#⠀ ꒰ ★ ꒱⠀⠀ ╱ ⠀⠀LET ME TALK MY ISH ⠀ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miyaz6ki · 9 months ago

Text

──── she was all i needed.

ᯓ★ ── . summ. piercer!kinich who gave you his number in order to give you tips on how to keep your skin healthy now that you have your first piercings.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ director's note. hi i havent posted cuz i made this long :grin: saw that kinich had a few piercings, so gave me a few ideas.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ pairings. kinich x fem!reader

ᯓ★ ── . warnings. nsfw, fem terms used, sex lol, eating you out, possessive-ish behavior (brief mention.)

piercer!kinich who has tattoos all over his arms, and can be seen briefly around his waist when he stretches.

piercer!kinich who discreetly checks you out, the mix of emerald and amber in his eyes contrasted almost as if love was in his eyes. letting you take a seat in front of him.

piercer!kinich who briefly makes eye contact with you, looking away just as fast.

he who spins you around the chair a little, letting you look at a mirror to ask if you like it or not.

"here, give me your number. I'll send you a few tips on how to keep your skin healthy after a while. they can get infected easily."

it was few ear piercings you were excited about getting but damn was the piercer hot.

you sent him another text, asking if he had any tips- again. this was the third time this week, and it was almost starting to become more than just employee and customer.

you could definitely agree getting to see him more was amazing. he might be what you consider 'nonchalant' at first, but he's definitely enjoyable when you get to know him. and his cute little corgi named ajaw of course.

you both frequented at each other's places. ajaw favored you over him, snuggling up to your chest even as you sit idly on the couch.

"where'd you find him, by the way?" you pet the fluffy fur on its head. "huh? in a dumpster." and it was almost as if the fur on the little doggy's back had stood up, furiously barking at its owner.

"jus' joking. pet store. poor thing looked sad so I cleaned him up and adopted him." the corgi continued to growl but huffed and snuggled back into your lap.

piercer!kinich putting ajaw at the veterinary clinic to get checked for a few hours. even with the retaliation against it.. ajaw inevitably went to war (got a checkup).

greeting the poor baby goodbye as it aggressively barked and cried out to the both of you, kinich simply laughed it off, offering to get something to eat.

his hand on the wheel, and another close to your thigh, gosh was he hot when he drove. the tank top that pridefully showed off his tattoos, and he held his head up high, and chin down. his confident, yet uncaring demeanor definitely would've gotten him some game in highschool.

"hey, you down for ice cream, pretty? my treat." he pulls out his wallet without looking down to find where it was. was the car this hot? turn up the air conditioner..

"yeah.. yeah sure." you sighed and continued to subconsciously look at him. damn was he pretty and handsome all at once?

piercer!kinich who took you out to get ice cream together while waiting. already knowing your order from every other time.

piercer!kinich who came back with the sundaes, already had an arm around you to tell that dude trying to get your number, and making you uncomfortable.

"she's taken. back off." he gave a glare to the guy. successfully scaring him off a few seconds later.

he took you back to his car, eating the ice cream together as you both talk and laugh.

he still felt a bit of rage in his chest from the interaction earlier. and there was still 2 hours till you both pick ajaw up.. I guess you have time.. right?

his tongue already delving into your cunt, as his fingers worked well at your entrance below. you tasted and sounded nicer than he imagined.

"mmm, that's right pretty keep moaning like that.." his words sent vibrations throughout your lower region. you could feel the stars appear in the air, a dazy environment.

you pushed his face further into your slit. you could feel the cold, metal piercing on you, subsequently riding his tongue loving the way he felt on you.

"ngh- fffuck kin- i'm gonna!-" you moan, as he only mercilessly quickened his pace. the way your cunt tasted was not what he was expecting, not going to complain though... maybe he should get you pineapple ice cream more often.

"don't look anywhere else pretty- on me. eyes on me." it sounded more like a demand than to ask. his eyes spoke otherwise for him, almost pleading for you to give everything to him.

he hummed in delight, gladly lapping everything up for his own, he was in no competition but still went faster than anything. he ate you out like the starved man!!

you could feel his nose piercing touch your clit, shit was it just as cold as the one on his tongue.

his husky voice emerges- "such a patient girl for me, sweetheart.." the air slowly started to feel thick, he could already imagine the whines you'd moan from the way your eyes rolled back.

"ahhn- feels s' good.. mmf- wan' more!" your whines only fueled his ego, he could never get tired of this. squishing your thighs around his neck just cuz you want more? he'll give it to you if you want it that badly.

his hand moved up from your thigh to your chest, fondling your nipples. "s' pretty.." he briefly looked up at you, arching your back, and your brows furrowed, you almost looked mad!

those pretty pristine emerald eyes you could never doubt, especially when the same ones looked up at you- pleading for you to squirt everything right into his mouth.

as was he right or right? he let you cum, your legs trembled as he continued to lick every little crevice his tongue could reach. he loved the way you had grasped his hair, his hands stuck to your ass as he latched onto you.

"such a good girl f' me aren't you?" he landed a soft kiss onto your sloppy clit, still working his digits in and out of you slowly. your head hit the window again as you tried to hold your loud whimpers back.

his fingers arched themselves into your g-spot. fuck did he want you to cum again?

"look at me, princess.. i wanna see your face when you cream on these fingers, 'kay?" his eyes almost glared at you, it was intimidating yeah, but it was definitely so fucking hot.

as he added another digit into your entrance, you felt like seeing stars again, you could see heaven by now.

a snicker emits from in front of you, your eyes still shut as you try not to moan from the godly speed kinich went at.

his raven locks were in his face, his face was full of concentration as a smirk danced across his cheeks. "that's it- let out every moan that you need to. don't be afraid."

"let everyone hear how good these fingers fuck you, pretty girl." his fingers were definitely skilled. he did mention he played the bass.. damn was that a fucking ring on his index finger?!

the temperature that was held inside the jewelry reached into your pussy as you finally came. only making you more sensitive. he exited his fingers slowly out the sloppiness of your hole, and into his mouth, licking it all up from his fingers.

he places a peck on your forehead; "let's get back into the front seat, yeah?" "yeah.."

as you both drove to pick ajaw up, the dog furiously barked, he smelt something, and something was up with the air between you two.. but you both could care less, making eye contact before kinich started to back up the vehicle, out of the clinic's parking lot.

"i'll.. drop you off by your house."

a silent 10 minute drive was shared as ajaw fell asleep in the backseat. but before you could fully step into your home- "hey. call me later if you have trouble sleeping.. or if your legs shake tomorrow." he chuckles, his grasp on your arm was soft, and meaningful.

"i'll keep that in mind." you gave him a soft smile, and he returned it. a kiss landed on your hand, as he bowed. "good night then, beautiful."

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lilliezzzzz-fics · 2 months ago

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Mario Karting

including: alex albon, yuki tsunoda, dino beganovic, lance stroll + isack hadjar author's note: blame my mario kart addiction for this <3 also finally writing for dino, which is great because i love him, but also means i have a chance to include swedish in my writing! hooray! reader is gn, no use of y/n <3 warnings: mentions of food (yuki). minor swedish dialogue (dino), i think that's it? just fluffy ! word count: 1.3k (200-ish each)

★ Alex Albon

he always—and i mean always plays yoshi

if anyone else tries to take him from him, he gives them the dirtiest glare

whenever he and you play against each other, somehow one of your pets always end up in the way

either sitting in his lap or yours, or maybe even sitting in front of the screen somehow

then, when he makes his kart he does speed > acceleration > grip > handling > weight

his favourite cup to play with you is the lightning cup

he gets to first and then gets red shelled like twice in a row and falls down the pack to like 7th

gets so, so stressed but he hides it well, just lets out a heavy sigh when the race is over

he's very competitive too―he probably uses all his items on you whenever you're in front of him

lets out such a laugh when you get mad at him

it's the funniest thing ever according to him

although, if you get above him he gets very happy because you seem very proud of yourself

probably complementing you with a smile on his face

but when you threaten to steal his seat at williams he takes it all back

“Mate, that's just not fair, now is it?” Alex exclaims, his hands gripping the controller.

“What happened?”

“I just got fucking red shelled twice!” He groans, “I swear, like, they're targeting me or something.”

You laugh at him, softly bumping his shoulder with yours, “maybe you're just bad.”

“Take that back!”

★ Yuki Tsunoda

i think he'd play like tanooki mario or baby mario

his karts always priorities speed over all else, less weight too―he probably doesn't have too much acceleration on them though

he loves the shell cup, he is actually godlike at moo moo meadows

and he is so incredibly competitive, like he starts kicking you whenever you get too close to his character―ending up in a semi-brawl against each other

he's surprisingly strategic too, like purposely falling back a little to get the bullet, then getting to the front with mushrooms and just dominating

takes it super seriously. it's his life on the line, actually

oh and he makes sure to have snacks for you two ready

dried fruits, chocolate, chips―pretty much anything that you want, he has on the table

even homemade snacks if any of you are craving them

though he denies that he made it for you, for his pride, he insists

he actually screeches whenever he gets hit by a projectile, blabbering curses to whoever threw them

even at you

but in the end it's all just in good fun, he never actually gets mad nor do you

except when he throws a blue shell when you're in front, of course

then it's over for him

“Haha!” Yuki grins as he flies to the front with his items.

“How did you get that?!” You pout, eyes still locked on the screen, watching as he passes by you with a golden mushroom.

“Strategy, obviously. You're just not Mario Karting on my level.”

★ Dino Beganovic

he mains koopa troopa for no reason other than “he’s funny”

and his favourite cup is the egg cup, he just really likes dragon driftway

talking about drifting

he is actually incredible when it comes to drifting and doing tricks

he never misses a singular one, and you have zero clue how he does it

it’s like magic or something

but he also gets terrible luck when it comes to items, and he’s not particularly good with them either

the number of times he's either a) thrown a bomb and proceeded to drive into it, and b) thrown a green shell that just ends up hitting him couldn’t even be counted on two hands

not only that, but he fumbles or gets shelled so much

it’s kind of pitiful, like you feel so bad when you see his number just fall from 1 to 3, to 4, and even 6

and he doesn’t rage much, but when he does he rages in swedish

he does refrain from doing so majority of the time, but it is fun to witness

either way, when you do start to feel bad when he falls down the pack, it usually doesn’t stay that way long

somehow he always manages to climb back into top 3

it gets irritating sometimes, however, that never lasts because he just looks so pretty when he’s proud of himself

give him a little victory smooch for me, please <3

“Men asså! Din jävla—ugh, gud…” Dino groans as yet another shell flies into him, “Jag svär om det kommer en till-”

There’s a brief pause, and you can’t help but snicker at Dino’s dramaticism.

“Calm down, it’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

“But it is!”

*translation 1: "oh my! you fucking—ugh, god..."

*translation 2: "i swear if there's another one-"

★ Lance Stroll

he’d main rosalina, maybe? or maybe lakitu or shy guy—any one of them

his favourite cup by far is the flower cup, mainly because first off, it’s not too intense

and secondly, he just thinks it's cute

whenever you play, it’s usually very casual—you mostly play on either 100cc or 150cc if you’re feeling a little competitive

the two of you just laze on his couch with your limbs entangled, eyes trained on the screen and just having fun

it’s genuinely very sweet

he never really rages at mario kart either, he doesn’t take it serious enough

although whenever he wins or gets top 3, he does get happy (even though it is almost every race that he does)

just this silly cute grin plastered on his face

especially when you’re also winning with him!

just smiling softly while saying, “did you see that drift?”

and you just smile back

he’s so cute!!! how could you not?

