#(and then Q has to Step In and get him back :3. he may be the only one who can‚ with M gone. I think when M was alive there was less of a

[halfbaked00q]

@cicerfics I actually agree with you lmao, he's suuuch an interesting study in contradictions cuz I think he both would & wouldn't be highly brainwashable.

Cuz I do think Casino Royale (book) catches him in a weak moment, and Mathis allegorical Voice of Reason sets him back on The Correct Path. And I think in the aftermath of it he's like. hardened his heart to it all and committed himself to his mission/to a new mission (hunting down SMERSH). So having had some of his cleavage points tested (rock analogy) and some of the weaker flakes flaked off. He's more durable than ever and less likely to break off along them...? tbh I'd probably have to read more of the books to see how it actually plays out lol but. theoretically!

I also have some other post about him being a Prince Rupert's drop-ass man lmao, hit him head on and he'll never break. manage to get past his armor to his soft underside/tail tho? instant implosion turned explosion.

I do kind of feel like movie (Craig) Bond is perhaps. less brainwashable this way? Like it'd have to be a brute-force brainwashing vs like a subtler cult indoctrination "before he knew it, he was someone else" route. Cuz even his thing w Vesper Makes More Sense in the movie, it's like seeded before all that at least. Whereas in the book it's like. lowkey kinda like ?? okay we're doing this now ig? cant latch onto le chiffre cuz he's dead so latches onto Vesper-lookin-ass man, okay... (also comphet. and him going "and :) my balls still work!! :)") But yeah, I think for movie Bond it'd be more likely to manifest in more like PTSD/trauma coping responses than like, true longterm ideological changes.

But for my pet premise, it's more Man w the Golden Gun style so like, get any man for long enough and amnesiac'ed enough and really I think you can make him swear to anything. There WOULD still be some fictional science stuff that you just gotta roll with involved though lol,. but like. I do think if they can get him like sleep deprived for long enough, for example, and enough time to train certain responses & asociations in him, they can at least mindfuck him temporarily. Which is kinda all they need for a short term op - they just need to wind him up long enough to point him at M, they don't need him as a longterm asset.

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo just did a Q&A for his newly announced Realm SMP!

Here are some key takeaways and highlights from it:

Tubbo emphasized that the "team" behind Realm is just himself and Tangofrags. It's a chill server so friends have a sandbox to tell stories, do lore, and have fun.

Tubbo: "I just wanna have fun with my friends, dude. I'm not trying to be the big 'bringing communities together guy'. I just wanna play with my friends. That's a lot of pressure." (57m 12s into stream)

These are the initial 25 players, but he plans to add more people in the future, and he already has 5 people in mind to add for the next event.

There is NO mod pack! Realm SMP is vanilla, it's just custom texture packs and plugins.

There are no set DND classes, but people can use their skill points to unlock certain things on skill trees and build their own classes. Realm SMP won't be 100% accurate to DND.

Tubbo hopes to have an event every week, but he reminds people to "manage their expectations" because he's only one guy – he can't do events like Purgatory because he doesn't have a massive team like Quackity had for that.

[ Continued ↓ ]

—

He has a 6 month timeframe in mind, but if the server fizzles out in a month, then it fizzles out in a month. Realm SMP will last as long as people play it!

There's no plans for an in-game translator because it's expensive and also Tubbo "doesn't want to step on Quackity's toes" :(

Lore is dependent on what the people on the server do, he likes more freestyle flowing RP.

There IS a life system! Players have 3 lives, but it's only "semi-hardcore" because other players can craft an item to bring people back at 1 life. When a player dies, their stats are set to 0 and they go into spectator-mode. When they're revived, they are brought back at 1 life with all their stats back.

The Nether IS enabled, but the End isn't enabled yet because Tubbo wants to make a cool custom boss fight.

There's no big team behind the server, it's just Tubbo and Tango helping him with some things he might not understand (however, he has a team he wants to use for the New Year Event he has in mind). He may look into getting some admins to help enforce rules.

Tubbo says he's happy to do anything himself, but if people really want to be an admin, it'd be voluntary like a Twitch mod kind of deal. (He already has a team of people he goes to for admin stuff, it wouldn't be random people being admins). However, he says if his merch does well, maybe he can get 1 or 2 people to help.

Tubbo says he's been overwhelmed by the amount of support it's received so far, but he's a bit nervous too.

He says the Realm SMP concept came to him in a dream.

Realm SMP will have proximity chat.

Events won’t be all PVP-based because he wants people to enjoy the events even if they aren’t a huge Minecraft player.

The only two banned items are mending books and elytra, which will be tied to future events (elytra can be won in one event).

An hour before the server launches on December 5, he'll be showing off more features.

Please note that many details will likely change / be clarified / updated by Tubbo at a later date!

Check out this post for the rest of his Q&A and more details.

[doonalli]

Mai and Humanity in Autonomy (Mai Character Analysis)

I think Mai Tsurugi is a character who has a lot to her and while I know she is talked about a bit I think she should be talked about more because she is a truly fantastic character and I hope this post gets you to start thinking about how and why!!

To understand Mai’s character I think it's important to talk about a major theme in 3-1. Obviously at its core Chapter 3 Part 1 is about what makes something human, and its shown through each of the dummies, each encompassing a different aspect of humanity, and for Mai this is the humanity of being able to make your own choices.

And this is made extremely clear during one major point in 3-1 where Ranmaru gives a speech about how humanity is about making your own choices after Keiji gets locked in a coffin. 

And throughout the chapter Mai ends up emboding everything that Ranmaru and this scene is trying to say.

In this speech Ranmaru states that being human is about making your own choices, something that's a constant struggle for Mai’s character, but also something she ends up learning throughout the chapter and finally proving her humanity through it.

and Mai is the one who by far encapsulates this the most throughout 3-1, ironic considering how she is also the only one who didn’t get to hear the speech on account of being unconscious.

When we first meet Mai it’s as a doll during the Murderer Game, the subgame in which the survivors must kill Midori in order to proceed however the dolls instead have a different objective. As a doll Mai is told she must kill her partner (in this case being Q-taro) if she wants to survive. Here she starts off as someone unable to make her own choices and that's shown off almost immediately when Mai ends up being the first doll to play into Midori's hands and try to kill their partner, it's a choice that was set up for her, not something she chose herself but rather it's just her playing along with Midori's puppet show. However, after she wakes from being knocked out by Qtaro we see the first signs of her breaking from that.

When she wakes up, we see the aftermath of her choice from her perspective, and she regrets it, not from a regret of her betrayal but because of her failure.

If Sara tells her “you’re awake…” she’ll say

Its only when Qtaro decides to forgive that she finally regrets her actions

And Qtaro tells her that this doesn’t mean anything, as he claims he would have done the same, and the only thing that stopped him was that he was never given the opportunity. The only thing stopping him was the lack of a choice in the matter, mirroring how the only thing pushing Mai is the looming threat that if she doesn’t kill she dies. Both given only having one real choice presented to them. 

Q-taro even said as much right after Mai stabbed him.

Q-taro calls out the lack of choice the dummies have in the matter, and makes it clear that its Midori who has control over them. Forcing them to play along with his puppet show.

Once Mai is awake it's from this point forward where we see more of who she really is, rather than the cutesy persona she put on before, and that's shown through her actions. 

As a first step towards reconciliation Mai steps up to take Qtaro off Yabusame’s hands and let him lean on her instead. (and if Anzu died Gin will tell Mai that they can take turns if she gets tired, to which she thanks Gin)

The next scene I want to talk about is when Hinako asks the dummies how they plan on surviving with both the humans and the dummies intact. If Anzu and Hayasaka both died earlier Mai will step up to fight back against Hinako and Kurumada’s reluctance.

Rather than speaking from a reluctance to kill such kind people like Anzu or Hayasaka, she argues from experience. She can’t say she couldn’t kill them, but she still doesn’t want her allies to feel the same feeling she did, even if she would have to stop them herself

Finally when Maple starts going on a rampage she decides to risk her life to stay behind and protect Qtaro. Interestingly she also is required to beat the Maple fight as she is the one who reads Maple’s instruction manual and figures out what must be done, which leads into the connection Mai and Maple have in their arcs.

Speaking of, during Keiji’s POV section, Mai and Qtaro hide in the coffins to get away from Maple until they’re unlocked and they are able to save Keiji. Qtaro gets the idea to shut off the elevators to stop Maple from being able to get to the 5th floor after the others. Maple then stumbles in and collapses, starting another scene which highlights the connection Mai and Maple have.

And she explains that her goal as an obstructor was to kill Midori, however there was something that stood in the way of that.

Maple regrets the terrible things she did to everyone but Mai tells her it's because the cast took the ID card from her. Maple tells her that it was because she was programmed into loving Midori, that even this love wasn’t her choice and ultimately relegates her to a “gimmick”, robbing her of her autonomy, a similar situation as to what happened with Mai. During the Murderer game Mai alongside the rest of the dummies are reduced to gimmicks, to the point that unlocking the first level of “gimmick security” lets you see information on the dummies and their collars,

and unlocking the second level causes the victim videos of the dummies to play, ending with a video of what happened as they woke up. Its clear that, to Midori and Asunaro at least, the dummies are simply gimmicks for the Murderer Game.

And this is shown again when Maple explains the true meaning of the “Murderer game”, and how they were pushed into thinking that killing the survivors was their only choice, despite that not being the case.

However Mai doubts it at first, saying

She wonders if Asunaro would even charge them if their battery runs out, she then insists Asunaro was planning on disposing of them from the start, and that they were just watching them struggle helplessly.

Until Qtaro speaks up to make a promise to Mai,

Through the Banquet and Qtaro’s promise a new path opens up, one paved through the bonds between the humans and the dolls. A new choice was created, a choice they made themselves, separate from the “the human lives or the doll lives” dichotomy they were fed before. And with Mai’s help, alongside Qtaro and Keiji, this choice became an actual possibility. 

Once Keiji leaves to charge the Midori doll’s head Mai and Qtaro stay behind and they end up enacting their own plan to help everyone during the banquet. Qtaro lays down in Keiji’s coffin, taking his death into his own hands, in a way alleviating the blame from Mai for her actions, and opening up a new possibility for the dummies with the banquet. Mai still cries out that it's her fault. However the death now has a purpose, has a reason past Mai’s mistake, and it changes the death from one done by a lack of choice, to one that opens up new choices from a lot more people.

From here Mai is alone, with Keiji on the 5th floor and Qtaro gone, she is the only one who is left that knows about the plan, and the only one at all who knows about Qtaro. From here she walks her own path, obtains the ID card from Sara and starts to boot up the Qtaro AI into the doll. Soon an announcement from “Keiji” calling for Sara occurs and Mai tries to push everyone to go with her, likely to make sure Keiji isn’t spotted on the way down, but Sara charges on alone regardless, leaving Mai alongside the rest of the others, and with no Keiji in sight.

She then later meets up with Sara alongside the others and a new Q-taro doll in the classroom after Sara awakens from being stunned.

Very quickly I want to call attention to a scene in the Logic route after Ranmaru kills Yabusame.

After Ranmaru claims that this is the only way left to save Sara, Hinako calls him out on wanting to save himself, causing him to retaliate by asking when she decided to side with them. Hinako, shocked, doesn't manage to reply, but Mai steps in to tell Ranmaru that no one would side with him.

In a way Ranmaru in the Logic Route is the exact opposite of what Mai is striving for. Just the same as her, he killed someone to survive, and while she wouldn’t know that Ranmaru was pushed into this choice by Sara’s words, similar to what Midori did to Mai, there is a large difference in the fact that Ranmaru’s goal includes killing everyone to save himself and Sara but even past that he revels in what he did as the right choice, mirroring Mai’s almost immediate regret at her actions. Even the way she specifically kills her partner while Ranmaru's goal is to kill everyone EXCEPT his partner adds to this.

Right afterwards the fight against Maple 2.0 happens, and there are a couple moments I want to discuss on how they pertain to this theme of making your own choices shared between the two. Firstly, Maple’s first attack.

But, despite her own thoughts…

Here Maple is stuck following orders, and Mai understands that, she tries to tell her to be strong. However this doesn’t end up working out and Maple throws her first attack of the fight, regardless of what she truly thinks.

Next, Mai’s early death.

Mai ends up dying due to Maple’s lack of autonomy in her own actions, and Midori mocks her in that, asking her “You fine with that Maple…?” despite knowing he has her wrapped around his finger. The way Mai dies is in a way she personally could relate to, and relates to her final apology to Q-taro.

In both examples Maple is trapped by her programming in the same way Mai was trapped by the knowledge that she must kill to survive, but Maple shows something important with her final moments.

As she is about to die she breaks from Midori’s control on her and uses this chance to die alongside him, thanking everyone and saying she has “finally woken up” if Mai lived or denying Midori’s reward if she died instead. 

When she finally catches up to him Midori in a last ditch effort tells Maple that he loves her, trying to abuse the programming placed into her, and Sara has 3 possible responses she can give. “He’s lying” and “Hurry up and finish him” both leading him to restate the sentiment that he loves her, but this time Maple isn’t led astray and affirms that she won’t believe him. And if Sara says “Don’t kill him” she continues to lead her own decision stating that she will herself.

