#BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD INVALIDATE HIS TRAUMA

[thefallenangel2008]

Look man, I love Stan as much as the next person, but I HATE when people invalidate Ford's trauma and abuse to go say about how Stan had it "worse". THEY WERE BOTH ABUSED BY FILBRICK AND THE ADULTS AROUND THEM BUT IN DIFFERENT WAYS. THEY BOTH WENT THROUGH SOME SERIOUS SHIT BC OF THEIR MISTAKES. THEY'VE BOTH PAYED THE PRICE. THEY'VE BOTH BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK AND NOW THEY'RE THRIVING, TOGETHER. Bro I have so much stuff to say about this but I genuinely don't have the motivation rn. Either way, the main point of the post is: STOP INVALIDATING FORD'S TRAUMA. HE DIDN'T HAVE IT EASIER FROM STAN, NOR VICE VERSA. THEY'RE TWO TRAUMATIZED OLD MEN WITH THEIR FLAWS AND THEIR EVERYTHING AND THEY DESERVE THE TIME AND SPACE TO WORK ON THEMSELVES.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[sevinagreatergood]

Please, Lily fans that treat Snape like the Boogeyman, you just go fuck yourself. Honestly. Lily appears for what? Like a chapter or something and she:

- Watches her friend being bullied for 5 years.

- As a prefect abuses her authority to favor her Gryffindor friends

- As a prefect calls Snape ungrateful from being saved by a murder that one of his bullies orchestrated.

- Compares her Gryffindor friend their problem to her childhood friend his problem that he suffered from since year 1 as a prefect by saying "at least they don't use dark arts"

- Smiles at his sexual assault as a prefect. "As though" and "twitched" means there was still a grin of some sort for a split second. That Harry could recognize it from far means it was very obvious from close

- Left a victim to their abusors as a prefect

- Made friends with people that spoke ill of Snape and their friendship

- Uses those friends as a reason to bury a friendship

- Never bothered to apologize herself for leaving him there hanging with James that litterally asked next if he should remove the underwear next.

- Went to date his bully next a year later

I mean, if she didn't like to fight the marauders in a combat. She could've at least called the teacher. I mean, she's a prefect AND the brightest witch, let her do something, my god. She can't possibly go confront those idiots after knowing them for 5 years that they WONT listen to her, whilst fully aware her authority doesn't work on them, so she relies on luck that they will back off.

I know it's mysoginistic to say that her most useful part was popping out Harry, but please. By god, tell me something else that was so worthy of her that she did? Ending the war? Couldn't have been done without Snape. Be a good friend? Failed horribly at that. Get a good husband? Failed in that too. I mean, her character was written by a mysoginistic woman that hates basically everything outside the normal heterosexual Christian idea of a stability and family.

Lily was bound to fail as a justified character the more we progressed as a society anyway. Believe me when I say, nobody would even stomach Lily. She's just that girl that would drive you insane by giving small jabs at you, be that toxic positivity person in your life, befriend people that hate you and say that everyone deserves a chance.

She would NOT take your feelings into consideration at all, if you're not the same fierce personality as her. So all the introverts out there would be fucked and be treated like her carpet. People with common sense wouldn't even like her. Imagine talking to her about abusive household and child neglect and she would be there "Well, there are worse things in the world than your depression."

Or go "At least you're alive. I know some people who aren't."

She genuinely makes me think of such people and makes my skin crawl. She's toxic positivity. It may look nice and sweet but it does not. All it does is make you feel bad and invalidate your own emotions, trauma and process. So please Lily fan while simultaneously being a snater. Know that you would be swiped left by her if you are not useful to her in any way or have a hard life.

(Remus? Bro, the kid was trying to be as normal as possible and acted normal as possible. He didn't want to talk about his troubles at all, stomaching his secrets and whatnot. So obviously she wouldn't be confronted with "it's a hard knock life for us" theme out there. Aside the once a month occurrence that his friends looked after too, it WAS an easy person to deal with.)

She treated a friend of 7 years like a charity case. Who the fuck do you think you are then? Not a better friend, that's for sure. If your life was tough, miserable and exhausting. You better not lean on her. Because she wants the friends who are fun, extrovert, not that troubled by life, like herself.

She had an amazing life. Clearly well fed and wealthy enough for her sister to look down on Snape's poverty (which Lily didn't). Obviously, she couldn't handle a miserable wreck of a human being by her side whose life existed of neglect and abuse. That's your Lily. That's canon Lily. A girl incapable of understanding deep rooted emotions, unwilling to hear you out even, then dump you when things get too tough or heated.

Because she herself was a privileged girl that got everything (just like her crappy dead husband, James) so her emotion range is that of a rock. It's time for people to wake up from that disgusting Lily slumber they have. Actually, many of the marauders fans should wake up.

You would not be part of their friendship and probably would be their next chew toy. Some maraudersfans at least accept that their characters are trashy. But Lily fans? It's like "if you dare touch her, etc" bro, she's horrible.

Many might argue that she was not as horrible as James and what not. But to me she was. She was worse than James. Because she was the actual one and only friend of Snape. The girl that could basically represent his emotions. And she abused it. You would be an imbecile if you didn't notice how much Snape is dependent on you.

She didn't let him down slowly and softly. But basically ripped his heart out and kicked him to the curb. Who the fuck even breaks up a friendship of 7 years like "Uhm, well you know, right? My friends don't like you so I don't either and my friend did keep telling me about how much they hate you but I was protecting you from them you know? Now I can't. Otherwise I look like a loser."

That's how the conversation sounded to me.

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Ivan and Luka parallels and contrast

Point four~: who they are, their personalities

These two idiots won't stop invalidating themselves for shit. It's chronically unhealthy, and it shows up in two different ways: masking and repression.

Luka was bred and raised to be without his own will and goals or to believe the goals he is forced to have are his. There is not much independence when it comes to him, yet his search for autonomy/freedom lingers on everyone he encounters.

Ivan was emotionally neglected for as long as we have known him. His relationship with Unsha is described as "business partners" (or something similar). He couldn't have been that old when he was adopted, yet it was already more formalities than care.

Luka was groomed for the segyein, while Ivan was just neglected on all ends when it came to personality and emotions. Their sense of self, their "independence" looks different than what we think of when we say those words.

Their actual personalities are hidden, yet around their person of affection they are honest in odd ways that make people dismiss them. Hyuna never took Luka seriously when he showed possessiveness of her. Till brushed Ivan off as an annoying and constant presence.

Luka takes this mask further due to his training and can control his own heartbeat. Ivan, on the other hand, is deceptive and pretends to feel a favorable way.

Many people I know just don't know who Luka and Ivan are as people (away from other people) because of the constant masking and the conflicting messages their actions show. They're repressed and stuck in their heads (like most of the cast). They have a recurring theme of both thinking how they see the world is the objective truth, and that they are not an entity unto themselves.

"I've observed much, and this must be right because I know the cause and effect" Ivan to the "this results in my comfortable worth so this must be true" Luka.

