#(she hasnt asked for them SPECIFICALLY but... i know she will? so i said she requested it specifically sksksk)

[alienaiver]

the heart specialists agreed to a 24hr monitor test and an ultrasound on my heart! great success, since he was very adamant about not testing me at all 🫠

[hadesnumber1daughter]

Pretty like the sun

Pairing: Percy Jackson x Apollo daughter OC (she classes as an oc cause I gave her a name but you can just read it like your name or Y/N if you want, I just feel better when I'm writing and the characters have names :)

Summary: Percy has always felt something for you, something that you had felt aswell. These quests of life and death finally knocked some sense into you two.

Warnings: Blood, Pain, Agony, Violence, Weapons, Wounds, Wound treating, Curse words, Oblivious idiots, Fluff, Angsty??, Sexual tension, Mutual pining, Almost death, Non-Canon, Hugs, Kisses, Holding hands, Ooc Percy??? Cerberus as a violent dog (ik she isnt really but this is my imagine so idc), Not proof-read, GUT-WRENCHING LOVE, IDK how i wrote this considering I've never been in a relationship OR have ever had an actual crush in my 16 sad years of life

Words: 6.3k

Notes: This is my first imagine so I'm sorry if its bad😭😭. Also if anyone would be willing to give me a few pointers when it comes to working this app as a creator please do cause, yeah I've been using this app for years but I have no idea how to use it when it comes to posting things. I would be very grateful. ❤️❤️❤️. Also, if anyone wants to request something else for me to write I would love to write something for either Percy or Luke, I'll probably make a list of people who I'm willing to write for later today cause it is 10am rn and I haven't slept so I'll just go bed after this 😭😭😭

As soon as percy got handed this quest, with Grover being part of the cloven council and Annabeth being gone to spend time with her family, Percy knew his immediate first choice would be Aurora, there was no doubt about it. The Apollo girl had a spark about her that has drawn him in the second he laid eyes on her.

He had deemed it because she was a daughter of Apollo so there would always be some sort of light that would draw him in, but he hasnt been very sure of that for a very long time. Every time he laid eyes on her, it felt as though time stood still and she was the only source of light and happiness in this dark, gloomy world. 

They had became extremely close when he first came to camp, she taught him the ropes in archery as to put it plainly, he was absolutely shit at it. He had no aim and his stance was awful, in her own words.

When she first said that to him, he wanted to throw her in a dumpster, but then he saw her, he properly saw her. He didnt know what Aphrodite looked like, but he was sure she would be a spitting image of the girl. He was even more sure that she was a daughter of Aphrodite but instead she was not, which made sense as to why she was hanging around the archery booth. From that day forward, she helped him freshen his archery skills, and he helped her with her sword skills.

He has never understood why she wouldnt ask Luke as he was the best swords-man and would probably be a better trainer. However, when he brough it up to her one time her cheeks flushed the tiniest bit and she stated how she was helping him, so he should do that same.

That's how they have ended up here. In the middle of nowhere, trying to find and 'kill' a beast that has been accidently lost and let out from the underworld and send it back. Although quests always have 3 people on them, the oracle specifically stated that this was only a 2 person job. Percy had never been so sure in picking Aurora at that moment in time. 

🌊

"Are you sure we are going the right way Perce, I swear I've seen this tree 3 times already" Aurora stated this time taking a dagger and marking said tree with an X so if they do cross it again, she would be right.

"You never trust my navigation skills sunshine, why is that, is it cause you always get lost in my eyes" he says turning to look at her with a smug smile on his face. The girl abruptly stopped at his turn and could feel the blood rush to her cheeks in that moment, her honey-brown eyes immediately locked with his water coloured eyes and she broke the gaze, not letting him have the satisfaction of being right.

"You wish seaweed brain" she muttered and walked past him knocking into his shoulder in the process which led to him letting out a dramatic gasp.

"That hurts sunshine. Where are you going, it's getting dark, we should stop, set up camp and get some rest so we can re-think and re-strategize." The girl slowly stops her steps and turns her back to the boy who is standing there leaning against a tree with his arms crossed giving her a cocky glance that makes her want to die and kill him at the same time. 

The two had a stand-off for a bit before one decided to speak up.

"As long as I don't have to scavenge this creepy forest for wood then its fine by me" the girl said walking back to him while his eyes following her every movement till she was a few steps away from him. The girl went to grab something from her pocket with her left hand and with her right, she grabbed the boys arms and dragged her hand down it, to his hand which automatically opened up. She placed something cold into it with her left hand.

He looked at her and she had a glint in her eyes he hadn't seen for the past 12 hours, looking to his palm, he was a coin. Not just any ordinary coin or ordinary drachma. It was a coin from sea life, the one coin they give to one another which can be used for many thing, they talked it over before the quest. The coin can only be used for 2 things during this quest, to make sure the other doesnt die, or the person who has been handed the coin has to do what the person giving the coin wants no matter what.

He looked up at her with a confused look but seeing the mischief in her eyes gave enough away. Sighing he pocketed the coin and stepped away from the tree which only left 3 steps in-between the two. 

"What do you want me to do" not even bothering arguing.

"I want to see you fail at making a fire" she said just giving him the brightest smile, basically oozing sunlight from her. The boy felt like a deer stuck in headlights in that moment, he almost forgot the reason for her heavenly smile. He wanted to tell her he loved her right there and then, that he could never get enough of her, that he searched for her in every room he ever walked into, that she was the one and only constant source of light in his life, that she was the sun and he would orbit her in every universe no matter how close he got, no matter how much it destroyed him. He was utterly inconsolable without her. He loved her.

"Aurora" the boy started to say, in a serious tone which immediately made the girl's smile falter as she looked into his eyes, he didnt need to say anything. His eyes spoke more words than he would have liked, enough for the girl to get the message and understand him. All of the glances, the subtle touches, the comfort of each other like no other. She felt and understood it all. 

He was about of continue when a roar sounded, echoing in all directions and rustling the trees. The two could hear the howl of Cerberus all around them. Percy immediately uncapped riptide while Aurora unclasped her bracelet which turned into a bow and an unlimited supply of arrows. 

The both circled back to back, covering each others blind spot like muscle memory. They could feel the ground shake with each step the otherworldly creature took. 

"How are we going to do this?" the girl asked while keeping an eye on all of her surroundings. 

"You distract with your arrows as they are long-range and while she's focused on you, I'll go for the kill shot"

"She can't die" she could feel him rolling her eyes as the words left her mouth.

"You know what I mean" 

They could hear the low growl from the side of them. The three-headed beast emerged in all its glory with its 6 menacing eyes ready to rip these two teens to shreds and send the wrong beings in this equation to the underworld. Percy turned to stand next to Aurora and the girl grabbed his hand and squeezed to which he immediately responded. There were many unspoken words that had been said in the past 10 minutes and this was another addition 'dont die, be safe, come back to me'.

Slipping through her fingers, his hand left hers and quietly stalked away before the beast could get any idea there were 2 of them. Wishing the best for the boy, she instantly got the dogs attention by shooting an arrow at the middle head's nose. 

It did not like that.

They all barked at once and got ready to run at the girl. She didn't like to admit it but she was fucking terrified. Cerberus ran at her and she leapt to the side and ran as fast as she could not looking back until she could feel he's a little away from her. She got another arrow ready in her bow and blindly shot it behind her. 

She heard a small whimper which brought a smirk to her face but that was immediately wiped away as she heard the barking intensify. Hiding behind a tree the girl caught her breaths and looked for the hound and she couldnt spot it or Percy. She got another arrow ready and looked behind the tree once again but was faced with the thing she was hunting. 

Fear spread to every part of her body and she had no time to brace the impact as the dog clawed the tree which in return clawed her. She let out a bloodcurdling scream as she was flung into another tree. The bark from the destroyed tree splintered her, her head hit against a tree on impact and the large gash on her side felt like a fire that was melting her skin off. The girl felt her breath stick in her throat, she felt as though she was dying as immense pain filled her and black spots invaded her vision. Only one other thing was on her mind.

Percy.

The ocean eyed boy lost sight of Cerberus immediately as it began to chase Aurora, his Aurora. He followed as fast as he could not wanting anything bad to happen to the girl he loved before he got any chance to be with her, to confess and to just live a life content with his feelings. 

As he heard, the whoosh of Aurora's arrows increase, he could feel himself being uncapable of keeping up with the beast from the underworld and he cursed himself for it. He lost sight of Cerberus and it scared him, it was too quiet. He couldn't hear the creature or the girl he loved. 

His heartbeat quickened as he looked all around him trying to see a glimpse of either of them. 

Then all blood drain out of his face when he heard the one sound he wished he did not have to hear, ever. Aurora's scream made his heart almost leap out of his chest. He didnt know what to do, he didnt know where she was, he couldnt see the hound, its his fault, she going to die because of him. 

She most certainly is going to die if you dont get a fucking move on, that one voice in his head said. And he pushed all the doubts to the back of his head and focused on 2 things. Defeating Cerberus and finding Aurora. 

He could hear the three-headed dogs footsteps and instantly ran to it. It didnt see him coming and it's tail was on the ground so he didnt the best thing he could think of. He ran up the tail onto the body of the beast.

This elicited loud barking from the beast and Percy could only do one thing. Repeatedly stab the dog until it dissolved. 

Now... admittedly, this was not a good strategy. It was fucking awful. There was no thought to his stabs, they all just angered the beast and considering she was quite resistance to stabs, it wasnt helping. He was just tiring himself out. 

He then has the genius idea of stabbing the beast in the eye, or eyes. He started with the left head. The beast let out a large whimper, and stumbled which cause the boy to almost loose his grip on it. He wasnt going to stop now, he needed to send Cerberus back and get to Aurora.

Aurora. Her scream was echoing in his mind. Bouncing around his skull like he has no brain inside, only her gut-wrenching scream.

He subtly shook his head. As much as he was dreading where she was and if she was okay. He needed to secure Cerberus and he needed all attention to so it as fast a possible to get back to his sunshine.

He then stabbed riptide into both the right heads eyes. Percy knew what to expect this time so he braced himself and held on as tight as he could. He could not fail now. He was too close.

The dog slumped onto the floor which made percy's last task much more easier. With agility and caution the boy leapt onto the middle head and punctured the eyes out which evoked a whimper which made the boy feel bad for the animal and it slowly turned to dust. 

In an instant the boy caught his breath and his mind raced with only one thing. 

Aurora.

"Aurora! Sunshine! Where are you?" The boy felt as though he could not breathe. His head was spinning trying to find her in the mountains of trees and in the darkness of this forest, he has never needed to see her more now than any other time. 

"Aurora! Please if you can hear me make a sound! Anything so I know you're alive" He would never leave her. He would die before he left her to rot in these woods. He would never be able to face the guilt and loss.