However despite this her body fails and she isn’t able to kill him. In the Logic Route, if Ranmaru is still alive, this is specifically caused by Ranmaru shocking her with his stun gun finger, adding another layer to my earlier point on how he is the opposite of Mai with him denying Maple’s own final action. Notably Mai sits down next to Maple’s corpse during the pre-banquet.

Despite this However Maple’s attack showed us cracks in Midori’s facade, cracks that will eventually break him. Maple’s actions here are the first step to breaking Midori and truly winning.

And this is shown in full force during the banquet with Mai’s decision, but before that I want to talk about a scene that occurs beforehand.

When the possibility of a human being a part of the dummies is brought into question, the realisation that Mai isn’t the exact same as her doll comes to light. Eventually this leads to the horrible truth that Mai’s hands aren’t actually her hands at all, but rather Midori’s human hands. In a way this is the physical manifestation that Mai’s actions weren’t by her own hands, but rather she was a tool for Midori, playing along with his puppet show. (and yet another mirror to Ranmaru who also had a scene focusing on his hands earlier in the chapter.)

Upon this reveal Mai swears she’ll kill Midori, something missing from Qtaro’s words if she died, instead his resolve is shaken, wondering if they’ll even be able to beat a guy like him. And this leads to the epitome of her arc, the third hint.

When Sara is forced to pick a red coffin she is afraid to make the choice in fear that her logic isn’t even correct. This is where Mai steps in to tell her to pick a red coffin so she can win.

Mai encompasses Ranmaru’s words from the start of the chapter, no longer too scared to die that she can’t even resist Midori’s hold on her, but proving her humanity by taking her life into her own hands to stand up against Midori, to claim her autonomy, because that's what separates a human from a tool. She quite literally made her own choice with the Banquet, allowing both the humans and the dolls an opportunity to make it through together, a possibility opened through the bonds between the humans and dolls, Qtaro and Mai being at the forefront of that.

Now Mai is willingly telling Sara to choose a coffin, even if its at the cost of her life. She isn’t going to allow Midori control over anyone again. The Mai we see before us here is so different from the at the start of the chapter, one who was too afraid to fight back and make and descision for herself. And even as far back as her victim video where she couldn’t even make a choice between which gun she needs to pick,and died as a result of her panicked state, where she shot the wrong gun. The through line of guns being present in both scenarios also adds to this aspect.

Mai proves humanity through actions, because being human means being able to make your own choices, something both Mai and Maple struggled with at first, but also something they ended up demonstrating over the chapter. They proved their humanity by not letting their actions be decided by another, to not be treated like a tool. Because being human means being able to have autonomy in your actions and Mai proved without a doubt that she is human, despite the physical aspect of being a doll. Because while a doll can’t move, talk or feel without someone forcing it, it's nothing but expected for a human.

==================================================================================================

WOOO MAI ANALYSIS DONE!!! only one dummie left!!! hopefully soon???

Also kinda a Maple analysis by mistake LOL hopefully that's okay lmao, the characters are majorly linked to each other so it didn't feel right to just omit her

But yeah hopefully you enjoyed this and it got you to think about Mai and Maple a bit more as characters, if you liked this and its the first one you've seen then I've got more analyses like these on my blog

and of course its not lost on me the fact that its the 2 women dolls that have an arc about their autonomy, and I love how it falls into YTTD's themes of gendered power as a whole

And as of the day I'm releasing this HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 3-1B!!! The best chapter! I hope this counts as a good enough anniversary post lol, the dummies are a major part of 3-1 after all! I'm happy to give more 3-1 content to the world!

As for now though, I hope you enjoyed and see you next time for my Hinako analysis!!!

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!

I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D

We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.

Warning: long post 😊😅

This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe

Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3

Peem: *bombastic side eye*

Also Peem: *leans into him*

Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼

Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.

Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊

Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭

If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭

Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)

Toey with his P'Q:

However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼

IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T

Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE

Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?

*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay

The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer

Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭

What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as a football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).

With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)

^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼

This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.

I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.

This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.

I love them. So much.

Beer is me, I am Beer.

Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼

This scene was also so beautiful.

They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.

I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.

Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.

I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.

Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.

It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.

Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀

Simp. (affectionate)

I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe

Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭

"You were born in Thailand."

Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭

wait.

A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??

Colour me surprised!

I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol

So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea 🧋

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about The Rebound ep 3 & 4 :

Wow so many things happened in these episodes. I don’t know where to start. I have to admit this series is really getting more interesting for me. I’m glad I tried it even if I wasn’t super hyped about it. I like when I try somethings that doesn’t seem to be for me and the series proves me I was right to give it a chance. That would be great if the series continues to surprises me this way.

▪️ So Ruy decided he would no longer participate in street basketball and instead he joined the school team and went back to school. Of course, he needs no introduction because people already considers him as trouble, especially on the team. However, he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t need people to approve him to do what he wants to do. When the rest of team members didn’t helped Jedi because they didn’t want the team to be suspended, Ruy didn’t hesitate to step in. It was a bit disappointed some members were so hostile to him just because he used to play street basketball and they imagined the worst of him. I get why Ruy got frustrated to be treated differently just because of his “past”.

▪️ On the other hand, I think Zee feels a bit lost. He is still driven by his desire to make his team succeeded and he takes to heart his role as the team captain. You can see how basketball is important to him. At the same time, while being a high school student (I still have trouble accepting this reality. I believe they should have put all of them in uni because they don’t look like highschoolers at all) he also has to work and take care of his grand-mother. It must be difficult to navigate all of these. I still believes he is trying his best, but sometimes it’s too much. Despite all of these, I’m amazed by his resilience.

▪️ To be honest, I’m more drawn to the relationship between some characters than the characters in their individuality. I’m going to try to explain what I mean. By themselves, the characters are interesting but what makes the series stand out is the link between some of them and how it affects the plot. I have few in mind and I will describe why I like them.

▪️ First of all, there are Zee and Ruy. We’ve learned they were childhood friends who used to play basketball together in the same team when they were in middle school. They were really close, but then something happened and they lost contact. They met again while being in high school. You can see that they switch easily back to the time when they were close. At one point, Ruy was chilling on the roof and Zee played invisible basketball again with him, just like when they were children. You could see how fast they went back to play together like nothing happen and then, they were this moment of wavering and they got shy. It was like they remember they weren’t as close as before and also there is something is going on... There is this little tension between them when they are only together. There were some interrupted moments when I thought they would kiss each other… and then nothing. Two characters made us known Ruy has feeling for Zee: Atom noticed it when Ruy came to Zee’s house, and Q also questioned him about it. What about Zee?

▪️ Speaking of Q and Zee. Their relationship is so ambiguous. With one flashback we learned that Q kind of saved Zee and since then they have this strong brothers’ relationship. Q seems to care a lot about Zee, but sometimes you wonder if there isn’t more. I feel we didn’t get enough from Zee to be sure. I think it’s because Q seems to be more expressive than Zee about his feelings. I don’t know, I may be wrong. I hope we’ll learn more about them. To be honest, I feel like Q has really ambiguous relationship with everyone he is close with. I mean his relationship with the gangster (can’t remember his name properly) isn’t properly clear. In the first two episodes, I felt like they had something going on before, but Q was injured and couldn’t play as before, so he became less interesting to the gangster and now their relationship isn’t the same. Maybe I’m just imagining things.

▪️ Atom started to be the character I’m wary about. At first, I was really happy I’ve found one character played by Frank that I like. However, I feel like he is trying too hard and it’s getting unconformable. When he was eating with Zee, he was always making requests Zee couldn’t really reject. You could feel how uneasy was Zee. Even if he accepted all of his requests, you could see on his face that he considered not agreeing with them at first, but then changed his mind. I also feel weird about how Atom is trying so hard to get into Zee’s life. He was at his home, he wants to see Zee outside and he is always making sure Zee can’t really reject what he is offering. He is too nice to be true. It could just be me who is too mistrustful, but I feel like Atom is hiding something.

▪️ I’m also really interested about what is going on between Prince and the other team member Jed. Give me more about them, because I like it.

Of course, many other things happened but those are the ones which I wanted to talk about (I didn’t talk about Zee kidnapping or Ruy threatening Jedi’s bullies with a lighter in a high school!!). I’m really excited about the upcoming episodes and I can’t wait to watch them.

[starsaver94]

May i request Nagito fluff alphabet plz? :3

Of course!

Nagito SFW Alphabet

A = Admiration (what do they admire about their s/o?)

Almost everything. Due to his low self-esteem, Nagito is the type of person to practically worship his s/o and admire nearly everything about them.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Hands. Nagito loves to feel your hand holding his, even with his one artificial arm. And he'll often rub gentle circles on your skin or trace the lines on your palms.

C = Cuddles (how they like to cuddle)

Two words: touch starved. Once you start cuddling him, he will cling to you like a koala (a very tall and lanky koala). Due to his height, he is often the big spoon when you two cuddle, though he prefers to be the little spoon.

D = Dates (what is their ideal date with you?)

He prefers to have simple dates rather than big and adventurous ones. Indoor or at home dates are his favorites due to not being a fan of noisy places, though he won't mind going to a small cafe or a park.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotions around you?)

It can be hard to figure out what Nagito is truly feeling. Early on in your relationship, he would often hide any of his negative emotions (mainly due to his trauma). But later on, he's more willing to show feelings of sadness, but it still takes some coaxing for him to tell you how he feels.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Yes, eventually, but he's nervous. Though, he already does have some experience with kids due to being the caretaker/servant to the Warriors of Hope.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He prefers to be a gift giver rather than a gift receiver. But, if you do give him a gift, then it'll make his day!

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they hold hands?)

Nagito loves to hold your hand and does so in the most gentle and tender manner. Lightly gripping it and interlocking your fingers together, occasionally running his thumb across your knuckles.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Oh boy, he'll immediately go into self-blame if you get hurt while he's nearby. Poor guy will think that it was because of his luck that you got hurt. Even if you reassure him, he'll still feel a bit guilty about it.

But he'll also do whatever you need if you get hurt. Anything you need to feel better, he'll get it for you.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Honestly, Nagito doesn't really have a sense of humor. He'll laugh at your jokes, but he can't tell a joke to save his life.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

He gives very sweet and soft kisses. His favorite places to kiss are your cheek, hands, and lips. Though sometimes he can get a bit steamy when kissing your lips.

L = Love (how do they show you that they love you?)

Through words of affirmation and praise. Nagito will use the most flowery words to describe you, but unfortunately, that also comes with him talking himself down as a result (so be sure to reassure and give him positive words in return)

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

It's hard for him to pick a favorite, but if he had to choose, it would be the first time you defended him. He was so used to people calling him creepy or weird and nobody calling them off, so it was a pleasant surprise when you stepped in and told his classmates to back off.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

You accidently getting hurt or worst because of his luck. Nagito has already lost people close to him due to the negative half of his luck, and he worries that something may bad happen to you as well.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Outside of his other quirks, Nagito will often drum his fingers. Not because he gets bored easily, he just likes the sound that it makes on different surfaces.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Dove, lucky charm, angel, love, and dear.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Nagito likes moments where the two of you just relax and enjoy each other's presence. Cuddling and wrapped up in a warm blanket, a few snacks nearby and maybe a show or movie playing in the background.

R = Rhythm (what song describes your relationship?)

Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson. He often feared that you would want nothing to do with him after seeing him during one of his hope rants or after learning that he was a former Remnant of Despair, though he now knows that you'll stick by him no matter what.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He's pretty open, but he still has some things that he's rather secretive about.

T = Time (how long did it take for you two to get together?)

About 6-7 months, it took him a while to truly confess his feelings to you (though there was a lot of pining in the meantime).

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He keeps a calm front, but he's pretty anxious on the inside. He wants to help you feel better, but is worried about possibly making things worse.

V = Vault (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Sadly, Nagito doesn't have much that he's truly proud of, except for the fact that he's dating you. He doesn't really show you off, though he does talk about you a lot with his classmates (whether they want to hear or not).

W = Wild Card (random fluff headcanon.)

He loves it when you play with his hair! Helps that it's pleasant to touch as well (It's soft, but also a bit tangled)

X = X-ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Pretty well, though he still has trouble picking up on certain social cues.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

He would have a hard time figuring out the perfect way to propose, so he would ask his former classmates for help. After multiple different options, he eventually just takes Hajime's advice and decides to ask you without any sort of gimmick or theatrics.

Z = Zebra (what kind of pet would they get?)

Probably a Great Pyrenees. He had one as a kid and had grown a fondness for them because of that (though he also feels sad cause of what happened to that same childhood dog).

[daedalusdavinci]

2023 Tumblr Top Ten

1. 139 notes - Aug 20 2023

2. 82 notes - May 6 2023

MY Davekat Fic Recs

3. 78 notes - May 6 2023

Superbat Fic Recs

4. 55 notes - May 10 2023

Q: 42. Foolish - twobats

Bruce awoke with panic flaring in his chest. There had been a hand on his shoulder. Alfred and the kids knew better than that, and so instinct took over, grabbing the offending arm and yanking. Before he was even fully awake, Bruce had rolled and pinned a man underneath him, an arm drawn back to knock him out. “Wait, wait, wait, Bruce-" Bruce blinked hard, and in the darkness, the details of the figure started to come together. Harvey- or was it Two Face? had one hand pinned above his head, the other raised defensively. "Some way to treat your bedfellows." "Dent,” Bruce breathed, letting his hand fall. He gripped his collar instead, rolling his fist into the fabric. “Why are you here?”

