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crosseyedcricketart · 1 year ago

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New Year, 2024.

website post here.

Happy New Year everyone!

For this upcoming year, I intend on growing what I started last year. I’ve already started the new year with a family trip, to extend the Christmas holidays, and I have intentions of growing my art portfolio. I already have subjects in mind for what I’d like to create and do.

My art is going to be a large focus of this year; I fully intend to continue my education and get my bachelors and maybe even masters, but I also want to be able to jump on growing my footprint in the art world if I’m given that opportunity. I have a grasp on tumblr and it being an area where I can grow my name in art. I’ve been thinking about the thought of selling art prints of my art, and I’ve been looking into that since then. That way, I could have acrylic, watercolor, and my oil paintings available. I am not ignorant to myself, I am very aware that I get attached to paintings, so this way I could still sell my art while keeping the original for myself. I also think that would workout well for larger works, such as Two Sturgeons, which is 24” x 24”, and that would be terrible to mail to a customer. But, if I could downscale that to a 8” x 8”, 12” x 12”, or 16” x 16”, it’s much more manageable to ship. Plus, prints are much cheaper to purchase than originals. I feel like I personally have a disconnect from the “buy art as an investment collectable” area of the art world. I had professors who whined and griped about how prints or smaller works would reduce the price of my name, and mess like that. But honestly, I don’t view it like that. I don’t view art like a stock. I’m too sentimental for that. Art is a lot of things, but it’s not a financial investment in my opinion. So I want to make prints, so that whoever wants them has a more financially accessible way to experience that art. Art takes money. Original art takes a lot of money. But prints take less than originals. Plus, I can still sign them and write any information about the painting on the back of a print. So I’ve been dancing that thought around my head recently.

This recent trip has once again ignited my desire to paint. I feel like most creative avenues take the ebbs and flows of highly creative and impassioned, creating a work, then needing to recharge after completing the work. So I’m in that recharging stage currently. I’ve been dabbling in digital art, but I don’t particularly want that to be my focus. This area always ignites me. It just does. I don’t think I could explain it if I tried. Granted, this trip was not nearly as relaxing as any previous trips have been. I would never claim that. Externally, the water and area has been peaceful. Within the trip, it’s been stressful. Aside from that, I’ve been enjoying the shoals. I love winter. I just do. I know some people aren’t the biggest fans of winter, but I certainly find it to be wonderful. At the same time, though, I love layering my clothes and my fashion of choice is sweaters. So. That tends to lend itself to winter.

The south normally doesn’t have intense winters, but these last few years have been more and more intense it seems. I’ve been having to wear actual winter clothing for once. While we were in the Shoals, it was quite obvious how certain parts of the community were not prepared for 30 degree days. Which is certainly understandable. Personally, I’ve been expanding this area of my wardrobe with nicer pieces from Quince. I’ve been loving their cotton items. I also got one of their cashmere pieces, the cashmere skirt, and it is wonderful in this colder weather. I love it. I think that for the price, with the materials being used, it is a very good purchase.

On the thought of my trip to the Shoals, I feel like it should be noted that I, obviously, had to pack, and I actually used the Glossier “the Makeup Bag” for my makeup. Now, I took the organizational insert out of the bag and used that main area. I brought my Pat McGrath Labs palette, two 9-pan Colourpop palettes, one 12-pan Colourpop palette, six lipglosses, a concealer, a lot of brushes, mascara, highlighter, powder, liquid blush, and an eyelash curler, all in that bag. Plus, I put my little bracelets and hair ties in the outer pocket. And honestly… I really liked it. I really liked how it was packed, I liked how it laid in my luggage, it kept everything intact and sound. I actually dropped my luggage down the stairs and it landed on my arm (oops), the luggage had to sit on top of a collapsed dog kennel, and I opened my luggage a bit aggressively, and through all of that, everything in that bag stayed safe and sound. So I would like to redact my review on the Glossier bag and revise it here; It is a very good bag, however, it is a bit expensive. If you have the money and really want it, then I think you would love it. I think you can find comparable for a lower price, but I don’t think this is a bad bag. I think if you want it you’ll enjoy it.

I really hope to be able to travel more this year. I want to be able to paint more and create more paintings, I want to be able to share more of my travels through that, and I hope that I’ll be able to grow into that. I hope to do more than I did last year, and I hope to grow as I do it. I hope this blog will be able to grow with me, too.

#blog post #travel journal #art journal #art #travel #travel thoughts #crosseyed.cricket #traveling #autistic artist #travel blog #art blog #wordpress

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spitdrunken · 3 years ago

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Ngl I feel so wrong for having read so much on your blog in the span of an hour or so 😭😭 I'm a kink baby (not like littles, I'm into freaky stuff but I don't know the term for those newly/inexperienced with the stuff) and seeing the blankshipping makes me feel both so wrong yet so turned on??? Like???

I can't help but to fantasize over the submas twins corrupting their younger sister as they start to show interest in her. Like I read the Volo innocence post you wrote and I started thinking of something similar to those lines but for the submas twins. Maybe the younger sister was always their little princess that they spoiled and doted on and she repays the kindness by being super clingy and loving towards them? Like she's the pinnacle of what the twins want to protect so what better way than to become her lovers? They would hate to see their younger sister be taken and used by some random man so why not just show her everything she can gain with them? I imagine that they start slowly corrupting them and turning her into their little sub and fucking her senseless because that's what their sister deserves <3

Idk if that's weird or not but I really like your blog :)

notes: incest, grooming (all characters are 18+ during nsfw sections, but their dynamic as children is discussed)

hi anon!! i’m sorry for taking a while to get to this, but you’re so valid okay <33 i know when you’re first getting into ‘darker’ / more ‘’’gross’’’ (not my opinion but what it likely feels like to you at the moment) stuff you can feel guilty sometimes, but there’s nothing to feel bad about! enjoying this kind of stuff is super common. (just look at prnhub, anime / visual novels, the amount of fics in the ‘1ncest’ tag on ao3, etc etc.) i hope that made you feel a little better!! onto the actual content though <3

first off, that’s not weird at all-!! i have a very similar, expanded au with my girlfriend where ‘you’ are basically the submas’ little sister, so your idea is more than welcome here <3

Ingo is someone with an inherently caring nature. He enjoys looking after people, guiding them to their destinations and, in personal matters, he is much the same. While growing up, he was often fussier than your mother, but also praised you more than anyone else. Both of the twins insist on you following the rules laid out by your parents, but Ingo is more strict. (Who would sometimes sneak you an extra piece of candy!) From a young age, he’s had a fascination with dressing you up. The cuter, the better! His choices would really make you feel like a princess. He’s more passive than his brother, and would feel a little sad watching you have fun without him, but he’s more likely to try and let it go.

Emmet just thinks you are the cutest! Your smile is the absolute best one ever, and he would do anything to keep you happy. This is the primary reasons he lets you a little loose sometimes, but only under his direct supervision. Emmet is already notably jealous as a kid, and doesn’t like you or Ingo spending time around anyone else. He’s the main reason you grow up somewhat secluded, actively interfering in your friendships with others. Kids are often a little selfish, however, Emmet never entirely grows out of it. He wants what’s best for you, but on his terms, because he knows best.

Everyone thought it was adorable how little you fought while growing up, and how inseparable you were. Now that you’re adults, though... It’s a bit more weird.

You’ve never stopped being sweet and adorable to them, they never stopped wanting the best for you and wanting to protect you! Through their work as Subway Bosses, they’ve gotten to meet so many people, and realised that... Tons of people are terrible. Horribly rude and completely dismissive of any and all safety regulations! Sure, not everyone sucks, but when imagining you dating some stranger... They can’t imagine it going well. It’s a common subject between the two of them. They are actively concerned about you getting a crush on someone. Thankfully, you always tell them you still love your big brothers the most ♡!

(At the same time, I love the idea of you essentially having a bit of a puppy crush on your big brothers... Since their job has made them decently famous, there’s a lot of content featuring them online! When you read romantic self insert fanfiction about your brothers, that’s definitely just to laugh at how they’re written! Nothing else!!)

After one more conversation about ‘the state of humanity in regards to our little sister’s dating options’, Emmet asks: Why shouldn’t we date her? There are a million arguments against it. First off all, you’re related. But Emmet plays on Ingo’s emotions, he knows how worried he is about you, and how guilty he feels about is poorly hidden feelings for you. Emmet is the one who will end up taking the lead. You trust and love your brothers the most, so it only makes sense they’d take your most important firsts too... (Emmet will end up jerking Ingo off while whispering fantasies about you into his ear. How tight you would be about your big brother’s cock, how cutely you’d moan, how nice you’d look in a cute set of underwear... He cums embarrassingly fast.)

You’re already so clingy, that it’s easy to ease you into a bit more affection! Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, pulling you on to his lap... All of that is easy for Emmet. You happily soak up all of the extra attention. When you complain eventually about being permanently single, Emmet will ‘jokingly’ ask about preparing for the future ahead of you... He’ll offer. to teach you how to kiss! You get so embarrassed you can’t get a word out, but when he softly pecks you on the lips you can’t find it in yourself to protest too much. By the end of it, you’re making out with him on the couch, sitting flush against him on his lap.

Emmet has been hiding his feelings for you for so long, and is so intent on ruining you for anyone else, that there’s a decent chance he’ll fuck you open on that couch right then and there, for Ingo to walk in on you two.

#nw #cha.ingo #cha.emmet #cw.incest #cw.grooming

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mikrokosmos · 3 years ago

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youtube

Bruckner – Symphony no.7 in E Major (1883)

Every now and then I see a composer described as “you love em or hate em”, and the longer I listen to classical music and see how people talk about it, the more I think this attitude can be used for any artist. Especially since extreme opinions are algorithmically given the most attention, and our way of communicating our tastes is equally encouraged toward extremes and hyperbolic language. Nothing can be “just” good, or ok, or interesting, or flawed; it’s either the best, or the worst thing ever. But maybe that attitude is more for Netflix shows or the latest Hollywood movie than for classical music.

Anton Bruckner didn’t escape this mentality despite living nearly two hundred years before the digital era began. When he was alive, the divisiveness in the public discourse was due to living and working in Vienna while loving Wagner. Side note on the “War of the Romantics”; on the aesthetic side there was the disagreement between developing traditional forms (the side of Brahms, C. Schumann, & supporters) versus letting new views on harmony and subject matter dictate how to structure music (Liszt, Wagner, & supporters). But there was another significant side that isn’t always focused on; being supportive of Jews, or being anti-Semitic. Not only was Wagner a musical radical in the way he conceived of opera, musical time, and harmonic development, but he was also a vocal anti-Semite, and his general dogmatic way of insisting on his views for every other subject was just as strong when it came to his bigotry against Jews. Supporting Wagner’s side of the ‘war of the Romantics’ didn’t only mean to support the new music aesthetics; it also implied that you were part of a growing movement of anti-Semitic German nationalism.

I only bring this up because I can assume that the hostility that Bruckner faced from the ‘conservative’ side of Vienna – including the ‘villain’ of Bruckner’s life story, music critic Eduard Hanslick – is more understandable if the stakes are higher and more consequential than “the music was too long and I don’t get it”. Despite his love for Wagner, Bruckner was more akin to the Wagner fans today who enjoy the music while ignoring or outwardly dismissing the evil side of Wagner’s art. I recall a story about Bruckner (one of the many stories used to talk about his ‘simple’ personality) where he had attended Gotterdammerung, and was enthralled by the music from beginning to end but asked “why did they burn her at the end?”. The music was more compelling to him than the content of the opera’s plot.