The two of you are sitting on Lance’s couch, in his living room, your head resting on his shoulder, your eyes glued to the screen as you drive around the Mario Kart racetrack.

There’s only you, him, the TV, and the game's sound. It’s comforting, warm, and Lance’s heartbeat is a steady rhythm beating by your ear.

“Ooo! Did’ya see that?” he murmurs against your scalp, his voice is soft—barely audible as he presses a soft kiss against your head, “that drift was insane.”

“I’m sure it was.”

★ Isack Hadjar

he’s a toad main, and i feel like further elaboration is unnecessary

playing mario kart is basically him driving f1, it’s life or death for him, and he will play as competitively as possible

in a boyfriend™ way, of course

the two of you play on 150 or 200cc at all times, always fully locked in

his favourite cup is also the triforce cup because he thinks it is hilarious when you either fall off the map or something

(he gets mad when he does, though)

when you get too close, just like yuki, he will kick you

it’s all fun and games, though! he only does it when he knows you don’t mind

oh whenever he sees you in front and he just happens to have a projectile—he throws it immediately

just to see that grumpy expression

he genuinely just says something like, “tough luck, babe” and laughs

karma is a bitch, though, and like ten seconds after you see him fly past your screen but backwards because he got hit by lightning and then red shelled

he also swears in his mother tongue, like yelling because this game is broken!

afterwards, the two of you make up with a soft exchange of kisses and watch youtube, muttering truce? truce.

A wave of pride washes over you as you see the number in the corner turn into a one as you overtake Princess Peach for first place. You let out a triumphant yes! and the exact moment you do, you hear a mischievous laugh from Isack.

You feel doom approaching as you hear how a shell approaches.

“You are fucking with me, Isack! Seriously?”

“Blame the game, not the player.” He laughs.

©lilliezzzzz-fics: please don't copy or distribute my work on any platform

#♬ snapshot #formula 1 imagine #formula one x reader #alex albon x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #dino beganovic x reader #lance stroll x reader #isack hadjar x reader

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strawhatwife · 4 months ago

Text

🙊👒🔮🪬🌍🐞🍀🦧🌀🧘🫛🌜🌌🐛🪻✌️🪲😸🪐🪱

monkey d luffy's favorite. . . ! ! ! (^_-)☆

☯️ straw page 💟 s/i carrd ☮️ my kins ♒️ taglist form ♉️

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝

hii i'm wander !! (๑＞ڡ＜)✿

interacts & follows from @wanderluffys

🫛🍎 -- i'm twenty , black 🇺🇸 , ficto , aroace , agender + dx audhd ꈍ◡ꈍ

!!!!! click 4 pronouns !!!!!

🌍🌀 -- i take my relationships vv seriously, i rly am dating these guys :3 if u cant rock with that ...🤷🏾‍♂️

🧚🏽🍀 -- canon straw hat pirate!!! ( its true! believe me ! ) (( don't google it tho ))

🌃🪻-- infp sp9w8 7w8 2w1 . aquarius sun . capricorn moon . scorpio rising . hoodoo . trinket enjoyer . i luv cats and primates , they're my special interest creatures!! . philosophy & psychology . in film school!! :P

🐈‍⬛🐞 -- multifandom-ish ? i don't talk abt just my relationships on here 'cause i like to yap :'3 read my straw page for more!!!

♡⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝♡ spotify . last fm . letterboxd 🧑‍❤️‍💋‍🧑🌀🌳🦕🪱

feel free 2 ask for my discord!!

🌟🫁🎞️🦷💭🫀🧿🩻⚰️🐾🧸🌎🐱🦝🧟‍♂️♒️🍖⚜️💿🎠

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝

my partner / boyf is monkey d. luffy!!! 3/13/21 #👒🔮 #YAYYY my bff, loml, my bug, my soulmate 4ever, my freedom, my silly monkey!! he is my world n more we like 2 laugh, play toys, n go outside n do crafts :3c i luv he so much <3 we r soulbonded n hav been since '21 🙂‍↕️

allllll luffy doubles i am non - sharing / mirror sharing. luffy means a lot to me & i love anyone who loves him as much as i do but it makes me a little hurty <3 no hard feels, if u are loved by him too ur probably amazing. feel free 2 interact tho :3 jus b respectful n kind!!! im alwayz open 2 communication w/ u. i rly mean it when i say i love u!!!

if ur cool w/ me i'm Usually cool w/ u 2!! but if ur not feel free to block, i rarely block first <3

＼(★´-｀)人(´▽｀★)／ protect ur peace!!! i'll protect mine!!

straw hats r all my platonic / found family f/os. i love them all very dearly!!! i don't play about them!!! if u dont fw a straw hat u cant fw me!! you're the opposition!!!! they are my family!!! im a whiny bitch abt how much i love and miss them sometimes!!

secondary f/os are garou and badd from one punch man, mirror-sharing with gar, non-sharing w/ badd :3 #🐺🎱🦇 1/9/22 i won't talk abt them much on this blog, but they've been an important part of my life for years :'3 i cherish them deeply!! i have soulbonds w/ them as well

my f/os age with me n have been for years so theyre all my age — if ur ever confused as to why the ages i say they are dont match canon Lol.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝

--- dni basic crit , proship , under 16 ( u can follow but i prob wont follow back ^^ ) if u ship any luffy x canon , or hate any straw hat!!!!!

--- byf i don't just talk about selfshipping and my relationships on here i like to yap .. i don't directly interact with doubles of my close non-sharing mutuals out of respect for them and our friendship. no hard feels! sozz <3

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝

🗺️🏔️🎧🎨🎲🧃🥡🌈🙉⭐️🕸️📯🪲🪼🪱🐦‍⬛👁️🐰🔊🪐

thank u!! i luv u already!!!! lets be friends!! 🫶🏽

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psuedosugu · 1 year ago

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Ohhhh my golly I saw your Vox x daughter reader an it got me thinking now HEAR ME OUT….what if reader got bored on day an just went for a walk and somehow came across Alastor, now let’s say Alastor’s a lil confused like he never knew Vox had a daughter and readers like *sad sigh* “I’d be surprised if anyone knew” an Alastors all fatherly to her at first it was to get dirt on Vox without reader realizing but in the end he just liked hanging out with her. Eventually Vox noticed how his daughter is gone half the time but reader just convinces her dad that she’s always home and how HES the one always away. Change the ending how you see fit or do whatever you like but UGH I love your writing stay hydrated and eat wellll🩵

assjjjkkj thank youuu the amount of feedback ive gotten on this acc that ive only been posting on for like 3 days is insane, anyways this is such an interesting idea omgee

cw: reader having some emotionally absent daddy issues

fem reader

pt 1 here

ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

͙͘͡★ || so you had just gone out on an innocent walk, right?

͙͘͡★ || well, technically snuck out since your dad doesn’t like you going out by yourself.

͙͘͡★ || theres bad people out there! what if you got kidnapped or something?

͙͘͡★ || no one recognizes you, of course, since he doesn’t really talk about you let alone shows you to the public.

͙͘͡★ || you appreciate him for that, you guess, it must be annoying to not be able to go anywhere without a bunch of microphones in your face.

͙͘͡★ || you just wish he was around more! he barely makes any time for you and yeah, his work is super important and time consuming but you’re his daughter!

͙͘͡★ || lost in thought, you bump into a dude in the sidewalk.

͙͘͡★ || “whoops! excuse me, ma’am!”, he says in a weird, static-ish voice.

͙͘͡★ || your skeleton almost jumps out of your skin when you look up.

͙͘͡★ || the radio demon, the guy that your dad has had beef with since you were little

͙͘͡★ || you just stare at him with a “ :o “ look on your face, not knowing if you should run or not.

“little girl, are you, um, alright?” he stares down at you, slightly confused.

“im…uhhh…im okay!”

“you’ve heard of me, i suppose.”

“i guess…. my dad doesn’t really like you.”

“and who might your father be, hm?”

“yk the tv dude? the one thats, like, everywhere? yeah, that him.”

“hmm…interesting…i wasn’t aware he had a daughter…”

“well, he doesn’t really talk about…..”

͙͘͡★ || at this point you stop blabbing mid sentence, realizing you probably shouldn’t have said all of that to his sworn enemy.

͙͘͡★ || what if he does kidnap you and holds you for ransom?

͙͘͡★ || but he doesn’t do that, surprisingly.

͙͘͡★ || he asks you why you’re out alone so late and you shrug, saying that your dad wasn’t really there to stop you.

͙͘͡★ || you were naive and alastor was planning to use that to his advantage, not to hurt you, but to hurt vox.

͙͘͡★ || what would he think when he found out that his own daughter was buddy-buddy with his sworn enemy?

͙͘͡★ || he’d feel like a failure of a father, and thats what alastor wanted, to get under his skin.

͙͘͡★ || you guys walked while you told him everything, about him being away all the time, about you feeling lonely, while he nodded along

͙͘͡★ || you guys even stopped at one of those old timey bar places and bought you a milkshake!

͙͘͡★ || eventually you headed home, your dad hadn’t noticed you had been gone which figures.

͙͘͡★ || this became routine, you hung out with alastor and he gave you advice and stuff. you thought that if he had an ulterior motive it would’ve shown itself by now but no, it hadn’t.

͙͘͡★ || alastor himself had started to forget why he had even started all of this. he found himself enjoying your company and actually caring about you.

͙͘͡★ || after a while vox started to notice that he’s been seeing you less than he usually does.

͙͘͡★ || i mean, the tower is big but cmon! there were days where he would barely see you at all! where were you going?

͙͘͡★ || he confronted you about it at dinner one day.

“[name], dearest, i cant help but notice that i haven’t been seeing you around much lately. what’ve you been up to?”

͙͘͡★ || you pause, looking up from your food.

“i, um, dont know what you’re talking about.”

͙͘͡★ || he furrows his (virtual) eyebrows.

“is that so?”

“mhm!”

͙͘͡★ || vox is reasonably skeptical and resorts to spying on you through your smartwatch because of course you have a voxtech branded smartwatch!

͙͘͡★ || hes absolutely livid when he finds out who you’ve been sneaking out to be with and he’s waiting for you when you get home.

͙͘͡★ || you’re indefinitely grounded until he says so and he starts tracking where you go in the tower.

͙͘͡★ || he knows that its a violation of privacy and stuff but dont you see that he’s trying to protect you? alastor is dangerous! he doesn’t get how you didn’t see it earlier.

͙͘͡★ || alastor does succeed on what he set out to do, though. vox is distraught, feeling like a horrible father. he even vents to valentino about it out of all the people!

“-i mean, what kind of father doesn’t even notice their own child sneaking out in broad daylight every day? i should’ve paid more attention to her, im a failure!”

“mhm….yeah….”

͙͘͡★ || val obviously doesn’t give a shit.

͙͘͡★ || after not bumping into you for a while and seeing the up in vox slandering him online, alastor figures what happened.

͙͘͡★ || he’s glad that he succeeded in his mission to bother vox further but does miss talking to you.

͙͘͡★ || vox does vow to make more time for you and be a more attentive dad, so i guess some good comes out of this.

ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

i do requests!

check out my masterlist!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #platonic hazbin hotel x reader #platonic vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #x reader #vox x reader

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junovae · 7 months ago

Note

can you write about the sexy fish man (you know the one)

why yes of course i know which sexy fish man you're talking about!

soft hits, hard truths

sebastian solace x reader ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ slight nsfw

artwork: artwork is NOT mine. art is by @grub-hut on tumblr. go check out their work. sebastian mf solace, everyone

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

summary: after a misunderstanding, sebastian refuses to let you go to bed angry with him. determined to make amends, he begrudgingly starts a pillow flight.

cw: sebastian solace x reader, fluff-ish, suggestive themes of intimacy (MDNI), sebastian is bad at comforting, he tries anyways, you've known him for a few weeks now, a sort of romantic relationship is already established between you two, his shop has a shower and spare mattress in the back, thank goodness he had soap and pajamas, amends are made if you know what i mean

wc: 916

a.n: in honor of beating pressure and sacrificing my posture in order to do it, cheers.

· · ─── ·��· ─── · ·

water droplets fall onto the cement floor as you wring the rest of your wet hair dry. fortunately, sebastian solace had allowed you to stay in his shop for the rest of the night after a day of running from the monsters of the hadal blacksite. unfortunately, you had just found out that he was the primary reason you were being chased by said monsters in the first place.

you walk out of the barely functioning restroom into a cozy little cubby-space just behind his shop. sebastian watched you dry the rest of your hair as you walked towards a broken mirror and started combing through it with your fingers. fuck, he thought to himself. he so badly wanted to be the one to brush the rest of your hair just so you didn't have to lift a finger. but of course he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

"will you talk to me?" he mumbled under his breath, making his way towards you. you eye him from the mirror but continue doing what you're doing. you feel his presence behind you and sure enough, you watch him lean down and rest his forehead against your shoulders.

you smelled like vanilla. you smelled like the vanilla he used to smell during the winter holidays and it was driving him insane. "i'm sorry, okay?" he whispers. now this caught your attention. "did the sebastian solace just say the words 'i'm sorry' to me?" you turn around and walk towards the makeshift bed. he follows you. "i don’t believe it.” a sigh escapes your lips, plopping down onto the mattress and covering yourself with the blanket. you turn away from him.

“i didn’t mean for things to turn out this way- well, okay i did, but i didn’t expect meeting you midway through my plans.” sebastian scratches the back of his neck, staring at your figure. “fishbait, if you hadn’t crawled through the vents and into my shop, i wouldn’t care who gets eaten by those monsters. but you did, and now it sucks seeing you get hurt because now i…”

he trailed off, his voice catching. shit, this was hard. years of solitude and roaming the dreadful cold hallways of his captors’ prison had hardened his heart. he didn’t expect it to happen, but your presence and excessive bantering had brought back an excitement in him (though he would always mask it off with annoyance). all sebastian knew was that even though life sucked, seeing you made it suck less. he couldn’t take it anymore. he needed to hear your voice again. the void of silence between the two of you was starting to create an atmosphere of distance. he couldn't care less if the world hated him, he hated it back. but there was no way in hell he would allow you to look at him with such loathing. panic settling in him, sebastian impulsively does something that catches you off-guard. he grabs the nearest soft pillow and throws it in your direction. it hits your face.

you quickly turn around and sit up to shoot him a sharp glare, pillow now in hand. “are you serious?” you seethe.

“i’m dead serious,” he said, grabbing another pillow. “you’re mad at me? fine. but you’re not shutting me out.” before you could react, he throws a second pillow. this time, it lands in your lap.

he notices a flicker of something crossing your face - anger, disbelief, and… maybe a hint of amusement.

“big mistake,” you shoot him a sly smile.

you launch the pillow in his direction and suddenly, there was war. more pillows flew, tension unraveling with each hit. the both of you were laughing now, dodging attacks and running around the small room. it wasn’t fair that he was larger than you in size but you could make do. and plus, he was extra careful in making sure not to hit you too hard. and here in this moment, seeing another side of him, you realize that you could never stay mad at sebastian solace for too long.

tired from the fight, you trip onto the mattress and fall backwards. he follows suit and lands on top of you, your faces inches apart, panting and out of breath. he supports himself with one arm as he gazes at you with an unreadable expression. “do you forgive me?” he whispers, breathless. the room was a mess, but your silence had been broken.

you plant a soft kiss on his forehead. it was truly unfortunate that the both of you were placed in this prison against your wills, but you knew that he would never intentionally hurt you. “i forgive you.”

oh fuck, he melted. impulsively, he slides one of his hands behind your back and pulls you closer to him, taking your mouth in his, kissing you fervently. your arms tighten around his neck, kissing him deeper, soft moans and grunts replacing the silence. in a heated frenzy, you guide one of his hands downwards. he grumbles as he lifts your shirt up, trailing wet kisses down your stomach.

you smile, feeling the warmth of his mouth. “to make up for you nearly killing me, does this mean i get a discount at your shop tomorrow?”

he laughed, a warm, deep and genuine sound that softened the space between you. “i’d give you a discount every day for free, fishbait… but this,” he whispers sliding down your pajamas, “this is just a huge bonus.”

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

#sebastian pressure #sebastian solace #pressure #sebastian x reader #junovae #pillow fight #letters to juno #pressure roblox

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everlastingauthor · 3 months ago

Text

Dating Jonathan Crane

⋆.˚ ★— Author's Note: Eyy first Jonathan Crane fan fiction, Jonathan Crane aka The Scarecrow has always been my favorite villain from the DC universe since I was a kid! Please do not re-upload my work or feed it to ai, if you wish to translate my work and upload please get my permission first and credit me that's all I ask for, please remember to stay hydrated, take your vitamins and medicine, and remember you are loved.

⋆.˚ ★— Tags: Villain Romance, Angst, Fluff, Nightmare-ish, GN Reader X Jonathan Crane, & Nolanverse Scarecrow

⋆.˚ ★— Request Open: ☑ Yes | No

✦ Jonathan is the type to approach you with charm, a bit of twisted charm. He'll compliment you and get you flowers. He won't let you know that he likes you at first. He'll wait until you reciprocate those feelings and once you do, he'll take you on a date. He'll cook for you at his home. Jonathan lives in a nice farm home that has been in his family for generations, the makeshift scarecrow in the cornfield feels uneasy but you try to enjoy your night with Jonathan, he made your favorite food and made sure everything is perfect such a beautiful night until he tells you about his work and being the Scarecrow. He was ready for you to be frightened even run because Jonathan loved a good chance, but you sit there unfazed and not scared, you tell him that you don't care and want to go on more dates, Jonathan is grinning with delight because now he has even more of a reason to never let you go.

✦ Jonathan absolutely loves to slow dance with you at home, with music in the back around as you both dance. He hands his hands on your hips and head rested against your head, he tells you how beautiful you are and how much he adores you. He'll give you a twirl and pull you back to him. He'll tell you how much you mean to him, how you have invaded his mind like a drug; he'll tell you how no one else can't touch you but him as he grips your hips. If anyone dares look at you, then he'll make them see something else much more dark and twisted that they'll die screaming for mercy. Jonathan thinks these words will scare you off, but no you just kiss him and tell him to keep talking.

✦ Whenever he falls asleep at his desk in the basement, you'll come down there with a wool blanket and drape it over him, you can see he was working on a formula for fear toxin. You'll remove his glasses and kiss him on the head; when you try to walk away, Jonathan will grab you by the arm and pull you onto his lap; he'll wake up looking at you with those blue,, tired eyes. He's so grateful to have you caring for him, especially when you bring him food down to the basement so that he can eat, even water so that he can hydrate.

✦ Whenever Jonathan is having an episode like mumbling to himself or talking to his reflection. He'll try to stay away from you not wanting you to deal with the Scarecrow, no he doesn't want the Scarecrow to meet you because even though Jonathan prides himself on being the Scarecrow, he wouldn't want you to get put in danger with his obsession with fear. The Scarecrow will scream at Jonathan to let him meet you, to play with you, and to even see if you could handle true fear. But Jonathan will scream no and no again, until you come and hug him. You stop him from making his knuckles bleed from hitting the desk, and when he looks at you, the voice in his head is gone. You'll lead him over to the couch and let him rest his head in your lap, as you hum softly running your fingers through his hair, the voices went quiet and it feels nice.

✦ Jonathan loves to get you flowers, chocolates, and give you letters. He prides himself on getting you gifts, nothing cheap or even low looking. Jonathan wants to make sure you get the best from him. Especially in the bedroom, when it comes to sex with Jonathan Crane he likes to be dominant you in the bedroom, he won't see you trembling from fear but from pleasure as he sucks, kisses, and licks in all the right places. He'll tease you and make you beg until your nothing but a whimpering and moaning mess, he'll praise you and tell you how lovely you taste, how good you are doing, and that you can take more. He won't stop until you are breathless and tap out.

✦ Aftercare, Jonathan will give you tons of aftercare after bedroom activities. He'll draw you nice warm bath, get you some water, and fresh pajamas and undergarments. He'll wash you up and kiss your shoulders, he'll tell you how well you did and that you are magical. He'll cuddle with you in bed afterwards, rubbing small circles on your back until you fall asleep.

✦ Of course you get weird stares, nasty comments, and whispers from some people in Gotham, whenever you are out with Jonathan and holding his hand. People assume you are insane like him, how could you date a man that turned Gotham into chaos. But you don't care what others think, this only encourages you to kiss him on the cheek and call him pet names like dear, sweetheart, and my love. You even had a run with Batman when walking back home from your apartment, the Dark Knight trying to warn you how dangerous and insane Scarecrow is. This only made you mad and berate the city hero before walking off.

✦ Jonathan eventually has you move in with him, he wants to wake to you every morning and go to bed with you every night. This is also gives you a chance to be away from your nosey neighbors and find work online that doesn't have to do with Gotham. Because who would hire someone dating a villain.

✦ You once accidentally got dosed with Jonathan's fear toxin when messing around in his lab; you experienced the worst nightmare-ish images, making you scream and kick. Jonathan had to hold you close and rock you against his chest while telling you it was not real and to snap out of it; after a couple of minutes, you had passed out. Jonathan carried you to the bedroom and let you rest. When you woke up, Jonathan brought you water and food but also scolded you for messing around his lab; he told you never to ever go messing around in his lab. You apologized, and Jonathan was just glad you were okay; now he has to order a padlock.

✦ Lastly Jonathan loves when you lay on top of him, whenever he's reading a book. He'll rub your back and sometimes read to you, when the rain is pouring outside, you'll listen to his heartbeat as he reads his book. The blankets are halfway covering your guys' bodies. When you fall asleep, Jonathan will look at you and close his book before wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. You are the peace after his storm and he's grateful to have you in his life.

જ⁀➴ DC Taglist: @stygianoir

#fan fic author #fan fic stuff #fan fiction #fanfic #fandom #scarecrow x reader #dc scarecrow #scarecrow #scarecrow x you #scarecrow x gn reader #dc romance #dc scenarios #jonathan crane #cillian murphy #everlasting writes

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princessaffirms · 2 months ago

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I did everything but I can't get my manifestation (I mean it)

hi angel! 🤍 before anything, i’m sending you so much love because i know how discouraging it can feel when you think you’ve done everything and the 3D still isn’t showing what you want (for now).

also — if you feel comfortable, feel free to let me know what you’ve been doing lately or what “doing everything” looks like for you! sometimes we think we’re persisting, but we might still be unknowingly identifying with the lack, which just reinforces the reality where your desire hasn’t materialized yet.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

now here’s what i lovingly want to remind you of:

first, i highly recommend you check out my recent-ish blog on this topic, where i talk about persisting and DOUBLING DOWN with your affirmations when you don’t see movement in the 3D: 🔗 LINK HERE

personally, when unaligned thoughts creep in like, “i don’t have it in my 3D yet, will it ever come? am i doing something wrong?”, i reframe it as proof that you’re right at the precipice of a breakthrough, especially if you’ve been affirming and affirming.

you’re only acknowledging this lack because the opposite is already true in your mind: you’ve affirmed so much that you already KNOW that your desire is in your 4D, so now you’re like, “ok great, but where is it in my 3D? i know i have it, but can i just physically show up already?”