What are their true selves? The fuck if anyone knows. Vivinos admits to nobody (probably) being able to understand their hearts/emotions. And that's okay. People who don't know who they are or can't be known fully are just as deserving of love and care as someone who knows what the pieces mean. Trauma can fragment or distort a person. They're still a person. When your entire life is spent in abuse, the abuse does define you a bit. It's not a bad thing if you're still stuck in your situation or just coming out. Nobody should expect a victim to be whole while being a victim.

Ivan doesn't have self-worth because of his invalidation his upbringing and experiences with socialization gave him. Luka is self destructive because all that he has ever been told that he exists for is the stage and the audience.

At the end of it all, they've been alone and not understood or listened to by others around them. Whether called weird or laughed off, their true natures are repeatedly trampled on, even by the viewers who know them as fiction.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

[sepublic]

As I try to dig into Harumi's whole mindset, I think her revenge logic can be boiled down to idol worship. She doesn't blame Pythor (as much) for the Great Devourer, because Pythor is the designated bad guy, that's what he's supposed to do, he can't let her down if she never had any expectations for him.

But the ninja? Harumi, in her childish wonder, idolized the ninja, practically worshipped them; She had an understandably juvenile understanding of Good VS Evil, of Good always prevailing, of conflict always being black and white and glamorous and in the end, justice wins. Everything is tied up easily.

So then why are her parents dead, why has Harumi lost everything, while everyone celebrates and acts as if the day is saved? It is very much NOT saved in her eyes, how is everyone able to just move on and invalidate her trauma?!?

Harumi idolizes the ninja, she expects them to be perfect heroes because if she can't believe in them, she can't believe in anything; It's why she makes a cult. A cult of personality. She latches onto the idea of Lord Garmadon as someone who can save her, who can accomplish what needs to be done, someone who is perfect and who will never fail her, and maybe you can link this to Harumi missing her parents as steady, dependable figures in her life she can rely on.

She's a stunted child; Harumi still expects for there to be someone to save her, to protect her, to coddle her. Most children grow out of this in a healthy, reasonable way, but Harumi's circumstances were anything but that. And you could tie that into how Lloyd was also forced to grow up fast... except in Harumi's case, she did not survive the crucible, she did not emerge 'stronger' for it.

Looking into her diary, Harumi idolizes Lord Garmadon, but when he becomes chill and more like the ninja who failed her, that's when Harumi becomes disappointed in him. This isn't the Garmadon SHE wants, she wants someone who she can rely and trust on, a Big Brother figure that makes her feel safe through any means possible.

That's why she brings back Garmadon as Lord Garmadon, while ignoring his human side, because Harumi explicitly hates that. She is someone who projects all of her hopes and needs and desires onto someone else, and when they inevitably fall short because they're human (for lack of a better term), Harumi feels personally insulted that she wasted all of her faith on them.

So Harumi's motives aren't just revenge, even if that does factor a lot into it; It's also a very unhealthy approach to life that involves a leader to take care of everything. A perfect savior, a Chosen One even, which pairs well with Lloyd being raised as one; A lot of his trauma and abandonment stems from his expected role. If Lloyd is the one who bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, Harumi is the one he is supposed to save, who expects him to handle it perfectly, and blames him when it doesn't turn out as it should.

It's a very childish and simplistic way of viewing the world, obviously. It also makes Harumi sympathetic to dictatorship and fascism, because there needs to be a strong, concentrated ruler who decides everything for everyone, and destroys the designated bad guys as they're supposed to. So with all that in mind, it does make sense that Harumi would pledge allegiance to the Overlord; He promises strength and security, he doesn't hesitate at all.

Harumi isn't just vendetta-fueled, because otherwise she'd be going after the Serpentine, just as much; If she just wanted revenge on the ninja, she wouldn't have bothered with Garmadon specifically, wouldn't have worshipped him so fanatically. It's about stability and structure for her, and she hates the ninja for not doing what they should've done long ago. Her being raised by the Emperor and Empress of Ninjago may have also influenced Harumi's beliefs; Her adopted parents being merely symbolic may have been a source of frustration, as like many kids, she'd buy into the fantasy of the noble king who has the divine right and can be trusted to handle everything. So experiencing the ineffectual, performative reality this role has become would've enraged Harumi.

Both the ninja AND the Emperor/Empress have failed her; Now what? Harumi isn't simply short-sighted revenge like Aspheera is, she actually IS ideological, now that I think about it. She has actual goals, a continuous endgame for how society should function afterwards. Harumi hates the ninja because they're so close and yet so far, they ARE in that position to end it all, but they just won't go far enough yet! She's like those people who get really salty over why Batman won't kill the Joker or anyone else, except this all real life stuff with real life ramifications.

Harumi is toxic, she's codependent, she latches onto people in the most unhealthy way, as we see with Lloyd. She's a worshipper who needs a God to follow, someone to tell Harumi what to do and how to live her life; Because she's still that scared child who lost her parents before she could grow independent of them, and needs someone else to provide that same sense of security.

Harumi does care about people in a twisted, misguided way; She helps that girl and her parents whom she finds uncomfortably familiar. But conceptually, I think it does make sense that in Crystalized, Harumi continues to latch onto someone like the Overlord, and continues to resort to these extreme measures for safety. She might let go of the rage, but Harumi is still scared and desperate for a way to resolve the strife and conflict perfectly, which is where the Overlord steps in.

Her actual arc, in practice, could've been handled better though; In particular, it'd have been nice to see Harumi realize that the very idea of worshipping an idol, even a literal god like the Overlord, is doomed to fail, and it's not just a matter of needing the right person in the position for it. The system itself is inherently broken; The dictatorship, the blind worship. There is no perfect solution/ending, Harumi's just gonna have to keep fighting and accept her fear. So in addition to realizing the Overlord doesn't fit the role either, Harumi realizes the role itself shouldn't exist either.

[yupuffin]

Okay, so, a few times now I've seen people make anti-censorship arguments under the premise that "it's impossible to get traumatized by fiction," and... I just wanna deconstruct this and explain why you can still argue against censorship without invalidating people's experiences and making demeaning comments about something you think must never happen just because it sounds too ridiculous and outlandish to you.

TL;DR "People can be traumatized by fiction" and "censorship is bad" are statements that can and should coexist. In fact, contrary to what people seem to be asserting, the potential for fictional media to evoke strong and potentially traumatic emotional responses is all the more reason to argue against censorship. Here's why.

First off... "fiction doesn't traumatize people" is just. a factually incorrect argument. It doesn't always -- you could probably even say it only does very rarely -- but that doesn't mean it never does. Just like how people can experience potentially traumatic events and not develop lasting trauma from them.

Proof: It happened to me. I've had recurring nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation, subject avoidance, and more in direct connection with a fictional work -- not any real events -- I experienced thirteen years ago now. These are all clear symptoms of PTSD as defined by the DSM-5. [1] If anyone has an alternate explanation for this situation that makes logical sense, I would love to hear it. Fielding skepticism and degrading comments about my experience just because it sounds ridiculous to other people, aside from being just plain upsetting, establishes a stigma that makes it difficult to recover and seek treatment, because why would I go through the mortifying ordeal of discussing my traumatic experience in excruciating detail, only for someone to tell me "Oh, that's not a real thing?"

