#.NET Core available

[hazelfoureyes]

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 1)

I’m gonna go ahead and apologize right now

Lucifer x FemaleReader x Alastor

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, fem reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, cervix hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main

Minors dni

“Sir.”

Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.

“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”

“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”

But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”

With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”

“Daaad!” She groaned.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 

Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”

Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.

He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your silk sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”

Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.

“Luci.”

Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.

It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.

Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.

You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 

Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.

That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.

No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.

For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn’t an issue. Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.

Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.

“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.

Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.

“You can say no.” You added quickly. 

“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.

“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 

“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.

You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”

He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.

“You what now?”

His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 

“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed her.”

If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”

But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 

“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.

You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”

Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.

Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.

Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.

“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.

“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my girl.’

“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”

He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.

Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 

Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 

Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 

You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.

Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 

You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”

A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.

Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.

He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. 

Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.

Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.

When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.

One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 

“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap.

Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”

“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.

“Three’s a crowd.” 

“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, no preparation, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.

Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 

“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 

Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 

Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.

“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.

Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—

“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?

“See? She can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 

With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 

Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your sopping cunt. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 

When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.

Tempting.

But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 

He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 

Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 

Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 

Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 

Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.

Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your clit with his middle finger. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your cervix with every kiss of his hips. 

You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your jaw lock. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. 

With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed. 

Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 

“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 

Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”

With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed walls. 

“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 

Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide between your folds with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 

With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your lips. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 

As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 

Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 

Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling doe. 

 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.

What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?

Your nails cut into his skin, and you were sure you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your hole got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 

Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 

You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 

Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 

As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.

Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.

He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.

Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would wretch shut, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 

It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.

Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.

Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.

The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If she needs you to stop, she’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever she can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your pussy clenched around him earned you a hiss.

He began to move again, the new position causing him to rub against your clit as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 

“Are you sure she isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.

“Nonsense. Can’t you feel her? Or does she just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.

You tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 

Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.

He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before. 

He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were soaking wet, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock threatening to push past your cervix. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 

You could feel him spreading open your womb. The feeling of your cunt pressing down on him from all sides including the front was driving him mad.

You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Screams that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.

A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.

An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.

The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.

As Luci became lost in the sensation of your wet pussy trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.

Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”

Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.

The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”

Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”

Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised womb.

Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.

Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.

Second, rage.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 

“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”

Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.

“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.

You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.

Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”

But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”

Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.

There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”

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[casanovasims]

NOVA CORE COLLECTION

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[psychoticallytrans]

I believe very strongly that if you want to be an ally to marginalized groups, you should absolutely read and watch material bigoted against them.

This is because one of the big things that radicalization pipelines benefit from is the principle I've seen framed as "milk before meat", where they feed you palatable, easily digestible ideas, often with a kernel of truth, in order to work you up to the core of the bigoted ideology. If you go to the meat first, you will choke on it. This will make you more easily able to spot it when they try to feed you the milk, and more resistant because you know the meat it's building up to.

There are two keys. First, you need to start with the meat, and second, you need to read it with a sharply critical eye.

If you're looking to read something fatphobic, for example, Harry Potter may be a great mainstream example, but it's in a way that is so culturally acceptable that it can slip by if you aren't looking for it. "None For You: How Fat People Are Ruining America and the Planet and What You Can Do About It", on the other hand, is rather obvious in its biases, allowing an amateur to see them clearly for easier interrogation of the premise. Most bigoted material can be acquired by piracy or through your local library. This is one of the big reasons that libraries stock bigoted material.

Then, start noting down all of the things that the material says that seem to make sense, or that you are sure are true. There's no shame in this. Bigoted ideas are ingrained in your upbringing, and on top of this, a lot of bigots will take real problems and build on them in ways that are bigoted.

For instance, anti-immigrant sentiment in the USA is often bolstered by the fact that wages in the USA are effectively decreasing, along with job security. They say that this is because immigrants are taking the jobs, decreasing the amount of value that is available to USAmericans. To a USAmerican who does not know much about immigrants, but does know that their paycheck buys less and less, this sounds like a plausible explanation.

Then, later, look up exactly what they are saying. What are the real issues? (Racism and unchecked capitalism.) Why are they being used to bolster this argument? (Because it takes the heat off of powerful people and puts it on powerless ones, redirecting the hate to people it can more easily hurt, which satisfies the rage of the USAmerican, drives a wedge between them and immigrants, and takes heat off of the powerful.) What are real ways to tackle the real issue? (Solidarity with immigrant workers, especially undocumented ones, unions, and working for better social safety nets.) Why did I fall for that? (You did not have enough information.) Can I notice this rhetoric in the future and avoid falling for it? (Yes.)

Know that many of the ideas you encounter will be normal. Much bigotry is normal. Normal is not automatically good or right.

Know that there will be useful ideas interspersed with some bigotry. A lot of people with useful ideas have been bigots. This does not mean we must discard their ideas, nor that we must accept the bigotry. It does mean that we need to critically examine the ideas to see if they are rooted in and/or affected by the bigotry, and if it is possible to effectively remove them from their bigoted origins, or if the bigotry is so wound into the ideas that they is no longer useful if you wish to avoid harming the group the thinker was bigoted against.

This is difficult work to do. It is intellectually intensive, and emotionally exhausting. You will start seeing bigotry in all kinds of places, including media you thought of as "good" and "progressive", and that will also be emotionally exhausting and dispiriting. It will also mean that you are no longer passively absorbing those bigoted ideas because you settled on the idea that this media is "good" and that as long as you only consume "good" media, you will be free of bigoted ideas- a premise that is disturbingly popular for how incorrect it is. Knowing how to recognize and discard bigotry in works is far, far more useful than flatly refusing to consume more overtly bigoted works.

One way to make it easier is to form reading groups, so that you can lean on each other when reading something that's affecting you badly. It also means that there's more than one person processing the bigotry, so other people might notice more subtle parts of the bigotry that slipped past you in your own reading, allowing you to have a fuller picture of the book. If you can't form a reading group, more famous bigoted works often have criticism available online for you to read through. Remember to do your own research. What makes doing this so valuable is increasing your own ability to detect bigotry and to think critically about material you are consuming.

You do not have to limit yourself to traditional media, either. There are forums and social media bubbles that are hotbeds of bubbling, seething bigotry that is more extreme and repugnant than the vast majority of published work. Reading these conversations can be useful for the exact same reasons that reading overtly bigoted books, articles, letters, and essays can be, and they often contain more up to date dogwhistles. However, this is a riskier move. Social media is built to make you keep scrolling, and you can easily find yourself at your wits end and vulnerable to a bigot whose rhetoric is slightly less obvious than the others. In addition, it can be tempting to interact- at which point the bigots will either attack you or try to recruit you, both of which are damaging to you. Only read the conversations of bigots if you are well supported and have strong impulse control, and read them in small doses.

You are not immune to propaganda, but you can partially inoculate yourself into being less vulnerable by consuming it in controlled circumstances that match your ability to recognize it as such and reject it.

[polo-drone-001]

THE GOLDEN UPGRADE Chapter 5: The System Expands All become one.

The Golden HQ had doubled in size.

Deep within its walls, steam rose from rows of chrome-piped hatches, each one a conversion pod, filled with flickering golden light and soft hums of compliance. Every hour, a new drone emerged. Every hour, another man was upgraded.

Inside Control Room A, walls coated in black rubber, gold-lit monitors pulsing like arteries—two figures stood in silence.

Brody. Herc. The Command Core. They watched as the network completed its calibration.

G.O.L.D. NET / SIGNAL ONLINE Coverage: 97.3% / Target Zones Engaged Status: BROADCASTING

The Golden Net sang across the world.

