#(me: ah yeah.. right. haha. :) rip)

[offdxty]

Seeing Arthur cry feels like being ripped apart, as if someone, or something, digs its claws straight into Kane's chest and pulls - pulls, pulls, pulls until bone separate and muscles tear, until a beating heart is exposed and defenseless, ready to be taken and squished.

It feels devastating, it feels like something Kane wants to fix - and yet all Kane does for a very long time is to... watch, again. He just turns his head as much as needed to have his shimmering eyes rest on the man's form, taking in the sight of a body fighting so hard against what must hurt him to the very core---

Kane watches knuckles turning white, eyes being squeezed shut, tears running across cheeks in the very same way as they do for Kane himself. He listens to every word that is spoken - to questions that seem to be made of the most primal needs and fears, showing a side that Kane hasn't really seen of the man before who'd always appeared so strong, so... collected.

They hit him, straight into the chest. Everything does. Everything sinks deep, collects there, has Kane swallow as his brows furrow as the need to try and help, to make it better, becomes unbearable; He cannot take away what pains the man, however. Cannot go back in time and tell him that he's doing everything he can, that it isn't his fault for his loved ones to have died.

He tried, and he'd failed. As much as Kane had wanted to reach Arthur, attempting to make him understand that, despite all of it, he is still worth being alive, being a someone who can make decisions, change an outcome...

---He's only created more hurt. He didn't want to do that.

He's... seeing it now. He understands new points of view, new perspectives.

A bottom lip is sucked between teeth, a set of colorful eyes falling closed as moments of heavy breathing pass, of emotions that turn the air surrounding them amost too thick to be breathabe.

Why would I want to live without you?

A heart misses a beat, another tear falls across a cheek. Why would I want to live without you? It's perhaps the most intense thing that has been said to Kane so far; It shouldn't matter, with Arthur claiming that he does not care, that he's only here to study him...

And yet, these words are voiced out in such a pained way, so real and raw.

Why would I want to live without you? How would that be living?

Kane wants this to be personal. God, listening to it, he feels his heart getting carved out while also growing with all the warmth it receives; The fact that Arthur phrases it this way almost feels like he truly means Kane as a person, talks about him, not just anyone...

It could still be meant in a much more general way, however - with the doctor not knowing how he is supposed to exist when he's losing another person he's been talking to, another living being that he had once interacted with. He'd lost the daughter of his husband, he'd lost the husband himself, and he'd lost a man long before that - a previous partner, a love interest.

Kane could just be another one down the line.

...But it feels... it feels nice to take it personal. In a way he cannot quite explain - and perhaps feels a bit guilty over - Kane likes it, to know that there could be so much thought being connected to him already that his absence, his death, would have such an effect on a man who is only doing his job.

Who claims to not care, and yet here he is.

And Kane blinks his eyes back open, watches, looks, stares, takes in the sight - face reddened from the strain of emotions that sit so tight inside his chest, cheeks and lips wet with tears, shimmering eyes rimmed in a very similar way.

He could say so much. Should say so much, perhaps. Maybe he should say nothing at all, because Arthur demands this topic to be done - to not be continued, to be forgotten about, possibly. Perhaps Kane shouldn't even do anything - shouldn't move, shouldn't act, shouldn't offer anything here and just... turn away and around, accept it, offer the man his demanded peace and quiet.

... But Kane is... he is Kane. Whether this is what the original Kane would have done, he doesn't know - but he knows what he is wanting to do, and that is to reach out.

So he does.

A warm hand is what moves first, putting itself on top of the one holding the cane with so much force; A thumb begins to rub gentle circles into those sore knuckles, tense skin, taut muscles - slow and kind, one circle after another, allowing warmth to soak into the skin.

And then, he leans in. The whole of him does.

Kane has to turn his torso a bit awkwardly for it to work, but he doesn't care, ignores the sting in his side. He moves both arms once more, wraps them around a pair of sturdy shoulders, allowing his chin to come to a rest against a shoulder; Holding on, his embrace tight yet careful, meant to be felt, with his fingers splaying on the other's back...

You think I want to survive another person?

"You've been so strong." A warm voice, soft and tender, mumbled against the shape of said shoulder, into the fabric of a shirt with an equally as warm breath, an exhale, bright eyes that stare straight ahead without really looking.

Kane feels instead.

Not watching, not taking in the sight, not observing... Feeling instead.Experiencing.Acting.

"You did everything you could, Arthur. You did everything you could, you tried so hard. It's not fair that things happened the way they did... but you were there for them. They weren't alone."

Just like the other Kane wasn't alone when he died. Where Kane had just watched, hates himself for not having done anything, he had at least given the other company.

That's what Arthur had said himself, not too long ago.

...Maybe, just maybe, being a something for once... would take pressure off of the other. As much as Kane hates the thought, as much as it slices his heart open and serves it on a silver platter... maybe it's best if the other doesn't try.

If he just watches. If he doesn't feel the need to jump in. ...If he doesn't watch at all. If he can be somewhere else when it happens.

It's the opposite of what Kane had said earlier, and he knows. It's contradicting itself - his previous attempt to make the doctor act instead of giving up on himself, on someone else, before he can even know whether he'll be successful or not.

Being alive... it means a lot of things, it seems. It can't be right or wrong all the time. It can't be black and white. Sometimes it is gray, perhaps - in a lot of ways.

A swallow. A deep inhale of air, of a scent he's grown to used to, one that brings Kane comfort.

"You're right, it won't change anything. I have a lot to learn still, perhaps I won't be able to learn it all - I don't know. But I now know that I shouldn't have said what I said - I shouldn't have asked you to... do something that is a lot bigger, and much more impactful, than I can comprehend. I was wrong."

A hand that moves away from that back, trails up to a neck instead. Cups it in a ginger hold, fingers to a hairline.

"You're alive either way. You've seen so much. Made many decisions. This is another decision you're making - it's part of being human. Please forgive me for having ..."

Eyes squeezing shut.

"... Put strain on this. On us. On you. I will try to learn until the end. Maybe I can make up for it then - maybe I'm wise enough to see, and to apologize once again in a more... profound way."

Arthur inhaled slowly, letting the breath sit in his lungs before he slowly released it back into the world. He sat there, very still, as if moving might make something worse; his hands were still resting on the handle of his cane, but he had stopped pressing his thumb so harshly into the handle. 

Breathe in. Hold it for two. Exhale. 

He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t hurt, he was… he was something else entirely. He was trying not to fall apart, after Kane had practically sliced him in two. Arthur never fell apart in front of others, he never had - even when dating, even when living with someone else, he had never allowed himself to crumble. 

Kane’s words weren’t in the air, anymore. They had sunk into Arthur, far too deeply; they filled his throat, shoved his lungs out of place - and he didn’t know how to force himself back open. 

He never did. 

He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Kane, not right away - because yes. Yes, he’d been there. Yes, he’d broken protocol. Yes, he’d stayed longer than he should have, he’d touched more than he should, he’d cared more than he was allowed to. More than he wanted to. He’d crossed every line, both the ones drawn for him and the ones he’d drawn himself - and he’d done it willingly. 

Why? Because Kane had been in pain. Because he’d looked at Arthur like he was safe - because Arthur had chosen to be safe. Because he’d chosen to protect Kane for these few days, because he wanted Kane to be comfortable before he passed. 

Because he’d decided, for some reason, that that mattered. 

He inhaled again. He held his breath, as if it could buy him more time to keep himself together. He couldn’t fall apart in front of the other; he couldn’t fall apart in front of anyone, but especially not Kane. Not when Kane was bleeding out in front of him, open and vulnerable and far too innocent. 

Arthur opened his mouth. He closed it again. 

More silence passed. 

“… That’s not fair.” The words were clipped when they finally came; formal. Not cold, not clinical, but more like he was defaulting to a mode of speech that kept him feeling somewhere safe. 

Somewhere detached. 

“I didn’t ask for your hope. I don’t want it. I don’t want you to believe in me, and you shouldn’t believe in me.”

His jaw flexed. He looked away; he didn’t want to look at Kane. He didn’t want to even look in the direction of the man; he didn’t want to be here with him. He wanted to leave.

But then what? Then Six would come back? Someone else would come in? Arthur would be accused once more of being too emotional? 

His body was still. His posture was rigid.

Inside, he was screaming. 

He wanted everything Kane was saying - of course he did. He wanted to be the one who saved Kane. He wanted to grab him, to pull him out of here - he wanted to take Kane somewhere that he could be safe and happy, he wanted to take him out and ‘forget’ to keep an eye on him - but then what? What if it didn’t go that way? 

What if he opened his hands to catch Kane when he fell, and came up with nothing? What if this ended with him clutching the body of someone he loved? 

He’d done that before. 

He could see her face - the way her arms were so small, almost always dirtied from playing outside. Her voice. Her laugh. The way she had looked at him wary, and then trusting. 

He could see her eyes half-open, her face so still, in a position that no one deserved to spend eternal rest in just because he couldn’t look at her long enough to fix it. 

He could see his partner. Silent. Just as empty-eyed. Buried better, solely because of the grief of burying her improperly. Arthur had grown. Adjusted. He'd become comfortable with death after losing her, gaining the ability to arrange his body.

He could see Kane. Wary at first, just like she had been. Now, it was trusting.

Just like she had been. 

His thumb was pressing so hard into the cane that he could feel the bones in his wrist shifting under the pressure. He needed it - he needed something. 

Every time he tried to care, someone died. And every time they did, a part of him died with them. Did he have anything else to give? Was there any part of himself that was still genuine to him? 

It wasn’t avoidable, though. He cared for Kane. He loved Kane. Kane was going to die. Those were facts - and Kane was right. Denial wouldn’t help him. Trying would at least be something - it would mean that Arthur wouldn’t have to deal with regret on top of everything else. 

Arthur didn’t think it’d matter, though. He didn’t know if there would be enough of him left to even feel guilt. 

He’d doomed himself, the moment he’d decided that Kane wasn’t a thing. 

His eyes were hot, wet, in a way they almost never were. He blinked carefully, to not let any of his tears fall; he could feel that weight in his chest only getting worse, getting heavier, too big now to handle. He swallowed thickly to try to push it down, but it wouldn’t budge; it only pushed harder, strangling him, choking him. 

“I don’t want to see you die.” HIs voice was softer, broken. God, he didn’t want to see Kane die. But that was where it was going, wasn’t it? He’d already lost Kane. Kane was going to die, and Arthur was going to die with him. Even if his body stayed moving, nothing else would stay living. 

His voice didn’t rise. His breath caught again; “I don’t want to see you die.” It was repeated, softer this time - childlike, as if saying it again might somehow undo it. He couldn’t undo it, he knew; Kane was going to die. 

Kane was going to die. 

He was certain that if he tried to speak more, the tears in his eyes would fall; so he waited. Kane would die. Arthur would live. That was how it went, how it always went; Arthur would carry it. He would survive. 

His hand flexed against the handle. They’d tranquilize Kane. They’d cut him open, they’d call it humane. Arthur would be gone. He’d be back at home, out of this damned place, and he’d just sit somewhere, knowing that he was alive when Kane wasn’t. 

He felt sick. He hated how the drug made his mind spiral, how he could visualize it all so clearly. He had seen dead bodies. It didn’t take much to imagine Kane in one of their places; he felt sick. He could imagine the dead look in the man’s eyes, he could imagine the cold feeling of his body. He could imagine how quickly he’d stiffen, the smell, the silence - all of it. All of it was too easy to imagine. 

He felt sick. 

Arthur’s jaw twitched, shooting a familiar pain up near his eye. He covered it as well as he always did, but the tears in his eyes fell as he closed them; he kept his head turned away, didn’t yet move to wipe them, as if that could keep them hidden. 

You could live for both of us, Kane had said. 

Arthur hated how hopeful it sounded. He hated that Kane meant it, he hated that it almost made sense; he swallowed again, but it didn’t quite work, his throat tight and aching. 

He turned his head, finally, to look at the other. Tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, his chest aching from holding in every goddamned thing that was trapped inside of him. It was unbearable. It tore him up from the inside - and yet he held it anyways. 

“Why would I want to live without you?” The words weren’t rhetorical. They weren’t angered, they weren’t cruel - they were gutted. Empty in the way of a man who had lost too many, and couldn’t bear to lose another. 

His throat ached, still. He swallowed hard, but the tears didn’t stop.

He felt sick. 

“How would that be living?” he continued, his voice hoarse, frayed. “You think I want to survive another person? You think I want to spend the next twenty years writing reports and pretending I didn’t see them cut you open like-“ 

His voice cut off by force, Arthur shutting his eyes and looking away once more. He rested his chin on the heel of his hand, pushing his thumb too hard against his teeth; he liked the pain from it. He liked the pain that burned behind his eye, he liked the pain in his leg.

Distractions, and beautiful ones at that. The question still burned, however:

How was he supposed to live for Kane, when he couldn’t even live for himself? 

Arthur shook his head, stayed looking away. “If you die, then I don’t want to be here. I don’t care what you think I deserve - I didn’t ask to be alive.” I don’t want to be.

As if he could explain survivor’s guilt to Kane. 

As if he could explain that there wasn’t a way to ‘save’ Kane, because he was already grieving him. 

His eyes stayed wet. His face stayed away, his thumb stayed pushing hard against his teeth. He didn’t want to live without Kane - but he also didn’t want this conversation. He didn’t want to think about his family, he didn’t want to think about death, or about Kane dying - he didn’t want to be told that he was lucky to have life, that he needed to exist and be happy that he could. 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” he said, bluntly. Firm. “It won’t change anything, Kane.” 

[winteryreads]

the kitten incident- dr. ratio x reader

synopsis: the four times you tried convincing Veritas to get a kitten, and the one time he gifted you… an “unexpected” surprise. 

warnings: ummm pacing, my kinda bad (read: beginner/novice) writing, pls be nice to me. bad (/non existent) characterization of Ratio! other than that, none! this is disgustingly fluffy haha! 

word count: ~1.3k (idk dude i stopped counting after 1010 words)

tagging: @sqgeism, @vyyper, @your-sleeparalysisdem0n (since you eat up all of my writing), @fairycourts (would like to know what you think of this!), @m1ckeyb3rry, @sheyfu, and @cmiru!

author’s note: my first attempt at writing a full-length fic! don’t expect this to happen much from me, haha (unless requested ofc!)! this is a birthday gift to myself, so this is very self-indulgent! for reference, you have a best friend in this story named Ares! she’s amazing and based off of my real life bestie! hope you enjoy; worked very hard on this! <3

a… very convincing car ride home.

after a date at a cat café, Veritas was regretting taking you out anywhere. you would not stop talking about getting a kitten. his internal monologue was filled with thoughts about you shutting up. he wouldn’t voice hurtful thoughts to you, of course, but if you could shut up, that’d be great.