5. 54 notes - Feb 6 2023

Q: 7 couldn't you wait to kiss me at home with bruharv perhaps

He was old, now. Gray confused the line between white hair and dark brown, swept back and fussed with the way Harvey preferred. The skin grafts made his wrinkles look deeper on the left side of his face, clustered across his forehead and around the corners of his mouth. His glasses were sharp and square, perfectly distinguished, and his suit was a loud white and black, paired with a purple turtleneck that fit him nicely. He looked as beautiful as the day Bruce had met him, but settled into himself, finally finding balance as the years turned. Confidence looked dangerously attractive on him, but his smile was as golden warm as ever. “Harvey,” Bruce greeted, reaching for his cane to rise and meet him. “Oh, sit down, Bruce.” Harvey pushed a cup of coffee into his hand, gently forcing him back into his seat. He stooped to press a kiss against his cheek, the tilt of a smile warm against Bruce’s skin. “I just wanted to make sure you got it before it went cold. You’re running over time.”

7. 40 notes - Feb 15 2023

Q: Meaningful gestures 30. "Wow, you really did your research, huh? That's amazing..." is eating my brain because of college!Bruharvey. Like, this doesn’t have to be a prompt but just picture Harv/2-F’s reaction to seeing Bruce do research just to help them. (I can’t decide what would be better, Harv or 2-F fronting in the moment they find out.)

The stack of books on Bruce’s desk feels like an impossible tower, its shadow looming over Harvey the way his father used to during those late nights, clothes disheveled and beer still in hand. Except, it’s not like that at all. It’s huge and overwhelming, terrifying in its size, but its scary because of what it represents- not what it might do. The hit comes before Harvey ever knows he has to brace for it, finding an unguarded place in his ribs and striking straight through to his heart. The air leaves his lungs. His steps stagger. His hands feel shaky and his knees are untrustworthy, at risk of giving out beneath him at any minute. They’re just books. They’re just books. It’s what Bruce does. He inhales knowledge like his life depends on it, drawn to every bit of esoterica he can get his hands on. It shouldn’t matter. But it does.

8. 40 notes - Feb 7 2023

Q: 10) I have never been this sick before I'm sorry did I, haha this is so weird, but did I confess my love for you? f- four times? yeah? haha oh, superbats

Alfred said it was the flu. Not Ivy’s newest batch of toxin, or Tetch’s mind control, or the lasting effects of a JLA fight gone wrong, or even a stomach bug from eating Tim’s latest feeble attempt at cooking while desperately trying to practice to impress his boyfriend. It was just the plain old flu. And Bruce had never felt worse. Alfred said it probably wouldn’t have been half as bad if he hadn’t gone out to patrol in the snow, multiple times, even after being warned not to. Damian said it probably wouldn’t have been half as bad if he hadn’t insisted on testing those antitoxins on himself recently. Jason said he’d slipped a viral strand of zombie DNA into his coffee grounds the last time he swung by, and it was only after Cass pointed out the coffee grounds also would’ve poisoned half the house that he realized Jason was most certainly just fucking with him. Duke said he should probably run the tests just in case, because the freezing batcave would certainly do him a lot of good, and somehow that entirely reasonable suggestion just wound up making Alfred more frustrated than ever. And then Alfred did the unthinkable. He called in the cavalry.

9. 39 notes - May 6 2023

My Riddlebat Recs

10. 39 notes - Jan 12 2023

Snow Day

Ships: Matches Malone/Harvey Dent

AU: Harvey Dent adopts Jason Todd

Word Count: 5,537

Summary:

On cold days, particularly after long nights, there are few things better than a good, long sleep. Especially if that sleep is accompanied by a henchman who’s so much more, and a squirmy teen still freezing from the snow he didn’t dress for, despite Harvey’s warnings.

Created by TumblrTop10

[forevertheirs]

Absolutely! Here’s a fun, heartfelt crossover story bringing Doctor Who, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Freddie Mercury into one fantastic, timey-wimey adventure:

⸻

Title: “Bohemian Temporal Rhapsody”

Scene 1: A Temporal Mishap

The TARDIS shakes violently in the vortex.

The Doctor (13th, wearing her rainbow shirt and excited grin):

“Ohhh, I meant to land at the Live Aid concert, 1985! Not… whatever this is.”

Suddenly, the TARDIS door bursts open—revealing the bridge of the USS Enterprise-D. The crew freezes.

Picard (rising from his chair):

“Mr. Worf. Intruder alert.”

Freddie Mercury (stepping out, holding a mic stand):

“Where the bloody hell am I? Is this part of the show?”

The Doctor (popping her head out):

“Oops. Wrong dimension. Hello! I’m The Doctor. This is Freddie. He’s with me. Sort of.”

Data (tilting his head):

“I do not believe you are scheduled personnel.”

Freddie (grinning):

“I’m Freddie Mercury, darling. And you—you’re golden and beautiful. What are you?”

Data (calmly):

“I am an android, programmed with a neural net capable of—”

Freddie:

“Fascinating. Got any music on this ship?”

⸻

Scene 2: Data and Freddie Bond

In Data’s quarters, Spot jumps onto Freddie’s lap.

Freddie:

“Hello, gorgeous! You like music, kitty? I used to sing to my cats too.”

Data:

“Spot responds positively to melodic frequencies. I often recite poetry, though my singing has received… mixed feedback.”

Freddie (laughing):

“Let’s fix that. Everyone can sing, Data. Even androids. Especially androids. Let me show you.”

Data (eagerly):

“Yes, please.”

Freddie starts softly playing an acoustic version of “These Are the Days of Our Lives.” Data watches, entranced. Spot purrs.

Freddie:

“You know, Data… you’ve got more soul than most humans I’ve met.”

Data:

“I do not possess a soul in the traditional sense. However, I aspire to understand the human condition. May I accompany you?”

Freddie smiles and hands him a small percussion instrument.

⸻

Scene 3: Picard Annoyed, Q Appears

Picard:

“Doctor, I don’t appreciate temporal disruptions on my ship. Your passenger is causing musical chaos in Ten Forward.”

The Doctor (cheerfully):

“Oh, come on, Jean-Luc. A little chaos is good for the soul. You do have one, I presume?”

Before Picard can answer, Q materializes in a flash.

Q:

“Mon Capitaine! Hosting 20th-century rock legends and time-traveling eccentrics now? I am impressed.”

Picard (sighs):

“Q, not now.”

Q (eyeing The Doctor):

“Well, well. Another meddler in time and space? But you’re not from this universe. How… deliciously illegal.”

The Doctor:

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Q-tip.”

Q:

“I challenge you, Time Lord. Solve my paradox before the ship is swallowed by a collapsing quantum singularity. Or… say goodbye to your musical mascot.”

⸻

Scene 4: The Doctor Outsmarts Q

The Doctor pulls out her sonic screwdriver and links it to the Enterprise’s sensors.

The Doctor:

“Q’s paradox relies on inverted causality—future events creating past instability. But if we stabilize the chronoton field and reverse the entropy vector—”

Q (mocking):

“Technobabble. Really?”

The Doctor (grinning):

“I learned it from watching Starfleet.”

She slams a button. The ship steadies.

The Doctor:

“Problem solved. Paradox neutralized. You’re welcome.”

Q (pouting):

“You’re no fun.”

With a snap, Q vanishes.

⸻

Scene 5: A Farewell

Freddie, sitting with Data and Spot, strums a final chord.

Freddie:

“I suppose it’s time for me to go back to my own timeline. Wouldn’t want to cause a cosmic scandal.”

Data:

“I will miss your presence, Freddie Mercury.”

Freddie (kissing Data on the cheek):

“Don’t stop learning, darling. You’re closer to humanity than most humans. And take care of that cat.”

⸻

Epilogue:

As the TARDIS dematerializes, Picard turns to The Doctor.

Picard:

“You are… unusual.”

The Doctor (winking):

“So are you, Jean-Luc.”

Picard sighs, then faintly smiles.

Picard:

“Computer—play Queen. Volume: moderate.”

“Don’t Stop Me Now” begins echoing through the corridors of the Enterprise-D.

⸻

Would you like me to turn this into a script-style version with dialogue and scene directions?

Not sure AI really tried on this one 🤣

[woltourney]

ROUND 3 / SIDE B / POLL 3

Stelak Ganzthuv (@drtanner) v. Lopu Rhaavuna (@mages-ballad)

Stelak Ganzthuv:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Stelak Ganzthuv (he/him)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Roegadyn

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Gunbreaker, Bard

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Crystal/Malboro! Come say hi!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Stelak is an amnesiac and can't remember anything about who he was before he arrived in Gridania. He woke up in the back that cart with nothing but a name, the clothes on his back and a robust set of instincts and principles, and while he has no memory of his life before then - if, indeed, he existed at all - he knows he's a whore. That's his literal job, he's a sex worker, he knows how to do that and he's very good at it. He's also picked up playing music suspiciously quickly, so there's a decent chance he might have been a bard previously, too. To Stelak's knowledge, Hydaelyn pretty much just plucked him out of the aether, or from wherever, to be Her hero, and Stelak is a little reluctant in his role but he's keenly aware that he has little choice in the matter; everything will go to shit in a big hurry if he doesn't step up when people need him to step up, and as much as he'd rather be doing other things and really doesn't enjoy the recognition or fame he gets for being the WoL, there's precious little to be done about it. He's doing his best, lmao.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "I'm gonna be honest with you, darlin'. I don't mind, I'm just here for a laugh." Stelak pauses, glancing away for a moment, considering. "… Sayin' that, though. Please. I'm very tired." His brow knots as he gives a weary smile. "It would be very nice to get a little appreciation for once."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. Stelak is available for hire. Just sayin'. 💜

Lopu Rhaavuna:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Lopu Rhaavuna, she/her

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. IC-ly her primary jobs are Bard and Dancer. Secondary to that, Sage and Reaper. (Note from submitter: CUL and BOT)

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Mateus [Crystal]

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I took inspiration for Lopu's character and story from the mahou shoujo genre, with the core elements being that a seemingly-average girl discovers she actually has the capability for magical powers, and uses those to help spread hope and save others. Love is a major theme for Lopu, and its what gives her the strength and motivation to do what she does. Lopu grew up in Gridania, where she left and became the Warrior of Light at age 25. She's always had a deep feeling of wanderlust within her, and the events of the MSQ are what kickstart her into being able to get out and see the world. She's lived her life knowing there had to eventually be more out there for her, and her assumptions are proven right as she takes up the title of the WoL and makes herself known. She's no doubt had her ups and downs, but never once has she regret her journey. Others may call her a hero; but even after all this time she still considers herself just an adventurer that likes to help people. In her free time, Lopu has a few hobbies she likes to indulge in! She's very big on cooking and sharing the food she makes, gardening and growing her own ingredients, hunting, training, running Treasure Maps, and of course hanging out with the Scions. Outside of saving the universe, she's a very sweet and humble woman.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Ah? Um…" Lopu takes a lock of her thick hair to twirl around and play with while she ponders the question. "I think I should win because… It would make me really happy if I did?" She laughs a little, giving a flash of fangs. "Truthfully, I can't really think of a good reason! I guess there is the fact I saved the universe, but I wouldn't want people to feel obliged to put me on a pedestal just for that." "Maybe… If I win, I'll bake a huge celebratory cake to share with everyone! That works, right? People tend to be more motivated to vote if there's food involved, yes?"

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. AS HER CREATOR I SAY VOTE FOR LOPU BECAUSE SHE IS SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE AND SILLYGIRL-CORE AND HAS THICK THIGHS AND I LIKE HER A LOT AND ALSO IF SHE WINS I WILL ACTUALLY DO A GPOSE OF HER AND THE CAKE AND EVERYONE CAN HAVE SOME!!!!! VOTE FOR LOPU #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP

[bistaxx]

I'm still sorta catching up on everything and I have a lot of fucking thoughts... but honestly... hot take... circumstances aside this might be a good thing for them provided q!Cell is careful with what he does next ( which... idk man his mind is a whole 'nother can of worms rn-)

We can all agree that these two care a LOT about each other and they match quite well... but they definitely rushed into things during an intense time of their lives- I mean they hadn't even gone on their first date yet and were already engaged. They had just gotten out of a high adrenaline situation and were fresh off of realizing that they liked each other as more then friends and jumped to one of the furthest steps you can travel with a relationship on top of all the other shit that's going on in their lives rn. So, maybe they need this break right now before they actually do tie the knot, should that still be on the table for them.

I want them to make it work, but I also want it be healthy and for them to not just rush into things again just because they love each other... Cellbit's love for Roier, while genuine, can push him into dangerous places during this very stressful time for him- it is something that makes him happy and he does not want to let it go. He is very afraid of losing Roier and while Cellbit recognizes that Roier needs the space right won't try to pressure him to continue things I worry about this fear pushing him further into dark places while he's caught up in all of these painful emotions right now. Cellbit never ever wanted to hurt Roier ... but that fact is he still did... Right now it kinda feels like he is stuck on thinking about how he can fix things and make Roier happy when what would really make Roier happy would be taking the time to focus on helping himself recover from all the shit that's happened to prevent another incident and accidentally hurt Roier (and by extension himself) yet again. Cellbit is hot off the heels of stress after stress and we still don't know the full extent of what the federation even did to him- he loves Roier yeah and q!Cellbit has over the years made a lot of progress compared to the downright horrible person he once was, but the fact of the matter may be that Cellbit might not be in the right place for a relationship right now- especially something as serious as marriage.