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

i’m gonna say this with so much love, angel: stop checking for it.

manifestation isn’t about doing everything perfectly. it’s not about obsessively affirming, scripting 10x a day, or even making sure you’re “doing it right.” it’s about deciding what you want, assuming it’s yours, embodying the version of you who has it, and persisting in that inner knowing — no matter what.

when you say “i did everything, but it’s not here,” you’re still identifying with the lack of it. and that belief becomes the assumption you’re seeing the 3D reflect back to you.

but here’s the truth: you can’t “mess up” your manifestation.

it’s already yours. it’s already done. your only job right now is to assume it’s unfolding perfectly, even when you don’t see it yet.

you don’t need to do more. you just need to return to the state of already having it. let that version of you lead.

sending you so much love and light <3

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lady-djarin · 2 years ago

Text

oh captain, my captain - pt.i

dbf!joel miller x f!reader (series of unknown parts)

warnings: legal age gap (joel is early 40's reader is late 20's-ish), no outbreak - circa early 2000’s, talk of readers fem body, reader wears a bathing suit, tension, kissing, mentions of smut, teasing, hints of exhabitionism, still kinda explicit, E 18+

word count: 2.1k

a/n: i can’t stop having daydreams about dbf!joel, he haunts me. so i wanna make at least another part but idk how many yet, i like where this is going so i’ll keep y’all updated ;) <3

joel miller’s instagram

* ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"That's what you want to wear on the boat?" Sarah scanned the very cute but very thin cover up that was barely hiding your black bathing suit underneath. It was one of many options you were debating to sunbathe on the boat.

You turned around and looked in the mirror at yourself. "Yea why? Does it look weird?" Sarah was your best friend partly because she was so honest, she'd never let you go out looking anything less than 'perfect'. Even if you had very different definitions of perfect.

"No, not weird, but our dads are going to be there." She made a disgusted face like she smelled something rotten.

“Oh please it’s not that bad… my ass is completely covered!”

“Girl… your tits!” She pointed an accusing finger at your chest. It was true, they were ‘out’ but they looked good. The bathing suit made sure of that. “You do you, but if your boob flies out in front of both our dads I’ll be the one laughing.”

You giggled as she went back to flipping through a magazine. The two day boat trip was a summer tradition with your dad, Sarah and her dad, Joel. Joel was also your dads best friend. He was younger than your dad but they had a solid relationship after working together for over 15 years. That’s how you gained Sarah as basically a younger sister as well as best friend. It had been just you and your dad for a long time so it was nice having Joel and Sarah around to do ‘family’ things with. The countless family trips, birthdays and holidays meant you grew up around Joel and as you got older your view of him definitely changed.

Since you matured, so had your taste in men. Your first boyfriend in high school was barely even a boy, he was a small minded child with more interest in his baseball ‘career’ than you. He did lots of things that you now realize are the exact opposite of what you want in someone.

You now find yourself chronically single with a few stories to tell along the way. You also hate to admit that over the last couple of those shared holidays and trips that your eyes had started to linger on a particular man.

A man who you definitely should not be looking at that way. Somehow your brain had latched onto the idea that Joel Miller was the perfect man for you. He was caring and sweet and drop dead gorgeous. He was gorgeous in a rugged way, his brown messy waves and deep amber eyes. His cheeks were always covered in stubble. Stubble you wanted to feel between your thighs.

Only problem is, every time you start to think like that, you're reminded that he’s your dads best friend. You hang out with his daughter. It was wrong on so many levels, which only made you fall deeper.

You had caught yourself looking at him more than you care to admit, and him reciprocating just as much. That’s why you wanted to wear the black bathing suit, you knew he’d look.

—————

The morning of the trip was here and you were starting to get nervous. You were going to be trapped on the same small vessel as your biggest crush and your dad. That would throw anyone off.

You finished packing your bag and headed downstairs to find your dad making coffees for you both. As you swing into the kitchen you see another large form, wide shoulders stretching the canvas jacket. Joel turned around with a mug in one hand and rubbed the top of your head with the other. Your heart almost stopped beating for a second as he pulled you into a side hug.

“Hey kiddo,” his voice rumbled through your body at the contact.

He messed up your hair as you pushed away. “Don’t call me that,” you scowled and pushed down your hair. God, you felt like an idiot.

Your dad handed you a travel mug and you made for the bench by the front door to put your boots on. Before you made it, you felt the weight of your backpack being lifted from your shoulder.

“I got it sweetheart, I’m loading up the car.” You almost thought it was your dad at first but you turned to find those amber eyes next to yours. He squeezed past you in the small hallway, his whole body was practically rubbing against yours as he passed. He never called you anything like sweetheart.

He was gone before you could register and left you to put on your shoes.

You made your way to the driveway and Joel held the car door open for you. You settled into the seat behind the driver and he shut the door after you. Also new. The muffled boom of Joel's voice calling for your dad was the only noise until Sarah hopped in next to you. You were starting to dread the next almost 2 hour drive to the lake, having to sit behind Joel and not go crazy as your eyes connected through the rear view mirror.

—————

The boat they rented this year was a little bigger to your surprise. Your dad always made the overnight trip really special; Joel teaching you guys how to fish, making s'mores on the tiny gas stove and stargazing on the water. This year they really went all out, they got a slightly nicer one with a fancy bathroom and everything.

The whole reason you guys started this tradition was because Joel really liked fishing and knew how to drive a boat. He just rented a different one every year. This year it came with cushy seats, full sized beds and a little seating area on the deck. Most of your morning was spent reading on that deck as Joel and your dad set sail. You were thankful your dark sunglasses covered your lingering gaze that slid over Joel's form. Fuck, how could you not? His shirt was soaked with sweat as he worked the boat, muscles straining as he went about his tasks. You had no idea what he was actually doing, so distracted by his movements.

He seemed to be finished as he wiped his hands on a rag and sat himself next to you, slumping down with a sigh.

“Hey, where’s my kid?” He squinted down at your book. Nosey.

“She’s napping. Complained about waking up early.” You yanked your book away with a frown.

“Geez, that girl.” He put his hand on your knee as he stood up. Your skin was instantly on fire. “I’m gonna make some burgers, want one?”

All you could manage was a nod.

—————

The rest of the afternoon was pretty tame. You guys found a spot on the water you liked and the men started fishing and you and Sarah went to your shared room to change. Once you were ready you went to the small kitchen to grab some lemonade… and maybe add some of that vodka your dad brought. While your dad didn't care that you drank, being of legal age and all, he didn't endorse you letting Sarah drink, since she was a few years younger than you. But what he doesn't know won’t hurt him. Plus you poured Sarah half a shot, she'd be fine.

You two sat out there gossiping and reading books and magazines. You did decide to wear the black suit, the one that made your boobs look great. And boy did it pay off.

Since Joel and your dad were sharing the small deck with you guys, you had a perfect view of him. Even better, he had a perfect one of you. You caught him looking at you more often than not. You were actually kind of surprised that your dad didn't notice, or Sarah. But why question a good thing.

After the sun went down everyone changed and you all stargazed on the deck in the warm summer night until finally heading to bed. You and Sarah were sharing a tiny room and an even smaller bed, and while you never minded before, for some reason you couldn’t find a way to get comfortable. You tried your best to fall asleep, hoping the movement of the water would put you out. Once you saw the small clock glowing ‘2:26am’ you decided to go up and get some water, or maybe just stretch your legs.

You made your way up the narrow staircase into the main area where a small couch sat. The small couch that Joel was sitting on.

“Hey, what are you doin’ up?” He looked like he had been awake for a while too. You didn't know he wore glasses. He looked cute.

Fuck.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you rubbed your tired eyes, trying to focus on his face.

“‘M sorry darlin’, need anything?” He stood up from the couch, which was really just a bench with a blanket. He led you into the kitchenette and you waited as he poured you some water.

“Thanks… why are you still awake?” You sipped your water as he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m always worried somethin’s gonna happen to the boat if I fall asleep.” He watched as you finished your glass and put it in the sink. “You havin’ fun at least? I know we haven’t done much yet.”

“Ya I’m having a great time! I like doing nothing,” you admitted with a small giggle. “Plus I like watching you guys struggle with the fish.” That made both of you laugh under your breath.

“I like watching you too, sweetheart.”

Wait.

What?

You kind of just stared at him a little wide eyed while your brain processed his words. He had a sweet smile on his face like he didn’t just drop that bomb. He looked back at you and smiled wider when he saw the look on your face, the absolute shock that made your mouth slack open.

You were unsure of what to do at this point, it’s like your dreams were coming true but you had no idea how to handle it. Thank god he handled it himself by brushing his hand over your cheek, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You were pretty sure you malfunctioned because all you could do was stand there, unsure of how to take it.

“You looked so pretty, you always look so pretty.” He was staring at your lips now, clearly past the point of hiding this.

“Joel…” You almost wanted to pull away, this was kind of wrong.

His hand was still cupping your jaw, like he was unwilling to part from touching you. He looked into your eyes as he pulled you closer. Your heart was in your chest, this was wrong, you should pull away but couldn’t bring yourself to care at this point.

Your lips connected and you instantly melted, he was so warm and big, holding you in his strong arms. He held your waist close, pressing you against him.

The kiss was… something else. No one had ever kissed you like that before, maybe that’s the difference between boys and men.

His tongue slid over yours and you were lost, you both were. All semblance of shyness was gone as you devoured each other. His lips were soft as silk and his muscled arms held you close and roamed your curves. Neither of you wanted to part, even for air until you heard a noise coming from below deck. You reluctantly scrambled away from each other, worried your dad or Sarah would be walking up the stairs.

“I– I’m sorry darlin’,” he couldn't bring himself to look at you.

“Joel, I– it’s ok. Don't be sorry.”

There was a charged energy between you, like a spell neither of you wanted to break. He was the one to break first and he squeezed past you without so much as a look your way. You could tell he looked upset, ashamed almost and that hollow pit twisted in your stomach.

————

The rest of the trip went as usual, except for the fact that you and Joel couldn't keep your eyes off each other.

The only good thing was that your dad and Sarah were none the wiser. You weren't sure if Joel regretted the kiss or not, he seemed to have a permanent guilty look in his eyes. The memory of the kiss and the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you, unable to think of almost anything else.

When the boat docked at the end of the second day and as the group was gathering up the belongings to unload into the truck, you found yourself alone below deck with Joel.

Alone.

“Hey kiddo, ready to go home?” It was almost cold the way he regarded you now.

What the hell? What did you do? He can’t act all high and mighty, he kissed you! You only managed a scoff in response. That melted his icy exterior.

“Why ya givin’ me attitude?” His voice was just barely lower than normal volume, his thick brows knitted in the middle.

“Your acting like that was my idea last night.”

The left over desire from the previous night was boiling over into burning rage, but you couldn’t deny you were still soaking between your thighs.

“You kissed me, Joel!”

“Will you quit yellin’!” He backed you up against a section of wall in the small room. His deep rumble of a voice both angered you and turned you on.