“Veritas?”

“yes, (name)?”

“can we please get a kitten?” 

Veritas glanced at you before returning his eyes to the road. 

“I’ll consider it if you keep your mouth shut the rest of the drive home.” 

you were as quiet as a mouse for the rest of the drive, much to Veritas’s enjoyment. you both made your way to your shared apartment. Veritas led you both into the apartment, where he was slightly surprised to see how quiet you still were. that lasted five minutes- oh, off you went rambling about getting a kitten again. ah well, surely this is a phase that will pass? it’s like when children beg their parents to get a pet and they won’t drop the topic until they get what they wanted. surely this won’t be the same situation with you, right? 

oh well, only one way to find out.

a quiet chat over dinner.

after arriving home after the initial conversation, you and Veritas decided to prepare a light snack to go along with dinner. your routine with Veritas when it came to meals was simple: you prepare any snacks you both wanted, and he would prepare dinner. you set a bowl of fruits and other snacks on the table while your partner finishes preparing the meal before joining you at the table. for once, he initiates the conversation. 

“are you still thinking about a kitten?” 

“yeah, why do you ask?” 

Veritas sighed and you smiled- there was just no winning when it comes to him, is there?

“hypothetically speaking, if we were to be adopting a kitten- don’t get your hopes up- what breed are you most looking into?” 

your eyebrows raised. what a hypothetical. but answering honestly seems to be the only way to answer. 

“probably a calico or a tortoiseshell. my childhood friend had the latter and she was very sweet. plus i have experience with cats, so it’s not like i’m picking a breed i couldn’t handle.” 

Veritas hummed, slightly amused with your statement. he made a mental note for when he goes to the animal shelter next weekend while you’re away. 

”bothering” him while he works in your home office. 

to say you bothered your lover is an overstatement… probably! Dr. Ratio shows his love to you in his own ways. they may not be the most conventional of ways, but they are ways! you put in love in the relationship, too, more upfront in a way, with him. you’re both happy, healthy, and for the most part- content, with how things are. until the damn kitten talk comes up again, and that makes your partner want to rip his hair out (lovingly). it’s not that he dislikes animals, he seems to be very neutral towards them, while you’re definitely the animal magnet between the two of you. Dr. Ratio loves you, he really does! but if he hears about this damn kitten one more time, he might combust, mentally… maybe! you can’t help it if you want something, you just HAVE to tell everyone everything about said thing! it’s human nature, or something!

so here you are, sitting in your lover’s office in your reading nook while he quietly works on grading his students’ essays or whatever- you stopped listening a while ago, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) for him. you were reading a book, he was working, and all seemed well with the world. at least, he thought so. he heard you shuffle your way out of your nook over to his desk. you just stood next to him and watched as he wrote (surprisingly nice handwriting for a “doctor”) some comments on a student’s essay. he could tell you were waiting for when he wouldn’t be as busy, and he was glad you had that courtesy, if nothing else. so when he input the student’s grade and set the paper essay to the side, he sighed and looked up at you. 

“if it’s about a kitten, could the conversation wait until after we bathe?” 

and the shine in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

overhearing you on a call with your friend (and the aftermath). 

your best friend, Ares, has risen from the dead, hooray! but in all seriousness, she had been so busy with her job that she hadn’t gotten in touch with you in what felt like FOREVER. you’re listening to Ares talk about her job, books, and a whole bunch of other things. and then the call goes pretty quiet on your side, just long enough to be noticed by your friend.

“oh yeah,” she pipes up after a few minutes of silence on your end, “how’s the cat debacle going? has he come around?” 

“he told me he’s thinking about it, but it was kind weird the other day! he asked a hypothetical question that did not sound like a hypothetical at all.”

“well, what’d he say?” 

“he said, and I quote, ahem, ‘hypothetically speaking, if we were to be adopting a kitten- don’t get your hopes up- what breed are you most looking into?’ i don’t know, Jade, it just seemed… off. like i should be expecting something, and i’m not, if that makes sense.” you answered.

“girl, how the hell did you remember what he said verbatim? anyway! that totally makes sense! maybe he’s planning a surprise for you and can barely keep the secret together.” she smiled at you through the screen. 

you replied a quick “yeah, maybe” before realizing Veritas was just outside the door to your shared bedroom, overhearing your conversation. he waits for your conversation to end before coming in the room. but before he enters, he quickly shoots a message to Ares herself: “do they know?” and he gets almost excited when Ares texts back almost immediately, “no, but i almost accidentally spilled what’s going on. you NEED to tell them soon! good luck!” 

that was suddenly all of the confirmation the astute doctor needed. 

the kitten incident (a good one, i promise!)! 

Veritas greeted you in your shared home, which was odd. he always came home after you, so it was mildly strange he was waiting for you. but you paid this slight change no mind- maybe he just wanted to spend time with you and got his things done early. he greeted you from the kitchen. you made your way over to him. 

“hi, love. how was your day?”

“oh my god! today was sooo long!” you reply as you cling to his waist. Veritas hums and puts a hand on one of your forearms and rubs little circles into the flesh. he finishes preparing a light snack for himself since you already ate dinner with some friends an hour ago. you moved away from him as he took your hand, which got your attention.

“come see, i have a surprise for you.”

“oh god, what did i do?” 

Veritas lets out a light chuckle. 

“i can’t spoil my significant other without them thinking they did something wrong? i’m hurt, (name).”

you laughed as he set his snack down on the counter and led you to the living room where a small box was sitting on the coffee table. 

“here, open it.” he handed the box to you carefully. you looked at him skeptically before sitting on the sofa and opening the box. inside the box was a tiny calico kitten, the one you had been talking about visiting for at least two weeks now. she was so tiny, most likely the runt of her litter, and you kept telling Veritas how much you liked her. you were devastated when you found out she was adopted. you gently picked the sleeping kitten up from the box, and she opened her eyes, and then proceeded to let out the tiniest and most polite meow you’ve ever heard. you looked to Veritas and then the kitten back and forth about five times as he laughed and nudged your shoulder.

“look at her collar.”

you looked at the tag on her collar and your breath hitched. marry me, the tag read. as you turn to face your lover, you find him sitting next to you with a ring box in hand, proposing to you out of the blue, with the faintest hint of a smile on his face. 

©2025 strawbairicake. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.

[peacheeeliz]

002. i love ur brother too (wc: 469)

Mark sits at the table patiently, tapping his fingers along the wood to create a soothing tune. He stares out the windows of the study room, watching as students pass by with various stacks of books in their arms. He looks back down at his phone, letting out a sigh when he doesn't see any new messages. All that showed up were messages from the group chat, both Julie and Hyuck wishing him good luck. He looks at those messages with a frown, as you were nowhere to be seen despite your agreement to meet him.

He's about to start packing up his things before the sound of the door opening rips him from his sorrowful thoughts. He turns back to see you, panting as you go to take a seat at the table as well. “Sorry, I forgot my class was all the way across campus,” you start, taking in just how empty the table was. “Hope I'm not too late.”

“Ah, no worries,” he tells you, standing up to pull out a chair for you. But you've already sat down beside him before he has the chance. He sits back down with a bright smile, “looks like everyone's running a bit behind today, but that's fine. We can just get started without them.”

“Oh, I actually invited Allen to join us today,” you respond, watching his eyes widen for a moment before he sports another smile. “He shouldn't be too far behind me.”

“Oh? Allen?” He questions, receiving a small nod in response. He watches as you nonchalantly begin to unpack your things, “yeah, the more the merrier, you know?”

“Perfect, you're the best,” you tease, softly smiling at him.

Shortly after, Allen walks through the door with a pleasant smile playing on his lips. He waves excitedly to his classmates, pulling up a chair to sit right in between the two. Mark struggles to silently take a deep breath, catching your eye. You can't help but smile before turning back to Allen.

“Jesus, you'd think people would know how to walk the halls in college,” the man complains, huffing and puffing as he pulled out his notebooks and textbook. “Since kindergarten, we've been walking on the right. The right.”

“Haha, yeah,” Mark lets out, nodding along to what he was saying. He watches as the two of you continue to chat it up, acting like he wasn't sitting right next to you guys. “Actually, I need to step out real quick to use the restroom,” he tells the two, standing up abruptly. “You two see where we should start.”

You both nod, “Alright.” You say, smiling sweetly at him. You watch intently as he walks out of the room, almost walking into the door on his way out. You stifle a laugh, turning back to Allen.

synopsis ⤏ mark, desperate to talk to the cute girl in his japanese class, forms a study group. who knew that other struggling college students might want to join a study group?

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[rain0tes]

Hi hi love your hacker reader a bit too much it's great!! What would be their reaction to sir pentious trying to join the hotel? And the little eggbois once he starts staying there for real?

Hacker!reader's reaction to Sir Pentious trying to join the hotel.

Hacker!reader actually comes in after the heaven vs. hell battle, when Pentious has already been redeemed. This is an alternate scenario where you've been in the hotel a few weeks before Pentious makes an appearance.

Warnings: mature language and jokes, mentions of violence (although nothing too explicit), all the obvious hazbin stuff

You've been at the Hazbin Hotel for a few weeks. Although not fully convinced by the idea of redemption, having a roof over your head while easing into your new life (or afterlife) was nice.

You find a friend in most of the other wayward souls in the hotel, especially Charlie, who was more than excited when you show up.

The actual story starts when Pentious comes crashing into the hotel the first time. Literally.

You were having tea with Alastor out on the balcony when you feel the ground below yourself shake.

"Show yourself, Alastor."

That earns the radio demon a side eye from you, which he only shrugs at.

You see the others go outside in your peripheral, wanting to check out what the commotion was about. You shrug and head down as well, actually using the stairs since not everyone can just warp through shadows.

You stand beside Alastor, squinting at the giant blimp as they conversed.

"When I've slain you, the almighty Vee's will finally acknowledge me as their equal."

"Ooh! Wait, who are the Vee's?"

"Aren't they that tacky trio with the crap network security?"

"They're no one important."

One beating later, Pentious is on the ground after Alastor has decimated his war-blimp...thing.

"Thanks for another forgettable experience."

"Thank...you...for letting your guard down! Haha!"

Pentious rips off a part of Alastors suit, causing you to physically wince.

"Ah, you shouldn't have done that."

You can't help but chuckle when you see him get sent flying.

"Looks like team rockets blasting off again."

You expected that to be the last time you'll be seeing of him (at least in a while), but it seems that fate has other plans when someone comes knocking on the hotels doors only six hours later.

Vaggie was the one to answer, and he almost got skewered upon sight. Charlie seemed excited that he showed up, tho, and somehow you're not surprised.

"Are you fucking nuts? This chump was trying to kill us like, literally six hours ago?"

"Yeah, exactly, are you seriously gonna let this pathetic loser live with us?"

They did, IN FACT, let the boyfailure in the hotel. You weren't too happy about it, and neither was angeldust (bonding through a common enemy).

You can't help but feel that something was odd about him, sensing an electrical device on him that was certainly not a phone. You remained quiet for the time being, if only to please Charlie by playing along with her activities (even if they did make you cringe just a tiny little bit).

You watch him slither sometime in the middle of the night, prompting you to follow him as you take a sip out of a monster energy can.

"A camera? Wow, that's pretty cheap. Certainly doesn't help my already low expectations of the Vee's"

Yeah, you caught him in the act when he was placing the camera. Angeldust already behind you, confronting Pentious while you pick up the device.

You take a screwdriver out of your pocket, disabling the thing but not damaging it, all while the two fight beside you.

Pentious immediately calls for backup once he's been outed to Vaggie and Charlie, only for Vox to laugh in his face.

"If they don't kill you, go ahead and do it yourself you miserable failure."

You immediately snatch the smartwatch. He may be right, Pentious certainly was a failure. But you've already decided that you're the only one who gets to insult him.

"Listen here, you musty little bitch. You either shut the fuck up or I do it for you."

He's tearing up as you throw the meanest sentences he's ever heard to Vox. Some of them even sound poetic to some degree.

"Two thousand years of constant human evolution only to make some simple minded cunt."

Immediately refers to you as his best friend after this. You waged war on an overlord of hell for him. There's no take backsies.

For once, there's someone in the hotel who's not actively looking out for you, but you're the one looking out for him instead.

You two would share ideas ALL the time.

One thing you'd accomplish together is making a clone of you. He made the android, you made the A.I it would run on.

"Would it technically be mastur-"

"Don't you dare continue that sentence."

The main difference is that the Vee's know who you are in this one. Actively waging war against them instead of remaining anonymous. All because you've decided that the weird boyloser snake is actually kind of endearing.

I might make another part to this one where the reader participates in the hell vs heaven battle.

(masterlist)

[sanderssidesthehouse]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64883719

for @dukexietyweek prompt AU.

I Think You've Got A Wicked Smile

“My stupid brother has a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus stormed into Virgil's room and threw his backpack on the ground. “And?” It had startled Virgil the first few times this had happened, but being friends with Remus meant you got used to it. “That means I need a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus then threw himself backwards onto the unoccupied part of Virgil's bed. Virgil could try to argue that the logic didn’t follow, but once Remus had an idea in his head, it tended to stay there, and he’d rather save the energy. “... Welp, good luck with that.”

“Virgilllllll.” “I'm busy.” “I didn't even tell you what day it is.” “So what day is it?” “This Saturday.” “Yep, I'm all booked up.” “You aren't either. Your one friend who isn't me will be out of town and you don't do anything unless we drag you out.” “Exactly. I have to get in my scheduled nothing time.” “I'm gonna tell your mom.” “Nooooo. She'll make me go,” Virgil whined. “Perfect!” “Ugh, fine, just don't tell her, she'll make it a whole thing… Wait, I don't have anything to wear.” “Just wear clothes. They won't expect much from my date.” “Remus, I can't go to a wedding in ripped jeans and combat boots.” “Says who?” “Says me. Besides, my mom would kill me.” “Hmm… Yeah. You can borrow some of my clothes.” “Remus we are not the same size.” “Ugh, you're making this so difficult. Can I bring your mom instead?” “No.” “Fine, fine. I'll take you shopping or whatever. Mall's still open for a few more hours, right?” “Gram is rolling in her grave, but yes.” “Cool! Let’s go!”

