#Confidence vs. facade

[gdusil]

The Nietzseche herd who are embarrassed witnessing an outburst of human emotion represent the epitome of insecurity.

[lilianne-tarot]

⋆.˚PICK A CARD: "What Are They Really Feeling About You" ⋆.˚

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I. II. III.

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Hey there, loves! Welcome to another PAC reading on my blog page. I hope you all enjoy it! Comment down what you felt about the reading and if it resonated with you and please show some love, Your support means everything to me! <3

P.S: I tried to write this reading as a message from your desired person, but it ended up becoming a message from your partner (if you are in a relationship) or a situationship if you are in one.

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⋆✮ Pile I

Cards Pulled: 3 of pentacles, the hermit, knight off swords, 4 of cups, page of pentacles, Uranus, and oracle cards

This reading is soo adorable sjsdhhobxckvc😭😍

Bestie... this person is down bad for you. And the more calm and collected you are, The more it drives them wild (and confused 😭).They just want to figure you out. To meet you where you are. And maybe, just maybe... be enough for you.

Okay SO... you have probably met them during a major shift in your life like something big had just changed, could also be unexpected change, or you were stepping outside of your comfort zone. It could be things related to career stuff, work placements, school, college, internships, basically somewhere tied to your goals or a professional life where you were pushing yourself.

They see you as “THAT” person!!!!. Like seriously, they think you’re the epitome of structure, elegance, and unshakable composure, to them, you are the standard. I’ seeing that most of yall are introverts. About them, I’m also seeing that they’re obsessed with how serious you look when you're concentrating LOLL. 

This person, Oh honey, they are also soooo ambitious and determined in general, but when it comes to YOU, They’re reckless in the best way possible. Like “I don’t care if I make a-fool of myself, I just want to be yours” reckless (SOMEONE GIVE ME TISSUEEE). They view you as this beam of perfection, someone who always strives for the best and thrives in systems and routines, prolly a virgo. Meanwhile, they’re probably a little chaotic inside like, “How does this angel even function so perfectly all the time?”😭😭

But in reality, behind that facade of perfection, you stress yourself too much, right? cuz they notice it too. They notice that when things don’t go your way, you might panic a lot. And they’re like, “Wow... even their breakdowns are elegant.” LMAO I’m not even kidding.

On the bright side, they see you as someone above them in experience or confidence or maturity. There’s a real student/mentor, or junior/senior vibe here, not literally. They lowkey look up to you. Maybe they’re younger in age, or maybe they just feel way more inexperienced compared to your level. Also, this feels very much like a professional connection. There’s a respect, a formality, kind of dynamic. So again, work or college, or while you were doing your thing. 

Emotionally though, OH BABY. They are in their feelings. Deeply. Like they feel this soulmate-level connection with you. They feel this spiritual bond with you, like you complete them. BUT They also think you’re super introverted (even if you’re not!), and it throws them off. They're over here trying to pour their whole heart out, like "take it, it's yours!" Meanwhile you’re just sitting there like 🧍 “hmm okay but what does this mean?”  “Why won’t they just say they love me the way I want to hear it?” vs “Why are they saying so much at once I need to process???”

You might not realize it, but they feel like you're not as expressive or emotionally certain as they are. They want to you to express yourself to them, whatever you feel, but they feel like you're still calculating the water temperature 

Despite all this They hold you in very high regard. They don’t even think they’re worthy of your love tbh. They’re like “I could never meet those standards ”  and that’s where the self-doubt kicks in. But, they’re still ready to risk it all for you. Like, consequences be damned! This person is on a mission to build a bond with you, even if the odds feel stacked against them.

They’re rushing. Reckless. Emotional. And terrified. They want you RIGHT NOW. And the idea that you might not love them back the same way is Devastating ot them. And because of that, they try to match your vibe, mature, calm, composed, but inside they're EXPLODING. They think you’re so perfect, so ideal, that they’re trying everything to charm you. Like everything. Subtle flirting, random compliments, charming little jokes, they’re throwing it all at the wall to see what sticks.

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˙⋆✮ Pile II

Cards Pulled: 5 of pentacles, the hermit, 8 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, Gemini and oracle cards

I can already feel the heaviness of this connection.😭

Your person are not as emotionally invested anymore or at least, not in the same way. NOW don’t get me wrong here, cuz this DOESN’T mean they are loosing feelings. They are just in a phase where they are thinking “I need to move on for my own growth”. They’re kinda checked out emotionally, sure. And if they’re still in this relationship, they’re questioning whether it’s truly right for them, atleast at the moment.

What I’m getting is that they feel like this thing might not be working,  like it’s just not aligning anymore. They’re looking at it like: “This isn’t helping me grow. This might even be holding me back.” And so... they’re walking away. Not out of hatred. Not even out of anger. But out of emotional self-preservation. For their own sake. And the worst part is, you can’t even blame them for this. 

Right now, they’re turning to themselves. Focusing on themselves. Working on themself. They're in full-on Hermit mode. They’re putting effort into rebuilding their life, mostly about their career or goals in life. BUT what I'm seeing about you all is that y'all are feeling hella suspicious right now. Like, “Are they cheating on me? Is there something I don’t know? Why do I feel like something’s off?” And tbh... I don’t blame y'all for thinking that.

Because i can hear spirits telling me, "be cautious my dear, because not everything is what it seems". Gemini also popped up, It’s a sign that gets associated with duality, sometimes masking intentions, and yes, even lying at times. So it’s no surprise that you are overthinking mind is going crazy. You feel like something sneaky is going on behind the scenes. And the fact that this person is emotionally withdrawing only amplifies those fears.

BUT here's the thing...From what I’m picking up, I don’t think it’s about cheating. I think it’s about distance. Like... your person still likes you (well only for some of you tho). Maybe even still LOVES you.So they can’t just cut that cord so easily. They’re still longing to look into your eyes, for hours. They’re obsessed in a very soft way. But they also feel like time is slipping through their fingers. They’re standing at a crossroads like: “Do I follow this pull toward my future and personal success? Or do I stay in this connection that means so much to me emotionally but feels like it's hampering my success?” They’re not trying to hurt anyone, they’re just trying to figure out why their heart is being so dramatic. BUT your person is also strong-willed AF. When they want something, they go for it. They’re determined and fearless to get it. But now they’re in uncharted territory, because they’ve never felt this deeply before. Like... ever.

They see you as the GOAT. The greatest person they’ve ever known. 💖 They know this kind of connection doesn’t come around twice. But the problem is, they also know that if they stay too long without healing or clarity, it might sabotage their own future. Their dreams. Their growth. Their purpose. So they’re stuck in this mental tug-of-war: “I love them. I don’t want to lose them.” vs. “But what about my goals, my future, my expansion?” I’m also seeing, changes, disruption, and soul-searching across distance, beliefs, or even higher learning paths. This person is questioning everything. And they might even be considering leaving physically, traveling, moving, or shifting away to find clarity. 

They don’t hate you, my dear. They’re not trying to break your heart. That would be the last thing they would imagine. The fact is, actually, They’re just... overwhelmed. They’re scared they’ll get so attached that they’ll lose themselves. So instead of staying and drowning, they’re pulling back to breathe and figure out who they are again.

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˙⋆✮ Pile III

Cards Pulled: wheel of fortune, 9 of cups, The devil, death, the star, pieces, venus, and oracle cards

SO MANY MAJOR ARCANA CARDS IN ONE?!?!?!? That too, such big ones💀💀💀and the only minor arcana is also soo powerful and one of my favs. The order in which the cards were laid out is so dramatic and exciting!!!(*rubs hands aggressively*)

This pile is literally every synonym of love😭🥹 ( uhm...maybe obsession and some drama too) Before anything else i'll put it here, if you're unsure or wondering if this person likes you? THEY DO. THEY DO. THEY FCKN DO.

Words can’t even begin to express how intensely this person is feeling on the inside. Like... their emotions they are feeling because of you Are on another level. They feel this incredibly fated connection with you, one that’s deeply transformative, nurturing, and honestly, It feels like their biggest wish has come true. You’re that person for them. To the point where they literally can’t control themselves. There’s this obsessive, magnetic undercurrent to it all, and yes, sexual tension is very much in the room with us right now 🫠. They’re like, “Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I stop thinking about them??” But they can’t even find the words. The connection is hitting so hard, it’s beyond logic. It’s just feeling.

This is giving BIG Venus-in-Water-signs energy. Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces vibes all over. Either you or them (or both) probably have strong water energy in your chart, or you just feel like a water sign, super deep, intuitive, romantic, and soft but intense at the same time. They feel like you’re the one nurturing them. And this connection is unlike anything they’ve ever experienced before. It’s the kind of emotional attraction that feels so healing, but also terrifying. Like... “this is so good it has to be bad, right??”  (but they want it anyway). They literally can’t stop thinking about you. And being in this connection, being with you, is everything. Like, EVERYTHING. Their entire existence is starting to revolve around it.

The intensity of love, emotions and obsession they feel for you Unmatched. It’s honestly overwhelming for them. They feel out of control, and yet... they want to pour every ounce of their soul into this. Because this is something they manifested. Something they dreamed of. You are the person they feel they could never let go of.