“I’m not ye—,” your voice was cut of by his thick fingers covering your lips.

“Shut up. I swear darlin’, you’ve got a fucking mouth on you.” He was practically growling in your ear. You felt kind of filthy like this; pressed between a wall and Joel’s hard body, his hand smothering your sounds.

“You wanna get caught? Hmm?”

Your eyes sparkled back at him, almost begging him to fuck you here and now. Instead of indulging you, he took one last long look at you before turning away without another word.

—————

After he left you speechless below deck, Joel helped you pack the rest of the bags into the car and thus begun the 2 hour drive back. You sat behind Joel again, on purpose this time, knowing you had power over him now.

You spent the whole way home making eye contact with those big brown eyes in front of you. You did your best to convey your wanton need through your gaze, licking your lips and watching his eyes track the movement.

After you all said your final goodbyes, your dad ran inside to go to the bathroom and Sarah was passed out in the backseat, leaving you once again, alone with Joel.

“I had fun Joel, hope we can do it again sometime.” You refrained from hiding any of the sarcasm and giddy in your voice.

“You better watch yourself darlin’.” You could tell he really was worried about getting caught.

This was going to be fun.

#joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller #joel miller smut #the last of us #tlou #reader fanfiction #smut

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ciminarin · 9 months ago

Text

wfh job means wfa (working from anywhere), the best for a girlblogger thought daughter like me.

as someone who works remotely, i love how i can be literally everywhere as long as i have my devices and can deliver my work on time. i have went on holidays multiple times while still working and it's the best thing ever lol. the work-life balance is definitely balancing. this post will be about my experience, pros and cons!

now playing... ▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||| 2:58 | NEMONEMO by YENA

ᯓ★ let's talk about the pros!!

i can take breaks at any time i want, have my breakfast or lunch at any time without anyone micromanaging me. the next best thing is i can just be myself without worrying how other people perceive me at work. no worrying if i looked bad or if the way i sit, stand or walk is not 'ladylike' i can do wtv tf i want.

i can take naps. like LONG naps. it's heavenly.

i don't have to get ready to work. i literally wake up and go on my laptop. i can do anything before i start too, like playing with my cats, exercise, and never be late for work. how can i be late? i only need to log in on gathertown (a site/app where you can be in the office with your co-workers, in pixel game style) when my work hour start. lol

i'm literally at a cafe rn as i'm typing this. like i said, you can be anywhere as long as you have the money haha

can watch kdramas, movies or horror podcast during work. awesome.

more time to take care of yourself. i have been trying to get back to my self care era after my mental health deteriorated so bad because of my last job. when i say bad, i mean like REAL bad. my self esteem is just gone. i keep trying to find my old self again but i keep getting more and more anxious. by getting into wfh job, i can focus on this side of me more and hopefully be able to feel like myself again.

ᯓ★ now the cons.

it can get boring sometimes because you're stuck at home. i get too lazy to even get ready and go out even though i know i can be anywhere. the library suddenly feels so far away, resulting me to just stay home. this can go on for days.

yeah more time for self care.. but also more time to be lazy. because it's a desk job i don't be moving around anymore unless i want to. and unless i have the motivation.. i will just lay down on my bed.

backaches from sitting too long. leg too.. and my whole body basically.

unless i do intermittent fasting, i WILL eat uncontrollably. having access to unlimited free time and food can make me gain weight AAAHHHH

more money out since i keep buying fancy drinks and food now as i have too much free time... this is a self control problem i know. this is on me.

okay i definitely have more pros & cons but i can't just think of more as of rn. maybe next time i will write part 2 if there is anything i want to add!

ᯓ★ what about my previous job?

it was a shift food & beverage job and it was... an experience i guess (i never want to go back again) i would rather just be a customer damn. i never thought i would ever feel this much anxious feeling until i got into f&b. the first few months was kind of fun and okay-ish, but after that it was hell. at some point i couldn't breathe at work and literally had to go to the clinic to get checked during my work hour.

the way people interact during work was something.. in front of them they play along and laugh together, but behind they talk bad about each other. it got me thinking that they definitely had talked badly about me too, and this made me anxious. ngl, i've been a people pleaser for so long (now i recognize that it can be really bad doing this) so i want everyone to like me.

this also made me think that maybe, other people i know outside work also do this to me? i became anxious of every single interaction i do, offline or online. i keep thinking that maybe even my friends don't like me...

i have now realized that i do not have to be liked my everyone. maybe this people pleasing behaviour is based on my trauma, so i have a really hard time to unlearn this. like what do you mean someone don't like me when i have been nothing but nice to you? you don't even know me that well... i'm so sad

but it has to be stopped. i can't just be out there trying to seek validation from people who are not worth my time. it's hard, but everyday i have to remind myself that there are literally so many people who like and love me for who i am.

i got a fiancé and he's the best ever. i have great friends who like how weird i can get, how loud, how annoying i am. they love me because they want to. and i love them because i want to. and i need to remember that there will be people that dislike me just because they want to, and i don't have to do anything about it.

slowly learning the art of letting them be.

────୨ৎ────

end of log. this was cut short as i need to go now, but thank you for reading, see you next time!

#girl interupted syndrome #girlcore #spilled thoughts #thought daughter #girlblogging #wonyoungism #adulting #healing journey #self care #cinnamoroll #ciminarinlog

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brynnterpretations · 11 months ago

Note

see youve been doing a lotta theboys ship reqs recently HUGE kudos to u got damn, and i love how u write them sm !! hope u dont mind one more ^^ (fine w p much anyone except homelander or deep)

im an anxiety-ridden autistic bi british tguy with a pretty hefty male lean, 5'6"-ish, long hair thats shaved on one side , lotsa face piercings , pretty hairy , scruffy jaw , got a "would be a bear if i hit the gym more often" kinda build . i wear shades 24/7 bc i hate eye contact and bright lights . i generally dont bother picking out an outfit but when i do i lean towards a kinda 50s greaser vibe even tho i dont have a bike or anything

im a recluse and not particularly social , i end most conversations quickly but politely tho i dont let myself get walked over . i do like going for walks , particularly walking my cat , or otherwise hauling something around , its a good workout , but most of the time im indoors and just drawing/animating (what im attending uni for) or playing games . i prefer talking online to in person cause of low social battery , even for family n close friends .

im insecure but otherwise i think j have pretty good self-esteem , and tho im not diagnosed im like 95% sure ive got covert narcissism , i see most people as below me in some way but i dont express this obviously . a lack of attention , particularly online , is distressing and upsetting , and i get defensive very easy . i THRIVE on the feeling of caring for or protecting someone both bc it feeds this and is the only time i can power through my social anxiety .

uhhh cat lover , marine life lover , would spend the rest of my life in an aquarium , would rather be a shark than a human , dont like getting dressed if i dont have to , nail biter , dragon fanatic , would probably be a supe given the chance

hope thats not too much , and thank you !

Thank you so much for the kind words! I hope you like this. ♡

I ship you with...

Frenchie ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @samuelroukin ★ (link)

You and Frenchie meet while you're walking your cat. Frenchie is a huge cat guy (I will die on this hill), and though he hasn't had any of his own since his early twenties, he still makes it his mission to interact with them as much as he can. Cat on the street? Gets pet. Cat in those windows of veterinary offices that you can walk into if you don't seem too shady? Gets pet. Cat in a house the coup is raiding? Gets pet, and moved to a safer location.

So, when he sees your cat being walked, the dude has to go over. Plus, not gonna lie, even in NYC, it's pretty uncommon to see cats being walked, especially down the street that the boys' hideout is located on.

He uses small talk to warm up the awkwardness that comes with a random French man coming up on the street to pet your cat, and eventually asks if you'd ever want to go on a walk sometime. While he initially had his eyes set on your cat, when the guy looked up at you, he immediately saw that you're really, really cute. He has a weakness for facial piercings and for general "scruffiness", so add that on to the cat and the general reservedness? Bro's set.

Through that, you start hanging out a lot and getting to know each other. Frenchie's not a texting person, so you two tend to call a lot, and have a lot of cute but low-key dates, like cooking meals for you at his apartment and playing video games.

And, on that note: Frenchie absolutely sucks at video games, but he has fun playing them with you. While Frenchie is very spatially aware in real life, he is not in online games — bro would get absolutely flamed in any CoD lobby — but would have a blast going through your video game of choice by your side.

You would have to help him with the controls... a lot... but it would be worth it.

Frenchie doesn't really believe in "rushing in" or "waiting too long"; he just makes it official once he feels like it's right. After 2 – 3 months with you, he'd ask if you'd like to be together upfront.

And, once you are: you two would be very, very happy together.

Frenchie's a very intuitive person, and while he wouldn't make any assumptions considering your diagnoses/suspected conditions (he's not about that life), he would catch on to your need for attention and care.

Since he's not really a texter, he'd either call you or send you voice notes to say good morning, good night, tell you about something that reminded him of you, etc.

Is your #1 fan concerning your art, and is endlessly in awe of what you do. He would constantly show your work off to the coup, and would definitely commission you for artwork when your schoolwork slowed down (no, he won't accept free shit, he will commission you, point-blank).

Considering Frenchie's been through a lot, you being a caring person and a "protector" would do wonders for the relationship. While Frenchie's a protective guy himself, the dude wants some time to slow down and be taken care of, and would love anything you did for him and reciprocate it completely.

Is a huge physical touch guy, and as long as you were fine with it, would always have an arm around you, his hand in yours, etc.

Also would definitely love to be the little spoon with you, especially because you're very close in height (he's about 5'8).

Is a big gift-giver, and would always purchase anything he saw that reminded him of you, whether it's a shark stuffed animal, or one of those seashell necklaces that street vendors sell.

Also, he's a bit freaked out about marine life — the vastness of the ocean really, really freaks him out, partially because of a near-drowning accident he had as a kid — but would always go to aquariums with you and try to find aquatic spaces to do stuff.

He would do the ocean, but as much as he loves you, he's probably gonna try limiting that to special occasions.

Would 100% spoil your cat, and if you were up for it, adopt one for you two to co-parent.

Also doesn't have many reservations about moving in "early" — again, timestamps aren't really too important to him — and would especially encourage it if it helped any student finances.

On that note, the guy cannot do structured and organized learning, so he would always brag about your postsecondary education and do everything to encourage you, whether it's bringing you your favorite snacks while working on end-of-the-year projects or rubbing your hands and back after finishing an art piece.

He wouldn't hide his work with the Boys from you, and honestly, would encourage you to get involved, particularly through artwork — anti-Supe propaganda, especially aesthetic pleasing ones, have been lacking nowadays. He'd be open about his work and introduce you to the boys before you became official.

And that brings us to...

The Boys ☻

Friends

GIF Source: @yocalio ★ (link)

So, it's corny... but you and Butcher definitely both bond over both being British/from the U.K. You're one of very few people who were able to immediately understand both his accident and what he was referring to in British slang upon first meeting.

Plus, the guy likes you, even if he doesn't talk to you much. He respects reserved types a lot, and appreciates you leveling out Frenchie's chaos instead of blowing it up (...most of the time).

He wouldn't make an effort to get super close to you — let's be real, he's got a lot of shit to deal with — but would probably invite you out for drinks every once in a while.

A dealbreaker for Frenchie is whether you get along with Kimiko, and fortunately, you two do. While you're not extremely close — you're both pretty introverted, and Kimiko never wants to feel like she's prying — Kimiko really, really likes you, especially when she sees you drawing. She's quite the artist herself, and is fascinated by not only your amazing work, but by the fact you're going to college for it.

