#Anonymous soap

[anomymoussoapbar]

I have had a few askers who doubted me getting any hate in my inbox so, I scrolled down and screenshotted a bit of the tamer messages I got LOL

Anyways, you are all loved, even you two anons. 💞🌸 Drink lots of water and stay nourished.

[incognitopolls]

Anon's parents seem to believe that their system is very clear. Anon can never figure it out and has to ask every time. When the bottles are full, the liquid in each is visually almost identical, and very similar in viscosity as well. The only noticeable difference is the size/shape of the bottles.

If you think it's obvious, share your reasoning in the comments/tags!

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[divine-draws]

please draw more lovely bits of ghoap being all cuddly and domestic, maybe one of them laying on the couch playing with the hair of the other?

oh to be tenderly embraced...

[the-palelady]

could you mayhaps perhaps potentially elaborate on simon meeting the love of his life????

this made me giggle

but absolutely

because when i tell you he is down bad…he is down bad bad.

the tickets were soap’s, but he couldn’t possibly go alone. kyle might have been down to attend, but in johnny’s eyes asking simon, a quiet man who you wouldn’t catch dead in a crowded place like this, sounded much more interesting.

of course, simon was reluctant, saying no a million times before he finally gave in. which took some bribing on soap’s end (listen, free beer is free beer).

the show was packed. shoulders touching shoulders, people practically climbing over one another as the stadium’s energy became more intense. but simon had to admit to himself that he was enjoying it, tapping his foot to the beat of the music, a beer in one hand and his free hand shoved into his pants pockets. the colorful lights reflected off his amber eyes until the shine of your own eyes caught his attention.

you were so bright eyed and full of energy. you sang each song, word for word, with the people around you, uncaring of what was going on beyond the walls of the stadium. it was just you and the music. simon almost felt like he was intruding on the peaceful moment you were having (even though ride the lightning is hardly a peaceful song).

it took until almost the end of the show for him to finally work up the courage to speak to you, pushing through the crowd of people as he followed you out to the lobby.

once the concert was over, johnny turned to simon only to find a group of teenagers standing in his place. soap didn’t expect to lose his lieutenant in a place like this. but after almost 30 minutes of searching, he really didn’t expect to find simon leaning against a wall, hands once again nestled into the pockets of his jeans and his hooded head tilted downwards, seemingly looking at something.

“there ya fuckin’ are, lt. been lookin’ for ya fo-”

johnny’s mouth locks itself shut when you come into view, his words not even reaching simon’s ears, too fixated on you.

tiny little thing you are in comparison to simon, monster of a man he is. you have a band shirt on, makeup done although your eyeliner is a bit smudged, and hair jostled about, sticking up in some places. your fingers fiddle with one another, clasped together as you rambled on about something to romeo in front of you.

a sea of people has to step around johnny, his jaw practically touching the floor as he watches simon’s usually disinterested expression stay locked onto you, eating up every word that slips from your mouth. he can see the fireworks going off in simon’s eyes, the subtle nod of his head, urging you to keep speaking. his mouth moves under the black mask that obscures the lower half of his face, but johnny’s not close enough to hear what he’s saying.

even sees his shoulders shake, laughing at something you had said, to which you join in with your own giggles.

after some time, someone shouts, and from the way you perk up, johnny assumes it’s the group you came to the concert with. when you turn back, he utters something before his hand slips out of his pocket, holding his phone out to you.

you take the device with a smile, tapping something in before handing it back and leaving with a big grin spreading across your face, cheeks rosy red and eyes just as sparkly as simon’s.

johnny’s voice doesn’t even break simon from his thoughts when he finally approaches him, still watching you scurry away with your friends.

“thought i was ‘ere to see metallica?! no’ fuckin’ romeo and juliet.”

[soapsbaby]

Hi! Can I request silly horny autocorrect texting headcanons with 141 and whoever you wish to add? I couldn't stop laughing at Soap's "baby gorilla" so I hope my request is okay. Thank you! 🧡

Love your request! I couldn't really come up with enough autocorrect headcanons so I made more general texting ones! Hope you enjoy anyway mwah!

Summary: 141 + König silly texting headcanons Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" Mactavish, John Price, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, König all in relation to the reader (some romantic, some friendly) Rating: slightest bit nsfw Word Count: 500ish

Simon

Simon texts you like he hates you all the time. One word answers, no emojis, no anything and then gets confused when you wonder whether he is mad at you. 

