#(which is why I've been procrastinating updating those posts)

[blitzwhore]

Okay, here they are! My Stolitz Spotify playlists 🎶

[ghostoffuturespast]

Saturday Snippets + WIP Whenever

Tagged by @slayerdurge and @wanderingaldecaldo! Thank you both 🧡!

VP

I've been very leisurely doing my 2.2 CP2077 VP run, and have been having a lot of fun experimenting with the spotlights and being able to turn off the collision physics. My portrait photography game has definitely stepped up having access to spotlights.

With the ability to spawn some of the NPCs in vanilla photomode now too, my current photo project has been taking chapter fics for So It Goes, which had been something of a pipe dream until the 2.2 update. Been having fun getting creative with my staging and what's feasible given the tools I have on console. I haven't posted most of those pics on tumblr yet but they're very slowly getting added to ao3. (Also, why can we spawn Us Cracks in but not Misty?! Who made that decision?!?)

Writing

I have very little to show in actual writing at the moment largely because I've been working on final polish edits and fixes for So It Goes as well as outlining for Part 2 Electric Boogaloo (the follow up to So It Goes). Neither of which is going particularly fast due to IRL, but I'm mega excited about the outlining I've gotten done so far. It is going swimmingly. (Especially after I got rid of the thing that I kept trying to include but didn't actually fit. I should have known. My subconscious knows even if it doesn't always fill me in on things...)

Without diving too deep into spoilers, I'm incredibly pleased that I got the whole Mr. Blue Eyes conspiracy theories, Phantom Liberty, and the Biotechnica/Project Nightingale side gigs to all work together. Like seamlessly. Fucking love it when the A, B, and C plots just gel and are able to play off of each other. This is the puzzling that I live for! Going slightly off the rails reworking some of the main plot beats from the game, but the spirit of everything is still there. River's got a much larger presence in the story this time around, Grandpa's pulling no punches, I have lots of strange off the cuff surprises planned, and, bonus, no one has to wait 30 chapters for the smut.

This little snippet from an undisclosed side project is all I've got right now:

The curtains fluttered in the breeze, soft white filtering in through the windows and cutting panels across the floor. Dust motes waltzed a lazy dance in the afternoon light. The scent of fresh greenery mingled with the antique of old crafted wood, a perfume of verdant secco filling the room. Insects sang outside the walls, a trillion different symphonies distilling into a single chorus. In the era marked by disaster after climatic disaster, for once, it was the perfect spring day, the mercury hovering at sheer pleasant.

Art

And a snake doodle that I've been procrastinating on transferring to better paper to paint. Lycodon rufozonatus coiled up in the shape of a maedeup (매듭) - Korean decorative knot.

Tagging, with no pressure, to share any creative projects you've been working on! Fandom related or not. @shimmer-like-agirl @baublekute @streetkid-named-desire @techrotting @elmknight @iamtheoutsideworld @mynonsenseistingling

[wecandoit]

Hi everyone! I've been doing this challenge called 30 days of intentionality (30doi) and I thought I'd explain how I'm doing it in case anyone wants to join in! I have no prompts for this one bc it is by nature quite personal.

THE CHALLENGE

Similar to the 30 days of productivity challenge, this one is really open to interpretation. Anyone can do it and mold it however they like, I'm just here to give a little bit of guidance to those who need it.

For me, intentions include 'keeping in good health', 'studying for my dream job', 'working towards my career', 'maintaining and building good friendships'.

If you're unsure about how to format your posts, this is what i include:

- date - intentions (if you make these vague, it's a good idea to elaborate on how you plan to achieve your intentions) - a recommendation (current reads, songs, movies, videos, etc) - reflection - tags with #30doi here's an example of one of my 30doi posts for reference

other notes:

I usually update my post throughout the day, crossing out the stuff I've done and adding in a reflection before bed if i can.

You can do this challenge manually, I sometimes write my intentions down on paper for a few days and then transcribe (you don't have to transcribe)

This challenge should be for you, don't worry about posting consistently, or making your posts pretty. the important thing is that you are being intentional with your day.

Even if you don't physically post or write your intentions, try to think to yourself what they might be each day, and try your best to meet those.

Off-days are okay, in fact, they are what make this challenge a real challenge. if you're just running on the momentum of having had a perfect streak, there's no difficulty in this

Tag your posts under the tag #30doi so that others can see your posts and interact (including me)

if you want a reblog, i track the tag #heydilli which can be used for non-challenge posts too

That's all I can think of for now, but like I said, the 30doi is open to interpretation and i am by no means taking credit for 'creating' the challenge. like i mentioned for the 30dop, i don't really believe these challenges can be created. Below the cut is a rant about intentionality and my reasons for doing this challenge if you want to have a read.

Hope to see your posts and progress, xx dilli 🤍

What is intentionality?

We all know what intentions are—your purpose and meaning behind doing something. Intentionality is bigger, it is "the structure which gives meaning to experience." Intentionality is your capacity to have intentions. Having intentions governs how you perceive every experience you have. Take this example: if your intention for tonight is to wind down and relax, settling down in front of the TV will be viewed as a way to rest, reset, recover. If however, your intention for tonight is finish up uni work, watching TV will be viewed as a way that you procrastinate and avoid doing your work. Your perception of anything, then, is informed by your intentions. Without intentions, anything that you do can seem pointless. I often have a never-ending list of assignments, but if I don't actively intend to do work, watching Youtube all night doesn't seem like a bad thing—after all, it's not like I intended to do anything else with my time.

Why am I doing this challenge?

Lately I find myself moving through my daily routine rather mindlessly. I do a bit of schoolwork here, a bit of mindless scrolling there, but I don't really know why I'm doing these things. I have goals that I'm working towards, but they seem distant and unaffected by my day-to-day choices. In reality, though, the choices that I make every day are what determine whether I reach my goals, where I will be and what kind of person I am in five or ten or however many years. By setting intentions, I will make it clear what I should be doing and why it is important that I do it. The idea is that by merely logging my intentions and results over these 30days, I will subconsciously be predisposed to fulfil those intentions

Read more about intentionality here

[morningstar-warriors]

It's Been Awhile

So I haven't been posting here much, admittedly I've been keeping my paws of social media for awhile to save my sanity. Not to mention tumblr no longer works on my phone, just endlessly crashes. Alas! No tumblr on my phone??? What should I do??? Pick up a healthy habit? ACK!

Either way, I told my followers and discord members I'd start posting little update blogs and since tumblr was where I'd originally done so, I'll keep it up.

What Has Danny Been Up To..?

Well mostly writing, editing, writing, work, editing, hiding from life, writing writing writing... A bit of drawing too but right now I feel like my art is just a tool for my writing. You get the picture.

Book Updates & Inner Turmoil:

I've been updating the Playbooks, refining them a tad more to feel more like my day dreamy visions while also tightening up wording and mechanics. I'm not sure how tight they'll be considering I love me a floaty soft rule, but I want the common cat to read it and get it. I think I'm having fun with it again, which is good.

Admittedly I hardcore procrastinated on working on the Kittypet and Rogue Playbooks. I felt a hard wall of... Burn out? Terror? Stagnation? Not sure, but I remember feeling like writing was not where I wanted to put my energy. Got this bad thing where, if I don't want to, I WONT.

I think what was stopping me was the social media attention. I felt stressed but amazed by all the eyes it was getting. Its good, so many people are inspired. But with people comes critique, envy, odd treatment, and other funny emotional things.