"Please! Say SOMETHING" he could feel himself getting frustrated. "HELP! SOMEONE, ANYONE" tears welded in his eyes trying to find her. 

There was a rustle of leaves from the left side behind him. He was running to the sound before it even registered in the back of his mind. He kept hearing the rustling and a small whimper. 

He saw a faint glow of light behind a tree and he held his breath for the sight that was to come. He skidded to a stop and fell on his knees infront of her.

His heart dropped to his stomach when he saw her. Her face was significantly paler than when he left her and she had a wood splinter sticking out of her thigh and worst of all, the 4 claw marks across her abdomen with blood everywhere, it seemed to have stopped pouring, but it was a nauseating sight to see. He didnt know what to do. 

"Aurora, darling, open your eyes" his hands reached her cheeks and his thumb rubbed circled on her cheek and his two fingers made their way to her neck to check her pulse. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt a pulse. It was faint but not too faint to the point it would slip too far out of his grasp. 

He reached for his bag on his back to get some first aid supplies, ambrosia and nectar for the girl, when she let out a pained gasp.

The girl had barely an recollection of anything, the only thing on her mind at the moment was the immense pain shooting through her whole body, It felt like she was on fire and couldnt breathe. She wanted to die.

Then her vision cleared and she saw the golden haired boy looked at her like she was the only thing in the whole world, he held so much worry in his eyes that she thought for a second if she was already dead and it was her spirit seeing his reaction to her death.

"Gods, Aurora, you're okay. You had be so worried, I was terrified, I cannot lose you. If I lost you I would lose myself" The boy held one hand to her cheek while speaking so intently to her.

In that one moment she could feel his stare, like clockwork, bubble something inside of her. It almost made her forget why she was on the ground, why she could taste something metallic in the back of her mouth, why she couldnt move her right leg. It almost took it away. Almost.

That fire spread throughout her body again and she couldnt stop the wail that left her mouth. The pain was nauseating. A flood of curses left Percy's mouth as he grabbed the bottle of nectar and opened it.

"Okay, sunshine, I know you're in a lot of pain but I'm going to give you some nectar, you need to drink it but you need to sit up a little straighter." The girl immediately shook her head as a no in response to the boy. 

"I know. The amount of times we've both had to do it but you know deep down that its the only thing that will fix it." The girl tried to harden her stare at the boy but she was too weak to even look at him properly.

"O-okay, but... I can't" she inhaled sharply as she tried to move the slightest bit. She didn't have to finish her sentence for the boy to understand what she was trying to say. He took one his flannel button ups from his bag, scrunched it up and gave it to her. She could only give him a confused look.

"Put it in your mouth, bite down hard cause I'm gonna move you into the right position and its gonna be a pain. I'm sorry sunshine but I have to." She took it with her shaking hands and was about to put it in her mouth when she smelt it, sea salt and musk, then the girl really looked at what the item of clothing was. 

"this is yours" she said in a hoarse voice, looking up at him, confusion plastered all over her features.

"Well I dont exactly know where your bag is so next best thing." he gave her a weak smile and moved closer to her but she weakly grabbed his hand.

"I'm scared" she whispered so pathetically but the boy understood, he knew her. He knew that he needed to keep talking to her, to make sure he is doing something close enough to her for her to know that she's still alive. 

He only interlaced their fingers and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. 

"I won't let go, I promise. You aren't leaving me, not after everything we have been through together" the girl's eyes welled with tears but she nodded and stuffed her mouth with Percy's flannel. 

He wrapped his arms around her from the side, where he was sitting and placed a kiss in the hair before counting down.

"3...2..." the boy didnt get to 1 before he pulled her up so she was sitting not laying down and with the movement came muffled screams and tears that flowed down the girls face. He was whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she lent into him and he repeatedly kissed her hair or forehead. 

"I'm sorry sunshine, I really am. When you're all better I promise you can hit me" he tried to uplift her but she could barely hear him. Her body shook and agony filled her every sense. He couldn't even express the guilt and regret he felt for the girl, immediately grabbing the nectar, and slowly taking his flannel out of her mouth. 

"You're doing great sweetheart" he says while slowly pouring the nectar into her mouth. Her head is resting against his shoulder as she swallows the drink down in small sips. After she drank it, Percy put it away and the girl began to close her eyes.

"Hey, hey, sunshine you can't be doing that right now. Come on I need to patch you up and then we need to get back to camp, I'll call blackjack. I know how much you like riding on him" he lifts her head off his shoulder and places her on the tree, but this time sitting up so he has easy access to her abdomen. 

She opened one eye and slightly smiled at the boy.

"You're gonna call blackjack?" the girl asked a bit delirious but seemingly in less pain. This brought a instant smile to him as he let out a chuckle, nodding his head while grabbing gauze and 2 bandage rolls.

"I promise I will, but you have to make sure to keep fighting okay. Once this is over, I have something special to tell you" He came loser to the girl and her breath slowed for a moment. 

He looked at her abdomen and a thought crossed his head that made blood rush to his cheeks, he was thankful the girl was delirious and it was dark or else he would simply wallow away. He cleared his throat and looked back up to the girl.

"I'm going to have to cut your shirt off so I can access the cuts and clean them properly" he looked into her eyes once but couldnt face her after that.

"okay" she whispered in return, locking her eyes onto his every move. 

The boy went back into his bag and grabbed a pair of scissors then faced the girl again. He could feel her watchful eyes on him the entire time and he hated to say it but that small voice in the back of his head was wishing she was a bit more delirious right now so he wasnt under her scrutiny while undressing her. Clearing his throat again, he begins to speak.

"Just tell me when to slow down or when to stop, if it gets too painful for you and I'll stop and slow down, okay" he looked to her for reassurance and an okay, to which she nodded.

He didn't know how to position himself so he just opted for kneeling next to her, facing her. He then grabbed the scissors and started to cut her top. Starting from the bottom to the top. As he reached the first claw mark the girl hissed as the shirt was stuck to the wound due to all the dried blood. Percy automatically stopped what he was doing. 

"No, no, keep going, don't stop now otherwise we will never get this done and I can't go back to camp cause I'll be dead" her honey-brown eyes were glossed with tears and the boy just wanted to hold her in his arms until the end of time in a place where they aren't fighting monsters all the damn time and in a place where they can settle down, have fun and just enjoy their life like regular teenagers.

"Don't say that so casually, you are not going to die. Not when you have me. Not when I'll always be here for you, patching you up, nursing you back to health forever. I will never in a million years let you die. I swear on the river Styx." 

She couldn't say anything to him, he will always render her speechless. She just nodded her head as tears cascaded down her cheeks to which he wiped away and placed a kiss on her forehead. Feeling the warmth off eachother brought a sense of peace to them that no one else could ever fill. 

He finished wiping her tears away and then continued cutting her shirt away from the wound. Every time she hissed, winced or flinched, the boy had the overwhelming urge to stop everything he was doing as long as it stopped bring her more pain. Whenever this would happen, the girl would softly squeeze his knee, as her hand was resting there to make sure he was still close to her and was still okay and breathing. 

This reassured him immensely but it did not stop him from the guilt that was drowning him. This would not have happened if it wasn't for him. She would not be in this position right now if he just chose someone else to go on the quest with. She had almost died due to his decision making. He chose her, he told her the plan, the plan that put her straight into danger, he didnt even second guess his choice, he put her into the battlefield without even asking her properly. Whatever he said went. 

The boy had not realised that during his intense self-loathing session, he zoned out and stopped the task at hand.

"Perce?" the girl asked while bringing her hand from his knee to his bicep. "Are you okay? whats going on in your kelp filled brain?" she said with a half smile as the boy looked up at her.

"Nothing, its okay. Just zoned out for a sec" he replied in an instant, looked away from her and continued to cut her shirt away. He was almost at her breasts and he could feel himself getting a bit hot. Obviously, there was no reason to in this situation but just being so close and intimate to her in a non sexual way made him flustered, he couldn't even imagine of it was in a sex- STOP. He shouted at his brain.

She let out a whimper of pain and a few laboured breaths as Percy carefully peeled her shirt of off the biggest wound she had. Her hand squeezed his knee harder than he would have liked her to but it didnt matter, not anymore, not when he caused this, not when he was the reason for her pain. 

He finally got it off the biggest cut and last cut and now he just had to cut the rest of the shirt off. No big deal right?

WRONG. 

The boy was telling himself to suck it up and just cut the rest of her shirt off but he was flustered. It was times like this that made him remember he was just a boy. He was just a boy with a silly crush. Except it isnt a 'silly crush' he was utterly in love with the girl. He tried to clear his head and at the same time, cleared his throat while he cut higher. 

He could feel her eyes watching him, he could feel how fast her heart was racing and he could feel how fast his own was racing. It was as though their hearts were in sync. Every beat was the same. 

Yes the girl felt flustered in this situation, she also couldn't help but want to tease the boy she loved. The girl had always grown up with a life where she never 'loved' anyone, not truly. To her love was always a very strong word in her dictionary but whatever she felt for Percy Jackson it was so powerful she felt as though she needed a word more meaningful than love. 

A word that expressed how everytime she thought of him, that specific memory of him will be branded in her brain forever to the point where even Hera could never make her forget him or forget the way he makes her feel.

He makes her feel alive, the most alive shes every felt in her 16 years of life.

"Are you blushing water boy?" the girl asked him with a half smile on her face and eyes half opened as she felt a sharp pain run through her, while also trying to control her own breathing at the same time. Percy didn't respond, he only kept cutting her shirt off, fingers lightly brushing over the material of her bra. 

She held her breath when he did that, whether it was on purpose of not, the feeling it sent through her body made her want to repeatedly bash her head against a solid wall while ripping her eyes out... in a good way of course. 

Percy finally cut her shirt fully off and it just slid down her arms and bunched at the bottom, near the tree. She felt exposed and could feel the goosebumps on her exposed skin. Percy didn't waste any time and grabbed a clean towel and his water bottle.

Before he could drenched it in water, she stopped him by kicking him with her uncompromised leg to indicate he needed to stop. This instantly stopped him and caused him to look at her. 

"Give me the water bottle before you soak the towel, if the water is warm it will work better and not hurt as much so i'll just heat it up" Percy thought about it for a second before he retaliated.

"You already aren't well enough to get off the ground, how on earth are you going to make it back to camp if you drain yourself of more energy. I know its going to hurt but it will either way, but getting you back to camp is the priority at the moment" Percy didnt want to say those words to the girl, he felt so bad for her and he couldn't help but blame himself. And when he looked into her eyes, like really looked into her eyes after he said that, he wished he could take it back.

Just looking at her made him want to give into her. 

"I can take it, I promise, I'll be okay enough to get back to camp, but I'm telling you now Percy, if I feel anymore extreme pain, I will just end up passing out. Please just let me do this." she tried to move closer to the boy but forgot about the fact that she literally could not move a single inch without his help. 