And Roier, while doing the healthy and right thing with breaking things off, has already forgiven Cellbit which is a bit concerning given he literally killed his grandpa (real or not- the fact still stands he would've killed that old man)- I think he does still want to be with Cellbit, but he really needs to take the time to properly nurse the pain before going back into the heat of things- yes being with Cellbit made him happy but right now he feels very hurt and once again betrayed by someone he trusted with all his heart (and that first situation honestly didn't even happen that long ago) ... no matter how much he loves him Roier needs the time to consider if being with him is still good for him right now and if he can not only trust Cellbit again but be prepared for possibly being hurt again ( and I'm not saying that to push any of the responsibility of things going sour here off of q!Cell- he fucked up big time- I'm saying it because that's one of the hard parts of love- sometimes you will hurt your partner or get hurt by your partner even if there was no intention of hurt- and there's no shame with not being ready for that or not being able to forgive that.)

Both of them have been through a lot and I really want them to make it work but... well they gotta Make it work for things to Work, yeah :3

Wow this ended up being way longer then I intended- Basically- These two just need to slow down and take the time to sort things out- primarily with themselves rn... even if I have a nagging feeling that it may get worse before it gets better- ( because uhh,,, I mean- just- *gestures at the murderous traumatized tiny catboy* )

but uhhh I don't really wanna get my hopes up not because I don't have faith but man have I been burned badly before my track record with these things is fucking awful but like- I'm rooting for them I really am- can we have a ship that DOESN'T end tragically for once to spice things up please- can we have a wedding and mariage that DOESN'T END IN FLAMES PLEASE I 🙏

also yeh maybe I'm looking way too deep into the block game roleplay but dammit it's just so fun to do so LMAO

[primofate]

Smile for Me (Part 3) Zhongli x fem!reader

Summary: Zhongli never smiled at you the way that he smiled at his memories of Guizhong. Thinking that the only way Zhongli would ever be happy is for Guizhong to come back again, you secretly set off on a journey to bring her back to life. But it comes with a price: Your life.

Warnings: pining, angst, one-sided (at first), hurt, angst again, drama, some Guizhong x Zhongli, hints of Xiao x reader, MAY NOT FOLLOW THE ACTUAL LORE.

Read: (Part 1) (Part 2)  (Part 4)  (Part 5)  (Part 6)

Zhongli jerks awake, his head half up from the pillow. He tries to remember his dream while sitting up, the sheets that were covering his bare chest falling and pooling around his waist.

He's silent for a moment. In a place where he's half awake, trying his best to rewind his memory of the dream.

"Welcome back, would you like some tea?" he has a hard time seeing the person's face. Like a smudged oil pastel painting. Just a blur. But he chuckles in the dream, as if he was familiar with them.

"You know my preferences," he simply says as he sits at the table.

"Hard day?" he's amazed how the person always seems to know when he's had a hard day. "...Yes, it seems that someone has damaged the ballista, the traveller and I inspected it,"

"... The ballista...?"

"The Guizhong ballista,"

"Ah..."

There was a small pause. He couldn't see the other person's expression but he gets a sense of loneliness, and he doesn't quite know why. Suddenly, she speaks up again,

"When's the last time you ever did something for yourself, Zhongli?" he's surprised, it was such a mundane yet difficult question.

"... Does drinking tea with you count? I quite enjoy it," he chuckles and the companion laughs, though it seems to be a bashful one.

"I mean it though, you're always looking out for others. The people of Liyue. Xiao. The traveller. I just want you to remember yourself too," he's struck with a tender feeling of gratitude. This person looked out for him. He feels slightly uneasy, because the person didn't include themselves in the list. He asks, tone carrying a playful tune to it.

"Pardon me for asking but you didn't include yourself in the list. Do I not look out for you enough, xxxxxxx?" he stops. He tries to say your name again but is only met with silence as his mouth moves. 

It's because he doesn't know it. 

He doesn't know who he's calling.

He doesn't know who's in front of him.

He doesn’t know your name and horror strikes him, yet he doesn’t know why.

You’re still standing in front of him, unmoving. Face still blurred. Not saying anything. The silence that hangs is starting to feel uncomfortable. 

He tries again. Opens his mouth. Lips move. 

But he doesn’t know.

In the dream, his usually calm and collected self starts to panic. What was this sorcery? Why was he unable to recall anything, anything at all about this person who seemed to be a good companion to him.

“Zhongli,” his head snaps up to look at your blurred face. “Zhongli, I’ll eat dinner with you,” his head starts to pound. “I’ll wait for you to come back,” and it’s as if something in him clicks. His eyes flutter wider, and his mouth opens to say your name--

Just as he wakes up. 

The longer he stayed awake the more that the dream blurred away from his memory. He wasn’t sure anymore if he was mixing up his memory, his dream, and real life. 

He felt as if it hadn’t been the first time he’s dreamt this.

In the end, he sighs, and decides to put it off. His eyes wander over next to him, Guizhong peacefully asleep and wrapped in the covers. Her long hair splayed out, the hairpin she always wore on the bedside table. Zhongli tenderly brushes some hair away from Guizhong’s face, and smiles. 

It seems like it’d been forever since he’s done this and then... again... he’s struck with a strong sense of unease. Why did he feel like that? Guizhong had been with him this whole time, hadn’t she? 

With many thoughts flitting in and out of his head, he manages to fall asleep. 

The next day as he awakes, drinking tea while sorting out papers, there’s a knock on the door. Guizhong had gone out today so Zhongli answers. 

It was the local painter.

“Master Zhongli!” The painter was a man who looked to be in his late 40s, he was youthful looking but you could tell his age by looking at the crinkles around his eyes. “Master Zhongli, here’s the portrait you’ve ordered to be painted a few months ago,” the painter had a canvas covered in brown paper, tucked under his arm. 

The canvas wasn’t too big, it was the height of a toddler just taking their first steps, and would probably be a little heavy on the hands, but otherwise manageable. 

“...A...painting?” Zhongli says, confused. 

He doesn’t recall asking for a anything to be painted. 

The painter, seeing the confused look on Zhongli’s face, continues “You’d said it was for a 500 year anniversary of some sort, and asked for it to be delivered... On this particular day," Zhongli reels back at the words, it feels as if something has hit him square on the head.

“You’ve been serving me for 500 years, it’s an occasion to celebrate, if you ask me,” Zhongli says and you just laugh under your breath. “It’s not a big deal,” but he insists that it must be celebrated. Or at least that he had to repay you with something for the help you’ve provided and so, when he asked what you had wanted, you simply and shyly replied. “A portrait, of you and me,”

The painter tears off the brown paper and reveals the painting. A beautiful rendition of you and Zhongli. He stands next to you, at least a head taller and you stand next to him with a sort of clumsy yet endearing smile. Your shoulders touch in the painting and yet... 

“Who... is this?”

Zhongli’s eyes are glued to your face on the painting. The way your lips curve up is so familiar to him. Your hair cascading around you and the simple yet elegant blue qipao that you wore.

He’s struck with the same panic that he feels in the dream last night. “I...I don’t recall--” and then he suddenly snaps up, turning to look at the painter. “Pardon me sir. You’re the one who painted this, yes?” The painter also has an uncomfortable look on his face, but answers. “Y-Yes, that’s correct. It was... Here. In this living room,” 

“Then could you perhaps tell me...this girl’s name? Was she a guest in this house?” Perhaps it was strange to ask the painter about this, seeing as, according to the painting, you and Zhongli were supposedly close. 

“...Sir...about that, you see...I... can’t quite recall who this girl is and... I don’t think I’ve seen her around at all,” 

And that’s how Zhongli knows that something’s wrong.

That’s how he knows that he must have been missing some piece of his memory because--looking at your face in the portrait again, that smile taunting him--it would be difficult to forget a face like yours. 

That’s how he knows that the twisting feeling in his heart is because he had forgotten something and someone important. 

And where were you now? Were you alone, and lonely and lost?

Things didn’t add up, and Zhongli was a man with strong instincts.

He remembers your face, but nothing about you. He grips at the portrait as flashes of you consume his mind. Like a reel of film. Your smile. Your annoyed glare. Your patience. Your tears. Your concentration. Your pout. Your frustration. Your calmness. Your patience.

Your selflessness.

For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t sure what to do.

Suddenly the nights spent waking up and missing a part of himself made more sense.

It didn't even matter that Guizhong was next to him.

He realizes it wasn't her he was looking for.

He sends the painter off with some money, leaves the portrait on the table, and sets out to get a breath of fresh air.

He would figure something out. He had to do something about the missing gap in his mind and the gaping hole in his heart.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @kimbapsana @leefletter @hentaje @tempehlust @rinnesy @hallohun @softlybeloved @volleybloop @ssalamanderr @ben6ett @rytszk @guilixi @reiluvbot @mondstadts-favourite-traveler @xxcrowfeatherxx @b-trld @mkazuyuh @shittyeditsofwhatiwant @ayra2452008 @simpingover @soft-like-sunshine @lnrchii @scheophi @fkng_kumiko

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

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[bakuhoes-dumbass]

Aberration - Chapter 3

MHA!Various x Fem!Reader

Thriller/Horror/Drama

Criminal!AU

Words: 2.8k

A/N: Third chap, here we go! It’ll start picking up soon. I know there isn’t much ‘horror’ rn, but it will get there, I promise. Also, I’m sorry Tamaki’s part is a bit longer than Hawks. I just adore Tamaki so much and he deserves the world and lots of hugs and kithes.

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Mentions of murder, blood, felonies, bullying, swearing. More to come.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MHA, just this story. In no way does this reflect the characters, writers or VAs of the show/manga. MINORS DNI.

~~~

Aberration Masterlist

~~~

"Good afternoon Mr. Keigo, my name is Y/N and I'll-" You look up from your notes to see a half naked man with blonde hair and bright red bird wings lounging on his bed. Your jaw drops and you hold your clipboard up in front of your suddenly heated face.

Keigo looks over to you with his brows raised. "Well well, looks like we've got ourselves a new baby bird. How…" The handsome man's lips turn up into a cocky smirk.

"...interesting."

You peek over your clipboard to see his cocky smirk and hide your eyes again. "Keigo, would you please put on a shirt?"

He chuckles and wiggles his eyebrows. "What, too embarrassed to look at me, baby bird? I'll tell you what. You tell me who you are, and if you're single, and I'll cover myself."

"My name is Y/N. I'm the newest scientist in this facility, here to observe you, hoping it helps to find a cure. And there is no need for you to know my relationship status."

"Ah, ah, ah. If you don't tell me, you'll have to do this interview while gazing at my gorgeous body." You hear the cockiness in his voice.

"I swear to fu- fine, yes I'm currently happily single. Now, please put your shirt on." You mumble under your breath, "this is so inappropriate."

After a minute of rustling, Keigo leans back onto his bed. "Okay, my single baby bird. I'm all covered up for you."

You lower your clipboard just below your eyes to make sure, seeing the smirking bird man lounging on his bed with a shirt on. You finally lower your clipboard all the way before giving a curt nod. Making your way to the desk chair, you smile at the man.

"Thank you, Keigo. As I said before, my name is Y/N and I'm here to get to know you."

He snickers, "well, I'm here to answer any questions you have for me, baby bird. Fire away."

You sigh and open your notebook. "Must you call me such a name?"

"Awe, do you not like when I call you that?"

Sighing once more, you decide to just move on. You know you'll end up going in circles. "Please state your full name, age and date of birth for me."

"My name is Keigo Takami. I'm 28 years old. My birthday is December 28th." He paused to let you write that down before opening his mouth again. "Did you need my star sign and my relationship status? Well, I'm a Capricorn and I am definitely sin-"

"Nope, that's enough." You cut him off before he could ramble on even more. "Now, can you tell me what your quirk is exactly?"

Keigo blinks before turning around, the chains on his ankles clanking against the bed frame. Your eyes light up being able to actually see the giant, beautiful red bird wings coming from his back. You frowned slightly noticing they were pinned down, preventing him from being able to use them.

"Does that hurt? Having them pinned like that?" You tilt your head eyes following the edges of each feather.

Keigo lets out a quiet chuckle, eyeing you from over his shoulder. "A little. But nothing I can't handle. Why, is my baby bird worried about little ole me?"

Your frown turns into a glare and you clear your throat. "So, what exactly can you do with these wings of yours?"

Keigo's mouth twitches into a smirk as he turns back around to face you. "Well, I can fly. And I can also disconnect each feather from my wings and use them individually."

You nod, not wanting to show how impressed you were, knowing he'd make a crack at it. You finish writing down that information before asking your next question. "Now, can you tell me why you are here?"