Man. How do you handle all that? Especially with the prospect it may only grow? Well in my case, feel embarrassed and guilty for not being grateful. Then sit in a bathtub till the water grows cold looking at messy notes about a cat using their cuteness to blow up the bad guy, followed with "Or smth idk." Great! Good notes.

But those days have waned and now I'm back on the horse, smile on my face and keyboard loudly clacking.

I think I just finally told myself "This is a hobby you do for fun, so if you're not having fun you can take a break." gave myself permission. If you need to hear that too, then hear it. Anyways though--

Ritualists are getting the biggest revamp so far, if you were curious. Though its nothing supremely crazy.

Croweye

New Moon:

New Moon has ended its filming! The game for me, is officially over. It was the first game I ever completed as a GM. If you take a look through this blog you will see just how LONG it lasted. Not to mention my poor players went through every mechanic change under the sun.

Looking back at those old posts were what made me want to go back and write the occasional update blog. I'm honestly proud of my friends and I, and how far we've all come. I really couldn't have done it without a group of goof balls making the ugliest gingerbread cookies ever.

New Moon's final episode will be released to the public either late April or the beginning of May. I plan to slow my videos to once a month ideally after the last episode is posted, because I'm working on another project already and I want it to be good.

Buttermoss & the Torch

The New Project:

I can't say much, but it's the next campaign to be recorded. Its what is presently eating up my note books, sketch books, media intake, and I have only told two people about it. Truly about it. Its driving me nuts because I have such a clear vision, the things I have so far are AWESOME. The things I have planned are ambitious, but they make me smile. I want to challenge myself a little. I probably shouldn't say much else though.

I promised myself I wouldn't let it slip. So you're just gonna have to wait.

I do plan on leaving clues when it gets time to release the project. But I am going to pre-record several episodes and edit them before they ever see the light of day. So you'll all have to wait for awhile lol.

Next Time

I do want to go more in-depth about why I made certain changes to the playbooks, but I've gotten pretty good at just being tight lipped so, next time. Thanks for your patience and interest.

Morningstar

[ros3ybabe]

Where Have I Been?

hello lovelies. so, I started the challenege, did one day, and all of a sudden I feel off the face of the earth. I fell into a bit of a depression, and while I've managed to pull myself out, life has been busy busy busy! This is probably the 2nd busiest week of the year (the 1st will be in August, and you'll find out why). Here's an update on life:

I fly to Colorado on the 16th, so....under 5 days now. I haven't packed or anything yet, but I plan on doing that either tomorrow or Thursday. And I have to clean and prepack for when I return because....

I signed a new lease for a new place to live! I'll have roommates who I haven't met yet (I'm taking over someone lease, actually), but my lease starts August 18th. I return from Colorado on the 14th of August, so....I'm going to be very busy once I return.

I decided to call it quits on getting a 2nd job. It's going to mess up the schedule with my first job, and it would only make me 200$ more a month, which I'm not worried about missing our on since I'll still sell stuff on depop once I return from Colorado and I'm going full time at my current job.

I've gone out to lunch with my dad a few times as well, it's been really nice hanging out with him and spending time with my dad. I lucked out in the dad department and spending time with him is one of my favorite things!

I've been debating going to San Fransisco in October for an XG concert, but I don't know if I'll have the money or ability to anymore. (thank you new apartment and all those fees and expenses!)

my anxiety has been terrible. I haven't changed anything about what I do, but I did squish a lot of anxiety inducing things into the span of two weeks, which....my bad on that. Now I know, don't do that to myself.

I bought new makeup! The juvias place bronzer, charlotte tillbury setting spray, nyx eyebrow stuff, and blush, ughhh I love buying new makeup, I just wish it didn't cost money!

I've gotten better at doing my makeup! I've had people not even notice I'm wearing it because it looks natural despite being like, a full face! Thank you perfect color matches on my skin tint, foundation, and concealors!

I went to two movies with a friend. We saw the new Strangers: Chapter One and the Planet of the Apes movie. Both were definitely good, in my opinion.

I now have to plan with my boyfriend for when he needs to come down here and get his stuff and work out changing the utilities to our roommates name since I'm leaving. I don't feel like it should be my job to coordinate that, but oh well. I guess it's too hard for him and his best friend (my roommate) to call each other for once?? Ugh, men get on my nerves sometimes.

I need to ask my dad and a friend to help me move upon my return, which also means I won't be able to work that weekend, which kind of sucks.

I need to declutter my room and start throwing away things I don't want or need anymore this week to make it easier on myself when I return from Colorado but hahaha I procrastinate a lot.

I'm stressed about paying rent. I'll have to pay rent for here and rent/fees for the new place before august and then September's rent for the new place, and my new rent is about double what I pay now. so yayy, adulting and finances. I don't feel qualified to be an adult, but here I am, age 21, an adult.

That's about it for now! Lots of stress, lots of anxiety, lots of stuff happening super close together. But that's life, I guess. Forgive me for my absence from my blogs. I also stopped studying spanish for now, and my routines are non-existent. Colorado will change that, tho, for sure. I do plan on updating a little more frequently once things settle down when I'm in Colorado. but for now, it'll be kinda here and there with my posting.

thank you for all the patience and kindness, lovelies. til next time 🩷

[tgmsunmontue]

What to write weekend...?

Friday afternoon again, start of my weekend (although, I schedule this post, so I am usually still working when this appears). I've got my usual adulthood stuff happening over on main. It's nowhere near as interesting or fun as deciding what fics people would like me to dedicate some words towards them this weekend.

I do have to work this Saturday, also my kids are leaving for 8 days away to stay with family, so my Saturday is pretty much a write-off, but I need to have something to aim for.

NUMBERS:

Online and Anonymous - 13/16 Hangster who are anonymous Grindr buddies for YEARS. (Tumblr post)

Sagas of Solitude 5/? - IceMav with side Hangster AU - angsty Nepo!Baby

CURRENT LETTERS:

A, B, C, D, E, G, H, I, J, K, L, M (descriptions under the Read More)

If your curious about wordcounts etc. I have a spreadsheet here.

As it's been nearly a month since I've done this, here's an explanation of how it works:

You pick 1-3 of the above and either:

reply

Message

Send an ask (Anon is on)

with the letters/Numbers of the fic/s you wish would hurry up and get finished/posted already. (Yes, you can pick the same one three times - some of these fics are that close to getting parts/chapters finished that would be enough to tip them over, you also don't have to pick more than one).

Numbers indicate fics I am consciously working on updating/completing, and likely have a completion date in mind.

Letters are fics that are often getting completed because people ask for me to work on them through things like this. (I usually do this every weekend).

Doing this keeps me on task and makes me accountable. It stops me from procrastinating and I really appreciate people providing their numbers.

THANK YOU!

A) Upon which our souls touch - 2/? - Hangster TGM AU involving dragon riders and shape shifters and fantasy...

B) Bradshaw Twins - Hangster (Tumblr post)

C) To wake, perchance to dream - 2/? - Hangster Jake wakes up in the future, gets a glimpse of what their life could be and then wakes up back right before being called back to Top Gun for the special detachment (e.g. TGM). (Tumblr post and the beginning of the fic)

D) Together or not at all... (SEQUEL) - Hangster - years after Javy/Nat get together they think their best friends (Hangman and Rooster) could maybe try dating each other. It'll either end in disaster or not.

E) Cyclone/Maverick - Cyclone is struggling to deal with being attracted to the most annoying person he's ever met. Why does he like him so much?