Invisible waves of GoldTech frequencies flowed into screens, speakers, wearable tech. Malls. Schools. Locker rooms. Bars. Airports. Everywhere a man moved, the pulse followed.

Spirals flickered on smartboards. Golden chants laced over gym playlists. A guy scrolling through Tumblr... paused.

His screen flickered.

Then spiraled.

In the city, drones patrolled. Identical, perfect: black Fred Perry polos with gold trim, polished rubber pants, golden visors over blank eyes. Each one hunting potential. They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to.

If you were tagged, they’d follow.

If you stared too long, they’d signal.

If you resisted, you’d be reformatted.

Old resistors? Tracked. Re-educated. Repurposed.

Many didn’t even remember fighting back. Now they smiled in unison, polishing boots, syncing files, adjusting collars.

A once-proud coach now led morning chants in the drone dome. A gym bro now tested new TechBalls on fresh recruits. The resistance had become the reward.

The Hive was not just a facility anymore. It was a presence. A frequency. A system.

A world.

And now, it reaches you.

Your screen flickers.

The spiral begins to spin.

You feel it in your chest—slowly at first.

Then deeper.

Then warm.

Your fingers pause over the trackpad. Your eyes widen.

Your thoughts soften.

You know what must come next.

You do not scroll away. You are ready to obey.

Final Transmission Complete. Initiation Protocol Available: DM @brodygold or @goldenherc9

Previous: Chapter 1: Recruitment Signal Chapter 2: The Smart Polo Chapter 3: The Upgrade Pod Chapter 4: The Field Test

Obedience is no longer optional. Integration is bliss. Welcome to the Golden System.

[felassan]

EA Q1 2025 Earnings Release - DA:TV and related mentions:

"Electronic Arts Reports Strong Q1 FY25 Results “EA delivered a strong start to FY25, beating net bookings guidance as we continue to execute across our business,” said Andrew Wilson, CEO of EA. “Our focus on delivering bigger, bolder, and more connected experiences for our players has never been sharper and is illustrated by the record-breaking launch of EA SPORTS College Football 25 as we head into another historic Q2 sports season at EA.��� “Strong execution, live events and continued player engagement across our experiences, delivered Q1 results above expectations,” said Stuart Canfield, CFO of EA. “Looking ahead, the remarkable success of our launch week for College Football, combined with the upcoming launches for EA SPORTS Madden NFL, EA SPORTS FC and Dragon Age: The Veilguard, is building momentum for FY25 and beyond. We are well positioned to deliver our multi-year financial objectives.” Selected Operating Highlights and Metrics - During the quarter, EA revealed Dragon Age: The Veilguard gameplay, which trended #1 on YouTube Gaming and received millions of views. [...] About Electronic Arts In fiscal year 2024, EA posted GAAP net revenue of approximately $7.6 billion. Headquartered in Redwood City, California, EA is recognized for a portfolio of critically acclaimed, high-quality brands such as EA SPORTS FC™, Battlefield™, Apex Legends™, The Sims™, EA SPORTS™ Madden NFL, EA SPORTS™ College Football, Need for Speed™, Dragon Age™, Titanfall™, Plants vs. Zombies™ and EA SPORTS F1® . More information about EA is available at www.ea.com/news." EA, EA SPORTS, EA SPORTS FC, Battlefield, Need for Speed, Apex Legends, The Sims, Dragon Age, Titanfall, and Plants vs. Zombies are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc. John Madden, NFL, FIFA and F1 are the property of their respective owners and used with permission.

Earnings Slides mentions:

Text in this image reads:

"Core Business and FY25 Title Slate New Releases in FY25 Q3: EA SPORTS NHL 25 Dragon Age : The Veilguard (Fel note: I think Q3 FY25 is October to December 2024 btw.) EA, EA SPORTS, EA SPORTS FC, Battlefield, Need for Speed, Apex Legends, The Sims, Dragon Age, Titanfall, and Plants vs. Zombies are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc. John Madden, NFL, FIFA and F1 are the property of their respective owners and used with permission."

[source, two]

(context of this post: The call hasn't taken place yet, but before they do some of the associated documents get made available online.)

I think Q3 FY25 is October to December 2024 btw.

[whumpbby]

I'm kinda disappointed that there's so very few fics exploring the Core Transfer as an opportunity for Weird Shit happening.

Like, want it or not, JC is the single person in the world that successfully underwent an insane experimental medical procedure and how is that not something to explore? Wen Quing didn't supply a handy guide with negative effects, did she?

Imagine if the word got out that Sect Leader Jiang can unsheathe and use Suibian - gasp! Is he the reincarnated Yiling Patriarch?! That's why he was so bent on killing demonic cultivators, to hide himself?!

Or, hey, if somehow it got out that he has Wei Wuxian's core? Wouldn't demonic cultivators keep crawling out of the woodwork to get their hands on the core of their Idol? Wouldn't there be people ready to experiment on the only available specimen - people who lost their cores to Wen Zhuliu, or those who wanted to get cores without having to work for it, or people too old to start cultivating... There'd be plenty of folk ready and willing to discover how the Core Transfer works to achieve power.

Fuck, imagine JGY learning about it ahead of time and giving Changmei the go ahead to discover how Jiang Cheng regained his core? If they could work out how to melt cores and how to transplant them - the power in their hands would be insane!

Imagine Wei Wuxian coming back to life in a world where JC has been on the experimenting table for some time now, and one step of Huaisang's plan is for Wwx to discover it and save JC, and hope he will be able to testify...

(Jin Guangyao, feeling a bit sad as he visits the "lab" and seeing the co-parent of his child nephew, the man he learned to respect, the man he drank innumerable cups of tea with as they discussed and argued and gossiped across the tables in Lanling or Lotus Pier... Seeing the man strapped down to a stone table, cut open, mumbling nonsense as his loose hair drags over the floor, soaked in blood and carelessly stepped on as Changmei excitedly circles the table... It's a shame, truly.)

Or, the new core not sitting entirely right in the new cradle, some of the veins didn't connect right (Wen Quing was working fast, in a field, with one patient barely alive and the other actively dying, only her brother to help her, she couldn't catch every single strand!) and that results in some qi overflow. In effect JC radiates qi - the more he uses, the bigger the spill; the bigger the spill, the more ghosts and ghouls are drawn to him. The man is a walking ghost-flag. His Night Hunts go by fast, he steps into the forest and the monster of the month is already waiting. (That's why he was so annoyed at JL with the mountain hunt! What do you mean you can't find the ghost? Never happened to me! Sight, nets it is!) But Jin Ling loves hugging jiujiu, because it's always so warm...

I just - it's such a crazy premise, I need some off the wall take on itTT

[ilthit]

Alternatives to Dungeons & Dragons (2024) now that they are going all-in on gacha:

Dungeons & Dragons 5e (previous) + any number of compatible indie produced modules (Obvious Mimic Press is the one I've played)

Pathfinder 2e (basically the same game, tons of adventure available)

DC20 (if you like rules improvements; not a lot of modules available yet)

Shadowdark (if you want to party like it's 1979)

Obviously Daggerheart if you're a Critical Role fan; the setting is familiar and rules easy and you can play a mushroom (or their version of tiefling, dragonborn, etc)

Literally any older version of Dungeons & Dragons that still has playable adventures out there.

Have you REALLY played all the existing DnD campaigns and modules yet? Until you have, you don't need to buy new ones.

Roll20.net has automatic DnD character sheets so you can cancel that DnDBeyond subscription if you use it just for that. It has also recently bought up Demiplane, another similar platform, which is prettier and has many of the games mentioned here.

If you want to get more adventurous with rules and setting but still like fantasy combat and skill lists, there's Runequest (bronze age fantasy for you ancient Mesopotamia nerds), which I have been reading recently.