This just lead the boy to wrap his arm around her back and lent her against the tree again. He looked at her with a stern look.

"Okay, you win. But you have to promise on the river Styx that you will preserve every other bit of your energy for the ride back home." 

"I swear on the River Styx that I will preserve every other bit of my energy for the ride back to camp" He gave her one last look before giving her the water bottle. She focused some most of her energy to her hands and they started to glow. She took the bottle from percy's hand and he could feel the warmth radiate off of her. 

He looked at her in awe but if anyone else was there they would have told you that the boy was love struck. She opened her eyes and made sure to not boil the water. As it was simmering, she gave the bottle back to the boy and he instantly uncapped it and poured the, now warm, water onto the towel. 

"This is going to hurt... a lot, and by a lot i mean a lot, you might want to brace yourself" the boy said as he gave his flannel back to her and some ambrosia for her to eat before they start the painful part of fixing her up.

Aurora took both and muttered a small thanks under her breath before eating the ambrosia which was very pleasant to chew and then stuffed percy's flannel in her mouth again. She felt so weird but if she didnt and someone heard her scream bloody murder, they would get caught and the police would want them... again.

His ocean blue eyes met her honey eyes and he shared a look of regret and guilt before he wiped the dried blood away, starting from the bottom of her abdomen. She instantly clenched her jaw and recoiled as agony ran through her and her hand immediately shot out to grab Percy's wrist in a painfully tight hold to stop him from further cleaning the wounds that caused her pain.

"Sunshine, I know its painful, but I have to do this, I'm going to do this as fast and gently as I can but I will have to be rough at times" he gently takes his freehand to clasp over hers and took it of him and intertwined them while speaking to her. 

In his favour, it seemed that the energy it took the girl to warm the water up finally caught up with her as her hand lost most of its grip and her eyes closed slightly. He chuckled slightly and placed her hand back down next to her before continuing what he was doing.

He carefully but efficiently cleaned the areas surrounding her wounds while she was rejuvenating. He would hear muffled noises from time to time but other than that she was essentially knocked out. As he finished she seemed to feel less tired and her eyes opened wider than they did before.

"I'm almost finished sunshine, did you like your nap?" the boy questioned with a smirk but deep down he was glad that she kept her promise and she would have enough energy to go back to camp.

The girl nodded and looked at her abdomen. It was really clean and the wounds were barely bleeding anymore but she was fucking freezing. She shivered a little bit and percy could tell instantly.

"I've just got to bandage you up then you can put a jumper on. Okay?" he reassured her while taking the sterile dressing, he placed it over the 4 slashes and began to unwrap the dressing to bandage her up.

They both soon found the position to be quite awkward. 

Percy needed to bandage her whole abdomen which needed him to wrap the dressing over her back but she was lent up against the tree without a shirt on and unable to move to do it herself. He stopped to think of a good way to do this.

"Okay, I've got it. I'll lean you up against me and bandage your abdomen from behind." The girl thought for a bit before she agreed and the boy got up so he was only seen in her peripheral vision. He hooked his arms under hers and moved her along the ground to sit inbetween his legs. The position felt very compromising for both of them but it needed to be done.

She could feel his warm breath on her cold neck and she felt the urge to pass away because if thats how she passed, she would not mind. She held her breath as Percy begun wrapping her abdomen, she could barely feel the pain cause all she could think about and feel was him.

His breath on her neck, his fingers brushing her skin, how carefully he was handling her, like she would break at the wrong touch. He was everything she wanted, everything she needed. Everything they both deserved.

He quickly finished wrapping her up and he mentally called Blackjack from where ever he was right now. Before he could move or start to get things sorted he just looked at Aurora. She was peaceful. She looked ethereal under the moonlight, though she did look better under direct sunlight.

He decided to just stay still for a bit and wrapped an arms around the girl loosely as to not injure or hurt her more. They just needed some rest, no matter how long or short it was.

Both Aurora and Percy could hear the flap of Blackjacks wings so he quickly moved the girl back to lean against the tree while he packed everything away. Not before making sure to torniquet the girls leg where the wood piece was still protruding out of it. He made the decision before to not take it out as they both did not know how severe the injury underneath it was.

Percy grabbed a warm, woolly jumper from his bag and a blanket and gave both items to the girl before zipping it up.

"I'm going to find your bag and your bracelet before we leave, and before you say anything. I'm going to call Blackjack here to be with you before I look for them" he stated as he got up.

"Thanks a lot Perce, but before you look, how am I meant to put this jumper on without raising my arms and disrupting my bandages" Percy felt like an idiot. He dropped his bag back on the ground and knelt next to her carefully putting the jumper through one arms hole, then the next, then her head through.

Percy would never admit it there and then but he always loved when the girl would wear his clothes. It sent a warm fuzzy feeling through him knowing she was wearing his clothes, especially when she was willingly wearing his clothes. 

Similarly, Aurora would never admit it there but having Percy help her get changed into his clothes and help clean her up made her fall even more in love with him if that was even possible. She felt as though she was just falling into deep pit everytime he did anything for her or even just looked her way. 

He finished by wrapping her up in the blanket and chuckled when he saw how she looked... Exactly like a burrito. 

Blackjack came down and the girls eyes instantly widened at the sight of the creature. To which the boy just smiled at. Before he left to retrieve her bag and bracelet which were very easy to find. He quickly arrived back to the girl and Pegasus and was met with an adorable sight.

The Pegasus was on the floor next to the girl and was almost hugging her with its wing. Percy didnt think he could fall in love with the girl again but she has gone and proved him wrong, like always. 

"I've got your things sunshine, and I know its going to hurt but I'm going to have to pick you up to put you on Blackjack. Is that okay?" He knelt next to her and she nodded.

He wrapped an arm around her back and one under her knees, making sure not to hit the piece of wood and picked the girl up, quite easily, bridal style. It make them both feel fuzzy and warm inside. Even blackjack could feel the warmth.

He placed her sitting on the Pegasus so she would be infront of him when he got on. He then grabbed both of their bags and got onto blackjack himself. 

"You'd normally need to hold on tight to blackjack but I'll hold you okay? Just rest" The boy whispered in her ear as he gave her a peck on her cheek while she slowly drifted off and leaned her head back onto the boy's shoulder.

"Blackjack, No crazy flying today. We aren't at war today, its a rest day. Just take us back to camp, quick but not to the point we normally fly." Blackjacks reply left Percy with pink staining his cheeks and they made their way back to camp.

______________________________________________________________

OH MY FUCKING DAYS, I AM NEVER WRITING ANYTHING THIS LONG AGAIN

(such a fucking lie)

But I have to honest, apart from the small mental breakdowns. This was really fun to write. I love these two soo much.

When I went into this, I wanted to actually get them back to camp and I wanted them to confess but it was getting tooooooo long for that so if anyone wants a part 2, I'll gladly make it. Please dont critique me too much, this is still my first imagine 😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️❤️❤️

unless you piss me off

[borzoilover69]

just scrolled through your hs2:oot tag, looks great looking forward to it! ^^

yeah about that...

my interest in homestuck other than certain factors of it has been dead for a while. I dont think i have the motivation for it and desire to see that storyline through.

HOWEVER.

Since its.. on permanent hiatus. I suppose i can just spoil the entire storyline and the determined outcomes of the entire thing? So click below if you wanted to see how THAT story goes.

-----v

HS2:OOT was to take place at the end of the long hiatus of hs2. After crocker targets johns house and burns it to the ground, jake comes back and finds the house, burning. BGD appears to torment Jake, arguing over fault, their relationship, and whether BGD is really saying what dirk would say. BGD also makes mention of the "cosmic asshole in space". As tensions rise, they reach a point where BGD decides to nope the fuck out and kill himself to detach himself from jake.

(ill add the pnale reference in a bit)

Jake has a breakdown.

After the breakdown, Jake seeks out john. john has just exited roxy and calliopes house (again this took place after the great pause, everything that came out this year-ish wasnt around) and talk over issues, concluding that things HAVE been off. For a long time now. That they have to do something, but what?

Hesitantly, Jake asks about Johns retcon powers. They deliberate, John hesitant even though they are "off canon" these are still their friends. They go back and forth on this before john argues that he doesnt even know WHERE to retcon to. Yet they still give it a try. MEANWHILE.. CRUSIING THROUGH PARADOX SPACE AT THE SPEED OF WHATEVER...

A SHIP GOES DARK. DAVEBOT: hey is it getting dark in here or what DAVEBOT: what the fuck is happening ARADIA: oh dear we've run out of time DAVEBOT: no no fuck this wasnt supposed to happen shit. DAVEBOT: aradia the fuck are you talking about ARADIA: we've run out of time, i'm sorry dave. DAVEBOT: i thought doomed timelines were for the game only DAVEBOT: the whole fucking point of this was that we were going to get out DAVEBOT: we were supposed to get out DAVEBOT: shit callie what the hells going on

Jades body stiffens and falls limp.

Retconning without purpose brings them to a blank space. Specifically, the black hole in which alt calliope resides. And man is she PISSED. Shes vague, condescending, and focuses on the fact they were "comfortable" and "safe". This is met by profuse denials, they want things to happen and "hasnt nothing been happening enough?"

CALLIOPE: The page and the heir were to remain. JOHN: ok. shut up.

[bickering later ]

JOHN: ok, i don't really care though, because clearly none of this is right!! this is the most garbage i've ever heard!!! They argue and bicker, and even fight somewhat. Calliope kicks their asses royally, and yet their defiance raises an eyebrow. They decide to do a trade deal. Calliope will grant them a set amount of time and they must defeat or at least put a stop to Jakes cosmic ex. If they fail to do that, she will take ultimate control and send them all back.

Calliope sends them back to a point before dave ascended and before the wormhole closed. Its a bright sunny day, and jake appears a little bit after john does. When asked, he said that calliope was asking him for something. John doesnt ask what.

John asks out of the blue if they can head to karkats house. When asked why, he talks about johns situation and the guilt he vaguely references from their last conversation. karkat isnt fully part of the revolution yet, and since the happy nuptials of jade and dave, hes been staying home and bedrotting. Isolated from human society and the new troll society, he prefers it that way as he lacks aim or purpose.

They ask for his help, explaining their situation. "We need your help beating my cosmic ex." "WHAT THE FUCK SORT OF COCAINE DID YOU TWO DO. THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT. REPEAT WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAID TO YOUR LOCAL PSYCHOLOGIST." He also goes into the whole "thing with dave" (writing by august)

Karkat isnt budging, bringing up multiple points on why he shouldnt go, even if what theyre saying is true. This could really honestly be a cosmic fuck over. So when in doubt, reverse psych it out. John nonchalantly says ok, thats fine. We are going to respect your decision here. And karkat gets mad. REALLY. REALLY. MAD.