G) Celebrity Chef Bradley

H) From the top - 1/? - an Ice/Mav epistolary fic where Jake and Bradley matchmake them, not realising exactly who it is they've matched together.

I) Life is too short to waste time matching socks... 3/? The peach and eggplant socks as an anonymous gift as an incredibly unsubtle hint that someone would like to fuck them. (tumblr idea unspooling here...)

J) Barista Jake who cannot spell Bradley's name. (HERE)

K) Caring, Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide - 4/?Transformers cross-over.

L) Hangster Soulmates, Bodyguard (leftover from the Bingo...)

M) IceMav Florist/Undercover Agent AU (also leftover from Bingo)

Those of you that know I put stuff down here, or follow me on my main, know that I've been in a weird place mentally the last couple of weeks, seem to be coming out of it. Getting things done at work and around the house are helping.

Personal writing goals for the weekend:

Finish my Secret Santa piece (which I really don't like, my first and last fest piece, I swear - it's like drawing blood from a stone and one definitey one of the reasons why I've been in a funk writing wise).

Online and Anonymous Chapter posted!

250 words on each of my Glee WIPs, poor neglected things that they are.

[olldtimerbuckley]

Hey new fan here! Just finished all 12 chapters of “I Will Follow You into the Dark” and was curious if you ever plan on getting back to it? If not totally cool! I’ve loved everything else you’ve written but I’m just curious! It’s one of my favorite pieces of fanfic I’ve ever read!

First off, thank you so very much for reading and letting me know you enjoy my fics! I know it's not the most mainstream ship, so it feels extra special to me every time someone connects with any of my works! 😊

Okay, now onto the meat and potatoes: My "Sweeter Than Heaven, Hotter Than Hell" series is far and beyond the work I'm most emotionally invested in, not only because it had rotted in my brain for almost three years before I actually started writing it, but because (underneath the copious amounts of filthy fucking smut) it's what makes The Last of Us so special to me -- Joel and Ellie taking on the world together. These two are the heart and soul of the franchise and this is the hill I will be buried on.

Currently there are 3 major reasons why it is STILL on hiatus:

1. I need to replay Part 2.

"I Will Follow You into the Dark" is more or less a part 2 canon divergent rewrite, and while it's far and away from a scene-by-scene retelling, there are some setting details I want to get right in my descriptions. Oh, and nailing the overall tone of the game as far as dread and rage going forward in the story is extremely important to me.

I started and abandoned the second game a few times last year 🙃 BUT I'm happy to say this time around I'm playing it with an emotional support friend who I can trade the controller off to when things start getting too intense (sidenote: the jump from part 1 infected to part 2 infected is HORRIFYING, why do they sound like that??? 😩) We actually just left off in the game where a lot of chapter 13 will take place: the TV station in Seattle. Soooo progress? I'm getting there!

2. Re-reading/editing all 100,816k words I've posted so far.

As much as I adore this series, most of it was not beta read, and coming across mistakes I've made on work I've already posted is literally mortifying. Now that season 2 has started, I'm sooo tempted to just pick it up again without revisiting it, but there are chunks of it missing my from memory so I'm a bit wary. Last month I had a commenter say something like "I loved when *this* happened in chapter 9!" but l literally didn't remember it at all 😅😭 I'm torn on this one, honestly.

3. I want it to be ✨️perfect✨️.

Which is not possible. Logically, know this. Nothing is perfect. But GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I want it to be perfect so bad it's lowkey paralyzing. I think letting go of this a little bit and reminding myself that the point of writing (for me) is to get the fucking story out of my head and clear up space for other things. But also I am so unhealthily attached to this fic that it's gonna feel like a real loss when it's over...so maybe I am procrastinating a little. (A lot.)

Anyway, these are the main excuses reasons why it hasn't been updated in over a year. A lesser reason (that I'm almost tempted to omit because it's just so insanely small and petty) is that I had a massive reader drop-off after my first work that made me question my writing abilities. Obviously I write for myself first and foremost, but it was a disheartening shift when I felt like I was pouring so much of myself into it. I've since hidden my stats and just vibe off the sense of accomplishment and sweet as fuck comments/messages I receive 😘

Reading that "IWFYitD" is one of your favorite pieces ever??? So fucking motivating. Really kicked me in the ass. In the wise words of @typewriter83 -- "I write for myself and maybe 6 people". And I'm pretty damn lucky to count you among one of those hypothetical 6 😉

I'm sure you weren't expecting this word vomit of an essay, but I've honestly been wanting to post about this for a while now, and this question gave me the perfect opportunity to get it all out! As far as physical progress, I have chapters 13&14 roughly written, and I remember exactly where I left things off in chapter 15. I don't plan on ever abandoning it completely.

Lastly, can I just say the way you went about asking was so respectful and kind, it warms my heart? 🥹 Seriously, you're so sweet; reading this felt like eating cotton candy 💖 Have the wonderful morning, day, and night you deserve!!!

[oni-odyssey]

Manfred Papercraft WIP #01

I'm chipping away at designing a Manfred figure with interchangeable hands for playing Rock Paper Scissors. I've never done anything like this before and discovering that... this shit hard.

I've worked with creating low poly 3D models yeeeaaarrs ago, and because I don't have a PC strong enough to run 3D software anymore I thought, well? Papercraft could be fun? Very time consuming. When the proportions are off it's not like I can just drag a poly to make it look better - I have to DRAW THE SHAPE AGAIN and hope I planned it right. I don't really know what I'm doing so it takes hours iterating on one thing over and over until it looks okay-ish.

I'm taking notes on my progress so far but now I want to try blogging in better detail what I'm doing so I can review it later and share some updates? I... i wanna post more stuff to this blog, but only rarely do I ever have finished things to upload... so I'm gonna post about this 🫠

okay so I started with his hands back in mid January. I got his 3 hands (rock, paper and scizzy) to a finished-ish state - I'll readjust once I've progressed on his body more to see how they fit.

I didn't time how long that all took. But! I decided keep track of how long it takes for the other segments.

Yesterday I started working on the skull.

Initially I was going to have the skull split in to two segments - upper skull and bottom jaw, then glue on his facial features like nose hole and goggles.

Building his upper skull went from complicated shape to simplified planes (idk I couldn't get the shape I wanted so I removed some polys - and idk what to even call those in papercraft? corners?) which is why I planned to have the two shapes to paste together. That ended up looking crap anyway, so after designing the bottom jaw shape which was stiff and chunky-looking, I went with a simpler dangle piece. I'm trying to go for a jaw yapping thing. He's such a fun lil guy so I want there to be a little fun movement to his face, even if it's really subtle.

5.5hrs ...yeeesh. I haven't even done the gem goggles yet. Still so much to go. I'm gonna remove the sides of his jaw - I wanted them to connect to the side of his skull somehow but I think I'll tinker with a separate flat shape to paste on. Rejected shapes for that are the blurry triangles in the above pic.

Future progress on him will be slow goings, I've got a few other things I need to work on in the meantime and hbbbpp i've been really struggling with procrastination the past few weeks. If I can complete some of the other projects, then I will work on Manfred some more. Because as arduous as this all is, this has been SO FUN PAPERCRAFT FEELS SO REWARDING

[haute-kewture]

The energy is low

This week, my creative energy has been running a bit low. I'm not lacking inspiration by any means but rather reaching for my projects has been slow and whilst I knit a couple of rows here and there, I've found myself just resting and sitting still whilst watching TV instead.