(By the way... not only does telling someone their trauma doesn't exist not magically make the symptoms go away -- it can also actively make it worse. [2]) And here's the thing: When you stop to think about it, being traumatized by fiction isn't as impossible as it sounds. Sometimes the human brain can differentiate reality from fiction, but sometimes it can't -- it's subjective and highly depends on the specific situation. For example, it's been scientifically established since at least 2006 that people reliably learn to consciously distinguish reality from fantasy starting between the ages of 3 and 5. [3] (This is why pro-censorship arguments are not logically sound to begin with; they're based on the assertion that people's interests, tastes and motivations in fiction necessarily match those in real life, which is just plain proven untrue.) However, this doesn't mean fiction and reality are entirely separate; it's also established that consuming fiction is an active process that engages people's emotions such that the same regions of the brain are stimulated as if the situation occurred in reality. [4] These ostensibly orthogonal states indeed coexist, and have been extensively studied as what is called the "paradox of fiction." [5] So, then, why wouldn't fiction be able to traumatize people? The only argument I've seen for this is that is a vague and incredibly dismissive "it just doesn't happen" -- and you can't logically prove an absolute like that. In fact, it only takes a single example to disprove it (hi! that's me!).

But here's the thing. Just because fiction can traumatize people doesn't mean we should make certain kinds of fiction not exist. Censorship is still bad. (For example, the notorious Hays Code, while being harmful in a great many other ways, in an effort to prevent pro-Nazi films from being produced, established guidelines that actually prevented anti-Nazi films from being produced, too. [6])

Avoiding the portrayal of something in fiction, as it turns out, is not at all an effective way to make that thing, or the trauma surrounding it, not exist. Censorship is not the solution. It actually makes it worse -- because fiction is also an established tool for emotional education (as cited above). The actual solution to "people being traumatized by fiction" is the facilitation and propagation of productive discussions surrounding potentially traumatizing topics and the emotions they evoke; early intervention and mutual engagement, not avoidance, is scientifically shown to treat and prevent PTSD and acute stress. [7],[8]

Therefore, "fiction traumatizes people" is actually an anti-censorship argument. Utilizing it as a pro-censorship argument, or even just rhetorically establishing it as one for the sake of invalidating people's lived experiences, is just plain factually incorrect. Also, obligatory reminder again that trauma is not a dick-measuring contest. "Fiction traumatizes people" and "reality traumatizes people" can both be true. Neither necessarily invalidates or minimizes the other. Just because someone else "had it worse" doesn't mean another's person trauma doesn't exist. Why do I even have to say this part?

Anyway, that's it. Be kind. Fight censorship.

[sasorikigai]

Hands are gonna caress over Hanzo's cheeks, smoothing towards his hair, feeling the fullness of it. Olivia hums, smiling sweetly at her darling commander, pressing chaste kisses against his lips and skin. "I think ya need a hair cut." She playfully ruffles his hair. "Or you might be able to rock a manbun." Liv @ Hanzo in modern verse just BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM

Random Inbox Shenanigans || @somniaxperdita || always accepting!

💥 || The endless void, that's what it feels like to endure trauma and survive through the hardships of his profession. It seems endless - if the fall itself doesn't kill him, the looming danger waiting below sure will. Uncertainty isn't something Hanzo fears, yet sometimes it eats him from the inside out and breaks him, slowly and surely. It is just another game for time, the one where it doesn't matter if the luck of the coin lands on his side. Even after years of losing Harumi, her absence has carved a greater hollow in his heart and soul. Concurrently, he feels how ungrateful and selfish he'd become through this reverie - after all, Olivia was the one who understood him the most, whether in comfortable silence or through his expressive emotions as his heart tends to bleed. Old and new coalesce, yet the old things do still ensnare with the promise of an answer. Like some forgotten chord will ring true, burning bright with meaning Hanzo could not figure out in the present.

Hanzo's mission, should he choose to accept it, would be to find peace with exactly who and what he is. To take pride in his actions and thoughts, his appearance, his talents, his flaws, and to stop this incessant unfurling thought that he cannot be loved as he is. There had been too much death, too much illness, and too many tears for him to endure, and yet - Hanzo always built the stronghold of humanity's substance.

Harboring summer stars in his eyes, as the tender weight of Olivia's fingers travel upward to encase him in the familiar warmth. How such affectionate gesture lights candles in his chest - alight with a fire that ignites in constant. Nothing remains long enough, the pensive broodiness that hollows him. Olivia nullifies this empty space, this expanding sense invalidating the place in his life. How a succession of peppered kisses alight his wants, desires, and hopes. Reminds him he is not alone in this battle and she will always be there to keep him steady and not lost.

"Sometimes a construct of time seem to be entirely lost in my grasp," a quiet unveiling of his amber eyes reveal the dualism of tenderness and passion. "Since I am not abided by the hair restrictions in the force anymore, I just might let it grow out." A crinkle of his smile broadens as his head tilts towards her direction; with her slightly hovering above him, how Hanzo feels their breaths ebb and flow in the shared atmosphere. This alone breaks him from the pre-dawn stillness as his ruddy, healthy complexion beams with content. "I believe I am more than handsome enough to present myself with any hair style, really." 💥 ||

[lieslab]

smartass minho should get a whole other fandom-

anyways i was like upset today bc i keep on seeing things comparing each stray kids trauma? like tf? people are saying things like how ‘seungmin shouldn’t be crying in the new two kids room, he didn’t have as many hardships as chan’ or ‘felix is weak and pathetic for how he acts, he’s never had hate or struggled with mental illness’ and it’s so mean bc like js because some members (han and chan more) have shared their struggles doesn’t mean the others are perfect and never deal with anything.

thanks for listening to my ted talk! 🍌

I love writing smartass Minho because writing smartass Minho is just writing my words and what I'd say if I was being a smartass (it is sometimes a fun pastime for me irl) Now what side of the fandom are you on and where are you at? 🤨 People are entitled to their own opinions, but that's loser energy. Sitting and picking apart someone's trauma, using it to talk negatively about them, when you've never experienced it is insane.

I'm going to get a AK-47 😃👍 Get behind me Skz. I'm kidding (maybe) Seriously though, the k-pop industry is so difficult to get into. Being a trainee is hard. He had a right to cry. 'he didn't have as many hardships as Chan.' Yeah, maybe he didn't have to carry the weight of being a leader, but you can still sympathize with him.

He likely had to deal with the responsibilities of being put together and doing everything right because if he screwed up a minor thing, everyone was already so stressed and tense, he probably assumed they'd be upset with him. They were in trainee mode for months, doing everything they could to debut. It'd be like boot camp for the goddamn military. People are allowed to cry when they're frustrated, upset, and stressed. I do it all the time and it doesn't make me any less of a person.

Felix is not weak and pathetic and quite frankly, I'm offended on his behalf. BECAUSE HE CRIES? God forbid someone feel things so much in their heart, they get a little teary-eyed. Felix very clearly struggled with some sort of eating disorder and don't get me started on people calling him Cutlix due to old self-harm scars.