Whenever you stop by the hideout, she wouldn't communicate with you much, instead opting to just enjoy your company in silence.

And, if you bring art supplies, she would be so down to parallel-play with you and her drawing side-by-side. While she's not academically trained, she is extremely good at drawing landscapes, and would be very intrigued by your art, as mentioned.

Also would draw you as a present, which would be very cute, even if not fully anatomically correct.

M.M. would like you a lot — he vibes with the shades the first time he sees you — and I feel like you two would be the closest out of the coup. While him encouraging you to would be a bit... annoying... the guy really enjoys your company, and would bond over your shared love of cats.

Would also ask you a lot of questions about cats, because his cat is getting a bit too pudgy and might need to take some strolls downtown.

While you'd be close, he wouldn't ask to hang out with you too much outside of the coup, instead having most of your fun during late nights, considering he's so busy; he'd probably order a pizza for you, Frenchie, and Kimiko and talk with you, and play video games on the very rusty-crusty-dusty XBox that they got to placate Hughie.

Also: he's killer at FPS games, and if you play one with him, y'all will immediately become best friends.

Hughie, Annie, and you wouldn't be super close, but you wouldn't be on bad terms either.

Hughie, quite honestly, would be intimidated; as a ball of social anxiety who tends to seek out more talkative types (E.G. Robin and Annie), he tends to overthink with more quiet people who are less easy to read, and your shades can make it pretty hard for him.

However, your art would definitely lead him to talk to you more (albeitly awkwardly and only in passing), and, if you or Frenchie mention that you play video games... he would try engaging in a yap session with you.

Yes, yes, it's not a stereotypical, "cool guy" game, but Hughie is a huge fan of Minecraft — he's an excellent architect and has actually made tons of custom maps for people to download — so if you play either (or you don't give him a hard time about it), he'd open up to you a lot more.

As for Annie, she just... can't really get a vibe on you. She thinks you're a pleasant person and respects you (she has a lot of admiration for people who go into the arts), but she's someone who believes to be able to "vibe-check" people pretty easily, and because she can't on you, doesn't really know where to go from there.

She wouldn't want to pry, so she wouldn't push you to open up yourself, but if she got more glimmers of you — whether it's through overseeing you and Kimiko drawing, or catching you and M.M. playing on the XBox — she'd spark up a lot more conversations with you.

#“not homelander or the deep” is real #the boys #ship request #the boys ship request #annie january #billy butcher #frenchie the boys #hughie campbell #kimiko miyashiro #marvin t. milk #mother's milk the boys #m.m. the boys

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icypenguin · 2 years ago

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★~ Kazuha Headcanons

hi guys! im trying to post daily or atleast 4 times a week! i hope you guys enjoy my creations 💗💗💗

Teyvat au

- whenever he’s gone, he will write notes to you daily! beidou always catch him writing notes for you on the crownest and teases him for it.

- when he sees you waiting for him at the docks, his face will immediately brighten up and he’s filled with joy.

- if he went to a nation that you’ve both never been to or literally anywhere, he will always get you a small gift that reminds him of you.

- hugs? cheeks kisses? suprise kisses? YES! YES! YES! your favourite spot with him is under the sakura/maple tree. you both often cuddle or just hangout there and enjoy the view.

- sometimes he will ask you if you want to join him on his next adventure! you will definitely cuddle and stargaze with him on the crownest. (don’t let beidou find out about this or she’s going to tease you both nonstop!)

- he will absolutely introduce you to alll the crux members and now when they see you both together theres no way to escape the teasing…

- petnames: dear, darling, maple. sweetheart, love.

~ small drabble ~

the night was chilly as i was cuddling on the crownest with kazuha. blanket covering out body from the cold wind. when all of the sudden he whispers something in my ear “The deep rolling waves, Are attracted by the moon, Our love never dies”. “did you just whisper a haiku to me?” i asked as my cheeks burns, showing a red-ish colour. “oh kazuha, how could i ever return the sweet talks you gave me?” i lay my head on his shoulder as we stare at the ocean, the waves we’re calm i could listen to it until i sleep… kazuha looks at me with a passionate gaze. he looks like he wanted to ask me something. “say, dear, would you like to come with me on my next adventure?” as i heard what he said i felt like i want to jump as high as i can. i’ve been wanting to hear him ask that question as day by day my life got even dull than before. “oh kazuha! i would love to!” i answer him while hugging him. kazuha chuckled and said “glad to hear, ill inform captain beidou later.” he then looked at my direction and kissed me on the cheeks, forhead and lips. we continue cuddling until a voice interupts us “i see loverboy reunited with his dearest, huh?”. oh, i could immediately recognise that voice! the brown haired captain was looking at us with a smirk on her face… what could go so wrong…?

~~~

Modern au (college au)

- you and him are neighbours so everyday he will wait for you at your front door so you can walk together.

- if youre ending the class later than him, he will buy you strawberry or banana milk so that you get more nutrients!

- his and your friends always tease you both. even though you both say ‘we’re just friends’ oh they clearly know you’re more than that!

- your parents knows him as he always hangoug with you almost everyday! either if its doing homework together or just chilling together.

- he will totally confess to you at prom! with bouquet and chocolates~

- he will hold your hand whenever you’re walking together. and hugs are appreciated too.

- petnames: darling, sweetheart, love. if he’s feeling a bit silly: cinnamonbun, maplesyrup, cupcake, sweetie pie.

~ small drabble ~

last week, school just announced prom is about to come. i was excited but also nervous as im not sure who i would like to go with. i mean.. it’s obviously kazuha but well- he’s been receiving many people that’s asking him out! with this problem im a bit afraid he will accept one of them.. i supose if im not going with him then i won’t go to prom! at lunch, kazuha looked a bit nervous. i didn’t know what’s going on as he was more quiet than he usually is. so i decide to ask him “kazuha? is anything bothering you?”. kazuha looked at me and replied “oh no, its nothing”. i didn’t believe what he said but i decide to slide that answer. i was peacefully eating my lunch when all of the sudden he told me “hey uh- could you meet me at the school garden after school? i want to ask you something..”. i said “oh suree! ill meet you under the big tree ok?” he only nods his head as a respond.

*time skip to after school hehe*

the bell rang signaling that school is over. i quickly went under the big tee at the school garden and kazuha was already there. “hey kazzz! sooo what do you want to ask mee?” i asked in curiosity. i’ve been waiting for this momet since the time he told me to meet him after school. “oh- hey.. i didn’t see you coming.. um-“ he looked nervous and he was avoiding eye contact. i gave him some time to process what he wants to say “um.. w-ould you like to go to prom with me, y/n?”. i can see his ears going red and he pulled out a bouquet and a heart shaped container thats filled with chocolate. hearing this question made my heart go crazy! i quickly replied “OH YES! YES! uh- i-i mean mhm! i would love tooo!” i can feel my face getting a lot warmer as heat rushes through it. i accept the bouquet and chocolates from him and tackle him into a hug. we both ended up falling on the grass, laughing.

~~~

OMG MY GRAMMAR SUCKS SOOO MUCH IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭 kazuha is my fav but idk im not that proud with this oneeee ill prob make something like this later on… idk if im just not feeling it or what but i hope u guys enjoy this and advices are appreciated thankyouu!

#kazuha kaedehara #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha genshin impact #kazuha genshin x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha #kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #kazuha fluff

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bigdreamsandwildthings · 2 years ago

Text

Review: Business or Pleasure (Rachel Lynn Solomon)

Rating: ★★★★.5/5

“I am a writer. I have always been a writer, but somewhere along the way, maybe to shield myself from the possibility of failure, I stopped writing for myself. I stopped writing for the pure love of it and let my voice disappear into someone else’s. Not anymore. This book will have Finn’s name on the cover - I’ve known that since the beginning. And the next one, I’m determined, will have mine.”

This was SO fun and spicy. I absolutely loved picturing the cast of Teen Wolf as the Nocturnals cast, even if they didn’t 100% line up, and I always love this kind of wish fulfillment romcom set in the acting world.

Chandler Cohen is a writer. She's gotten into ghostwriting to pay the bills, but when the "author" of her most recent book didn't even know who she was at a signing, Chandler is having a crisis. The night turns around when she meets a man at the bookstore bar, buuuuut he turns out to be the worst sex she's ever had. She's fine to put that whole night in the past - until a new job crops up, and her new author is none other than that man she met in the bar...who also happens to be an actor in the cult supernatural hit show, the Nocturnals.

This feels on par with Spoiler Alert for me. There is something about imagining a romance with a TV star that is just *chefs kiss*, at least for me.

I really liked Chandler as our FMC. She's unafraid to communicate, especially in the bedroom, but she can't seem to face the fact that she needs more out of her career, and her journey to realizing that is a lot of fun. Finn is so sweet, and the way that they deal with his...*ahem*...shortcomings is hilarious and sexy and never feels awkward (except when it should). The communication between these two is really next level and it makes the book better than some other romances where our leads just can't seem to JUST. TALK.

I also really loved the cons in here, and I wish we got more of them. I used to love going to conventions, and I feel like the atmosphere and general vibes could've been explored more and brought even more richness and fun to the story. However, what we do get is great.

And the cast of the Nocturnals! Like I said, I had clear pictures of them in my head, and I wish we got more time with them. Spinoffs, maybe...?

If you like Hollywood-ish romances, communication, and good spice, this is an excellent choice. It's light without being too light, and so easy to fly through and enjoy.

#booklr #book photography #book picture #book review #business or pleasure #rachel lynn solomon #na fiction #contemporary fiction #bookworm #bibliophile #book lover #book nerd #book community #book aesthetic #my photos #my reviews #mine

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krenenbaker · 2 years ago

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Krenenbaker's ships

This is a list of the ships I enjoy most from my various (current) fandoms, in no particular order. I'm a bit of a multishipper, so there are quite a few on this list, and some of them are... kind of 'out there'. I've starred my absolute favourites, but I enjoy all of these to some extent! I've also put a small section below for ships that I dislike at the end. Please feel free to talk with me about any of these, and if there's one you like that's not on this list, you can talk with me about it and I'll let you know my opinion ^w^

Twisted Wonderland

✧ ★Trey x Jade ✧ ★Rook x Trey ✧ ★Azul x Jamil ✧ ★Cater x Malleus ✧ ★Silver x Idia ✧ Cater x Idia ✧ Silver x Cater (thanks to @kami-kun1003 ♡) ✧ Malleus x Jade (thanks to @thehollowwriter ♡) ✧ ★Floyd x Riddle ✧ ★Floyd x Che'nya ✧ Rook x Che'nya ✧ Riddle x Azul ✧ Riddle x Ace (ish) ✧ Ace x Deuce ✧ ★Deuce x Epel ✧ Epel x Jack ✧ Rook x Vil ✧ Trey x Vil ✧ Azul x Ace (ish... it's a bit of a crackship)

Stardew Valley

✧ ★Elliott x Harvey ✧ Sam x Sebastian ✧ Leah x Haley ✧ Shane x Haley ✧ Maru x Penny ✧ Elliott x Gunther ✧ ★Marnie x Marlon

BBC Ghosts

✧ The Captain x Havers ✧ ★Robin x Julian ✧ ★Robin x Mary ✧ Alison x Mike

The Disasterous Life of Saiki K.