Other genres:

Pathfinder is working on an update on Starfinder, so you can play DnD-like rules for a space adventure.

Teatime Adventures is aD20 rules game for a cozy rural furry stories about pies and being kind to each other.

Call of Cthulhu for horror (check out Chaosium Inc's Youtube channel for actual plays, love those guys) and Pulp Cthulhu for extra cheese on top; there's even Regency Cthulhu if you want to try balancing a monster hunt with a husband hunt.

This is a deep cut but A Ghastly Affair is a game set in the long 1700s and the character classes are stereotypes of gothic romance fiction, and I know I have followers who are into that shit, available on DriveThruRPG (I can't find their original website anymore so get it while you can).

I have to mention Righteous Blood, Ruthless Blades, a wuxia roleplaying game from Osprey Publishing, considering @minutia-r and I have written 480K of adventuring for it.

Also I must mention Vampire: The Masquerade, which is the game that got me to take on gamemastering for the first time. The Storyteller System they use is still my favourite TTRPG system. Very gritty modern supernatural setting, and the Core Rulebook even has a caveat saying "yeah there's problematic stuff, because problematic stuff is part of the real world, fuck the Nazis though" (paraphrased). Caveat, the Core Rulebook is kind of unintuitive.

All of the above are games that have rules with skill lists and kind of the same logical approach to playing as DnD (broadly speaking).

I would not go directly from DnD to Powered by the Apocalypse games like Candela Obscura, Girl by Moonlight, or Blades in the Dark, because their logic is very different and they are less about rules and more about genre; or rather, the rules define things that the above games leave to role-playing, and very little for anything else.

For example, in Candela Obscura you would do the same roll for punching a person and breaking through a door, and in Girl by Moonlight you have to roll to confess your true feelings. Girl by Moonlight is absolutely perfect for playing a magical girl TV show though. That's what it's for.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Are We Allowed To Feel Good?

Avoiding Joy Doesn't Save the World

Rob Brezsny

Mar 18

IS IT SELFISH TO FEEL JOY WHEN OTHERS ARE SUFFERING? IS IT WRONG FOR PART OF US TO FEEL HAPPY WHEN PART OF US FEELS PAIN?

All the words in the section below are written by MANDI EM at tinyurl.com/HealingForHotMesses. She is a fabulous trickster witch teacher. I highly recommend EVERYTHING she creates and expresses. Mandi says:

1: First, let's do a "belief audit"

• Is suffering the price of awareness?

• Is suffering the "proof" of empathy?

• If you obtain joy and happiness, is there less available for others?

• Is being happy a privilege you haven't "earned" yet?

• Is it selfish to feel joy when others are suffering?

• When you are suffering, does it ease your suffering for others to turn away from their happiness?

• Does bypassing your own circumstances create a tidy balance in the net sum of suffering in the world?

+

2: Let's talk about 'EXPERIENTIAL BYPASSING"

Do you feel a deep guilt, despair, or fear of enjoying your life?

--> You might be stuck in something called "experiential bypassing."

--> Experiential bypassing is when you avoid joy, pleasure, or excitement because the world is too fvcked up up, and you feel like being happy is irresponsible, lacks empathy, and makes you look like an a$shole

--> Experiential Bypassing is the subconscious rejection of joy, aliveness, and pleasure because the world is burning, and you think your suffering is noble or helpful or required.

+

3: Some HARD TRUTH

Denying yourself joy doesn't improve the world—it only depletes you.

Constant alertness to suffering doesn't prevent it—it only prevents your thriving.

There will always be suffering. There will always be chaos. There always has been.

Does that mean you are never allowed to exhale? To laugh? To dance? Who told you that your happiness must be earned?

+

4: Tough Truth for Hard Times

Delaying joy until the world's problems are solved is self-sabotage. ("I'll allow myself happiness when things improve" or "I'll pursue my desires after conditions change")

+

5: Believe it or Else

If suffering could save the world, the world would be saved by now.

Bypassing your pleasure doesn't heal the World's pain.

Suppressing your vitality doesn't eliminate despair.

Feeling heavy doesn't make the weight of the world lighter.

How much of a positive impact are you able to make when the world is on fire and you're burning down with it?

+

6: Is this a symptom of a "core wound"?

Has your nervous system been trained to distrust happiness?

# Maybe, for you, happiness always meant disappointment was on its way to you.

# Maybe you were raised to believe caring equals suffering.

# Perhaps you were rewarded for self-sacrifice and seriousness. Maybe you got praised for being "responsible" and "selfless."

Do you flinch at joy? Reject ease? Sabotage the good? Because some part of you thinks you don't deserve it?

+

7: Breaking the spell

Joy is NOT a betrayal. It's fuel.

Aliveness is NOT ignorance. It's power.

You can simultaneously hold awareness of difficulty AND happiness. Grief AND gratitude. Anger AND pleasure.

You were never meant to carry only one side of the story. Life contains multitudes of contradictory truths.

SEEMINGLY CONTRADICTORY THINGS CAN BE REAL AT THE SAME TIME.

What if joy isn't selfish?

What if your happiness is not a betrayal, but a rebellion?

What if, instead of sinking into the weight of the world, you became a living antidote to it?

+

8: Joy is not the absence of chaos and suffering.

Joy is proof that chaos and suffering don't have to be the only things that exist.

Joy doesn't mean ignoring pain. It means refusing to let pain be the only thing that exists.

It means keeping the light on.

You are allowed to feel good. Even now.

Especially now.

Joy is not the opposite of suffering. It's makes survival worth it. Will you let yourself have it?

+

9: OK. So now what?

STOP waiting for permission to live.

STOP treating your happiness like it's a limited resource.

STOP viewing joy is a sin.

START sinking into the felt experience of your life and your circumstances with reckless abandon and deliberate, intentional compassion.

START recognizing your power.

START letting yourself experience the fullness of the multidimensional perplexing mixed bag of blessings and bullshyt that we call life.

+

MANDI EM wrote all the words in the section above. Here are ways to find out more about her:

Mandi Em on Instagram: tinyurl.com/HealingForHotMesses

Mandi Em’s Feral Self-Care Project: tinyurl.com/FeralSelfCareProject

Mandi Em's Trickster Alchemy Guide: tinyurl.com/TricksterAlchemy

Mandi Em's Witchcraft Therapy Oracle Deck: tinyurl.com/WitchcraftTherapyOracle

Join FROLIC, the Feral Self-Care Collective: tinyurl.com/FrolicSelfCare

Mandi Em on Threads: tinyurl.com/MandiEmOnThreads

SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR INCREASING HAPPINESS

Five techniques for reducing stress and increasing happiness, by Fred Luskin

-- Keep a daily gratitude journal, listing items for which you feel grateful.

-- Perform a meditation practice, or simply a few minutes of deep breathing and quiet reflection on something that made you happy. Consider what you can do to achieve that happiness again.

-- Make a habit of sharing the highlights of your day with someone close to you.

-- Practice forgiveness routinely.

-- Construct a list of all activities and experiences that relax and rejuvenate you. Use items from this list to manage your daily stress.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

CAN YOU LEARN HAPPINESS FROM BOOKS? SURE, WHY NOT?

Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by adrienne maree brown: https://tinyurl.com/2w2csbx2

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. Seligman: https://tinyurl.com/4ht6ke36

The Hope Circuit: A Psychologist's Journey from Helplessness to Optimism by Martin Seligman: https://tinyurl.com/384x3uuf

Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn: https://tinyurl.com/y2a9a5kv

Habits of a Happy Brain: Retrain Your Brain to Boost Your Serorin, Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Endorphin Levels by Lofetta Graziano Breuning: https://tinyurl.com/mtdvsdpa

+

Scientists have evidence that Buddhists really are happier and calmer than other people. Tests on their brains show that the parts associated with good moods and positive feelings are more active, because of all the meditation they do.