They end up reverse psychologying him into thinking its a personal FAVOUR that hes doing them by making sure they dont asphyxiate on dead air in space. Karkat and john talk about stuff happening, while Jake says he has to run a few errands. Karkat bringing up more questions about how easily john is doing this, john fumbling but probing more into what this pre-revolution karkat thinks to try and understand what the other karkat was on about. Jake returns, and the ship is ready to go.

this music

[Cue flash that shows the ship, then the town zooming out as. callback to when janes house entered the medium, and then zoom in on the ship as it takes off, entering through the wormhole into paradox space. Sollux on the roof gets blown over by the breeze, watching them. Inside the wormhole, Jake celebrates and highfives John before walking out, leaving karkat behind as he stares up into the soaring heavens. The perspective switches to the front of jakes ship, showing that its more reminiscent of a large battleship before it switches to dirks ship, flying through space he looks up at the screen. Slow pan over the members of the cast going to be relevant, terezi in front of a board of pinned papers and threads, rose watering plants, a timelapse of jakes ship and its occupants setting up and personallising the space. Alt calliope, davebot, the meat crew. etc. Cut to black and fade in text: HS2:OOT]

Ill put more later. But that was all of act one. maybe ill put up act two and other plotpoints later in another post along with the exclusive business.

[81folklore]

happiness - LECLERC

pairing: charles leclerc x ex!reader (fc: sabrina carpenter + pintrest) part 2

summary: releasing a song about your ex might finally stop the rumors surrounding your breakup (or: you release happiness about your ex charles leclerc)

authors note: this is my first ever post (and social media au) so please bear with me as im still figuring this all out!!) i dont use proper grammer and may mispell things!! the song ‘happiness’ by taylor is one of my faves so i had to use it, i am interpreting the song in a very specific way to fit the story! i do not own ‘happiness’ nor any song mentioned in this fic. it ended up longer than expected im so sorry😅

masterlist

yourusername

liked by annacathcart, henrymoodie and 1,550,456 others

its times like these wish i had a time machine,, i will miss you guys SO MUCH!! buuuut we are going international for the first time and i cannot wait to share my music with all you beautiful people🌟

see you soon paris & link for tickets in bio💌

view comments

user5 cannot wait to see you in paris!!

user7 this tour has been one of the best things to ever happen to me, cant wait to scream nonsense at you once again🫶

user10 genuinely cant stand her after what she put charles through

user9 what are you talking about? their breakup was mutual

user10 seems like she doesnt care which means it clearly hasnt affected her

henrymoodie so excited to be opening for you in europe!

yourusername youre in for a treat tour mate🫣

user2 sigh i miss her and landos interactions

charles_leclerc

liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc and 1,164,121 others

definitely not the result we were hoping for but thank you for making my home race as special as always, onto the next one!

view comments

user10 you tried your best which is all we ask

user3 i missed yn this week, home race didnt feel the same😔

user1 i thought it felt different, he seemed very distracted this weekend

user13 at least you finished the race (im coping badly)

user4 we love you charles keep pushing❤️🤍FORZA FERRARI

yourusername

liked by newhopegeorge, landonorris and 2,025,754 others

how am i supposed to leave you now that you’re already over..

paris you were so so lovely what did i do to deserve you guys :’) next stop brussels💌

view comments

user89 talented, brilliant, incredible, show stopping, spectacular, wonderful, amazing!!

user52 forever missing you💌

user71 ok but yn why were you teasing a new song at the show…

yourusername shhhh

landonorris super proud of you

yourusername thank youuu landooo

user2 my prayers have been answered woooo

user46 i feel like i missed something, are lando and yn friends?

user5 yeah! lando was how yn met charles and theyve been friends for a few years now

ynupdates

liked by user5, user16 and 13,456 others

yn on a new song she plans to release soon tonight at brussels ‘ive been writing a song for a while that really just helps explain the way ive been feeling these past few months, it was very therapeutic to write and ive really enjoyed the process!’ and when asked what the song was about she said ‘its about someone who will always mean alot to me, they know who they are and thats enough for me!’

she seemed very happy to be able to talk about it so expect more updates about that soon! next stop cologne, grab your tickets from the link in our bio💌

view comments

user5 i cannot wait for new music

user16 what if she performs it on tour huh? what then? WHAT THEN??

user15 it’s definitely about charles, she had that same smile she wore when talking about him previously☹️

yourusername

liked by vicdeangelis, lizzymcalpine, arthur_leclerc and 2,450,470 others

i cant make it go away by making you a villain, i guess its the price i paid for seven years in heaven…

view comments

user5 these have to be song lyrics right??

user7 sounds like it might be about charles🤨

user10 not more music about charles, at least he gets free promo from them..

arthur_leclerc we miss you

yourusername i miss you guys too!! come to a show soon?

[wolfertinger]

multiple different anons: hey isn't it kind of odd that wis defends not only a rapist (mari) but a groomers (majora) constantly? why is she defending groomers?

admin: im not sure. but i agree it is suspicious.

wis: THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME A PEDOPHILE RAPIST GROOMER! THEY ARE SAYING IM A PEDOPHILE RAPIST ZOOPHILE GROOMER AND PEDOJACKETING!! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT THEY CALLED ME AND ONLY ME A ZOOPEDO RAPIST ON THAT BLOG. THE BLOG IS @wolfertinger BY THE WAY. THEY ARE LITERAL PIECES OF SUB HUMAN SHIT FOR SAYING THAT I WANT TO FUCK KIDS.

admin: no one said that wis.

anons: what the hell??

bonus version that made me think to write this ask-

anons: hey, i noticed that salem is mutuals with fr4nkie on bluesky. fr4nkie is a open zoophile and into a lot of creepy things, isn't that kind of suspicious that salem is mutuals with someone like that?

admin: you're right, that is concerning.

wis: OH MY GOD THEY ALL KEEP CALLING ME SPECIFICALLY A ZOOPHILE. THEY KEEP INSISTING THAT I PERSONALLY WANT TO FUCK ANIMALS WHY WON'T THEY STOP. THEY ARE PURE EVIL LYING ABOUT ME LIKE THAT. THEY CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT HOW I'M A ZOOPHILE YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE SCREENSHOTS OF IT. IT TOTALLY HAPPENED TRUST ME!!

anons+admin: .......

for the record fr4nkie is marked as a open zoo on laelaps and looking up the evidence that blocklist keeps shows that the evidence is a post of fr4nkie saying they are a proud zoo while also supporting MAPs aka pedophiles https://github.com/heikadog/zml/blob/main/zml.md and then the link to the evidence for fr4nkie directly archive.today/HV21l

to be serious i find it highly concerning that wis sees people on here talking about open zoophiles that are clearly not her and tries to twist it into a statement about her. i didn't think she was a zoo or any of the other things before, but now i cant help but doubt her on her claims of not being a zoophile. i dont think she is a pedo or a rapist but the fact that she keeps bringing up not being a zoophile when she hasnt been involved in any discussion of zoophiles prior to her trying to shove herself into it on this blog gives me a bad feeling. no one called you a zoophile wis. they pointed out that your boyfriend and not you interacts with a proud and open zoophile who will flat out tell you if asked that they are a zoophile to the point they made a post on bluesky saying as much. you werent mentioned in any of it.

if seeing people mentioning fr4nkie by name and talking about how they are a self-admitted zoophile makes you feel the need to cry about how youre getting slandered and accused of zoophilia that makes me think its because you have shit in common with them. at least with the groomer/rapist shit its because people are pointing out that you go to bat for two known groomers and a rapist. no one has seen you doing that for a zoophile let alone tried to point that out to the best of my recollection. you came up with that all from scratch wis-and coming up with something like that on your own doesnt make you look innocent.

i know, every time it is brought up here. people rush to say, feral is "just fiction", and "it is cartoon animals". speaking from what i have witnessed. it will not always just stay, to fictional animals. such as glitchedpuppet, or wild--life.

i cannot express enough, how horrifying it is to see even SIMULATED zoophilia, as someone who has seen the real after effects, of an abused animal. it ruins them. not just mentally. physically. spiritually. it changes them. you will want to beat every animal abuser to death with your bare hands, when you have to watch a dog euthanized, because it has been so sexually traumatized, and will never live a normal life, without physical agony.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

If we’re sharing confessions and critiques, I don’t really like how the show handles LGBTQ+ representation.

Take Isaac. I say this as a queer man, he kind of feels like a “token gay man” character (not the creators’ intention I’m sure, but still). Not only is he the only confirmed mlm character in the main group, but a lot of his personality traits are stereotypes usually associated with queer men, often found in other shows and movies that have these types of characters (ex: he’s sassy, vain, selfish, overly feminine, was stated to “love musicals” in the second episode of the first season, and a lot of his jokes tend to revolve around the fact that he’s sexually attracted to other men (granted this lightened up in later seasons, but it was still very prevalent in the first)).

Besides that, it’s disappointing that the show’s only mlm relationship ended up being so toxic and messy.

Then we have Flower. She’s openly queer and has mentioned being in relationships with other women in the past. However, I feel like most of time said relationships are brushed aside as either Flower having intimacy issues and simply needing a third, or her just being a sexually active person.

Even the side characters who are confirmed queer have their problems imo (except maybe June and Ally, who, even then, we only saw twice), but I think I’d make this ask too long discussing my thoughts on every single one of them.

Now, the representation isn’t ALL bad, and there are other issues I have with these characters besides (Isaac being a colonizer and hippie culture itself having lots of cultural appropriation), but in regards to this specific issue, I just think the representation could be better.

Maybe at least have the characters hinted at being LGBTQ+ be confirmed queer, rather than having said hints be played off as mere jokes (like how Pete and Thor are both believed to be bi due to passing comments made by Pete, heavily implying that he has a crush on Jay, and Thor’s reactions to the lumberjack TikTok and the Dino stripper, as well as talking about “boat rules”).

This is interesting.

I definitely agree that Isaac hasnt really been handled well. They seem to have his commentary, especially early on, as he's the butt of the joke for not knowing himself and everyone else "knowing".

They had a beautiful moment with Hetty but in the finale of S1, they had everyone fake surprise and even have Nigel somehow already expect that he knew. In fact, the whole relationship with Nigel has been pushing her faster than he's clearly comfortable with. That's why I liked the breakup so much.

And yes, to Flower.

They established early on that she's definitely bi but they make all of her significant relationships men. (Which there's nothing wrong with that but it does make it seem like the women are just because she'll sleep with anything that moves).

Speaking of Carols definitely bi and she's written that way, too. Even Nancy feels that way a bit?

They've played with the bi-impliedness of Pete, Thor, Sass and Trevor especially with dino stripper Chris (I want him back so bad), but not really addressing it?

Like it's there to see in their reactions and I kind of wish they would go into it more. Like because they all died when they might not even have considered that being bi is an option, and defaulted to being into women because that was the expectation, it could be an interesting arc for them to learn and accept themselves.

Especially since they all saw it in Isaac, so they should be able to self reflect?

