does not want Light as his friend for real. He's bullshitting as always to catch Light off guard. This isn't new. But it. is. Personal (to Light, at least).

Only it shouldn't be! This is all part of their game, isn't it? Then why does Light feel a bit...disappointed due to it not being real? In an alternate universe, would he have liked truly being L's friend?

No! Of course not, that is a ridiculous line of thought! Additionally, just 2 chapters ago, Light was like:

Can you see the lawlight and yagamane parallels here? L intends to catch Kira!Light and poses an execution threat to Light while Misa means to date Light and poses some threats of her own:

Both L and Misa come on too strongly toward Light (one as an enemy and the other as a potential ally). Light merely wants to get rid of them both so as to achieve his keikaku with ease. While dealing with Misa, Light thinks, 'I'll be killing her eventually...I can't develop feelings. That's how most idiots screw up.'

Notice how similar this is when it comes to his dynamic with L as well? He has to kill the latter eventually too and his reaction (to when he's confronted with the fact that Rem *can* kill L at his immediate request before the fiasco of Misa getting arrested happens at least) is this below btw:

The guy is truly shocked at how easy it seems to kill someone as intelligent as L. Light does not smile or seem amused. He takes this (L's future death) very seriously (I think it's the first time he does this since his first two kills). I believe it's partly due to the begrudging respect he has toward the genius detective and partly because of the 'what-if's in his mind.

His eyes, blown wide, are unreadable except for the astonished look they show. It is a rare display of emotion we see from Light (I can't seem to pinpoint just what the emotion is tho) which is quite noteworthy imho.

________________________________________

...Wow I got carried away.

The point is! Light feels a little humiliated for letting his emotions get the better of him even if it was for just an instant during which he was gobsmacked by L's lie which he wished for it to be true.

Light can rationalize it all he wants but deep down, in his heart, he'd always know that there was a period of time (however small) that he not only fell for L's lie, but also secretly under LAYERS of repression actually just wanted to live in that world- the world where there was neither L nor Kira, just Ryuga and his friend Light.

That's wishful thinking and boy would Light hate this if he acknowledged for even a second that yes, he does want that.)

Again. Light 'Developing Feelings = Idiotic Screw ups' Yagami cannot afford to deceive himself that L, on some level, wants to befriend him as that may as well cost his life if he did. He cannot get distracted as that was most definitely one of L's intentions of calling him his 'first friend'.

He'll dutifully play along as he had anticipated it a while ago:

"I like this, Ryuga. If you want to be friends with me. I'll gladly hang out with you."

Light sure looks thrilled as hell to be role-playing as L's friend lmao- like he loves mind games, he revels in duplicity, he enjoys challenges that L adds to his life so is it any wonder that the combination of all is *chef's kiss* for Light? He is so so EXCITED to be hanging out with L face-to-face + looks forward to stabbing him in the back!!

Gotta love lawlight! </3 <3

[meamiki]

[reverse entry AU]

so glad the work week is over!

no more meetings!

what do you mean its only tuesday.

[suguruuuuu-chan]

T4t Zosan save me....save me t4t Zosan...

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[starleska]

revisiting the old hyperfixation that is Warren the Eagle 🙈💖 sometimes hyperfixations lie in wait for weeks, months, even years before they get you. but within seconds of hearing that pathetic, whiny little voice, i just fucking knew... i knew Don't Hug Me I'm Scared had gotten me again and i knew it would be this freak before he was even on the screen 💀

[minakotreat]

I know i listed this account as being my miscellaneous art account, but the truth of the matter is that i'm so embarrassingly obsessed with judgment I didn't have the heart to be posting it all over my main account. this stupid guy is actually taking over my BRAIN!

curse you yagamer for having such good games

i learnt about judgment a few years back when I saw a trailer on JE randomly during some game awards I think?? I could totally be wrong but I had some knowledge about yakuza so this intrigued me a lot. It wasn't enough that I actively sought it out though. Then some months ago I remember the game because I had been playing infinite wealth, only to my horror that everywhere I looked, judgment wasn't on pc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I only have my pc and my bloated battery nintendo switch for entertainment so I was very very sad, because it seemed like such an interesting game. Still, I honestly didn't care enough to continue digging for ways to play it outside of possibly biting the bullet to attempt emulation.

THEN, the huge rgg franchise sale began on steam....... I had just closed my shop to begin shipping out merch I had made so I had a bit of pocket money which I decided to see if I wanted to buy one of the yakuza games. I wasn't too intrigued to buy yakuza 0 because i've already played a bit of it and got bored (despite me loving yakuza 7 & 8) but just out of curiosity.... I decided to see if judgment was on there...... I mean, it wouldn't be since everywhere I looked had said takuya kimura's agency prevented them from uploading it on pc....... right....? and LO AND BEHOLD IT STOOD BEFORE ME.