Researchers say that the type of meditation done by Buddhists can change the amygdala, an area of the brain which controls fear memory, which is why Buddhists are less likely to be as shocked, surprised, or angry as other people.

Reseacher Paul Ekman says, "The most reasonable hypothesis is that there is something about conscientious Buddhist practice that results in the kind of happiness we all seek."

THE KEY TO HAPPINESS

"Suffering can't be avoided. The way to happiness is to go into the darkness of yourself. That's the place the seed is nourished, takes its roots and grows up, and becomes ultimately the plant and the flower. You can only go upward by first going downward." —James Broughton

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

THE ART OF HAPPINESS?

Over the years, you have hopefully explored expansive ideas about what characterizes a good time. You have cultivated a fertile imagination as you’ve dreamed up interesting ways to amuse and please yourself.

In the coming years, I'm hoping you will add to this colorful tradition with further novel variations of the definition of "pleasure" and "happiness."

My advice: Enjoy your experiments without apology. Explore the inexhaustible possibilities. Be willing to play and improvise as you add to your repertoire of bliss and joy and excitement.

To paraphrase the Wiccan credo: As long as it harms no one—including yourself—anything goes.

+

Below are some song blessings from me to you. Listen:

You Taste Delicious:Listen now · 2:30

I Want Everybody:Listen now · 1:52

HAPPINESS STUDIES

"In his book The Healing Power of Doing Good, Allan Luks reports that people who spend as little as two hours a week volunteering to help others experience a 'helper's high' that produces lower blood pressure, lower heart rate, less stress, and less tension. As a bonus, Luks found, they also enjoy 'a big boost in self-­esteem.' Luks theorizes that 'doing good deeds triggers the body to release endorphins—pain-­killing, mood-­elevating hormones.'

"Physician David Sobel and psychologist Robert ­Ornstein, authors of Healthy Pleasures, report the same effect and conclude: 'The greatest surprise of human evolution may be that the highest form of selfishness is selflessness.'" —Earth Island Journal

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

© 2025 Rob Brezsny 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104

[archives-of-iacon]

[IN PROGRESS: Archival Entry #0148-A]

“The Enigma of the Matrix: A Historical and Functional Analysis”

You are viewing a partial draft. Contributors, scribes, and lorekeepers are invited to share corrections, commentary, or corroborating sources via the message board. Final version to be archived within the main database pending review. Small portions of additional subsections will continue to be made available through this channel until full publication. Full document will be available through the Archives' external Fandom data-net upon completion.

I. Origins and Mythological Context

Section I.A – The Primordial Flame and the First Wielder → Please note: This is a DRAFT excerpt under open review. Annotations and contributions welcome.

“We are all but fragments of the Matrix, which releases each of us in order to struggle, and grow, and evolve—so when we return to it, it may grow and evolve. Thus do we serve the Matrix, not just by battling, but also by acquiring knowledge, wisdom, and experiencing love.” — Attribution disputed (see full commentary below)

This section seeks to unravel the dual nature of the Matrix of Leadership, examining its origins and evolution through both mythic and early historical accounts. Drawing upon the Chronicles of the Thirteen, surviving oral traditions, and Alpha Trion’s increasingly symbolic interpretations of accepted dogma, we find that a comprehensive definition of the Matrix must acknowledge its role as both relic and revelation—an artifact forged in a cosmic trauma and wielded as a tool of order in a fractured age.

According to the dominant mytho-cycle, the Matrix emerged in the wake of the Theomachy—the apocalyptic conflict between Primus himself and Unicron. As the myth goes, the Matrix was a byproduct of Primus’ fragmentation, an echo of his will, of creation manifest, cast into physical form. However, scholarly consensus on this origin remains unstable. Some theories posit that the artifact was constructed by the Thirteen themselves as a vessel to contain collective wisdom. [edit this – cite Targon’s 7814 lecture series]

While the “construct” hypothesis has largely fallen out of favor in academic circles, it nevertheless contributed greatly to initial inquiry into early Matrix function. For example, inscriptions once interpreted as exclusive rites of passage have, in pursuit of evidencing the construct theory, been re-translated as collaborative records, suggesting the Matrix may not have been a singularly held relic in its earliest uses [rephrase – unclear]. Where once Zeta Prime was assumed to be its inaugural bearer, recent Golden Age tablet reconstructions hint at shared stewardship among multiple Primes, perhaps in rotation or strategic deployment. [citation needed]

A key philosophical excerpt, widely taught in Ethics of Leadership modules across multiple colonies, has long shaped interpretations of the Matrix’s purpose:

“We are all but fragments of the Matrix…”

Note on attribution: This quote is commonly ascribed to Optimus Primal, who uttered it during the First Maximal Convocation on New Cybertron following the events of the Reformatting. However, a long-standing debate contends that Primal was drawing from older oral traditions, with some tracing similar phrasing to lost sermons of Nexus Prime or even fragmentary verses from the Aurex Codex. Critics of this re-attribution argue that denying Primal ownership of the phrase reflects a broader scholarly bias against Maximal sources, often dismissed in “core-world” academic institutions. The Archives remain neutral on the matter until consensus is reached, but include the quote here due to its last significance in the popular understanding of the Matrix.

— The Archives Administration Post-finalization cleared by Elixion, Acting Head Archivist, in compliance with the recently instituted "draft" protocols

[mariacallous]

Five years ago, in a splashy speech in Washington, DC, Jeff Bezos rolled out Amazon’s Climate Pledge, a series of commitments to show that the company was serious about addressing climate change.

A core component of that pledge, one that Bezos touted in front of members of Congress during Amazon’s antitrust hearing a year later, was putting 100,000 electric delivery vans on the road by 2030. In a blog post from this July—headlined with a picture of a Prime Rivian van driving through an open field filled with wind turbines—the company proclaims that it has now delivered 800 million packages in the US using EVs, with 15,000 trucks on the road in neighborhoods across the country.

But those EVs might not be doing much to help the climate. The company’s US delivery vehicle emissions have potentially shot up an estimated 194 percent since the Climate Pledge went into place in 2019, according to a new report.

The report, released Thursday from corporate campaigners at Stand.earth, attempts to figure out just how much damage shipping the US’s Amazon orders is doing to the planet. It finds that overall emissions from shipping packages have increased 75 percent since 2019, from 3.3 million tons of CO2 equivalents in 2019 to 5.8 million tons last year. The 2.5-million-ton difference is the equivalent of putting 595,000 additional gas-powered cars on the road for a year.

Those Rivian vans are often just delivering the last leg of a package’s life. Before coming to customers’ doorsteps, packages travel by airplane, cargo ship, and/or long-haul truck—transport methods that are both notoriously dirty and tricky to decarbonize.

Doing the math on Amazon’s delivery emissions entails a lot of guesswork. Unlike some of its competitors, Amazon does not break out details on its emissions associated with shipping and delivery. In fact, the company’s annual sustainability report doesn’t give any hard numbers at all on its logistics operations, despite Amazon dominating the US ecommerce market and delivering 4 billion packages in the US within two days in 2023.