That could explain Bruckner’s musical aesthetic; taking after Beethoven’s 9th, focus on abstract music as the source of drama, but expand the use of harmonies, drama, and volume as if it were a Wagnarian opera. Its why, to me (and other fans), Bruckner’s symphonies feel like an emotional or spiritual journey despite being abstract music with no “meaning”. It also is why I’ve avoided writing and posting about Bruckner before. Like Mahler, it’s hard to capture the music in words and articulate how I feel about what’s happening in the music, but I’ve covered all of Mahler’s symphonies because I’d loved him a lot more than I did Bruckner. Only recently has my view of Bruckner warmed from “I like him sometimes if I’m in the mood” to “I love him and can’t get enough”.

Really by accident, or fate, I decided to listen to this symphony again two weeks ago, and Bruckner finally ‘clicked’ with me. I’d first heard him by picking up a few cds from my library, and putting him on in the background while I played old video games (in this case, Age of Empires 2). I thought he was epic, but hard to sit through and unless I was in a “Lord of the Rings” mood, I didn’t want to listen. A few weeks ago, Richard Atkinson came out with a video on Bruckner 6, which made me want to listen to him again. I decided to listen to the 7th again, and I finally connected with Bruckner’s soundworld.

One more note before going into the 7th; another reason Bruckner’s music was criticized in his life; it was for a relatively conservative orchestra where each section is noticeable. But that was because Bruckner was not trying to blend colors in an ‘orchestral’ way, but rather how one would write for the organ, which was his main instrument. So when we hear a Bruckner symphony, we are hearing the sounds he created for church services magnified through an orchestra, a kind of recreation of ‘sacred’ music but in a secularized context where one doesn’t have to think about any specific doctrine or view of the divine, instead you experience a sublime connection that is more uniquely ‘your own’. This is one example of how music was being treated as a replacement religion in Europe after the Enlightenment.

The opening movement of the 7th to me feels like a sunrise with the slow unveiling of the main melody. which rises in an arpeggio that evokes the drone prelude to Das Rhinegold. From this comes a seemingly endless melody that gradually develops with a group of themes played through. Long songlike melodies are rare for Bruckner’s opening movements – usually he uses motivic patterns – so the multiple distinct melodies in this work helped to give it the unofficial nickname “Lyric”. As the music builds tension we see another example of why some ‘hate’ Bruckner: intense build ups are created, but instead of climaxing they ‘stop’ and start over. After this first bursting episode, we get a dance-melody that, to me, sounds the most like “organ music”. Bruckner picks these melodies apart into his own way of development; counterpoint and modulation. In a way, bringing Bach and Schubert together. Every Bruckner opening movement ends with a grand coda where the music reaches its most extreme height, finally bringing us the climax we’d been denied by the previous build ups. Here it is only the first part of the opening melody, the rising arpeggio, over a long pedal point, and the volume and scope of the music rises with it into a transcendental glow of sound.

The adagio is the most famous movement of the work because it also has a long passionate melody, here in the minor and with darker colors from the use of Wagner tubas. Bruckner wrote this movement knowing that Wagner was dying, and it is like a musical memorial to him. That may sour the music for a lot of people, but it could be better to think of it as music in memorial of other music, for its own sake, and not for any toxic ideologies. This movement has two main melodies; a somber melody with unexpected modulations, and a bittersweet melody that tries to be uplifting. This movement is unique for a Bruckner symphony in having a cymbal clash, which was rumored to have been added to the score the moment Bruckner had heard the news of Wagner’s death. But that story isn’t true, the actual story is that a friend told him he should use a cymbal instead of a triangle for that moment. As usual, the more interesting ideas stick around to form a kind of mythos over music that we love.

The scherzo movement, again following Beethoven’s lead, is thunderous. The main melody is based on arpeggiated open fifths falling downward, and when the full orchestra blasts it, it feels like being under a cascading wave. Again, the writing is organ-like in the colors in the sections as they contrast each other like hands and feet over the keyboards and pedals. The trio makes me think of the kinds of ‘schmaltzy’ Viennese dances that would come up in Mahler’s symphonies, just one example of how Bruckner influenced Mahler’s style.

The last movement makes me think of the symphony as being symmetrical: the first half was made of two long movements, one bright and transcendent in the major, the other darker and tragic in the minor. The second half is made of two shorter and livelier movements that have the same major/minor characters. Here, the finale is a dance that opens with the violins playing the main melody, followed by a counter melody that’s more for rhythm than humming along. These ideas play in counterpoint in the winds until dying down in the strings, introducing a softer group of melodies. Later a large wave of unison octaves play out across the full orchestra, an inversion of the opening dance melody. This movement is in arch form, where the order of melody groups plays again in reverse order (1, 2, 3, 2, 1), though melodic ideas are used repeatedly, in the Bruckner fashion of breaking up motivic blocks. As with his other mature symphonies, the movement ends with another grand coda, where the arpeggio of the opening melody to the whole symphony returns, and reveals that the main theme of the final movement is based on this melody.

Movements:

Allegro moderato

Adagio: Sehr feierlicht und sehr langsam

Scherzo: Sehr schnell - Trio: Etwas langsame

Finale: Bewegt, doch nicht schnell

#Bruckner #symphony #orchestra #classical #romantic #blog post #history #music history #classical music history #classical music #orchestra music #symphony orchestra #romantic music #romanticism #19th century music #Anton Bruckner #Bruckner symphony #Youtube #Happy Birthday

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qqueenofhades · 4 years ago

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Hi. You made a post a couple of days ago about how queer historical fiction doesnt need to be defined only by homophobia. Can you expand on that a bit maybe? Because it seems interesting and important, but I'm a little confused as to whether that is responsible to the past and showing how things have changed over time. Anyway this probably isn't very clear, but I hope its not insulting. Have a good day :)

Hiya. I assume you're referring to this post, yes? I think the main parameters of my argument were set out pretty clearly there, but sure, I'm happy to expand on it. Because I'm a little curious as to why you think that writing a queer narrative (especially a queer fictional narrative) that doesn't make much reference to or even incorporate explicit homophobia is (implicitly) not being "responsible to the past." I've certainly made several posts on this topic before, but as ever, my thoughts and research materials change over time. So, okay.

(Note: I am a professional historian with a PhD, a book contract for an academic monograph on medieval/early modern queer history, and soon-to-be-several peer-reviewed publications on medieval queer history. In other words, I'm not just talking out of my ass here.)

As I noted in that post, first of all, the growing emphasis on "accuracy" in historical fiction and historically based media is... a mixed bag. Not least because it only seems to be applied in the Game of Thrones fashion, where the only "accurate" history is that which is misogynistic, bloody, filthy, rampantly intolerant of competing beliefs, and has no room for women, people of color, sexual minorities, or anyone else who has become subject to hot-button social discourse today. (I wrote a critical post awhile ago about the Netflix show Cursed, ripping into it for even trying to pretend that a show based on the Arthurian legends was "historically accurate" and for doing so in the most simplistic and reductive way possible.) This says far more about our own ideas of the past, rather than what it was actually like, but oh boy will you get pushback if you try to question that basic premise. As other people have noted, you can mix up the archaeological/social/linguistic/cultural/material stuff all you like, but the instant you challenge the ingrained social ideas about The Bad Medieval Era, cue the screaming.

I've been a longtime ASOIAF fan, but I do genuinely deplore the effect that it (and the show, which was by far the worst offender) has had on popular culture and widespread perceptions of medieval history. When it comes to queer history specifically, we actually do not know that much, either positive or negative, about how ordinary medieval people regarded these individuals, proto-communities, and practices. Where we do have evidence that isn't just clerical moralists fulminating against sodomy (and trying to extrapolate a society-wide attitude toward homosexuality from those sources is exactly like reading extreme right-wing anti-gay preachers today and basing your conclusions about queer life in 2021 only on those), it is genuinely mixed and contradictory. See this discussion post I likewise wrote a while ago. Queerness, queer behavior, queer-behaving individuals have always existed in history, and labeling them "queer" is only an analytical conceit that represents their strangeness to us here in the 21st century, when these categories of exclusion and difference have been stringently constructed and applied, in a way that is very far from what supposedly "always" existed in the past.

Basically, we need to get rid of the idea that there was only one empirical and factual past, and that historians are "rewriting" or "changing" or "misrepresenting" it when they produce narratives that challenge hegemonic perspectives. This is why producing good historical analysis is a skill that takes genuine training (and why it's so undervalued in a late-capitalist society that would prefer you did anything but reflect on the past). As I also said in the post to which you refer, "homophobia" as a structural conceit can't exist prior to its invention as an analytical term, if we're treating queerness as some kind of modern aberration that can't be reliably talked about until "homosexual" gained currency in the late 19th century. If there's no pre-19th century "homosexuality," then ipso facto, there can be no pre-19th-century "homophobia" either. Which one is it? Spoiler alert: there are still both things, because people are people, but just as the behavior itself is complicated in the premodern past, so too is the reaction to it, and it is certainly not automatic rejection at all times.

Hence when it comes to fiction, queer authors have no responsibility (and in my case, certainly no desire) to uncritically replicate (demonstrably false!) narratives insisting that we were always miserable, oppressed, ostracised, murdered, or simply forgotten about in the premodern world. Queer characters, especially historical queer characters, do not have to constantly function as a political mouthpiece for us to claim that things are so much better today (true in some cases, not at all in the others) and that modernity "automatically" evolved to a more "enlightened" stance (definitely not true). As we have seen with the recent resurgence of fascism, authoritarianism, nationalism, and xenophobia around the world, along with the desperate battle by the right wing to re-litigate abortion, gay rights, etc., social attitudes do not form in a vacuum and do not just automatically become more progressive. They move backward, forward, and side to side, depending on the needs of the societies that produce them, and periods of instability, violence, sickness, and poverty lead to more regressive and hardline attitudes, as people act out of fear and insularity. It is a bad human habit that we have not been able to break over thousands of years, but "[social] things in the past were Bad but now have become Good" just... isn't true.

After all, nobody feels the need to constantly add subtextual disclaimers or "don't worry, I personally don't support this attitude/action" implied authorial notes in modern romances, despite the cornucopia of social problems we have today, and despite the complicated attitude of the modern world toward LGBTQ people. If an author's only reason for including "period typical homophobia" (and as we've discussed, there's no such thing before the 19th century) is that they think it should be there, that is an attitude that needs to be challenged and examined more closely. We are not obliged to only produce works that represent a downtrodden past, even if the end message is triumphal. It's the same way we got so tired of rape scenes being used to make a female character "stronger." Just because those things existed (and do exist!), doesn't mean you have to submit every single character to those humiliations in some twisted name of accuracy.

Yes, as I have always said, prejudices have existed throughout history, sometimes violently so. But that is not the whole story, and writing things that center only on the imagined or perceived oppression is not, at this point, accurate OR helpful. Once again, I note that this is specifically talking about fiction. If real-life queer people are writing about their own experiences, which are oftentimes complex, that's not a question of "representation," it's a question of factual memoir and personal history. You can't attack someone for being "problematic" when they are writing about their own lived experience, which is something a younger generation of queer people doesn't really seem to get. They also often don't realise how drastically things have changed even in my own lifetime, per the tags on my reblog about Brokeback Mountain, and especially in media/TV.