JUDGMENT????????? IS ON PC???????? AND THE WHOLE BUNDLE WAS ON A HUGE SALE?!?!?!?!??!!

I was thinking hard. Did I really want to spend my money on this? I rarely buy games myself, instead going through the route of ""obtaining"" or watching LPs. I decided to just give it a shot, and decided to buy the full bundle along with the kaito dlc just because it was a good bargain and who knows, I might end up actually liking it.

and so I liked it a little bit.... more........... than a little bit.................

I remember when I finished both games, I just walked around in LJ's premium adventure just with my jaw dropped. These games. Dude. They're more than i could've ever even asked for. I don't know how else to word it

The story, the tension, the characters, the environment, the visuals, dude EVERYTHING. I cried an embarrassing amount, especially during the credit rolls, and it was just fantastic.

so even though to me persona 3 still is my favorite game of all time, judgment takes a very good spot at number 2 which is a feat nonetheless. I'm going to love it to death.

it's been barely two months but I DON'T CARE!!!!! I JUST LOVE BEING PASSIONATE

thanks for reading my stupid babble on my experience with john judge eyes

bonus: all the drawings/screenshots my friends made of me and my downward spiral (i love my friends)

[reineyday]

maybe an insane d20 ship but burrow's end ava/silence tho...

old person romance!!! ava always speaking her mind and never shutting up and being allergic to real emotions vs hester feeling the pain of their sister maiming and then leaving them for twenty years and still being vulnerable to write it down and express it the only way they can despite the loss of their jaw. silence surviving to see what their sister has become, feeling despair and grief and betrayal but also can't deny that they still love her bc that's their sister, and getting ava to share her own guilt and helplessness about kenji; ava talking abt raising tula and viola by herself and hester talking about whatever kind of family they had with the other first stoats, and how their role functioned at last bast with so many stoats gradually finding their way over the years--the responsibility of providing a home in the aftermath of death and doing it while holding the guilt that you werent enough to save the person you love the most in the whole world.

(hester getting jaw surgery with the help of human science and the light, so they don't have to wear a gas mask all the time, and speaking for the first time in 20 years. tula never quite trusting silence and always giving them the stink-eye, and bennet being kind of awkward 'cuz ava is awesome and intimidating as an in-law but her partner is his former boss and both his in-laws will probably live way longer than him and it's kind of weird. i think thorn would be worried about his role as stoat representative and the stoatal relationship w humans, right up until silence confirms they are 100p on-board and then he will relax completely around them, but viola will always be sketched out as well, like her sister. lila will also follow tula's lead, but jaysohn would follow ava's and end up bragging often about both his cool and powerful grandparents. the painfully awkward conversation that ava brings up all by herself to the suffering of everyone else including hester when she has the "they could never replace your father" conversation, even tho tula's already with bennet at this time and thus has had this convo with her own kids already, and hester knows they're not kenji and would never try to insert themself like that into ava's kids' or even grandkids' lives, but ava insists on talking about it bc she's doing emotions now! embracing change! and this is truly one of the only times tula and viola and hester lock eyes and understand the frustration and love they all have for ava lol.)

this got long!!! oops. but ye, ava came back from the dead to yell in silence's face about how much they don't scare her and i was like "i'd ship it" and i stand by it lmao.

[polarisbibliotheque]

The Matrix - Tiffany | Tiffany | Trinity.

Tiffany | Tiffany | Trinity.

Pairing: Trinity x Neo (I'm a sucker for them, leave me be)

Summary: It's when she's alone that she can hear the noise. It doesn't stop. It hammers a name inside her head, forcing her compliance. Until Tiffany hears in the back of her mind someone calling her a different name... Trinity.

TRIGGER WARNING: Crazy identity crisis, bordering (or even being) dissociation. Lots of anxiety, questioning reality and one's own identity; questioning authority, life paths and memories. Big blurry lines between reality, dreams, memory and imagination. If you struggle with those themes (and dissociation, psychosis, etc.), I advise not reading it.

Author's Notes: I know, weird one. But it's that time of the year I'm getting older (my birthday) and I generally hate it - so I decided to do my Keanu Reeves marathon. Chose The Matrix to kickstart things and I just really love those damn movies. They always make me think and I think it's good I'm rewatching now - precisely when I needed to.