Now, real talk, there’s a strong obsessive vibe here too. Some of y’all might not vibe with that energy, and that’s valid!! But this isn’t just a toxic obsession; this is that deep Pluto kind that leads to massive emotional transformation. But don’t be fooled, this person isn’t always this intense. They’re actually very, very sweet. Almost like honey.  And funny enough, that’s exactly how they see you.T o them, you’re like a piece of art they’re lucky to even look at. They admire you. Worship you.. And they just want to hold you forever, like literally never let go. They want to surrender to this connection fully. And they have already surrendered themselves to you already.

And here’s the best part is, even they can’t believe what they’re doing or feeling. They're like, "Who even am I right now??" They’re in awe of your grace, your magnetism, your aura. You feel so “lethal” to them, but in the most beautiful way. Everything about this connection feels brand new to them. The emotions. The pull. The obsession. The beauty. It’s like tasting a flavor they didn’t know existed. It’s nurturing, healing, and intoxicating all at once. Sometimes, they genuinely feel like they're doing something wrong, like they shouldn’t be this into someone. And they try to pull away. But the feeling? That nurturing warmth you radiate? They can’t leave. They won’t let go. They feel like you are their karma, like everything they’ve done in life led them to you. They know this deep within that “What I seeded is what I now receive.” They truly believe you are the fruit of that karma. The divine reward for all their past efforts. You’re their gift from the universe. And losing you is not an option for them. Not even a thought. There’s this fierce need to protect you. Yes, there’s physical desire and all the fiery sexual tension, but underneath it all There’s this soft, delicate devotion. Like “wrap you in a blanket and make you soup forever” kind of love.

They see you as their emotional support. The missing piece in their soul. There’s a part of them that’s always felt incomplete, a heart half-full kind of ache. And you? You’re filling that cup. You’re not just healing them, you’re healing wounds they didn’t even know they had (and you never even caused them in the first place).

They describe you in their mind as honey. The sweetness. The softness. The warmth. The comfort. And they want to protect that at all costs. They don’t see themselves letting you go. They already see a future with you. And honestly? They might already be planning it. (Don’t be surprised if they’ve imagined you two picking out curtains together).

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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog ,it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡

Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!

[mktournament]

Semifinals: Kaeya vs Aventurine

(Propaganda below the cut)

Aventurine:

The story does such a good job of diving into his character. Initially, he comes off as a cocky gambler that’s always scheming, but he his past is so tragic. He’s blessed with amazing luck, but that luck also brings tragedy. He’s the only one of his clan to survive, he’s enslaved, he falls into the hands of the IPC. Aventurine is not afraid to risk his own life when making his gambles and while he puts on a confident facade, he’s clutching his chips beneath the table. (He makes me cry)

[mochiotomedumplings]

some parallels & contrasts & links between sunday and aventurine:

- overcautious, uptight, likely trust issues & low self-opinion & insecure & self-destructive (derived or pointed out in quest)

- put on a facade while dealing with others, heavily performance-themed (sunday with his 3 act play and literally fighting on a stage, aven also boss fight on stage and quest had him reminiscing while running around a stage)

- more performance related (sunday’s choir theme, his trailer & liking for fine music, aven’s pov quest ending with him “going on stage” and putting on a show for his gamble)

- past, present and future (sunday’s history lesson, aven’s “other selves” after being harmony’d, penacony both being a turning point for them to sorta move on from the past)

- sister and family (both love their family more than themselves, both have lost part or all of it and had to cope without actual parental figures in unfriendly environment)

- more on family (both still keep memories/ traces of their lost family even now, aven with his father’s shirt and sunday’s still accompanied by the echoes of faded dreams - “echoes of the memories someone once held of their beloved family”)

- “blessed” in their own path (sunday being powerful enough in harmony to usurp dominicus and touch ena, aven “never loses”)

- religious theme (aven still practicing gaiathra’s rituals, sunday almost-god and biblical reference)

- tangent paths (sunday with his order and divine laws i.e. things must happen this way, aven with his luck and destiny i.e. this will happen)

- caged bird/ captive theme (sunday and his dove, aven and slave + prison theme, both seem as though they control their own fate but not really)

- 2 sides of the same coin (not risking anything and risking everything, control everything vs leaving the final hand in luck, knowing everything vs hiding everything, save everyone vs destroy the world)

- possibility (sunday used to not entertain such noises and risks as said by wonweek while aven is all about playing with bigger risks for bigger reward… no possibility of failure vs the smallest possibility of success)

- both yapper in a way (charmony dove sunday would probs talk at length about things he knows/ has mulled over, see how aven has much to share about things he knows in his voicelines)

- colors (playable: dark vs bright pants, blue+white coat vs green+black coats, gold theme everywhere; family head vs stoneheart: white suit dark inner shirt vs black suit white inner shirt; sunday’s gold eyes and aven’s blond, aven’s eyes kinda similar to ena’s eye with vibrant shades like sunday’s harmony thingy)

- more on appearance (hand behind back thing, left vs right; aven’s eyes of avgin & gaiathra vs eyes everywhere on sunday & ena; bird reference, peacock man vs chicken wing boy; both have a gold scarf and flowy coat tails; both avgins and halovians are known for their good looks)

- crazy (one’s a crazed gambler and the other’s been called a lunatic)

- lost (aven seemed lost on what to do before penacony, plus self-destructive methods, then he found resolution after the slash to live on; sunday had it all planned out before penacony, plus self-destructive methods, then he lost it all and now finding new ways to the future)

- their voiceline about the other is slightly off (sunday described aven’s plan as a grand performance - which he is known to like - then giggled before saying he wants to “clash on stage” again; aven is mostly confident/ chill talking about others & their affiliation but complains about sunday’s method - did not mention halovian or The Family - and then wants to observe sunday’s new plan/ game)

- unjust destiny (their past of suffering, but also their shared outlook on life being inherently unfair and assigning “value” to people)

- referencing the other (wonweek mentioned aven as an influence, aven’s past got explored as he got harmony’d by sunday, “inherently unjust destiny” featuring him being questioned by sunday into revealing his past and feelings, sunday’s voiceline to aven about keeping principles when “golden touch” started with “winning 200% but losing all principles”)

- perfume (both shown to like the Evernight Carnival perfume from Aventurine Timeline)

they have so much in common 💕

[7ndipity]

Thinking about Jealous Jk…

Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: very suggestive, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!

Masterlist

Requests are open

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Jungkook gets jealous super easily, everybody knows it, you’ve often even teased him about it, but the way he displays it around others vs. when it’s just you and him is wildly different.

Like, it doesn’t necessarily surprise you when you happen to spot the shift in his mood while you were both out with some of your mutual friends, toying with his lip ring anxiously as his eyes follow your movements around the room, shooting daggers at whoever’s getting too close, trying to quell his growing tension at first by just keeping a bit closer to you before eventually getting too frustrated and dragging you away to the bathroom or spare room with little to no explanation to those around you, not that anybody much questions it anymore, knowing you’ll both reappear in a few minutes, slightly mussed and likely sporting a few freshly formed hickeys. He is one of the few people I genuinely believe would fuck you in a bathroom out of posessiveness.

But as soon as it’s just you and him though, the tougher outer facade drops almost instantly, becoming your needy, pouty baby, begging for your affection and reassurance. “Tell me you love me.” “Tell me how good I am for you.” etc.

His life is so full of uncertainties and falsities, he just wants that confirmation that you’re here and real, that you won’t disappear on him, and that most easily manifests through his physical clinginess, needing to literally feel you in his hands.

In your early days of dating, this would happen a lot, but the longer you’ve been together and the more comfortable you become with each other, the less frequently these moments would occur as he finds more confidence and trust in your relationship.

You’re his safe place, and he can’t imagine life without you.

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion underestimated you.

Seduction edition. First Round.

Warning for game spoilers and adult themes.

Tea time! Got the hibiscus tea out this time to match some of the tart in this post. No blame, no shame, it's your game.

As a hypervigilant person, facial expressions speak louder than words to me. This unpacking is based off of his face as the time things were said, vs what he said or dev notes. This is a cannon post. Not fact.

In my playthrough I triggered the sex scene before the Tiefling party. Which had me in hysterics because his dead ass propositioned me in front of everybody in the party that day. Like he was asking me to share a sandwich later and not offering to put me on my knees and make me beller like a mule.

Astarion Audacity Ancunin! Really?!

Anyway....

I am fairly certain when he promises you a night you wont forget. He wasn't thinking that he too would not forget that night. Lets look at how you disrupted his rizz.

The initial seduction goes as normal for him. He is charming, suggestive and even encouraging when you are unsure. Ensuring you come willingly to his web.

After you agree, you get your your first glimpse of what I believe is him disassociating. He does not smile or continue the seductive look when he says "I can't wait." His yes are just gone. He hates this game.

After you meet up with him in the woods he is pretty confident that you are going to do exactly what he expects of you and his plan will go off without a hitch. However...

You play hard to get.