It seems like a lot of people love to create problems where there are none. I hate the whole concept of people aligning people's traumas side-by-side and going 'well this one was worse' or 'no this one was worse.' Why the fuck are you doing that?

Trauma is trauma. Whether society views it as big, or small, that shouldn't matter. Society is dumb. It's stupid and listening to the warbles of society will make you miserable. Trauma is trauma. It is allowed to make you cry, make you hurt, etc. It's not a competition and it never will be.

Sitting behind a screen and invalidating someone's experiences because you never experienced it first-hand is crazy. Just because you might have handled something differently, it doesn't mean you're better than someone. In fact, it makes you an asshole and it makes you sound like an incredibly insecure person.

People's experiences, personal views, and so much more shape who we are as human beings. We live in a society where everyone feels like they have to comment and have an opinion on everything and they HAVE to voice their opinions on it. Social media has really amplified that.

Really as much as it sucks, it's kinda just best to ignore it because when you start commenting, it just enrages you and then they get mad, and it creates anger that's just not worth it. Even writing this, I feel defensive and whatnot 😭 Some people don't know how to sympathize and empathize with people. I don't understand it and I refuse to try and understand it.

You can have opinions and you can internally think you might have handled things differently. You can react to certain things however you want, but people don't have to slather public comment sections with such things. Some people are content with making insane comments and I don't know how they do it.

Sometimes some people are not worth trying to figure out. There are plenty of spaces out there with people that have been reacting really sweetly to the content we were given. Hang out there. There's no need to waste your energy with people that aren't on the same page.

If anything, in my humble opinion, I'm actually really glad Seungmin felt comfortable enough and vulnerable enough to be filmed that way and have it posted. All those memories and that deep conversation probably struck things he had been holding back for a while. A lot of k-pop idols are so well polished and forced to act certain ways, so to see someone you admire feel emotional, it feels like a breath of fresh air.

The way Chan comforted him was super sweet. I hope they can all make music for a long, long time. Their team bond, the brotherhood they've all created together, that found family vibe, that's so special. I'm so happy they have each other and they can exist together in a family dynamic. Ah, I love them. I feel grateful for the content, the vulnerability, the passion, the art, and all of it.

I feel like I should be thanking them for reminding us that despite hardships, we can conquer and overcome, dreams can come true. It might take a while, it might not be right away, but it can still happen. We might have setbacks, things might feel a bit lackluster and depressing, but with the people we love, encouragement, and a lot of support, we can bounce back and prevail.

That's what Stray Kids is to me and I will cherish it for as long as I can

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi, I'm a system and have mutliple other disorders. All "cis" if you will. I'm not here to shame anyone but I would genuinely like to know how this makes sense to you? I want to know your persepctive because I don't understand and maybe I can get some more insight from someone else. I feel invalidated when people talk about endogenic and "transsystems" because my disorder is not an aesthetic and I had to go through so much trauma that turned me into who I am today and not in a good way. It's painful and it hurts when I see people making fun of my experience by saying they've acquired their system "naturally" even though that's not how the disorder works (By "making fun of" I mean that's how it feels). It also feels transphobic to hijack trans wording such as "cis" and "trans" even though disorders are different to gender. Gender is a social construct and disorders are just not. They can't go away, they can't change. I can never get my childhood back and I struggle to be able to be myself with my Autism and ADHD, I find it hard to keep relationships from the immense anxiety I've gotten from my CPTSD symptoms and the chronic mistrust I've had to develop to survive. I guess I just want to ask why? Why you believe in these things? It's not that I hate you, I don't, I genuinely want to understand because currently I feel hurt, and upset, and made fun of in a way I've never felt before and I just want to know the logic and reasoning behind this kind of stuff before I make a judgement.

This is an old post, so it's entirely possible you've already made up your mind on these issue now. But either way, I decided I might as well answer now

Personally, I feel these are different subjects.

First...

Disorders Are a Social Construct

Not in the same way as gender or race, mind you.

Rather, disorders are bureaucratic labels tacked onto symptoms. These symptoms may or may not actually be related.

We live in a universe with DID and OSDD-1 are considered separate disorders. But it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe in another universe, they would be the same disorder.

Or, maybe in one universe, DID wouldn't exist and OSDD-1a and 1b would be two separate disorders, with DID just being the comorbidity between these two things.

Maybe your ADHD would actually be branded as a type of autism, or autism could still be considered a classification of Schizophrenia. Many psychiatrists actually dislike the disorder model, and would prefer focusing on individual symptoms instead.

Also, some disorders can go away, and some disorders can change. Well, the diagnosis will still remain, but that's more another matter of the bureaucracy. If you're depressed for two weeks, you get a diagnosis. Then the symptoms can go away for 30 years, but you'll retain that diagnosis forever.

I Think You Can Experience Dysphoria For Anything

The reason I feel how I do on transX identities is because I've seen people in the plural community with memories of living completely different lives. People who feel uncomfortable with every aspect of the body they inhabit.

I've personally felt inadequate for lacking the intelligence and education of my source.

I know some who feel phantom limb-like experiences relating to parts they never had like wings and tails.

And psychologists have acknowledged and researched BIID, where people will feel like they should have a certain physical condition.

And so I totally believe it's possible to have dysphoria for anything, including mental conditions you don't have. It doesn't make rational sense why someone would want certain conditions, but the brain rarely makes rational sense and it would be a mistake to assume it needs to.

Endogenic Systems Are Different

I don't believe endogenic systems are a result of or related to dysphoria at all, outside of transplurals.

I believe endogenic plurality is a naturally occurring condition. We can see this in the ease of which people are able to divide themselves into parts in Internal Family Systems. The autonomy of imaginary friends as children. And the fact that many unrelated cultures around the world have reported nonpathological spiritual possession through history.

Most endogenic plurality isn't people who feel like they need to be plural or feel dysphoric for being a singlet. It's just a different experience that's been largely ignored by psychology until the past decade.

I've been collecting studies on these various phenomena here:

Personally, I find the imaginary friend studies most interesting. In the past, it was assumed that imaginary friends were purely controlled by the child hosts, but more evidence keeps stacking up showing that this isn't the case and that these are natural fully autonomous agents.

These experiences have been ignored by psychiatry for a long time because they just weren't pathological, and they were hidden enough that psychiatry could dismiss them as just pretend or fake.

[eyesanddragons]

Rambling incoming. People often remember the book 10 vase scene & the epilogue as poorly written (and they are), but I'd argue that what happens after the vase scene is just as badly written, if not worse.

Being told that Darkstalker not only brainwashed one of her friends, but also attempted to kill off his entire tribe with a plague, should have been the final straw for Moon. She had already experienced a SEVERE breach in trust with Darkstalker before he even emerged from the mountain, so much so that it put her into tears (end of book 8). She should have immediately realized that trying to redeem Darkstalker would necessarily put the lives of her friends, Winter's tribe, and the world at risk, as long as he still had his powers. She should have immediately started focusing on how to neutralize DS as soon as possible. Maybe neutralize him in a way where she can safely try to redeem him without gambling the world on it, but not if it requires the sacrifice of her friend's safety. She should have redirected her empathy towards the friends she KNOWS she can trust. This does not happen. Instead, she throws herself a pity-party, like she is the real victim in all of this. She stubbornly insists that he can still be redeemed much to the dismay of Winter and the questioning of Qibli, and then puts the entire world at risk by betting on him willingly eating the strawberry to find redemption. It is ONLY through the serendipitous hubris of Darkstalker that he is defeated. Yet the books do not hold Moon to task on ANY of this completely blind and genuinely selfish crusade of hers. No, it's everyone else's fault for not believing in her.