I'd like that more than the forced endgames I'm seeing and expecting.

Thanks for the confession.

[mooseyspooky]

Why do you think Morrissey has been acting like this lately? Is it because Marr turn down a reunion? I don't think he only wanted the reunion for the money. I also feel like Morrissey feels irrelevant and forgotten and thought that maybe a reunion might give a new life to his career

Darren asked me about this yesterday, and I wrote a whole essay about it. I think just copying it here will be a good answer to this.

Darren: How are we feeling about the moz and Johnny news

Me: Pretty indifferent. Same shit another day. I mean they survived the court case and banged all the way through the early to mid 2000s to 2009

Moz having a tantrum is nothing new

I was very sad to hear Johnny said no to a reunion

But it's not like I don't get it

Andy passed last year

Johnny wanted Moz back in 2008 and Moz ghosted him after promising he was totally on board

Moz didn't show up for the 2006 fundraiser concert for Andy's dad's cancer

Which is pretty ruthless

Moz clearly hasnt opened a single email Johnny sent him since 2018 when Johnny filed the trademark and tried to get him to cosign

Which is insane because Johnny did it specifically to stop Mike Joyce (the Classically Smiths venture that he tried roping Andy into, though Andy backed out at the last minute. Some say because of his cancer, but I'm sure Johnny being so pissed off about it he got lawyers involved was also a part of it)

Which is literally something Moz should be gagging to do at all times 24/7

And meanwhile nothing

And then Johnny continued to try, even sending the paperwork again this year in January and nothing

So i mean why would Johnny want a reunion

Moz wants it to happen a year after Andy is buried, it's too late

Does it hurt I don't get to see them together on stage ever, yes, but I'm not like

Demented

If I was Johnny I'd be so fucking tired

Like beyond exhausted

Sharing a stage with him?

Putting up with him on tour?

Moz canceled over 50% of shows last year

No explanation, sometimes on the _day of_

Just wouldn't do them

I mean Johnny won't cancel a show if his grandma dies

Moz just

Cancels cause it's a slightly breezy day out and that offends him

Yes I love Moz, I am his ride or die, I will go to my grave obsessed with him and everything about him

But I am aware and understanding he is extremely fickle and can be very stupid

This is all happened, literally all of it, cause Johnny made very light fun of him on Twitter

Like barely a joke

Johnny saw some popular girl on Twitter who is a super fan

Saw she mentioned a reunion

Didn't tag him

And Johnny posted a picture of a far right dude in England that Moz protested the treatment of in prison one time like- i don't know. 7 years ago

They put the guy in a prison where he was at high risk, and Moz made a slight offhanded comment saying it was cruel

So now here we are, with Johnny posting a picture of a guy

To a Smiths super fan

Who didn't tag him

Who mentioned a reunion

Because she saw Oasis get back together

And Moz got _so upset_

He decided to throw an absolute shit fit

And now Johnny has to be like literally can you calm down

And in some ways I understand both sides

Moz just

His sort of...recurring thing

Is that he really really hates when Johnny won't stick up for him

Or when Johnny is quiet when people are dog piling on him

Johnny did that a lot in the 90s

During the NME smear campaign, for instance, and the court case

And it really broke Moz up

Like, and I can imagine it did hurt

To be so close and so in love and meanwhile Johnny won't do anything. Just sit there and refuse to say anything

That's probably heartbreaking

Especially with Moz being so. Like. Blindly in belief that Johnny is forever innocent, forever perfect ("the always innocent young cabin boy")

There is no flaw

But Johnny is a human being, too, who has a lot going on

And to then see Johnny, here in 2024, once again. After 30 years not stand up for him

But instead making teasing posts on Twitter

Even if they're not cruel

I could see it causing Moz to have a meltdown

Should he be? At 65? No. He should be over it

But he's not

He still wants Johnny to love him, to defend him

And so yes he did have a total split from sanity for a bit but at the end of the day. I think the underlining thing is is that it stems from Moz being so deeply infatuated with his first love that he can't stand even the slightest notion Johnny isn't still as infatuated with him

Johnny was able to move on, to continue to keep his marriage, he was able to maintain friendships and have a lot of normal stuff that Moz couldn't because autism

Undiagnosed unrecognized autism but all the same

Moz is still, in his mind, deeply entrenched in the belief that Johnny is perfect and slight diversions from that cause major malfunctions

Moz clearly doesn't give a shit about the trademark thing. He's ignored it since 2018. Moz has talked about loathing albums being repackaged (Paint a Vulgar Picture), so clearly the greatest hits thing doesn't really bother him

Moz wanting a reunion, sure. Okay. Maybe that stung but my god he had to expect it

So what does Moz care about?

Johnny

That's it. Period.

He wants Johnny to love him and be obsessed with him forever, and that's the long and the short of it so.

[jelena-scissors]

TUESDAY, 7:29 PM

Oscar (over text): have you told nora abt our talk?

Courtney (over text): yup. told her i dont think its a good idea. Courtney (over text): shes still into him tho, that apparently hasnt changed since last year

Oscar (over text): wait Oscar (over text): you said its not a good idea Oscar (over text): we agreed they were perfect for each other

Courtney (over text): yeah Courtney (over text): but i also said i wont encourage it because theyre both in relationships

Oscar (over text): right Oscar (over text): hes into her tho, i think he'll break up with rachel soon to get with her

Courtney (over text): i dont think she'll break up with giov, she is all for communication and fixing problems rather than walking away from them

Oscar (over text): sure

Courtney (over text): why do you ask?

Oscar (over text): bcz i told javier to go for it

Courtney (over text): what? Courtney (over text): why would you do that??

Oscar (over text): relax Oscar (over text): he wont do anything stupid Oscar (over text): he knows the limits _______________________________________

Nora: Hey, Javier. What brings you here?

Javier: I was going to walk our dog, but Oscar took him on a hike after school so he wasn't in a mood for another walk. Unlike me.

Nora: I didn't know you have a dog. What breed?

Javier: A german shepherd called Rex. We got him like 4 months ago.

Nora: Oh, cute! Like Kommissar Rex?

Javier: Quite the opposite, actually. I think Oscar specifically trained him not to bark when he smells w*ed.

Nora: What about dead bodies?

Javier: I'll let you know when he finds one.

Nora: Deal.

Javier: So... What are you doing here, all the way on this side of town?

Nora: Oh, I umm... I had a date with Giovanni. If we could even call it a date...

Javier: What do you mean?

Nora: Well, we ran into some bumps in our relationship that we're trying to work out. It's not going so good for now, but it will be.

Javier: Oh, right... Anything you'd like to get off your chest?

Nora: Not really, sorry. I think I'll expose our dirty laundry just to Courtney for now, haha.

Javier: That's understandable. Sorry for bringing it up.

Nora: Don't worry about it, I'm fine.

Javier: Do you want to go get something to eat?

Nora: Umm, I don't know...

Javier: Come on, Nora, I don't bite.

Nora: Sure. Let's go.

Vivian: I heard Marianne Hawthorne is running for mayor in the next round, against Ignacio.

Margrit: She sure is... It's scary how good her percentages look, but despite that I don't think she has a shot of winning.

Vivian: Not for now at least... A lot can change in two months.

Margrit: I just don't understand how someone in this day and age can support everything she stands up for... One of the last things she said was that she feels like we should shut down the bars and night clubs, fill our town with surveillance systems and set a curfew. Who would want that?

Vivan: That's a terrible idea. Courtney tells me all the time that this town is quite boring and small and that her and Oscar are planning to move away as soon as they finish high school. Imagine what will happen if they do shut down the bars... The teens will be so bored I wouldn't be surprised they started robbing everyone.

Margrit: Speaking of... Nora told me you guys are thinking about setting a security system in your place.

Vivian: Ahh, Courtney really wants to, but we haven't talked about it properly, just kind of mentioned it.

Margrit: I agree with her. Ever since I heard they're turning that equestrian center into a movie studio, I'm thinking we are going to have a lot more visitors on our hill.

Vivian: Hmm, good thinking. Alright, if you and Jaap decide to go for it, Peter and I will discuss it as well. I just don't want to end up with a "smart home" that turns out to be tracking my every move and if it malfunctions can lock me out forever.

Margrit: Modern technology is our friend, Vivian.

Vivian: I'll believe is when I experience it first-hand.

Margrit: Have you at least thought about hiring a butler or a bodyguard?

Vivian: A butler sounds like a good idea, but Kevin Costner is a little bit unnecessary if you ask me.

Margrit: I'm thinking about Kevin Costner a lot these days. If Marianne gets even better numbers I'll definitely start to fear for myself because I don't think we have the same supporters.

Vivian: Whatever floats your boat... _______________________________________

TUESDAY, 8:43 PM

Rachel: Hey, guys!

Nora: Oh... Hi, Rachel. You look great.

Rachel: Thanks! What's up? What are you doing here?

Nora: Well, we were just-

Rachel: Hey, babe!

Javier: Hey. So... We were just getting some food.

Rachel: Yeah? You two? Together?

Javier: No. We ran into each other in the restaurant. Right, Nora?

Nora: Yes. Total coincidence.

Javier: I thought you were grounded.

Rachel: I was, but dad said I'm not anymore so I went for a walk.

Nora: You live around here?

Rachel: I'm over at Sim Lane. What about you?

Nora: Summer Hill Court.

Rachel: Oh, wow. Didn't think you're that rich.

Nora: What's that supposed to mean?

Rachel: Nothing.

Javier: Okay, ladies...

Rachel: Walk me home, babe?

Javier: Of course. Nora, how are you getting home?

Nora: I'll just get a taxi.

Javier: Let me pay for it.

Nora: No, no, you don't have to-

Rachel: Yeah, babe, she can afford it. Come on, let's go.

Javier: Alright, alright... Bye, Nora!

Nora: Bye guys, good night! _______________________________________

Victor: Where's your sister?

Trevor: She said she's going to the store to buy something. Maybe a yogurt or a shampoo... I don't know, I wasn't really listening.

Victor: You know she's still grounded, right?

Trevor: Yeah, but... She just went to the store.

Victor: We'll see about that.

Trevor: Why are you so hard on her?

Victor: Because her behavior is awful. She's does just below average in school, she's mean and always has an attitude towards your mother and me... I thought her dating Ignacio's son will put some more sense in her, but I guess not.

Trevor: That doesn't make any sense.

Victor: Why not? Javier is a good boy - just like you.

Trevor: Well, yeah, I know... But, he isn't responsible for her upbringing.

Victor: Look, son, I'm grasping at straws here. I'm actually amazed how your mother and I made you who's so well-behaved and her who's a complete opposite.

Trevor: She's not that bad...

Victor: We didn't raise her to behave this way so, yeah - she is that bad. And now she snuck out with God knows who and where.

Trevor: Alright, dad, calm down. You've had a long day so why don't you take off your suit and go rest, maybe check your blood pressure and I'll let you know when Rachel's home.