However, if you are writing fiction about queer people, especially pre-20th century queer people, and you feel like you have to make them miserable just to be "responsible to the past," I would kindly suggest that is not actually true at all, and feeds into a dangerous narrative that suggests everything "back then" was bad and now it's fine. There are more stories to tell than just suffering, queer characters do not have to exist solely as a corollary for (inaccurate) political/social commentary on the premodern past, and they can and should be depicted as living their lives relatively how they wanted to, despite the expected difficulties and roadblocks. That is just as accurate, if sometimes not more so, than "they suffered, the end," and it's something that we all need to be more willing to embrace.

#history #medieval history #queer history #meta #long post #anonymous #ask

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tothedarkdarkseas · 3 years ago

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Hmm...what's the premise of the fic idea you have notes for? I'm curious to see what concepts you come up with. Otherwise, I'm always for more discussion on Murdoc's strange worshipful relationship with Stu and Stu being himself. I also love the AU scenarios this blog inspired about vampire Stu and Renfield Murdoc, which can always be expanded on by further discussion. AUs aside, I feel that this blog is just the best place for Stu feelings, and that is a very special thing to me. (1/2)

You know, it's actually kind of funny to describe the idea in response to these particular asks (referring more to your kind second part) because it is the very opposite of them-- I felt readers were probably sufficiently burnt out on heady sexless Stuart studies, so I've just been mulling over something more Murdoc-focused. It would be an assortment of scenes over a length of time, like Ampersands in style if not necessarily subject, linked by a shared element. On the chance I do set about writing it I'll hold off saying what specifically, but I think it'd be... a little more accessible than this last one, ah, a little cruder, a little more return to form with "my Murdoc" shaping himself. I see it as taking place halfway before Gorillaz and halfway in the phase 0/1 timeframe. It's a distinctly "early years" atmosphere in my head right now, which I love, you know, I think we all have a great fondness for it on this blog. I just love when the burner goes cold in the mid-years too, and giving that adequate attention was important to me. I think I have an easier time writing the earliest era, and I worry it's a problem, that I'm stunted-- rather, I internalized a critique about that, and I suppose I'm coming to a place now where I have to decide whether to "borrow that trouble" or not. It's always better not to; the impulse for self-flagellation tells you otherwise.

I always enjoy hearing your ideas and AU scenarios. I think you know heaps more of the Renfield characterization than I do, and so I'm often waxing more metaphorical about it than following a concrete plot. It would be handy if I'd gotten something ready for you for the Halloween season, but I didn't quite manage to do so. If you've got a Halloweeny thought, vampiric or otherwise, do know that you're more than welcome to share, and I'll do my best to add more. No matter how many ways we touch on Murdoc's worshipful place at Stuart's feet, I never grow tired of it; if I hold back on making more posts, it is only because I worry over the repetition here, and how dull it might become. Thank you for saying it's special. It's been more special to me than I know how to discuss. I'll go into further wibbling and waffling about Stuart on your second message, but for now: thank you.

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kiingocreative · 4 years ago

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The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

There are some buzz words everywhere and, in the writing world, and it feels to me like ‘journaling’ is one of them. It’s something everyone seems to be doing.

It took me a while to build a journaling habit, and I wouldn’t say I’m quite there yet with my Journaling discipline, but whatever experience I’ve had with it has been incredibly beneficial.

What’s Journaling?

Back to the old trusted dictionary! Journaling is defined as:

To write in a journal or diary.

Simple, right?

For those of you with a penchant for etymology and random fun facts, the word ‘journal’ comes from the Latin ‘diurnalis’, or ‘diurnus’, meaning ‘daily’. In late Middle English, a journal originally referred to a book containing the appointed times of daily prayers. (If you use this as an ice-breaker at your next dinner party, please let me know!)

Nowadays, journaling is a lot more about keeping track of one’s praying schedule, and much more about recording one’s thoughts in an informal, free-flowing, stream-of-consciousness manner.

It’ll take different forms for different people, and the great thing about it is that (in my view) there isn’t a right or wrong way to journal. The only right way to do it is the way that feels right to you. As with any form of writing, craft or art in general, it’s all about individual preference, and highly subjective. And because Journaling is generally something that remains personal and private, you can do whatever the heck you want with it.

Pretty great, isn’t it?

Why Journaling is Good For You.

Based on my own experience, I’ve found a few benefits to journaling:

Pressure-free writing.

I’ve found that Journaling, because it follows no set rule and isn’t meant to be shared, is a great chance to write without any pressure. To write just because you want to write, with no other agenda than indulging in your love of putting words together on a page.

To me, writing without an outcome in mind is always liberating. It’s a chance to reconnect with your craft in way you might not if there was a clear purpose to it, like writing a book due to be published or a blog article meant to be posted online.

Experiment with your writing.

Journaling is also the perfect format to experiment with your writing, and try your hand at something new. Maybe you normally write fiction, and Journaling is a chance to give poetry a go. Maybe you generally blog, and your journal can start hosting plots and ideas for a novel, regardless of what you make of it later. Maybe you’ll want to try writing exercises—like jotting down ideas from a prompt or in a specific style. Or you could start recording dreams and memories you can remember.

Discomfort is where we grow, so putting yourself in those situations regularly is a great opportunity to expand your writing abilities and hone your skills. Who knows, there may be writing gold in there somewhere!

Never forget an idea.

I don’t know about you, but I often get ideas for my writing and beyond at the most inconvenient moments—in the shower, whilst cooking, doing the dishes, or picking up dog poop (I know, oh the glamour of a writer’s life!). I always think that I’ll remember these, but the truth is, most of them get forgotten, never to be retrieved again from the confines of my mind.

Journaling is a great way never to lose sight of an idea. My Journaling involves a lot of notes about random ideas I have for a plot, a story, a post, or life activities in general. They serve as inspiration for the future. Writing them down helps me rest assured that I can go back to that list and explore it later, whenever convenient.

Free your mind &notice trends.

One of the most important things I’ve notice happen when I journal, is that it helps me empty my mind fro ma lot of the never-ending thinking loops I tend to fall victim to. By putting thoughts down on paper, I’m able to see them more clearly, and my brain finally feels like it no longer needs to hold onto them. Jotting things down is a great way to break your pattern of thinking (or, if you’re like me, obsessing) and to allow yourself time to take a step back and look at the big picture.

Whether it’s something you’re stuck on in your writing, or in your life in general, journaling on it is powerful, especially if you do it regularly. Not only will you create more space in your mind for better and brighter things—say, your next brilliant writing idea!—but it’ll also give you a chance to notice trends and recurring themes. And that’s a great way to build awareness about your own patterns of behaviour, and start eradicating your most negative or toxic thinking habits.

Keep a record.

Performance coach Tony Robbins (yes, him again! What can I say, I’m a huge fan) says that ‘if your life is worth living it’s worth recording’. I couldn’t agree more. Journaling gives you a chance to be your own life historian. To keep track of where you’ve been and how far you’ve gone. To look back on those day-to-day accomplishments that may look minute at the time but all add up to something big and wonderful in the end.

Looking at your own existence and experience as something that’s worth keeping a record of also sends your subconscious mind a clear message: that’s you’re worthy. You’re enough. Every moment of your life has an impact, the good and the bad, and helps mould who you become.

I’d say there are few more powerful truths to embrace in your lifetime!

Getting Started with Journaling.

That’s all well and good, you might say, but where do I start?

Fear not, my friend, here are some suggestions to get you started.

1. Set a schedule — If you don’t make time for it, chances are it won’t happen, because life has a habit of getting in the way. Identify a time that works best for you—whether that’s morning, midday, evening etc.—and schedule it in your calendar, setting a reminder so you don’t forget about it. If finding time daily feels daunting or unrealistic, why not start with once a week, or a couple of times a week?

2. Make it a habit — Stick to it! Whether it comes naturally or not, be disciplined about it. Embrace whatever comes, both the joys and the discomfort of it. Set yourself a goal—every day for a week, every other day for a month etc.—and sit with it for the entire duration you committed to.

3. Set a timer — Journaling doesn’t have to take a lot of time. I tend to journal for about ten minutes at a time on average, sometimes less and sometimes more. If you’re unsure what duration to start with, set a timer for ten minutes and see what comes up.

4. Let it flow — As I mentioned above, Journaling may or may not feel natural at first. It may feel great or it may feel uncomfortable. Whatever comes up for you, let it flow. Why not journal about the sensations and feelings the experience of journaling brings up? It may end up being one thing one day and something altogether different the next. Whatever it is for you at any given time is what’s right. Be open-minded, remember this is unique and personal, and no one—not even you—should ever judge it.

The Power of Rituals.

If you’re still unsure about the value of journaling, or about getting started with it, let me say this one final thing: the most important piece of the puzzle, as with anything else you do, is defining your ‘why’—i.e. the reasons behind your decision to start (or continue) journaling. Ask yourself:

Why do you want to start journaling?

Why is it important to you?

How do you think it’ll make you feel? How do you want it to make you feel?

What difference do you think it’ll make to you, to your life, to your writing?

Clearly defining your ‘why’ and your intentions will help you maintain the habit. More importantly, understanding the value this holds to you will take journaling from a mere habit—which can feel like a chore—to a ritual of self-care. That’s the difference between doing it because you think it’s cool, or because everyone is doing it, or because you think you should do it, and doing it because you know for a fact, in your core, that this will make you and your writing better and stronger.

This will go a long way in making it more enjoyable. It’ll help you build rituals around it that are nurturing and caring. Get yourself to acknowledge why it’s good for you and why it’s pleasurable, and then set up the environment to make your journaling time feel like an absolute treat. Maybe that’s setting the scene in the room where you journal with a candle or some background music. Maybe that’s selecting a nice notebook if you’re doing this by hand, or picking your favourite writing spot, at home or beyond.

Eventually, these will all act as triggers to get you into the right journaling mindset whenever you’re sitting down for it.

And if you’re not quite sure what that all looks like for you… Well. Isn’t that a great topic to start journaling about?

#writingtips #screenwriting #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #writerblr #writing advice #writing community #writing resources

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hoshiko2000 · 5 years ago

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While it would have been nice to have the chance to see it firsthand (and in a bit more detail), I’m really pleased that Fruits Basket Another took the time to explore Akito’s post-curse character development beyond the whole ‘she grew out her hair and started wearing pretty dresses and magically became happy’ ending we got in the original Furuba.

Not at all to imply I have a problem with Fruits Basket’s ending. Believe me, I really don’t and Fruits Baskets ending remains one of the most enduringly satisfying of any manga I’ve followed to date. Endeavouring as an author to wrap up every single character’s happy ending in a single time-skip chapter is always a challenge, and Takaya sensei did what she could with limited pages to split between each character (and god knows there were certainly enough of them). But I know I speak for quite a few fans when I say that when that final chapter was published 14 years ago (I was 12 then, god I feel old), it was hard not feel a little frustrated that Akito’s character development was left so lacking, especially after everything she herself had been through and all the cruelties she had subjected other people to as well.

So I’m incredibly happy that Fruits Basket Another has provided a bittersweet but for the most part happy ending for Akito that not only actually feels much more realistic, but also serves as an masterclass on how to handle a character redemption arc for a previously abusive and toxic character really damn well.

Akito was a grossly abused and neglected child who grew in to a violent and controlling adult. Akito the victim can not be separated from Akito the abuser, but at the same time her own victimisation, trauma and poor mental health can not be used to take away her culpability for her own actions.