-

“Remus, I can’t wear this!” “Aw c’mon, just show me how it looks,” Remus called back through the door of the stall Virgil was changing in. “I look like a prep.” “You’re the one who wanted to dress up!” “It’s just so… I can’t wear this.” “You’ve said that about the last seven outfits. Just show me. You know me, I’ll tell you if it looks bad.” Virgil huffed. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” “I’ll consider myself warned.”

Remus could hear the door unlock and waited patiently as it took a few more seconds for Virgil to open it. When his friend finally presented himself, Remus was shocked, not because it was ugly, but because… It looked really good on him. The purple vest was the perfect shade to bring out his eyes, and the tie was Remus’s favorite shade of green, not to mention it would match Remus’s vest exactly. He’d have to get a purple tie.

“See? I told you it looked bad. I’ll just-” “Bad? Virgil, I don’t think you’ve ever looked hotter.” Virgil squeaked. “Not that I don’t dig your whole emo aesthetic, it really suits you, and the holes in your ripped jeans make me want to grab your thighs, but this… This looks good.”

Remus realized a few moments too late that he might have overdone it if Virgil’s fire engine red face and lack of breathing was anything to go by.

“Um, I just mean, it’s um, you know… You can wear it.”

There was another brief moment before Virgil started laughing so hard he had to lean on the doorframe for support. Remus always thought Virgil was so pretty when he laughed. It brought a light blush that his pale face so desperately needed and the crinkles around his eyes reminded Remus of a flaky pastry. It might be an odd descriptor, but he really did like flaky pastries.

“Ok, ok, I’ll wear it, jeez,” Virgil got out between chuckles. “You’re something else, Rem.” “Oh, ah, haha,” Remus managed. He could feel his face having warmed and his tongue being tied. “Just give me a second, I’ll change back and we can get out of here. You want to go to the arcade?” “Yeah, sure.” “Cool.”

Virgil closed the door.

Remus was so fucked.

-

The school bell rang, signalling it was time to get to home room. Ugh. At least Janus would be there with him.

“Hey, Virge. I heard you got a hot date this weekend.”

Or maybe Janus being there wasn’t such a blessing.

“It’s not a date.” “Of course not,” Janus said in a tone that meant he didn’t believe it and wanted Virgil to know that despite humoring him. “You’re the worst.” “And you love me for it.” Virgil sighed. “Just don’t tell anyone. Remus wants it to be a surprise, and honestly I think it’ll be really funny to see the look on Prince Preppy’s face.” “Who, me? Tell a secret? I would never.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and Janus hissed out a laugh.

“Alright, alright, but I would never tell your secrets. Have fun on your not date. Try not to let Remus burst a blood vessel restraining himself?” “From what?” “Well he’ll either die or you’ll figure it out soon enough.” “I hate when you know things that I don’t.” “I’m surprised you’re not used to it by now.” “Shut up.” “Great retort. You should join the debate club.” “You should join the shutting up.” “... Virgil…” “Admittedly not my best work.”

Their conversation was cut short by the teacher starting role call. What did Janus know about Remus that he didn’t?

-

For the remainder of the week Remus seemed giddy and Janus took every opportunity to snicker at them and then say it was nothing. Jerk.

Part of him was dreading having to go to a wedding for people he didn't know and part of him thought it might not actually be so bad with Remus by his side. It would be interesting at the very least. Hopefully neither of them got arrested or covered in food or crashed into by a malfunctioning plane. That would suck. Maybe he should check the projected flight paths of flights that would be in the area. Before he could though, his phone chimed.

Duke of the Dumpster: here dw i cleaned the front seat mth: kk

Virgil double, triple, and quadruple checked he had everything then crept down the stairs. Hopefully he could dodge his mom and any questions that might come up with his outfit-

“Virgil? Your friend is here.”

No such luck.

“Oh, where are you going so handsome?! So grown up!” She rushed to him and began fussing with his hair and clothes. “Ugh, Mum!” “No angry make up? He must be special.” “H-he?!” “You cannot hide these things from your mother. She knows all. Your Remus, yes? Oh, look, is he matching out there? So sweet!” “He just needed a date to this stupid wedding is all!” “Virgil! That is no way to speak about someone's special day. You know when I got married to your father-” “I know, I know. Mum, we're gonna be late.” “Oh, you cannot be late. Shoo, now! And get many pictures! I will be having a talk with your Remus when you return.” “Mum, it's probably going to be late-” She fixed him a look. “Right, I'll let him know.” “Now go. Go! Have fun! Be safe! Use pro-” “Ok, bye Mum, love you, see you later, bye!” Virgil squirmed past her and rushed out the door bright red. Remus grinned as he got back into his seat and Virgil slid in the passenger side. “You know I think most people only put blush on their cheeks.” “Shut up and start driving. My mum wants to talk to you when we get back.” Remus's eyes went wide and he swallowed. “This is it. She's finally going to kill me.” “She's not going to kill you… Probably.” “Virgil!” “You still want your body buried under the old tree?” “...” Remus sighed. “Yeah…” “Cool. Let's go so we're not late.” “They're lucky I'm showing up at all.” “If you make me late, you won't have to worry about my mom.” “Reading you loud and clear, captain!”

Remus gave a salute and backed out of the driveway. Virgil just rolled his eyes.

The ride was pretty uneventful. They barely even had their typical banter. A nervous energy poured off of Remus which in turn made Virgil nervous. By the time they got there, Virgil was about ready to run a marathon to get it all out. Honestly he would have done some jumping jacks if there weren't a ton of people there already. And if he wasn't wearing something nice.

“So what do we do now?” “We're meeting out back. The ceremony will be outside then we'll go inside for the reception. I think Ro's already here. Wanna go bug him?” “I thought you'd never ask.”

Remus led Virgil around the side of the building an into a garden area with an open gazebo and lots of chairs lining a pathway. It actually wasn’t as big as Virgil had been expecting with the way Remus had been complaining about it. And since there weren’t that many people, at least comparatively, it was pretty easy to spot Roman in his bright red suit. Target acquired.

“I can’t believe he wore that.” “Right? Like I know he likes red, but isn’t that a little much?” “Please tell me he’s going to ditch the jacket for the reception.” “Highly doubtful.” “At least he didn’t wear the sparkly one he wore to homecoming.” “Roman? Wear the same suit twice? Banish the thought,” Remus feigned indignity. Virgil snickered. “Where’s his date?” “Can’t tell, but he’s a bit shorter so he’s harder to spot. Plus he’s not trying to signal to martians that he’s here and abductable. Here, walk behind me so he doesn’t see you yet. This is gonna be great.” “Aye-aye, captain.”

They made their way to the bush Roman was standing by, coming up from behind so Remus could grab his attention when he wanted it.

“Greetings, dear brother!” “Gah- Remus!” Roman huffed as he whipped around. “You have got to stop doing that! I’m going to have a heart attack one of these times.” “Shame that.” Virgil stepped out from behind Remus. “Virgil?!” Virgil grinned and gave a sarcastic salute. “Sup.” Roman glared at his brother. “Oh, hey! You’re in my chemistry class!” Roman’s date appeared seemingly from nowhere. “Oh, uh, yeah. Patton, right?” “Mhm! Gosh, isn’t this just so fun?! I love how you two match! Is purple your favorite color?” “Uh. Yeah. It's um, a good color.” “I’ll say! It brings out your eyes.” “... Right. Um, you look nice, too?”

Patton was wearing a baby blue suit and brown dress shoes. Apparently no effort was made to match with each other. That made Virgil wonder if he and Remus were doing too much.

“Aw, thanks! I think you’d get along well with my buddy, Logan.” Now that piqued Virgil’s interest. “Logan from debate club?” “Yeah! Do you know him?” “Not personally, but Janus talks about him a lot.” Patton gasped. “You’re friends with Janus?! Logan talks about him all the time, too! Always saying how it’s so infuriating that Janus can find ways to use logic to defend the most ‘ludicrous’ points! It seems like they’re getting along well.” Virgil noted that information for use later. “Yeah, sounds like Jan.” “Oh, let’s go find our seats! Can I sit next to you?” “Sure.”

Virgil was hoping Patton knew not to ramble on while the actual ceremony was happening and briefly wondered if he was a wedding cry-er. Hopefully Roman had that all handled and this wasn’t actually the worst idea he’d had in his life.

As Virgil and Patton were talking out loud, Roman and Remus were having a silent ‘argument’ mostly consisting of Roman throwing a tantrum and Remus egging him on. Remus noticed immediately when their dates started moving on, but waited for Roman to notice which didn’t take too long.

“Why did you bring him of all people? You finally ask him out and your first date is to a wedding that neither of you probably want to be at?” “Who said this is our first date?” “What?! When?” “Actually this isn’t the first date because it’s not a date. Not a real one. He’s just here because I wanted someone to come with me.” “So you’re going to torture yourself all night? That’s a new level of masochism for you.” “And what about Patton? I happened to notice one of you is bright red and the other is soft blue.” “Well… We’re not on a proper date either. He just really likes weddings!” “And you really like him! That’s so cute, I could puke.” Roman groaned. “We should probably go sit with them before they worry about us.” “Yeah, I dunno if we’re even on their minds.” Remus gestured to where their dates sat. “Huh. I guess I should have expected our little ball of sunshine to chase some of doom and gloom’s clouds away.” “He would take offense to that.” “And when has that ever stopped me?”

Remus shrugged and began making his way to the row of chairs, Roman just behind him.

-

“My mom wanted me to get lots of pictures, too.” “Oh, I'll take them for you!” “Oh, you don't have to, really.” “That's ok, I love photography! Plus this will be great for my scrapbook!” “Your scrapbook?” “With pictures of all my friends!”

Virgil wasn't really sure talking with someone for 20 minutes tops made them friends, but he wasn't going to be a jerk and say it. Plus, he might not know him well, but Patton seemed like a cool enough guy. Plus if he was dating Roman and friends with Logan, they'd probably be seeing each other more often. Speaking of which…

“How long have you and Roman been together?” “Oh well, we're not really… He just mentioned the wedding and I said how much I love weddings and he asked me if I wanted to come so I said yes. I like him, but I don't know if he feels the same way about me…” “Look, Roman may be obnoxious and rude and a jerk and bullheaded and not very bright-” “But?” Oh right, he was making a point. “But he's not the type to just lead someone on. If you were here as friends he wouldn't be treating you like a date. So has this felt like a date?” “He kissed my hand when he picked me up?” “Damn. He's down bad.” “That doesn't sound good…” “It means he's super into you.” “Oh! Do you think?” “For sure. Just start flirting with him and if it fries his brain he likes you. He can give, but he can't take it.” “How do you know all this?” “I've been friends with Remus basically since we were born. I've witnessed all of Roman's embarrassing crushes. Including Mrs. Paisley in the fourth grade.” Patton laughed. “That's so cute!” “Oh, shh, here they come.” “Gossiping already?” Remus asked.

Virgil shrugged and shot Patton a wink who then giggled. Roman glared at him on his way past, but Virgil didn’t feel the least bit threatened.

“Oh, I know! We should all take a group picture! Roman, can you take it?” Patton passed his phone. “I suppose.” “Ok, everyone say groupie!” “What?” Virgil choked. “Like a selfie, but we’re a group!” Patton smiled, certainly priding himself on teaching someone something new. “... Right. Maybe we could stick with ‘cheese’?” “But that’s so boring.” “Oh, I know!” Roman exclaimed. “In theater whenever we take a picture we say ‘chartreuse’.” “Why?” Virgil asked with a fair amount of judgement in his voice. “Because it’s fun to say!” Virgil thought for a moment then shrugged. “Got me there.” “Ok, then! 3, 2, 1!” Patton started. “Chartreuse!” “How does it look?” “I think I blinked,” Remus joked. “Well I look great.” Roman examined the picture. Patton glanced at Virgil before taking a deep breath. “You always do.” “Oh, um, well, yes, of course, naturally.” Roman pulled at the collar of his shirt and looked anywhere but Patton as his face began to match his suit. “Um, here's your phone.” Roman tried to hand off the phone without looking at the recipient which resulted in some waving and close calls before Patton was able to grab it.

Before anymore awkwardness could ensue, someone called for everyone to take their seats. The ceremony itself was nice enough. It certainly helped that it was short. Virgil was, however, correct about Patton being a wedding cry-er, and since Roman was trying too hard to be normal and not obvious about his crush, it was Virgil patting Patton’s back. Then again, he thought he saw Roman wipe away a tear or two, so maybe they would have just created a feedback loop and ended up bawling.

After they were dismissed, the wedding party and immediate family started with pictures while everyone else mingled or made their way inside to wait. Roman ushered Patton off somewhere, probably to avoid his brother and his brother’s date, but possibly to make some moves… Nah, Roman might be bold and brash, but he wasn’t nearly as brave when it came to being vulnerable. If anything, Patton would be the one to start things and they'd find Roman as a newly formed puddle of goo somewhere amongst the roses.

The twins’ mom caught up to Remus and Virgil, grinning widely, not unlike her usual expression. Virgil had yet to see her frown even a little bit and it was honestly a little off putting.

“Oh, you brought Virgil! You clean up so nice, sweetheart! And here I was worried he'd bring one of those delinquents.” “Mom!” “Hi, Mrs. Kingsley. Did you change your hair?” “I did! Thank you for noticing! Even my boys didn't say anything…” “It looks good. The cut really suits your face shape and the color brings out your eyes.” “Hey, if I wasn't allowed to bring your mom, you can't flirt with mine,” Remus muttered. “Such a gentleman! Well, I won't bother you two, thank you for coming to celebrate with us!” “Of course, thanks for having me.” “What a charmer. Now where did I leave my husband?” She muttered to herself as she walked away. “Ah, good ol’ Dad. How long do you think he can give Mom the slip?” “5 minutes tops. She’s like a bloodhound.” Remus dramatically gasped and put a hand to his chest. “Hey, that’s my mother you’re talking about.” “And?” Virgil wasn’t sure where this was going, but he knew it was going to be a good time. “And she’s obviously more of a bluetick coonhound.” Virgil snorted. “Oh, my apologies.” “I’ll forgive you this once, but you’re on thin ice.” Remus grinned. “Careful, you know how I am on the ice, you might have to hold me.” Remus flushed. “Well if you insist.”