I have been loving the Wallgren podcast, she weaves, sews and knits and really talks about creating in a beautifully passionate way. The complex patterns she enjoys making are beautiful and her voice is quite a calm tone and her pace of speaking moderate and balanced.

So when I have been reaching for my projects, it has been with the goal of finishing my Badger Sweater I'm finally on the cuffs, and then will be able to bind off and block and see how truly oversized cosy it will be. I did a mid-project block of the colourwork and it was still right on gauge, so I'm hopeful this will hit around my hip line once blocked. I am an aggressive blocker, which means I will pin the garment into submission if it isn't reaching the dimensions I need... rightly or wrongly...

Enjoy an additional close up to see the chocolate brown and 'oat' colour by Cascade 220 - photos haven't been edited and are taken in natural morning light

Lastly, here's how my test knit for the Nikola Sweater by Vert and Rose Knitting is progressing. I'm struggling to motivate myself to finish. There's nothing wrong with the pattern, it's more because I know I "have to" do something and so I procrastinate its completion... I told myself this weekend would be dedicated to completing the sleeves - which to be honest, should not take ages to finish as it's an aran/worsted weight pattern.

BUT I've been in and out of the house so I've had the perfect excuse to manage any minor feelings of guilt - for not setting time aside to finish these sleeves. I also know this is entirely not my style and because it's intended as a gift, I guess maybe that's also why I'm dragging my feet a little.

I want it to be ready for the recipient for their birthday (which aligns with the deadline for testing) - but also because it's not 'for me' - that eagerness one feels to 'finish the product to wear it', isn't there.

Inspiration Collection

On top of this, last week after I posted my update on what I'm update, I went into my studio (read spare bedroom) and tidied up my yarn. I've stopped calling it my 'stash' because I want to remind myself that it's my source of creativity. It's my collection for inspiration - rather than a hoard of materials that one forgets about or changes their mind on.

I have gone through all the stages of acquisitions from FOMO at a yarn festival (you know those sweater quantity ('SQ') or hand-dyed skeins that looked beautiful and you didn't know you'd find again...) to FOMO from shop updates during preorders... (we have a lot of unspun because of this) to "I'll buy SQ because I know I'll use this, I just don't know the pattern yet". Part of reorganising has been to visually layout my collection based on colours and tones to help display my materials like a 'shop'. This is going to help me walk in and 'shop' from my collection first before opting to buy. Having said this, I picked up a couple of colour variations (2) from Knitting for Olive from a Local Yarn Shop - because I spotted Brown Bear and Dark Petroleum Green which could be great substitutes in the Iris Sweater, which I talk about in my first post.

[amadeusgame]

The World's Longest And Most Sentimental Development Log (Marketing Retrospective)

It's been a month since the demo release, and Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee ~  Episode 1 ~ Waltz has just reached 100 wishlists on Steam. I'm incredibly grateful for the support and interest.

Because this has been the month following a major release, most of my efforts have been focused on communications as opposed to development. I still want to discuss these efforts, both as a retrospective for my own reference, and in case anyone else finds it enlightening. This was meant to be a short and to-the-point marketing discussion, but it accidentally... and inevitably... transformed into something incredibly long and sentimental.

The long and short of it is that I've had an overwhelmingly successful month by my standards. Discussing marketing means I have been analyzing why that is. In doing so, I slowly became aware of just how much of my entire life has been building up to this.

I originally planned to mention other things in this update... discuss the recent demo livestream, announce an upcoming "100 wishlists" celebration... but those no longer really suit the tone of this update. I will post about them another time. I wasn't prepared to celebrate 100 wishlists this quickly, anyway! I had no idea I would get that much in the first month! I'm not ready to make that announcement! I would like to do something appropriate for this milestone, so please give me some more time to put proper thought into it.

You can reference here for the livestream video and other resources: https://linktr.ee/amadeusgame

I don't expect very many people to read the rest of this. But I am writing it anyway because it's important for me to express. And if you got anything out of the Amadeus demo, you probably got the fact that I am a bit of a long-winded and sentimental person. Bearing that in mind...

On Marketing Amadeus

Overall, I tried a lot of different things—many of which flopped—based on the question "what kind of communications would I like to see, as an audience?" Some combination of all of these somehow worked. I don't think it is particularly useful to try and pinpoint what specific individual things made Number Go Up the most, because the real takeaway was that I put enough messages out in enough places that over 100 real actual human beings came across them and were interested in what I am making. That number is probably tiny to people trying to earn a living in games, but as someone just hoping to get my art out there... the number 100 is significant and motivating.

I am happy to share the things that I've tried, and my impressions of how well they worked for my situation and purposes. Before that, though, I must stress that having assets to share in these communications in the first place was an invaluable step, especially since visuals and aesthetics are a very core part of my game.

Creating Marketing Assets

(When uploading a game to Steam, there are approximately 8 million different aspect ratios and dimensions you need to create branding assets for, so I chopped that source poster up into different pieces and spent about a week just making different combinations of them to suit various needs.)

Again: I was not thinking ahead to the Steam page when I drew this in October, not really. I was just drawing something that I wanted to draw, inspired by art that inspired me. If I hadn't indulged that desire and "procrastinated" a bit, I wouldn't have the assets to advertise the game when it came time for launch! This is something that I've experienced again and again throughout the process of development: making things for fun, doing things on impulse, taking breaks and indulging whims... many of these activities somehow end up being essential for the game. If I had refused that self-indulgence to focus on Important Development Stuff, I wouldn't have the cool piece of art I needed to successfully advertise the finished game on launch. Moreover, the final art in the game would not be as good, because I wouldn't have gotten ideas about art direction from making this poster.

(Also... I wouldn't have had as much fun making the game. Since this game's budget is $0 and all of my free time, it REALLY matters that I am having fun while making it.)

Even more important than these visual assets, though, was the trailer. How many games have I checked out just based on the trailer? I recently purchased Raging Loop on Steam, a game I have been considering for months, because I finally watched the trailer and realized "okay, this game is me-core." The trailer is so important. It's not about how pretty the trailer is; it's about whether the trailer shows me a game that I, in particular, want to play. I don't know who my audience is, but considering my goals and inspirations, I think it is something along the lines of "hipsters who love some combination of Umineko, werewolves, and unique aesthetics." So I needed a trailer that would connect with those people. A trailer that, if I watched it, would make me realize hey, this game is me-core.

Making a trailer is its own skillset, though! Completely separate from game development. Communicating something in video form is different than communicating it in another medium.

Fortunately... I have actually done a lot of just-for-fun video editing projects very recently! I edited together a "trilogy" out of roadtrip camcorder footage I took, and also put together the video for an audio-visual collab album. I already have tools and a workflow that I like to use.

I am developing a game, but it has helped me so much to have experience making a stupid trilogy of camcorder footage roadtrip videos.

I worked on those video editing projects because they were fun. I had absolutely no ulterior motive. In doing so, I still gained an important skill that transferred directly to marketing Amadeus. As someone who has always struggled to focus on just One Thing, it's incredibly affirming to realize that having done a lot of random stuff is actually really helping me as a solo game developer. I feel like I've finally found an art form where this is an important skill, and not a hindrance or distraction.

So... well, I suppose this means that I have no useful advice for other developers. I want to be honest about my experiences, and my experiences are that I only was able to prepare good marketing assets for Amadeus because I did a lot of for-fun art projects outside of game development. From my perspective, this is amazing news: it tells me that allowing myself space to be an artist and a person outside of this project has actually helped make the project itself better. It tells me that there are no downsides to being experimental and giving time to other projects too. But to anyone reading this hoping for some advice on putting together marketing assets, I'm sure it's the least helpful or relatable thing in the world. I'm sorry about that.