A few short pages after the vase scene, Moon outright channels suburban mom energy out of nowhere, infantilizes Winter as if he is a toddler throwing a temper tantrum over spilt milk, and basically tells him to go to his room. All because he was upset that, after being told that DS nearly wiped out the IceWings and brainwashed one of her closest friends, she wanted to go talk to the culprit. She refuses to explain why and doesn't even try to understand why Winter is so upset. Yet she calmly explains her reasons to Qibli on the very next page. This scene alone made me almost quit WoF entirely because it straight-up invalidates Winter's trauma while, somehow, framing him as the unreasonable one.

After their conversation with Darkstalker, they realize they have to tell Winter that Queen Glacier, his aunt whom he genuinely cared about and valued so much that he made it a cornerstone of his identity early in the arc, has been killed by Darkstalker's plague. So, since they are such good friends they would feel genuine empathy and sorrow for him, right? Dreading the task of telling him because it will be a genuinely difficult thing to do, to tell a close friend that a loved one of theirs died? Lmao nope. Instead, all Qibli and Moon are worried about is that he might yell at them. Moon's only response to Qibli's worry is "I've heard worse in his head." Not "he's allowed to mourn," or "he's been through a lot recently, cut him some slack." Imagine if your friends, behind your back, learned of your loved ones passing and went "Oh god, alright let's draw straws on who has to tell this guy."

The 2nd half of book 10 is, to this day, probably some of the worst, most mean-spirited writing I've ever seen in... anything really. It systematically destroyed the found family to resolve a love triangle that nobody wanted, because letting Moon and Qilbi just choose each other was apparently *not* an option.

The Vase scene and how the character's react and treat Winter in the 2nd half of Book 10 is one of the reasons why it's my least favorite WoF book. It really is unnecessarily mean spirited. Though I do wanna touch a bit on what you say here. Specifically about Moon since I think her actions her could of actually been handled in an interesting and impactful way.

This isn't to defend the Vase scene or anything...it's really bad and honestly I think it's worse with this context. I just wanna mention this since I think Moon is a really under-utilized character.

Moon's in a horrifically toxic friendship with Darkstalker, he repeatedly makes Moon feel responsible for his actions, he isolates her from her friends, he constantly pleads with her to stay with him because it'll make him better or make him stop acting horrible. It's notable that Moon is the only one Darkstalker didn't enchant because her Behavior is like someone who was enchanted. Darkstalker doesn't need to enchant Moon, he's already got his grubby in her 13 or so year old mind. Moonwatcher also has a surprisingly black-and-white worldview. Moonwatcher sorts thoughts into bad and good and judges people by them. Darkstalker exploited this by showing Moon all the good things he wants and all the good things he thinks.

If we get rid of all the magic from Darkstalker for a second what we have is a horror story where a much older teenager is manipulating a much younger one to Stay With Them so that They don't Kill Anyone. This is Deeply Horrifying and I'm not even going to touch on how he compares her to Clearsight because it becomes even creepier and I don't want to talk about stuff like that at the moment.

This is why I hate the vase scene even more! Because if we divorce it from the rest of book 10 for a bit it's actually a deeply fucking terrifying scene where Moonwatcher's sense of self is so reliant on Fixing Darkstalker that the idea of him doing something so horrible is something she can't accept because if she Does that means she's at fault.

Plus part of the worry in the vase scene is coming from how Moonwatcher trusts Darkstalker still, and how Darkstalker can read her mind. Winter is putting Moon at risk by telling her this. Could you imagine if Darkstalker Did decide to do something to Moon because of what Winter did? Moon is being put in danger by that information.

Of course we live in a world where book 10 sucks and Moonwatcher is barely a character outside of the love triangle so we don't get that. Moonwatcher's personality changes depending on what the love triangle needs to continue. The clearest example of this is Moon Wanting to Abandon waiting for Winter in Escaping Peril when SHE'S the one who wanted to wait for him in the first place!

I think one of my major problems with Book 10 is that, due to the romance plot, a lot of characters feel like there being given a script by Tui herself for the plot to go like this. So, as you mentioned, instead of acting like concerned friends who just learned that there friend's aunt was practically murdered, Qibli and Moon act really dismissive and even cruel. Complaining about being yelled at rather than the fact that Winter's Aunt is Dead. However this scene is supposed to push the romance further, to show how Winter is less attractive to Moon compared to Qibli.

Now, again, really fucked up to use his aunt's death as the backdrop here, but it is the purpose of the scene. This book is so meanspirited and horrible I Hate it god I hate Book 10-

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Looking for: validation? Reassurance?

Tw for ment of rape and me too outings

My friend outed her rapist on TikTok and FB messages to people was she wrong for that? Someone said she just wants attention, someone else said she’s a liar, someone else said shes going overboard bc she’s just spiteful, and then a lot of people also supported her. Can you tell her she wasn’t wrong for it and plenty of people have done this via social media and it’s honestly okay to do in my mind. I mean she had proof of her abuse so it’s def okay.

Hi anon,

Survivors should be allowed to hold their abusers accountable if that is what they feel is right. Unfortunately it's a needlessly terrifying choice to publicly hold our abusers accountable because society is not equipped to treat their allegations with the respect they deserve, and often perpetuate victim blaming and rape culture. There will always be people claiming that a survivor is lying, attention-seeking, or spiteful. But that doesn't change the truth.

It's also worth talking about this idea of having proof. Not every survivor has evidence, but they should still be believed too. Just because it's unfounded doesn't mean it's untrue. It's also exhausting for survivors to not only endure their trauma, but have to prove it in order to be believed. False allegations are just as uncommon as for other crimes and it's unfair to invalidate real survivors because of the off chance that they're "making it up".

If anyone else has any thoughts or comments, feel free to respectfully chime in. Otherwise, please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[mossymossman]

The way I remember my young childhood was one of isolation. I remember feeling different, struggling to connect with others, and feeling alone.

Whenever I talk about this, my Mother likes to point out how kids would say hi to me in the halls; She mentions that I never noticed them, to stuck in my own head.

But my Mother's anecdotes don't change the fact that I don't remember that. My mother's memories are not my reality. Despite what happened I still felt alone and I still feel those effects today.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that other people's (possibly) contradictory memories of your trauma doesn't mean that your current feelings aren't valid. of course that doesn't mean you should ignore other people's memories. We have a very strong negativity bias after all. My mother's memories have helped me in some ways. But they don't mean that my experience of isolation is invalid.

[buckyalpine]

Tw

Hi sweet dolcezza (that is Italian and means sweetness so sweet sweetness :) )

Hope you are doing well, I want to thank you again for your beautiful blog and wonderful works.

I am reading the last things you posted, beautiful as always!