In addition to the psychologically abusive behaviours she picked up from her own mother, she frequently used - often extreme - violence as a means of control, and left both mental and physical scars on her victims as a result. Scars that have remained long after Akito herself had come to terms, however bitterly, with her horrendous childhood and all the harm she had inflicted on other people, and quietly and privately moved on with her life; reclaiming her role as head of the family in a positive direction, settling down, marrying and eventually - through accident or otherwise - giving birth to a child of her own and becoming a parent. Something which, previously, had been completely unimaginable.

But while Akito herself may have changed - and honestly, its been beautiful to see such a previously tormented, violent person grow in to such a gentle, loving parent - we can only speculate that her the damage she has done to the other former Sohma children is still very much felt. In fact, we know that the damage is very much felt; we see in the latest chapters Shiki receiving notes telling him his mother is ‘human trash’ along with other threatening messages. There are still people within the family with enough anger towards Akito to target not only her but her young son. And while harassing a child over the past actions of their parent is obviously deeply, deeply wrong, the level of anger still directed towards Akito is understandable. And Akito herself accepts this.

And as a result, a massive part of Akito’s character redemption arc involves her not, as so often happens in fiction, attempting to reconnect with her former victims to seek their forgiveness and ‘repair’ the relationships she, herself, destroyed. In fact, in what I think is a first I’ve seen for this kind of storyline, she does the total opposite.

She distances herself from them entirely.

Not because she doesn’t want to rebuild relationships or be forgiven,

But because she understands that recovery for her victims depends on her no longer being part of their lives.

And in a medium where I have seen far too many abuse-related storylines resolved by the victim ultimately forgiving their abuser for what they have previously done (or even continue to do) to them, this choice of narrative direction is, I feel, a powerful and important one.

It’s sad to picture Akito remaining - as she always has been - largely isolated and alone within her own family, but she’s made the healthiest decision possible for her victims and I think that’s the point these latest chapters have placed emphasis on. She’s moved on with her life, grown as a person, begun her own family, and while it feels almost heart-breakingly bittersweet, for the most part I’m happy for her. I’m glad we got this little snap-shot of her future, and I’m so grateful that her character development, after all these years, got a chance to be expanded a little further.

#fruits basket another #fruits basket spoilers #fruits basket #furuba #furuba spoilers #akito sohma #shiki sohma

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beauty-and-passion · 5 years ago

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“If you really want to challenge your viewership, then you need to stop limiting me”

WARNING: In this post I will talk about Remus, so there will be swear words, mention of sex, blood and all sort of things. I don’t think humans should run away from those arguments because they’re all part of our nature, but if you don’t want to read about them, I respect your opinion and I’m warning you here.

Oh, Remus. Such wonderful chaos, such amazing character. There’s a lot to unpack from a single video, so let’s start. I will try to follow some order, but if I fail, I blame the trash boy.

PS. I won’t take his playlist into consideration, because it will have its own post. This is just what I found out from his first appearance.

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Why "the spectrum A to Z" is absolutely necessary for Thomas (and for every artist in general)

When I listened to The Forbidden Fruit for the first time and Remus explained who he was and what his role was, I remember I grinned like an idiot.

Oh, I thought, so that’s where we’re going.

If you want the spectrum A to Z, then you'll need a little help from me~!

The full spectrum means full creativity. It means do not restrict yourself with “what the censorship allows” or “what is acceptable for the general public” or “what religion/society/whatever may think about it”.

In my opinion, every good artist, no matter what artistic field they are pursuing, should have the freedom to choose from the full spectrum of creative possibilities. And yes, that means having also the freedom to choose (if necessary) the three “forbidden” aspects of human nature: sex, blood and death.

Usually, we banish those things because they remind us of our mortality. Humans are strong: we’re the strongest species of this planet and the more we evolve, the more we prefer to forget that our bodies are made of flesh and blood and that we have sexual urges like any other creature.

But that’s still part of what we are. And having the freedom to choose among these things means expanding your creative horizons.

It’s like living on an island. You have a lot of stuff to use and it’s all cool and fun, until you reach the beach. Then you realize your stuff is limited. You can reach a certain point with what you have/know.

But then, you find a small path that leads to another place: an entire continent of dangerous, forbidden stuff. Would you want to go and explore the continent or get stuck inside your island, by doing the same things over and over again?

Every artist should explore. You cannot be a good artist, if you never try other things, other styles, other ideas. That doesn’t mean you have to write/draw about sex and death all the time, because you have to expand your horizons: but you can try doing it, learn from this experience and then decide what to do. If you’re good, you enjoyed it and you want to try again, you can do it. Otherwise, you can come back into something you prefer - but you will do it with a new approach. You have learned something. You’re not stuck with letters from A to L anymore: you have the whole alphabet available, now.

A personal example to make everything easier: I've always written a lot since I was a child, from short stories to wannabe-novels. And by doing it, I always tried more genres: I tried noir (and failed), I tried romance (and failed), I tried a sprinkle of psychology in and it came out acceptable.

Then, three years ago, I had to write a sex scene. I've read some sex scenes here and there in a couple novels and I've also read a lot of nsfw fictions in almost 15 years into different fandoms. So at very least I had a lot of information about all kinds of sexual intercourses, from vanilla to bdsm: but I’ve never tried to write something similar myself.

I wanted to challenge myself, so I tried. It took me weeks to build a good scene, to show and not tell, to not fall into stereotypes and clichés, but I did it. Maybe it’s not perfect, but I still think it's acceptable (and that's a lot, considering I'm never 100% satisfied with what I write).

What have I learned from that? That it takes a lot of time, but I can write about sex, without falling into stereotypes. That writing sex is extremely complicated, because some positions/actions are always the same (I mean, the penis has to go somewhere and the places are more or less the same). On the other hand, writing about kisses and foreplay gives me more "creative freedom": so if I will have to write about sex again, I’ll definitely be more at ease with a description of foreplay/fluff/pre-nsfw, rather than describing a full sex scene.

This experience taught me something new about my style and my potential. Now I have more experience, more knowledge and a bigger understanding of my linguistic abilities, compared to before.

Back to Thomas: he's an artist. And as every good artist, he cannot force himself into the same cycle of playing safe. He has to try something new, in order to become better.

Remus is the new, Remus is the unexplored. Remus is everything Thomas never tried: he's the full spectrum, waiting for him.

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Stop limiting your creativity and why Remus is right

“If you really want to challenge your viewership, then you need to stop limiting me!”

When I listened to this line, my first, natural reaction was: "Well... he's right". Because he is.

Thomas has always played safe in his videos ("For someone who prefers salty flavors, your videos are rather saccharine."). But he can't always be like that. He's growing up, as a person and as an artist. So he has to try something new. And trying something new, also means challenging your public.

I've been in this fandom since "Can Lying Be Good", but I became active just now. Why now? Because now Thomas is raising the stakes. Because now Thomas is giving us more mature ideas. Because he's challenging his viewership.

And that's also why other this part is EXTREMELY important:

[Thomas]: But I don't wanna add to life's unpleasantness.

[Duke]: Oh, so you're going to baby them? Do you wanna rock the cradle, Daddy? (...) OR, do you want to be the wind that causes the cradle to fall?

What Remus is saying is absolutely right. Metaphors aside, what he's saying is basically this: do you want to challenge your public with more mature ideas and bigger themes, or do you want to lull them into the same, safer themes? Do you want to "rock the cradle" and keep treating them like infants, or do you want to "be the wind" and bring change, a different vision of things, treat them like adults, challenge them with bigger, more complicated questions?

Again, Thomas is evolving, he's growing up. He already made some episodes about this (Way Too Adult, Growing Up, Leaning New Things About Ourselves). It's understandable that part of him wants to challenge himself and his public with something new and different.

But this isn't just a challenge from character!Thomas: this is also a declaration of intent from the real Thomas, the one behind the camera. Until now, he proposed "safer" kind of lessons: it's not necessary to be an adult at all costs, pursuing your dreams is good too, mind and heart can cooperate, anxiety can be accepted, you can move on after a break up even if it’ll be hard.

Now it will be different. Now he will propose bigger problems to us. Now he will hit harder.

It's not a case that Thomas said he was kinda afraid while doing this video and Joan made a lot of research about intrusive thoughts. They both knew this isn't a simple topic. But they did it anyway. They challenged us.

And if we think that the topics in the following episode were, among others, martyrdom, dying for your friends and the trolley problem... They're really raising the stakes a lot.

And I love it.

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“That's life.”

[Thomas]: I wouldn't WANT my legacy to be subjecting people to something they didn't wanna see!

[Duke]: Why not? That's life! People seeing, hearing, and experiencing things they'd raaather not see, hear, or experience.

Thomas' view of creativity as "not subjecting people to something they don’t wanna see" is... kinda adorable, yes, but completely wrong for an artist.

Again, I will use writing as example because it’s part of my experience, but this applies to all other art forms.

If you’re writing about a boy who lives in a shitty house, you can’t write: “His house was old and dirty”, because you don’t want to upset your public. Or you can do it, but it’s not good writing. You want a dirty house? Well, you will have to show how dirty this place is: rats running in the living room, a sink full of dishes, tored wallpaper and broken windows.

A good writer cannot be afraid of talking about something. If their story is about war, the writer will get their hands dirty and show this war: hungry soldiers, trembling fingers, holes full of piss, smell of gun powder, tears. If there is a wound, a good writer will show you blood and pain. If there is something filthy, a good writer will show you how filthy the thing is.

As I said, this doesn’t apply to writers only. Being closer, being specific, showing and not telling, sometimes means bringing up things people don’t wanna see, hear or experience.

But those are the same things that make your creativity run wilder and your works to be remembered. No one will remember “The house was dirty”. But I’m pretty sure you will remember rats running on the couch. The sentence is safer, sure, but the image is real. It’s not pleasant, it’s stinky and you won’t like it. But you will remember it.

That’s why Remus has a point. Because that’s what art does: making people feel something. Sometimes it’s pleasant, sometimes it’s unpleasant. But it’s stil part of the creative process and no good artist can avoid this.

Art isn’t good or bad. Art is feeling something.

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Side note: the cathartic effect of seeing awful things

Do you have any familiarity with the concept of catharsis? I will try to explain it in the easiest way possible.

Imagine you’re an ancient Greek and you’re going to the theatre to see a tragedy. Let’s pick “Oedipus Rex” for our funny evening.

The plot is very simple: the guy has been abandoned by his parents, because his father heard a prophecy about how his son would have killed him. So Oedipus grows up, then he leaves his adopted parents, kills a vagabond and marries a queen, who recently became widow. Stuff happens and, big surprise! The vagabond he killed years ago was his father and the widow he married was his mother. So his mother kills herself, while Oedipus blinds himself and goes away, because their union made a lot of bad stuff happen in their reign. You see, not tragic at all.

Okay, so you’re going to see this tragedy. You will see murders, blood, incest, a lot of bad stuff, a suicide, a man who blinds himself. That’s not nice stuff at all. That’s not “butterflies and magic”, nor “Netflix kids and family”.

But when you’ll see this, you will experience a purification of your soul. You will see those terrible things happen in front of you, you will see their consequences and looking at them will “pacify” your spirit. When you will go out of the theater, you won’t repeat those terrible actions in your life.

That’s what catharsis is. A purification of your soul, a purging from all the emotions that may fill your mind and lead you to terrible actions. Catharsis is incredibly important, because we all need an outlet, a safer way to dispel those heavy emotions. Sometimes it’s metal music, sometimes violent videogames, sometimes tragedies... and sometimes videos in which those thoughts can be expressed just by letting them talk for a while, instead of repressing them.