"Getting down to the nitty-gritty, I see. Well, I was arrested and charged with Drug Trafficking, Forgery and Assault." You look at him, motioning him to continue. He shrugs. "There isn't much else to it. I'm a mafia leader. This shit happens on a daily basis, for years. Just so happened that I eventually got caught, on account of a leak in my group. Fortunately, for me, I use other people to do the killing for me. So that means they couldn't get me with murder." He cocks his head. "Unfortunately, though, trafficking and forgery are also felonies, so. That's why I'm here."

"So you spent your life moving copious amounts of drugs, forging money and assaulting clients who did you wrong?"

Keigo thinks about your words for a moment and nods. "Essentially, yes."

"Alright then." You stand up and bow your head to the mafia leader who was watching you carefully. "I will take my leave, as I have one more inmate to see before the end of my shift." You head towards the door, but pause for a moment. "Oh, and Keigo?" You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder. "Your wings are beautiful."

Keigo's eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly, watching you walk out that door. His face turns bright red after processing your words. He mutters under his breath, "oh, baby bird…"

After shutting the door behind you, you breathe out. Aizawa looks up from his phone. "How'd it go?"

You raise a brow, "what, you weren't watching me through the security cameras like before?"

"Oh, I was," he deadpanned. "But, visually, it didn't look as compromising as the last two visits. The cameras don't pick up audio."

"Well, besides the lack of clothing in the beginning and the incessant flirting, I was pleasantly surprised."

Aizawa looked at his watch. "Now, I think we have time for one more before we have to turn in paperwork and unchain the more dangerous inmates from their beds to give them some room to stretch out." Aizawa flips through the profiles before stopping on one. "How about Amajiki?"

You turn to his profile and scan the words in front of you. "A cannibal, huh. Well that's not something you see every day."

"I think he'd be good to end the day with. Despite him being, well, a cannibal, he's actually extremely reserved and quite timid. I don't think he'd try to hurt you or get close to you. He suffers from borderline personality disorder, as you see." Aizawa looks up from his notes and eyes you. "However, he is a level 10. He may come across as innocent and somewhat angelic, but remember, he is one of the most dangerous criminals in this facility. He has multiple murders under his belt. So just keep that in mind."

You nod your head, slightly bouncing with excitement. This one sounds quite interesting to you. You've never met a cannibal before and this one has a quirk that sounds intriguing. Aizawa sighs before turning away from Hawk's door and heading further down the long hallway. He stops in front of a heavy door and scans you in.

Once you step inside the white room, you furrow your brows, not really noticing anyone. That's when you hear a small whimper and a few muffled, stuttered words coming from the floor next to the bed.

"W-Who are you?"

You lean to the side to see an indigo-haired figure huddled against the wall between the desk and the bed. You notice his body is trembling, only his eyes visible through his bangs, his arms covering the rest of his face. Head tilted, you squat down from a distance and smile.

"Hi there, Amajiki. My name is Y/N. I'm the newest scientist at this facility. I'm here to talk to you and get to know you to help further our findings for a cure. I'd like to be friends, if that's possible." You reply gently. You can tell he's scared out of his mind.

He raises his head up, giving you a full view of his…

Muzzle?

"F-friends?"

Your eyes widen slightly. The bottom half of Amajiki's face, from his nose to under his chin, is completely covered by a silver muzzle. It's strapped around his head and locked in place by a padlock. Your eyes travel down to see his wrists chained together with quirk cancelling cuffs and, as you expected, both of his ankles are chained to the heavy duty bed frame.

"They have you muzzled like that?" You stare in disbelief, slightly angered at the treatment. You understand that he's a known cannibal, but to strap that heavy muzzle around his head on top of chains already weighing him down.

Amajiki nods shyly, "y-yeah. I guess it's because of the whole e-eating people… thing."

You sit yourself down on the floor across from him, your notes in your lap. "Is it uncomfortable?" He nods slowly, his eyes avoiding yours. You give him a small smile. "I'm sorry."

His eyes shoot to yours, confusion flashing through them. "Why are you sorry?"

"It...seems like a lot of you are possibly being mistreated here. I've noticed a few things here and there."

Amajiki's brows furrow. "And why should you care? W-We're criminals."

"True. However, this facility isn't supposed to be judge, jury and executioner. You're entitled to a fair trial, just like everyone else. That includes not being mistreated." Your smile never leaves your face as you look the man in the eyes. "I am not only here to research a cure, but make sure in doing so, it won't harm any of you. It'll be humane, I promise." Amajiki just stares at you with an unreadable expression. You sigh and click your pen. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions, Amajiki?" He shakes his head but stays quiet.

"Can you please state your full name, age and date of birth?"

"U-um. Tamaki Amajiki, 25, March 4th."

"Thank you. And what is your quirk?"

Amajiki hugs his knees tighter. "I-It's called Manifestation. Essentially, whatever I eat and digest, I can manifest as a body part."

Your leg bounces in excitement. "So, if you were to eat, let's say, Takoyaki, you can turn your hand into tentacles?" He nods his head. Your eyes light up. "That is incredible, Amajiki. That's such a powerful quirk!"

Amajiki's eyes widened, a blush spreading across his cheeks that were partially hidden under his muzzle. This is the first time he's ever been thankful to have this thing attached to his face. "U-um, t-thanks."

You let out a soft giggle and continue writing in your notes. "Here's a little bit more of a difficult question, Amajiki. Can you please tell me why you are incarcerated in this facility?"

Amajiki stays quiet, not looking at you. You notice his hesitation. You think for a moment before looking around the room. Amajiki sneaks a glance at you, watching you look around the room. His brows furrow. "W-What are you…"

You finally spot the locations of the camera and move your body so your back was facing it. Ignoring his question, you place your pen down directly in front of you so only Amajiki can see. You furrow your brows in concentration and stick your tongue out as you hover your hand over your pen. To Amajiki's utter shock, the pen starts floating in the air.

"Y-You have a quirk?!"

You nod your head and release the pen from your power. "Yeah, I do. It's nothing fancy like yours, but it is a mutation, nonetheless. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who understands more of your situation than you might think. So that's why I wanted to show you." You smile at the man, who is looking at you with pure adoration. "Please, keep this to yourself. I don't know what Aizawa would do if he found out about it." 

"I-I won't tell anyone, I promise."

You giggle and sit back down in your original spot. "Thank you. Now, can you please tell me why you're in this facility?"

He nods his head, still slightly dazed about this new-found information. "I was charged with multiple counts of 1st degree murder a-and…" his voice drops to a whisper, "s-serial cannibalism."

You couldn't help your interest in the subject and started rambling. "Would you be so kind as to explain how this came about? Did you grow up into a family of cannibals or-"

"NO!" He lashes out, causing you to flinch slightly. He winces as your reaction, not intending to scare you. "N-no. Nothing like that. It happened… against my will, so to say?" Amajiki sighs and rests his chin on his arms, not meeting your eyes. "I was one of the only kids in my small town to have been born with a mutation. My parents tried to hide it, tried to hide me. I don't know if it was from fear of people hurting me or fear of everyone judging them for having me."

He blinks a few times before continuing. "The town I lived in was small, a bad side to say the least. Lots of low-lifes and gangs running around. Well, long story short, someone found out about me and what my quirk was. They kidnapped me and…" He trails off. Suddenly, his eyes snapped to yours, an uncomfortable and intense feeling overwhelming you. "They forced me to eat another person, someone with a quirk. They wanted to see if I could turn their power into my own."

He cocks his head and lets out a cackle, still making eye contact with you. "Can you believe that?! It actually worked! So what did they do? They forced me to eat ANOTHER quirk user. They wanted to turn me into an ultimate weapon." Amajiki lets out a strange noise, sounding like a mixture between a guttural sob and a laugh. "Well, the joke was on them in the end. I ended up killing and eating them in the end and escaping. But after that point, something mutated further in my quirk. I couldn't stop craving human flesh." He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. "A-And that's why I'm here now."

Your eyes are wide and your breath is heavy. Something inside you feels a sense of panic, looking at the clearly broken man in front of you. It's so much information to take in, you stay quiet for awhile, your body on high alert. Amajiki notices how quiet you are and he opens his eyes. He notices a terrified look on your face and internally panics.

"W-Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I-I'm not going to hurt you." He finally moves out from his huddled form and kneels instead, the sound of chains clinking together snapping you out of it. "I-I would n-never hurt you." He whispers the last part, hoping you wouldn't hear it.

You clear your throat after taking a few deep breaths. "T-Thank you for telling me this, Amajiki. It was really brave of you to relive those experiences." You look at him and notice the fear and concern in his face. Giving him a small smile, you close your notebook. "I'm fine, I promise." You stand up on shaky legs and bow your head. "I need to get going."

Amajiki quickly stands up, making you slightly flinch again, which doesn't go unnoticed by him. "Y-You're leaving already? Will I get to see you again?"

"You will. I'm an employee here now, so I'll be the one to check up on all the inmates and work on everyone's individual sessions." You turn your back and walk to the door. "I'll see you later, Amajiki."

The indigo-haired man watches you walk through his door, longing written across his face. The only thing running through his mind are thoughts of the pretty telekinesis that made his heart race.

Once out the door, Aizawa meets you in the hallway. "How'd it go with the man-eater?"

You scowl at the doctor. "Why do you say things like that? He has a name."

"He's a criminal, Y/N. They're all criminals. Shouldn't matter what we call them." He rolls his eyes. "Just come with me. We have to finish our paperwork before the end of the day."