Nothing says "What game are we playing here?" quite like this face when you tell him he does not have you yet. He is trying to figure out your intentions here. He was pretty certain you were coming out in the woods to ride him to the fey wild and back and most likely did not expect you to be cheeky. This might be the first moment he realizes this might not be a typical encounter.

"I need to get this back on track!"

Enter the redirect. The split second where he slips out of the sexy facade due to your flirty comment and then back into it.

He thinks everything is back on schedule and he is in control again.

But then, you ask him what he wants.

Oh, hello real Astarion. (brain exec has failed here)

You can bet, given the consistency of his past, he was ready for you to just speed past the formalities and get your hands on him for you own needs like every conquest before you. He does not expect anyone to care enough to ask him about his own desires in these moments. (He affirms this down the friendship route where he says he himself never got any pleasure out of the act.) So when you do, the mask of the seductive rake slips off even longer as he suddenly has no idea how to respond to someone who has gone completely off script. To me, the look on his face reads "Oh shit. What did they just ask me?! Why did they ask me that?! What in the hells do I say?! " But he redirects again trying to bring the encounter back into familiar territory by dialing up the sexuality again by using "taste" as an inuendo.

But then doubt sets in. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

He is on the back foot now. The facade is crumbling. You are not where he can see you in his normal view of how this rendezvous should go. You're not responding like he is used to. You haven't tried to grope him yet. You haven't gotten into his personal space. He's given you the "go" why are you not moving?

"To lose yourself in me."

I know a lot of people read this moment as he is sad you are agreeing to sleep with him. But it doesn't quite fit. Why try to be so convincingly seductive through the whole thing just to drop it all right at the "win" ? The smart thing to do would be to keep the mask of lust on. But he doesn't. It falls completely off here.

Maybe its because you are not responding with reckless lust in return and he feels like his plan has already failed.

Maybe it because you are being too nice to him and he is feeling ashamed for manipulating you.

Maybe he fears this might be another Sebastian situation where he is using someone he doesn't feel he should.

Maybe he has a moment where he forgets that he is free and thinks Cazador will take you away when its over.

Maybe he is tired. Tired of of hiding behind the hypersexual avatar he as played for centuries. Tired of putting himself in situations where he is a thing to be used to get what he needs. Tired of being a gateway of death. Tired of connecting to nothing.

It could be a number of things. Who really knows.

But then you nod. And the game is back on. His normal is returning and he feels like he is in familiar territory again.

"I thought so."

But I think he already has a feeling this is going to be different. Or at least, lets himself hope that it will be. Someone who is thoughtful enough to ask how they can meet your needs surely won't be the same as those who didn't give a damn.

The morning after and we claim to notice that he was disassociating at times.

"Shit, they noticed!"

He probably has not had to worry about hiding the fact that he was disassociating. But then here you are caring about his comfort during the deed that he got caught. He wasn't expecting that. And is quick to admit, because he can't deny it, and quick to excuse it. But even if he did space out form time to time, it wasn't all the time.

"That night was special to me. I've been on my back ten thousand times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, you I'll remember."

He literally says he didn't disassociate as much with you as he would have others. Given it was default mode for him during sex, I like to think he fought to stay present with you as best he could.

But you, you are a complication.

[rewritingcanon]

what do u think of the portrayal of harry and ginny in the cursed child (i feel like it's so out of character, especially for harry) also that he works at the ministry and that ginny gave up her quidditch career (same goes for harry)

alright ive had this in my inbox for so long because i wanted to do this ask justice so i really hope that anon is still around to read this. in saying that harry was ‘out of character’ in hpcc, i assume you’re talking about how he was a bad/flawed father, as MANY fans have argued the same. so i will address that first and then i will talk about ginny and hinny’s careers.

disclaimer: when i say “you” im not talking specifically about anon but about fandom.

harry potter vs fatherhood

harry’s whole life resolved around being the chosen one and the prophesied saviour of the wizarding world. it was either being The Hero or being the unwanted, abused and scorned freak living with the dursleys. when thats your home life, then you tend to cling on to anything that is an escape from that— and in harry’s experience that was hogwarts.

if you really think about it, hogwarts was very nasty to harry as well. he was always getting picked on or bullied or in some life threatening danger that he got blamed for half of the time— but because it was better than living with the dursleys, his mind idolised it as a safe haven.

harry also reflects this idolising behaviour onto parental figures, especially paternal figures. he doesnt actually know his parents, only has an ideal of them in his head that was constructed as a coping mechanism to the abuse and neglect he went through at home. he projects The Perfect Father onto every one of his paternal figures (i think the only exception to this is arthur but i mayyy be wrong)— sirius and dumbledore are the biggest ones that come to mind, even though sirius only knew him for two years, and dumbledore would manipulate and use harry for the betterment of the world, which is unlike a parent who would put their child’s needs first (harry did not recognise these issues at length at the time as he was used to the idea of self sacrifice and probs understood that it came with the territory of being The Hero). harry even projected his father onto himself in PoA and nearly died from it.

in saying this, its reasonable to argue that there’s a disconnect with harry and the idea of what a good father actually is. this is challenged in the books itself (with SWM, harry seeing that james was not the Perfect Man he built up in his head), but this is challenged the most in the cursed child.

throughout the play, harry acts as the personified ideal he grew up with. easygoing, confident, wise— when in reality he is the opposite of those attributes and albus can see right through it (ginny says this to harry in the play, i would find the line but alas, im on the train rn). hes not easygoing or confident— he’s fearful that he doesn’t know what hes doing or how to be a father, and hes scared not knowing makes him a bad father. hes acted out in fear multiple times— the biggest moment is when he bans albus from seeing scorpius to keep him ‘safe.’ he has constant nightmares about his trauma as a child when living with the dursleys and not having the stability or love he craved. his ‘wise’ advice is not applicable to his children because he is harry potter, The Hero, and they are just normal kids. this is why albus and harry get on each others nerves so badly— because they are constantly stomping on each others sore spots by accident. albus doesn’t appreciate the facade that harry tries to uphold, and harry doesn’t understand why— because he’s projecting that ideal onto all of his kids, and if it works for james and lily (presumably), why doesn’t it work for albus? harry would’ve done anything for a father figure like himself!! there must be something wrong with albus!! (🙄)

now The Blanket SceneTM is very controversial and pissed off a lot of longtime fans into denouncing the entire play as canon. ive talked about it at length and since theres more to discuss in this post, i will shorten it down as best i can for you:

as a way of bonding, harry tries to give his precious blanket to albus. he believes albus may be more like him and may be able to understand the sacredness of the present unlike his siblings.

unknowingly, harry is still projecting his ideals onto albus. the blanket is only so extremely precious to him because it represents his parents, who he still views in an idolised light. therefore the blanket is the ideal.

albus scorns this ideal so he scorns the gift. however, because hes a confused and possibly depressed fourteen year old, he doesn’t communicate the rejection of this in a healthy way and basically insults the blanket by calling it old and mouldy and comparing it to james and lily’s presents, which outwardly could make him seem like a brat.

by attacking the blanket, he attacks harry’s parents and the ideal. and harry is very sensitive about this

albus then accidentally triggers very central fears surrounding being an orphan and being a father when he says “i wish you werent my dad”

harrys first thought is that albus wants him dead. at this point, hes stopped listening to albus trying to explain himself as he’s already triggered, so he’s acting in complete defence when he responds “sometimes i wish you werent my son”

this was said with the intention to hurt albus, it was a mindless act with one goal. saying this is out of character for harry is ridiculous, because he’s done the exact same thing in the books multiple times to the people he loves.

another important note: these characters trigger each other accidentally. the intent to connect is there, but there are deep seated issues on harry’s side that was never confronted leading to these issues. and as albus is a young angsty teen who does get bullied and is a little self-centred (again, very normal for a 14yo), he can’t really communicate these issues to harry effectively (harry being dismissive of the bullying (that he believes is normal for hogwarts students) albus goes through doesn’t help the situation either), leaving harry stumbling in the dark and further emboldening that The Perfect Father he imagined as a child may not exist.

ok that wasnt very economical but anyways! those are the issues! what happens next is harry spiralling and confirming those fears, being forced to confront them and deal with them, and then the steps toward healing his relationship with albus.

im not defending how harry treated albus (dismissing his bullying, lashing out, the enmeshment abuse) but offering insight and trying to explain that he was certainly in-character. i think people simply had an emotional reaction to seeing their loved character being very realistically flawed, and decided they didnt like it without doing much analysis as to why harry was acting the way he was. trauma is very complex, and theres no expiry date for it if you simply refuse to confront it or heal.

a lot of harry’s journey with interrogating the Perfect Father concept was to confront and acknowledge his inner child. he has to recognise his childhood for the childhood it was without the flashy titles or impressed ideals. the confrontation with dumbledore is the pinnacle of it— harry idolised dumbledore as a central father figure, and he realised when confronting the portrait that his relationship with dumbledore was much more complex and nuanced than he originally thought. suddenly dumbledore ceases to be an ideal, and harry sees him for the man that he was: conflicted, more uncertain in his own choices than he let on, heartbroken and self-sabotaging.