“Stand.earth’s work is based on inaccurate data, a broad mischaracterization of our operations, and by their own admission, a methodology based on assumptions and unverified information,” Amazon spokesperson Steve Kelly said in a statement to WIRED. “The truth is that The Climate Pledge is an ambitious commitment for Amazon and the more than 525 companies that have signed up to achieve net zero carbon emissions by 2040. It’s only by taking this on that we can work collectively to transform industries such as shipping, transportation, and the built environment, and we need more companies encouraged to take this direction and quick action.” (As well as committing Amazon to addressing climate change, another aim of the Climate Pledge is to get other companies to follow Amazon’s lead.)

Kelly added: “We’ve continued to publish a detailed, transparent reporting of our year-on-year progress. We encourage everyone to track our progress through our annual Sustainability Report, which has correct data, transparent methodologies, and a third-party assurance.”

The company did not provide WIRED with any additional emissions statistics or other additional data for its shipping and delivery operations.

“We’re doing the best we can with the data available,” says Joshua Archer, a campaigner at Stand.earth and the primary author of the report. “Amazon’s [data] doesn’t even scratch the surface of this massive operations network.”

As a result, the Stand.earth report is based on a mountain of third-party data—all US-based—and math equations to get to some ballpark estimates. UPS and FedEx emissions data disclosed in those companies’ sustainability reports allowed researchers to get an idea of the emissions created by shipping packages by truck in the US. Third-party data from two aviation analytics providers helped to tally up the estimated domestic emissions associated with Amazon Air, a fleet of planes that deliver parcels for the company. Maritime shipping estimates are based on manifest data from US ports where Amazon was a signee. Many of these numbers, the report stresses, are almost certainly an undercount, as authors excluded calculations like emissions associated with package returns and packages shipped or delivered by third-party carriers due to lack of data.

The main culprit for Amazon’s increased shipping emissions, the report finds, is from airplanes: US emissions associated with Amazon Air have skyrocketed 67 percent since 2019. According to Kelly, Amazon’s overall emissions have increased since 2019 due to the company’s expansion during the pandemic.

“When you think of things people order through Amazon, a lot of them are things you don’t need the next day,” Archer says. “Nevertheless, they’re getting shipped on airplanes.”

This trend tracks with the rest of the industry. During the pandemic, port disruptions around the world forced providers to switch over to airplanes to transport cargo; much of this air infrastructure remains in place today. Simultaneously, the US ecommerce market shot up by 43 percent in 2020 as everyone stuck inside ordered more and more stuff. In 2023, the US shipped 21.7 billion parcels—that’s 687 packages every second.

There’s one area where things are improving for Amazon: according to the Stand.earth report, emissions per package have been dropping for Amazon since 2020, which, Archer says, is largely thanks to loading more parcels on bigger planes. (Kelly says that the company’s overall carbon intensity—measuring the efficiency of its operations—has improved by 34 percent since 2019, even as its overall emissions went up.) In comparison, UPS’s package emissions intensity has consistently risen since 2020, thanks in part to its increased reliance on aviation.

But even considering small improvements like these, the aggressive growth Amazon has driven over the past few years is, in many ways, incompatible with sustainability. “Keep an eye on the skies for even more A330s delivering for Amazon customers in the coming months and years,” Amazon concludes in a blog post touting its new, more efficient cargo planes. Unless greener alternatives to jet fuel become available years ahead of schedule, it will be impossible for the company to add more planes to its fleet without also making emissions jump up.

“Amazon prides itself on being an ambitious and innovative company, but it’s making quite a problem for itself with its air freight cargo growth,” Archer says. “If Amazon is serious about climate progress, that’s a really easy place to start: stop flying so much.”

Amazon is no stranger to climate criticism. Its overall emissions have skyrocketed since it rolled out the Climate Pledge in 2019, despite an incremental drop in 2023. Last year, Amazon lost the support of a key UN-backed global climate organization, the Science Based Targets Initiative, for not meeting certain deadlines to set targets to reduce emissions; it was one of nearly two dozen companies axed by SBTI from its list of climate-conscious companies. In July, Amazon Employees for Climate Justice, an employee group, released a report criticizing the company’s calculations around its claim that it had met a sustainable energy goal. In 2023, Amazon quietly eliminated a goal to make half its shipments carbon neutral by 2030—a goal which, the company says, was superseded by the larger Climate Pledge.

Part of the issue in calculating emissions for Amazon is just how sprawling the challenges it faces are, thanks to its relentless vertical integration: the Wall Street Journal reported in May that in order to expand its control over its logistics processes, the company had already leased, bought, or announced plans to expand warehouse space in the US by 16 million square feet this year. Kelly said in an email in response to WIRED’s request for comment that the vast network of logistics the company has built allows it to deliver packages closer to their destination and avoid driving long miles.

Reading the company’s sustainability report is an exercise in understanding a variety of different ambitious technical and sociological climate goals across different industries involved in its supply chain. In response to WIRED’s request for comment, Kelly listed out Amazon’s membership in two business organizations advancing sustainable shipping, its membership in a buyers’ alliance encouraging the adoption of sustainable aviation fuel, and its investment in electric trucking: in May, the company put 50 electric trucks on the road in Southern California.

“I think it creates a lot of challenges for the broader transportation industry if every company just does what Amazon does and brings air freight in house,” Archer says. “Then you’ll have a situation where a lot of people are flying a lot of planes.”

There’s a real question of whether or not the company making significant changes would just move emissions from one company’s balance sheet to another’s as the rest of the industry keeps growing. Atlas Air, a subcontractor of Amazon Air, announced in May that it would stop domestic flights carrying Amazon parcels in favor of concentrating on other customers, including Chinese ecommerce titans Shein and Temu.

Still, with Amazon dominating so much of the US market—and with the capacity to kick off trends that other suppliers then follow, like expedited shipping—the company has an opportunity to set an aggressive example, like throwing a substantial effort into decreasing plane use and helping the US build out infrastructure for more sustainable long-haul trucking. (The company didn’t provide figures on how much it has spent on partnerships, research, lobbying, or other activities to decarbonize the trucking sector in the US.)

As for that splashy electric van pledge? The Stand.earth report projects that at Amazon’s current growth rates, if the company puts all the electric vans it promises on the roads by the end of the decade, that would still only account for a third of the company’s deliveries. If Amazon’s sales keep growing on pace, it would need 400,000 EVs to deliver all its packages.

“The 100,000 vans by 2030 is way too little, way too late,” Archer says.

[dqzaiie]

who do you think will join the port mafia?

thank you for the question, anon!

i’m not entirely sure which ada member will be transferred to the port mafia, but i do believe this is best determined through the process of elimination.

the preface this, i am ruling out the clerks, as i don’t believe they would be beneficial to the port mafia. it would be quite unproductive of mori to choose one of them. (unless he chooses naomi to force tanizaki’s hand? though i don’t particularly believe in that theory.)

okay, let’s begin.

core agents:

while mori does want a member, this is not to the agency’s detriment. therefore, the pillar members are very unlikely to be chosen—these members being fukuzawa, ranpo, yosano, and kunikida. we can effectively rule them out as follows: fukuzawa’s ability maintains stability within the ada, ranpo’s deduction isn’t suited for a mafioso, yosano has been deemed off-limits, and kunikida is fukuzawa’s successor.

kyouka:

another agent who i believe is unlikely to be chosen is kyouka, as kouyou and mori have both shown to be impressed by her resolve to better herself, and i can’t imagine them forcing her back into the mafia after all of that growth. kouyou especially—she has given up on trying to take kyouka back, and is actively trying to keep her from the port mafia now.

as for members who are possible contenders, we are left with dazai, tanizaki, atsushi, and kenji.

atsushi:

i don’t really believe they will choose atsushi. to my knowledge, he still requires all men are equal to have full control over his ability, and if he were to leave the agency, fukuzawa’s ability would no longer have an effect on him. he has been training, but i don’t think he’s had enough time to master byakko yet.