That being said, I wrote this random thing after watching Ressurections for the first time with my sister a couple of years ago (you guys know I haven't been writing for a while). It's been completely forgotten, until I found it again recently, for my amazement. Turns out, I really like it. Never posted it 'cause it's very different from what I usually post, but figured why not. I write because I like talking about certain things - and these movies are a punch in the gut for me.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be like Trinity when I grew up no wonder I literally dress like her in the last movie. But things turned out pretty differently and watching her story in the 4th movie made a LOT of sense to me. And I too would've kicked The Analyst's jaw off if he named me Tiffany for 20 years.

I'm thinking about eventually writing different and new things like that - don't worry, I'll keep writing for DMC, that's something I'll never stop; but you guys have NO IDEA how much I've been controlling myself over the years not to write Cyberpunk 2077 stuff I have a soft spot for Keanu Reeves, blame it on him

As she scrubbed her hands with the foaming soap, the warm water untied the stress on her shoulders, gradually making her feel at home.

It was funny how a hobby could also be a chore - and how being a mother was, sometimes, extremely tiring. Tiffany kept rubbing her fingers in an absent-minded manner, furrowing her eyebrows.

Tiffany.

She could hear her children calling.

Tiffany.

She could hear her husband calling.

Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany.

That name - her own name... - hammered inside her head as if it wanted to force her acceptance... As if taming her. She could hear her husband's voice saying it over and over and over and over again. Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany...

"Trinity!"

The voice that echoed in the back of her mind wasn't her husband's.

She immediately opened her eyes and stopped scrubbing her hands. Looking around, there was no noise but the falling warm water, filling the bathroom with its hot mist.

She was alone. And, even if she was surrounded by her children and her husband, their happy and average family... She was always alone.

Her heart began pounding a little faster and that familiar lump in her throat started forming, ready to take her breath away. Why did she feel like that? It made no sense. She was perfectly happy, perfectly normal, with a perfectly good life. She wasn't alone.

Trying to take her mind away from that, Tiffany started scrubbing the motorcycle grease from her fingers once again.

This time, while closing her eyes, she saw something else. The hands cleaning her fingers weren't hers... They were someone else's. Long, warm fingers taking their time in a smooth touch - much too loving to be her husband's. Much too loving to be Chad's hands.

Opening her eyes once more, Tiffany looked around, covering the upper part of her body.

But she was alone.

The only noise to be heard was the water. The only breathing body was hers.

Chad wasn't home from work yet. The kids were at their grandma's. Those hands she saw weren't hers.

Her heart pounded as if it wanted to break out from her chest. That touch... She longed for that touch. She wanted to feel it again... As if she felt it before, so many years ago, and her heart finally found solace once more.

That made absolutely no sense.

Shaking her head, Tiffany grabbed the soap and started to lather up from her fingers to her arms, making her way to her shoulders.

And again, while closing her eyes, she could see another set of hands doing it for her. Warm, loving, familiar... Going up her elbow until finally arriving at her shoulders, starting to massage the constant pain on her back up to her neck.

She felt the owner of those hands approaching, her body burning as she felt his body coming closer to hers from behind.

Tiffany's eyes shot open again, her feet turning around in a violent spin.

No one.

She was alone.

Again.

Then why did she feel that...? It was so real, it...

It was home.

During all those long years married to Chad, raising their children and living their lives like the perfect suburban family they were, she never felt at home. And she could only understand it now, feeling that presence - that strange vision that felt like a memory.

A memory from a life lived so many years ago. A life forgotten. A life from distant tales and great deeds.

A life completely different from her mundane reality.

She tried to keep on with her shower. She had to finish quickly and prepare dinner: there were too many things to do before she could call it a day.

But... At the same time she didn't want to close her eyes again, she did. It was more than a morbid curiosity. As if something inside herself kept telling her, constantly, she needed to know. She needed to see that again. She needed to feel it again.

She had to see his face.

As soon as she closed her eyes, she could only see flashes. It wasn't her beautiful, well decorated bathroom - it was gray and improvised, almost like a cave. Water fell on them. She wasn't alone. She was never alone - not in that life. Those hands... Those hands ran on her body, helping her shower. She was younger, her hair was shorter - too short even.

And then she felt his lips at the base of her neck, with a quick peck before whispering something. A word that made her feel at home.

"Trinity."

She was violently kicked back into reality as she opened her eyes, finding herself alone in that perfect bathroom. All the air in the world couldn't help her breathe properly again, all the grounding couldn't make her stop trembling. She spun around, searching, looking for something, without knowing exactly what it was. Her chest was bleeding - but as her hands cradled her heart, there was nothing there but water.