Victor: Fine. Samantha! Where's our blood pressure cuff?! _______________________________________

TUESDAY, 9:18 PM

Jodokus: Come on, you have the first move.

Nora: Oh, right. Yeah... Sorry, I'm just distracted a bit.

Jodokus: You asked me to help you prepare for the competition. You can't just have a "bad day" when your opponent is sitting at the other end of the table.

Nora: You're absolutely right. Let's go.

Jodokus: We can still talk about whatever's bothering you.

Nora: It's hard to explain.

Jodokus: Ah... Love troubles?

Nora: I guess you could call it that.

Jodokus: Is Giovanni mean like his siblings?

Nora: What do you mean?

Jodokus: His sister Angelica is de duivel - she makes fun of Stella Morris every day for being an orphan just because she lives with her brother and sister, says Marissa Ramos must be a part of a cartel just because she's mexican and even tells Elena, her own cousin, that she's stupid. She's not stupid, she just has a short attention span.

Nora: That's horrible, poor girls... Giovanni is not that bad. I mean, I guess he could show a bit more compassion, make more time for me and stop lying to me, but-

Jodokus: Your move again.

Nora: -I don't want to break up with him - that's like running away from the problem. I want to teach him how to communicate better and give our relationship a real shot.

Jodokus: Zus, calm down. You've been in an official relationship for less than a week. Besides, you're not Bob de Bouwer - stop trying to fix everyone. No one will look down on you if you walk away now.

Nora: That's like surrendering to your opponent for a draw just so you can win half a point.

Jodokus: Well... Eerlijk is eerlijk.

Nora: When did you get so wise?

Jodokus: I like to eavesdrop when the grown-ups are talking.

Nora: I should join you sometime. _______________________________________

WEDNESDAY, 6:46 AM

Courtney: Good mor- Who the f*ck are you?!

Javon: Good morning, miss Courtney. My name is Javon and I was hired as your butler.

Courtney: Oh, so that's why I had to move into a room upstairs.

Javon: Upstairs is always safer, miss Courtney. Less break-ins and less peeping Toms. Have a seat, I'll serve you some breakfast.

Courtney: Thanks...

Peter: Good morning!

Courtney: Dad, why didn't you tell me you were hiring a butler?

Peter: It was your mother's doing. She called the service last night after Nora's mom gave her that idea.

Courtney: Why couldn't we get an alarm like normal people?

Peter: Well, your mother's argument was that the butler is like a "human alarm". Same efficiency, similar cost, but a butler would never lock you out of your house or make noise when the wind blows a bit harder.

Courtney: Sure, but... A butler? What are we - the royal family?

Peter: You're acting like we have an image problem when in reality, everyone in our position would do the same.

Courtney: Whatever... _______________________________________

WEDNESDAY, 10:32 AM

Caroline: I love it!

George: I love it, too! Especially this carpet you found at the flea market, it really ties the room together.

Caroline: I love the fact you suggested mismatched sofas. I have to admit I was really skeptical at first, but now that I see how great it looks... I love it.

George: And I love you.

Caroline: I love you, too. And thank you for upgrading the bar.

George: I know how much you want and need it to practice your mixology skill. I put more money aside right after you first told me that you wanted to have your own bar a few years ago.

Caroline: You're wonderful.

George: I wish I could stay here with you the whole day.

Caroline: I know, me too...

George: Listen - after work I was hired for a private reading so I'll be home in the evening. Luke told me he's having a friend over after school so just keep an eye on them, please.

Caroline: Of course. Which friend?

George: He said we haven't met them yet, but I think he said his name is Nick, or Nicholas. Maybe Nicolaj?

Caroline: Yeah, OK, no problem. _______________________________________

WEDNESDAY, 3:57 PM

Javier (over text): i didn't catch you at school today, but i just wanted to apologize for last night. i had no idea rachel was going to show up

Nora (over text): don't worry about it

Javier (over text): i had a great time

Nora (over text): me too

Javier (over text): maybe we could continue our hangout some other time. this weekend?

Nora (over text): yeah Nora (over text): maybe

Javier (over text): alright then Javier (over text): see you soon, nora

Nora (over text): see you soon, javier _______________________________________

Brendon: You're doing great, mr. Ramos! Just keep following the rhythm of my bass kick.

Javier: Hey, you guys sound great! Way to go, dad!

Zane: Yeah, mr. Ramos, we're amazing with you!

Marissa: Look, Rex! Don't they sound great? _______________________________________

Nicole: Nice to meet you, mrs. Highmore.

Caroline: Please, call me Caroline. Makes me feel younger.

Nicole: I was raised to use formal forms when talking to someone older than me so I'll have to get used to that.

Caroline: You don't have to be formal with me, Nicole.

Luke: Alrighty, so-

Caroline: You're so pretty. And I love your style.

Nicole: Oh, thank you.

Caroline: I'm surprised Luke hasn't told me anything about you.

Nicole: I'm not. We only started hanging out a few days ago because we're working on a physics presentation together.

Caroline: Physics, huh? Sounds fun!

Luke: It's really fun, but-

Caroline: Would you guys like something to drink? I have to practice making cocktails for my future bar, but don't worry - I can make you something virgin!

Luke (whispering): Caroline, please...

Nicole: We're alright for now, maybe after we finish homework.

Caroline: Right! Yeah... Sorry! Homework first! You guys have fun and let me know if you need anything. I'll be around here somewhere.

Luke (whispering): Thank you.

Luke: Nicole, let's go to the kitchen.

Luke: Sorry about that, she's just really extroverted.

Nicole: She seems great, I love the fact she genuinely sounded happy to meet me. I'm not usually good with meeting moms.

Luke: We'll, Caroline is not my mom so maybe that's why meeting her went so well, haha!

Luke: Oh, God... That was mean, I'm so sorry.

Nicole: Come on, Luke, it was a good joke! Don't be so hard on yourself. I can laugh at my own expense.

Luke: I know, I'm sorry... I'm still not quite anxiety-free when I talk to you so I'm constantly scared I'll say something wrong.

Nicole: You're adorable. Let's get back to work now. _______________________________________

Felina: Ehi, ciao, Samantha!

Samantha: Hi, Felina. How's it going?

Felina: Fine. What are you reading?

Samantha: It's just a recipe book. Federico wants to add a pumpkin pie to the menu during autumn so he made this competition for us employees who's going to make the best one.

Felina: Oh, che bello! Mind if I sit down?

Samantha: Go ahead.

Felina: So... How are you? I haven't seen you since the dinner party at our house.

Samantha: Yeah, well, it was all a bit too dramatic for us so Victor and I decided to take a break from parties and other forms of gatherings. He's also been diagnosed with hypertension so we're trying not to put him in stressful situations.

Felina: Not every hangout with us is stressful, Samantha. We're good people.

Samantha: Except your sister-in-law.

Felina: No family in this town is perfect.

Samantha: I guess you're right.

Felina: I feel like something else is bothering you.

Samantha: Mostly my daughter. She has been really acting up lately and I try my best to avoid her when I see she's in one of her moods.

Felina: My daughter is also in her rebellious phase, but I'm sure it will pass. Our sons are behaving relatively okay.

Samantha: Do you have some advice?

Felina: Avoiding them won't do them any good. You never know - Rachel might be acting up because she lacks your attention.

Samantha: But whenever I try to talk to her she says she "doesn't have time for this" and leaves the room.

Felina: That doesn't mean you should also leave the room.

Samantha: Yeah, maybe...

Felina: I have to get going now, but call me if you want to talk more about this topic. I might not be the best mother in the world, but at least I can understand your struggles.

Samantha: Sure. Thanks, Felina. Sorry I didn't call you these last couple of days.

Felina: Don't worry about it. Good luck with pumpkin pie. Arrivederci! _______________________________________

WEDNESDAY, 7:34 PM

Brendon: Dude, you're dad is great, but he can't be in the band.

Zane: Yeah, man, we can't have an old man in the band. That's weird.

Oscar: Relax you two, he's only here temporary so we can hear how we sound with the bass. Also, f*ck you guys, my dad is cool.

Zane: Do we know anyone who plays bass?

Brendon: Maybe Deron plays bass.

Zane: Who's Deron? Oscar: Why Deron?

Brendon: Deron Jackson is a guy from our class, his mom is a bass player so maybe he knows a few notes.

Zane: No way, his mom is Sheena Jackson?

Brendon: Yes! Did you hear she got divorced?

Zane: Oh, d*mn! When did that happ-

Oscar: Guys! Focus!

Brendon: Wait, Zane, doesn't your mom also play bass?

Zane: No, she's a pianist. That's why I play keyboards, duh!

Brendon: I'm almost certain there was another famous bass player in our town... What about Skip's mom?

Oscar: I don't know about Skip's mom, I think you're thinking of Lily Tanner - she is Luke's mom. And I think she plays guitar.

Zane: Wait wait wait... Lily Tanner is not Skip Tanner's mom? That's f*cking up my gray matter.

Oscar: Oh, what about Nicole Mills?

Brendon: Nope. She took guitar lessons in elementary school, but doesn't play anymore.

Oscar: I'm not even going to ask how you knew that.

Zane: Maybe she could switch to bass. You know... They're similar instruments and she must have some muscle memory.

Brendon: Yeah, we should ask her! I'll go to her house and ask her right now, no problem!

Oscar: Calm down. Let's go back to Luke...

Zane: He looks like he plays cello. Or any wind instrument.

Brendon: Guys, we should stick with Nic-

Oscar: No! I'm certain Luke plays bass because I just remembered him telling that to Javier a few months ago.

Zane: OK, let's ask Luke!

Brendon: Ugh, fine. We'll have to give him a makeover then.

Zane: I agree.

Oscar: Why?!

Zane: Does Luke look like he plays in "The Crimson Echoes" to you?

Brendon: We could shave his head. That's edgy.

Zane: And get him a leather jacket.

Brendon: What about leather pants?

Oscar: Guys, STOP! I'm going to ask Luke tomorrow at school and you're not touching his appearance. Got it?

Brendon: Fine. _______________________________________

George: Nice to meet you, Nicole.

Nicole: Nice to meet you, too, mr. Highmore.

George: Are you staying for dinner?

Nicole: Oh, I wasn't really planning to. Luke and I are almost finished with our work and I'll go home right after that.

George: Alright then, but know that you're always welcome.

Caroline: Yeah, I'd like to get to know you better!

Nicole: You're too kind, thank you.

Luke: Let's finish this in my room. _______________________________________

Nicole: So, I think we have everything. We've filled the slides quota, we've covered all the basics and haven't deviated from the topic too much. I just want to check something...

Luke: You have a whole computer in front of you and you're using the textbook?

Nicole: Yeah, because I know exactly where I can find exactly what I was looking for... Here!