You grumble under your breath but follow the tired-looking doctor to his office. "You also need to prepare yourself for tomorrow. You will be meeting Kaminari, Midoriya, Shinso, Bakugo, Todoroki, Dabi and Kai. And 5 out of the 7 are level 8 and above."

~~~

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[If your name is bolded, I wasn’t able to tag you]

[fwacchi]

Congrats on 100+ followers! Can you do I and Q for Reimu, Shu and Suha? Thank you in advance<3

thank you!! <3 and sorry for the long wait

100 followers event request

pairings: Reimu Endou, Shu Yamino, Min Suha x gn!reader

letters: I and Q

Reimu Endou

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She would always tell you she loves you even when the two of you are just friends, but it would take a while for her to genuinely and seriously say “I love you” to you.

Though, the way she treats you would give away that she’s actually in love with you.

It’s like even she wouldn’t realise that she’s in love with you because of how she always playfully flirts with you.

But when she takes a step back and thinks it through, she herself can see the difference in treating you and her normal friends.

After genuinely confessing to you, she’ll still keep saying the three words to you everyday, but this time, it’s more genuine.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

There are things about you that she remembers and doesn’t remember at the same time.

If it’s something really important, then she’ll always remember it.

But she tends to forget little things like your favourite colours, favourite starbucks orders and such.

Not that she completely forgets it and has no idea, but it’s more like she’s confused. She doesn’t trust herself and goes “This is what you usually order right?” and most of the time, she ends up getting it right.

Shu Yamino

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Even though he knows that he loves you, he would take a long time to tell you.

He would want to be sure that you too feel the same about him before confessing.

He’d also be quite shy and nervous to confess and his friends would have to slightly push him to do it.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers every little thing about you.

You only have to tell him once for him to remember, and if it’s your favourite food or drink order, then you don’t even have to tell him.

He’d just see you ordering once and he’ll remember it forever.

He generally loves listening to you talk so he makes sure to pay attention to everything you say, even if you, yourself may forget it the next morning.

Min Suha

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Though Suha is generally a shy guy, he would say he loves you pretty quickly.

He’s someone who falls in love quickly and he doesn’t hesitate to say it to you as soon as he realises that he loves you.

He is afraid of rejection considering how quick he’s confessing but that won’t stop him.

He wants to get it out of his chest and that’s exactly what he does.

Don’t mistake his love as nothing serious because though his confession is quick, he genuinely loves you.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He would pay very close attention to every little thing you say and would remember everything you say.

But he usually likes to mess with you by pretending to forget things.

He doesn’t joke around about it with important things but he would do things like messing up your drink orders and such.

Would purposely give his drink to you and be like “huh? I thought you always ordered that?” but don’t worry he has your perfect drink in his hand.

[urfavstargirl1]

The Empress, Part III

A/n: Hi everyone! things are starting to get spicier in this chapter ;) i’m still figuring out the pacing and how long I want this fic to go on, but I’ve definitely got a few more chapters in me so hold on tight!

AO3 Link

Kylo Ren x Female Reader

Words: 3440

Chapters: 3/10 

Chapter Summary: A few weeks into y/n and Kylo Ren’s relationship and things have been equally exhilarating and challenging. 

Story Summary: (tentative) As Kylo Ren steps into power as Supreme Leader, he struggles to use his power to effectively lead the Empire. Y/N is a renowned Commander eagerly working her way up the ranks. Her loyalty to the Empire is tested when the Supreme Leader suddenly takes an interest in her. When one date becomes several and she is ultimately tasked with becoming Empress and wife of the Supreme Leader, will Y/N be able to handle that kind of power outside the commander’s uniform?

CW: angst, romance, light making out (??), kissing, fluff

“Commander y/n,” a voice calls out to me.

“Yes?”

“Your presence on the Korr mission has been authorized by the Supreme Leader,” General Hux commands.

“Oh okay,” I nod, accepting the instruction.

“We take off in 48 hours. The mission will be three days long. Prepare however you must.”

“Yes, sir. May I ask who else will be on this mission?”

“The mission has been restricted to you, me, General Ameen from the Star Brigade, and the Supreme Leader, of course,” Hux discloses. The Supreme Leader. Of course. I gulp.

“If there are no further questions, I will leave you with your mission packet. We will meet at the Hanger in Zone F.”

“Yes sir. I will make sure to become familiar with its contents.”

“I’ll see you in 48 hours, Commander,” Hux nods. I return the nod and walk back to my station.

It’s the day I’ve been waiting for since that bizarre meeting almost a month ago. I’ll have to brief my unit and prepare them for my absence. I’ll also need to study my mission materials. I’ll take a look at those during my lunch hour and whatever I don’t get to I’ll go over tonight. Shoot I also need to pack a bag too. And I should probably send Balia and Karmir a message letting them know I’ll be on mission for the next few days. 

Kylo and I have been talking about this mission for a while. Sometimes we talk about it in his office during brief one-on ones to discuss strategy and other times we talk in his library about what we think might happen when we get to Korr.

     “I haven’t been to Korr in years.”

     “Do you miss it?”

     “Sort of. I guess in a way it was like my second home, but I've heard it’s changed a lot in the past few years and with the rebel base there now, I don’t really know what to expect.”

     “Does your cousin still live there?”

     “No, she and my aunt and uncle moved away a couple years ago. Does your friend from Jedi training live there?”

     “I wouldn’t know. We fell out of touch shortly after Jedi training,” he says solemnly. I reach for his hand and he sighs.

     “Do you miss him?”

     “Not anymore.”

     “Why do you say that?”

     “We were very good friends at one point. He was perhaps the closest confidant I ever had, until I joined the Dark Side that is. I wanted him to join me, but he refused. He said I was no longer the man he once thought I was. He ended up joining the Rebel Forces and I haven’t heard from him since.”

Conversations like that were shared between Kylo and I. For the past month, I’ve snuck out practically every other night to see him. About a week and a half in, there was one night I almost got caught. When leaving my quarters, a pair of stormtroopers happened to be patrolling the area and asked my whereabouts. I panicked at first, then lied and said that I was going to retrieve something I had left in my office by accident. They bought the lie, but they still didn’t let me leave. They said that leaving your quarters was prohibited for the night in my hall due to maintenance of some sort. After that night, I talked to Kylo and his solution was to have his assigned stormtrooper guards escort me from my quarters to our meeting locations.

“Kylo, it’s not fair. At any given time, no one questions where you’re going or why. I don’t have that luxury. You’re putting me in a position to get in trouble.”

“But if you’re escorted by the guards then our problems are solved: no one will question your whereabouts.” 

“I’m not a child. I don’t want to have to be escorted anywhere. Plus, I already feel bad making them look after us when they could be doing something far more important.” 

“I know, but let’s look at the alternative. What does it look like for the Supreme Leader to be knocking on the door of a commander’s quarters after hours?” I freeze at the thought. I’ve never let a man in my quarters before. Friends sure, but there’s usually other places to spend time, I never really had to worry about that before.

“For the time being, there are only a few places on the ship where we can be together and only a few ways we can make that happen. This is our only option.”  

After that night, I received a personal escort to see him in his library or some secret location on the ship that I have no idea how he knows about. Sometimes we talk and eat. Other times we read or play card games I’ve taught him. There’s only so much to do when you’re dating the most famous man in the Empire in secret, but it’s enough for now. To my surprise, he’s quite a lot of fun to be around and we have a lot more in common than I would have imagined. 

Sometimes I wake up to a handwritten letter from Kylo delivered to my quarters. It’s usually just an invitation to our meeting place that night, but on days we don’t meet up, his letters say things like ‘I look forward to our next union’ or whatever random thought he wishes to share with me. It’s safe to say I’ve kept all of them in a collection stashed at the back of my closet. It makes me feel like a teenager again! Sometimes I reread his notes and run my finger along the chicken scrawl of his handwriting. No one ever said the Supreme Leader was perfect, but it does amuse me. My own handwriting isn’t much neater, but it just feels so Kylo to see his written thoughts like that.

Tomorrow will be the first mission that I go on with the Supreme Leader. This is also the first trip I go on with Kylo. I prefer to only think of the former because it’s much easier that way. Plus, it feels weird and kind of early to think about taking a trip with Kylo after only a few weeks of getting to know each other. For now, I need to focus on getting things in order and having a good night's rest. Oh stars, please let this be a good mission.

---

I groggily make my way over to Hux, Kylo, and a man whom I’m assuming is General Ameen huddled next to two cruisers. Take-off time is way too early.

“Ah, Commander y/n, now that you’re here and we’re all accounted for, we can prepare for take-off. I was just giving General Ameen and the Supreme Leader the coordinates I received from the Amian leaders on where our designated landing spots are located. Each cruiser seats two and since General Ameen and Supreme Leader are the only ones pilot trained, we’ll each be flying with them. I will fly with General Ameen and you will fly with the Supreme Leader,” Hux instructs. Um… WHAT? I want to protest and look at Kylo and ask why I got paired with him, but if I react like that they’ll definitely know something’s up. I would never question a direct order otherwise.

“Yes sir,” I respond. Up until now, I thought we were doing a good enough job at keeping this a secret. I thought we were acting normally enough at work to not make anyone suspect us. Fortunately it’s not like I work one on one with him all the time so there’s less of an opportunity for most people to see us and suspect something. But this mission is bringing us closer together and that could be enough to make someone like Hux suspicious.

“Commander y/n,” Kylo commands, taking me out of my worried trance. I see Hux and Ameen heading toward their cruiser and Kylo walking toward ours. I jog to catch up while deciding just how I’m going to ambush Kylo about this seating arrangement. We enter the ship and the panel closes shut. We take our seats, him in the pilot and me in the passenger.

“I didn’t know you received pilot training,” I wonder aloud.

“Man of many talents, remember?” he says with a smirk and I nod tensely, still furious at the situation and by extension, him.

Kylo puts on his headset and turns on the microphone. He barks commands to Ameen on the other side. They both press random buttons across the control panel and then look at one another. Ameen salutes and flies off. Kylo does the same and soon we’re reaching light speed. I stare out the window and admire the blurring starlight. 

Kylo conveys several more commands and directions and I look over to him. His fluffy black hair sticks out of his head set in the cutest way. His hands gracefully and methodically scatter about the control panel. After our first dinner together, I made it a point to jokingly gift him a bottle of hand lotion and he’s been using it ever since. “It actually feels so much better when I wear my gloves now,” he commented, like it was the biggest discovery ever. The thought makes me smile.

Seeing how animated he gets while flying is something new. It’s kind of adorable, like watching a little boy play flying an imaginary airplane. He makes a joke to Ameen and he laughs from whatever Ameen had said in response. Seeing him so in control and in his element makes something in my heart stir. It’s a side of him I realize has always been there, but now, I am one of the select few who is privileged enough to see it.

“Haha, okay. Tell Hux not to eat all the snacks… Yes, okay… I’ll sign off for now… Yes… Yes, Commander y/n and I will see you two on Planet Korr… Okay, Supreme Leader signing off,” Kylo exclaims into the microphone. Then he turns it off and hangs up his headset.

“The mic is off right?”

“Yes my worried darling, no one can hear us right now.”

“Okay.”

“Sorry about all that. Ameen is a bit of a joker, but he’s funny enough that I don’t even mind.”

“I’ve never met him before embarking on this mission.”

“Oh yes, the brigade he leads works in a different region of the ship.”

“Oh okay,” I respond. I’m not really up for the chit chat. 

“Yeah, I think you’ll like him. He’s a very smart and cunning leader.”

“Mhm.” I turn to look out the window and distract my thoughts with the stars.

“Hey, is something wrong, y/n?”

“Kylo, why did we get paired up to ride in the cruiser together?”

“Oh that! That’s actually a funny story.”

“It’s not funny to me, Kylo. If people find out–,”

“Y/n, please, I haven’t even told you what happened yet. Just hear me out okay?”

I glare upward at him with furrowed eyebrows, eyelashes pressed against my upper eyelids. “Okay.”

“Well, believe it or not, I'm not the only one who's taken notice of you. General Hux thinks you're a very fine up-and-coming young leader," he says the last part in a voice mimicking the stern but calm general. I can't help but laugh at how accurate he sounds.

“He told me that he sees a lot of potential in you and that you could benefit from some mentorship. I agreed with him and he suggested I take you under my wing. I rejected his idea, for obvious reasons, but offered that maybe we first bring you into meetings where you could meet other leaders or work on assignments with more responsibility, like this one. He still insisted we spend some one-on-one time, I guess to impart any wisdom a supreme leader might have. But I promise this wasn't my doing.”

Wow, I can’t believe it. Way to go Hux for being my wingman, cheerleader, and coach. I'll have to thank him for that when I get a chance. 

“Y/n”

“I had no idea. I can't believe he said that ,” I say, reflecting on the image of Hux and Kylo talking about me behind closed doors. 

“Wait, did he really say that or are you just making that up because you actually pleaded to him oh please, please let me sit next to the beautiful wonderful y/n on this mission,” I say mocking him in a high pitched voice.

“First of all, I do not sound like that,” he scolds teasingly and I chuckle.

“I know, Kylo. I know I just… Things are really good right now and I’m afraid they won’t last long.”

“Nothing good can last forever,” Kylo dictates and it makes me shrink in my seat. I can feel my bottom lip quiver and I start blinking really fast. He must take notice of my reaction because then he adds, “Sorry. That was something I heard a lot growing up, it’s kind of instilled in me... I find it to be true, but still, I want this to last as long as possible too.”

I think about his words and can’t imagine how much it must’ve taken for him to admit that. We sit in silence as I reflect on what just transpired. Once I get comfortable again, I start a conversation.

“So how long have you been a pilot?”

“Longer than you can imagine, little star. I always wanted to learn how to fly when I was a boy. The first chance I had to attend pilot training, I seized it. It’s served me pretty well since.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to do anything fun on this mission?”

“Y/n it’s a mission. What do you think?”

“Yeah but we aren’t going to be on duty the whole entire time. We’ll have some personal time right?”

“Is this your first mission?” he quickly looks over at me before returning his gaze to the path ahead of him.

“Kylo, you don’t get to be a commander without going on a few missions!’

“I don’t know y/n, I guess it just depends on how things go. Perhaps if they go smoothly, we might have some time to spare for fun,” he shrugs.

“Hm.. okay.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Um… I was just thinking about…,” I start, trying to find a subtle way to introduce my idea to him.

“Thinking about what?”

“Well… maybe if we had some time to spare… we could do something fun.”

He gives me a side eye paired with a growing smirk. 