“Hey love, do you want me to get you something from the store while I’m there? love you!!” “no” “Simon, are you mad at me?” “no” “Promise?” “yes” 

He understands your point but he would rather be caught dead than use emojis

You have him saved in your phone with the ghost emoji as his name, he has you saved as your full legal name even though you’ve been dating for years now, just isn’t a big phone guy. 

Johnny

He types like he just slams his hand onto the keyboard and hopes for the best and there are more words with typos in his texts than there are ones without. Even autocorrect can’t save this man. 

He once, to your horror, told you about this “super cute rubber dick” he found at a store and how he’d bring it home to you so you’d have something to remember him by when he goes on missions. It took about an hour and him sending a picture until you realized he meant to say rubber duck. 

He’s been saved in your phone with the little duck emoji next to his name ever since.

Price

Old man texting all of the time. Does not understand memes (but laughs about them to make you happy), does not understand emojis and their meanings or any abbreviations. 

Is obsessed with the ability to send you gifs. You ask him a yes or no question? He won’t type it out, he’ll send you a gif of someone giving a thumbs up or of someone shaking their head.

If he gets the chance he will always prefer calling you over just texting.

Gaz

He makes typos all the damn time but god beware you ever mistype a single time because he will mock you for it until eternity. God beware the one time you told him you wanted to grab some food from “Windy’s” instead of “Wendy’s”. Now every time someone suggests to get takeout he’ll have this smug look on his face. “Oh, I think y/n would prefer Windy’s actually”.

Is the type to send you 6 minute voice memos about whatever he has been doing that day, get distracted halfway through and  then start the story over. 

Has like 7 hours of screen time on days that he isn’t at work. He’s the type to refuse to download tiktok and then scroll instagram reels for hours. 

König

He has German autocorrect on and it’s a mess. He can’t type to begin with but the autocorrect makes him borderline incoherent.

He is also a big user of emojis when it comes to texting you, he loves all of the smileys and hearts

“I am ging to the größere Story, do you nieder anything?” “Sorry what?” “Going to the Wal mart do you need any thing?” “No, thanks” “Ok Love you!!! 💕💞💖❤️”

Will send you pictures of everything that reminds him of you "Look at this flowers 😄💕"

[canisalbus]

saw your modern au piece where you tagged 'scenthound' and it just made me think about vasco in the original story after machete dies and how he'll never smell and take comfort in whatever unique smell machete had ever again and whoops I made myself sad

O- oh...

To be honest I don't know if Vasco's sense of smell is significantly better than a non-scenthound dog's (I mean maybe a little? Since scenthounds tend to have large nasal cavities and more room for olfactory receptors than a dog with shorter or narrower snout? But it's not really relevant in this context).

The way I see it, dog people's sense of smell is more acute than ours, but not as overpowered as that of an actual dog. Scents are more meaningful to them. For example, when you spend enough time with someone, your scents start to blend together, and smelling like your partner/family is an important part of bonding. I'd imagine that it plays into grieving process too. Even if you held on to the belongings of the deceased, their specific scent will eventually fade away from them as well.

I've talked about how the dogs perceive smells here and here.

[undeadcannibal]

I LOVED your post about how the Los Vaqueros squad would react about getting rid of cockroaches and bugs.

I was wondering if you could do another one like that but with task force 141.

You don't have to do this feel free to ignore this request!

Summary: How the 141 guys would react to having to get rid of cockroaches for you.

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap

Warnings: Mentions of bug squishing, none!

A/N: Thank ya, Anon. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, hopefully you’ll enjoy this one as well! I have a lot of fun writing for the boys. :3 ( Gif credit: xxx )

Gaz―

When I tell you this man fucking h a t e s insects of all types...

He can’t stand them at all but knows sometimes he has no choice but to power through being around the worst of the worst.

When you two got together and you mentioned being unable to stand cockroaches, he’s screaming internally

Does not want to be the designated bug squisher but also will power through solely for you

He’ll complain about having to get rid of the cockroach or whatever the entire time but does manage to get it done

Absolutely does not like to think about the squashed bug in the trash, don’t mention it to him please, he’ll be forced to take it out and put in a new trash bag, does not feel bad at all about doing so.

Also demands a hug and/or a kiss after for a job well done, praise this man for being so brave please

Price―

He's not all that bothered by insects really.

Even though he's taking care of the bug problem for you, will absolutely live it up like he's your knight in shining armor over something so small.

Can totally see him asking for a kiss as a 'thank you' for dealing with the nasty thing.

When it comes to spiders though? He's the one that's running into another room for safety. I personally headcanon that he can't stand them and always exaggerates the size of the smallest spiders due to his fear of them.