Since I live for the drama, the sadness, the darkness...

I was thinking about how a broken boy with traumas, Bucky 🫢, would react about his girlfriend having mental health problem.

Maybe she has been developing them...

She wasn't always like that, she lost her sparkle and he doesn't know her like this, he sees another person, another woman, another human.

He can't understand and is confused, maybe mad.

On one side I think about him being supportive, on the other I think about him being disrespectful and invalidating, like he had lived major traumas but, he says "he is not complaining so much about it or playing the victim" like her.

-I had this hint because my mental health is not good, I have severe OCD, since I was a kid basically I remember being this way since the age of five four. I am struggling with ed and borderline personality disorder.

And I had partners that, even if they lived traumas, still invalidated mine a lot and called me names, so the were basically toxic.-

And i can't picture where Bucky could fall. Toxic? Supportive?

I love him, but sometimes he acts shady and not always I can read him.

I see him dark most of the time.

But they can always repair the relationship and be together or not?

(I am problematic with toxic guys ahahahaha)

Sorry for this and my life story, noone asked about buy still. I just think you are the best person to write something as deep.

I really hope you are doing good and enjoying your day so far.

A lot of kisses and hugs and support.

🌺

18+

Babes we are one in the same with toxic men. I like to think there's the version of Bucky who has so much love and empathy for others going through mental health struggles and then there’s the Bucky who loves you but doesn’t know how to process things and acts impulsively. Here, we look at the second. 

Warnings: Angst, Mental health issues, some toxic behavior, (happy ending, they learn to fix things)

Disclaimer: Some of the stuff in this fic are things I/others have gone though so please refrain from comments about why the reader stayed or what the reader should have done or how the story should have gone. Sometimes I get super sucked into the angsty parts and struggle to undo the damage so don’t read too much into it. 

I imagine it starts off bad because Bucky's still learning to deal with his own mental health and there are times where he can be selfish without meaning to. He's so used to having you comfort and take care of him, he doesn't know what to do when you start to change. He’s been through so much, he can’t imagine someone else feeling his level of anguish.

You’re no longer the same person he fell in love with. Your sparkle is gone. A grey dullness encasing you. He doesn’t know when things changed or why but he just wants you back; the distance between you both gets worse with each passing day. You try your best to still be there for him because you know he needs it; you love him with all your heart even when your own feels heavy. 

"Baby, are you okay?" 

"I’m fine"

Bucky practically scoffs when you ask him how he’s doing because you should know he’s never fine. He’s never okay. He doesn't know why you bother asking him when its the same shit he deals with on a daily basis. 

You can't bring yourself to tell him how you're feeling because you know he doesn't have the capacity to help you when he's struggling himself. He shrugs, not knowing what else to say, letting you wallow in your misery, taking his frustrations out during his workouts instead. Things continue to worsen; you fall deeper in your spiral while Bucky continues to shut you not, realizing it’s you who needs him. 

“Can we talk?”

You’re desperate at this point, hoping maybe he’ll at least listen but he shakes his head instead. Bucky can’t stop the bitterness that starts to rise in his chest; he missed his ma, his sisters. His missed living in a world where he understood the things around him, where he didn’t have to feel like a lost toddler every time he stepped outside. His feelings have nothing to do with you, he really does love you but all the bitterness spills onto the one person who is always there for him. 

“What’s the point y/n” 

“I-I just feel...” You shrug, not knowing how to tell Bucky of all people that you felt empty. 

“What do you feel. I don’t know what you even complain for” 

“I feel like I have no one Bucky” You felt your stomach drop when his eyes bore into you, as if he's challenging your feelings. 

“You still have your cousins, other family, friends. You complain so much but you’re so spoiled. I’m going through shit too, but you don’t see me acting like a victim”

You swallow the anger that tries to rise, trying to understand his point of view. It all comes to a boiling point because you're trying your hardest to hold it together while he doesn’t see your spiral break down.  You felt your heart splinter; after every time you had held him, loved him, cared for him, he looked at you with emptiness. 

“Bucky, I know you’re going through things-

“Things? You think I can just turn this fucking shit off y/n? I’m not fucking normal, and you’ll never fucking get it. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you, I’ll stay at Steve’s tonight”

He makes his way to the door and you know you can’t be alone tonight, there’s too much going on inside.

“Please don’t” your voice is a plea, your practically begging at this point. You can feel your throat tighten because you feel selfish for struggling when he’s been through so much worse.

“Bucky please stay” you trail behind him, your knees shaking. You try to tug at his wrist but he doesn’t let you. When you finally try to cling onto his arm, his composure breaks. 

“GET OFF ME” he pulls out of your grasp, sending you stumbling back. He’s usually mindful of his strength but he doesn’t think and you lose your balance, ending up on the floor. He freezes in utter disbelief with himself, he’d never in a million years even try to hurt you. 

“Fuck, baby I’m so so-”

“Don’t”

Your eyes are now stone cold, your voice was low. He tries to help you up but you scramble away from him, adding distance between you both.  He takes a step forward again but something isn’t right, he finally sees how broken you look. 

“Y/n….”

“GET OUT”

Your voice tore through the walls and his eyes are wide with fear because he's never seen you so broken. He’s never heard you raise your voice like this; you’d always spoken to him softly. He’s scared because he didn’t mean to push you to your breaking point and he doesn’t know how to take it back. 

"I-"

“GET THE FUCK OUT” 

You pick yourself off the floor, your heart beating through your chest. You practically see red, after everything you had done for him, he called you selfish; you sat through every one of his panic attacks, his depressed days, his nightmares. He couldn't listen to you for one night. 

"You fucking piece of shit"

You angrily tried to wipe your face, moving away from him to pack a bag, not wanting to be near him for a minute longer. You go straight to your room while he runs after you, panic rising, he wants to cry but he can’t, not right now. 

“Doll I’m sorry-

“I don’t care” You rummage through some of your belongings, feeling yourself go numb. You felt like your mind didn’t even belong to you anymore, your body moving in autopilot. Bucky hates the vacant look on your face, he wants to hold you and tell you he’s sorry. He tries to wrap his arms around you, not knowing what else to do but you shove him away, shaking your head.

“Don’t-don’t touch me, don’t ever fucking touch me again”

He watches helplessly when you rip yourself away, shoving a few things into your duffle bag, not meeting his eyes. 

"I-I don't fucking love you, I-I'm d-d-one with you"

“Baby please don’t go” 

“Oh, so when you beg, I have to stay?” You scoff, letting out a humorless laugh “Fuck off”

He’s terrified now because while your movements are robotic, your body is shaking and you don’t even seem to notice. Bucky hates seeing you trembling; you’re about to leave the room and walk out but he stops you. 

“Bucky, move” You suck in a breath, your nails digging into your hands, but he stays rooted in place. 

“No bubba”

“Don’t call me that” Your voice trembles, another surge of anger flowing through you when he tries to reach out for you. “I SAID DON’T TOCUH ME”

He pulls you to his chest and you try to rip yourself free but he doesn’t let you go. 