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A Side that cares (in his own way)

[Duke]: For someone who prefers salty flavors, your videos are rather saccharine. What will your legacy be? Will you even have one? How 'bout this: you get butt-naked on camera and self-immolate to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off"? Now, that'll leave an impression.

It’s... kinda cute, in its own way, how Remus cares about Thomas. He’s one of Thomas’ sides, after all, and since they all care about Thomas and want the best for him, of course he should want the same.

And what does he wants for Thomas? To leave an impression. To be remembered. To have a legacy. It’s basically the same thing Roman wants, but way more incisively. Remus doesn’t want Thomas videos to be just good: they have to capture his public’s attention - even by being terrible and unpleasant, why not? That’s part of life, after all. And Thomas shouldn’t care about other people's judgment: he should be free to do whatever he wants.

Again, it’s kinda cute to have such a wild Creativity, that all that wants for you is to be completely free of prejudices, judgements and rules, so you will be able to pursue whatever idea you want, no matter how stinky and awful it may be.

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Remus does whatever the fuck Remus wants

You know, I would love to have this kind of Creativity: he doesn’t give a fuck about anything. You hate me? Fine, who cares. It kinda connects with what I said before, about how a good writer shouldn’t be scared to upset his public.

Remus is terrible, stinky and wild. And he doesn’t care if people around him are upset, because being free and unleashed is his nature. Even when the other Sides insult him, he just shrugs their words off and uses them as fuel to create more terrible ideas:

[Logan]: I'd say you just reek. FIGURATIVELY.

[Virgil]: Also, literally, though.

[Patton]: Ohhh, what do you have to say to that, Duke?

[Duke]: E-Thank you? Reek is what I was going for.

[Patton]: Well-

[Duke]: I mean, my deodorant's flavor is Pickled Poo Logs.

And also:

[Logan]: The real problem here isn't the disgusting drivel coming from the Duke.

[Duke]: Ooh~! Thank you for the alliterative regards, Logan! I LOVE being given two D's at once!

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Brutal honesty all the way

If Deceit was sharp and Virgil quite blunt in his critiques, Remus is honesty to the extreme. He tells whatever the fuck he wants, without a single care in the world. And his critiques are not dulled at all.

He starts during Forbidden Fruit:

[Duke]: ♪ It's unicorn horns and dragon tails, Roman's dull creativity~

And keeps going all the way throughout the video:

Not only insulting Thomas, but also Roman’s work, all in one sentence: that’s some mastery level we got here.

But, you know... I appreciate this part of him. As someone who constantly critiques my own writing style and ideas, having a part of your creativity that is ready to find all the wrong things in your works is very good. If you’re the first one who notices your own errors, you will be able to solve them, improve your work and show something better to your public.

Speaking of critiques... do you remember 12 Days of Christmas?

[Patton]: Guys, we're being a little mean here, okay? Let's not stifle Roman's creative whimsy.

[Thomas]: Oh... uh... true. How about we go for more positive constructive criticism?

[Virgil]: Okay... it wasn't.... good?

[Roman]: I don't like you.

[Thomas]: That's not positive... or constructive.

[Logan]: Fine. Uh... Roman... I'm sure that you could think... of an even more... appropriate line, for Virgil.

Unlike Remus, Roman gets offended very easily. Even a “It wasn’t good” is enough to upset him (and Virgil was trying to be nice). And it kinda makes sense, for him: he’s not just Thomas’ Creativity, but also his Pride and Ego. Both those aspects of the self are very sensitive to compliments and critiques.

That makes me think: if Roman isn’t just Creativity, but also Thomas’ pride, passion and ego... what are Remus’ other roles?

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"MANY of the Duke's contributions", not all of them

[Logan]: Well, I'd imagine that you will now recognize many of the Duke's contributions AS intrusive thoughts. Which is actually really important.

So if "MANY of the Duke’s contribution" are intrusive thoughts, that means there are OTHER contributions that aren’t intrusive thoughts, that may even be... useful, in their own way?

It would make sense. No Side has just one role, so it would be strange that there is a Side whose only role is being Thomas' intrusive thoughts.

Let’s think about it: what other roles Remus may have? He introduced himself as Thomas' Creativity, so his mail role is probably Thomas' deep abyss of creative ideas. He's a dark pit of unleashed, chaotic fantasies. And some of them emerges via intrusive thoughts.

But Remus is also linked to the most raw, visceral aspect of human nature: so he’s probably also the embodiement of Thomas’ sexual fantasies and urges.

And, considering how honest he is, maybe he can also represent Thomas’ honesty. Or at least that internal voice that makes you think: "Urgh, this present sucks!", while on the outside you fake a smile and say: "Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted!" (we all have done it once, don’t lie)

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"I am trying to teach you a lesson" part 2

[Duke]: Do I need to remind you of what Thomas was thinking about last night?

[Everyone screams]

[Duke]: I just did what I do as one of Thomas's sides. If I am awful, *blows kiss* then so is Thomas.

Remus' words relates to what Deceit was trying to explain in SvS: Thomas is not an innocent little lamb. He can have these thoughts. And they're not wrong - just as Remus isn't.

_______________________________________

Hi, this is me reading too much into three sentences

[Virgil]: Why are you defending him?

[Logan]: I'm... not. I'm just trying to be intellectually honest with Thomas.

[Duke]: Ehh, sounds like bulls**t, this dork's Deceit in disguise!

When I watched this scene again, something clicked in my mind. Maybe it’s just because I’m crazy, but it clicked.

Bear with me: Virgil asks Logan why he’s defending Remus. Logan says he’s not... and Remus’ reaction is bringing up Deceit’s name.

He had no reason to bring up Deceit’s name. He could’ve had any other reaction - even something stupid or sexual. Instead, he brought up Deceit’s name.

Sooooo... by bringing out his name as reaction to the sentence “You’re defending him”... is he subtly telling us that this is something Deceit does? That Deceit defends him?

What was Logan saying, when Virgil asked him “Why are you defending him”?

[Logan]: Thomas, like it or not, the Duke does encompass a portion of your imagination.

Okay. So, if I’m right, we can deduce that Deceit defends Remus’ existence as part of Thomas’ imagination. I mean, the words are here, the conversation was written like this for a reason. Remus brough up Deceit’s name/presence just three times, during the whole video:

During his song, to explain why he finally appeared,

When Logan talked about “doing something, and hiding that they're doing it”, that is basically Deceit’s work,

This damn time.

I don’t think this was a coincidence. It was a hint. Not only these two know each other, but Deceit defends Remus’ existence as part of Thomas’ Creativity. And it makes sense that the self-preservation wants this abyss of sexual urges and disgusting things to exist: every human being needs this and, as we learned during intrusive thoughts, his existence is part of a normal human being.

_______________________________________

Remus is a cutie who just wants to have fun

[Virgil]: You know what's funny? You used to really unsettle me. I thought that you were some… terrible illness. Now I can see that you're just... a common cold. A mild inconvenience that's... gone before you know it.

[Remus]: *laughs* You tickle me, Emo! Well, I enjoyed this! Good seeing you again, Virgil! Ah, it was just like old times!

First of all: let's take a moment to appreciate Remus' soft laugh, because it melts my heart every darn time. This hell abomination laughs like a soft chicken, when Virgil finally recognizes him as just "a mild inconvenience" and he's not afraid of him anymore. He treats Virgil like a cute, little brother, by saying him the nicest, cutest thing he ever said during the whole video (“You tickle me, Emo!”).

Second: "I enjoyed this". Logan spent 40 minutes to figuratively dress him down, antagonized him all the time, deprived him of his aura of big, scary guy... and Remus doesn't have any hard feelings towards him at all. On the contrary, he actually enjoyed introducing himself to Thomas, spending time with the other Sides, being silly and throwing his chaotic suggestions. And even if Logan opposed him, he still had a fun time.

Speaking of that, actually Logan did him a favour. By showing how not-scary Remus is, he indirectly gave Remus a free pass to talk with Thomas. Now Remus can appear whenever he wants, he's not forced in the back anymore - as we saw in the following Sanders Asides, in which he just pops up whenever he wants, tells something and goes away.

_____________________________________________

Side note: Apollonian and Dionysian

Yep, it’s time to talk about Fancy Mario and Evil Luigi, aka the Creativitwins.

I’ve read some days ago the post of @ofselene, who mentioned apollonian and dionysian and OH MY GOSH, just by reading the two terms my mind clicked!

Again, I will try to keep it easy: those two terms comes from Nietzsche’s “The Birth of Tragedy" and are used to designated two fundamental aspects of the greek culture.

Dionysian: this term is based on Dionysus, god of wine, revelry, orgiastic power and ecstatic emotions. As the name suggests, this is a destructive impulse, mainly expressed through music, because music appeals to the human’s most instinctive, chaotic emotions rather than the logical mind.

Apollonian: this term is based on Apollo, god of light, reason, harmony and balance. Apollonian is more analytic impulse, calm and ordered, mainly expressed through figurative arts, like sculpture.

Taken by themselves, those two aspects are dangerous: too much dionysian is able to completely overcome apollonian and makes people drown into life’s chaos. On the other hand, too much apollonian leads people to isolate in an illusory world, too detached from reality.

According to Nietzsche, there was only a moment in which they reached equilibrium and it was during the greek tragedy. In fact, the incredible vitality of the ancient greek tragedy comes from the equilibrium of apollonian and dionysian. The chaotic, sensual passion managed to coexist with the harmonious, ordered impulse and their union generated the art form of the Attic tragedy, the most important kind of greek tragedy.

... I think you know where I’m going with this.

_____________________________________________

Unleashed Creativity and Controlled Creativity

When Thomas granted Roman full creative control during “Am I Original”, Roman struggled to find an original idea and, at the end, he accomplished nothing. In a 40 minutes video during which no one wanted to listen to him, Remus came up with all sort of ideas - wrong, weird, disgusting, but original.

This is why these two need to cooperate. Remus is pure, unleashed creativity. He doesn’t have a direction, he just erupts ideas like a volcano. He has a better grasp than Roman about the general direction Thomas should go, but his unfiltered ideas are too much and not enough at the same time.

Remus is like a mine: there can be gold inside, but there can also be poop. He’s too unleashed, too wild, too impatient to dig and find the good stuff.

Someone else has to do it. Someone who knows what creativity is and what to search for. Someone with a good insight of Thomas’ desires and passions, who knows what Thomas may like and not like. Someone who does his job every day, despite being chastised all the time. A much more controlled Creativity, patient enough to dig into this mine and expert enough to recognize if there is something worthy.

Because, while digging in, he can take out another rock, another stupid idea. Or some poop.

But maybe, among the dirt and the useless stuff, there’s a rough diamond. Something that needs to be polished, cut, studied, taken into consideration. And Roman is the only Side who can do this. Roman is the only one who can recognize the good idea into his brother’s constant stream of thoughts. Not only this cooperation may unleash an incredible potential that will benefit Thomas, but it could save Roman himself.

Roman will fall, he’s already falling. He can’t bear the pressure to be the hero anymore. He will need a new role.

And being an adventurer and a digger may be the right thing for him. He will be able to mature, improve, specialize. He will be finally free from the constrictions his role gave him. There’s no need to be brave and perfect all the time, when your role is getting your hands dirty while searching for treasures. No need to divide between heroes and villains, when you’re not forced to be a hero anymore.

And... you know, maybe searching the diamond in the rough may also help him fulfill his role as passion and ego. Because what better thing for your ego, than finally finding the diamond hidden deep down into the mine of your terrible ideas?