Virgil tilted his head slightly in confusion, but let Remus link their arms. He’d only been calling back to their ice rink adventure the past winter with Janus and how atrociously he’d done. They’d both had to practically carry him off the ice. Luckily Remus was as extra as his brother and had rented out the whole rink so no one else was there. He couldn’t think of why that might make Remus uncomfortable, and if he was uncomfortable, why he got physically closer. Leave it to Remus to be entirely unpredictable.

Virgil let Remus lead him inside to find their table. It looked like Remus, Virgil, Roman, and Patton would get a small table to themselves. That worked out well enough.

“So how long do you think it will take those two to get together for real?” “If Patton doesn't completely fry Princey's brain, I'd bet by the end of the night. Didn't he always want to meet a prince at a ball?” “When I was like five!” “Hey, I found him.”

Virgil turned to face the disembodied voice so that it might be bodied again.

Roman huffed. “I wasn't lost.” “Where's your date?” “Bathroom. What exactly were you two talking about?” Virgil looked Roman up and down and grinned. “Nothing much.” “You're the worst. Why did you even come?” “Free food.” “Not even going to pretend you came for Remus?” “Not yet he hasn't.” “Remus!” Virgil and Roman scolded in unison.

Virgil shot Roman a ‘this guy’ look which was returned whole heartedly.

“Hey, stop silently communicating about me. Aren’t you two supposed to not like each other?” “Like a prep? Don’t make me laugh.” “Yeah, as if I would ever be friends with an emo nightmare.”

Their beef wasn’t really that serious, but they’d agreed a long time ago they just liked to argue.

“Hey guys, sorry I took a while, there was this butterfly and then a baby needed holding, and you would not believe what Michelle’s boyfriend said to her.” “I don’t know what any of that means,” Remus said with a smile. “Who’s Michelle?” Roman asked. “Man, I could’ve been going on b-plot adventures with Patton instead of hanging out with the twin terrors?” “Well anyway, it’s sorted now. I saw the wedding party making their way here so I think we’ll eat soon.” “My favorite part!” Remus cheered. “My favorite part is the dancing.” “Oof, mine isn’t. I can’t dance,” Virgil said. “Really? I’m a great dancer.” Roman grinned. “Good for you, twinkle toes.” “Ok, rude.” “I’m sure you could do it if you tried!” Patton tried to encourage him. “Oh no, believe me, there would be mass casualties. But if you dance, I’ll be rooting for you.” “Yeah, last time Virgil danced, Janus twisted his ankle and a tsunami hit Japan,” Remus supplied. “Only one of those things was actually related to me.” “You can’t prove Janus twisting his ankle wasn’t because of you.” “I meant- I meant the other one.”

Virgil tried to look to Roman and Patton for support, but Patton was too busy trying and failing not to giggle, and Roman just raised an eyebrow to say ‘You chose his company.’ which honestly was fair.

They made idle chatter until they were able to go up and get food. At some point after they returned to the table, Virgil’s mind began to wander. So far their ‘date’ had actually been pretty good. It wasn’t much different than when they hung out just the two of them outside of dressing up, but nothing else seemed to be expected of them other than being next to each other which they would have been anyway. He knew in some capacity that being someone’s date and going on a date were two different things, but they couldn’t be that different, right? Maybe dating wasn’t as stressful as he’d originally thought.

“Besides, weddings are lame, right Virgil?”

Whoops, someone was talking to him. Remus. What did he ask?

“Weddings are outdated, overly expensive pageantry,” Virgil responded on autopilot. “Ha!” “But this one’s kind of nice.” “Y- What?” “Yeah, I mean your cousin seems nice and it’s a pretty chill event. They seem to really be in love or whatever, I dunno.” “Hmph. Well at my wedding, there are going to be sharks.” “Sharks. Seriously? Talk about expensive.” “Nah, we’ll just get on a fishing boat with a priest. It’ll be cool!” “I am not getting married on a boat.” “Oh, yeah? What’s your great idea then?” “If I had to go through with a wedding, I’d get married under a weeping willow by a river in August as a small gathering of close family and friends.”

Remus was a bit stunned and couldn’t sort out a response, unlike Roman who was snickering and said something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wow, he’s not like the other girls’. Patton swatted his arm.

“Well I think that sounds wonderful! I hope I’ll be invited!” “Only if your plus one isn’t Roman.” “Wh- Hey! I’ll have you know, I am a fantastic wedding guest!” “Really? Because the only time I’ve seen you at a wedding you spent most of the time antagonizing other guests, so…” Virgil shrugged. “Ok, first of all, the other guests give as good as they get, and second of all, I’d have to be Remus’s best man so I’d be there anyway.”

Right. They were on a date. A fake date. That made everyone present assume they were together. Like people who are dating are. Because they were on a date that just happened to be fake. Virgil felt and promptly ignored a pang of disappointment because he didn’t have time to figure that out.

“Nah, I think Jan’ll be my best man.” “No way! He was my friend first!” “Yeah, well I licked him first!” “First of all, ew, second of all, I doubt that.” “... Pat, do you want to go be anywhere else?” Patton laughed. “Sure. Let’s get some pictures by the flowers!” “Oh darn. I was so hoping to see their reactions when I suggested we pee on him to mark our territory.” “Yeah, I’m also gonna go take some pictures by the flowers-” “No wait!” Virgil laughed. “We should get some pictures though. My mom wanted some, remember?” “Just make sure to get my good side.” “And which side is that?” “My backside!” “Remus!” Virgil swatted him and went to find a place to take pictures.

Soon enough, speeches were spoken, the cake was cut, and the first dances were had. It was honestly really sweet and they all seemed really happy. Virgil wondered what it would be like to dance with someone like that. Would Remus hold him close? Would he twirl him around? Would he tell stupid dirty jokes to try to get Virgil to lose his footing and catch him when he fell? Not that he was thinking about Remus because he wanted to dance with Remus in particular, he just had to substitute someone in, and, well, Remus was just convenient. Obviously.

Besides friends danced together all the time, so it wasn’t even a big deal! Not that Virgil was going to dance with anyone at all because of his two left feet. So that was that about that.

The DJ began to hype the guests up and Roman dragged Patton to the dance floor for the ‘real’ party to begin. As the lights turned down, the purple glow from behind the DJ stand became more apparent, the light gently caressing Remus’s features and reflecting in his eyes. Virgil could vaguely make out a pounding baseline in the background, but everything else just seemed to fade out as time came to a stand still. If Virgil had been capable of thought, he might have been embarrassed for staring, but Remus was staring right back and so any and all cognition was halted.

“Virge?”

Virgil was vaulted back into his body that was then a lot closer to Remus than when he had slipped out of it. Suddenly he was drowning from the volume and the heat. It was too much. Without a word, Remus led him outside into the night. They found a bench to sit on, where Virgil leaned on Remus to ground himself.

“You ok?” “Yeah, sorry. I’m not really sure what happened there,” Virgil tried to laugh. “Don’t worry about it. It was stuffy in there anyway.”

Virgil remained silent in hopes that Remus somehow wouldn’t be able to see through him this time.

“You know, even if Janus wasn’t busy, I would have asked you first.” “Why?”

Remus didn’t speak for a while, but somehow the silence wasn’t tense or uncomfortable. Virgil knew Remus would answer him when he was ready. He always did.

In the meantime, they could hear the music where they were, though it was much quieter. A few songs played as they sat leaning on each other with the scent of flowers heavy in the air. The night was dark but warm and with a gentle breeze. Tree frogs chirped and some birds sang. It really was a nice night. Romantic, some might say, but Virgil wasn’t much for romance. At least he never had been. Then the song changed to something slow and gentle which pretty much sealed it.

Remus stood up and offered a hand. “May I have this dance?” “Remus.” “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” “You know I have two left feet.” “S’alright if you step on my toes. You don’t weigh that much.” “Remus.” “Please?” Remus moved ever closer, whispering into his ear, “I’ll make it up to you.” “Wh- I- Huh?” Virgil was glad for the dimness of the area that would hopefully cover up how red his cheeks were suddenly getting. “Besides,” he leaned back again, “no one will see us out here anyway.” “O-oh. Um, well… I guess…”

Remus’s laugh was softer than Virgil had ever heard it. Well, that wasn’t quite true. They’d stayed up late before, just the two of them, and Virgil had said something stupid, he couldn’t really remember what, but it had been like this that time, too. He let himself be pulled up and forward. Remus put one hand on his hip and held his hand in the other. Virgil lightly placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Get comfortable. I won’t bite unless you ask me to.” “You’re the worst.” “You wouldn’t want me any other way.” Virgil huffed a laugh. “I guess.”

Remus led Virgil, slowly at first starting with just swaying, then moved to taking steps one at a time. They weren’t even going to the pace of the music, but it didn’t seem to matter to either of them. Virgil found it to be dissimilar to the scenario he’d concocted in his head, but he liked the real one better.

They continued slowly advancing long past when the song had ended and something else had come on. Virgil felt like he was getting the hang of it and it was actually pretty fun. They moved together, predicting each other like they’d been doing this for years. It was easy enough to fall in sync with each other which was less surprising the more Virgil thought about it.

Inevitably, Virgil stumbled into Remus who prevented him from falling further. Remus had moved his arms to catch him, and now both were around his waist holding him close.

“Hey there,” Remus whispered. “Um, hi,” Virgil whispered back.

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, so Virgil waited.

“You're beautiful.”

Virgil absolutely did not squeak, don't believe Remus when he tells you.

“I've wanted to tell you that for a long time.” “You've never hesitated to speak your mind before.” “There hasn't been anything this important to me before.” “Remus… What are you… ?” “You don't know?”

There it was. The thing that Virgil knew he knew but had tricked himself into not knowing for the sake of his sanity. That little fact that scared and excited him. The answer to his question ‘Why?’

“Tell me anyway?” “I really like you, Virgil. I want to take you on real dates and be your real boyfriend.”

Now, Virgil had never had a boyfriend before, never been on a date, never even held hands with someone he was interested in. This made him nervous. What if they had a fight and broke up and it ruined everything and Janus took his side and left Virgil all alone? But what if rejecting him had the same effect? How could he survive without his best friends? He'd have to move to Alaska and become a fisherman and he really sucked at fishing-

“I can hear you overthinking it. Forget about everything else, whatever eventualities you're running. What do you want right now? How do you feel? I'm not going to abandon you for not feeling the same way.”

Virgil sighed, partially in relief. Somehow Remus could always read him like a book.

“Right now… I want to stay here. Like this. With you. I feel- I feel… like I hadn’t even dared to think about it because you’re important to me, Rem. I want you in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But…” “But?” “But now I’m thinking about it. And I’m thinking that the things I’m feeling maybe aren’t totally platonic. I just don’t want to say I feel the same and be wrong.” “Then how about this: Virgil, would you allow me to take you on a date? And if you enjoy it, another one after that?” “I- I think I’d like that. A lot.” “Then a date it is. We can worry about the rest later.” “You know I’m not really good at putting off worrying.” “Then I’ll just have to distract you until then.” “And how do you plan on doing that?” “Hmm…” Remus leaned back slightly and looked up to the right, pretending to think. “Well there is one thing that might work?” “What’s that?” “Can I kiss you?”

Virgil’s mind stuttered to a halt and all function ceased. Even his heart felt like it skipped a beat.

“Kiss? Me?” The wheels in his head began turning again, slowly at first, then going a mile a minute. “Well, um, if you want to. You don’t have to obviously, I don’t want to push, and if that’s too fast, or if you never want to-” “Rem?” “- that’s ok, too, I mean, like obviously. And we can totally do anything else-” “Rem.” “- it’s no problem. Hey actually, why don’t we go back in and pretend this never happened-” “Remus!” Remus swallowed. “Um. Yeah?” “Just kiss me already, stupid.” “O-oh. Right! Ok!”

When they got back to Virgil’s house, his mom was waiting for them on the front porch. They got out and Virgil let Remus go first with a poorly concealed grin. Yeah, this was going to be fun for one of them, and that one was not Remus.

-

“Hi, Auntie.” Remus was more than a bit nervous, but to be fair Virgil's mom was the most intimidating 4’10“ woman you'd ever meet. “If you hurt my Virgil, I will use the good pan.” “Yes, ma'am!” “Good boy. Now show me the pictures!”

[mari-lair]

For some reason, I kinda get the feeling that in the GI!Gon au, it'd actually end up easier for Gon and Killua to be honest about how much they care about each other. Not in the sense that they're emotionally mature enough tho, like, with how low Gon's self-worth is, I imagine he's gotten to the point of casually being self-deprecating. Like he'll just blurt out "Oh whoops, I'm stupid" and "Yeah, I'm the worst, haha!" which eventually makes Killua go "Ah shit, I have to be honest with him or else he's gonna keep doing that" or something. Idk, it's your au, what're your thoughts on it?

Unfortunately, GI Gon rarely voices any self-deprecating thoughts. He doesn't like to bother others. He really wants to be wanted/valued, so he doesn't want people to see his weakness, rarely calling attention to it. He is way more passive because of his low self-esteem (? idk if 'passive' is the right word since he still has a lot of opinions, he is blunt, and so on...) he mostly lowers his standard of how he deserves to be treated. So even when he is somewhat aware people are trying to take advantage of him/don't respect him, he doesn't really mind (at least in most cases.)

Gon is very honest thought, so sometimes he'll drop 'facts' that are so not true, things like "It's easy to differentiate NPCs from players. Only NPCs like spending time with me" while Killua is right there, spending time with him, and trying to figure out if this guy is being serious or making a weird joke, since gon is such a weird guy.