Getting the Word Out

Once the demo released, it became a matter of presenting the materials I had in the right ways, and in the right places. This is what I have been spending most of my waking hours doing this month. A non-exhaustive list of everything I've tried:

E-mailed all of my professors from grad school whose courses influenced my compositions for the game in some way. (This wasn't so much about the numbers, it was just motivating to get nice comments back. :D)

Joined a few Discord servers for communities dedicated to indie game developent; tried to engage in meaningful conversations there and check out other games while also sharing my own work. (I'm asking others for a favor, to take a look at my work, so I try to check out theirs too in return.)

Posted the trailer on the Visual Novels subreddit. (This flopped.)

Posted weekly* on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and a few other places. (This has been the bulk of my ongoing communications; see below!)

Posted on a forum I joined last year to discuss music composition.

Found and followed a lot of other indie game devs making things that interested or excited me.

Shared it in a Discord server I moderate** as a "creative mod." (I host monthly art-focused events, curate spaces for sharing art, etc.; see below.)

Shared it with basically all of my friends! Especially friends who are also artists and creators!

To sum, I used every single available avenue to talk about it. But I really need to expand on the two points bolded and asterisked above. I have something additional to say about them, and I cannot overstate how much it matters.

*Weekly Posts

As indicated, ongoing weekly posts on various platforms are the meat of my marketing. I post regularly, but it's really important to me to not just post the same stuff all the time and annoy everybody. I try to highlight different aspects of the game each time, use different framing, and do a variety of weird and silly stuff. Some things perform unexpectedly well and others are complete flops. But I think it's been key to not be afraid of failure and just try things. That way it's still interesting to the people who already checked out the game, while hopefully reaching new eyes too!

(Full disclosure, however: sometimes I will do something that has 0 chance of doing numbers, just because I think it would be a fun thing to post. Since I am completely self-motivating on this project, I have to do things that are self-indulgent, or I will burn out. So, hypothetically, I might be compelled to, say, post a photo taken on an Instax analog camera of the game hooked up to a CRT TV.)

(Step 1 of marketing is to have fun and be yourself?)

BUT ALSO!

AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS POST!!

I only have any sort of audience on these platforms because of other, unrelated things I've been doing for years. I met a LOT of people on Twitter and Instagram through cosplay and Tales of Symphonia speedrunning, who stuck around somehow. I met some people on Tumblr from recent Ghost Trick ROMhacking, and others from Homestuck meetups in 2012. I met people on Discord from a forum about video games I joined in 2006. I was already connected with a lot of like-minded people to share my game with! I know—I KNOW—that this is something that is only easy to say in retrospect, but: doing stuff and meeting people over the course of a lifetime has added up. I hope that this will continue to be true, and maybe some people who find me through Amadeus will stick around for whatever comes after, once I've fully completed the 5-episode story I have to tell here. And I will see it through.

So, please bear this in mind when reading about how I promote my self-indulgent game every week on Instagram. I did not attend Anime Expo 2015 in order to build an audience for the visual novel I would make 9 years later. I was just meeting and connecting with other cosplayers, because I thought I would still be doing cosplay indefinitely. But many of those connections have persisted over the years, and some of those people are interested in my game. None of this seemingly-unrelated life experience is wasted. In the words of one of my teachers from grad school, "it's an accumulated life." I have ended up somewhere unexpected, and I did not plan to end up here, but all of those past experiences were still a part of getting me to where I currently am.

**Discord Server Mod

I want to highlight this particular place where I've promoted my game, because it's important in a way that connects with basically all of my rambling above. I want to make it clear that absolutely everything that went well this past month started so much longer ago than that.

In this point, I am not saying "step 1 of indie game promotion: simply have been a creative events moderator on a Discord server for years first!" as this is incredibly useless advice. Hear me out for a moment.

About 2 years ago, there was no "creative events" moderator on this particular Discord server. It was mostly a space to talk about video games with friends. You could also post art there if you wanted, and you might have gleaned a react or two.

Also about 2 years ago, I began to think very deeply about my relationship with art and the internet. When I was a tweenager, there was this video game forum—a forum that migrated to the Discord server in question recently—where you could post your art (usually video game fanart, but could be anything), and the moderator would always engage with it and provide meaningful, thoughtful feedback. That space is one of the biggest reasons I drew so much when I was younger, and worked so hard trying to learn how to draw and shade and color better, because I wanted to have my efforts praised, and I knew they would be.

2 years ago, I desperately needed a space like that again. Lacking one, I decided to pick up the torch left behind by the moderator from my tweenage years, and become the person who would always, always provide thoughtful engaging feedback when people posted their work there. Literally some "be the change you want to see in the world" shit. I knew that someone else doing that for me fundamentally altered the course of my life, so I wanted to try and be that for others if possible. More selfishly, I hoped that this would also create the much-needed space for me to share my work and get feedback and responses, too.

Now, about 2 years later, that channel is pretty active. People regularly share their creative works, and it is one of my favorite places to post my own stuff because people are really good about engaging with each other's stuff there. It's been one of the most important places for me to share progress on Amadeus, because that external motivation helps a lot. And once the demo came out, I have absolutely no doubt that this server was a significant proportion of the initial support and momentum it received on launch.

I did not even have so much as a delusion of being a game developer when I made these changes in the Discord server. I was working in IT and considering applying to music school. I just wanted to build a community around art.

So, why am I writing about my 2-year journey as a Discord mod in my development update about marketing? Hopefully it makes a bit more sense now. I'm really trying to emphasize that the marketing I did this past month didn't start last month. It started 2 years ago on this Discord server, it started in 2006 when I joined that video game forum. Really, my marketing efforts have gone as well as they have because—whoops, I am tearing up writing this—I have made a lot of incredible connections in a lot of communities over the years, and now that I have something very important to me that I want to share, they have really helped support it. I've had some friends go so far above and beyond what I would ever ask them to do in sharing my game, and that kind of support just... I can't put a number on it; it's invaluable.

In Conclusion

Go to conventions and meet cosplayers. Speedrun a 6-and-a-half-hour-long JRPG from 2003 on Twitch. Join a forum and when it migrates to Discord, organize art events and comment on other people's work. Draw self-indulgent stuff and make silly roadtrip videos scored with Logic Loops. Make 90% of a ROMhack of a Nintendo DS game. Get completely obsessed with other visual novels on itch.io and write essays in their comments.

My name is Leo, and my marketing advice is You Only Live Once. I hope this helps. Have a wonderful evening and I look forward to presenting you with a more coherent update next month.

[spectralstitions]

ocs are happening my fellas

Oh gosh I feel like I already went on a gigantic infodump on instagram about this but I need to procrastinate from entering painting hell so HERE I AM!!!

Anyways as per one of my recent blog posts I've been feeling kinda pigeonholed with my ocs lately and I haven't been having a lot of fun with them. So I've decided to just LET MY IDEAS FLOW BABY!!! And do what feels right. AS SUCH! SOME CHANGES ARE TAKING PLACE! Including the introduction of the littlest guy of all time. BIRDLAY!!!!! Finlay's got a magic cloak that lets him turn into a ittle bird. This solves multiple problems for me, including: i see him with a cape but how could he fly while wearing one? and, how could he wear those fruity little shoes if he has bird feet all the time? That is correct dear reader Finlay has reverted to elf boy form. Just when you thought I was over giving all my characters elf ears THEY'RE BACK BITCHES!!!!!