_______________________________

PS. If someone wants to be added to the taglists, just ask and I’ll add you :)

TAGLIST:

@willpowerwisps @royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl @shelby-711 @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @sweetkirbi @whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @atlasistryingherbest @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @miasheer @forever-third-wheeling @mishanthropist @corndot @payte

@riseofthewerewolf @frog-candy-bee @bosspotato01 @rosesandlove44 @methaley @sololad @firey-alex @sashootkahoot @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan @croftergamer @misty-the-girlflux-mess @thedevilseyes @arya-skywalker @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@virgildarknessdementiaravenway @mishanthropist @dracayd-universe @unknown-artworks @lonelyfangirl453 @starlightnyx @alienvamp-hesitantflowerface @stubbornness-and-spite @alittletoo-extra @averykedavra @iloveeverytjing123 @bookedforevermore @joyrose-fandomer @anachronismes @the-cloud-14

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella @boopypasta @nevenastark @varthandi @floofyconfusednerd @nothing-worth-mentioning @mikalya12 @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @orchidstanslogan @snixxxsmythe @frog-candy-bee

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modern-inheritance · 4 years ago

Note

I don’t really know where I’m going with this but do you have any Oromis/Morzan headcanons? Before or during the fall, or Oromis’ feelings towards Morzan afterwards?

I have a few! More than a few apparently, I'm just finishing this up and uh...yeah that got longer than I thought!

I’m going to do my best to leave Glaedr and Morzan’s dragon out of these because while they’re large parts of each other's lives and even maybe personalities considering how deeply bonded Riders and their dragons can be, I want to be sure I’m keeping the characters separate. Kinda like how you shouldn’t constantly group identical twins together as a single entity, ya know?

Alright let's start off with Morzan. Time for some backstory!

Modern Inheritance!Morzan

Morzan was born into a family of low level nobles. By the time Morzan was about six or seven though, the family had fallen out of favor and was struggling to keep up appearances, spending money they didn’t necessarily have on lavish items and acting increasingly narcissistic in a desperate attempt to hold onto the standing and power they once had.

Morzan probably started showing antisocial behavior around this time, mainly impulsive petty theft, inserting himself in dangerous situations, and manipulation through charm with adults and intimidation and violence with other children. Due to his family’s last shreds of political strength and their long time in the area, most of these incidents were swept under the rug or outright ignored by his family. This generally left a very angry, disgusted-with-others, burgeoning narcissistic young Morzan to his own devices.

When Morzan was chosen by his dragon, his parents were quietly glad that he wouldn’t be their responsibility anymore. They didn’t disclose any of his troubling behaviors and Morzan was quick to understand that he would need to tamp the more obvious ones down and manipulate others into hiding his transgressions.

Despite all this, Morzan and his dragon do deeply care for each other. Due to Morzan’s mind linking with the hatchling, there was a sort of evening out of his behaviors as some were ‘shared’ do the hatchling and some of the hatchling’s personality was ‘shared’ with Morzan. This is what helped Morzan fly under the radar for so much longer until his eventual betrayal.

On a lighter note, Morzan shot up like a weed when he hit puberty, once growing nearly five inches (~12.7 cm) over the span of a year. It took a year or so for his muscles to visibly bulk up, so he was this tall gangly teenager for a while. His clothes constantly needed altering.

Initially Morzan doesn’t really know what to think of Oromis and Glaedr. His family was always distracted from giving him the attention and nurturing he needed, and suddenly he has not only this baby dragon who he can share his frustrations and emotions with but also parental figures.

Eventually he warmed up to them, but more in the sense that he became attached to their attention and the praise he got when he did well in magic and other lessons. He didn’t showboat as much, but would push himself to get more compliments, praise and attention from Oromis. Oromis saw this more as Morzan taking his training seriously. There were a few instances of Morzan and his dragon being pointed out as instigators of some scuffles or small acts of possible, unproven acts of sabotage harming or tripping up other Riders-in-training, but these were generally believed to be accidents or bad luck.

Morzan’s bullying and belittling of Brom was the result of Morzan feeling like his unfettered access to Oromis and Glaedr’s attention was being threatened. He knew he couldn’t get away with physically injuring Brom and Saphira I, so his physical actions never really went past ‘accidental’ full force hits in sparring and roughhousing. If Brom got praise or compliments from Oromis, Morzan would seethe quietly, eventually exploding in rage at some later point after it built up. Again, Oromis merely thought this was just adolescent growing pains.

Wooo! That is getting LONG, eh? I’ve got more, but for now I’m going to move on to Oromis and his feelings around Morzan’s betrayal and link you to whatever extra stuff I add later. I’m really unsure about the timeline of when Morzan betrayed the Riders and when it was known that he had, so I’m mostly going to skip that chunk. Let's go!

Modern Inheritance!Oromis

Even without 100% knowing/being sure of Morzan’s betrayal, I think there was a whirlwind of confusion and general chaos when Galbatorix murdered Shurikan’s original Rider. Who was a child. A Rider had murdered a child Rider and while everyone knew Galbatorix was unstable I don’t think anyone would have expected that. Oromis was swept up in all this and didn’t have time to really ask where Morzan was. I mean, Morzan was a grown man at that point and well beyond Oromis’s control.

Morzan’s involvement was probably confirmed without a doubt at the initial attack on Ilirea, and Oromis and Glaedr didn’t have time to process this until after their brief capture.

Oromis felt some really strong guilt. That’s putting it bluntly. Let’s expand it, shall we?

First off, I think Oromis felt some guilt over not being able to help in the sort of final big battle at Ilirea. He was previously quite powerful since he was on the council that refused Galbatorix a new dragon (that’s a whole other topic to look at later on btw), and despite his age and wisdom I think it’s safe to assume that any sudden event causing massive life changes can be pretty shocking. Oromis felt powerless and after the deaths that occured in Galbatorix’s initial attack with the Forsworn on the Riders, I think he knew that there would be more. And all he and Glaedr could do was hide in Ellesméra and tend to their wounds and new maladies.

As they healed I’m pretty sure Oromis spent a lot of time thinking ‘how could I have stopped this?’ Hindsight is...well, whatever-elves-have/20, and Oromis would have put all the signs together that were telling him that there was something off about Morzan from the start. He probably thought subconsciously that he was fixing Morzan and didn’t want to acknowledge just how dangerous that little 10 year old boy and scrawny hatchling he had met all those years ago had become as he grew. There was also a lot of guilt post-Ilirea’s final fall around not protecting Brom from Morzan enough, and feeling like a lot of Brom’s pain was Oromis’s own fault because of this.

Oh man, Oromis also has heaps of survivors guilt about the Riders that, while he does work through it and focuses on extending his life to train the next Rider, never really fades completely. He understands that he could not fight in his condition, but there’s always the nagging ‘what if’ questions that can rear up unexpectedly.

Once he learns of Murtagh and Thorn and their forced fealty to Galbatorix, I think Oromis’s guilt probably pushed him over to definitely join the fight at Gil’ead. It’s likely that he feels that if he had separated Brom and Morzan, had taken the signs of Morzan’s growing antisocial disorder seriously and gotten him proper help, and hadn’t been so blind during the Golden Age, then in some strange way he may have prevented everything from happening. Morzan wouldn’t have let Galbatorix into Ilirea, Shruikan wouldn’t have been stolen, the Forsworn wouldn’t have been influenced by Galbatorix and Morzan (who used his manipulative charm to sway some), and it all comes to, in the end, Murtagh and Thorn, both relatively innocent in this and dragged in only due to parentage and some situations which they have no control over, would have never been forced through torture and cruelty to join Galbatorix and fight people they once saw as friends and family.

Overall I think Oromis, while having processed/processing and come to terms with the Riders Fall and the hand he inadvertently had in it due to his connection to and, in some ways, his failures surrounding Morzan, he still carries this deep feeling of guilt. He doesn’t let it simply sit there though, as he pushes himself to be able to train the next generation, but it’s always there.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH okay that’s what I’ve got for now. Holy shit that’s a lot of bulletpoints, huh?

I spent some time researching antisocial behavior and Antisocial Personality Disorder, but per usual I want to state that I am by no means an expert, and the behaviors and traits portrayed here are not the only results, symptoms, or scenarios that can occur when someone has antisocial behavior or ASPD. Mental health is a difficult subject to write about, especially when I have no personal or second hand experience with the specifics, and I’m always open to educating myself on these topics. I am doing my best to learn so that I don’t stereotype or offend. If there are comments/concerns/critique please please don’t ever feel bad about messaging me privately, via the comments, via reblog, or through the ask box point out what I got wrong or if you simply want to share your experiences or concerns.

I’ll probably have more Morzan specific backstory and ideas later on, but for now I need to make some dinner and get to work on the other ask. Cheers!

Thank you again to @siriusly-misunderstood-creatures for the ask! I always appreciate asks and comments, they make my brain work!!

#modern inheritance #modern inheritance cycle #inheritance cycle #the cyclists #eragon #brom #morzan #oromis #modern inheritance ask #modern inheritance asks #modern inheritance lore #glaedr #morzan's dragon

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minnesotadruids · 5 years ago

Text

Druidry and Politics

In the time leading up to the United States 2020 presidential election, elsewhere on social media I mentioned something to the effect of protecting the Earth-Mother against those who would harm her, paired with an obvious political stance. There was one individual, let’s call him Clive, who had a point, (understandable to a degree) that druids should stay apolitical. Furthermore, Clive said to “stay on point” and stated that making political statements “cheapens the message.”

Ok I get that. Some people are into druidry solely for the spiritual aspect, solely for escapism, or solely to honor the gods. Some are truly apolitical, while a large number of other druids are right-wingers for some reason, and often they seem uncomfortable disclosing how they reconcile druidry with voting against their own interests. Personally I think they are aware of their hypocrisy and just don’t want to come to terms with it. I’ve even seen an unhealthy number of White Supremacists trying to racially glorify their brand of druidry as a “Native European Religion” (a healthy number of racists would be zero).

I usually don’t really want to politicize my druidry either, but I realized druidry — a nature-based spirituality — is political, de facto. It always has been. Even the ancient druids held roles equivalent to political advisors, lawyers, and judges.

Look at the Industrial Revolution as it began three centuries ago, and look at how the Druidry Revival movement sprang up as a knee-jerk reaction to it. Those modern druids saw the destruction and exploitation of the Earth-Mother expanding exponentially. Profit and power were sold to the highest bidder with no regard for stewardship or sustainability, and the expansionist industrialization quickly became a hallmark of capitalism, imperialism, and colonialism.

Enter the Reformed Druids

In his 2004 interview, founder David Fisher recalled that Reformed Druidism “...has very little ethical importance, except sort of benign concern for nature and ecology. Perhaps some pacifism.” In tandem with that notion, the Reformed Druid movement began in 1963 as a protest against the rule of a conservative [college] administration.

Then in the early 1970s Richard Shelton was the 8th Arch-Druid of Carleton College Grove and Chairperson of the Council of Dalon Ap Landu. He wrote Exorcism in Time of War, invoking the Curse of the Druids, the latter of which is a well-guarded secret in the Reform. The druids were protesting the Vietnam War, and he created a ritual spell in his effort to put an end to the war. Shortly after Shelton used the exorcism, then-US president Nixon announced in January 1973 a ceasefire in North Vietnam, and the Reformed Druids claimed partial credit for their magical role in the peace accords.