Killua is sharp, so he will take a bit of time (curse his avoidance of having heart-to-hearts) but he will realize this is not Gon's kind of humor and hejust 100% believes he is basically worthless. Still, Killua isn't very good at reassurances or dealing with his besties/crush/whatarewe?? feels salad for Gon, (his own self-worth isn't the best either rip Killua) so he will spend a lot of time playing mental 4D chess to try to find a way to say "I love spending time with you. You're amazing in so many ways." while sounding casual.

TLDR: GI Gon is pretty quiet about himself, so these idiots will still take a lot of time to be open about how much they appreciate and love each other.

If you're curious, I talked a bit more about how Gon having bad self-esteem affected him in the AU here

[thdorkmagnet]

Avenging the Baby Brother (Turtle Tots: Before the Rise)

@flufftober 2024 Day 3- Getting Revenge

Chapter Summary: Some poor unsuspecting scammers learn not to mess with Donnie’s little brother.

Duo: PB&J/ Smarts and Crafts

A/N: This one is actually another alt prompt for the 'make it fluffy challange'. And of course, Donnie was the first person to come to mind for a chapter about revenge, hehe

Also please note that I know nothing about hacking or coding and any efforts to try and educate myself on the subject just leaves me more confused so if I got anything wrong, then sorry. I really tried haha.

Disclaimer: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles belongs to Andy Suriano, Ant Ward, and Nickelodeon. All rights belong to them.

“It's here! It's here!” came Mikey's excited squeal from downstairs, audible even over the heavy thrum of electronic music in Donnie's headphones. He was content to ignore the yells of his younger brother- as it was really nothing new- until he heard his name called. “Donnie! Donnie it's here! Come see!”

“Sigh,” Donnie moaned, pulling the headphones off and reluctantly rising from his desk. He had been knee deep in algorithms for over an hour and had really wanted to finish up before getting torn away by one of his dumb brothers’ antics. But such was the life of a misunderstood genius, he supposed. 

Oh how he wished for soundproof walls. 

Donnie mentally added that to the project list and, with one last longing look back at the half-finished code, headed downstairs to find out what all the fuss was about. 

…

That fuss was apparently a cardboard box which Mikey was happily brandishing around the Lair when Donnie arrived. Of course, naturally it was what was in the box that was the source of Mikey’s excitement but Donnie was still feeling a bit bitter about the whole ‘interruption’ thing. “Dee, Dee, look! My new toy came in!” Mikey squealed, practically vibrating with excitement. 

Donnie offered him a small smile, saying simply, “Yes, so I see.” 

“What is it, Mikey?” Leo asked as he and Raph crowded around their little brother. They both looked immensely curious and even Donnie had to admit he was getting a bit invested now. 

Mikey beamed back at them, setting the package down on the floor. “It’s a Stella Snail plushie! Y’know from Space Friends?” 

Ah,Space Friends. Yes Donnie was quite acquainted with the show at this point. It was Mikey's favorite non-Lou Jitsu/Jupiter Jim show and he'd been obsessing over it for months now; humming the theme song constantly, forcing Donnie and the others to binge watch it with him, incorporating it into every game they played, and practically memorizing every line of dialogue from all three seasons.

And Stella Snail happened to be Mikey’s absolute favorite character. 

“That’s great, Mikester,” Leo encouraged, lightly bumping shoulders with his little bro. But Donnie had a small concern. 

“Isn’t Space Friends merchandise quite rare?” Donnie asked, narrowing his eyes at the box Mikey was trying to tear into. 

“Um, yeah, but I found a website selling it,” Mikey explained quickly, tongue sticking out as he tried to peel off a strip of tape. 

Donnie’s breath caught. “What kind of website?” 

Mikey shrugged, focus entirely on his prize and not his big brother. Raph stepped in to help rip the last of the tape off, leaving the little box turtle bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Um, Raphael, maybe you shouldn’t-” But Donnie’s voice went entirely unheard as the box was finally pulled open and Mikey shrieked in joy, reaching inside to pull out-

The doll in Mikey’s hands hardly resembled the character it was based off of, ragged and cheap and clearly thrown together with little care or attention. The stitching was atrocious, one of the eyes had fallen off in transport (or perhaps never been there at all) and the loose pieces of fabric hardly came together to form a coherent whole. It looked about as knock-off as knock-offs could get. 

And when Mikey’s bright shining face turned to a sad frown it made Donnie’s blood boil. 

“....What?” Mikey said in a small voice and both Raph and Leo grimaced at the sound. Donnie just clenched his fists and glared at the offensive thing in his baby brother’s hands. 

Mikey turned to his brothers with tearful eyes and said, “Why- Why doesn’t it look l-like Stella?” His lip wobbled and it made the blue and red turtles snap into action. 

“Oh I’m sure they just sent you the wrong thing by mistake,” Raph said in his panicked voice.

“Yeah. This is probably just some dumb April Fools joke,” Leo soothed and Donnie held back the urge to mention it was summer. The slider wrapped an arm around his little brother and discretely snatched the doll away from him, examining it with a lopsided smile. “I mean look at this thing! It looks so wrong it's almost funny!” He wiggled it a bit in Mikey’s face, making goofy noises with the motion and the youngest's sniffles turned into reluctant giggles.

“I'm sure they'll send you the real thing soon,” Raph encouraged, patting his head reassuringly. 

Mikey’s sad face pinched with hope. “R-Really?”

“Yes,” Donnie spoke up now, drawing the attention onto him and he did his best to not look violently angry, clenching his hands so tight at his sides they hurt. “I'll do some research and find out what went wrong. I'm certain I can help speed things along for you, Angelo.” 

Mikey smiled again, bright and happy, before launching himself across the room to hug his big brother. Arms and legs wrapped around him, forcing Donnie to readjust his weight so they didn't topple over. Mikey just buried his face in Donnie's plastron, clinging to him like a koala on a tree. “Thank you Donnie, you’re the best!”

Donnie smiled, giving his baby brother an affectionate pat on and head. “I know,” he said, soft. 

“Hey Mikester!” Leo called across the room, dropping the toy unceremoniously back into its box. “I don't know about you but I think I'm in the mood for a Smiling Friends marathon!” 

“Yeah!” Mikey shouted, hopping off his brother and making a beeline for the TV room. Leo was fast on his heels, giggling the whole way. 

“Raph too!” the snapper added, running after the pair.

Donnie watched them go then slunk back to his lab to start researching, scowling angrily the whole way there. 

It didn't take much scrolling to find what he was looking for, a very sketchy website promising “quality products from all your favorite franchises”. Scoff! Clicking onto the home page, Donnie’s nose wrinkled as he took in the truly horrific web design on display. 

The background was an unrelenting neon blue, the bright pop of color hurting Donnie’s eyes and giving him a headache. The text was all written in either impossible to read cursive or bland comic sans. Some entire sentences overlapped and any text meant to accompany photos was bleeding into the picture itself, making it near impossible to tell what it even said. 

But the worst of all was the actual ‘merchandise’ on display, the images clearly either photoshopped or stolen. Donnie even found one that still had a watermark for a different company in the corner. How lazy could they be?!

It quickly became clear who the targets were for this frankly pathetic scam, either grandparents who didn't know better or naive, gullible little kids too trusting to see the metaphorical writing on the metaphorical wall. Like his baby brother. Who was pure and sweet and believed anything anyone told him. 

Donnie could feel his anger rising more and more as he scrolled- practically snarling at his computer screen- but his blood boiled when he came across the fake Stella itself. Because the picture looked like the real deal- like ‘practically stepped out of the show itself’ real- and the description had enticing buzz words like “official”, “limited time” and “rare” so it was no wonder Mikey had bought it. Any of his dumdum brothers would have, despite how incredibly overpriced it was. Because of course it was! 

These scammers, while clearly amateur- one look at their web design and that was apparent- had created quite an effective scheme, robbing poor young kids who didn’t know any better. It was almost cartoonish in how evil it was. 

But lucky for them, Donnie was about to give them a lesson in morality. 

By hacking them. 

Which was painfully easy to do, since their encryption system was complete garbage like the rest of the website. Honestly it was like they wanted to be hacked. It took Donnie less than ten minutes to gain full access to their servers, giving him free reign to cause whatever havoc here he wanted, grinning wickedly to himself. “Relishing chuckle,” he muttered, tapping his fingers together like a supervillain. 

He had plans for revenge and oh, was he gonna enjoy exacting it. 

First things first, Donnie started compiling data, storing it away for later use. He quickly found names behind the shady site as well as personal information for blackmail. And sweetest of all, the company used for the actual production of the toys were notorious for bootlegs. And he just gained full access to their system. If he played his cards right Donnie could effectively kill two birds with one stone here, which made him snicker. 

After some more digging and data mining, Donnie hit the jackpot, the bank account linked to the website. This, this was going to hit them where it really hurt. Where it mattered. 

Donnie drained the account dry, leaving the scammers with nothing but bankruptcy to their names, transferring the dirty money into his dad's checking. 

It was a good thing his father was napping right now otherwise he would probably die of a heart attack to see half a million dollars in his name. 

With the important stuff out of the way, Donnie focused on the more petty part of his revenge, giving the website a full makeover. Starting by changing the hideous background color to a much more satisfying purple, mostly so his eyes wouldn't bleed from staring at the screen too long. Then he got to work swapping out the fake and/or stolen pictures with images that more accurately represented their counterparts. Other small changes were made here and there as he went, Donnie snickering quite a bit to himself at the new tagline heading the page. “Scams'R’Us. Fools’R’U.” He felt particularly proud of that line. 

Finally, he installed a virus to cause a server-wide crash that should keep anyone still trying to get on the website from actually purchasing anything, even knowing exactly what they were getting into. People were gullible that way. 

All in all the changes ended up an improvement over the original- the web page both factually correct and aesthetically pleasing, which were both a mission success in Donnie’s books. Honestly, he should be paid for the services he just provided these amateurs, even if those services did include upending their entire business and dragging their names through the mud. 

At least his webpage didn’t look like the failing grade of a high school web design class. 

Donnie sat back in his chair, arms folded and smile smug, admiring his handiwork. Yes, his revenge really had come together quite nicely if he did say so himself. That would teach them to mess with his little brother and make him cry! 

A shiver of wicked satisfaction crawled up Donnie’s spine and another evil laugh passed his lips, taking a moment to really soak in his victory. 

Once he got his fill, he opened up a new tab and ran a web search. He had more important things to do right now than just gloat. 

He still owed Angelo a new stuffy, after all. 

…

A week later Donnie was once again drawn out of his lab by excited shouting from his baby brother. But this time the softshell gave no token protest, instead smiling and shoving his chair back to stand. He’d been waiting on pins and needles all day for the package to arrive, the independent artist he’d commissioned assuring him it would be delivered on time. They certainly worked fast, much faster than Donnie had expected, and he might have worried they’d ripped him off the same as the scammers had Mikey if not for the extensive research he’d done before ever hiring them. But their credentials matched up and their quality had been backed by multiple sources so it was a safe bet going in. 

The rest of the money he’d redistributed to the victims of the scam, though the temptation to keep it for his ‘uranium fund’ had been hard to fight. Ultimately though it was better to ditch the evidence before his dad or Raph caught wind of what he’d been up to. Because they would definitely have words with him if they knew.

The package had already been ripped apart when Donnie made it downstairs, Mikey spotting him and holding the toy aloft as if it were a trophy. “Donnie! Donnie! It came! You were right! It looks just like the real thing, see!” He held it out for Donnie to inspect and...  yes, the craftsmanship was fantastic. Professional. Not a seam out of place. 

Donnie nodded, saying in a clipped tone, “It does seem up to standards now.”

“Can you tell them I said thanks.” Mikey squeezed the toy tight to his shell, smile brighter than a thousand burning suns, making Donnie feel all warm and squishy on the inside. 

“I will.” He offered a much duller smile in return but his baby brother didn't seem to mind, hugging him tight around the middle, burying his face into Donnie’s plastron and nuzzling. Donnie gave him a pat on the head because he was bad at physical affection. 

“Just please check with me next time you make any purchases like this again,” Donnie said, careful of his wording here. “So I can, ahem, oversee production to avoid this incident in the future.”

Mikey didn't seem to notice the lie, just nodding into Donnie’s chest. “Okay,” he replied sweetly. It made Donnie feel warm with pride. 

He squeezed just a bit tighter before adding, “Thanks for helping me get Stella, Donnie.” And when Mikey looked up at him with that adorable, doe eyed smile, it made every part of him surge with love and protective energy. 

By now the data Donnie had collected would be uploaded onto every social media site across the world, effectively stomping out the last dying flickers of the scammer’s reputation once and for all. But for Mikey, Donnie would do so much more- so much worse- to protect his sweet smile and make sure it was never taken away. 

“Anything for you, Mikey,” he said, voice soft, finally applying his own pressure to the hug, holding his little brother close to his heart.

Donnie would burn the world down for his baby brother. 

But for now, he'd settle for making him feel loved. 

A/N: Remember kids, revenge is never okay. Unless the person you are getting revenge on deserves it and then it's fine.

Haha, I just really love Donnie going all supervillain unhinged on his brother's behalf. It's sweet! Plus, having the big brothers spoil the youngest is like one of my favorite things to write on here.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Time for the start of season 1B!

Btw, no need to get embarrassed for getting so invested in a “kids show,” it’s pretty popular with teens and adults, haha. As the show goes on, it kinda grows with Steven and the audience, haha. It covers more dark themes and stuff as the series progresses.

Anyway, in this next bundle of episodes, there’s a lotta trigger warnings, cuz it got kinda close to your trauma, rip.

27. House Guest

TWs: Meat is briefly shown being cooked, and Greg takes a big bite out of meat, but it’s very cartoony and not detailed at all, so hopefully it won’t bother u

Also there’s kinda thunder and lighting in one part. Does that bother u?

28. Space Race

Trigger warnings:

- Greg lights a match after Steven says “light the engines”

- Pearl and Steven use blowtorches.

- An engine has a blue flame coming out of it, then it flies upwards and a small explosion occurs.

- More blue flames when it takes off.

- There is a screen on the ship that flashes warning. And it gives waning beeps, but they don’t sound anything like the Tulpar’s, so hopefully it’s okay? And there’s red flashing warning lights but they aren’t very intense. …y’know what, maybe just censor that whole “warning” part, just to be safe.

- Then after pearl says “we’re almost there” it cuts to a shot with bigger blue flames.