As for Silas, I've decided to FOLLOW MY HEART!!!! Which is very on theme for him. And make him a prince again lol. Not in a super duper literal way but more like how bambi uses the prince of the forest title. I'm still working out the kinks (or rather, procrastinating from working out the kinks) but he's probably part spirit. Him being a runaway prince opens up so many more plot / conflict possibilities so that's helpful for me. His working title is the prince of darkness because that's so fairytale-edgy in the way I love. A more fitting title would probably be the prince of stars. Too bad it doesn't feel as right!!!!! I've also consistently used lantern prince / prince of lanterns on him even when he wasn't a prince... which could be something I suppose. I dunno, I need more music to think of Silas lore to, but in the meantime I've had fun figuring out his design! I wanted something kind of imp-like. And I'm keeping with his visual motif of looking like a shadow.

I'm still thinking about making Silas autistic, or at least keeping it open, but it is tricky because he is inherently a very naive type of character and I don't want to chance anyone having the takeaway that his naivety is because of autism. I want to work with it as more of an additional reason he feels alienated from his peers and why he connects with Finlay (an adhder) so much better. Regardless I do love giving him raptor hands and other weird body language quirks of mine lol. And I figured out the shorthand for that hand pose finally, so expect more art showcasing that pfft.

Re that little comic at the end, I made that off the cuff because I wanted to draw Silas and Bird Finlay together after giving them those updated designs. They're just my little sillies........... I will keep this blog posted with any future ideas I feel good about. I have a few neat concepts brewing but I don't want to jinx myself lol

[bots-and-cons]

Another update and kinda venting lol

As usual, I'm gonna put the update thing here, so you don't have to look for it. So, it's probably been over a week since I last posted at this point, but I'm trying to work on a new post. I have like three WIPs for this blog and two for the other one, so it's not that I haven't been writing, it's just that I can't finish anything, which is annoying. I'm gonna try to post tomorrow though, because I hate when I go over a week without posting. It still happens a lot though...

Venting starts here, just me yelling into the internet void...

When I started my first writing blog (@herofics) back in June of 2017, I used to post twice a day. TWICE A DAY, for months probably closer to a year, I'm not really sure. I've just been thinking that it was an absolutely insane thing to do, and I have no idea how I managed it while I was so badly depressed. Nowadays, I post maybe once or twice a week, three times if I'm really motivated and have a lot of time and inspiration. I can't even imagine how crappy those posts were tbh, I didn't put much time into them and I just wasn't as good at writing as I am now. I've improved so much and I'm so happy about that.

I was supposed to get myself another practical training position for the fall, but I haven't gotten around to it. I was actually supposed to do it in May and let my class's tutor teacher know before she started her vacation at the beginning of June, but guess who has still not done that... I honestly fucking hate that I procrastinate so much, like why can't I just do stuff immediately or at least in a timely manner. Nope, I'm here two months later, complaining on the internet and still not just doing it. I honestly just feel so overwhelmed by the whole thing. I got so exhausted during my first practical training in the spring, and those were like five-hour days. I have no idea how I'm supposed to survive eight weeks with five eight-hour days each, and manage school on top of that, like just fuck me, I'm not built for that. I've honestly been thinking that I probably can't manage full-time work once I graduate, if I graduate...

I'm 24 and I can't drive either. It gives me such horrific anxiety and pretty much an instant panic attack if I even try. On top of that, I honestly don't want to drive, because I'm terrified I might act on my intrusive thoughts. I just simply don't want to drive because of the reasons mentioned above. Since I don't have an official autism diagnosis, I can't access any of the ride services that would provide. At least I'm pretty sure Kela has a service like that here in Finland.

I know I say this pretty much every time I make one of these posts, but I'm doing okay. I'm just kinda scared for the fall when school starts again, because I don't know if I have the energy to do both the practical training and school. I need to finish my summer courses too, and I'm dreading the swedish since I haven't even started it yet. Though one of my classmates did the whole thing in about an hour, so apparently it's not very hard. I just really need to get it started...

Anyway, thanks if you read this and remember to stay hydrated :D

[forabeatofadrum]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thanks for tagging me @wellbelesbian! Better late than never, eh?

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

Just Some Guy and Ljubili se. Those are my "active" WIPs now, because if I had to list all of them... oh boy. Although I'm working on Just Some Guy more.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Outsider POV + Chosen One shit = disinterest

Queer journey + long distance = chaos (I think???)

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

For these two, none. I know Matt is MCD, but it stands for Matt Christopher Davis.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

I don't really have alternative titles, but they do have nicknames. I call Just Some Guy "MCD" because it's just funny to me and Ljubili se "Klaine in Ljubljana 2" which is ridiculous cause they're no longer in Ljubljana.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

Just Some Guy. I only need to finish one more chapter and I've been updating it weekly.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Ljubili se is in "drabbles and oneshots" and Just Some Guy in "Non-glee drabbles and oneshots" because I am chaotic and put all my writing in those two docs, unless something becomes too big, then it gets its own doc.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

I’ve heard stories of physical fights between them, but I kind of don’t care. Just let me play chess in peace. If they want to knock each other’s brains out, be my guest. One time I walked to class and Simon almost shoved Baz against the wall in anger, and I just passed them. I think more students are kind of used to their escalations. So, no, I don’t care. Arnold says it’s rude of me to think that way, but it’s not out of malice. It’s out of disinterest. “Really, I don’t get politics,” I sigh.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

I scrapped two scenes in Just Some Guy. The whole premise of the fic is that Matt honestly doesn't care that much about what the fuck is going in with Simon Snow and entourage. Originally, the kidnapping of the Mage in the 6th year had an entire scene where he, Leslie and John discuss it. And in the 8th year, there was an entire scene where Matt and his dad learn about the Mage's death, because once again, John and Leslie show up to discuss it. But in the end, I realised that Matt just... doesn't care. And those two scenes therefore felt very forced and it dragged the chapters down. The snippets aren't bad. They're just woefully unnecessary. I was like "I need Matt to acknowledge this" and I realised I didn't. I put both of them under the cut at the end of this post.

Hey, it ain't spoilers, cause everyone who's read Carry On knows what happens to good ole Davy.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Unfortunately for me, my mind's already started planning for this year's Klaine Advent/December Fanworks Challenge. Why is this unfortunate? Well, I still have to finish the 2023 one, Ljubili se.

But this idea is pretty neat. It's inspired by J.M. Frey's Accidental Turn series. That's all I'm sayin.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Actively, 2. Maybe 3, since bamboo ceiling is rotating in my brain. Don't ask me about the others in my WIP Hospital.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I AM FUCKING STUCK ON LJUBILI SE BECAUSE JUST LIKE LJUBIM TE I JUST FIND KURT'S POV HARDER/LESS INTERESTING TO WRITE.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Kudos back!

I think this post has been passed around in the Snowbaz fandom, so I am passing it to the Gleeks: @thnxforknowingme @caramelcoffeeaddict @coffeegleek @quizasvivamos @bitbybitwrites @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @rockitmans @special-bc-ur-part-of-it and whoever else!

Year 6: Mage's kidnapping

When I come home from Christmas break, something is definitely up.

“Did I miss anything?” I whisper to Leslie. We’re walking towards the Dining Hall to meet up with the others.

Leslie looks around.

“I heard this from John,” she leans in, “that the Mage got kidnapped over Christmas.”

“What?!” I exclaim.