✧ ★Kaidou x Kuboyasu ✧ Nendou x Hairo ✧ Saiki x Satou (as a QPR, NOT a romantic relationship) ✧ Imu x Teruhashi

Ships I dislike

Anything incestuous (ex. Floyd x Jade, Idia x Ortho, Kusuo x Kusuke, etc. just... no.)

Any ships between an adult and a minor (especially if the minor is a child)

Ships with Ortho or Lilia

Any ships involving staff x students (again... no.)

Kalim x Jamil

Leona x Ruggie

Azul x Idia

Vil x Neige (for the most part)

Rook x Neige

Malleus x Sebek

Malleus x Silver

Silver x Sebek

Maru x Harvey

Abigail x Sebastian

Sam x Penny

And to a lesser extent:

Riddle x Trey

Pat x The Captain

Leah x Elliott

I also have some ships from other fandoms, and I'm generally open to other ships, too. In addition, I like a number of polyam ships, but for the sake of brevity, I left them off this list.

#krenenbaker's :)#introduction #krenenbaker's ships #I know a lot of my moots aren't canon x canon shippers #It seems I'm doing all the shipping for you instead ♡

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anniezsecretz · 2 years ago

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Replacement ★ (Ch 1) OC x Simon "Ghost" Riley

ao3 version of this can be found here! welcome back y'all and heres my brainrot of COD <3 callsign "trick" (hence the link name), femme mc but the pronouns switch here and there to they/them im new to this kind of stuff, so if you think sumn (like a tag) is not right, let me know!!! first chapter (this one!) ★ prev ★ next

★★★★★★★★★ chapter tags: // anxiety, older brother price, captain OC, Simon “Ghost” Riley/OC, trauma mentions, emotional support pup, OOC Ghost (for a reason), spiteful Ghost, enemies to lovers (enemies), vague mentions of death, canon deviation, brief-ish panic attack with decent description, angst no comfort, no smut :( ★★★★★★★★★ bite-sized synopsis: captain trick has a rough and anxious first day.

Okay. The first day with a new squad, and here I am. I’m on a cargo ship, landing in 3 minutes, and just barely mentally collected. It’s gotten to the point I have to anxiously pet Axel while taking in deep breaths; ironically he is more relaxed than I am on this plane. Planes always gave me bad anxiety, and my emotional support pups nudged my hand with his snout to alert me. So I sit back in my seat, close my eyes, and brace for the usually-rough landing.

But despite my attempt to relax in my seat, I can hear the soldiers behind me talking. I can barely hear it through my earmuffs, but I can still pick out details of it.

“Did you know 141 is stationed here for the month?” One soldier asked with excitement.

“Yeah, dude! We get to see Ghost! N’ I heard a rumor Captain Trick is joining them, that’s why she’s— on. this. plane! ” Wow. Okay, well it seemed like I was a hot topic.

I dozed off to continue bracing myself, gritting my teeth and an extreme grip on the seat’s armrests. ★★★

We landed. And after 5 minutes we were let out of the plane, Axel staying at my side as we walked off the plane. Uy, it’s cloudy as hell down here. Maybe I even have to change my goggles to compensate for the cloudy conditions— but that doesn’t matter as much. What does matter is who is waiting for me.

“Verdano!” John Price, my good old friend, was there with his taskforce to greet me. We greeted each other with a hug and then talked for a few moments. But already, his squad was gawking at me, especially this one with a mohawk, who I briefly waved at. Then John turned me to face the group awkwardly and Axel forced his snout into my gloved hand to be a comfort. “Everyone, this is Verdano. We met a few years ago and we’ve kept close contact, thas funny, innit Ver?”

I nod at John while I was too terrified to speak to the group yet. So instead, I give a polite wave and a bow of the head. But I noticed that not only was the mohawk gawking at me, but the other guy with a skull mask was also staring at me. Huh. Two skulls, hm?

“I’m Seargent Johnny MacTavish! Callsign Soap,” said the mohawk (now MacTavish) while putting his hand out to shake. Of course, to be polite, I took it in a firm shake and a gentle nod of the head. Then he directed to the skull one. “N’ this is Lieutenant Sim— Ghost! Ghost, his callsign’s Ghost.”

John leaned into my ear like he was telling me gossip. “He isn’t too fond of others sayin’ his name. Other than you n’ I, probably.” I nod in understanding before giving a small wave to Ghost. Jeez, I really do not feel like talking today.

Then they showed me Gaz and Roach. Gaz has a noticeable Union Jack flag on his hat, his posture being upright and much more at attention than the others. But that didn't stop a light smile on his face while greeting me with his name and a handshake. Roach is the silent type like me and waves back. Aww, he has two antennae on his helmet that look like roach antennae. How cute!

“Come on, Ver. I’ll show you around. N’ everyone? Remember, debrief at 1700.” John put his hand on my soldier and led the way to the main base, dismissing his squad as he and I caught up on some much-needed talk. ★★★

That Ghost guy has been stalking me while I'm exploring the base on my own and familiarizing myself with the layout. I catch him looking at me in the shadows, just suddenly appearing in the same room as me, and doing that thing I’ve had to cut my own L.t’s from doing; intimidating the rookies.

Well, he’s gonna have a rude wake-up call.

I especially noticed it when he was stalking me as I looked over my favorite sniper rifle, the beautiful McMillan Tac-50 in my hands. I even caught glimpses of Ghost looking amused in the eyes, it was… odd. I was fascinated by this man. Like, who names themselves Ghost? And isn’t considered an edgy teen? ★★★

1700 rolled about, Soap sitting to my left and Ghost sitting to his left. But John was punctual as usual, everything being ready for the second it turned 5.

“A’igh! Now that everyone’s settled, Verdano?” Oh yeah. I was gonna introduce myself. Got it. I took every ounce of bravery in my body and took a deep breath before going up in front of everybody. Shit, I haven’t talked! Does that mean they’re gonna be upset over how I sound?

Fuck. No time to think, I straighten myself out and put on my brave voice.

“Good evenin’ ev’ryone,” my Mexican accent mixed with my Aussie accent obviously stunned some people in the room. Uy. It really was a harsh mix, I remember everybody points that out at least once when they were familiarized with me.

“I’m Captain Annette Verdano. Callsign Trick. You mighta heard o’ me, you mighta not, either way, it doesn’t matter.” I take a deep breath and Axel is nuzzling my hand. “I am officially yer co-leader for Taskforce 1-4-1. It’s a pleasure to be workin’ with y’all, I hope we really do get along! 'N I hope you can kick my ass at least once." Okay, nailed it. Absolutely 100% nailed it despite the pit in my stomach saying otherwise. The pit in my stomach made me feel completely wrong.

But to keep up appearances, I give a nod of my head and sat back down while John took my spot. He was already starting to talk about an upcoming mission in a month, and leaving me to recharge from that.

Sure, I handled platoons before. But I haven’t done one since Xio. Our platoon was the last one I managed, the one she was in, and the one we met through. Fuck it’s been a year. I need to sort my shit out, especially with these upcoming missions. At least I have Axel at my side. ★★★

Then it was sleeping time in the barracks. Since this wasn’t really their actual base, we had two people in a room. MacTavish and Gaz shared, myself and Ghost shared, while Roach and Price had their own. I didn't know why though. But apparently the reasoning for pairing Ghost and I was “the respect that lurks with wearing the mask”. Aka, just so we can wear our masks without pestering the other to take it off.

When I entered the room, there were little to no decorations. Just a perfectly made bed with a few teddy bears. One had a mohawk like Soap’s, the other a mustache and hat like John’s, one with little antennae to hint to Roach, and the last one had a UK hat like Gaz. D'awww, t hat’s oddly endearing. I set my shit and the files I was tasked to read before sleeping tonight on my bed across from Ghost's. Shit, the number of files I had was excessive. Two boxes full of them! Either way, it was time for me to settle down. I took my helmet off just to replace it with a regular hat right after, dropping my vest onto my bed, and just taking off general heavy shit.

Eventually, I could have the pleasure of a nice shower, especially since we had the privilege of a bathroom each to share in our rooms. I haven't had a shower for a long while, and at this point, I’m sure I reeked, but I know nobody would get close enough to smell. Thank the shower gods for blessing me on this fine day. ★★★

I felt comfortable now. I was fresh out of the shower with my hair washed and dried with a fresh balaclava that had my signature animal skull on it, walking into the main room from the bathroom.

“Ghost?” I called out when seeing him flip through my boxes of files, sitting like a mom waiting for her out-of-control kid to come back at 12 AM.

“Annette Verdano, age 28, Captain at 25. Has two parents in Bendigo, Australia n’ two brothers servin’ the Mexican military in Las Almas, notably part of Los Vaqueros. So you immigrated to Australia, n’ then joined the military for a green card?” Wow. He liked to talk a lot. I lean against the bathroom door frame and stare him down. “Yeeep," I drew out obnoxiously. "Ended up havin’ more fun than I thought I would, been parta the military since I was 16. Over 12 years in service, y’know?” I laughed a bit before walking over to him sitting on my bed. “Put my files down, Ghost. Is there a reason why yous lookin’ through my sheet?”

“You’re three years younger than me ‘n a captain, you don’t think that’s suspicious?” He tried to taunt me by waving my own file in front of me, then standing and putting it out of my reach. Damn, my height.

He was amused by my struggle too. I can see it behind his eye black when he raised it up and over his head, still hella out of my reach. “No. I don’t. I worked damn hard for my position ‘n I fuckin’ deserved it. You can shove my insignia up your ass if you have a problem with it, Lieutenant.” I used my authoritative voice, hands on my hips and that angry captain stare.

Ghost tilted his head, his eyes narrowing back at me like he was trying to square me up. From what I read from his body language in the meeting, I definitely somehow pissed him off. Maybe he’s salty about how he isn’t a captain and I am.

“I ain’ gonna say it again, Lieutenant. You better drop that file before I teach you how to respect your authority again .” With a bite in my voice, he yielded. Dropping the file on my bed and going to his side of the room to collect a few things and disappear into the bathroom.

I sat on my bed with a hard sigh before grabbing the file he was looking over– mine– and reading it. What did they put on my file?

It was a few pages. The first page with my full name, basic details, when I got promotions, and my time at the military academies. Then the second with my qualifications, missions, etcetera, etcetera. Then my health pages, detailing my hospitalizations and mental health shit. I couldn’t help but notice the three sticky notes added to my file at the bottom in John’s recognizable shitty cursive writing.

Allowed to wear their mask! Helps their mental health coping, don’t ask to take off was the first one. It made me smile knowing how long ago John wrote this, he was the one I went to for help to allow the army to let me wear a mask.

Next note, Emotional support dog (the big ass Doberman) is registered as Axel Rose. All his documents are put in his own file which should be at the back of this one. D’aww. He even got all of Axel’s documents put together for me. I can tell this one is newer, the ink is still dark and nearly untouched.

Last note… Do not mention Simon Riley. At all. Or Xiomara Garcia (their late wife) only other squad members she led are allowed to speak about her.

. . .

That last note kind of made me feel something in my chest. Hurt. I grabbed onto the dog tags hung around my neck, Xiomara, Simon, and my own dog tags.

I miss them both. I miss them so much. I miss Simon making me feel safe and assured, watching my six and being my cover fire when I needed him to be while I reloaded my rifle before taking the final shot to save the both of us. And then I miss Xiomara making me feel self-assured, confident. I miss seeing her smile and how she’d cheer everybody up with her encouragement, then kiss me every time some random person asked her out at a bar or in the mess hall.

Fuck. Not even a mask like the one I wear is something to keep me from my past, especially not when fucking John is the one writing them.