Luke: "Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of the mystery that we are trying to solve." Oh, wow, that's a nice quote.

Nicole: Right? We can use it for the final slide. I think our teacher would like that.

Luke: Nicole?

Nicole: Yeah?

Luke: Now that this project is over... A-Are we still going to hang out?

Nicole: Umm... Sure. Why?

Luke: Well, we haven't hung out before and our friend groups are overall pretty different so...

Nicole: I'd love to keep hanging out with you.

Luke: Really?

Nicole: Yes! I was so glad when we got that physics assignment because it was a great ice breaker to talk to you. And, judging by our interaction that night in front of Hogan's, I think you felt the same.

Luke: Y-Yeah, totally...

Nicole: I repeat, I'd love to keep hanging out with you, so call me whenever you want to do something. I mean it.

Luke: Oh, that's great!

Nicole: I have to go now, but I'll see you soon, OK?

Luke: OK! Bye, Nicole!

[bestofbothworldstour]

i find myself irritated when people i know constantly post pics hanging out with friends bc it sends the message to me I HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU DONT. I LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH THESE PEOPLE AND NOT YOU. but i think ive realized my main problem is specifically when my coworkers do this. bc they constantly hang out with each other, often in big groups comprised entirely of coworkers, but there are very few coworkers i hang out with outside of work and even then we don't hang out very often. i feel like just posting a general oh hey im hanging out with these people isnt that bad. but when youve clearly picked from a limited group of people, youre seeing whos included and who isnt. one of the hardest parts is that at work, there are plenty of people who i like and seem to like me and we chat plenty and even share interests but even those people don't include me. getting the impression someone wants to be your friend then being excluded can hurt as bad, or sometimes more so, than being excluded upfront i feel like.

there was one coworker i had who was in a very cliquey clique and she left late last year and the clique problem hasnt been as noticeable ever since she left. obvs there are still problems as its still bothering me but that made a noticeable difference. and heres the thing, she always very specifically talks about this group and its EXACT members (again, all coworkers) which i feel can be so hurtful to other coworkers, at least to me. like yah im in group chats and i hang out with those specific people but were not deliberately excluding any other specific people? not to say that like. there should never be friend groups amongst coworkers but idk my coworkers give off more exclusionary vibes than im used to.

ive been at my job for more than 3 years and some of these people in these groups have only been here for a few months like...

also, i may have talked about this on here already but with the exception of a few people, my coworkers cant even conceptualize indulging in fandom or anything like that, and im so constantly surrounded by them that its making me feel like the odd one out and i have to go out of my way to indulge in such stuff when im not at work.

its just harder than in college where all we did was what the class required. i knew very little about most of my classmates and looking back, i liked it that way!! no need for social competition or being othered, and i was still able to make plenty of friends by other means (ex. disney club where you're going into it with the knowledge that these people, to some degree, ARE like you, so you have less of a fear of being othered than you have in a more or less random group of people.)

and yah, part of it is on me to put myself out there more, but sometimes when ive tried, it hasnt gotten me anywhere. there was a girl i really liked who i had common interests with, we seemed to talk about our interests on a deeper level than she did with the people she actually hung out with, interestingly enough. but when i tried to start a friendship with her outside of work, it didnt go anywhere. she left a while ago and i recently found out she unfollowed me on insta which kinda hurt. (another coworker said she had caused some drama in her group tho so hopefully it has more to do with her than me.) another time i asked if a couple coworkers wanted to do something outside of work (again, theyd given me the impression that we like each other and share interests) and they left me on read. i really thought wed left this kinda behavior in hs but i guess not. and sure, there are people i don't wanna hang out with, but if i don't, i wouldn't give them the false impression that i do.

BOTTOM LINE, this all comes back to autism!!! ofc it does!!! and i dont mean that as in "i hate being autistic" bc i really, truly do not. if anything, i hate that other people aren't more accepting. which sounds cheesy and a common thing to say, but it truly does surprise me the lack of emotional intelligence neurotypical people seem to have a lot of the time. i like to think i socialize fairly well for the most part for an autistic person, what am i STILL doing wrong?? i ranted about this situation at work to a fellow autistic friend last summer and they said it really just all goes back to autism and honestly yah it does. i just really dont get why other people are like this.

for a while i was getting very fed up at work thinking "oh my god i have to get out of here and work somewhere else as SOON as possible" (not just for the social reasons but other reasons too) and i dont feel that way rn ill admit. i dont love it or particularly enjoy being there, but i dont think ill ever feel that way with a job. but i do think being around these types of people is having subtle and gradual negative effects on my mental health and self esteem and i want to be more cognizant of and careful with that. hopefully working remotely is in the cards for me someday, bc i feel like being exposed to other people's social lives significantly less would be really good for me. like i said, college was better in that sense, and i feel like working remotely would involve even LESS interaction with others like that.

[creatureesque]

3 and 10 for everyone on nessus for the oc ask game!

3. What does your oc look for in a romantic (or perhaps even sexual) partner? Is this always healthy?

Rodya: I feel like he's not looking for one, at least not for a romantic partner. His sexual life is kind of different though, bcuz i imagine he likes one night stands and whatnot for the instant gratification they give him. Its like he doesnt have the patience for a romantic relationship (how did even him and davey work...thats a whole another question that i really need to delve in) or more so he doesnt know what he wants bcuz he doesnt give it too much thought. Which is how he easily hurts other people who happen to be intrested in him haha

Davey: im gonna be real honest i think hes a simple man who is a friends to lovers believer. He earns for vulnerability and intimacy on all levels from platonic to romantic to sexual.

Morgan: i think shes simmilar to rodya in a way that she doesn't exactly know what she wants, but to her its very deeply rooted in her transness that she hasnt realised yet. She tried to be a gentelman, a family man even and it actually worked, and she enjoyed a lot of it but it just felt off, hollow in a way. Most of her life she performs relationships for one reason or another. So at some point she just gave up on them

Mariana: shes looking for maturity and stabilty, with its own layer of fun. She's always on the move though so she needs someone who can keep up. Luckily she found a partner like that

Fifth character that still doesnt have a name and a solid design: i think they want to someone courteous ^_^ i think theyre kind of tired of working so hard and just want someone who will sweep them off their feet

10. Does your oc have a type? Have they ever been surprised by their feelings to someone that doesn't fit this?

Rodya: i think his type is just generally dominant people. Or .....bears.... Which is why his whole relationship with morgan confuses the hell out of him but i think he just doesnt realise that he can actually be ...close friends with people..... Loving your friends is normal 😭.... But also its so complicated i cant really explain it.

Davey: considering what hes looking for in a partner i think he doesnt have a specific type visually at least. HOWEVER people with dark/brown eyes are his weakness

Morgan: I think her type if confident outgoing people . Yeah. Dont know what to add here. It might stem from her self image too

Mariana: butch women. Sorry it had to be said

Fifth character that still doesnt have a name and a solid design: butch women also. ALR im joking i think they dont have a type at least not yet theyre pretty young (not super young but still) so theyre ready for their brain to impress them . Actually wait I think their biggest thing are gnc people T4T FOREVA! (t4t applies a lot to both rodya and davey too btw IF YOU CAREEE)

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊

so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed

im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either

this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home

i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all

its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either

i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago

its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol

i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰

Hi hon!

I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 

Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.

I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 

But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 

Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3

(naming you medical anon)

[tonydaddingham]

(1/3) Coming off anon to thank you for clarifying the nicknames! I can’t believe “Every” is unrelated to “Every Day”; that’s quite the coincidence. More importantly—I read the linked post where you coined the Feral Domestic (iconic of you), and god, your early sleep-deprived impressions still resonate so hard. (ctd.)

oh. my. word. @nimpseudo!!!✨💕 hello, hi!!! thank you so much for this lovely, lovely ask!!! god, where do i start-

first of all, thank you so much for the kind words!!! this fandom is chock full of intelligent, insightful, and observant people; it's incredibly easy to stoke the imposter syndrome when writing your own meta or analysis, especially when you anticipate it might be quite controversial. everyone sees things differently, and everyone sees things differently over time, but to have a view that might just be a bit of an outlier is doubly scary. but to know that - if even only a handful of people - resonate with my ramblings truly is what makes me keep doing it. so thank you, thank you, thank you!!!✨

im certainly not the only one who feels like this about the Feral Domestic and the kiss in general. now i will admit that in this scene, i do have some aziraphale prejudice, and i can come across as quite biased towards his view of what happened. i think it might be because in the same situation, i think id do the same thing, or view it the same as i perceive aziraphale to do. but over time, my empathy towards crowley has definitely increased, certainly more than my first reaction suggested at the time i posted it; i get his perspective, his terror and fear and vehemence towards aziraphale's offer, and in his shoes id also refuse to join aziraphale.

i think what truly made me recoil tho, as i said in the post and you said in your ask, is the kiss itself. i get why he did it, i get why he was desperate and overwhelmed, but all i can see in response to that is aziraphale's reaction. whilst i see the purely emotional side of crowley kissing him - and god do i sympathise - logically it didn't prove much. aziraphale knows crowley wants to be with him, and crowley knows the vice versa (they literally said as much! that's probably one of the only points in this dialogue that they actually communicate!). the issue on both sides is the caveats - aziraphale doesn't want to run, crowley doesn't want to return. and both are completely understandable.

imo; if the kiss was meant to prove to aziraphale that crowley wanted him, wanted him to stay - well, it wasn't needed, aziraphale heard crowley all but beg him to stay. alternatively, if the kiss was meant as a "this is what you'll be missing", or "this is my goodbye", or - as i personally think - "this will make you stay"... well, these are all pretty shitty.

i do have to wonder if aziraphale has even imagined a kiss with crowley (jane austen, iirc, didn't write romantic kisses in her stories - although she did imply them - and therefore arguably a kiss wouldn't fit into his view of ideal romance... he's likely read other romance stories, but it's specifically austen's he refers to in a romantic capacity in ep2). he likely hasnt, imo, and so with this in mind, when crowley kisses him, how could he possibly see it as anything other than possession, carnal and rough, and as manipulation?

that isn't to say aziraphale isn't open to it - the ox scene and the 40s minisode certainly suggest it, as does him briefly reciprocating during the kiss itself - but it was sudden and fast and unexpected... arguably all the things that scare aziraphale. he reciprocates, but does he even see his own action as willing, or the result of a temptation? because crowley tempted him? it wasn't consensual, it wasn't discussed or eased into, and to my mind it wasnt emotionally romantic.

regardless of the extenuating emotion behind it, it was not a good move on crowley's part. manifestly, it might have even pitted aziraphale against him - aziraphale has always seen crowley as a good person, that's the whole reason behind the restoration offer in the first place... but this? this will have potentially shown to aziraphale that crowley might not be wholly who he thought he was. bad news bears.

anyway sorry, accidental analysis!!!✨ but regardless - thank you so much for being so kind to say what you have, it truly is lovely and very much appreciated. please keep sharing your own meta and analysis, regardless of reach you do or do not have; ive added on multiple posts a tag that reads "#in this house every opinion is valid if you can argue it well enough", and whilst jokey, i do hold that stance. ive rb'd and liked plenty of meta/analysis that are different to or at odds with my own, because i definitely don't think im 100% correct, and actually we all might - between us - have reached the right interpretation together, collectively. as long as it isn't outright offensive, and basically doesn't point-blank ignore the canon or narrative, i truly don't think any interpretation is cancellable if it can be backed up!!!✨💕

[cringelordofchaos]

You asked Berry this so I am asking YOU out of spite for not asking ME

YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS??