“Okay,” he says with amusement. “What kind of something fun were you thinking about?”

Oh Kylo, I have quite a few things in mind, but there’s one in particular I want. I think back to a night we shared in the hidden chamber in his library with the windows to the stars and nebulae. It was almost a week ago when we shared our first kiss in that very room. We had shared embraces, light touches of the hands, and things like that before, but it was all building up to that one hypnotic evening.

I was going on about something unimportant, so unimportant that I don’t even remember what it was anymore. And then, he interrupted me by grabbing my face and pulling me into an absolutely face-melting kiss. “You talk too much,” he had whispered in between soft kisses. I’d brought my hands up to his neck while his snaked around my waist, pulling me toward him. The heat from his body seeped into my own. The scent of soap, musk, and possibly a hint of cologne on his body was enough to make me feel delirious and thrilled by the surprising act. When his tongue slipped its way into my mouth, it was game over. I mimicked his movement and our mouths were in a perfectly choreographed routine. Our lips danced and tongues explored the other's mouth. We stood there devouring each other. I raised my fingers to card through his coarse hair. With a light tug to the locks, a groan involuntarily escaped from his lips and traveled its way into my own mouth. Oh. Oh. Wow. Heat spread throughout my entire body and a wave of thrill overcame me, making me smile into the kiss. Kylo’s ungloved hands pressed into the soft and clothed flesh of my waist. We stood like that for several moments. It felt like a lifetime and at the same time, not long enough.

     “Kylo,” I whispered between kisses.

     “Hmph,” he responded.

     “Kylo,” I repeated, slightly pulling apart from the kiss. He whimpered. We remained holding each other, with our foreheads touching. I looked at him, waiting for him to open his eyes.

     “Maybe we should… stop… for now,” I whispered, holding his face in my hands. I rubbed my thumb in small circles along his left cheek. I made sure to place gentle touches along the part of his scar I could reach. He nodded ever so slightly and leaned into my left hand. I drew my right thumb over his lips and he pressed a light kiss to it. His eyes fluttered open slowly.

     “That was… otherworldly, y/n” he says in a low sexy growl I don’t think I’ve ever heard him use before. I wonder where he learned to kiss like that? Hypothetically speaking, because I never want to know the answer to that. But man, did he kiss me like his life depended on it.

     “I could say the same. All this time, I never would have guessed the Supreme Leader was such a good kisser,” I quipped.

     “Next time you question my authority I’ll have to attack you with…,” he roars then exclaims, “kisses!” He leaves several pecks all across my face and a long languid kiss on my lips. 

“The kinds of things we do in your library... in the hidden chamber,” I say nonchalantly. He raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, those things,” he nods with curiosity. “To that, I say… keep it in your robes y/n this is a work event,” he yells and sends me into a fit of giggles.

“Wow, okay is that what we’re doing? Fine, if we’re going to wear our professional hats right now, why don’t you impart some of this alleged Supreme Leadery wisdom on me,” I tease.

“Oh you want wisdom, well, tip number one, don’t date someone you met at work, it never ends well.” I swat at his arm.

“Kylo!”

“Kidding, kidding. Um, let me see… There’s a… well… no.”

“This is it? This is the wisdom General Hux was raving about?”

“No, no. I… C’mon y/n, throw me a bone. What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know! I guess is there anything you would tell your younger self if you could?”

“Hm… Well, there is something. People told me this all the time, but i didn’t listen. It’s true what they say, you know. It does get lonely at the top... Keep those friends of yours close. You’re going to need them where you’re going,” he says and it strikes me odd. He can be so callous in public yet so endearing in private. His statement also makes me wonder just how much he’s had to go through all alone.

“I’ve known Balia and Karmir for ages, they’re my best friends in the whole galaxy. I can’t wait for you to meet them someday,” I comment.

“If they are people you keep close to your heart, then I wouldn’t mind being acquainted with them.”

“They can’t wait to meet you too. When I told them how good of a kisser you are, they were so shocked.”

“You told them WHAT?” Kylo angrily shouts.

“Kylo, I’m just kidding,” I plead while stifling a laugh. He exhales in frustration.

“I only told them we kissed, not that you were any good at it,” I tease again.

“Y/n! Why would you do such a thing?”

“Kylo, I’m sorry. I’m kidding, for real this time,” I assure and place a hand on his thigh close to his knee and squeeze. “I swear I didn’t tell them anything about the kiss. In fact. I actually haven’t told them much of what’s happened between us. I promised myself that I wouldn’t say much beyond if things are going well or not. The less they know the better, plus it’s still early enough that I want to keep things to myself for a bit longer.”

He sighs in relief.

“I see. But if you keep joking like that, you’re going give me a heart attack before we even land on this planet,” he gruffly responds.

“I know. It’s so funny to see you get all riled up though,” I smirk and he glares at me before turning his gaze back to the path.

“This is going to be a long mission, isn’t it?” I ask. He looks over at me and I give him my softest eyes and pout my lips a bit. I’m sorry, I try to convey with my face.

“Yes,” my expression brings a half grin to his face,”but there is no one else I’d rather have by my side,” he says, holding back a smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:  @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange​ // @asherrenwrites  // @g-l-pierce​ // @livi-s​  // @gruffle1​ // @hueanhdang

[cielrouge]

YA SFF Books by Black Authors 

A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow: About the strength of black sisterhood set in Portland, OR, best friends Tavi and Effie discover their true supernatural identity when Effie starts being haunted by demons from her past, and Tavia accidentally lets out her magical siren voice during a police stop.

A Chorus Rises (A Song Below Water #2) by Bethany C. Morrow: Teen influencer Naema Bradshaw is an Eloko, a person who’s gifted with a song that woos anyone who hears it. Everyone loves her — well, until she's cast as the awful person who exposed Tavia’s secret siren powers. When a new, flourishing segment of Naema’s online supporters start targeting black girls, however, Naema must discover the true purpose of her magical voice.

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown: Inspired by West African folklore in which a grieving crown princess, Karina, and a desperate refugee, Malik, find themselves on a collision course to murder each other, despite their growing attraction.

Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor: Sunny Nwazue, an American-born albino child of Nigerian parents, moves with her family back to Nigeria, where she learns that she has latent magical powers which she and three similarly gifted friends use to catch a serial killer.

Akata Warrior (Akata Witch #2) by Nnedi Okorafor: Now stronger, feistier, and a bit older, Sunny Nwazue, along with her friends from the the Leopard Society, travel through worlds, both visible and invisible, to the mysterious town of Osisi, where they fight in a climactic battle to save humanity.

Bad Witch Burning by Jessica Lewis: For fans of Us and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comes a witchy story full of black girl magic as one girl’s dark ability to summon the dead offers her a chance at a new life, while revealing to her an even darker future.

Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi: After he eats the sin of a royal, Taj, a talented aki, or sin-eater who consumes the guilt of others whose transgressions are exorcised from them by powerful but corrupt Mages, is drawn into a plot to destroy the city, and he must fight to save the princess he loves and his own life.

Beasts of Prey by Ayana Gray: Two Black teenagers, talented Beastkeeper Koffi and warrior-in-training Ekon, must trek into a magical jungle to take down an ancient creature menacing the city of Lkossa, before they become the hunted.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In the opulent world of Orléans, where Beauty is a commodity only a few control, Belle Camellia Beauregard will learn the dark secrets behind her powers, and rise up to change the world. 

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney: A whimsical and butt-kicking Alice in Wonderland retelling featuring a black teen heroine who battles Nightmares in the dark and terrifying dream realm known as Wonderland. 

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves: 16-year-old Hanna reunites with her estranged mother in an East Texas town that is haunted with doors to dimensions of the dead and protected by demon hunters called Mortmaine.

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury: Set in near-future Toronto in which, after failing to come into her powers, 16-year-old Black witch Voya Thomas must choose between losing her family’s magic forever or murdering her first love.

The Bones of Ruin by Sarah Raughley: Set in Victorian England, African tightrope walker Iris cannot die; but soon gets drafted in the fight-to-the-death tournament of freaks where she learns the terrible truth of who and what she really is.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi: 17-year-old Zélie and companions journey to a mythic island seeking a chance to bring back magic to the land of Orïsha, in a fantasy world infused with the textures of West Africa.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2) by Tomi Adeyemi: After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But with civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart.

Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron: 16-year-old Sophia would much rather marry Erin, her childhood best friend, than parade in front of suitors. At the ball, Sophia flees, hiding in Cinderella’s mausoleum. There, she meets Constance, the last known descendant of Cinderella and her step sisters. Together they vow to bring down the king once and for all.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary--including using the most deadly magic--to track him down. 

A Crown So Cursed (Nightmare Verse #3) by L.L. McKinney: Alice is ready to jump into battle when she learns that someone is building an army of Nightmares to attack the mortal world, before she learns of a personal connection to Wonderland.

Daughters of Jubilation by Kara Lee Corthron: In Jim Crow South, black teen Evalene Deschamps finds her place among a family of women gifted with magical abilities, known as jubilation - a gift passed down from generations of black women since the time of slavery.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland: The Civil War is over, but mostly because the dead rose at Gettysburg—and then started rising everywhere else. Fighting the undead is a breeze for Jane McKenne, an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. But the fight for freedom? That’s a different story.

Deathless Divide (Dread Nation #2) by Justina Ireland: After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler. But nothing is easy when you’re a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to Nicodermus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880’s America.

A Dream So Dark (Nightmare Verse #2) by L.L. McKinney: Still reeling from her recent battle (and grounded until she graduates) Alice must cross the Veil to rescue her friends and stop the Black Knight once and for all in Wonderland.

Early Departures by Justin A. Reynolds: Jamal’s best friend Q is brought back to life after a freak accident … but they only have a short time together before he will die again.  How can Jamal fix his friendship without the truth?

Fate of Flames by Sarah Raughley:  Before they can save the world from the monstrous phantoms, four girls who have the power to control the classical elements: earth, air, fire, and water must first try to figure out how to work together. 

For All Time by Shanna Miles: Tamar and Fayard, two Black teens, are fated to repeat their love story across hundreds of lifetimes, from 14th-century Mali to the distant future, as they struggle to break the cycle.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna: Inspired by the culture of West Africa, a feminist fantasy debut traces the experiences of 16-year-old Deka, who is invited to leave her discriminatory village to join the emperor’s army of near-immortal women warriors.

The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The country of Arketta calls them Good Luck Girls--they know their luck is anything but. Sold to a "welcome house" as children and branded with cursed markings. When Clementine accidentally kills a man, the girls risk a dangerous escape to find freedom, justice, and revenge.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron: Set in a West African-inspired fantasy kingdom, Arrah comes from a long line of powerful witchdoctors, yet fails at magic. When Arrah trade years off her life for magic to stop the Demon King from destroying the world—that is if it doesn’t kill her first.

Legacy of Light (The Effgies #3) by Sarah Raughley: After Saul’s strike on Oslo—one seemingly led by Maia herself—the Effigies’ reputation is in shambles. Belle has gone rogue, Chae Rin and Lake have disappeared, and the Sect is being dismantled and replaced by a terrifying new world order helmed by Blackwell. If the Effigies can’t put the pieces together soon, there may not be much left of the world they’ve fought so desperately to save.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn: In this King Arthur retelling, Black teen Bree Matthews infiltrates a secret society of powerful magic wielders to find out the truth behind her mother’s untimely death.

Mem by Bethany C. Morrow: In alternate reality Montreal (1925), a young woman’s personality is the result of a startling experimental procedure, leaving her to struggle with the question of who she really is.

Miles Morales, Spider-Man by Jason Reynolds: But Miles Morales accidentally discovers a villainous teacher's plan to turn good kids bad, he will need to come to terms with his own destiny as the new Spider-man. 

Oh My Gods by Alexandra Sheppard: Half-mortal teenager Helen Thomas goes to live with her father—who is Zeus, masquerading as a university professor—and must do her best to keep the family secret intact.

The Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds: After falling for Kate, her unexpected death sends Jack back in time to the moment they first met, but he soon learns that his actions have consequences when someone else close to him dies.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith: Set in a futuristic, hostile Orleans landscape, Fen de la Guerre must deliver her tribe leader's baby over the Wall into the Outer States before her blood becomes tainted with Delta Fever. 

Nubia: Real One by L.L. McKinney & Robyn Smith: When Nubia’s best friend, Quisha, is threatened by a boy who thinks he owns the town, Nubia will risk it all—her safety, her home, and her crush on that cute kid in English class—to become the hero society tells her she isn’t.

A Phoenix First Must Burn: 16 Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope edited by Patrice Caldwell: Filled with stories of love and betrayal, strength and resistance, this collection contains an array of complex and true-to-life characters in which you cannot help but see yourself reflected. Witches and scientists, sisters and lovers, priestesses and rebels.

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron: In this contemporary fantasy inspired by The Secret Garden, Black teen Briseis has a gift: she can grow plants with a single touch. Up against a centuries-old curse and the deadliest plant on earth, Bri must harness her gift to protect herself and her family, when a nefarious group comes after her in search of a rare and dangerous immortality elixir.

A Psalm of Storm and Silence (A Song of Wraiths and Ruin #2) by Roseanne A. Brown: As the fabric holding Sonande together begins to tear, Malik and Karina once again find themselves torn between their duties and their desires.

A Queen of Gilded Horns (A River of Royal Blood #2) by Amanda Joy: After learning the truth of her heritage, Eva is on the run with her sister Isa as her captive, but with the Queendom of Myre on the brink of revolution, Eva and Isa must make peace with each other to save their kingdom.

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko: In a West African-inspired empire, Tarisai is raised by The Lady and sent to kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself?

Redemptor (Raybearer #2) by Jordan Ifueko: For the first time, an Empress Redemptor sits on Aritsar's throne. To appease the sinister spirits of the dead, Tarisai must now anoint a council of her own, coming into her full power as a Raybearer.