“LET GO”

Bucky shakes his head, hugging you tighter, his tears dampening your hair. The screams and wails ripping from your chest burn his insides, you desperately try to escape but he cradles you closer. 

“M’sorry”

“L-let me g-o”

“M’sorry baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He doesn’t care that your hitting his chest, he doesn’t care that your hands keep striking him. He can feel your body give way, your breaths uneven, months of pain spilling out all at once. He hugs you tighter like he should have done ages ago, realizing you needed him more than ever. Your body continues to fight but your angry screams turn into pained sobs. 

“I’m so sorry my babygirl” 

He carefully carries you to the bed where he can hold you in his lap. He tries to think of what you do for him, warming your body, rubbing his hands along your back and arms. He feels awful because you always take such good care of him and he was grasping at straws trying to do the same for you. You deserved so much more. 

“Shhhh” His lips brush against your forehead, one hand gently rubbing your chest while the other continues to soothe your back so he can regulate your breathing. “Slowly baby, breathe with me, okay?” 

You say nothing, but you try to follow his breaths, letting him take care of you. He continues to tell you how much he loves and cares for you, how sorry is he for hurting you. Exhaustion takes over and you allow yourself to fall asleep with him. A part of you is still angry but your too weak to move and you need to be held.  

You wake up in the middle of the night feeling his chest tremble against you. His soft sniffles are muffled as he tries to keep his cries down while cuddling you close. 

“Bucky?” You lift your head to see his broken expression. 

“I’m s-sorry” He chokes out, breaking down. He feels selfish again because he should be the one comforting you but he was angry with himself. “I-I can’t believe I hurt you angel” 

You move up so you can wipe some of his tears, his face puffy having cried for hours through the night. 

“I just needed you” You gently your fingers through his hair trying to calm him down. 

“I-I said shit I never should have said baby, I’m sorry. M’sorry sweet girl” 

“Why did you say those things” you whisper, your voice still hoarse.

“I’m so sorry angel, I- there’s not excuse, I’m sorry I was so selfish doll”

You nod, still feeling drained though a part of you feels better. You hadn’t fully forgiven him yet but you knew he meant every word plus there was no one else in the world you loved as much as him. He thinks about the way he mistreated you, realizing he really didn’t deserve your forgiveness at all. Your words replay in his head and his breaths become shallow. 

“Do-do you not love me anymore?” His voice is a broken whisper. You knew you didn’t mean it. The thought nearly kills him. He would have gone through hydra again over ever losing your love. Your thumb brushes over his lips silencing him. 

“Please don’t say you don’t love me”  He nuzzles himself further into your side, hugging you tightly, his voice a whimper. “Please, I’m sorry” 

“I was just angry Bucky. I love you” He calms down slightly but hes still on edge with himself. He wants to do better. He wants to take care of you. You had been there through everything for him and you deserved the same love a thousand times over. 

“I promise I’ll try harder angel” 

He stays true to his word. 

It doesn’t resolve overnight.

But he learns. And so do you.

He’s patient with you. He gives you endless love. He has his own hard days, and so do you but your by each others side through it all. He sees your sparkle return brighter than ever, 

Because he really does love you. 

Tags:

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[mable-stitchpunk]

"Not even to mention the weird takes TFC takes with Charlie and her relationship with HER father. It's... unintentional, I think, but eugh."

What are some of the issues there?

Oh ho, ho, ho. Here we go. I've been waiting for someone to ask me. XD

So, The Silver Eyes establishes that Charlie does miss her father and is in mourning over his death still, but shows no sign of like an intense fixation. Her thinking about him while being in the house and investigating Freddy's does make sense, as she is directly dealing with that past trauma. Though TFC ups the ante in some... uncomfortable ways.

First of all, Charlie's entire character becomes a fixture of her father. What does that mean? Well, in Baby's info dump about Charlie's creation at the end of TFC, she enforces a few things.

Charlie is created through Henry's pain and emotions. She is unconnected to the original girl and is strictly made through him. The book outright says that because Henry was having mixed feelings about third Charlie's creation, she turned out 'weird' or 'strange'.

This invalidates Charlie's entire character. I'll explain how.

Throughout the entire book, Baby- who is actually another Charlie, constantly degrades her. Referring to her as weird, scatterbrained, selfish, and most notably, as an angsty teen. This makes sense being the villain, but this isn't the only time this happens. In the Twisted Ones, other characters- including friends- refer to Charlie as weird. The story itself reinforces at various times that she is the problem.

But it is in this confirmation that Henry messed up on Charlie where 'weird' becomes what it's standing in for: wrong. Henry was doubtful, so Charlie came out busted. Her entire character, her drive, her curiosity, even her trauma, it's all a mistake because of Henry's feelings. Henry felt bad, and that's sympathetic; Charlie feels bad, it's weird. She didn't come out right. She's not normal.

I'll get back to this later, because there's something the graphic novel does specifically that makes this even more notable.

Next, let's discuss John. Because John and Charlie's relationship is very unsettling once you really think about it.

Now, I've expressed my feelings that John is a boring character, but that doesn't make his and Charlie's relationship problematic by any means. It just means their chemistry is boring. No big deal.

...Except, John looks exactly like her father.

But this isn't enough. TFC makes it so much worse.

Not only does John's character plot of him obsessing over Charlie directly mimic Henry's- which is introduced in the same book- but he becomes a surrogate caretaker for her in the book. In a book where she is now aged down compared to him, he coddles her.

Now, having someone with daddy issues look for a man like their father, or as a replacement to their father, isn't too uncommon. It's the fact that the book pretty much turns him into Henry in every conceivable way- to the point of even changing his clothes to DRESS like him- that is so uncomfortable.

Added with, again, Charlie's lack of agency in that book. In which we should get to my third point.

The infantilization of Charlie.

In the third book, Charlie is made weak in every regard. She pretty much has to be taken care of by John, the stand-in for Henry. That's rough enough, but about halfway through the book Charlie finds her father's jacket and starts to wear it.

Now, the novel doesn't really have any weird implications with this scene, if I recall. Its been a while, but I believe Charlie just switched jackets without much notable.

The graphic novel once again makes things extra weird.

It's, uh, a choice. Innocent enough on its own- out of character sorta- but with everything else. With Charlie having to be taken care of, useless, while the story moves around her.

And this is before the long segment where she's lectured about how stupid she is for thinking she's a real person. Doesn't she get it? Charlie's dead. She's just Henry's replacement for her.

Now, I've written regression and childish tendencies in characters. I won't say I'm an expert in any regard, but I can say that there is definitely a time and place for this, and oh God, this was a bad time.

The last thing I'll mention is absolutely graphic novel exclusive I think, because the end of TFC book is so vague that people weren't sure if Charlie turned up alive or if it was her mother.

Though I quote the graphic novel so readily because sometimes the graphic novels 'fix' book problems. Like how TTO fixed Charlie and John's extremely bizarre and 'weird' date to make it actually feel human. And, y'know, it cut the scene TFC ripped off of Saw.

In the graphic novel, Charlie returns. Having reclaimed her fourth body and becoming the Charlie she was meant to be.

The change in clothes was very much on purpose, and oh dear.