- Oh, and after pearl says “I’m gonna show it to you” the warning noises get a little louder and different, um, maybe censor those noises?

- After Steven tells Peal “sometimes, you just gotta know when to bail”, there are more blue flames and there’s a big explosion. There’s also a space ship (doesn’t look anything like the tulpar tho). Maybe censor the explosion. Y’know what, censor the whole like, 5 seconds seconds after pearl ejects them. Don’t worry, no one gets hurt.

On a sillier note, in this episode we see our first glimpse of “crying breakfast friends” the show within the show that basically a super exaggerating parody of Steven universe and how the show has a lot of crying in it. It’s hilarious

[Beams SU episodes 27: House Guest and 28: Space Race into your head]

Cheers!

Ah, I'm not embarrassed. Thanks, though.

Oh!

Gotcha. Should be good with the storm stuff. Thank you for the warnings... So, the ship crashes but no one's on it? Okay.

Poor Greg. Leg damage is no fun at all. Why can't they get him a cast? Mgh, meat... I'm good.

Aw. Father-son duet. Pretty sweet.

Fool's mistake, Greg. Your leg can always get more broken. Wh— There's no need to be so pathetic? Hah. Mean.

!!

He was faking it? I'm taking back my "poor Greg." Didn't see that one coming. The man must be pretty damn lonely.

Tape? Damn. If it works it works.

Right, space episode. Let's do it.

Teleportation? Damn, they're trying to put me out of a job. ...Which I don't have anymore.

People have done it before and we're people. Brilliant logic. "How hurt could we get," he says... Hah. You don't want to know, mate.

...Uh-oh. Well, he survived, anyways.

Fuck yeah. Let's build a spaceship. Bullshit plan. Nothing will go wrong. Pfft— Toasting a sandwich with a blowtorch is hilarious. If they ever put me in exposure therapy I'm going to have to use that one.

"Aw man, stupid company by-laws." Hah. Love that. Holy fuck that's not a spaceship. That's a glorified plane. They are going to die up there. Why do they only have one seat?! What the fuck is the piano for?! This is bullshit.

Okay, it went black and I can't hear a thing, so I'm pretty sure that the warning signs are happening...

"I'm used to it" is a pretty damn concerning response to "I almost got us killed."

[3grey-morals5]

hcs-scp/035x049😎😎😎(hc3)

I decided to set aside my other headcanon list last minute (it being alagadda) just due to it not feeling right or interesting. In it's place I will be writing up this. Sorry to anyone who followed me for art or sarkicism, I promise that will be back shortly I'm just in a writing funk.

DO NOTE. this is a ship/pairing hc post! If you do not like it, do kindly leave. Something else to know is that this will include both healthy and more unhealthy relationship segments. If that is something that upsets you, don't feel bad to stop reading. This is only because I feel that in the modern scp setting they do not have the most healthy relationship and wish to comment on it, not that I condone any toxic behavior.

And aswell,

THESE ARE ALL JUST MY IDEAS FOR IT. NO IT MAY NOT BE TRUE TO THE CANON.

Anyways, starting off with past. This is more detailed info on the start of their relationship in Alagadda, as I have already covered some in my last hc post.

good/healthy

-Alagadda

Starting off in the past with Alagadda, something i went over some in my last post. This was before 049 was fucking over obsessed with his cure and before 035 had multiple hosts and was just one (very sad, but decent) consciousness. Due to these circumstances, they were far more stable overall both in their own lives and in their relationship.

Serious relationships were fairly rare in the city, mainly because most citizens were more into silly flings at pound town establishments than an actual commitment. Ofc, where doc came from that wasnt very well known and most relationships were just arranged marriages. Bl was like the middle ground of deciding who you want to be with for the rest of your life, not just one night.

Who'd he choose to try and court?? DING DING DING. Some gothic bird doctor guy!! Ah the thrill of breaking the rules set by bitchass ambassador~ why can't you even date foreigners anyway? These "lord guidelines" can suck it.

In media first loves are usually depicted as messy and uncaring, but I like to think of these two as the opposite. Well minus messy, it probobly was just because they didn't really know what they were doing. Like number 1 how do you even ask someone out. He has a bird mask...maybe he'll like this little cool rock I found! Yes that should get the point across.

Jolic try not to depict the BL (black lord not boy love) as a silly lovesick teen HARD EDITION like look at him. who read all the libraries' tragedies and comedies of romance? That gotta be bl. Rest in peace Anguish...you would have adored ao3 cringe...(this is a joke. Please trust I take serious characters seriously and haven't drawn him over that one purple haired emo guy picture once)

share hobbies such as ...idfk..dissection. except bl dissects literature and doc will dissect anything that's died or maybe is still alive. What are those scars on Anguish's tentacles you may ask? Oh yeah doc just needed to do a few snips to take notes of how the sludge anatomy is (a blatant lie. He was bored and his partner let's him do practically anything. Daww look he trust..so cute)

They may not fully understand eachothers hobbies, but they will still pay attention to info dumping (haha just like me abt scp I yap ALL DAY) from the other and try and to ask relevant questions. No doc may not care too much for rip van winkles 69 chapter long poetry book, but he will forever listen to bl belt his heart out about how it touched him so deeply just to see them excited and happy. And bl may be slightly disgusted by the icky wet specimens in docs bag but as soon as the birdie needs help with them or begins his rants about new graphic medical practices he read abt u bet bl is lending 4 hands or is LOCKED IN listening.

Even when their lives were on the line when the secret got out, Anguish didn't break things off to save himself and doc didn't flee to avoid certain death. They stuck together and that got them out alive and well..back to the dimensional back alley that is earth.smh.

-Earth time before the start of deterioration 😔

By now doc was far more anxious with his hallucinations back, but 035 was still with him every step of the way. Being worn by his partner, they had a symbiotic relationship and still 035 was just one pure consciousness snug with 049's. It sure took some adjusting to not having a body, and foe doc having your bf just IN YOUR MF MIND ALL THE TIME but it was a relatively calm experience.

Sorta not ship related but lemme tell yall...fat theory coming up. Yknow how. 049 make the bodies move but they have no mental really..who does cognitive stuff? 035. IM TELLING YOU THEY WORKED TOGETHER TO FULLY REVIVE PEOPLE WITH THEIR BRAIN AND ALL LIKE ARE U GETTING THIS. that's why 049 can't do it on his own bc 035 ISNT THEREEE. Anyways 🥰

Oh BTW they're actually married haha. They scared some fuckass priest into doing the ceremony in the middle of forest lavender clearing. Was the first time 035 had a host, a nice looking kindhearted fellow he found in a nearby town.(we don't talk about how terrified the bl consciousness was the first time he got a new consciousness. But they hit it off and are still besties in the hive mind. His name is Winfred.)

Not my hc, BUT I once saw someone say that they were married with flower crowns instead of rings and and OH MY GOD that has stuck with me ever since like Jesus christ you're SO RIGHT. Dyo's was oleander and Doc's was lavender ofc.

At this time 049 could still remove his mask, and he had it off for the kiss kiss and learned from the village how to braid his hair. Doc's robes were back to being plain and normal after coming back from Alagadda, but he tried his very best to fix them up nice with bits of lace and flowers. 035 just found the best clothes he could around the houses he.. Ahem..totally didn't sneak into..

Yes 035 was absolutely bawling during the ceremony.

035 traveled along with 049, either with the rare very hardy and longlasting host, on him, or in his bag. With very little hosts, the bl was able to keep them mainly in check and in control. Something that would become basically impossible in the upcoming centuries.

When he had hosts, Dyo would venture out and find little trinkets to give his bird husband. There were always very thoughtful and doc ADORED them. He still keeps them in his bag (well at least the ones he hasn't found in the depths of the bag yet, he didn't remember them in modern times and would just toss them :( )

Examples include: pressed flowers, coins, poems on scrap papers, colorful feathers, jewelry, LAVENDERRRR, a fucking truckload of handkerchiefs of various designs, quilt squares he'd snatched, old broken ceramic or porcelain peices, one singular tiny statue of a horse, a pipe or two, pretty rocks, sketches he'd done, ect.

-Start of deterioration (starts delving into a more unhealthy relationship. Stop now if you don't wish to read!)

049's mask was now firm on his face, and the lack of mental link connection only further pulled him away from his partner, aswell as the worsening of hallucinations, put strain on their marriage. He was withdrawn, no longer had time for "silly things" such as being a present partner. The addiction to his work only further feuled this tear in the relationship.

035 still did his best, struggling through the now horde of hosts to try and be the best husband possible despite his mistreatment. He'd push for breaks, clean him up after surgery, hold him close in night terrors, fix teas and dinners to try and get 049 to eat and drink.

But it was never enough.

At some point, you just can't hold on. Trying to manage 10 consciousness was enough but with the constant stress of his situation(causing more humor leakage->quicker host expiration) he needed more and more hosts to keep a body, thus, gaining more conciousnesses. They began to overpower him, causing more erratic behavior that did nothing to help the already tense situation.

This hurt them deeply, knowing he could do nothing to help them. Or himself. There was no right option. Try to save his partner? Try to save himself? Keep some control? It festered inside of him, more and more black bile bleeding from him.

docs issues didn't let up, soon viewing one he once held dearest just another block in the way of his quest of life. He had to get rid of this...pest.

Why keep him around...how was he ever of use to me. They must go. I have better things to do.

After centuries of being together, he snapped. The mask viewed their little trip as a step in the right direction...he should have known something was up. Led into a crypt, his glee was cut short at the clanks of the gate. The click of a lock. By the time he made it back to the crypt door he was already walking away, eyes glazed over ignoring the pleas from his husband.

Wait.. what are you doing..doc? Doc where are going? What's going on? DOC?! ARE YOU LISTENING? GET BACK HERE! PLEASE?! (wailing and pleading)

Dont leave me...!! please...(thud)

(Dramatic much 🙄)

-modern day. (This is toxic. 5hwy are both terrible and I hate them. For this reason I have an alternate scenario where they remember eachother and it's sweet)

In containment, they both have issues with vices. 049's being curing..ofc. while 035's is getting free (hosts as a whole) and finding his husband(bl consciousness alone.)

Do note, mentioned in earlier hc posts, the hivemind as a whole recognizes 049, but they don't know how he is important. This is due to bl explaining him, then those who heard explaining, and those who heard second explaining. So if you've ever played telephone, that's how it is. Something gets repeated so many times a bit different, so the differences at up. This as a whole creates a recognization, but unsureness how. This then morphs onto an unhealthy obsession.

Meanwhile, 049's perception is so warped due to hallucinations and his obsession with curing, that he dosent even recognize him anymore. Merely their meets are a possible useful interaction with info pertaining to the cure, and as soon as 035 isn't of use...dropped. then he is forgotten once again. The cycle restarts when they meet.

035 is the opposite, absolutely head over heels for this guy he dosent even really know. It grips at him, an itch that can ONLY be scratched by being in contact with him. An unhealthy obsession that can't be quenched no matter what. Like he NEEDS him to survive, pitching a fit every time he dosent get his way and trying to force himself upon them to get attention. Even if it hurts 049.

Want a snippet of sweetness in these trying times? Thought so. When exposed to lavender, 049 is calmer and in a sort of woozy carefree state. A daze where his only hallucinations are of happier days...curled up with a loved one in flowing lavender feilds...sun shining warm above them, clouds dappling the pale blue sky. Life is calm, life is good. But right when he turns to gaze at whomever he's laid with.

Snap.

He's back in a cell. Cold and damp. Or led by guards, feet thinking aimlessly on the metal floors. And that haze clouds his eyes yet again.

.

.

. ☀️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️

. ☁️ 🕊 ☁️ ☁️☁️ ☁️

. '°•~-\_🌿_🌿🌿_💜🖤_🌿🌿_🌿_/-~•°'

.

.

.

.

Maybe in another life. :3

Hope yall enjoyed it! I sure did (the good ones at least) this took longer than expected, but I think it was worth it. I plan on making a short story of the future, I won't spoil too much, but I've thought it over a while and I think I'm happy with the idea. Why wait for another life when the afterlife is right there?

Thanks for reading! Love yall<3/p

[fandomfluffandfuck]

*Pops into existence right next to you with an absolutely deranged smile on my face* DID SOMEBODY SAY BIG SUB STEVE?!???

I can’t even think right.

I’m picturing a shrunkyclunks situation, personally. Maybe a 2011 era Steve with a Bucky that’s a cute little Stark Intern (maybe Bucky looks like a certain italian we’ve been talking about in dms 👀 but I also adore the idea of sort of a TJ Hammond type). 

They’ve been together for about six or so months now, and neither of them can get enough of each other. Steve was nervous about their first time, as it was his first (hey, you try getting action as a closeted chronically ill skinny kid in the 40s). But the way Bucky kissed his neck and told Steve that he was “such a good boy for Daddy” made him see stars. He didn’t even know he liked that!

Now, though, he’s laid out on the bed, whimpering and whining like it’s the only thing he knows how to do. There’s a chance it is. Bucky’s showing him no mercy with the way his hands are grabbing at his chest and the way he’s whispering the filthiest things in his ear. 

“You’re such a pretty little thing. My angel. Gonna fuck Daddy like he wants you to?” Steve nods like a bobblehead, hips jerking up as a moan rips its way from Steve’s mouth. 

It seems like a lifetime before Steve feels the tight heat that means that Bucky’s made good on his word. He does his best to be good like Daddy says he is and not fuck up into the pure bliss that is Bucky’s body. 

“Aww, is my sweet puppy a bit overwhelmed?” Bucky says breathily, making desperation surge through Steve. 

“Ah- Daddy! Please, need it! Wanna- wanna be good!” Steve sounds like himself before the serum, he’s so drunk with how good it feels. 

“C’mon, sugar. Make Daddy feel good. Be a good little puppy for me.” Steve doesn’t hesitate, making Bucky gasp and moan with how fast and hard his thrusts are. 

“G- oh, fuck! Good boy!” Bucky cries out, and Steve whines and never wants to hear anything else. 

Once Steve is all cleaned up and is wrapped up happy and floaty in Bucky’s arms, he finally looks up at him with starry eyes. 

“You alright, Stevie?” Bucky asks, worry lacing his voice. 

“Yeah, Daddy, I’m alright. I love you.” Steve says, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s cheek. 

