#Adhd diary

[silencefromheaven]

what if it all works out?

what if you overcome your fears and become stronger than you've ever imagined?

what if all this will be worth it?

what if life will be actually magnificent and kind and full of love, sunshine and hope?

what if you're anxiety is lying to you?

[rungosturr]

I have ADHD diagnosis, so I often see posts proposition on Instagram about it

But my Beatle-washed brain just read it as AHDN

Sometimes I dont know if I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or A Hard Days Night lol

Maybe its just AHDN ADHD

[merryslilhobbit]

Being able to have ADHD RSD & PMS at the same time is nature really taking the piss.

So I have a work thing to go to soon. A colleague/friend offered me a lift, and suggested we bring my Cutie. This was agreed upon in principle by everyone.

Another colleague - nice guy, have known him for several years, lets call him B - today offers to drive Cutie and myself (I think) to the work thing, along with another colleague. Now, for normal people this isn't an issue. Either you say, "I've already got a lift, but thanks anyway" or "That would be cool, I haven't fixed plans with the other person" or something like that.

Me however? Welcome to my brain....

Was B asking both of us or just Cutie? If he was asking both, was he just being nice since I happened to be there? Because obviously I have a terrible history of friendships with men - in my mind 99% think I'm weird, and probably want to be out of my presence as quickly as possible. So was he just being polite? He probably wouldn't have invited me as well if I hadn't been there (even though he lives about 5 minutes from my house & could easily give me a lift). Cutie seemed up for it, but being a good person mentioned that we already had an offer, but it wasn't firmed up. That we didn't know times for leaving/coming back yet. But Cutie and B (and the other colleague) are similar ages, and they're all men so they'd probably much rather travel/hang out with each other than me (about 5-10 years older) and my friend. Which makes sense. But I was looking forward to travelling with Cutie. And I don't want to get stuck alone with my friend. Don't get me wrong, she's lovely and all that but she's a "normal woman" and while I absolutely appreciate everything she's done for me and her kindness and thoughtfulness, I just don't feel like I meet "female expectations" and spending relatively long amounts of time with "normal women" tends to make me feel inadequate and crap. Plus I have a tendency to just open up and blurt out how I'm actually feeling with her and being way too TMI, and I don't want to show up at the event a complete mess. Plus I don't want her driving alone, after she's kindly offered. But then if Cutie and I travel separately, we might end up sitting separately and quite frankly I wouldn't be going to this work thing if he wasn't going.

So that kind gesture that B made?

Yeah, fried my head. All of this going on in a loop while the world carries on like normal.

I am so tired right now.

[elitemaomaosequanimity]

Definition of a Brilliant dumbass

[mopearound]

I can't remember what i was gonna do...

I can't figure out if these adhd meds are helping. Like my mind feels quiet but then there's moments like this.

I think i was gonna buy flowers for my gf and figure out if i can buy chasu pork in my area. Trying to support local places.

I just deep cleaned the bathroom and washed the table cloth. I ordered a new shower curtain. I need a new duspan. I'm so hungry Im shaking. It just feels like usual but slower.

[adhdinmyveins]

"Getting an adhd diagnosis is freeing. It helps you understand yourself better and give yourself the time and accomodation to feel better

.

Sir, I agree with you but now how do I stop? "Because I have adhd" is now one of the biggest contributors in my daily thoughts. And sometimes, it feels like I have no autonomy and I'm who I am because I have adhd. I don't have a quirky personality, it's because I have adhd. I'm not a visual thinker cuz I'm special, I see pictures in my brain because have adhd, I'm not an empathetic person who is easily approachable because I have a nice personality, it's because I have adhd. Do you see what I mean?

[soupexpertt]

I've seen a lot of comedic duos with a super cheerful girl and an autistic coded analytical guy who doesn't realize she's into him. It's amazing that the apothecary diaries technically does the reverse thing with a girl whose hyperfixations became her job and a manwhore of a guy who thinks she's fun

[gwaindrifter]

An observation I made watching Apothecary Diaries.

[i-think-too-loud]

rip jeremy knox you’d love sending 16 voice messages in a row and never actually getting to your point

[rainydaystroll]

X X X - X X X - X X X

[jirai-dirt-2009]

Me: I’m not weird at all

Also me whenever something I like is mentioned: OMG YAYAYAYAYAYAYSY *barking and random noses happily while banging my hands together*

[elitemaomaosequanimity]

One of the hardest things I realized after watching The Apothecary Diaries was that just because Maomao had people around her did not mean she was necessarily being cared for. The women of Verdigris weren’t bad, at least not on the surface.

They allowed her to stay, and in some ways, they gave her more independence than most girls typically received during that time.

In The Apothecary Diaries, Maomao didn’t have the luxury of being a child. There wasn’t anyone she could turn to when she was scared when she was lost, when she was hurt. Anyone to wipe away her tears, anyone to tell her she was loved and wanted.

That’s why she is what she is, why she’s become so independent, why she doesn’t turn to other people for comfort, why she uses logic and distance as a defense. Not that she doesn’t feel. It’s just that she learned a long time ago that feelings wouldn’t help her.

So, when we meet Maomao in the present timeline of The Apothecary Diaries, she’s not exactly the kind of person who shows her vulnerability. She’s super smart, very observant, and very skilled, but she kinda keeps an emotional distance from those around her. And honestly, I get it. If you grow up where nobody pays attention to your feelings, you just stop hoping that anyone will care.

Her trauma manifests in subtle ways: her reluctance to depend on others, her tendency to downplay her own suffering, and her deep-rooted self-sufficiency that sometimes borders on self-isolation. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be cared for. She is just accustomed to living in a world where care is a luxury, not a given.

So, it’s all too easy to view Maomao as merely another emotionally withdrawn protagonist, but she’s much more than that. Her trauma is embedded within every aspect of her personality, shaping her behaviors, her interactions, and her perspective.

Her experience has taught her that attachments are conditional, and she naturally keeps people at arm’s length. However, Jinshi’s persistence in treating her with respect and curiosity is something she isn’t used to. While she doesn’t openly express it, the fact that she doesn’t completely push him away speaks volumes about her yearning for connection, even if she won’t admit it.

[notjustanymahogany]

I don't know what the consensus is among Apothecary Diaries fans and autistic people, but MaoMao is for sure autistic right? I can't be the only person thinking this

[argonavis-karina]

that one apothecary diaries scene where the ladies are all feeling bad for maomao cause they think she’s had a rough past and her parents were abusive while in reality she’s just autistic is the literal depiction of my life

[herasushi]

irisssss irisss irissssssss iris from the murderbot diaries (im sorry i wont finish this one)

[beachf4gz]

need sum1 who has been to uni before to confirm or deny if suddenly sleeping 12 hrs every day is standard