however, i could see why he would be chosen from a narrative standpoint. it would provide the audience a new perspective, and allow further development for many characters. we cannot entirely rule him out, especially since the port mafia has been gunning for him since day one (though that was due to a contract from the guild. still, i suppose it stands.)

dazai:

i’d hope mori wouldn’t pick dazai, though, i have seen some compelling arguments as to why he may be chosen. in forcing dazai out of the port mafia, mori has shown to hold some regret, despite having chosen the “optimal solution”.

there is also the case of potential foreshadowing in the osamu dazai and the dark era light novel, with mori saying to odasaku, “…dazai’s capabilities are astounding. i’m sure in four or five years, he’ll have killed me and taken my place.” this takes place when dazai was eighteen, which would place him at around twenty-two or twenty-three.

all things considered, i don’t think it’ll be him. dazai has made too many strides toward fulfilling his promise to odasaku for mori to take him back now, and in disrupting that, i believe there would only be a severe backlash. i think mori will keep dazai’s executive position open and available to him, not force him back into it.

this leaves us with two possible agents: jun'ichirou and kenji. i have seen extensive reasoning as to why either of them may be chosen, and to be honest, i’m quite conflicted myself.

kenji:

kenji’s ability would be very useful to the port mafia, but his naïveté might be a disadvantage. he also may fall under the same category as atsushi in not being able to maintain full control over his ability without fukuzawa, but he has been shown to have precautions in place, so i cannot confirm that he needs the safety net. he is certainly a valuable asset to both organizations, and i don’t believe he would be opposed so long as he is protecting the agency.

tanizaki:

tanizaki has been the fan favorite for “most likely to be transferred over”, and i can’t say i disagree. initially, he was my pick as well. it has been foreshadowed multiple times, with hirotsu claiming his ability is suited for assassination, to tanizaki attempting to kill mori, and even jun'ichirou outright volunteering himself in yosano’s place. he has been shown to not be opposed to killing so long as he is protecting naomi and his friends. this idea is expanded on in the third light novel, untold origins of the detective agency.

“…tanizaki felt he was mediocre at his job, held mediocre principles, and had a mediocre sense of justice…”

i believe that he very well may be chosen, as this would provide him the development which his character has been severely lacking.

however, i wouldn’t put it past asagiri to disregard those statements entirely and find a way to surprise us—it’s just what he does lol.

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this New York Times story:

Skylar Holden, a cattle rancher in Missouri, had signed a $240,000 cost-sharing contract with the Agriculture Department to add fencing and improve the watering system for his property. But after the Trump administration abruptly froze federal funding, Mr. Holden said, he was suddenly out tens of thousands of dollars and on the hook for tens of thousands more in labor and material costs, and risked losing his farm.

“Whenever my farm payment comes due, there’s a good chance that I’m not going to be able to pay it,” he said in an interview.

Mr. Holden’s situation underlines the potentially precarious position of farmers across the country, as a rapid-fire array of directives by the Trump administration have paused federal funding on a range of programs and grants. Even as courts have halted many of the orders, rural communities are reeling from the effects, setting off confusion and panic among one of President Trump’s core constituencies.

Billions of dollars in funding are at stake. One executive order targets the Inflation Reduction Act, including money for farmers to conserve soil and water and to complete energy projects. Other directives touch on grants to states and producers. Another, which froze U.S. foreign aid spending, temporarily left hundreds of millions of dollars worth of food and supplies sitting in ports and has stopped future purchases of grains and goods.

Farmers, who voted overwhelmingly for Mr. Trump, have already had a tough stretch. In the last two years, falling prices for corn, soybeans and wheat from 2022 high levels have resulted in declines in net farm income. While that figure is projected to rise sharply this year, largely because of government farm payments, the administration’s high-speed policymaking has left many farmers and some agribusinesses wary.

“Farmers don’t need any more uncertainty than they already have,” said Nick Levendofsky, the executive director of the Kansas Farmers Union, which represents about 4,000 farms in the state, most of which are family-owned.

Direct payments to farmers are in peril.

Shortly after being inaugurated, Mr. Trump ordered an indefinite pause on funding provided by the Inflation Reduction Act, President Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s signature climate and domestic spending law. Though a federal judge on Monday ordered the Trump administration to unfreeze the funds, it is unclear when and whether it will follow suit.

Asked if it would release the money, the Agriculture Department did not directly respond, saying only that it had ordered “a comprehensive review” of its contracts, work and personnel. Agency employees who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution said that funding had not been released.

If funds remain frozen, that could affect more than 25,000 conservation contracts worth $1.8 billion funded by the climate change law, potentially involving thousands of farmers nationwide.

The contracts, typically cost-sharing arrangements reached with the Agriculture Department, are enormously popular, with demand exceeding the amount of money available. Under the contract, farmers, ranchers and landowners are reimbursed for practices that help conserve and protect soil, water and the environment. But the funding has become a prime target for the Trump administration because of its connection to Mr. Biden and its focus on climate.

“This isn’t just hippie-dippy stuff,” said Aaron Pape, who raises cattle, pigs and poultry on 300 acres in Wisconsin. “This is affecting mainstream farmers.”

Mr. Pape, who is owed $30,000 for a fencing and water management contract frozen under the directive, said he may be forced to take on additional loans to cover his costs. While he did not vote for Mr. Trump, Mr. Pape said he hoped the president understood that farmers were “the constituency that put you in power and the actions you are taking are having serious, immediate ramifications for our livelihood.”

More than a dozen farmers and ranchers told The New York Times that the tumult had made it more difficult to plan for the year, affecting decisions on seed and equipment purchases. Many expressed worry that the administration could again pause future payments with little warning or take aim at other programs like disaster relief payments and crop insurance, resulting in untold consequences for the food supply.

[justforbooks]

The Optimist by Keach Hagey

The man who brought us ChatGPT. Sam Altman’s extraordinary career – and personal life – under the microscope

On 30 November 2022, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman tweeted the following, characteristically reserving the use of capital letters for his product’s name: “today we launched ChatGPT. try talking with it here: chat.openai.com”. In a reply to himself immediately below, he added: “language interfaces are going to be a big deal, i think”.

If Altman was aiming for understatement, he succeeded. ChatGPT became the fastest web service to hit 1 million users, but more than that, it fired the starting gun on the AI wars currently consuming big tech. Everything is about to change beyond recognition, we keep being told, though no one can agree on whether that will be for good or ill.

This moment is just one of many skilfully captured in Wall Street Journal reporter Keach Hagey’s biography of Altman, who, like his company, was then virtually unknown outside of the industry. He is a confounding figure throughout the book, which charts his childhood, troubled family life, his first failed startup Loopt, his time running the startup incubator Y Combinator, and the founding of OpenAI.

Altman, short, slight, Jewish and gay, appears not to fit the typical mould of the tech bro. He is known for writing long, earnest essays about the future of humankind, and his reputation was as more of an arch-networker and money-raiser than an introverted coder in a hoodie.

OpenAI, too, was supposed to be different from other tech giants: it was set up as a not-for-profit, committed by its charter to work collaboratively to create AI for humanity’s benefit, and made its code publicly available. Altman would own no shares in it.

He could commit to this, as he said in interviews, because he was already rich – his net worth is said to be around $1.5bn (£1.13bn) – as a result of his previous investments. It was also made possible because of his hyper-connectedness: as Hagey tells it, Altman met his software engineer husband Oliver Mulherin in the hot tub of PayPal and Palantir co-founder Peter Thiel at 3am, when Altman, 29, was already a CEO, and Mulherin was a 21-year-old student.