Back to Clive

I’d have to say that I am staying on point as a member of the Reformed Druid movement. I won’t say Clive can’t be a Reformed Druid, but it does sound like there is room for self improvement on his part. Druidry as a whole is a vague amorphous blob that means something different to everyone. If me saying I want to protect the Earth-Mother from exploitation is some sort of cheapened message, then what is it that Clive wants me to deliver in terms of druidry? If there’s something about druidry that makes Clive feel uncomfortable, then he needs to feel that discomfort in order to grow as a spiritual being, and transcend past his hurdles.

Have an acorn. Something to inspire personal growth.

Editor’s Note: It took me three days to write and rewrite this entry and about two weeks deliberating whether I wanted to write it at all. I had to attempt to be more compassionate and understanding of the myriad forms of contemporary druidism out there and remove the vitriol in my tone. I still have yet to see or hear a convincing defense as to how conservative druids reconcile the nature-loving and environmental aspects of druidry with the exploitative habits of the political causes they support.

There’s always the good old “I don’t have to explain myself to you” condescending attitude they display, and it really only sounds like they know they have flawed reasoning and don’t want to address their hypocrisy. Also common responses are some sort of red herring fallacy where they try to change the subject. Being evasive doesn’t look good either. Why can’t they just answer the questions without making it about something else?

Lastly if I lose any followers over this post, then very well. In Reformed Druidry we call it weeding the grove. So be it.

#druidry #druid #politics #environmentalism #sustainability #stewardship #colonialism #hypocrisy #exploitation #acorn #reformed #druidism #ecology #pacifism #pagan #paganism

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throughscreendoors · 4 years ago

Text

i may destroy you 2.4

I’ve just been reminded of how great things can be. Was watching some Fran Lebowitz interviews on YouTube and she was commenting about how little great art there is, and how expecting masterpieces from artists is insane. If an artist creates one masterpiece, that’s an exceptional achievement—and many artists get worse over time, not better. Also many artists and writers never make a single masterpiece, let alone a single good or great thing. By extending her thinking there’s very little great anything, which is harsh but true—but I May Destroy You was great.

America teaches us to measure ourselves by what we consume. The high schooler who likes the obscure band tells everyone about it until it isn’t obscure anymore, and he has to find another one to brandish. Digital media disrupted that, because there’s no consensus or mainstream taste to snipe at from the fringes.

Algorithms have deconstructed the taste pyramid into a horizontally organized structure of some kind. We’re all ensconced in our own permeable bubbles, sure, but we don’t really make those bubbles anymore. Spotify or Netflix suggests things to us based on limited data points, we select those things and think we’ve chosen them. I thought for a while that irony died in the early 2000s, but it actually just got sharper; now you can ironically and unironically like obscure and popular art at once from a kind of superposition. Carly Rae Jepsen comes to mind here—she’s simultaneously recognizable pop icon and marginalized indie darling, authentic new voice and post-ironic pastiche.

There is no irony or sincerity anymore. They’ve welded together in an atom-wide scalpel that slices everything all the time in our words and preferences and values, so subtle we don’t even feel it. We recombine before we slide apart into a pile of flesh cubes.

That flattening of tastes has meant every created thing—whether widely recognizable or obscure—must fit into some algorithmically imagined category (or be made to fit one). Perhaps subconsciously fighting that trend, endless new meme formats have risen in response (a kind of organic algorithm, perhaps). A VSCO girl wears these shoes and takes photos from these angles; this is the lonely divorced dad starter pack; here is stock market boyfriend explaining GME and AMC to his astrology girlfriend using images created on 4chan for incels.

As algorithms slice us more and more precisely into bits and we reassemble those bits more and more astutely into formats we can understand, something strange is happening. New categories and dominant values are springing up that seem unassailable, protected by these two alternating currents—particularly around the messiest subjects. People who overcome trauma are heroes; the world can be divided into abusers and victims, oppressors and the oppressed. Implicit is that nobody really disagrees with these statements anymore, they just wield them as truths for different ends. The positions can be inverted, in other words, but those are the positions.

Part of what makes I May Destroy You so great is that it tears those unassailable categories down. On trauma and sexual assault, those in-the-know understand that trauma constitutes a reorganization of the brain. Memories can disappear and suddenly reappear. Our emotions can fluctuate wildly. People can pursue dangerous situations they wouldn’t otherwise; they can reverse on things they knew to be true for years instantaneously.

On the other side are people who don’t understand or refuse to learn these facts, people who trot out the same debunked arguments (why wouldn’t you report right away..., how is it you now conveniently remember..., why did you go along with it for so long..., etc). The beauty of the show is it uses that idea of the unassailable category against the viewer, in case they are skeptical. We follow Arabella’s consciousness; it behaves like it behaves. It’s our job to follow its oscillations and make sense of it.

By taking that simple stance, the show paints every character as both hero and villain, victim and abuser. It is nearly overwhelming how interconnected and interdependent everything in the show is—swallowing it all threatens to destroy the characters, as it does our own minds. It’s not a coincidence that the bar where much of the worst that happens in the show is called Ego Death.

There’s a new-age positivity that has seeped into the culture lately that we can heal from anything, we can infinitely grow and expand beautifully into ourselves and into the future. The show skewers that point astutely. In truth, you don’t heal from trauma—it’s a rupture in our consciousness, in the very structure we use to interface with reality. We don’t “heal” from these things, we die to the old version of ourselves. We reach forward and backward at the same time, experiencing joy and agony at once as we’re sliced into millions of pieces and recombined into a new structure. As we scan over that inner structure in our minds, we’re liable to come across pieces that don’t belong next to one another. That’s what we mean by “processing” something, be it a memory or ourselves. We may cry and laugh in the same breath.

It’s a real challenge to use art to deconstruct the entire cultural moment, while also offering a deep and rich representation of inner and outer worlds that aren’t seen very often on TV. It reminds me of the horror in the futuristic surrealism of Random Acts of Flyness, but more optimistic. It’s more generous in spirit than that, and it reaches into dangerous areas. The conclusion of the show threatens to infuriate the primary fan base the show is made for (in one of the truest artistic risks I’ve seen on television in some time). It has nuanced takes on feminism, veganism, consumerism, social media, consent, race and modern alienation, and it does it all in consistently experimental way with an amazing soundtrack and a huge heart.

It’s interesting to watch a British show as an American with all this in mind, as I think the majority of Americans don’t leave that phase of consumption. It’s tempting to hail a show like I May Destroy You as a way to call attention to yourself; it’s challenging, nuanced, empathetic and so on (and because I like it, I must also be those things, etc). I think watching the show is more of a wake-up call than that, and it feels false to use it that way.

Artists have such a privileged place in society. They are the most interesting and the most inspiring, and now everyone wants to be one. But there’s a difference between being creative and being a good artist. I don’t think being a good artist is an intrinsic thing in the way racists allege that race is intrinsic. Still, I do think good art has to come from some kind of novel experience of the world—and even that isn’t enough. It must be matched with virtuosity of some kind. Possessing both of those qualities is exceptionally rare.

Michaela Coel made something that feels entirely for her with this, and it’s incredible that she managed to. The pressure to give in to outside influence, to make things more digestible, to accept money for a lack of control is nearly overwhelming in my own experience; I assume it must be for others as well. I think maybe this is another mark of real artistry—when your desire to say something so outweighs the social pressure to stop you from saying it (obviously, this isn’t the only mark, just one of them).

What inspired me most about this is it’s a show that makes good on its promise. It makes you think about the darkest, most shameful parts of yourself that you would least like to share with the world and challenges you to start sharing them. It encourages the kind of self-examination that truly might destroy you—even if you’re not a victim of sexual assault. It’s a terrifying feeling, but the grace note of it all is that "you” are always being destroyed by outside forces, and you are also always recombining. What “you” means always contains its opposite, it seems to argue, and for that reason, we ought to be dangerously kind.

#I may destroy you #michaela coel #artists #tv review #artistry #fran lebowitz

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mallowstep · 4 years ago

Note

I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)

hello anon!

alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.

as for your ask,

hymns?

i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.

culture

alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.

windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)

i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.

moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.

tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.

whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.

i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.

(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)

anyway.

this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.

early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.

general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.

i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.

poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.

obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.

names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.

clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.

general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.

i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.

alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.

windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.

they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.

god i should reread dotc it's good.

alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.

we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.

the wind

the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.

The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.

i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.

anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.

they are the wind, and that's that.

the hare

okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza

Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.

okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.

i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.

(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)

now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.

a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.

it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"

of the warrens

so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.

And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.

and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.

the moon on the river

okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.

Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.

now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.

and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.

i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.

(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")

the gorse in the wind

oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.

the series title does not come from this hymn.

second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.

this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.

okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.

okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."

so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.

anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:

In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.

so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.

okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.

then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.

i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.

right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.

it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.

like a lot.

okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.

the heather and earth

okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):

Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.

and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.

but these lines? mmm they speak to me.

i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.

if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.

i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.

god.

uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.

and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.

but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.

#ask #anon #mine #txt #windclan #wcam #essay #long #warriors #warriors worldbuilding #windclan hymn project #mateo fanboying over solacefruit again

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obiyuki-beebs · 5 years ago

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I found this in chapter 56 and I thought it was kinda interesting. While Zen is comforting Shirayuki as she's crying, Mitsuhide says,"But this is about Zen and Shirayuki. I don't think this sudden distance is a big problem. It's not like being apart would cause their existence to become smaller in each other's lives." Maybe it's foreshadowing they will separate? What are your thoughts on this? Do you think ObiYuki still has a chance or is it just the author toying with us?

hi anon!! (￣ω￣)

Short answer:

Yes, Whoaboy get ready I have some THOUGHTS, YESS!! and No.

I have been sitting on this ask for a long time sorry for le wait

The vast majority of this post is below the cut. I hope it is not too much / addresses what you meant.

Here are some notes before I subject whoever reads this to my madness:

These little moments of “It’s okay to do what you want to do” always strike me, and I think about them when I’m considering Zen v Obi endgame because it opens up the possibility that things can change.

Yes it’s a shojo and shojo protagonists tend to stick with their initial love interest... blah blah blah. I don’t think this preconceived notion of how shojo manga ‘always goes’ is a valid point anymore.

So .... I think the comments we are both thinking of usually refer to Shirayuki’s Path and how she must be able to Stand By Zen’s Side as an Ally, etc. So I’ll kind of be thinking of this from the angle of a Journey.

Everything discussed is also after The Play We Believe is Foreshadowing (except for the panels pulled from ch 9 and 20) which I think should be considered for the context of the plot.

If it is actually foreshadowing for an eventual Obi & Shirayuki story arc -- which tbh we might be in the midst of (currently) at ch 117 without realizing it -- then it’s relevant to how we frame the comments made afterwards. At the end of the day, Akizuki-sensei is an author. She is telling us a story. I think it’s reasonable to seek out clues to foreshadowing in fictional stories. So I’m operating under a 90% certainty that the play is foreshadowing.

I have found that the best (fictional) stories are ones that have been planned carefully. I have no way of verifying if AnS has been so precisely crafted to weave in so much foreshadowing that we speculate over, but damn it sure feels like it was.

The manga was originally just the first chapter, so we can assume that after writing that chapter and deciding to make it into a series, there was some planning done.

ANyway............... strong speculation ahead. I think I was ~60% thorough in my search to find material relevant to Foreshadowing of a Separation.

Please enjoy!

1) So we’ll start with a panel from ch 9,

where Zen is considering his relationship with Shirayuki and his growing crush.