when harry presents himself at the end of the play to albus, he presents himself as human— an escapist, unsure in his decisions, insecure, and scared of the dark, small spaces and pigeons. and albus appreciates the flawed, real version of harry. those expectations and ideals that albus struggled to uphold in the face of harry’s projecting simply disappear, and he finally feels like he can adequately be harry’s son just by being.

another less obvious moment that shows this, is how harry and delphi mirror each other. delphi is the more extreme version of this— she is completely deluded in her worship for a father she never knew, so desperate for the love and respect shes built up in her mind that she’s dedicated her life to it and feels empty without the ideal to go off of. its why harry defends her when albus asks him why they shouldn’t just kill her— because hes the only one who understands the pain of being an orphan, living in an abusive household, dreams of ‘what ifs’ and what it can do to a person.

whats important to take away is that harry and albus love each other immensely, which is why they are able to turn over a new leaf at the end. it speaks of incredible strength on albus’ half, and i really want to stress that albus LOVES harry, because i see so much content about him straight up butchering or slandering harry when that is sooo not them!! if albus saw the way some of yall were misinterpreting his relationship with his dad he’d be livid. whether or not you would do the same in forgiving harry is irrelevant— albus has always wanted to have a good relationship with harry and the same goes both ways. people hurt each other, sometimes egregiously so, but when one promises change and is serious about it, than chances are there will be change. this is especially so in the case of family.

ginny weasley vs age

what is paradoxical is how self-centred harry is, despite also being very willing to sacrifice himself for other people. albus possesses a self-centredness similar to him. harry is so caught up in his own world and comparing it to albus’ situation, and vice versa. ginny is normally the middle man who can see both harry and albus for what they are and the individual worlds they inhabit, and tries to communicate effectively between them. the play mostly revolves around harry and albus, so what i’ll have to say for her will not be as in-depth.

short answer: ginny matured with age. she is probably the most mature character alongside draco, although draco does let his emotions get in the way at times (funnily enough i think this is why ginny and draco get along so well in the cursed child and are able to recognise each other for who they are). she was very brash and courageous and wonderfully chaotic in the books, but she was also blunt and impatient, which is not something thats presented in the cursed child. instead, she is VERY patient and communicates extremely well, being able to navigate both harry and albus without prodding their weak spots like they do to each other.

she offers her own experiences to albus as her own experiences, not projecting them onto him as an unequivocal truth. this can be seen in how she opens up to him about how she was exploited by tom riddle, and she lets albus draw his own comparisons to himself and delphi without pushing his experiences into a box.

her relationship with harry is interesting, because she is the only one who sees him for him and the only one that harry’s not bothered by when she makes honest judgments on his actions. he’s only okay with her seeing him for the flawed man he is. she doesn’t make him feel defensive, nor does she make him feel demonised for not knowing how to parent albus, or for messing up with him (though she does call him out when he is in the wrong, something her younger self would be quick to do too). one of the most heart wrenching scenes is when ginny blows up at harry and really screams at him about albus being missing and him being self-centred about it, making it out to be about himself and his issues surrounding fatherhood. despite this, harry does not get defensive— which shows that he trusts even her negative judgments of him because she knows him so well (very very similar to the library scene with scorpius screaming at albus over his self-centeredness as well btw).

she still possesses key qualities from her younger self, she’s just ironed out the rougher ones as she’s grown— she’s still impossibly brave, fiercely loyal, extremely devoted to those she loves and also very logical. you can tell harry and albus are more emotional than she is, which is part of the reason why she is able to construct her points so effectively. she puts her logical thinking to good use in emotional situations. i think people are forgetting that people aren’t typically going to be the same as who they were as teenagers.

why has ginny been able to grow so much in comparison to harry? because she’s recognised what she went through as a teenager and made peace with it. you can see it in the way she freely offers her own experiences about it. she’s been able to build on top of what she went through in a healthy way, and was able to experience real, healthy change. and she is so much wiser and kinder for it.

hinny vs their careers

first i’ll talk about harry because i think i have more stuff to go off of with him.

we’ve already established that hes The Hero first and foremost. after he fulfilled the prophecy and saved the world i dont think its such a stretch to argue that he may have needed another similar purpose to latch onto, and that being an auror granted him that. quidditch was fun for him, but it couldn’t give him the same purchase that being an auror could. heroes dont play quidditch, they save the world. the same could be said for neville and ron, who were also aurors at first. was it the healthiest road to go down for harry? i dont think so, but considering his characterisation in the cursed child, i think it works. ron ended up quitting to be a father, neville ended up quitting to focus on his real passion (herbology), and harry continued to cling onto The Hero image he’s used to presenting. yes, the ministry was impossibly corrupt and worked against him in his youth, but to harry that could’ve served as more of a reason to change the institution from the inside. this, i imagine, was most definitely the case with hermione, who was always an idealist.

that being said, i don’t think continuing being an auror is such a great idea post-hpcc. he at least needs a break in order to continue his job in a healthy manner and not misconstrue his identity with it.

in terms of ginny, i don’t believe she’d still be playing quidditch in her 40s. if you think about real athletes, very few of them continue playing professionally in their 40s (i think the average age is 34 but i may be wrong), especially after birthing three kids. we dont know much about her retirement, but there are many reasons one can assume ginny retired for, kids and/or age being the most reasonable deduction. its not so much a question of characterisation but more about the reality of having to give up your passion earlier than most if its sports.

despite retiring, its clear ginny is still very passionate about quidditch as shes still working within the field, just not playing the sport professionally anymore.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - HomuMami

Based on these two polls [X] [X], I will write an analysis that'll also include how I feel about the ship (similarly to my Digimon shipping game analysis posts).

Disclaimer: I won't claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship's aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I've read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I'm aware that I haven't seen/read all of what's out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. So this is going to be my personal take on it.

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

HomuMami is a very curious case in regards to a very common theme in the Madoka Magica universe: Namely that of painting them as polar opposites/antagonistic forces when it comes to colour schemes (purple/black vs. yellow/white) and attitudes... While also ensuring there are enough similarities between them in both text and subtext to make the viewer/reader ask: "Well, why didn't they get along better?" Thankfully, there is a (semi-)authorized spin-off manga that explores their complementary/similarity dynamics in great detail - but we will get to that later, as we shall focus on their relationship and its development in the main story first.

When Homura Akemi (or Moemura for short) meets Mami Tomoe for the very first time, she's a beacon of strength and confidence alongside Madoka Kaname - two "senior Magical Girls" with a positive and welcoming attitude... And while Homura is mainly seen hyperfocusing on Madoka at this point in time (and doesn't even seem to take much note of the first time Mami falls in battle), it doesn't seem unlikely to assume that this is everything she ever wanted: To have reassuring people around her, friends that are kind, patient and supportive, functioning as role models to look up to. As pointed out in the HomuSaya analysis, Homura was initially very wary of Sayaka for considering her a liability - but Mami, at least at this point in time, didn't give her any reason to question her. Quite the contrary - while it's never explicitly stated in the original series (we will get back to that later!), doesn't it seem rather peculiar that Homura ends up choosing guns as her weapons of choice after everything else didn't work out...? Granted, they are no muskets, but you get the idea...

It's not until Mami snaps upon learning the truth about Magical Girls that Homura's view of her begins to crumble. The kind, strong, invincible mask, the pedestal Homura may (or may not) have put her Senpai on disappears and, timeline upon timeline, gets replaced more and more by skepticism, mistrust - and an overall hyperfocus on Mami being the actual liability in the group.

When the viewers first get to witness Mami and Homura interact without knowing their backstory, they get a sense of... Malice between them, they definitely are not on good terms and see each other as threats. Mami is portrayed as righteous, the "good" kind of Magical Girl - whereas Homura is perceived as mysterious, emotionless and cold, only working towards her own objectives without taking others into consideration. Where Mami approaches Homura with teasing passive-aggressiveness, Homura responds with cool nonchalance. As mentioned, putting characters on opposing ends is a theme throughout the entire series (see KyouSaya for comparison). However, it's also a theme in the series to have the characters put on fronts and facades - and that is the case for both Homura and Mami on various levels.

Where, oh where does one begin to describe the similarities between them? First of all, there may be the fact that they're both orphans, both suffering from survivor's guilt - and that one of their deepest initial wishes once was not to be alone anymore. We see this with Mami desperately wishing not to fight on her own anymore after being the only one surviving the car crash after making her wish - she is yearning for company, even more so after the (temporary) loss of Kyouko's friendship, displayed by the eagerness to have Madoka and Sayaka by her side (in various different timelines). Homura (while still being Moemura) considered herself worthless and unable to fit in, imperfect, unstable, weak... Until she met Madoka. And Mami. And this is where things become rather tragic - because with Mami losing her mind in one of the later timelines, she may also have lost Homura's trust indefinitely. The person who may have been the perfect friend, self-confident, beautiful and strong, who may have helped to cure her own loneliness - turned out to be imperfect, unstable, weak herself...