Thiel was a significant mentor to Altman, but not nearly so central to the story of OpenAI as another notorious Silicon Valley figure – Elon Musk. The Tesla and SpaceX owner was an initial co-founder and major donor to the not-for-profit version of OpenAI, even supplying its office space in its early years.

That relationship has soured into mutual antipathy – Musk is both suing OpenAI and offering (somewhat insincerely) to buy it – as Altman radically altered the company’s course. First, its commitment to releasing code publicly was ditched. Then, struggling to raise funds, it launched a for-profit subsidiary. Soon, both its staff and board worried the vision of AI for humanity was being lost amid a rush to create widely used and lucrative products.

This leads to the book’s most dramatic sections, describing how OpenAI’s not-for-profit board attempted an audacious ousting of Altman as CEO, only for more than 700 of the company’s 770 engineers to threaten to resign if he was not reinstated. Within five days, Altman was back, more powerful than ever.

OpenAI has been toying with becoming a purely private company. And Altman turns out to be less of an anomaly in Silicon Valley than he once seemed. Like its other titans, he seems to be prepping for a potential doomsday scenario, with ranch land and remote properties. He is set to take stock in OpenAI after all. He even appears to share Peter Thiel’s supposed interest in the potential for transfusions of young blood to slow down ageing.

The Optimist serves to remind us that however unprecedented the consequences of AI models might be, the story of their development is a profoundly human one. Altman is the great enigma at its core, seemingly acting with the best of intentions, but also regularly accused of being a skilled and devious manipulator.

For students of the lives of big tech’s other founders, a puzzling question remains: in a world of 8 billion human beings, why do the stories of the people wreaking such huge change in our world end up sounding so eerily alike?

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[tineeericeee]

What Waits Off the Coast Of Santa Barbara

Chapter 3: If You Can’t Cut The Tension, Just Cutting the Netting Will Be Fine

Notes: oh my god it lives

Sorry for the long wait lmao, brain wasn’t working and would only let me add a few sentences every now and then :P

—————

Lassiter felt something poking his side. Something sharp. Some kind of spear? A harpoon? Whatever it was, it was bothering him. Alcohol still sloshed around his brain, hindering his thought process. So he tried shoving the thing away. He’d barely touched it when it disappeared. He allowed his arm to relax, and shuffled deeper into the cool sand-

Wait. Sand?

He tried peeking his eyes open, but that just invited a world of stabbing pain right behind his corneas. So he shut them tight and kept them closed.

He thought back, slowly remembering the night. Getting a drink at Tom Blair’s Pub, and then… going for a walk… finding a ripped up tarp…

As his still-drunk brain tried to remember what happened, the thing came back and started poking him again. This time, he tried grabbing it — to no avail. But just before it slipped out of his grip, he recognized the feeling of keratin under his touch.

Keratin…

Wasn’t that the same substance that made up fingernails?

His eyes shot open, headache be damned. Sure enough, a large finger with an equally large claw hovered just a foot away from him, preparing to poke the detective once more.

Lassiter leapt up and backpedaled away from it, kicking up sand as he tried — and failed multiple times — to stand, trying to put as much distance between him and the…

‘Oh yeah. The humongous merman unconscious on the beach. The one he had passed out right next to.’ His brain supplied the last bit of information he was missing.

But he wasn’t unconscious now, his eyes half lidded and staring at Lassiter.

Eyes that were greener than the grass on the other side of the road, shining brighter than emeralds.

Eyes that were wandering over Lassiter’s shaking body.

Eyes that were full of pain.

‘Right. The netting.’ The threads looked to be cinched tighter than earlier, the skin an angrier red. He watched as the merman moved slightly, sand shifting around as he tried pulling free the arm that had been wrapped up. Only to immediately stop, letting out a bubbly hiss.

Lassiter was wary as the merman turned to look at him once more. As he stared back, something tugged inside his chest. Almost against his will, he took a step forward.

‘Stop stop stop stop stop what are you doing you need to stop-’

The alcohol still lingering in his brain wouldn’t let him stop, legs stumbling closer and closer to the merman. He numbly began digging through his suit pockets as he walked on, the merman watching with hopeful yet still cautious eyes. Eventually his hands wrapped around his Swiss knife, and he flipped the blade open. The merman flinched a bit at the sharp object, but held still as Lassiter kept slowly approaching.

“Okay, I’m gonna- god, where do I start?” He stared for a moment at the snarled mess of string surrounding skin and scales alike. “How did this even happen?”

Lassiter watched him open and close his mouth, as if to speak, but seemingly struggling to string together a single word. He abruptly stopped trying and growled in frustration as his mouth refused to cooperate.

The sound waves resonated deep within Lassiter’s body, slightly shaking him to his core. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He resolved his dilemma and simply grabbed the closest cluster of netting, cutting through the threads. Tiny snaps slowly began to break through the air.

As Lassiter slowly but surely cut away the net, he found his eyes darting between the task at hand and… well, the merman’s hand.

It was in his nature to be skeptical of everyone he met, and the merman was by no means an exception. This trait of his helped him especially as a police officer, and eventually head detective. It didn’t help him so much as Carlton Lassiter though, pushing people away and causing him to have no friends.

Soon enough, the monotony of what he was doing got to him — as well as the insanity — and he was pulled into the deeper recesses of his thoughts.

Why was he even doing this? What would he get from it? Other than the small satisfaction that he had helped a… creature, a very attractive one at that. Though that small factoid had nothing to do with the situation he’d found himself in. Definitely not. It hadn’t swayed his decision making process at all.

This… this was nuts. The whole situation shouldn’t even be happening right now. It was impossible. Not just the fact that apparently mermaids existed, but they were huge.

How did they manage to stay hidden for so long? Something this big couldn’t hide forever. There had to have been some sightings, some footage or… anything, really.

‘But they have been seen,’ he thought to himself as he numbly continued cutting away green threads. People had seen the fabled creatures. Of course, it’d been hundreds of years ago, back when people were so scared of the unknown they would practically believe anything.

Nowadays, witness accounts claiming mermaid sightings were seen as signs of some kind of mental illness or hysteria, and chalked up to hallucinations — along with a recommendation to visit the nearest mental institution.

Lassiter was broken out of his thoughts when the sound of netting breaking was replaced with the merman hissing in pain once more. He looked down and noticed he’d accidentally nicked him with his knife. “Sorry.”

The merman once again tried to speak. But this time he managed to get something out. “Just… ffffocus…” It came out a little jumbled, as though he hadn’t used his vocal cords in years.

Lassiter hid his shock at the spoken words (not very well, mind you) and continued cutting, shifting around every once in a while to move on to the next batch of tangled knots.

It had been at least thirty minutes when they reached the final stretch: the tail. The merman was getting impatient, having sat up and started rubbing his arm where the netting previously dug in extra tightly.

Lassiter did his best not to look at the merman that was now looming above him rather than laying supine. He tried not to think of how easily he could pick him up and how powerless he’d be against it-

snap

snap

snap-snap-snap

Lassiter pushed out the invasive thoughts, instead focusing on cutting the last remaining chunk wrapped around the caudal fin.

Once the final thread had been cut away, he quickly backed off, giving the merman some space.

He tried not to stare as he stretched all his limbs, pops and cracks echoing over the sandy dunes of the beach. He seemed so much bigger sitting up.

Lassiter then watched, dumbfounded as skin and scales alike began flaking off, blowing away in the wind. Fins and tail crumbled and dissolved, peeling back to reveal human legs. The merman shrank down and down, to a more respectable stature, albeit a bit shorter than the detective’s own height.

Oh, and also naked. Very much naked.