Then why...? How...? What was that crippling void that filled her soul, slowly eating its way into her mind? Who did she see? Who was Trinity?

What was all that? Who was he?

And why, oh why did it hurt so much?

She was alone, completely alone, in that sterile white bathroom that seemed like a cage, too big for her - she was small, she was alone, she was... Tiffany? Why did that name suddenly inspired such loathing on her? Why her glass-blue eyes couldn't stop weeping desperately? Why did her arms long for holding something... Someone...?

Even if she held her children... Even if she held Chad. It wasn't what her soul was searching, it was something else... Someone else. That empty space inside her she always knew was there but never really managed to put into words. That part of her that seemed to be missing, to be long gone. That made her eyes water and her chest hurt, that made her lose her breath and cry - as if she was nothing but a scared child missing someone she loved so.

Why couldn't she find him...? Was he alive? Was he dead? Who was he? And why did it seem he loved that Trinity so much - why did it seem she was her?

"Tiffany! You're taking some time in that shower, are you ok?"

Completely startled, she turned back at the door, one of her hands leaning on the cold tiles of the wall while the other pressed on her forehead. Her eyes stared at the entrance of the bathroom, wide as the pale moon in the sky.

Tiffany.

Tiffany.

That was her name. That was her reality. Those tiles, that cozy, well-decorated room, those fuzzy towels, Chad knocking on the door.

Tiffany.

That was real. That was... Real?

Was Trinity real? She felt real. The man who called her name also felt real - much more than all the caresses, touches and kisses she had exchanged with her husband up to that point in her life. Trinity wasn't alone... Trinity didn't have that void inside her chest, slowly taking up her soul, just like Tiffany had. As if the person she was would slowly disappear, all alone and forgotten - being just a shadow of who she once was. But...

"Hey, Tiff! Answer me! Are you ok?"

Was she ok? Was Tiffany ok? What about Trinity? How was she...? She wasn't... She missed something.

Tiffany missed something.

"I miss something..." She muttered mindlessly, feeling as the tears ran from her wide-open eyes, face completely expressionless.

She closed her eyes tightly, trying to stop that noise. That lack of breath. That heartbreaking loneliness.

"I'm always with you, Trin." Again, he was standing behind her, holding her tightly into his arms, entangling his fingers with her right hand while keeping his head cradled on her shoulder. She could feel herself smiling. Trinity was smiling.

"Tiffany!"

Trinity.

"Tiffany!"

Trinity.

"TIFFANY!"

"I'm alright!"

She finally managed to scream back, opening her eyes one last time. She could barely breathe and could barely hear whatever Chad was going on about on the other side of the door.

"I'm alright." She whispered to herself, running her hand on her forehead before shutting down the water from the shower and getting out of the box.

The feeling of the fuzzy towel was grounding. For a few moments, she wasn't sure who she was. What did they call that again...? Dissociating?

It was probably what happened to her. It started since the therapists said something about PTSD after an accident she was involved - but then again... She didn't know if it was real. It could've been a dream and maybe she had a dream about the therapists too. She wasn't sure.

Looking at her right hand, it was as if she had a residual of that presence behind her, of those arms holding her. And, once more, she was struck with that feeling... That longing... That something missing.

That absolutely nothing she already had could fill that empty space inside her chest.

"Tiff! You're sure you're ok? I'm tired from work and need to take a shower, are you taking too long to get out...?"

"No, no, I'll be out in a minute, Chad." She shook her head, starting to dry her body as fast as she could. "I'm gonna make us some pasta for dinner, ok?"

"Yeah! You're the best, Tiff!"

There was still too much to do before she could call it a day. She had to get a grip and get back to her life, it didn't matter how real all of that felt.

But something inside her, a small sparkle that she decided to ignore completely, wanted another voice to call her "Trin".

[fleshengine]

If I fell to any chaos god it’d definitely be Slaanesh. I just really really really like food, and I love being good at things. All it would take is a daemonette offering to make me better at stuff and give me food and let me sleep a lot. Also boobs… Slaanesh could give me boobs.

[heliosphere-underthesky]

Uranus and earth being a couple in mythology is indeed pretty funny but have you seen the myth where uranus literally LOST HIS NUTS and that's was what made venus (or in the case aphrodite) come to be? lol

Poor Uranus. No pecans, no macadamias, no filberts... nutless. Nothing. (a sequel of sorts to this ask)

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #1.

Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

[serslee]

First panty shot in the dungeon meshi anime and its senshi thats a #win