Normally, changing clothes is a sign of growth in a character. A sign they are changing their ways and moving into a new stage... but these clothes signify a rather questionable change.

Charlie adapted Baby's dressing style, leaving teenhood and accepting 'proper' adulthood. Sure, the dress is now purple, to signify that she has her 'kind' personality, but it's still Baby's dress. Signaling that she has given up being a 'sulky teen' and is now ready to fit into society as the woman who everyone embraced before it turned out she was Baby in disguise. She's even adapted heeled boots! She was the last girl to not wear heels 24-7, it was time for an upgrade.

She also now wears Henry's jacket permanently, showing that her dead father will now forever sit on her shoulders instead of her moving on from him. That is, she will have a permanent reminder of him and of her creation.

Maybe now she's closer to what Henry wanted her to be.

Again, all of this wouldn't be nearly as funky if it wasn't for the games which raise questions of their own, and Baby's unhealthy relationship with Afton. Charlie and Henry's relationship mimics theirs, but while it's framed as the healthier of the two, it's only healthier because Henry isn't actively abusing her.

Charlie has gone from being her own person discovering her father's legacy to a piece of Henry's legacy. And John gets his happy ending. Charlie with all the updates in place. Happily ever after.

But who knows. Maybe I'm reading too far into the... books. But that's my job. You can't write characters unless you know how to read them front, back, and center. Elsewise you might accidently make a very uncomfortable situation.

Or, you know, completely downgrade your main character. That too.

[every-dayiwakeup]

It's weird to me that this fandom criticizes a teenager for... being angry and sad that his father abuses him.

In what universe would anyone just... be okay with that.

It's not only unfair, it's horrible and it's inhumane treatment.

So yeah, Billy has a right to be angry. To react.

Abuse changes you. It ages you. You're constantly in survival mode, which can be so unlike your true self but you're in an awful position where you're constantly on edge. You always have to be ready for whatever comes your way.

It's nerve-wracking. You never know if or when your abuser's going to be in a good mood. No matter how much you watch their every move they still remain unpredictable.

To be treated like you're less than human gets to you. Whatever your reaction may be... you're not meant to be treated like you don't matter. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to react, even if you don't react the way others think you should. Even if your reaction doesn't come in a "universally acceptable" way, it doesn't mean anyone has the right to invalidate your trauma.

[symphonicsoul]

·:*¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨*:·. There's something about the way the smaller man practically wraps himself around him that is comforting in an odd sort of way. He's still himself but he's just compromised now. Compromised by trauma and other experiences outside of his control. Just like Valo's health was compromised and Revon's emotions were. Just like his eye sight was. They all were a little less of themselves than they were before Misterica fell but at the same time - they weren't. Compromised and complicated. This world changed them as they had to grow and evolve into whatever sort of beings it took to survive.

"You're fifty-three Sielu." The mathematician states plainly as if correcting his friend's inability to remember his own age would be a normal occurrence. "You're fifty-three, I'm fifty-six now and Valo is fifty-eight. Revon is sixty-five. It has been sixteen years since Misterica fell so that means if we do find the prince, he will be a grown man. He should be about thirty-three now."

And he has to say he's proud of this. Not Sielu's gapping memory but his willingness to attempt to open up a bit more. If the last thing he remembers is forty-four then the woman that had him... she for did so for nine years and honestly -even with his blindness- he can't imagine living under someone so oppressive for so long. It seems they're lucky that Sielu made it out alive.

Perhaps it's a blessing from the Celestial Mother after all, because Pilvi abandoning any one of them is still so hard to believe. Then again, it's hard to imagine that boy ever swinging the Holy Blade in the name of killing anyone - really at all but those wanted posters say otherwise.

Valo would insist that take perspective into consideration though. History is often written from the eyes of the victory and the oppressor he would say. He would insist that it was fully possible that whomever was responsible for those posters was inflating the truth. They needed to keep Sielu's words and perspective in their minds though and be careful not to invalidate what he's gone through.

This place is a strange world however. Would it be possible for someone else to masquerade as the prince? Were there beings that could twist their shape at will? At this point, the dawn considered anything possible.

His hand is moving to stroke over blue waves and there's voice in the back of his mind, happy and telling him he needed to thank Valo again for not neglecting the task. Even in the conditions of the places they're being forced to stay most days these days - the historian is careful to brush out wave colored locks nonetheless.

"And you don't have to live with conditions - no. Not even when we find the prince. I don't care if he is a grown man now. He doesn't get to dictate anything horrible and he better have a damn good explanation for this mess he's made. " There's a pause as he grins a little behind his mask. "Though I don't know if I've quite wrapped my brain around having to speak with Svaardzjetrorahm. What could that boy be thinking staying around such a person?"

He sighs as his fingers continue to softly work through cyan locks.

"It doesn't matter. The only thing we need to worry about right now is us."

He's got no clue what exactly he expects to happen from voicing any of his deepest fears or anything about Pilvi.

That subject always seems to turn as sour as his Mist, one way or another. He knows why, and really it's because he knows why that he's so terrified. If Pilvi hates him, surely the ones so loyal would follow, or so he's been told this whole time.

And then there's that issue. No one else seems to hear them, but the plants are as loud and clear as any person. On occasion, they're louder, and if he's the only one who hears them... surely then he's hallucinating.

Even given that logic, it's hard to ignore them when it's a near constant onslaught of things he's already worried about.

If he's even more honest with himself, these aren't even new feelings. They're ones he's held since childhood, but warped and reshaped into monsters he can't face as bravely as before.

He's always been an anxious mess underneath whatever he managed to convince himself of on Misterica. It's just that those outer protective layers are gone now, leaving everything that he kept to himself before exposed to the open to be relentlessly mauled by the seemingly-endless horrors that this place has to offer.

And the more he tries to put these insecurities underground, the worse they seem to gnaw at him. It leaves him no choice but to admit them, even if it all goes wrong again.

So he voices it. And he waits. And he's nearly holding his breath because this will either go horribly or it won't be so bad.

Briefly, he's left with a sense of longing for certainty. As much as he loves Aamunkoitto, he still wishes he could predict the man accurately.

Any prediction he could have ever made would have been wrong in this instance though, because the taller man starts by placing him at the same level as Valo.

Before he can even wrap his mind around that, Aamunkoitto is giving his nickname back to him, saying he's still so glittery and - he's not Pilvi. He is not a replacement for Pilvi.

He is not a replacement.

"I always want you around," he responds, and he's not sure if the tears in his eyes are new or if they've been there for several minutes, but they aren't unhappy. He's calm, at least. His pulse hasn't jumped and his breathing somehow hasn't gotten stuck.

"It's... just hard to understand that I can exist without... conditions. Because that sort of lie is almost all I heard for... hm."

He doesn't even know. He still hasn't asked. It isn't something he often thinks about, because as long as he's with the others now he doesn't care at all what day it is. Maybe he should give it some consideration, or... maybe he'll attempt lightheartedness again. That's what glitter pens do.

"... I swear this isn't just me being abysmally bad at math as usual, but... I have no clue how long. Last I was able to keep track of, I was forty-four, but I know that number isn't right. I guess that's what odd people who like math are for."