IFHASHFKAJHVKAHDKC

uhmm ill be my own attorney in the court; in my defense, your honour, i saw berry reblog a post specifically about sonic sexuality headcanons and berry shared their hcs in the tags but also put in the tags abt how their 'headcanons may change'. and i wanted to see if their headcanons changed so i asked them

ANYWAY

uhh these r all pretty much identity + nd hcs so sorry if u were lookin for more

(edit:wait actually im gonna sort this into two parts:: queer + nd headcanons and then like. backstory and personality hcs)

SONIC: adhd, used to hc him as bi ace but fuck it hes romance repulsed oriented aroace, also me likes the idea of him being genderqueer in some way, moreso specifically either transmasc nonbiney or transmasc trigender. also adhd (side note i heard someone sayhe couldnt possibly have adhd cuz "he can focus on missions" and. wjhat.) also maybe ptsd from thecountless traumatic experiences hess had to endure

AMY: sappho. i have also adhd'ed her in the past but im not so sure npw. i also saw someone hc her as bipolar and thas valid

TAILS: i know he can definitely represent as an autistic stereotypce but look at him :(( (but i genuinely think his backstory is sort of a metaphor for the nd experience. and also i think theres a lot of things that may make him autistic codedthough albeit many of them r stereotypical). special interest in engineering

KNUCKLES: bisexual as ffffff, though he doesnt give a shi abt labels

and ofc STTICKS:: demirose lesbiian. . also female but she rlly doesnt care abt gender. also autistci mayhaps

now for the more interesting hcs:

SONIC: something traumatic happened to him that made him scared of water in the first place, thas for sure methinks. he also just doesnt really show his negative emotions and he moreso just tries to 'dealw it' instead. i have headcanoned this for years as many others have and it appears to be somewhat canon in frontiers which is pretty great. he plays the electric guitar and is a pretty skilled singer and yeah. chilli dawgs r his comfort food....... loves rock electric and heavy metal and sometimes listens to it on his runs. pretty comfortable w being independent . also this is not a headcanon but i dont think his idw iteration is that out of character. he sees pretty much everyone (rivals and frenemiesalike) as friendos

AMY: has some form of abandonment issues which is what makes her as clingy as she is. generally used to feel left out and misunderstood from sonic n others in games like adventure and adventure2 but their relationshipsget better. listen. listen i heard someone on tumblr hc amy having abandonment issues and it hasnt left my miind since. she used to feel embarrassed by herself and her personality but became much more expressive of herself as time went on bc she starrted feeling more accepted. DEFINITELY writes fanfiction and fancomics and draws fanart and likes theatre(this is canoon actually). has meetings w the girlsTM where she just reads their fortune n everything. she also said in one game that she aspires to BE LIKE sonic and i have hcs abt that as well. can b mischievious and sneaky. has a tarot card reading BUSINESS this girl earns money for this !! shes very magiical girl bc she can pull her hammer out there, tell the future, turn invisible, has a 'sonic snese' but this is not a headcanon this is canon. plays the violin. loves to create fun outfits. into knitting and crocheting. . yeah i have more

TAILS: he can get pretty insecure of himself at times, heholds high expactations of himself and feels like if he doesnt meet them he might as well be a failure. ooopslol. he also hates when ppl misinterperets who he is as a person and when they undermine how skilled he is. he sometimes doesnt really let others know how he feels and hides it w a positive attitude. his gizmo is his comfort item. sonic was his first friend. the reason why he acted cocky in lost world and constantly pointed out how they shouldnt trust eggman (although it was super ooc) is bc of how insecure he was and he felt like sonic didnt trust himenough. and he feels bad abt it. hm. he also likes to draw sometimes and is generally skilled and precise, partly bc he has to draw blueprints for his creeations. one of them orphans. wags his tails/unintentionally starts flying when hes excited (stimming woag). hes not really SCARED of thunderstorms but they ARE a sensory nightmare for hiim (loud, bright/0). sonic sort of 'taught him how to make friends'. he still has cosmo in the form of a plant inside his house. he has many bunkers/ Sometimes he has a hard time accepting help (inherited from his older brotherlol). his tails are an nd allegoryOK ILL SHUT UP NOW

KNUCLES: icoud rambllea lot about him whenever im in the mood especially when i seeppl misinterperet him but i dont really have much HEADcanons bc everything i say abt him is canon

STICKS: ok this is gonna sound wild and its definitely not original but. she has abandonment/truusst issues relatedto her former parents that have something to do w the government which is one of the reasons she became so hateful of th egovenrment. dont ask (actually do if you want to). generally feels free to be herself but there are times when she feels ashamed of her wild side ig you couldcall it. very creative.

the reason why theres not shadow even though hes one of the more popular ones is bc im just not obsessed w him at the moment sorry :(

I HAVE MORE but these are all FOR NOW

now YOU TELL ME YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS SO I DONT LOOK AS DELUSIONAL [[POINTS FINGER AT YOU]]

[forestryfae]

my bitch mom who decided i needed a legal guardian (her, specifically) at 16 because iw as too mentally ill to take care of myself so she put me in an apartment all alone when i should have been in a mental health institution of some kind didnt teach me shit about finances and economics and money beyond how to pay my rent and bills and check my taxes myself despite that literally being her job refused to tell me how much money i actually had in my accounts just spent it all on whatever bullshit they needed to do renovation projects on my house despite only doing one project a year in late summer if they felt like it berated me because i wasnt at home doing anything to help them with the renovations after having told me to stay at inpatient and not come home because they were doing renovations

and upon learning that i was getting a new legal guardian she pulled ALL support from under my feet, refused to do any more renovations or finish anything theyd started, stating that she wasnt gonna help with anything unless she was my legal guardian because it was "way too hard to have to go to both of us to ask for money for renovations"

and didnt help at all with the sale of the house btw

is now saying "can you ask your dad to be kausjonist" kausjonist being that if i cant pay the bank money for the loan i got they can take money from her. which she agreed upon when i was allowed to buy the house while i was depressed and dissassociated

"can you ask your dad to be kausjonist" no i can not im not talking to that leech and even if i did hes too much of an irresponsible asshole to ever do that.

"we also need to sit down and look at the sale and loan, its a lot that youre paying a third of the salesprice" first of all she was there during the meeting between the bank, me and my legal guardian, and her. she was explained that the realtor did a lot of work for free. i also had people clear out my house, photos taken, listings, showings, the realtor did a fuckton of work and so did my legal guardian, and most of it was for free. i might be paying a lot but im not paying more than i should. im actually paying less than the work is worth.

secondly, she has no right and quite an offensive amount of audacity to even show up in my texts demanding this. not even asking, just demanding. she hasnt called, hasnt asked, hasnt been at all interested while i had my new guardian and she straight up said she didnt want to help me with the house anymore if shes not my legal guardian and said she wont be kausjonist unless i have a legal guardian, which is a bold fucking statement to make right to my face thanks, she has no right and i dont have to do ANYTHING she says

so now im just sitting here fucking enraged yet somehow numb to it, lowkey wanted to cry for a bit, shes financially fucking me over again and demanding control over a part of my life she cant be trusted to oversee at all based on her previous actions

like im gonna have to call my legal guardian and inform him of this shit cus he needs to know it too and he needs to know she doesnt have a right to anything that isnt relevant to her, but in the meantime i need to brush my teeth and take my meds and eat soemthing so i dont crash out while folding some laundry to calm down enough to be a person around other humans and not just a ball of rage

[mzhydes-funtimes]

I am really growing to start hating my younger brother

He's a spoiled lil bitch that literally doesnt care about anyone other than himself

No thanks to his father either, and its probably no help that my mother has trauma either like literally she got sexually abuse which was how i was born then my brothers father (whos a different person) and my mom had my younger brother. Now his father is rich so he controls my brothers phone and like i said yesterday he has total control over that

But im pretty sure assuming its not my mothers decision because at this point, yes he does need some form of physical punishment because he hasnt listened to anyone since like the third grade (hes in 6th now) and im pretty sure if mother would do anything his father would do something about it (something civil but they dont get along in any way) and they arent even in contact with each other and he only tells my brother when hes coming back up from texas and my brother doesnt say shit about it so no one fucking knows when hes coming up until later and by later i mean when he gets here

And now the reason im making this post:

His fucking gluttony

Liks i understand people get hungry but goddammit that doesnt mean you fucking consume everything, even shit NOT MEANT FOR YOU! Starting with exhibit a: we went to go get lunch for his birthday, yknow everyone got their own food he got what he wanted ate most of it i got want i wanted, had leftovers, i took them home and planned to eat them the next day (mind you it was an italian place so i got like a small pizza and there was like 6 slices left) and when i woke up the next morning there was 1 piece of my food left. Like 1 just one. He basically ate all of my food. He wasnt even fucking remorseful he literally only said sorry sarcastically because we asked if he was going to. Like his face was just "well its not my problem you had leftovers". Like the little bastard. Like what the fuck. Anyways on to exhibit b: so it was my mothers birthday a few days ago so she got special cupcakes. We were allowed a quarter of one day of and 1 the next day, barring any she had not tried. She hadnt tried the pink one so no one ate the pink one. Until yesterday before she got home. Guess who ate the one who was specifically told not to eat it? My fucking bitch-ass brother. She was pissed, he felt no remorse so that night to make up for it i baked cookies for her and i (also my grandmother) and not for him and i didnt tell him because i assumed he had a fucking heart and would only eat one or two because i made 24 cookies, well an hour ago when i checked on the cookies (this was after he got home from school) i had a total of 5 yesterday and today and guess how many were left?

FUCKING 4.

HE ATE A MOTHERFUCKING SIXTEEN COOKIES NOT MEANT FOR HIM

And this was over the course of 2 fucking hours

Sixteen cookies in two hours

Like. What the fuck. I swear the next time this happens im actually going to hate him.

Because i made those to make up for the fact that he ate mothers fucking cupcake.

So now im pissed and... just... fuck...

Fuck that little bastard. He does this shit all the time. So no fucking wonder why the damn doctors think i have fucking anorexia, i cant savor food because that shits going to be gone before i get a chance to. So i rush to eat and dont ever have enough for later because im so anxious that im not going to be able to eat that thing i like later