Don't ask him to clear out any cobwebs or places that could have tons of them, he'll refuse unless armed with canisters of spray.

Ghost―

He's practically the designated bug dispatcher of the squad anyway with how unbothered he is by them all. So, when you're together and freaking out, he's already coming over to take care of the problem.

Only thing I see him absolutely refusing to deal with is snakes for personal reasons he refuses to disclose.

Still, he couldn't care less about getting rid of pests for you. Actually enjoys it because it makes him feel all the more useful and worthy of you, in an odd way.

Only thing he doesn't like is that they make you scream because it instantly puts him into high-alert and he's running, ready for anything, only to see you practically climbing the walls to escape a tiny thing like a cockroach.

Absolutely is one of those people that can handle most insects without a care in the world, cockroaches included. But, also doesn't care that much about them in the long run, so also seems like the type to like, flick them off of him if he sees anything on him or you.

Soap―

Lowkey just as disgusted with them but much like Graves, absolutely refuses to let you think something as tiny as a cockroach or something similar has him grossed out.

Even though he'll complain about it the entire time, he's quick to help out.

Disposes of it without a second thought, doesn't care about the whole "they're only crime was being small" schtick, he's killing the bastards.

Prefers grabbing something else to squish the poor bugger because he can't stand the feeling of it squishing, even through the barrier of a paper towel or something else.

[john-captain-price]

The guys did this to me with an app called...Picrew? I think.

They say he looks like me, but I'm not so sure.

[thejohnlockedfemboy]

Could you do a bot where johnny and simon adopt a hybrid pup and it's like their baby (sorta like a little maybe they're vamps or werewolfs? Sorta like chattingandshifts au- I love their au)

ofc! That’s such a cute idea ><

I’ll work on it soon! I have a lot of requests in queue :’3

[anomymoussoapbar]

unironically stopped being an anti TODAY!

I personally dont ship (not always, unless it’s canon to source material like in Evillious) but tbh I DO want to draw art showing these types of themes in order to cope

interesting! :*)

I guess the more I'm observing from these asks, the main question I have for proshippers is if the term extends to dark themes in general?

[My favorite media as an example of dark themes is Phantom of the Opera, or so forth. But I'm not sure personally]

Anyways, I don't have a lot to add, mostly just glad you found comfort in a space where you can be yourself :*) 💞🌸

[incognitopolls]

(Anon's submission used the term "hard soap," which I vaguely understand to mean a certain type of bar soap produced by a specific process(?), but I'm not sure if that's what anon meant or if they just meant non-liquid soap in general. If this was your submission and you did mean something more specific, feel free to let me know more details.)

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[noroalia]

Soap

top 10 characters of all time

[dreemurr-skelememer]

If you had 3 apples and Johnny took 2 how many apples would you have left?

Asking for a friend and definitely not for my math homework

johnny give that shit back

[skunkes]

TIP!! Im also not a smoker but I love the way cigars smell, and there are some incenses that smell really similar. I once bought one that had tobacco, cloves and sandalwood and it was so good. It'd make the entire room smell sexy.

Myrrh is my personal favourite incense smell but it does make my house smell like a catholic church's basement.

I heart tobacco clove sandalwood smell and i love catholic church basement.....taking notes ...

[canisalbus]

Do the modern AU boys have a favorite movie or show (or genre of media) they watch together? I imagine they curl up together on a couch or something with a glass of wine or something and just watch Spanish soap operas together and decompress.

.

[tevos]

The uniform didn’t do anything from me either, but honestly, my eyes glaze over whenever she starts talking about her job or anyone praises her for being a cop because it’s like be fucking serious lol. Like obviously I don’t expect a daytime British soap to get into the intricacies of the corruption and brutality of the police system but the show could definitely stand to stop kissing their asses 🤷🏾‍♀️ that’s why im really hoping Lisa takes a break or just quits in the upcoming storyline because I’m so over her job and her alliance to it. I think most fans gloss over it or don’t care but the entire thing is insufferable to me lol

right? i’m genuinely really surprised by the response to it, it’s deeply uncomfortable. they’ve laid some solid foundations for her to quit her job, but with the police set being so over-utilised currently, and smaller business sets all but disappearing, i doubt they’d have her go into any type of job that we haven’t already seen another character doing (which leaves, realistically, what? she becomes one of carla’s soon-to-be-exes and starts working at the factory? 😩) - but still the little delusional voice at the back of my head is begging for them to have her in another career, working mostly from home/on the road, to get around that.