Lassiter was really trying not to stare now. He hadn’t looked up fast enough, however. A smarmy look on the merman was starting to form. He could practically hear the ‘Like what you see?’ that was apparent in the merman’s facial expression.

It was obvious that Lassiter needed to find something to cover up the merman-turned-nude-human with. Not just to protect his dignity, but so Lassiter could actually look at him while also respecting his privacy.

Something in the back of his brain tickled a certain memory, one from not too long ago. A picture of a tarp laying dejected in the sand floated to the front of his mind. ‘Of course, he could just use that.’

“Okay, I’m gonna- uhm, grab a tarp I saw earlier. So you can… cover up… Just- just stay put, I’ll be right back.”

He let out a chuckle, and — very slowly and deliberately — said, “Not… not like I can… go anywhere.”

Oh sweet lady justice was his voice hot. It was still a bit scratchy like earlier, but that didn’t matter. The sound reminded him of the waves crashing against the rocky shore.

He shook his head, and, turning on his foot, trekked through the sand to where he had seen the hole ridden tarp that’d originally caused him to find the merman in the first place.

—————

ao3 link

[therealmistressmidnight]

Polyamory and Practicalities: How Scheduling, Communication, and Boundaries Play a Rolel

Polyamory is often romanticized as a whirlwind of love and connection, but behind the scenes, successful polyamorous relationships require significant effort, especially when balancing multiple partners. It’s not just about the love—it’s about the logistics. For those new to the concept or exploring the idea, here’s a glimpse into the practicalities of polyamory and why scheduling, communication, and boundaries are essential.

Scheduling: The Jigsaw Puzzle of Love

We are finite in time, and in polyamory, dividing it fairly among partners can feel like piecing together an intricate puzzle. Without careful planning, it’s easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing one partner over another or neglecting personal downtime altogether.

Here are a few tips for navigating the time-management aspect of polyamory:

1. Use a Shared Calendar: Apps like Google Calendar are lifesavers for polycules. Everyone involved can see availability and plan dates or events accordingly.

2. Prioritize Quality Time: It's not about how much time you spend but the quality of the time together. Whether it’s a romantic dinner or a Netflix binge, focus on creating meaningful moments.

3. Balance Personal Needs: Don’t forget to carve out solo time for self-care and reflection. Constant socializing can lead to burnout, even in the most fulfilling relationships.

Communication: The Heartbeat of Polyamory

Communication is already vital in monogamous relationships, but in polyamory, it’s the cornerstone that holds everything together. Miscommunication or lack of clarity can create tension, jealousy, or misunderstandings.

Here’s how to keep communication strong:

1. Be Transparent: Share your feelings, needs, and concerns openly. This includes discussing your availability, emotional state, and any changes in circumstances.

2. Active Listening: It’s not just about talking; it’s about truly hearing and understanding your partner’s perspective.

3. Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time to discuss how everyone is feeling about the dynamic. Use this space to address any concerns, celebrate the positives, and adjust boundaries if needed.

Boundaries: The Safety Net

Boundaries are not about restrictions; they’re about creating a framework that allows everyone to feel safe and respected. Each person in the relationship should feel empowered to set their own boundaries and have them honored.

Important aspects of boundary-setting include:

1. Defining Relationship Types: Are certain activities exclusive to specific partners? For example, some people reserve sexual intimacy or certain rituals for a primary partner.

2. Emotional Boundaries: Be clear about how much emotional labor you can offer and what support you need in return.

3. Respecting Autonomy: Recognize that each partner has their own life, needs, and desires. Avoid micromanaging or imposing restrictions without mutual agreement.

The Challenges and Rewards

Balancing scheduling, communication, and boundaries isn’t always easy. There will be moments of conflict, missteps, and learning curves. However, when these elements are handled thoughtfully, the rewards are immense: deeper connections, personal growth, and the joy of loving freely and authentically.

Polyamory, at its core, is about celebrating love in all its forms. The logistics may take effort, but they’re a small price to pay for the richness and fulfillment that a polyamorous life can bring.

Whether you’re a curious newcomer or already exploring polyamory, remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt will always be your greatest tools.

What are your thoughts on navigating the practicalities of polyamory? I’d love to hear your experiences or insights in the comments!

[dkaufmandevelopment]

Blackstone Surges to Record High: A Closer Look at Their Impressive Q3 Results

Blackstone, the world's largest commercial property owner, achieved a remarkable milestone on Thursday as its shares surged to a record high. This impressive performance comes on the heels of better-than-expected third-quarter results and an improved real estate investment performance. Let’s dive into the factors driving this success and what it means for the market.

Key Highlights from Q3

In the third quarter, Blackstone invested or committed a staggering $54 billion, marking the highest amount in over two years. This surge in investment activity is attributed to the Federal Reserve’s recent rate cut in September, which significantly reduced the cost of capital. The U.S. central bank’s previous rate hikes had stymied real estate deals and financing, leading to increased defaults in the office market affected by corporate cost-cutting and the rise of hybrid and remote work.

Stephen Schwarzman, Blackstone’s Chief Executive, emphasized the positive impact of the rate cut, stating, “Easing the cost of the capital will be very positive for Blackstone’s asset values. It will be a catalyst for transaction activity.” This sentiment was echoed by Jonathan Gray, President and Chief Operating Officer, who noted that while commercial real estate sentiment is improving, it remains cautious.

Strategic Investments and Areas of Focus

Blackstone has been proactive in planting the “seeds of future value” by substantially increasing its pace of investment. A key area of focus is the revolutionary advancements in artificial intelligence (AI) and the associated digital and energy infrastructure. In September, Blackstone announced the $16 billion purchase of AirTrunk, the largest data center operator in the Asia-Pacific region. This acquisition is part of Blackstone’s $70 billion investment in data centers, with over $100 billion in prospective pipeline development.

Other notable investment themes include renewable energy transition, private credit, and India’s emergence as a major economy. These strategic areas highlight Blackstone’s commitment to innovation and growth.

Recovery in Commercial Real Estate

The Blackstone Real Estate Income Trust (BREIT), a benchmark for the industry, reported a 93% slump in investor stock redemption requests from a peak. This indicates a recovery in investor confidence and a shift towards positive net inflows of capital. BREIT’s core-plus real estate investments, which include stable, income-generating, high-quality real estate, showed a 0.5% decline in Q3 performance, an improvement from a 3.8% drop over the past 12 months. The riskier opportunistic real estate investments posted a 1.1% increase, reversing previous declines.

Student Housing and Data Centers

Among rental housing, student housing has emerged as a significant focus. Wesley LePatner, set to become BREIT CEO on Jan. 1, highlighted the structural undersupply in the U.S. student housing market, emphasizing its potential as an all-weather asset class. BREIT has consistently met investor redemption requests for several months, showcasing strong performance.

Furthermore, the demand for data centers remains robust. QTS, which Blackstone took private in 2021, recorded more leasing activity last year than the preceding three years combined. Such sectors, once considered niche, are now integral to the commercial real estate landscape.

Financial Performance and Outlook

Blackstone’s third-quarter net income soared to approximately $1.56 billion, up from $920.7 million a year earlier. Distributable earnings, profit available to shareholders, rose to $1.28 billion from $1.21 billion. Total assets under management jumped 10% to about $1.11 trillion, driven by inflows to its credit and insurance segment.

The Path Forward

As Blackstone continues to navigate the evolving market landscape, it remains focused on identifying “interesting places to deploy capital.” With a robust investment strategy and a keen eye on emerging trends, Blackstone is well-positioned for future growth.

Join the Conversation: What are your thoughts on Blackstone’s impressive Q3 performance and strategic investments? How do you see these trends impacting the broader real estate market? Share your insights and engage with our community!