Again, this has not been specifically mentioned, but Homura may have been incredibly disappointed in Mami - and thus ended up cautious of her in every timeline going forward. Unfortunately, she is also proven right most of the time - but also often shows remorse for "having been too late" (to save her as well; while Mami suffers from survivor's guilt towards her parents, it's absolutely possible that Homura feels similarly about all the timelines she had to witnesses the other girls - including Mami - fall).

In general, Homura's arc is constantly accompanied by Mami's fate being her own sword of Damocles. Homura's wish may have been to meet and save Madoka again - but to accomplish that, she also had to try not to fall into despair the same way Mami did time and time again. Mami may have been her Senpai and gun-wielding role model once - and now she's turned into a negative example of how not to end up. Hence why Homura is generally incredibly observant of Mami's behaviour - and tells herself that she "could never get along" with her, as seen in Rebellion Story. In her eyes, it would have been easy for any enemy (such as Bébé) to deceive and manipulate Mami - since she considers her to be just that desperate for love and affection. Tragically enough, this may have been her inner monologue at this point, indirectly showing just how much Homura may have related to Mami:

"You're soft, you are weak and by God, I cannot afford to make the same mistakes you did, so I try to ignore the fact that I must have been pretty close to become like you several times over once I let my guard down, once I realize how incredibly lonely I am as well..."

One could even argue that this is exactly why they're 100% on par during their fight in Rebellion Story - because Homura tried so hard not to fail like Mami that she had to become at least as strong as Mami's strongest self. And yet... Homura still underestimates Mami. As well as her own perception of her - because not only did she STILL care enough not to kill her when she had the chance... She also didn't see her final trick coming, because Homura's view of Mami, just like of everyone else, is very idealized/condensed. She formed her opinion of them through all the time-loops - unsurprisingly so! - and thus, everything that exceeds her expectations cannot be considered by her.

It may be a coping mechanism, it may be her way of protecting herself - and a certain sense of suspicion may always remain within Homura when it comes to Mami. However - some timelines show that things could have gone differently. Wraith Arc for example at least hints at Homura trusting Mami enough to let her show her how to use guns after losing her own abilities - while Mami has an absolute blast acting in very senpai-esque (and even somewhat flirtatious) ways again.

And then, of course, there is Mitakihara Anti-Materials - a somewhat comedic but very heartfelt story that focuses on the premise: "What if Homura moved in with Mami in one of the timelines so they could actually get to know one another and there is hope that, in this one, Mami will actually survive thanks to the bond they develop...?" While it absolutely IS more of a comedy manga, it allows both of them to breathe in ways we haven't seen before; Homura sees Mami's more ditzy side and, instead of just considering her a liability, sees her as a good-hearted, inspiring companion (even if her Tsundere-attitude doesn't let her admit that out loud). Mami, on the other side, discovers that Homura's cool exterior is also just a facade and that she may actually just need a partner to lend her a hand (or someone who helps cutting her hair, which, in itself, is a huge sign of trust). Between weapon cleaning, game playing, study sessions, grocery shopping and lots of food talks, they really seem able to let their guard down more with each other here, there is familiarity, softness, friendly bickering, even physical closeness. It's even here that Homura admits that it had been Mami's suggestion to use guns as weapons! Although Homura is always aware of the threat that looms in the back, always cautious, one can feel the hopeful note that, maybe this time, things will be alright. In general - as well as between Mami and herself.

In the end, just like with almost all Madoka Magica ships, this one is pretty much doomed by the narrative. The main story always has them end up clashing and opposing one another - even if there is still this little glimpse of hope that, maybe the reason why they never end up beating each other in combat, is that, deep down inside, they may just care too much, but aren't able to convey that...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

Without question, it may actually take something reminiscent of the timeline in Mitakihara Anti-Materials for them to work out romantically - because this may be one of the few, if not the only timeline that allows Homura to actually look at Mami beyond the rigid image of her she has created in her mind. Beyond all idealization as well as all the negativity. Instead, she may be able to see and value their similarities and how they complement one another, finding reasons to live aside from being Magical Girls on duty... It's a rather melancholic yet very soft interpretation of "a good end" for Homura where she doesn't hyperfocus on Madoka anymore and, thus, may not even get close to fall into despair. The same goes for Mami, who not only has someone to care for, but also has that same someone - who looks through her picture-perfect facade - care for her in return, without coddling, without beating around the bush. In a timeline like this - they may actually be able to rescue one another, learn to handle both their loneliness and survivor's guilt, accept each other's flaws with endearment and become domestic life partners (as depicted above).

In regards to the "original" timeline however, just like almost every other Madoka Magica ship, they may require a lot of therapy - to get over all the prejudice and resentment they have developed towards each other. With Homura being unable to look past (herself in) Weak!Mami and Mami being unable to understand and deal with Aloof!Homura, they need a lot of rekindling to overcome the mutual mistrust. (And if you take both Rebellion Story's and Magia Record's symbolism seriously, it's no surprise that they keep opposing one another - Holy!Mami and Homucifer may be framed to be enemies just as much as Madokami and Homucifer after all...)

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

I probably would never have grown as fond of this ship if I hadn't stumbled across Mitakihara Anti-Materials by accident. Prior to reading this manga, I thought the main fascination in fandom stemmed from their fight in Rebellion Story (and the potential sexual tenson/friction that comes from the enemies-to-lovers trope, including kinky power play with ribbons...). But now I'm seeing these two in an entirely different light - even the second season of the Magia Record anime gave the whole "Homura used to look up to Mami a lot" idea a whole new spin by ACTUALLY having her carry a part of her ribbon with her... It was the Senpai/Kouhai angle we hadn't seen to this extent yet and before I knew it, I was hooked on their potential dynamic. Once again, there are a lot of "what ifs" and "almosts" sprinkled in here, especially because the main timeline prioritizes the theme of mistrust and misunderstanding between them too thoroughly. Hence why it feels so soothing to read Mitakihara Anti-Materials, which gives them such a hopeful flavour, allowing them to pause, care about and appreciate each other despite their trauma. It's a lot of wishful thinking of course, but definitely the version of them I prefer as a romantic ship!

[vsyrworld]

so, who favours who? | reaction fic to imola gp | hurt/comfort | not beta read. charlos estabelish realitionship | sorry williams

carlos should'nt do this-- prickling his nails during post race debrief. all the team words passed like a whirl wind. his mind is not empty, its actually full of gear working too hard and it suddenly burst into exhaustment at the moment the oil isnt lubricate for him. alex said bla bla, james looking at him questionebly. he is been silent for 90% of time since the debrief started, does he care? no he doesn't. this is a kind of feeling when you had so much to say but none of them is nice.he already talked alot to media, nice , optimist thing, and now he runs out them. as soon as he sat at the chair, the teams start evaluating the strategy, he suddenly become outsider.

this is not first time as soloist. him vs the team, vs the golden boy. the double u logo illmuniating on top of alex head, it glows a blue hue as the LED is beaming slowly, make it alex looks like he belongs there. alex has always. this williams blue blended to ferrari red real quick. different team, same scheme. who works more who favours who, ah kind of favorite child. in momentarly carlos raised his eyebrows at his own thought.

and it create a subtle reaction from james.

"carlos? do you want to say something? it is important for us to know both of driver perspective, please" his voice calm and collected but carlos snorts at himself how facade that words coming from the principle mouth.

fucking british fallacy and all their deceitful commitments. no, carlos doesnt want to be rude. he analyze the team decision pretty logically- about what if, about probability, about experiment that they choose to do at him while he is the one who put car on position, bring the massive upgrade and teach them winning mindset. he believes them because the team is receiving all in all yet he did get nothing.

he doesnt want to throw tantrums about why his hardwork was paid for other driver, not him. but part of him wants to break the silence, screams at them how false james supports sounds. how he constantly lose his confidence at this team. how he hates that can't control the team decision.

its like dejavu. alex - williams to charles - ferrari. the different is ferrari is charles and vice versa, neverless carlos never feel an outsider. maybe because ferrari is stupid enough to ruin he and charles races. or maybe the amount of tifosi loves he still receive until now. and maybe its also charles who makes him bleed red together, give it his all with everything he took from carlos.

at least, ferrari is clowning themself. they don't act kind and praises him like superhero while on his back turning their head aloof. they don't make public statement of how carlos' hardworks is bringing hope for the win while his hardwork is used by the team for someone else. rats. fucking thieves like rats.

"Carlos?" james voice' irritated him. he stays silent because he can. carlos can be a bigboy, can handle thing with such a grace.

"are you listening to us?"

Listening? Of course i am. I listen to every empty promises you just said. what now? does my opinion matters for my advantages? win and lose together more like you guys win alone. no hard feelngs toward alex.

james sighed as his silent treatment. good, he is going to keep them stucked in this suffocatinf room for another ten minutes. "we are already sorry. please tell us how to make it better for next sundays"

already sorry... for being experiment mouse, right? he wonders what james is thinking now, well, and others mechanic. they dreams of pizza and good carbonara maybe. some of them already agitated, eyes darts toward the clock, hand rubbing across their faces. he chuckled again.

five more minutes. "i already said that my point is where you guys build a failing strategy without me knowing-"

"we didn't expect that would be an advantage, carlos. we had to do it to raise the probability-"

"by put me as sacrificial lamb?" carlos cuts james the way james cuts him too. it successfuly, create a tired sigh from all the team. great respons.