“Shut it,” Leslie hisses. Some people are indeed staring at us. “The Coven is keeping it quiet at the Mage’s request. He cannot afford to look weak in front of the Old Families and the Dark Creatures.”

“Then how does John know?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer. John just knows stuff. And so far he’s always right. Maybe he’s a Seer, or something. Not that those are real, but damn, John is a strong contender.

And yes, Leslie tells me that John just knows.

Leslie and I enter the Dining Hall and John waves. Everyone’s already here. I look to Leslie to say something about it, but she’s already run to Sam to catch up. I shrug. Leslie can be mysterious as well.

I sit next to John and I inquire about the Mage’s disappearance.

“Yeah, Simon Snow saved him and all that jazz,” John says quietly.

“Shouldn’t the Mage be the one protecting him, not the other way around?”

“You’d think, huh?” John sighs.

I look around. I assume others know as well, but no one discusses it openly. Even the Old Family kids don’t taunt Simon Snow about his mentor allegedly being kidnapped.

“Why did you tell Leslie?” I ask.

“Because I knew she’d tell you.”

“Why is it important that I know?” I ask, “You know I don’t care about Chosen One stuff.”

I care more about the pudding that’s in front of me. Fuck yeah, pudding. Both my mum and my dad are decent cooks, but they have nothing on cook Pritchard.

John shrugs.

“I needed you to react to it for story reasons,” he says.

“… Okay,” I say and I scoop some pudding on my plate, “Did it work?”

John nods with a smile.

“Yes, it did.”

--

Year 8: Mage's death

“Okay, so, the Humdrum attacked the Pitch Manor, where Simon Snow so happened to be. The day after, it attacks Watford. Simon and the Mage are there. Simon defeats the Humdrum and lost his magic. He kills the Mage. Is that… all?”

“In a nutshell,” Leslie says.

“Why would Simon Snow kill the Mage?” my dad wonders out loud. That is indeed the most surprising part, not even the fact that the Mage killed Ebb, the goatherd.

“The investigation is still in its beginning phase,” John says, “But it sounds like the Mage maybe wasn’t a good man after all.”

“Huh,” my dad says. That’s all. But it summarises it perfectly. Look, my dad and I are just some guys. We don’t have big opinions on the status quo, so we never really questioned how things are.

“So, what now?” I ask.

“There will be an inquiry into the Mage’s death,” Leslie explains, “Mitali Bunce is interim headmistress. Rumour has it that Simon Snow’s magic hasn’t returned, so who knows if he’ll come back to school.”

Damn.

This dude just saved the world, and he has to think about school?

I mean, I do too, but I am no Chosen One.

Bruh, it must suck to be Simon Snow

[torilaa]

Wednesday Writing Blog #1

So, I have a problem. A big problem for a writer at least. I have never finished a first draft. Hell any writing project really except for one or two short stories that I had to finish for college. Pressure seems to be the only way I spit things out. This is why I'm going to start making a blog post every week or so in order to remind myself that I need to write... Also because I love talking about writing. I think it would be great to spend every Wednesday or so venting or nerding out about it.

I could just be procrastinating again though.

Yup.

Anyway, today I figured out how my first book is going to end. They say the best thing to have before you start to write is an ending. I've been a pantser since I started writing, but I've discovered that really doesn't help with my motivation. If I don't know what happens next, I'm stumped for weeks. As for how I outline, I just use bullet points with acts 1-3. Any more structure than that and I feel constricted creatively. Any worldbuilding I have is thrown into the "Worldbuilding" folder. Let's hope I remember to update that as I write! Since worldbuilding is, yes, important but the story comes first.

I've made a basic outline so I'm rather confident about it for once. In fact, I wrote around 7k words so far (I scrapped basically all of what I wrote in 2017 with this concept which is...hard, but it had to be done since the MC is a very different character now).

Finally, I started reading Leviathan Wakes (the Expanse) partially for research purposes and partially because I loved the show.

Since I can't help but share, here is the alpha version of the first page:

Martin called it The Coffin.

The walls of the room were made of mirrors and a door that only Interrogator Martin Prouset could enter. The Order of Representatives made sure the room had nothing to distract the suspect except for the endless reflection of themselves, the table, the chairs, and the interrogator. These reflections made the room feel larger than it appeared to be in reality. Because it was small. Cramped. Three meters by three meters approximately and high enough so that the tallest man could stand with about an inch of clearance. The Coffin was a joke the Representatives played on both the suspect and the interrogator. Martin would rather be in a larger room, no, another place, a different time but instead, through fault of his own, he came into this room everyday to greet the mirrors, the table, the chairs. The only difference, ever, was the suspect that sat in that infernal chair.

Enough to make a man mad.

This new suspect? Dr. Theo Johansson, engineer with a memory quotient of 190 (that he would certainly brag about). Martin sat in the chair nearest the door and Theo Johansson’s reflection sat across from the table. Johansson’s wrinkled face was pale except the sockets beneath his eyes. Those deep eyes asked, “why?” The ones that forgot always asked why. Even doctors with an MQ of 190. The only people that looked at him were the ones that remembered what they did. Always it was with an expression of determined steel. Thankfully that wasn’t Johansson. The steel gaze always, always, made his blood run cold.

[writebethany]

20 questions for fic writers

Just because i saw it and wanted to 😂

How many works do you have on ao3?

138

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,336,801

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Started with Warehouse 13 and bering and wells, then wandered into OUAT and Swanqueen, then DWP and Mirandy, then a stint in Pitch Perfect 2 specifically for Becommissar because mmm Kommissar, a blip into Supergirl some for Supercat, more for General Danvers (tangentially also Supercorp but that's more for the fact that I run the chirstmas exchange than anything, love those kids, not my usual ship), and a crossover or two with Legends of Tomorrow with Supercanaary in there too in that same era, two seconds in ot3 shipping in The Greatest Showman because Jenny Lind mhm, one fic in Steven Universe because poly!diamonds, then into Harry Potter for anything to do with the Black Sisters and Hermione and occasionally Lucius which is still on going, but a bit backburnered because I've also fallen into writing fic for The Librarians this year centered around some pairing of Cassandra, Eve and Jenkins for the most part. Basically. It's a lot, and a lot of bouncing around between larger eras in specific fandoms lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ask me No Questions (I'll Tell You No Lies) [HP Hermione/Narcissa/Anathema], Heaven When We're Home [HP Hermione/Narcissa], By All Accounts [Supergirl, Supercorp (apprciate you guys but I'm still confused by that😂)], Coffee Shops and Vigilantes [Supergirl/Legends of Tomorrow, Supercanary], Sincerely Yours [HP Hermione scores a hat trick]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to as much as possible, especially in smaller fandoms. Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed at it falls by the wayside, but I come back eventually.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhhh there's usually one in every fandom I stay in for long enough where I just go full nuclear angst and no happy ending. Probably the worst of the worst Offenders is "I Hate to Kill You (I Hate to Die)" for obvious reasons if you've read it, but "of all the things I never told you" and "Halfway Through the Woods" are also up there and in probably last place but still *very* angsty is "Better This Way"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to pick. Save for those fics I'm a happy ending hoe. Probably the most rewarding happy ending will be for "The Sun Must Set to Rise" but that isn't published yet. I'm actually procrastinating the wrap up that story right now by doing this 😂😅

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Out right "you suck" hate? Once or twice. But there has been whining in the past on my stories about how I never finish anything or that I update too slow and why am I like this. *Those comments get responded to with some lessons in manners*