To be fair, I did go to him a lot about it. I vented to him, he vented to me. Since both of us are Captains, there is a silent understanding between the both of us about the things we’re forced to witness. Choices we’re forced to make, just to keep everything fucking running.

Yet somehow, all of the emotions in me flowed out the second Axel perked up and jumped onto my bed to curl into me. He laid his heavy head on my lap and closed his eyes with calm breathing. My boy really did know me so well, his ears lowered while showing me unconditional love and care. Well, I guess John really does care about me too if he’s putting these notes in my files for others. As far back as a few years ago, even.

I changed files, flipping through MacTavish's, then Garrick’s, then Sanderson’s. Finally reading Ghost’s files, right in front of his dumbass on his bed lounging. He was glaring at me past his balaclava when I put up his file to block my face. I was s kimming through the information, and I finally actually looked at his name.

Simon Riley.

. . . This day just keeps getting more and more fucked. Every single minute, I get assaulted with something else. I pulled up Simon’s dog tag around my neck and compared the service numbers on the document and Si’s dog tag. But as I expected, it was completely mismatched. Fuck. I hate when I meet other Simon Rileys– it’s happened a few times, but this one was easily the most hurtful since I can’t actually compare faces. I hold his tags tight in my hand to the point I got white knuckles, doing my best to keep it all in after my heart skipped that fucking much. Then I looked at his tags and read them over again, and stared at the picture of him I had added to a silicone dog-tag-shaped picture frame.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Shit, am I having an attack? I can't tell. My breath won’t steady, my eyes won’t clear, the feeling of a knot in between my stomach and throat. I want to puke, bile running up from my gullet to wedge itself in my throat. My mind hurts, it hurts so much. If Simon had seen me like this he would hug me, Xio would hold me, and I would be taken care of. If they were here, they would make it all better. They would make sure every ounce of pain was gone, every single ounce. They would take every bit of hurt in me away if they were just here.

But neither of them is here. Axel alerts me the second he could and puts his big paw on my hand. I put the file down slowly and took deep breaths. In through my nose, hold, exhale for as long as I can. It took a few moments but with Axel's gentle snout-prodding, my breathing tactics, and clearing my head to think of simple things like mushroom spores... the panic fades slowly from my body. The adrenaline goes down, and I'm left without much breath but much nicer thoughts.

Ghost could see me panicking I’m pretty sure. But he didn’t seem to care, and that’s how I like it. I closed the files after having done a tiny bit of my research on everybody in the group and I decided to pick up on it before I start one-on-one training with the squad tomorrow.

He stared at me with dark eyes like he could see through me but I didn’t care. I just put the boxes next to my bed and lay on my back, content with falling asleep just like that.

While I can. ★★★

I woke up bright and early at 0430, the sun peeking out by the time I was ready and out of the room. I had a quick smoke before going to John’s office after having a protein bar just to keep me somewhat full. “I read up on ev’ryone. ‘N thanks for tha lil’ notes on my file, John. It was real sweet o’ you.”

John shook his head while sipping his coffee, nearly black just as I remembered. He only adds a spoonful of sugar and that’s it. “No worries, Anne. Y’know I need to make sure the generals can take care of ya!” He belly laughed a bit while leaning back in his chair. “You remind me of a siblin', Anne. I want you to be just fine– even if I know you can watch yourself.”

With a brow raised, I slightly laugh. “Fair dinkum, John?” I asked with a curious tone in my voice while I tilt my head.

“Fair dinkum, Anne. Whatever the bloody hell that means.” He laughed again, just as giggly as I remembered. But he calmed himself down quicker than before to show that old smile I was familiar with. “You’re just like-a sista to me. N’ may God n’ the Queen strike me down to say otherwise.” Ah, he’s even more of a British cunt than the last time I saw him too.

But either way, the expression was sweet. It brought an unprecedented smile to my face behind my mask, only being outwardly expressed when I raised my goggles over my cap. “Ah crikey, John. Guess you’re like my damn oldah brother then, aye? Just my third n’ ‘bout hundred years older than me, viejo .” By the way his mustache moved when he squinted his eyes like he was trying to understand and made me laugh. “Oh wait, forgot! You tea drinkers don’t know Spanish. Guess I gotta teach you someday,” I said with a taunting tone. John’s face scrunched with embarrassment, slightly reddening from what I caught.

“Oh, don’t be makin’ me take the piss now, Annes!” He groaned while shaking his head out of frustration. I will forever call him viejito and he will never understand.

“Viejito blanquito. There. If you surprise me with how whipped into shape these boys are, maybe I’ll consider tellin’ you what that means. But so far with that puto Ghost you mixed me with, I ain’ too impressed,” I explained with a slight huff at the mention of Ghost. “N’ no warnin’ ‘bout his name either, John?” I feign offendedness with an exaggerated tone and a gloved hand dramatically pressed to my chest. “How dare you, you drongo!”

Luckily John had picked up on my humor over the years. He knew I wasn’t actually pissed, but he also knew I wasn’t necessarily positive about it either. “Well, he came about durin’ a good time. It’s just unfortunate the names are exactly to Simon– God bless his heart. I didn’t want to scare you away from this because of it.” He looked at me with sincerity in his eyes and bulky arms folded over his chest. “You know I would’ve told you if it weren’t for that.”

With a heavy sigh, I understood what John was getting at. “A’igh, a’igh. I understand you, mate.” I sat on the chair across from him past his desk, scratching the back of my head. “Still, did you have to put me in the same room as him?”

He noticeably bit his inner cheek while averting his eyes like he was thinking. “I know you don’ like curtain twitchers, ‘n I trust Siii… Ghost. I trust Ghost to not be like that with you, ‘n I know you wouldn’t be like that with him either.”

“But why not fucken uh… I ‘unno, Garrick? Or MacTavish? Even Sanderson? They all seem like fine lads to share rooms with, y’know?” I bitch and moan about this but with decent reasoning, throwing my head back dramatically.

Price leaned forward. “As much as I love ‘em, Johnny pokes at Ghost ‘bout his mask here and there. In his sleep he even tried gettin’ a peek ‘n the Lieutenant nearly killed him.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a frustrated sigh when recalling the incident. “But Kyle ain’ as bad as Johnny, I’ll give that bloke that, but he still asks about it from time to time. I bet he’d ask Johnny to do the dirty work for him too, as much as I love ‘im.”

Then his head popped up after his shoulder hunched a bit. “N’ Gary? He ain’ too bad, but I know you like your sleep. He’ll be up at night wakin’ you up with him screamen at kids online, that’s why he has his own room. Nobody wants to bunk with Gary.”

With a defeated sigh, I groan like a teenager and lean the chair back, dangerously teetering on the edge. “Fine. Fine. Youuu win, you fucken boga–” The door opening suddenly made me and the chair fall right down from how unexpected it was.

Now I was at the feet of the biggest cunt I’ve ever met after embarrassing myself by falling back in a chair like a high schooler. Just like in high school. Staring down at me like I was a peasant was the almighty– hella tall too– Ghost. Or Simon Riley as I’ve learned to my own dismay. I quickly got up from my place on the floor to see John barely holding it together, stifling his laughter while his face flushed red. I swear, he was about to start banging on the damn table too.

I rolled my eyes at John and held all the embarrassment I had building in my chest, pushing in my chair and pushing past Ghost. “I’m gettin’ brekkie. N’ I ain’ savin’ you a bite either, Jonathan.”

He shut his trap real quick after I used his full name and shut the door on my way out. Then I went back to the barracks real quick to grab Axel– assuming he was even awake by now. Sometimes that dog will sleep well into the morning if I let him. Gotta love him.

After I grabbed him and was making my way to the mess hall with him by my side, Ghost was watching me in the shadows again. Intimidation, hm? Might work for rookies but not me. I might make him give me 50 push-ups just for trying, pull rank on him for all I care. But oh well, I was eventually distracted by the special banana nut muffins they laid out for us under a heat lamp. I grabbed one, some fluffy eggs, and a mug of coffee before going and sitting at a table in the corner. Of course with a plate of eggs and raw meat, they graciously provided for Axel with me, watching him tear that food up.

But my peaceful eating was disturbed. By Ghost, again. Of all things. He had the gall to grab a mug of coffee, a banana nut muffin, and a random newspaper (that I didn’t even know we had access to) just to sit in front of me at my table.

Well, I’m not giving him a response. Instead, I just finished my food and waited on Axel, giving him little scratches on the top of his head. Then we wash up, Ghost washing up right after we leave, and then we go on a run around the perimeter of the base. ★★★

Was he really fucking stalking me now? I’m running around the base and he’s about 3 meters away, so I fall back a bit within earshot of him while he was acting oblivious that he was following me. “Aye, L.t. You keep followin’ me n’ I might hafta assume you have a crush on your new captain!” I shouted out.

“I'm shadowen you, Captain Verdano.” Oh. This was definitely John’s doing.

I roll my eyes and fall back further, Axel at my side while we jogged. “Well, I dismiss you from shadowen me. Y’know he only wants you to shadow so we can bond. ‘N even then, it ain’ gonna work all that well.”

The tension between us was palpable as we jogged, both of us barely breaking a sweat with our heads forward.

“Any stories ‘bout your time as captain?” Ghost finally asked, somewhat breaking the stupid tension between us and making me breathe a sigh of relief.

I had to think… hm. I got one.

“Mission in Siberia. We were workin’ with a PMC called Kortac. My squad n’ these few contractors were penetratin’ this base ‘n attaching explosives all around it to just wipe it all off. This one massive hulkin’ mass named König was helpin’ us out. He taught me a few things about how bottled-up emotions can really make someone into the deadliest weapon imaginable.” I explained, tone heavy. “We all got in pretty fast, I was usin’ the vents to my advantage to get the drop ‘n snipe them off to just help my crew out. My wife Xio was fucken shit up too! She came in from the side doors, the fastest sweeping I’ve seen, thas beau o’ a lady. Her callsigns Treat, ‘n we always tease her for it.”

“What happened to her? Are you two still married?”

I was so enveloped in talking about her that it felt like she was still here. As if I’d go to the barracks to see her in bed with a book. The sinking pit in my stomach got deeper and Axel prodded me again with his snout to alert me. I felt a slight panic build up again and I’m reminded. Reminded too fucking much of the nights I spent next to her in the hospital bed.

“She passed away a bit ago.” I clenched my fist, deep breathing like my therapist said, while we slowed from a jog to a walk. “This is my first squad since she passed. They got another captain f’r the last one, just so I could take a bit of a break.” Why am I being so open? Eugh.

I shake my head. “Anyhow, that’s outta the way.”

He narrows his eyes at me and I can swear he raises an eyebrow behind his balaclava. “You miss her much?”

With a light feigning smile behind my mask, I go back to stoicism as usual. “With all my life. I miss her ev’ry day I don’t see her, but I know she’d want me to continue my career. She was one helluva Lieutenant, Riley. I hope you live up to her.” I gave him a light nod before going back on my jog.

As much as I love Xio, I have to be a captain. I can cry over her when it’s appropriate but right now? I had some research to do on the boys. ★★★★★★★★★ thank you so much for reading!! and please send in some asksss! i beg of youuu! will post next chapter after some editing tomorrow <3

#call of duty #simon riley #modern warfare 2 #call of duty mwii #fanfiction #ao3 author #ao3fic #ao3 link #simon riley x oc #simon ghost riley #price mw2 #not beta read #not beta'd #requests open #writing #writing requests #creative writing #fangirl

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