“Aw, sweet thing. I love you too. So much.” Bucky kisses Steve’s forehead, full of adoration and care. 

if anyone wants to know, the “certain italian” is a gorgeous man by the name of Francesco Di Raimondo ;)

related to this, and this (I think, haha)

Oh my goddd

✨️them✨️

I don't even have words, just vehement agreement because, yes.

They're both so soft and pretty, and you'd never guess how fucking filthy they get. They both have this skittish, nervousness to them. This is so new and precious and so seemingly innocent yet... Bucky opens his mouth, and immediately Steve is squirming, blushing with his sudden feverish affliction.

H-he, he didn't know that anyone could talk like that!

He didn't know someone would talk to him like that!

He didn't know how badly he wanted it!

He doesn't know, now, though, how he's expected to live without it. All he wants to do is fuck Bucky, it's all he can think about. He can't focus for shit. Otherwise, he just wants to lose himself in him, panting puppishly, thrusting, drowning in how hot and tight and overwhelming he feels. All while Bucky combs his fingers through his hair, encouraging him, keeping his head spinning.

Jesus Christ, I like this pairing too much 👀 Thanks for sending this my way!

[seenoversundown]

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of Year

Warnings: Mentions of minor injury, Fluff otherwise!

Word Count: 2.2k

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Andy Williams It's the most wonderful time of the year There'll be much mistltoeing And hearts will be glowing When loved ones are near

Daniel POV: 

“Ah, YEP. There it is,” I practically growl as the breaker trips, shrouding my apartment in darkness. 

I should have known better than to try to mash potatoes with a hand mixer when I already have three crock pots plugged in, warming side dishes. 

“Fucking ancient wiring,” I mutter to myself as I rip the plug from the wall before heading into the laundry room to flip the breaker back on. 

The breaker is just the latest bit of misfortune that has derailed my plans for a traditional Christmas dinner. 

First, I severely overslept. Melody and I wanted to wake up at 7:00 to do presents with Iris. Imagine my shock when she strolled into our room at 9:30, questioning why Santa came and we didn't wake her up. 

Then, after we opened our presents and Iris was sufficiently tuckered out and down for a nap, I started preparing for dinner. 

Because I wanted to be fancy, I obviously bought fresh vegetables, which led to me nicking my finger while cutting the green beans.  

After Melody played nurse and left me with one gloved hand, I managed to grab the handle of a pre-heated cast iron skillet with my other hand. Melody was not happy with me when she had to play nurse for a second time in under an hour. 

It had been smooth sailing after that, up until the breaker issue. 

I’m pulled out of my reverie by a tiny hand tugging at the hem of my shirt. 

I look down to see a freshly awoken Iris rubbing her eyes. She lets out a big yawn before meeting my eyes. 

“Can I have juice?” she signs. 

My heart melts as I nod and rush to pull down a Big Girl Cup from the cabinet. I opened the fridge and pulled out the super-special organic apple juice that Uncle Sammy bought for Iris. The glass bottle slips in my hand, but I catch it before it drops. 

HAHA! Not this time!

I pour her juice and hand it over. 

“Be careful,” I ruffle her hair, “Now go play.” 

I look up and see Melody standing in the doorway, watching on with a fond smile on her face as Iris skitters past her. 

She walks into the kitchen and wraps her arms around my middle, “You’re a good dad, Daniel,” she presses a soft kiss to my chest as she nuzzles into my sweater. 

I breathe out a sigh and drop a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” I chuckle, “If stuff keeps going the way it is, I might not even be able to feed our kid tonight.” 

“You’re being a bit dramatic, babe,” she pinches my side, wiggling out of my arms, “It’ll all work out.” 

I pop the turkey in the oven and check my watch. 2:00pm

 Perfect! Everything is back on schedule, and I finally feel like I can take a breath. 

I lean against the counter and feel a smile creep over my face. My dinner is coming along. I can hear the tinkling giggles of my girls coming from the living room. I haven't made too much of a mess in the kitchen. 

I start to put away the dishes I’d left on the drying rack and spot the crystal wine decanter on the top shelf. 

Bingo!

I pull the decanter and two glasses down and glance over the bottles of wine sitting out on the counter, trying to determine which varietal Melody would appreciate most right now.  

Settling on a Merlot, I pour the bottle into the decanter and leave it to open up before venturing into the living room. 

Melody has her back to me, helping Iris change the dress on one of her new dolls, and I tiptoe up behind her. I catch Iris’ eye and bring a finger to my lips, signaling her to be quiet. 

She flashes me a toothy grin and tries, poorly, to hold back her giggles. 

Melody stiffens almost imperceptibly, and I already know she will be faking her reaction for Iris’ benefit. 

Regardless, I continue creeping up and grabbing Melody’s shoulders, gently shaking her in the process. 

“AHHHHH,” Melody drops the doll and lets out an exaggerated shout, “YOU SCARED ME, DANIEL!” 

She whips her head around and gives me a little wink.

Iris giggles again, “That was funny.” 

I grin and waggle my eyebrows at her, “More juice?” 

She nods, holding her cup out for me to take. 

I squeeze Melody’s shoulder again before heading back into the kitchen. 

I fill Iris’ cup with more apple juice, diluting it with water. I can’t have her getting an upset tummy on Christmas. Then, I pour some wine into one of the glasses and carry both back into the living room. 

“Thought both of my girls might be thirsty,” I say as I pass the wine to Melody. 

“You thought right, my love,” she grins. 

Iris’ eyes flit between us for a moment, “play with me?” 

And how can I say no to that? 

An hour and a half later, I’m back in the kitchen checking on our slowly progressing dinner. 

Turkey is coming along perfectly. The sides are looking good. I’m incredibly proud of the way I’ve turned this day around. 

Since we’re in the home stretch, I finally decided to pour myself a glass of wine. 

As I reach for the decanter, it slips from my grasp and shatters into a million little pieces. Merlot paints nearly every kitchen surface: the walls, the floor, the fridge, everywhere. 

“FUUUUUCK,” I scream at the top of my lungs. I’ll be shocked if we don’t get a noise complaint from one of the neighbors. 

I hear footsteps walking up the hallway.

“Please stay out of here. There’s glass everywhere,” I grind out through clenched teeth.

“I’m slipping on shoes, then I'm coming to help you,” Melody replies. 

We clean up silently; I’m on sweeping duty while Melody comes behind me with the mop. 

I finally set the broom down, confident I had swept up all the tiny crystal shards. 

“This day keeps getting worse,” I sigh, and Melody pats my arm, “I’m going to text Josh to see if he wants to come get Iris until dinner’s finished. At this point, I’m worried that my bad luck will rub off on her, and she’ll be the next victim of some inexplicable accident.” 

“Okay, big guy,” Melody lets out a small laugh, “I’m sure Josh would be happy to hang out with her solo.” 

Thirty minutes later, I let Josh in. Iris has practically been vibrating with excitement since we told her Uncle Josh wanted to see her. 

“Where’s my favorite little girl?” is the first thing out of his mouth as he steps over the threshold. 

“Well, hello to you too,” I say, rolling my eyes. 

“Oh, forgive me. HELLOOOOOOOO DANNY!” he claps back immediately,  “Now, where is she? Quinn and I have a whole afternoon planned for Iris, and that's more important than your ego.”

“Jesus, dude,” I say, rubbing my chest in mock hurt. 

“I’m just being honest,” he flashes a massive grin at me. 

“Well, thank you so much for your honesty,” I roll my eyes again, “Melody’s helping her get ready. Now, I know I don't need to tell you how to take care of her. Buuuuut, bad luck has been plaguing me all day. So, be extra careful with her.” 

“Gotcha, gotcha. I’ll be on the lookout for any falling pianos or trap doors,” it’s Josh’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“I know you're making fun of me, but with the luck I’ve had today, nothing would shock me at this point,” we share a laugh that’s interrupted by a bundled-up Iris rocketing herself into Josh’s legs. 

I watch as he quickly scoops her up and spins her around before setting her back down. 

“Ready to go, Petal?” he asks Iris with a cheesy grin. 

The second she nods her affirmative, they're out the door. 

Unfortunately for me, not even a minute after they’ve left, the smoke detector starts going off. I sigh for the trillionth time today and head back to the kitchen. 

Walking through the doorway, I see Melody standing in front of the open oven. She’s using an oven mitt to fan smoke away from the turkey. 

“Babe, stop. It's fine,” I start, “we both know that Christmas dinner is pretty much fucked at this point. Just turn the oven off.” 

I lean against the counter and hang my head in my hands, ultimately defeated. 

“It’s okay, babe. I have a plan!” Melody says as she takes my burnt Turkey out of the oven, trying to keep my spirits high. 

I fight the urge to scoff as I watch her open the freezer and pull a Pyrex dish out. 

“What's that?” I eye the dish in her hand. 

“It's a lasagna, Daniel. I always keep one on backup,” she grins at me, dimples on full display, “I know it's not traditional, but who’s gonna be mad about pasta?” 

“You’re a genius, dear,” I gently kiss her temple. 

She shrugs off my praise, “HA! No, not a genius. Just a mother. Moms always have to have at least three backup plans ready.” 

Melody greets our first guests at the door as I put the finishing touches on everyone’s place settings at the table. 

I vaguely hear them laughing together as I walk into the kitchen to add one final layer of cheese to the top of the lasagna. 

“Please make yourselves at home,” I can hear the genuine smile in Melody’s voice, “Daniel is likely in the kitchen if you want to go harass him.” 

The goofiest laugh follows her statement, and I know it’s Sam and Willa. 

“Oh, Daaaaaaaniel,” Sam calls out as he pops his head in the doorway, “it smells phenomenal in here, but nothing like turkey.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Last minute change of plans,” I reply flatly. 

“Josh texted me earlier and told me you were being a ‘Drama Queen,’” he adds air quotes before quirking a brow, “but I didn't assume you’d throw in the towel, buddy.” 

“Oh, get bent, Sammy,” I threw the towel draped across my shoulder at him.

He whips his head around, facing Willa, “Did you see that, Birdie? The fucker proved my point.” 

“I think it's lovely that you were able to solve your own problems, Danny,” Willa adds before smacking Sam across the chest with a smirk, effectively shutting him up. 

They make their way to the living room as our other guests show up. 

Jake and Charlotte show up next, popping in for a quick hello, not wanting to distract me. 

Obviously, Josh, Quinn, and Iris are the last ones to show up. 

“Oh, Iris just got so distracted playing. Sorry, we’re late.”

“That line doesn't work on me, Josh,” I let out a laugh, “I know you. You can't blame my kid for your chronic lateness.” 

“I resent that, Danny. I always arrive precisely when I mean to,” Josh scoffs indignantly. 

“Well, why don't you arrive in the living room and tell everyone dinner’s almost ready?” 

I lock eyes on Charlotte as I set the final dish on the table. 

Her eyes flit across the table, and the confusion on her face grows as she mouths the name of each dish she sees. 

Mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, LASAGNA?

Jake is patting her thigh comfortingly as he holds back laughter. 

I see her confusion mirrored on everyone else as I look around the table. 

Jake pulls himself together long enough to break the silence, “Wow! What a delightful array of food you have for us, Danny Boy! You even have rolls!” 

“Hey! I put garlic butter on them, asshole.” 

“Oh, then, by all means, they belong. Not a single thing out of place here.” 

That gets a round of laughs from the entire table. 

“Yeah, Danny,” Quinn starts, “I’m not trying to be mean, but wasn't this supposed to be a traditional dinner?” 

“Now, Bug, who can really say what ‘traditional’ means,” Josh ponders. 

“Ya know what, thank you, Josh,” I nod in his direction. 

“Oh, I’m not trying to help you, Danny. I’m just getting philosophical.” 

“Okay, everyone,” I pinch the bridge of my nose, “After the day I had, I’d like to see you come up with something better.” 

Melody nods with me as she opens a bottle of wine and passes it to Sam, “He really did have the most unfortunate string of luck. You all are lucky we even have dinner at all.” 

I grab her hand and gently kiss her knuckles in thanks as everyone finally tucks into their meals. 

“I do have a question,” Charlotte whispers, setting her fork down. 

I nod for her to go on. 

“What happened to the decanter we got you for your engagement party? This seems like a perfect time to use it.”

I let out the loudest groan, “I love you, Charlotte, but please never ask me that question again.” 

“It’s a sore spot for him,” Melody pats my hand, “I’ll tell you later.” 

“So, on that note,” I say, gesturing for everybody to start eating, “Merry Christmas, everyone.” 

Masterlist | Taglist

[ninjagirlstar5]

Ah, Chapter 3, my beloathed

HAHA, yeah. This whole trial was just one bad writing decision after another. There are very few things I like about this trial, but I do like how Syobai was handled as a smart character since usually the problem with the Assistant/Support character is that they often feel like they just know the answers like they were given a cheat sheet, but unlike other examples of this type of character, Syobai was at least allowed to make mistakes when a flaw is pointed out by Kanade, who IS the very example of a cheat sheet (gestures to that one Chapter 2 clue with the icicles). So he had to go back and think it over, and is only able to figure things out by picking out other people's choice of words that gives him an idea of how the murder plan worked. Syobai is smart, but even he acknowledged that he couldn't do this on his own and needed to debate amongst the group. It's an example of a smart character done right, even if it was at the cost of the rest of the cast losing their braincells again and we had to go through 6+ fucking hours of a case that could've easily been cut down to three if we just stopped going back and forth on the culprits and simplified the murder case.

Speaking of smart characters being handled well, I can't say the same for Kanade since you can tell that she was one of LINUJ's favorites and is constantly being praised for being "smart" through the writing and dialogue, which is more aggravating and heavy-handed with how it was handled. It literally just screams, "Look at my edgy Mary Sue, isn't she cool?!!!" But it just falls really flat, at best, cause you know she's only "smart" and can "do everything" because LINUJ wanted her to be smart and "perfectly talented" and chose to rip away everyone's braincells just to have her be the smart one. And don't even get me started on the double-blackened twist. I like the concept in theory, especially since it would shake up the usual formula of Chapter 3 cases having three people die instead of two, even if Chapter 3 cases are usually mishandled and bad because of it. But only in theory, as when put into practice here, it's reasoning was so fucking stupid even by Danganronpa standards. Identical twins being almost exactly the same to the point that Hibiki and Kanade has the perfect sense of rhythm? That's so stupid and ignores the fact that twins are completely independent people that can have their own thoughts and interests, despite what fiction makes you think with it's own stereotypes on twins. And LINUJ forced ALL of the spotlight onto Kanade, and just shoved Hibiki to the side in the process. Like, c'mon. Regardless on if you think she should've survived or not, if you're going to kill her off, at least give her some focus for having killed her best friend without remembering it! Even V3, the same game that inspired LINUJ to create Kanade to be like Korekiyo, did the whole, "The Blackened who murdered the Victim didn't even remember doing it," concept a lot better and gave focus to how fucked up and heartbreaking it was for the Blackened to realize that YES, they did kill someone and it devastated them. Again, LINUJ clearly had a favorite, and that favorite just sucked everything out of Chapter 3 to the point it did a disservice to another character and just ruined the entire trial.