"we're just talking in circles..."

"si, there is no point for myself to talk if you are being defensive." two more minute, carlos silenty glancing his phone. "i'm not saying it's a bad strategy. just called it a pure bad luck" his feet shaking when a minute pass but he had to say one more word before he flew away from this drama.

"and i think this race makes me understand the team better" he smiles at everybody to the room. yes yes he understand, williams is ferrari in disguise.

james and alex shared a quick glance, "we glad to hear that", his tone mixed with a reliefed and unfinish question. carlos just let the elephant stands at the corner. next sunday he knew what charachter he needs to play along.

the clock switched to 16.00 on his phone and a new message pop out,

'i'm already here'

'it suffocating here, gigi already threat me for giving him a free tube of lec vanilla flavour'

carlos drags his chair out from the tables, "see you next week guys"

he left the room first. not letting james reached him for another pep talk.

james indeed follows him to his changing room. but gigi, oh well his saviour man in armor, drags his team principle away so he doesn't see, the moment carlos open his door, the monegasque is waiting for him.

james peaks just a fringe point view from the door when it finally close. charles chuckled at the scene,

"didn't knew your team principle is that obssesed with you. maybe more than me." he smiled sheepishly.

carlos rolled his eyes, "how many ice cream did you promise to give gigi, hm?" he sits on the table, while charles is occupied whole of his bed. "pretty intruder. "

"hey!" charles sit up abruptly, "it is easier for you to come to ferrari rather than having me here." he snorts, lips quirked down. things always get the same when charles is annoyed. carlos himself is pleased.

"how many times i said you are always welcome. you are just overthinking it." charles grunted at him.

deep down, carlos was scared to go at ferrari homeland. to see his number replace by lewis is still stinging his heart. but this weekend proves it was nothing, the tifosi cheers him the way charles always conviced him again and again. they recognize his hardwork at quali and still cheering him on despite he wore blue. yes sometimes it still hurts but the way williams did this to him was at another level.

"yeah, it is" he gulped the infused water charles gave him. they sat in silence, letting the adrenaline vanished. it was charles who break the silence by walking toward carlos then throwing his own body to him.

"ooff--" carlos grabs both of charles arms as charles put all his body weight on him like a deadlog.

"i didn't came here to get a silent treatment from you. we are not even racing each other!" charles whined at his juncture of neck. his protest enlighted something in carlos' heart.

"really, you and your competitive ass." soon he is cradling charles with all of his arms. charles purrs like cat as soon as he felt himselr relaxed in hug.

he rocked their body side to side, while his fingers trails to charles head slowly. he plays with the brunnete hair, twirling it softly and his other hand circling on charles' snatched waist perfectly like home.

carlos sighed to himself. yes, tifosi and italy feels like a second home.

"you are way too graceful on the radio" carlos can feel charles snuggles more into his neck, making him ticklish a little bit.

"what else i'm supposed to say?" he asked him, "does it matters if i sounds angry?"

"it did!" charles then looks up at him, "you did angry to me, when the team favours me. what's the difference?"

carlos locks his gaze with charles. his hand stop brushing the hair suddenly. that is a very good question, carlos must say. of four year carlos lives with ferrari golden boy and he is being honest every little detail about it. why he is fighting so much at something inevitable?

"maybe..." he tried to find a word, "maybe because i can fight that. that- i mean, i can fight you. to race me, to ignore team order. because you did it too, you forced me, fight me."

charles blinks at him, demands more answer.

"but this is" carlos licked base of his own lips, "i can't fight them. one versus whole team. my opinion is matter, yes it is. but for them, not for me."

the realization sinked in slowly and he felt how pitying that statement was. charles break the gaze and pulled carlos' neck to rest against chest,

"fair enough," he is mumbling another italian against carlos' nape. "fred is being a bitch, right now" he pats carlos' back.

it takes turns. always take turn to comfort each other between them. carlos put both his palm on charles waist. massaging them like a dog scenting its owner. he is rubbing charles' skin to calm himself, to resent a building tears that threatening to spill from his eyes.

"you can cry on me." charles speaks in italian.

gosh it feels so long they hadn't speak in italian in private. he didn't knew it would create something at his heart. it feels meaningful. like he is longing something he left behind. he feels homecoming. charles and italy, charles and ferrari, and tifosi, vice versa.

"non" carlos shutted his eyes and it ignite another crushful hug from charles.

"ay, cabron-" charles fake spanish accent mocking him, "you had see me ugly in early season and now is your turn"

carlos doesn't say anything instead of burrying his face on charles' neck, holding him so close that almost shielding him from outside world. carlos likes to make him smaller when his feelings is out of control. because charles is here and he is care for him. he sniffed through out his stuffy nose. even though he can still scent charles' fresh showered soap. his finger tracing charles' back slowly, mapping each point he had forgotten.

"next week monaco" his voice is hoarse against charles' skin.

charles replies it with a hum, he can feel it vibrating through his sternum. "and the next next week is spain." charles holds his kind of hopeless laughter.

they knew they will bring dissapointment more than their optimist side. and charles for god sake, having his monaco race at this car condition was not somethinf carlos bear to witness the dissapointment. not when both of them tasted the victory last year. is like rubbing salt over the open wound.

carlos raised his face to meet charles' cheek and plant a soft kiss there. then trailing more down to his neck.

"it's okay" he readjusting the way he sit while charles is standing infront of him. the table is too small for carlos to let charles sit on his lap. so carlos slowly stand up face to face with hand still tangled on charles' waist. "it's okay, it will be okay. we will be okay." he whispered in italian.

"no, we are not. it's a fucking mess" charles speaks in italian can penetrate the emotion deeply than english. carlos can feel charles is shaking on his arms. the monegasque closed his eyes tightly. carlos heart wrenched at the sight. he brought both of his hand to cradle charles face softly.

charles finally look at him with teary eyes, "it's a mess and i fucking missing you everytime and it is hard, carlos. no matter how much i want to deny it and pretend everything is okay. it is not."

"yes, yes, i know" he brings their forehead together, "who the fuck was saying next year it will be easy when we on different team?"

"it's you, you idiot" charles snort at his accusation.

carlos grins at realization, "yeah that was me. the always want to be an optimist man." he dropped his head to charles' shoulder.

they laughed together in each other arms. yes, each weekend is spiraling down worse than he expected. but in imola, he realized he still has home. who waits and welcome him after a long journey he wander about at different island.

he is still their el matador, no matter what. for now, it is enough.

[jerejerejere]

Well.

I guess I'm doing this...collection of observations from the autiomaa mv (i'm not going to call it an analysis) tonight after all 😅

So the mv starting out with a really short flash of the tear-illusion shot, then some short bursts of him in 2 locations in the mv, followed by a longer pan on a cracking facade...

The light effects on the wall look like being under water, which also kind of replicated by the fabric of his coat.

The following couple of scenes establish where he is - aimlessly wandering in some abandoned house - we zoom in intensely, almost uncomfortably close to his neck and eyes - he's making almost pleading eye-contact. He is wandering further, through the house, arriving at and entering

A staircase through a door, which closes after him.

To me, this signifies his decision to enter esc. The staircase can take you upwards - maybe signified by the lighted glass wall above. But what we see is not him confidently walking upstairs but being caught in that hallway, traveling up and down the stairs. He hasn't reached the upper floor and is caught in limbo. Alone with himself.

The therapist scene starts. He slinks in, hunched, making himself smaller than he is, drowning in his clothes. The session also takes place in a warehouse but it's set up in a way that it might as well be an interrogation.

He is pleading again - spilling everything out in the hope he's understood. However, what we see next is him talking/singing to a mirror image of himself. Either to signify he is talking to himself because the therapist doesn't listen and/or only he himself can truly understand and listen to his problems.

We get the photo scene - that one has been talked about at length

And that flash seems to start a transition in the video from where flashes were mainly used as separating element between shots to actually flashing on him physically and more relentless than before.

He is transversing more rooms and hallways - followed and faced by dozends of flashes from cameras, spotlights follow and corner him - he can't hide or evade.

He keeps traversing hallways and empty rooms but he seems locked inside - restless and defeated at the same time - either visual for his mind that he can't open up about but also very much likely his real life situation not being able to leave the house in peace.

He longingly stares out of the window. This is where i'll stick my neck out and say they deliberately recreated the visual from his Vogue shot in profile. I can only speculate but to me, it's to put something into contrast, either between then and now/after or maybe between outside vs inside. I mean. Look at it:

We see him(?) as a shadow behind the upper floor glass wall in the light - he made it there after all but we/his mind is still watching from below and can't make contact with that person up above.

His dance moves get more and more erratic, a bit like someone waiting and slowly going crazy from it.