The Ravens by Danielle Page & Kass Morgan: The sisters of Kappu Rho Nu share a secret: they’re a coven of witches. For Vivi Deveraux, being one of Kappa Rho Nu’s Ravens means getting a chance to redefine herself. For Scarlett Winters, a bonafide Raven and daughter of a legacy Raven. When Vivi and Scarlett are paired as big and little for initiation, they find themselves sinking into the sinister world of blood oaths and betrayals.

Rebel Sisters (War Girls #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Though they are working toward common goals of helping those who suffered, Ify and Uzo are worlds apart. But when a mysterious virus breaks out among the children in the Space Colonies, their paths collide.

Reaper of Souls (Kingdom of Souls #2) by Rena Barron: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy: A North African-inspired feminist fantasy in which two sisters, Eva and Isa must compete in a magical duel to the death for the right to inherit the queendom of Myre.  

Slice of Cherry by Dia Reeves: In Portero, Texas, teens Kit and Fancy Cordelle, daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, bring two boys with similar tendencies to a world of endless possibilities they have discovered behind a mysterious door.

Siege of Shadows (The Effigies #2) by Sarah Raughley:  After Saul reappears with an army of soldiers with Effigy-like abilities, threatening to unleash the monstrous Phantoms, e-year-old Maia and the other Effigies hope to defeat him by discovering the source of their power over the four classical elements, but they are betrayed by the Sect and bogged down by questions about the previous Fire Effigy's murder.

The Sisters of Reckoning (The Good Luck Girls #2) by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The blockbuster sequel to an alternate Old West-set commercial fantasy adventure.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow: Set in the near-future, in which a captive teen human and a young alien leader—bonded by their love of forbidden books and music—embark on a desperate road trip as they attempt to overturn alien rule and save humankind. 

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi: Set in a futuristic, Black Panther-inspired Nigeria, sisters Onyii and Ify, separated by a devastating civil war, must fight their way back to each other against all odds.

Vessel by Sarah Beth Durst: When the goddess Bayla fails to take over Liyana's body, Liyana's people abandon her in the desert to find a more worthy vessel, but she soon meets Korbyn, who says the souls of seven deities have been stolen and he needs Liyana's help to find them.

The Weight of Stars by K. Ancrum: After a horrific accident brings loners Ryann and Alexandria together, Ryann learns that Alexandria's mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system.

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson: Black teen Marigold and her blended family move into a newly renovated, picture-perfect home in a dilapidated Midwestern city, and are haunted by what she thinks are ghosts, but might be far worse.

Wings of Ebony by J. Elle: Black teen Rue, from a poor neighborhood who, after learning she is half-human, half-goddess, must embrace both sides of her heritage to unlock her magic and destroy the racist gods poisoning her neighborhood with violence, drugs, and crime.

Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Thomas: In this Jamaican-inspired fantasy debut, two witches from enemy castes—one seeking power, and one seeking revenge—will stop at nothing to overthrow the witch queen, even if it means forming an alliance with each other and unleashing chaos on their island nation.

Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood: An Ethiopian-inspired Jane Eyre retelling in which an unlicensed debtera, or exorcist, Andromeda, is hired to rid a castle of its dangerous curses, only to fall in love with Magnus Rochester, a boy whose life hangs in the balance.

Yesterday Is History by Kosoko Jackson: Black teen Andre Cobb undergoes a liver transplant and as a side effect winds up slipping through time from present-day Boston to 1969 NYC on the eve of the Stonewall riots, delivering a story that is part romance, part gay history, and part time-travel drama, exploring how far we have and haven't come. 

[porgthespacepenguin]

Thoughts about episode 2.8 (1/3)

Oh, boy. Where to even begin?!

As you'll see, there is a lot to discuss in this episode, nearly as much as 2.7, and that's saying something.

As usual, I'll spend the first post gathering my thoughts about Q and Qcard, and give more attention to the the plot and team Picard in a later post.

Buckle up, folks.

(Spoilers under the cut, obviously.)

Oh, Q

Let's start with the Q-shaped elephant in the custody room.

It turns out @celestialwarzone and I were right about the foreshadowing surrounding Q's fate:

(For the record, I wish we had been wrong. Sorry!)

It gets worse. Q's not just dying, he's fading away:

"I, on the other hand, seems to be disappearing into nothing."

Reminds you of something? It's Maman Picard's story:

"... beaten at his own game, he melted..."

@celestialwarzone speculated last night that, based on the fairy tale, Q may end up disappearing into the timeline, "melting" into nothingness, rather than outright dying.

Which, while heartbreaking, would make for a very compelling Search for Q scenario in season 3, at least.

(By the way, since the fairy tale seems to be telling us exactly what'll happen to Q, I admit I'm exceedingly worried about this part:

"... in time, they'd forget he was ever there."

I don't know what it's in store for Q yet, but it scares me.)

Anyway, Q admits he is essentially dying, although he refutes the term:

"You think I'm dying? I prefer to believe I am on the threshold of the unknowable."

Unknowable?

Now where have we heard that word before?

Oh, okay. I see we're still going for the "subtle as a brick" narrative choices then?

To know and to love

Jokes aside, there is something deeper at work here. The word choice is too pointed, too specific, for it to be random: the show wants us to connect these two statements.

Remember the dark present? They fear what they don't know, and in turn, hate what they fear.

Well, flip that thought upon itself: to love someone, you have to know them first.

In fact, in ancient Hebrew, the concept of "knowing someone" held a much deeper meaning than we ascribe it today. It implied a profound, personal relationship. Love, even.

Knowing someone is the first step towards loving them.

(Brief aside: there's a song called "To know him is to love him" and the lyrics are... interesting, to say the least.

"To (...) know him

Is (...) love him

Just to see him smile

Makes my life worthwhile"

Worthwhile, as in meaningful. Hold that thought, we'll come back to it.)

In episode 2.7, Picard admits outright that he doesn't know Q, not truly:

"I always filed Q as unknowable (...)"

Picard has never let himself know Q, because to know him would be to love him -- and that's too terrifying to contemplate.

If like me, you are a curious little gremlin, you may want to swap the words in Picard's little speech in episode 2.7 and see what happens:

"Love thyself. That's what he wanted. Love myself."

"What if the lesson I take is... love him?"

"I always filed Q as unlovable (...)"

Interesting. It seems, from a narrative standpoint at least, that where Picard is concerned, "know" functions as a symbolic code word for "love".

However, on Q's side, the keyword is different, because Q knows Picard, and he knows that he loves him. That's not in question.

For Q, the important word is "meaning".

Remember Q's iconic speech to Dr. Soong:

"We're all hostages to what we love. The only way to truly be free is to love nothing. How meaningless would that be?"

In Q's own words, love is meaning.

Back to Guinan and Q's discussion about his impeding death, only let's substitute "love" for "meaning", shall we:

"And so I prepared myself to be envelopped in the warm glow of love. Well, that moment has yet to come. Not even a glimmer."

(Notice the references to light!)

Guinan continues:

"This thing you're doing to Picard, it's how you're hoping to find... love in your life?"

Of course, she doesn't get it.

Q is not trying to do anything for himself. He's talking about sacrificing his life for love, and experiencing that redemptive love simply through the act of saving Picard:

He's not expecting to gain anything in return. That's not what this is about.

All he is doing, he is doing for Picard, who has "made his life worthwhile", brought meaning to his life just by existing.

(We'll come back to that.)

Child of the universe

Before we can get back to Q, we have to take a detour through episode 2.7 for a second. Again. (You can pry this episode from my cold, dead hands.)

Near the end of the therapy session, when Estonia tries to comfort baby!Picard, she tells him:

"You do so much with this pain. You save worlds with it."

Her words are the same kind of platitudes -- world-saving aside -- every abuse survivor has heard a million times, and you can see they're not even registering:

At no point does the boy even turn to her. While she kneels next to him in the warm light, he remains bathed in cold white light, as though they aren't even in the same scene.

And emotionally, they're not. She fails, utterly and completely, to comfort him. She means well, but that's not at all what he needs to hear.

This little baby!Picard, waiting alone and forlorn by the door, doesn't need to know that his pain will help others. Because what he will take from this is that his pain was necessary.

That he doesn't come first. What does?

Picard has internalized this so deeply already, it's etched into the very lines of his being. It's heartbreaking.

I'm reminded of a poem by Max Ehrmann, Desiderata:

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here.

This is Q's final lesson: you have a right to be here, to be happy, to be loved -- for everything you are.

Because Picard definitely doesn't know that. Deep down, he fears he must constantly earn his place. And if that means pretending to be perfect, keeping all the darkness, all the wildness behind the door, well -- so be it. Happiness is the cost he has to pay for existing.

Duty comes first, because he doesn't.

And then, Q.

Q, immortal and omnipotent, who tells him instead, with everything but words:

You come first, to me.

You matter above all others, to me.

I don't need your pain; in fact, I'll bear it for you.

No wonder Jean-Luc can't accept Q's love. No wonder he's running away from it.

It's everything he wants, and everything he denies himself, because he thinks he doesn't deserve it.

A dying sun

Back to Q -- remember how @celestialwarzone wrote about him being the sun?

Oh boy, was she right.

Now, I must reveal myself as a literature nerd and present to you the poet Dante Alighieri. In 1295, he wrote Vita nuova (New Life), a poem which deals with the transformative nature of love.

It doesn't matter if love is returned or never acted upon. The very act of loving someone is enough to purify, to transcend.

Later, Dante would go on to write the Divine Comedy, and here's the very last line of the last book:

“Love, that moves the sun and the other stars.”

Love, Dante tells us, is central to all of existence. It is the highest power in life. It drives the universe.

And there you have it...

Q is the sun, moved by love.

He even goes ahead and spells out the comparison for us:

And like a sun, Q is alone in the darkness. After aeons of life, the loneliness of it has become unbearable, until the very thought of death starts to become a relief:

"So I thought to myself: This is good. This is new. Infinite life, after all, has its drawbacks."

What's the title of this week's episode you ask? "Mercy".

(More brick-like subtlety. I don't know what else to tell you.)

Q is not the first to feel this way. In an episode of Voyager, we meet Quinn, another Q, who wants to kill himself, arguing that his life has lost all meaning:

"For us, the disease is immortality."

Reluctant at first, Q ultimately helps him end his life, and tells Captain Janeway he learned something about himself in the process.

And now, Q finds himself facing the same troubles as his old friend: a desperate search for meaning.

Quinn found his own meaning by dying, and so Q naturally wonders if he is meant to follow in his friend's footsteps.

But to his dismay, although he can see death approaching, he's not found anything meaningful about it:

"And so I prepared myself to be envelopped in the warm glow of meaning. Well, that moment has yet to come. Not even a glimmer."

That's because death isn't his answer.

Q has something Quinn didn't: his love for Picard. And just like in Dante's Vita Nova, this love, transformative and transcendental, is what will ultimately bring meaning to his life.

Not death, although he may have to walk its dark path to get his happy ending.

But it's plain as day: Q and Picard are kindred spirits. They need each other, and each other's love, desperately.

If only Picard would open the door...

Wake up, Picard

Guinan tells Picard what she has found out, and Picard... barely reacts.

(PICARD YOU MUPPET)

At first, this really annoyed me. But then I remembered: all this is happening because Picard is cut off from his emotions.

We got a glimpse of this disconnect when Elnor died and Picard (who does care about him a great deal) barely showed any emotion, to Raffi's fury.

And he hasn't realized yet that Q is dying for him. Out of love for him. But even if he did, he wouldn't be able to accept Q's love, because he doesn't love himself. He's not ready.

Picard can't deal with it, any of it. So he just doesn't.

(Now I'm both annoyed at Picard and feeling pity for him. Great.)

Still, this confirms @celestialwarzone's and my suspicions that only witnessing Q's actual death will wake Picard up. But by then, it may very well be too late...

Q, the mad genius

Remember how I compared Q to Cassandra yesterday?

There you have it: just like the prophetess Cassandra, cursed by Apollo to utter truths and not be believed, Q is called crazy for telling Picard and Guinan exactly what is happening and why.

Seriously, you guys don't deserve him right now.

(As an aside, I can't resist gloating a tiny bit at yet another proof of Q's brilliance, even when bereft of his powers.

We had speculated with @celestialwarzone that Q may be in custody in this episode, as clearly the narrative required him to meet Guinan.

But no: Q has infiltrated the FBI instead!

My skin is clear, my crops are watered, Q is a genius and he looks damn good wearing that FBI windbreaker.

Also, it seems Q had to infiltrate the FBI specifically to answer Guinan's Summoning:

"You summoned me?" "You must be Q. Took your damn time. (...) "Why do you think it took me so long to get here?"

I did not see that coming, and it's bloody hilarious. Imagine how grumpy he must have been about the whole thing!)

There's no trap

Moving ahead with Guinan and Q's conversation, Q confirmed another of my theories:

"It's the escape that count."

Picard is stuck. They're all stuck. But the real issue isn't in the past: it's on the Stargazer, with the Borg Queen.

As Guinan asks Q why he brought Picard to the past, Q replies, offended:

I did not bring him to the past. He did that on his own!

The trap, if there is one, is of Picard's own making. The trap is immaterial, because Picard takes his trauma with him wherever he goes. What matters is the escape:

"...even if it's painful. You do the work, because you want to evolve."

I wrote yesterday that Picard needs to reconcile his logic and his emotions in order to get past his trauma and confront his fear.

Only then will he be able to escape and move on.

Progress, maybe

Escape is definitely one of the themes of the episode: Guinan and Picard spend the whole episode in custody, literally trapped, only able to escape when they help FBI!Guy resolve his childhood trauma.

Subtle.

(By the way, surprise! FBI!Guy is exactly who he appears to be, not an agent from the DTI. They're simply played by the same actor. Oops.)

Anyway, FBI!Guy is obsessed with finding proof of alien life, after encountering Vulcans as a child and thinking them hostile.

Childhood trauma mirroring, coming right up.

In the end, Picard helps FBI!Guy understand that the Vulcan he encountered "wasn't a monster" and "wasn't trying to kill [him]". In fact, he was trying to help.

(Look, ma, more mirroring!)

So Picard tells FBI!Guy the truth about what happened to him, and who Picard is, what he has to do. And FBI!Guy lets them go.

Let me rephrase: the truth literally sets Picard free.

Very subtle.

And the clincher? It's Q, through Guinan, who gives Picard the key:

"Humans. They're all trapped in the past."

(They really don't deserve you, Q.)

Still, it's progress: Picard used the lesson he has learned, even if he's not yet ready to apply it to Q. That's something, at least.

Plot! I see plot!

Yes! Finally! We're seeing some movement on the plot front. Not a lot, but still more than last week.

With only two episodes left, I'm wondering how they will ever manage to resolve all the current plot points... maybe in season 3.

Anyway, this post is already way too long, so stay tuned for post 2/2, which will cover the following:

Soong vs. Q -- yet another mirror, darkly

Queen Agnes prepares for war

More mirroring: Raffi and Picard

Rios is in love

And more (probably)

Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading. ❤️

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[Forward to part 2] [Forward to part 3]