This panel is, as stated above, part of the story that Akizuki expanded on after the original one-shot. In the first chapter, we get a lot of cute fate-chitchat between Zen and Shirayuki, but I think -- after deciding to continue the story -- Akizuki changed the tone to allow for more character development, and to challenge the Fate tropes often seen in romance.

Thus, the statement above from Zen that they may not always be together.

foreshadowing ?! ( ˙▿˙ )

___________________________

2) In Chapter 28,

we have the crew essentially saying they are all growing stronger for the sake of each other, and lending their strength as needed.

Within the story, Akizuki-sensei has established a theme of moving forward and changing as needed as a way to get stronger.

Mitsuhide says this to Shirayuki, also in Ch 28:

Why .... does Mitsuhide look so serious as he says this to her? Is he reconciling the fact that Shirayuki and Zens paths may diverge at some point, as they do for the Lyrias arc?

He follows up the above statement with:

He goes on to say,

“I want you to follow your heart so you can stand on your own wherever Zen takes you.”

So... maybe that context takes away some of the significance for fellow lovers of AnS. But I don’t think we should just ignore the statement.

I think she’s being given permission to change her mind; that it’s okay for her to have feelings for Zen, but it’s also okay if she chooses to end things. Mitsuhide will support her either way.

Even though the the full remark still has to do with Zen, she is being encouraged to stand on her own. She is her own person. She has friends who will still be there even if she chooses something different from what people expect of her.

In this case -- pertaining to AnS as a whole, from the perspective of everyone who ‘knows’ about ZenYuki in-story and also (meta!) the manga readers -- Shirayuki is expected to someday marry Zen.

After this, in Chapter 29, Izana is a bit derisive to Shirayuki after she gets the title from Tanbarun. I think his comments are intentionally made to make her uncomfortable. He says,

“Hahahaha! What an unusual title! Amazing!”

- cue confusion from Zen and Shirayuki -

“I wasn’t poking fun at it, it’s just a bit strange. Hmm... before, I said a nobody like her at your side would sully your name, Zen, but with this you can be friends without any such worry, right?

“Shirayuki, I’ve never asked what kind of relationship you want to have with Zen. And I don’t know if it’s something that can be said.”

Alrighty. So. Izana says in front of Shirayuki that he had described her as a nobody. This seems like something said meant to disquiet her, and her initial reaction is, “taken aback,” so we can safely say it was at least temporarily disconcerting for her to hear. I imagine it’s hurtful to hear you were once thought of as someone unworthy of notice.

Don’t get me wrong, I think most of what Izana says and does is in relatively good faith. I think the fandom has come to a general conclusion that he’s testing their relationship.

Obi finds her in the early morning and he notices that she’s upset, commenting that she’s making a strange face. She is still thinking about what Izana said, and Obi asks,

“Is it about the path you want to take?”

“....No. It’s that I haven’t given it any thought.”

Zen already wishes (though I don’t think he’s explicitly stated it the way he does later in ch 33) to marry Shirayuki, and we see her here facing emotional turmoil because that part of her future isn’t something she has thought about yet. Interesting, to say the least.

I’m not really sure about this, but it seems like she either means where Zen is taking her and / or where she can stand on her own.

And then .......

“Obi, will you lend me a hand?”

“Didn’t I tell you before that I’ll take you wherever you want to go?”

This part of the story is still heavy ZenYuki, but I think Obi saying this to her right now is significant. Akizuki has repeatedly weaved Shirayuki’s path into the themes of the story so far, while contrasting that Zen will meet her at her destination, while Obi will be at her side for the journey.

Zen and Shirayuki meet and talk. They basically address that Shirayuki doesn’t really know what the future holds, but that she still wants to stand by his side, and says that even though he’s a prince she wants to think it’s okay for her to feel that way.

You almost forget about the significance of Obi and Shirayuki’s relationship when it’s followed up by this ZenYuki scene. I wonder about the aforementioned nature-of-planning involved in the story and the future of the characters at this point.

gnah how did this post get so long already

___________________________

3) Zen has presumably given his blessing for Obi to be happy in love

In chapter 31, while the group is stranded outside Wistal due to rain, Zen and Obi are in the bath talking about the possibility of Kiki and Mitsuhide getting married.

“It’s fine with me as long as they can say that they’re happy. I intend to make sure of that.”

“You’ll make sure of that?”

“The same applies to you too, Obi.”

More foreshadowing? Presently it seems that the MitsuKiki ship has sunk, so contrasting this conversation to current-manga-events is titillating to me. ESPECIALLY because Zen says that he wants to make sure Obi is happy when Zen knows how Obi feels about Shirayuki. So it’s established that they will support one another as friends.

Later, Kiki and Mitsuhide are talking after dinner and discuss how the nature of Zen and Shirauki’s friendship never changes (that’s the impression I got from it). Mitsuhide recalls when he and Zen talked about the same thing:

I think what Kiki and Mitsuhide are referring to is that Zen and Shirayuki have made a conscious effort to become friends despite the barriers they’ve encountered so far, by way of them showing the strength of their mutual respect and desire to aid one another. I get a similar feel from the conversation between Zen and Mitsuhide.

And then .....

“The two of us will always be friends.”

ahem

Zen saying this -- in context to everything from the past four chapters -- implies that Zen is okay if their relationship is not romantic. If it is true that the mangas plot was deliberately planned out, these chapters will become increasingly interesting to look back on as the plot progresses.

The direction of the story has changed since then if we are only looking at the big turning point of Mitsuhide rejecting Kiki.

And despite that rejection, the group is still a group despite their physical distance.

___________________________

Brief note to say that in Ch 33 Izana says to Zen,

“Let me be an ally as you and Shirayuki follow your own path.”

While this is a ZenYuki comment, I see it as Akizuki reinforcing that each character is following their own path and they will be supported as they do.

___________________________

3.5) After this point is the first Lyrias arc,

where obiyuki shippers are starting to salivate over how much is packed in just for their relationship. I mean .... remember when she pushed him to the ground because she thought he would get hit by snow? And he gives her those moony eyes just like it didn’t stop ... my heart

UGH JUST SAYING IT BECAUSE context! Shirayuki’s path is changing slowly, and Obi is still by her side.

___________________________

4) A period of transition

I think this is around the time the Bergatt arc is actually beginning, leading up even to current-manga-events.

In Chapter 53

And thus, they head towards the path that a new wind blows upon.

The times are changing.

While Shirayuki is preparing for her and Ryuu’s move to Lyrias, Zen and co. are at Wilant meeting with Haruto, who describes fools aiming to throw the country into turmoil. This is a seed for the plot that develops, ie, the Bergatt arc that was not actually resolved when Touka gets taken down at Sereg in ch (?) 86. I bring this up because I think it shows the level of planning that Akizuki has put into the story at this point.

In chapter 55, after Shirayuki has finally been able to tell Zen she’ll be away from Wistal for 2 years, and they have this conversation (slightly paraphrased) after he’s processed for a short time:

Zen -

“Sorry. The fact that you would be leaving the castle was something that I’d never considered. So my reaction was a little slow.

“I’ll hear it. I’m sure there was more you wanted to say.”

Shirayuki -

“I’m really glad that I got to meet you and come to the castle! I’m where I am now because I wanted to become Zen’s ally; and i achieved that by coming to the castle and becoming a royal pharmacist.

“I’m sure that, like how it’s always been, there’s something ahead connecting to my path now. That’s why, because there’s a place I have yet to go, I want to be there.”

This is Zen’s face after she says the above:

What is he thinking? Is he worried about their romantic relationship? I interpret it as preemptive disappointment that they may not stay together.

Shortly after we get to the point you made in your ask (sweet anon) re ch 56 with Mitsuhides comment. This adds to the reinforced theme that change is okay and they will all still be friends and allies regardless of where life takes them.

BUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER Mitsuhide says that in reference to Zen and Shirayuki, Obi responds:

Is Akizuki drawing a parallel between MitsuKiki and ZenYuki? No idea. maybe. But somehow I do not find it coincidental.

This seems like a MitsuKiki hint, meant to fuel the ultra-shippable pair that we all loved... but after the rejected proposal, it’s hard not to see the whole situation differently re: zenyuki / obiyuki and mitsukiki / hisakiki.

Then the first true ObiYuki hug, and this:

“It feels as though Obi might suddenly appear in Lyrias!”

girl you already knew. Shirayuki knows that Obi will follow her.

Obi deliberately postpones going to Lyrias, though, in order to consider his feelings for Shirayuki and how to tell Zen.

Then!! in 58-59 we get long-awaited confirmation from Obi that he has feelings for Shirayuki, and after this beautiful moment Obi goes to Lyrias to be at Shirayuki’s side, and after everything that has happened so far that is a clincher for me regarding our beloved Foreshadowing.

While discussing Obi’s crush on Shirayuki, Obi asks Zen

“Aren’t you going to propose?”

“.......................Well, I’m.. making her .. wait.”

“Master ... I don’t recommend postponing it, you know.”

I wonder about this comment. Is this a clue for us that Zen postponing engagement is going to be a negative thing in the future?

idk maybe ╮(￣ω￣)╭

Either way ........ This transition period, in between Lyrias 1 and 2, shows us that the story is changing.

___________________________

I have definitely not covered all of the possible moments of foreshadowing and am actually going to leave off on that topic for the time being. I might do a part 2 as its own post.

But for now I will switch to previously mentioned point that...

5) Obi and Shirayuki’s paths are walked together

I think the following two panels are a great way to frame their relationship. Chapter 20 in early Tanbarun arc:

And then, much later in chapter 106 as they stand by the fire and Shirayuki tells Obi he’s handsome in the light:

“... because you come with me.” ( ╥ω╥ )

And then more delightful talk from chapter 104 that I think is ... gasp

foreshadowing !!!!!

They are having this discussion after they’ve found out about Kiki becoming engaged to Hisame.

“It’s necessary to have the courage to make a decision and take a step down that path, isn’t it?”

Shirayuki is possibly saying this due to the implications of Kiki’s letter. Kiki has made the choice to take a new path from the one she had been on by marrying Hisame.

So what about Shirayuki’s journey? Has her growth led her to a path she didn’t expect, and now it will take courage to step down it?

In recent chapters Shirayuki is shown to be seeing Obi differently and as a man:

overhearing him calling her beautiful and being surprised that he is embarrassed she heard

witnessing him going to a marriage meeting

that little moment where he is holding her wrist as a Lyrias knight tells him that the knights sister wishes him luck in love

the firelight comment oh my god

realizing she lost the pin Obi gave her and tearing up as she literally stared at him; upset that the gift she cherished is now missing and potentially realizing how very dear to her Obi actually is

fake dating and the 10 seconds of ... just... I still cant even

Obi is the one who is by Shirayuki’s side. They developed a bond through years friendship that is now being reframed by Akizuki. The nature of their relationship has been slowly changing and I think we approaching a time in the manga where Shirayuki will realize it.

___________________________

To answer your last question ... I do think ObiYuki has a chance and I do not think the author is just toying with us. I’ve talked a lot about my ObiYuki Endgame feels in previous posts/asks. I could probably talk about it forever but this post is absurdly long .... sorry

Thank you so much for the ask! and wow thank you so much if you actually read this whole thing!

<3 beebs <3

#obiyuki #obi x shirayuki #speculating #so much speculating #ask beebs #i dont think this is even my longest post #that may be an issue #ans #akagami no shirayukihime #obyuki #meta

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