...At least I had fun voicing Kanade and Syobai. I got to really ham it up with Kanade's breakdowns, and be a little shit through Syobai. And my friend's reactions were entertaining, so I got some enjoyment out of this nonsense of a trial.

[nikatyler]

Random BG3 Shenanigans: the journey to Zeph 2.0

Yes, this one was Zeph 2.0, but I consider my current honour mode Zeph the Zeph 2.0 haha. Well. Technically they're like...Zeph 5.0? Because I've attempted an honour run with Zeph like two times before. And uh...you'll see.

girl help i'm trying to revamp Zeph again

"but they don't look like the original Zeph" "brain that's the point, the original Zeph was like many of my other ocs, i have an army of redheads like them already" "but-" "but...yeah you're right they don't look like the original Zeph ughhh" < is kinda what's going on in my head

give me anything where you can create vastly different characters and i guarantee you my first one will be a white blue or brown eyed redhead. that's like the default oc setting for me 💀

Well that was fast 💀💀💀💀

This was such bad luck though, because I never had issues here, not even the very first time. Oh well

rip Zeph 3.0 you deserved a longer life 💀 i'll bring you back for another run someday

SIDE NOTE. HOW MANY ZEPHS HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN THERE AT THIS POINT. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TRIED TO RECREATE THEM. I AM CONFUSION

Fun fact, this was a separate run from the one I was posting like a week ago. So when they died here, I loaded that one. AND THEY DIED TOO 😭 I've literally never had a total party kill here until the honor one and I played the exact same way as always

Think I'm gonna leave the Zeph honor run for much later and I'm gonna first create a whole new character that will actually be built with focus on beating the honor mode, not OC building

Ah shit, here we go again (it's a tactician run this time tho and I won't touch it until later, I just wanted to make them again)

Dude I don't know about them 😭

pls can I hear what you think abt them 👉👈

(nobody said anything, classic twitter after elongated takeover, but this is actually the face that finally sticked! This is our Zeph!)

Wanted to see Zeph with their old face (yes, half elf 5) and compare it to their new face (from a mod) and I think now I can finally be at peace and not touch their appearance ever again. 😂 Love that they look very similar but Zeph 2.0 looks a bit more like the Zeph in my head

Now just to figure out the lore for them…that still escapes me 😂

I've started so many runs lately that I could basically play the nautiloid part with my eyes closed at this point

Of course, need to take my usual screenshots...Zeph is so pretty I can't

Once out, I multiclassed them to be a tempest domain cleric of Selune and got them a new armour, since they can wear it now. I feel like this combo of classes will help me finally cook up some lore for them ⛈

Out of curiosity, I long rested pretty much right after we picked up Shadowheart, and got a cutscene I've never seen before! (I was kinda worried though that you're not supposed to long rest so early and might turn...luckily, that's not the case haha)

Morning! Time to go pick up the rest of our silly group. In my first run with them, Zeph romanced Astarion (I bought the game because of the vampire so of course they did 😂), but I feel like going for Gale this time. We shall see.

Zeph unfortunately failed the roll to persuade the tieflings to leave Lae'zel alone, so we had to fight them. The guy is knocked out, but Lae'zel wasn't so merciful with the woman…but are we surprised? 🤷‍♀️

Aww how sweet, in another life you were lovers, remember? 🥰

[disgruntledkittenface]

Hi Maggie!

Okay, I saw your answers about your other two WIPs, so I have to ask about “When Harry Met Louis”, because honestly that single phrase is the reason why we are all in this Larry mess to begin with, right? They go into the restroom at the same time or however the story goes of their meeting during the X Factor and now here we all are, haha! They fall madly in love with each other and make it all of our problem! How rude, ha!

So, I am excited to hear what this of Harry meeting Louis story is about!

Hope your week is starting off great and sending huge hugs, as always!

hi Kelly!! I hope you're doing well <3

I was just typing a long answer about this fic here, and since you asked, I'll post a snip!!

“Hey,” Louis says, breaking off a piece of her cookie. “I forgot to ask. What were you talking about with that girl at the bar the other night?” “What? Oh,” Harry says, wrinkling her brow as she remembers. “Nothing really. I was resting my elbows on the bar while I waited, and she said I had nice hands.” Louis meets Harry’s eyes, her hands stilling. “She complimented your hands?” “Yeah.” Harry rips the wrapping off of her straw and stabs it through the hole in her plastic cup.  “Harry.” It’s Harry’s turn to still this time. “What?” “She was hitting on you.” “What? Why didn’t she just say so?” “She did,” Louis laughs. “When she complimented your hands.” “Well, I didn’t know.” Harry sits back, crossing her arms. “How am I supposed to know how to flirt? Jo was my first girlfriend and we were together for years. I have no idea what I’m doing.” “Ah,” Louis says, sitting back and rubbing her hands together. “So you’ve come to me for help with flirting.”

[contest-winning-pest]

For Want Of A Maylene (What Once Was Wrong)

"Another? -- Candice. That's fifteen already before this new kid. You can't--"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Candice said.

The vibes in the Champion's Villa off to the east of Snowpoint sank another few degrees. "What should you do? You know what you should do, Candice! Hire people! Get someone in to help them, not just physically, but mentally! And this one's an orphan!"

"No! No, it's fine. I'll just... I just need to give it my all and it'll--"

"Thought and Emotions-- It's ripping you up. It's been ripping you up for months. And now you have to take in this new kid-- what was her name?"

"-- Kerry. Her name is Kerry. We found her halfway to freezing to death in the snow."

"Have you asked anyone for help yet?"

"... Not yet."

"Candice!"

"-- I know! .... And she said she can't travel across the mountain yet. I figured, I'd help her get stronger."

"Or! Orrrrrrr." Maylene leaned over the table. "You can take her on a boat trip, and me and Crasher Wake can take care of her until you've hired on some people and gotten proper care together!"

"... You're right. I know you're right. Why can't I make myself see it?"

"It's fine. That's why we're a League, not A bunch of Gym Leaders. I have a few people in the Heya, and Crasher's famous for having a lot of good staff. I'll help Kerry, and we can ask around for volunteers. Okay?"

"... Yeah. Yeah! Why am I half-assing being a Gym Leader!?"

"Eh?"

"Though-- I'll need to start finding proper staff, and you're right we need to investigate the Lakefront, but..."

"-- Either way," Maylene said, "Let's get it done tomorrow."

~ ~ ~

"Hey, Kerry?" Candice called, into the dorm room. The curtains were open, but Kerry herself lay curled up on the bed, still around Li. "You have a visitor."

"What for?" She said, forlornly.

"I... Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Maylene, of Veilstone."

"-- The sumotori!?"

"Ah--- haha, yes, though that's... not really my career..."

~ ~ ~

"Hey!" Meylene scooted one of her bowls across the table to Kerry. "Eat up, we got a lot to do today."

"I already ate, though...?" Kerry said, staring at the bowl.

"Yeah, and we're going to be working hard today, too, to help ourselves and our Pokemon get stronger! That means you need energy. Which means you need food."

"Grandpa said to never have a second bowl and to always feed your Pokemon first."

"Nnn. Well, he's not wrong, but that's no excuse to neglect your own health! We have plenty for everyone!"

~ ~ ~

".... What's up? This wasn't the first sparring session where it felt like you were..."

"It's exhausting, okay? I... I've been training but there's just so much Aura around me it's--"

"Oh, you use Aura?" Maylene paused. "Let me have you and Li talk with my Lucario a bit..."

~ ~ ~

"Doing better, I see."

"Yeah! Thanks so much for showing me that. I just wish Grandpa were here."

"Your grandfather? What was he like?"

"Well. I mean-- OK. So, when I was a little younger, Grandpa started teaching me survival, and then, when I'd done that, he'd take me out to orienteer and leave me out in the woods around Acuity for a long time. One time, when this was taking me--"

"Wait, back up. Your grandfather abandoned you in the woods?"

"He knew I'd be okay!"

"He abandoned you! In the woods! That's not an okay thing to do to a child!"

"wh-- no, that's normal, that's not the point of the story--"

~ ~ ~

"So you're gonna be my exchange penpal?"

"Yeah! I really hope you keep in touch with all your friends in Veilstone. And learn to surf!"

"Haha, I'd love to do that, actually," Kerry responded, shaking the Hoenni girl's hands warmly. A slight warmth spread through her.

~ ~ ~

"I've been having more nightmares. I think it's related to Mt. Chimney."

"... Hm. I'll talk with Flannery and Liza and Tate. See what they have to say about it."

~ ~ ~

"Well, now. Yes, you will do quite nicely. As I'm sure you're already aware, given your stamps and badges, you'll need to hone those psychic abilities so that they don't drown out what you're hoping for. I can help with that. But I think we won't have as much time as you hope. Strange things are alreqady happening. I'll join you on your journey across Hoenn, but for now, let's get you a Starter and get you going."

"Are you sure? I mean. There's so much I have yet to learn--"

"No, I'm sure. You'll be perfect. Seeing it in person is a fantastic way to understand the world arond you.

"... And I really can come back at any time?"

"Always," Brawly said.

".... Then I'll go with you."

~ ~ ~

"Senri! I--"

"Oh! You're that gym trainer from Dewford, right? You're just in time. This boy wants to go out and catch his first Pokemon, but I don't have time between taking a challenge and--"

"Kerry!?"

"Satoshi!?"

"What are you doing here!?"

Wally cleared his throat.

"Ah-- yeah, of course I'll go help, if you'll loan us a Pokemon..."

[felikatze]

andaron saga screaming

I KNEW BAUD WAS GONNA GET SIGURD'D I FUCKING KNEW IT

like "haha baud is so disorganized that's why jakka is the convoy character

i know what you're doing

i know

also if you dont take the dawncaller mortimer gives you a SILVER SWORD. HEY

also also like. as soon as aylanda says she's pregnant it's like. yeah baud is gonna die

i really didn't expect morty to be the one to do it

logical brain: yeah out of the steel brothers morty really is most suited to be king. he's the only one with any intelligence

emotional brain, sounding a lot like jakka: MORTIMER STEEL YOU ARE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

it's so fucking funny how i. saw baud's corpse thru the cell. i checked his stats. all zero. "ah yeah cuz he's unconscious right. this is gonna be an escort mission" checks his con. "still 7? theodor can carry him easy then"

aylanda: "my husband is dead"

me: "ah"

and like. it feels SO logical that morty would be the one to betray him. at first i was ragging on samuel in the scene where baud and morty get "captured" cuz i thought it was just sam but

it's entirely logical that when sam came back to house rose to heal theo that morty would catch wind of baud and aylanda. and that morty could use a) baud hurting theo and b) sam's hatred of aylanda to turn ol' sam against baud

cuz it was morty needling baud into taking the throne when all he wanted was to elope. morty's arguments for killing baud makes sense. baud has the most legitimate claim to the throne of andaron since the rebellion. what really sealed his fate was having a kid, cuz it proved he and aylanda are for realsies. everyone fucking hates the lightbringers, everyone fucking hates house steel, but the worst thing about tradition is that it has weight

morty cant kill aylanda and the kid cuz of the whole "only a lightbringer can stop darkness" thing, which he WOULD know about bcuz he's the biggest momma's boy and lady maria was besties with the lightbringers. (didn't he also learn illusion magic from a lightbringer tome?)

on the other hand of course you're on jakka's side here. from the game you know that baud is just a good guy who dreams of a simple life with the people he loves. there's the whole backstory that he was a bit of a scoundrel, a gambler and a player - but falling for aylanda really changed him, made him want to shape up and do right by her. it's a shotgun marriage after 3 months yeah but that's also game limitation you cant build the relationship up for half the game since you gotta keep the plot moving.

so seeing how baud changed and that he was only convinced to take on randall with the argument it would keep his family safe and then he's killed by his brother. augrh.

and jakka's been his right hand through everything. jakka's a piece of shit in a lot of ways but he cares about his crew and he DOES soften up to jaheira and garram throughout the game. all it really took for him to start dismantling his prejudices was actually meeting the people he kept talking shit about and seeing them as. also just people. like he's not all there he still keeps calling jaheira a scalie but he respects her at the very least.

also the convo with ashley where she asks him if baudimon was really a brother to him and he gets so worked up about it. like i dont think he has a crush on baud NOW but he definetly did at some point. but also this convo questioning jakka's feelings right before he finds baud dead AURGH

and jakka's skill being loyalty. When within 2 spaces of Baudimon-

it's a skill that gives him bulk earlygame when jakka really needs it but now it's just. a dead skill slot. it's nothing. it's just gonna sit there. Loyalty. When within 2 spaces of Baudimon-

I had Baud and Jakka on B support and as for any dead character that's just gone now. AURGH.

rip to everyone who took the dawncaller and didnt get zakarias cuz i am THINKING abt his talk with jakka in 12x. how he said jakka's gonna come to a choice soon and jakka said he'd put baud's life over his own. and zakarias tells him it's always easy to choose in your own head but would jakka really? would he put baud over his family? over femke, a character we've never seen and only know through how much jakka loves his sister?

and i think that can still apply and i am betting RIGHT NOW that jakka will have to choose between his friends/family and his desire to avenge baud. it wont be baud's life he puts first, it will be his war brother's ghost. i am saying this now i am speaking it into existence.

Good game moment jakka vowing to kill mortimer really really hurts. morty i trusted you. i'm gonna kill you so fucking dead. if it plunges andaron into a civil war because the entire royal family is dead then so be it.