Watching the headlines with the therapist seems to upset him. They are projected in stark white and big - because they are important to him, because they are bigger than him or because he is watching his own life happening like a movie but not feeling any of it as real. Others can't relate to it because it's just too uncommon and crazy. He realizes this while looking at his therapist, seeing how could anyone ever get it who hasn't gone through the same thing - he'll not have a chance to get this across.

His dancing gets even more lifeless afterwards - almost swaying in a traumatized manner barely holding himself upright, especially after the therapist proves to be useless and making things worse even. (To me, it's not quite clear what the cigarettes offered by the therapist signify - pharmaceutical drugs/tablets? The only way out is returning to his old vices?)

We end a little like we started - with an intense stare into his eyes. They are not pleading. They know. They see. (They demand better.)

Aaaand that's it for now. (I'm sure there will be one or two ''AND ANOTHER THING!'' but i'd love to hear from you also!!!)

Thanks for listening to my TED talk <3

[benjaminvox]

Étienne Canét (FR) vs. Benjamin Vox (EN)

Fight Club 2025 | @theundergroundlondon @etienne-canet

(Étienne)

This wasn’t the fight he signed up for. Fighting a child? That wasn’t in his books. Fighting a child with not enough experience and simply one with aggression issues? Now that was just a strike on his ego. 

As Étienne stepped into the ring, a disappointed sigh left him. He remembered what he’d done to the kids parents, and no, he did not have remorse for it. But there was an off chance the child knew and was going to try to use some kind of tricks against him.

Once again, a child trying to vent his anger.

He could easily fight the kid. There wasn’t a scenario where Étienne couldn’t. He was better trained, had way more experience and besides he had strategy which the opponent lacked. 

This wasn’t a worthy fight - this was a fucking mockery. 

–

(Benjamin)

Some part of Benjamin wished he could revert to being a child. 

When he’d been oblivious to what the world around him looked like: when his parents still walked the earth, and he’d been naive, outright clueless about the true horrors. His dining room had been where they found true happiness because it hadn’t always been present. Benjamin, after all, had been the forgotten child. 

Chucked to the wayside. So why did he miss them so? 

Because, regardless, they were his blood. His kin. 

After he’d found them at that same table, heads dipped forward: dead. That day, a part of the boy inside of him died. Unending grief had swallowed him and his brothers whole until there was no way out. 

The crowd behind him dulled to nothing, there were no cheers or roars – he didn’t even look for his people. He simply kept his eyes down, away from anything that could set him off. Knowing that Étienne was near was enough to put a shake in his leg, and a quiver in his lip.

Benjamin was not ready for this – didn’t want to be. 

He simply attempted to momentarily forget. To be anywhere else. 

This was where he’d meet him. He couldn’t run away like last time. There was no Melissa to protect him, to take the brunt just as her jaw had. 

Alive with fear, he simply stood and stared. And prayed that his parents were beside him.

–

(Étienne)

Étienne stepped into the ring; slow, deliberate. Shoulders relaxed, hands clasped neatly behind his back, like he’d wandered into the wrong kind of party and wasn’t particularly interested in staying. The Frenchman tilted his head, gaze sweeping over the twitchy little twenty-something Jack Russell who was clearly trying (and failing) to pretend he was ready for this.

Pathetic, wasn’t it?

The sight alone was just another reminder (not that he ever needed one) that this entire spectacle was an absurdity. A poorly written facade crafted purely for Lara Rutherford’s amusement.

He looked the boy up and down once more. Blinked. And then actually snorted - short, dry, disdainful. Like someone had just told him a joke that insulted his intelligence.

“You want me to fight a child?” His voice rang out, crisp and cutting - just loud enough for the front row to hear. “No, thank you. I have standards.”

And with that, he turned his back on the ring.

The boos were instant - predictable. However, Étienne didn’t even blink. He cracked his neck, shrugged his shoulders with an almost lazy confidence, and turned on his heel like he was leaving a meeting, not a fight. 

“Let the boy fight himself,” he added over his shoulder. “I'm not about to waste my time on a pathetic little show just to stroke their fragile ego.”

–

(Benjamin)

Crashing waves, the roar of a crowd and his own heartbeat filtered into his ears: a roaring, never-ending, unofficial bellow from the depths of his soul. He wanted to scream, to let out the build up in his sternum.

Étienne Canét. He couldn't get over his proximity.

The last face they ever saw.

One second, he can see the crowd – and the next he was staring at the man who’d murdered his parents for their indiscretions: looking at him like the big bad that he was. And still, Benjamin could feel the fear running rampant through him.

There’d been a part of him, a very big part, that had sought revenge in his daydreams. Imagined this moment more than he could physically count – and yet, the minute was provided with it…he cowered internally. 

He might’ve looked older, but a part of that young boy had never been able to let go of it.

That face haunted him: a living, waking, walking nightmare.

Still, his fists, as if by muscle memory, balled at his sides.

And then his world tilted on it's side.

You want me to fight a child?

Benjamin couldn't control the contortion of his features, or the way he had to handle his lips from tilting into a snarl. A child. Was that what they'd always see him as? In reality, it was the best option for him...seeing Étienne turned around.

It took him seconds to deflate, before he found a feeling he knew from spending too much time around his boss...relief? He walked away, unwilling to fight. But did it hurt his ego? Yes. Did he want to run and hide as far away from the man as possible?

Yes.

But he knew the repercussions.

The boos followed, but Benjamin didn't look for Melissa. He looked straight to Lara, and prayed this wouldn't be reason for retribution for the loss of a fight...

"Fuck."

It only occurred to him as Étienne blended into the crowd that he'd had his chance-- and wasted it. But a voice came to mind, Gideon-- and he wondered if it was for the best. Or it was going to fuel that anger. "Offer goes out to anyone who wants to get in the ring with me."

It fell from his mouth before he could stop himself. Hands shaking.

This was far from over.

[flower-boi16]

What's your opinion on the overlords over all?

As characters or what they do for the world building?

As characters they are actually pretty good. They aren’t amazing but they aren’t terrible

The Vees are actually some of the better villains in Hazbin tbh. I’ve gushed about Velvvete before but Vox is legitimately interesting with how he initially keeps this cool, chill attitude to him which completely shatters once Val brings up the mere mention of Alastor, revealing just how much of a petty, childish asshole he really is. He may keep this facade on the outside, but deep down, Vox is just a petty childish asshole stuck in a rivalry with Alastor who he’s obsessed with one uping.

Now, that I think about it, Vox and Alastor’s rivalry is legitimately entertaining because it is essentially a petty childish tv headed asshole vs a calm, confident charismatic radio host who frequently pokes fun at the childish asshole. Stayed Gone shows this rivalry perfectly; with both characters’ verses being about one trash talking the other, though Vox’s verse is about how much better he is than Alastor and how Alastor and his medium are getting outdated, and Vox’s medium is the next best thing that everyone should care about.

He calls Alastor a “loser” “fossil” and a “coward”, which is pretty much just him baselessly insulting Alastor, and the “who gives a shit?” line pretty much communicates Vox saying “who even cares about him?”. Alastor’s verse meanwhile is, like I said, him poking fun at Vox for his childish insecurities and throwing in actual roasts into it as well.

Stayed Gone does a good job of showing the rivalry between the two, and like how Respectless does a good job of showing Velvvete’s personality, Stayed Gone does a good job of showing Vox’s personality and his rivalry with Alastor. Hazbin is honestly an improvement over Helluva in terms of antagonists.

It’s still not amazing (this is still the show that has Adam and Lute in it) but with characters like Velvvette, Vox, Alastor and Sera its a major step in the right direction since these characters have REAL DEPTH behind them beyond them being one-dimensional assholes.

Vox is an asshole but there’s actual DEPTH behind his assholery that characters like Adam or most of HB’s antagonists simply don’t have. The only real exception here aside from Adam is Valentino who is the least layered of the Vees. But even then he’s still leagues above characters like Crimson or Stella in HB.

Now, where was I…oh right the overlords as characters. Like I already said, I enjoy Alastor as a character. I like his charismatic personality and he has this mysterious air to him that makes him very intriguing as a character. I would like to see what they do with him in later seasons (assuming they dont find a way to fuck it up). Oh and Rosie. Rosie is cool. She’s neat.

And Carmila too I guess…? Carmila’s fine tbh. She’s a character that the show instantly expects you to care about the second she’s introduced in and she gets an emotional ballad that was completely unearned which hurts her as a character but she isn’t bad in episode 7.

So overall as characters so far the overlords are actually pretty good. But then there’s the world building part and…its bad.

The major issue with overlords world building wise is that it’s never really explained how a sinner becomes an overlord. I’m assuming it’s by gaining a high economic status and having a lot of souls, but like…how many souls do you need to own to become an overlord? How can someone gain more control over the area? Are you just an overlord when you have high economic status?? Do overlords rule over other sinners in the area?? What kind of power over their areas do they have??? What specific way can an sinner rise to power to becoming an overlord???

Ya none or this is really explained…its amazing how every time I think about viv’s world building I notice more holes in it.

So overall overlords are fine. Character wise their good, world building wise they suck.