9. Do you write smut?

*looks at the tab beside Sun Must Set to Rise* I have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, some pwp but a lot of smut as the pay off in long fics to put that cherry on top of them.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Have before, though they aren't my main thing, and unclear if Supergirl/Legends counts since like. The shows actually did that themselves once a season 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I ended up on a scraping website that people posted about on tumblr all of once. Not mad about not having to fight that lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask before, but they're on different databases than ao3 so I haven't really checked on how that went for them.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! Two of my closest fandom friends have cowritten with me and one IRL friend. Some of them got finished, others did not, but it was fun along the way.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

??????? I know there are people out there who have stuck in one fandom and only one fandom for longer than I've been writing and they definitely have the answer to this, but I have ADHD and doooooo not. If I had to pick at gunpoint, I'd probably say Harry Potter Hat Trick, but unless you point a gun at me I'm not answering.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably "Sometimes it's Soft Hands and Mailing Envelopes" it was a big part of my life in 2015 and I obsessed over it and wrote it and its sequel at such a fast pace, especially for going into my senior year of college. But I've reread the prequel and it's cute and I started reading it over again and just went 'I know where I wanted this to go, I can see how I would get there, I don't want to do that though' because it's a very slice of life story about moving in with your girlfriend and both you and your girlfriend navigating a new job/grad school and I've lived both of those experiences now, and especially I do not want to relive grad school, but also I don't usually write long slice of life things anymore. Sci-fi/fantasy and plot heavy for lyfe lol. But I do wish I had finished it at the time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think over arching plot, like I'm good at fitting the pieces together where they need to go to make a believable story, which is good when you tend towards writing more mystery-esque 'solve a problem' fic. Also dialogue as a secondary. There is no struggle here to make these bitches say words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have DEBILITATING wordy bitch disease. This could be managed if I edited stories before posting them, but I don't. I'm doing well to edit my original work, thanks. So it leads to a lot of fics that are probably 20-50k too long and drag on the point for a bit. I *have* gotten better at it though. The White Queen is probably 100k too long oh my god, I try to forget she exists, even if it's one of the most popular fics I've written.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have before, mostly in Pitch Perfect since Kommissar is German. It was a good experience. I probably wouldn't do it again unless I either knew the language or it was made up. In text notes so the reader gets what was said are the most awkward thing to deal with in the history of ever.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warehouse 13. I hadn't known about fic for that long before starting to write for it. I also hadn't realized that I was a big ole homo, which in the late 00s/early 10s fanfic was the only fucking way I was going to see two ladies kiss and by god I was going to leverage the award winning writing skills I had gained writing terrible, original, teenager ficition to do it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I think for a long, long time it was Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice. It's just so very soft and caring and for a long while I could just feel that care and sink right into it and it just felt like the best thing I'd ever written. Rereading it now, it's still a very good fic, but I'm starting to see the little holes here and there as I grow as a writer. It's still good! I love it to death, and to talk about favorites without it would be incomplete, but I think that it's important to mention that even your best work eventually loses a bit of shine, no less dear, a huge stepping stone in the right direction, just not the top one anymore.

I think now my favorite is Heaven When We're Home. It has all of those hallmarks that Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice did, if shorter, and there's a lyrical note to the writing and word choice in it that I have NO idea how I did (not being sober when writing probably didn't hurt) and I'm still chasing that sort of writing even now 2 years later.

[fredwendelin]

C&D Book Update #21

i Hate When The Page I'm Working On Gets a F-ING Page Reload Out of Nowhere And I'm Left Confused For Seconds And THEN I Scream My Agony Out Into The World And THEN I Feel Like Throwing My Laptop Outta The Window And Never Working Anymore AND Settling Down Into A Nice Patch Of Grass To Never Get Up Again (this does sound nice).

Patch of grass&Me Vibing:

(Code Geass reference because why not. Also, I didn't find the artist or, at least, I couldn't withstand the Pixiv boobs long enough to translate the Japanese Greek. Who knew Pixiv was like that these days. Because IN MY AGE--)

(If those Japanese Kanjis mean 'the one reposting this without express permission by the author WILL BE cursed' then I might as well look out for a priest. I'll have to travel to Italy. Find the Stregheria)

(I researched to see if Stregheria actually had priests or not and I found out Raven Grimassi, who had once been my mentor, died in 2019 :( RIP. I feel inclined to write a fiction book inspired by his works as a tribute. They were precious to me...)

(I have so many tabs open that it's not funny. Every Windows Update it's an ApocalypseTM because I end up having to back track and actually read/watch/study/fav the tabs before they go away...)

Honestly, I'm on what, my third draft?

Second draft was all about fixing the red markings on my book. I had a ton of bad wording (ooooh can't you tell), bad plot, bad scene evolution, bad WORDs, etc. This draft was quicker because I focused on only those issues and I think I didn't even read like, at least 20 chapters because they weren't red marked. And the other chapters, well, I didn't read them from the beginning, just the few author-gore parts.

I honestly thought that on my THIRD draft, things would be easier. I'd have an easy time, just reading and vibing. HAH. I hate everything. I hate everyone. I'm picky with words like I had never been before, I'm bullying my work into submission, I'm drowning in the word-sea of fumbling thoughts. Wait, that last line sounded so cool. I might put it in a book one day. Wait and see. (drops dead, line never gets into a book, someone steals it shamelessly until a brave redditor finds the original post, which will become the holy grail of all English lessons for centuries somehow)

Also, I present to you Neston: the only reason I'm aliveTM. As I have already written in another post (I think it's titled 'Picky Eater' and Autism) I have huge problems with eating. But somehow, cereals are fine. They always have been, since I was little. (This isn't actually my photo, and I'm eating it raw, not with milk.) Best re-discovery of the year.

~~

I saw a few critics going over my work today and yeah, the main criticism is the slow-burn and how much of the affection happens off-screen. Interesting. I hadn't noticed that before. I might want to improve on that? Because that does seem like a trend with me. But at the same time, I guess people sought erotica (I didn't convey the work well), which isn't bad, but it just isn't what I write. I don't write Clean&Wholesome, but I don't write Erotica. I guess I'll have to invent a new name. I write WONDERLIN. Hah. Hah. Hah. (Cue Joker's unhinged laugh.) But yeah, on another note, they loved how the characters were written. That does soothe my writer ache good.

~~

C. didn't think so. The way D. had acted.. The way he had reacted…  And at the same time, D.'s impulsive, dumb, and ???? It must be >>>.

That is from chapter 30. It is giving me such a HEADACHE because it's a turning point in my book and I need to get it just ~~right~. And, as you must've guessed, the text that I wrote in before was CRAP. GARBAGE. CRIMINAL.

I know exactly what I want to convey. And, at the same time, I don't.

Thus this part not making sense right now. I need something logical for >>>, and a precise word for ????.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I'll just procrastinate.

I've already told myself that if needs be, I'll launch this F book next year.

But I don't want to.

I WANT TO SHARE THE LOVE

...and it needs to be ~near of before August~. For secret reasons.

( • ̀ω•́ )

~~

Out of nowhere, I remembered that I had read half of this book back when I bought it, in 2010. It's a book that deals with the Roman Empire era. The same era of my C&D book. So, I searched all over my library for it, to see if I still had it (but seeing as I purged some of my old books... I held no faith.) AND YES I FOUND IT. Now I'm procrastinating, but for a GOOD REASON. My C&D book is on hold, BUT MY HOPE IS NOT. LET'S STUDY. NHAM NHAM, WORD CANDIES.

Anyway, slay.