[transitfever]

Mars Opposite Pluto — The Drama Just Got Real

No more jokes. Our party king, Mars in Leo, is now rattling the data vaults of Pluto in Aquarius. This aspect reaches its peak on April 27, 2025.

So, what is this about?

Mars in Leo is pride, confidence, and unapologetic energy. It's great when you need to act solo, make bold moves, steal the spotlight, or just go big. But it’s also the kind of Mars that overshoots, overpromises, and overdramatizes.

Pluto in Aquarius is the cool, analytical underlord. Detached. Collective-minded. Skeptical as hell. It demands transparency, truth, loyalty to higher ideals—but it gets tricky when those “independent forces” start consolidating around a nucleus of power. That's when freedom starts dressing up like control.

The conflict is painfully clear: Your grand gestures and self-branding efforts might go totally unnoticed—or worse, meet fierce resistance—if they fail to connect with the collective vibe. Aquarius doesn’t do soliloquies unless they become memes.

The win-win strategy for this opposition? Authenticity. Be your full multidimensional self. Drop the masks. Ditch the peacocking. Let your weird light shine. That’s the transparency Pluto-Aqua respects. And hey—Leo still gets the visual aesthetic.

Globally?

Two spicy celestial forces. Mars = loud, impulsive, slightly malefic. Pluto = mysterious powerbroker with a scalpel. No one agrees what Pluto even is, but its effects are undeniable: transformation, breakdown, exposure, systemic pressure. Paired with Mars? That’s a combustible cocktail.

Resume:

This is a collision of “being vs. appearing,” “owning vs. sharing,” “status vs. belonging.” Sounds simple, but here’s the twist: the real trouble brews on Pluto's side. The voice of reason can get weirdly preachy… or get drowned out entirely.

Don’t overthink. Act from authenticity. Stand by your tribe. Build your sovereignty, not your facade. If you’re a leader, be “first among equals.” Let your distinct moves define shared values.

This aspect will linger with us through May 4, so expect the friction to unfold in waves.

Tagline? Make peace with your power. Or risk it being weaponized by others.

[mktournament]

Finals!! Welt Yang vs Aventurine

(Propaganda below the cut)

Welt:

i don't care WHO welt gets paired with he needs to clear this. he gave up his childhood to take on the role of a heroic protector immediately after witnessing firsthand the deaths of his father and his important mentor at a young age. he's been alive for over 80 years by now and never once has he strayed from the path he set for himself. he's insanely kind, almost to a fault, and he's saved the whole of humanity on earth more than once. he's died and been reconstructed over and over and he quite literally bears the burden of everyone who lived before him within his own body. welt is the DEFINITION of selfless and he continues to do what's best for the universe as he travels

Aventurine:

The story does such a good job of diving into his character. Initially, he comes off as a cocky gambler that’s always scheming, but he his past is so tragic. He’s blessed with amazing luck, but that luck also brings tragedy. He’s the only one of his clan to survive, he’s enslaved, he falls into the hands of the IPC. Aventurine is not afraid to risk his own life when making his gambles and while he puts on a confident facade, he’s clutching his chips beneath the table. (He makes me cry)

[tohwitchesduels]

FIRST ROUND OF WITCHES DUELS - Battle 8: Bria vs Matt Tholomule

Disclaimer: This is not a popularity contest or which character you prefer, in this tournament, you decide who is stronger/better/smarter/etc. opponent.

Information for both opponents under the cut to those who don't know what they can do in their battle:

Bria:

Bria specializes in construction magic without any signs of being interested in other tracks, especially considering she considers them "inferior".

Bria has been always looking down and bullying Matt Tholomule back in Glandus. She's not going to take him seriously during this fight but it doesn't mean she will make it easy for him, especially since he dared to learn pathetic illusion spells in her eyes.

Bria is an absolutely skilled witch who prefers brute strength and talent over anything. She isn't however easy to fool or intimidate. She's daring and adventurous along with being ambitious. She can also be two-faced and deceitful by appearing nice and fair only to drop the facade the moment she has high ground or no interest in playing nice. She may however struggle from PTSD caused by Gus, so while she's not easy to intimidate, she could potentially end up being triggered by events considered "supernatural" or near Gus, or if she feels like losing her powers.

Bria is not known to possess any palisman so anyone facing her would also not be allowed to wield a palisman to even the score.

Bria's tool in this tournament, independent of whether or not other competitors also possess it is her sword. She can utilise it in combat or to cut through things standing in her way like bushes.

Bria may or may not have galder stones with her to enhance her magic.

Rock Spike - Bria is capable of creating a rock spike that can be used for offensive purposes. It is also proven to be quite destructive as seen in TTLGR.

Rock Pillar - Bria is capable of creating rock pillars of various lengths and sizes. She's also capable of creating pillars within the pillars she created. Said ability could be used if Bria needs a high ground, for defensive purposes to block attacks, potential transport, or even offensive purposes.

Earth Capture - Bria is capable of encasing her opponents on Earth as she demonstrated in TTLGR when she restrained a Slitherbeast. The move could be considered a finishing blow unless Bria's opponent has enough brute force (and by that, I mean a lot, stronger than Slitherbeast) to burst through her trap. She would usually utilise said ability if she assumes her opponent can't fight back, however.

Link to more of Bria's capabilities here

Matt Tholomule:

Mattholomule specializes mainly in construction and illusion magic.

Matt is known to be quite underestimated by those around him, but he does possess the skill, even if gloats to be able to bite more than he can chew. Matt is however pretty smart when it comes to the usage of his powers, even if he doesn't use them too offensively. He can however be pretty hopeless at times, being taken out easily if his opponents prove to be more formidable than him. He does lack drive and fighting spirit if he does not have confidence in his abilities.

Matt wants to prove himself and defeat Bria in this tournament, but he sure as hell is intimidated by the concept of having to duel with her.

Matt does not possess any known palisman, nor showcased any on the screen. Because of this anyone fighting him would also not be allowed to wield a palisman

Size alteration - Matt is capable of altering the size of any of his body parts. This displayed first during Covention with his head.

Construction Tool - Matt is capable of creating tools made out of earthen materials as displayed TTLGR when he created a key/blade to cut Gus free. This ability during battle can manifest as Matt is capable of creating any kind of tool or weapon to help him during the battle.

Geokinesis - Implied in TTLGR that Matt can telekinetically move earthen materials as displayed when he helped clean the graveyard by moving the broken parts of the statues placing them back and making them stick together. During the battle, Matt would be capable of throwing rubble at his opponents.

Rock Wall - as displayed in LR, Matt is capable of creating walls to block attacks. The walls are thin so can be broken through enough force, but Matt displayed pretty great reflexes with those walls and they are still fairly durable.

Rock Dummy - as displayed in FTF, Matt is capable of creating a rock dummy of himself to appear wherever he feels like it.

Camouflage - Displayed in its full glory in FTF where Matt made Amity completely disappear. During the battle, Matt can turn himself invisible temporarily.

Smokescreen - Matt is capable of releasing a smokescreen that can disorient his opponents.

Link to more of Matt Tholomule's capabilities here

Return to the Masterpost.

[multi-oc-tourney]

Free For All: ROUND 1

-----------------------------------------------------------

Julien

(he/him)

oc by: @raybluesock

Propaganda:

Julien H. A. Clark (he/him) is a charismatic bureaucrat with a surprising amount of intelligence and wit, along with a big ego to match. This is not helped by the fact that his co-workers fucking love this guy and will do anything for him. The same can't be said for the higher-ups. But his facade is much more fragile than people think. Sooner or later, it *will* break into pieces; it's just a matter of time... Julien has a degree in law, and knows a lot about computers, accounting, economics, and business too (no, he’s not a business major, but his dad was). He currently works as the secretary for a minister (the guy in charge of communications). But little does anyone know, the minister is so weak-willed and easily coerced that Julien pretty much controls him like a puppet through the sheer power of his reality distortion field™️ (and also lots of bullying). Julien is *very* charismatic, and is able to impress people with his confidence and bravado. The reality distortion field is strong with him. Julien is also very smart, and is extremely knowledgeable with the law, computers, history, science, acting, telecommunications, filmmaking, accounting, and business. However, for all his physical and mental prowess and strength of his reality distortion field, Julien is hampered by a severe lack of humility and empathy. His ego is even more inflated than the Hungarian pengő or Zimbabwe dollar, and this makes it hard for him to empathise with others, as he prioritises himself above all else. Julien is also very sensitive and vulnerable to criticism, and would lash out at anyone who criticises him as a way to protect his own fragile self-esteem. On top of all that, he doesn't know who he truly is or who he wants to be, and feels lost and empty and meaningless.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Tau Saturniidae

(any)

oc by: @funkylilomen

Propaganda:

She's a moth. She's got style. She has a weird relationship with her late mother. She's probably part of a cult. She has light magic. What's not to love? Tau is a devout worshipper of what he calls "The One True Light," and seems particularly interested in recruiting any other light manipulators into joining his totally legit religion. They also have a weird obsession with fire but it's probably nothing. Surely this doesn't lead to anything bad for xem in the long run.