#Crying without shame

[gdusil]

The Nietzseche herd who are embarrassed witnessing an outburst of human emotion represent the epitome of insecurity.

[her-soliloquies]

Being mostly only part of the jayvik fandom (and partly caitvi) means I get to bask in their undeniable romantic relationship (ofc you can also see it as platonic, just don't insist that it's the only way to look at it) while others fight over how Silco and Vander's relationship is as brothers and they can't be shipped and whether Jinx and Ekko are straight or bi or whatever.

[glitter50000]

See Hua Cheng himself is actually not pathetic but people would call him that if that makes sense

[oldfashionedmorphine]

mondays have become my new wednesdays (for wips) since i work on wednesday instead of monday now lol…so with that said, here’s a wip for my byler + henderhop 10 things i hate about you au :)

it’s much longer than i would usually share but i worked a lot on these scenes the past two days and i wish i could start posting this story already, but unfortunately i keep writing everything out of order and there’s a lot that still needs work for the first chapter 🥲 but for now, please enjoy my two favorite schemers; dustin and lucas <3

—————

“Dude, you’ll never guess what happened!”

“What?”

Dustin looks around at the bustling hallway. “On second thought—not here, too many ears,” he says, then he leads Lucas into the nearest bathroom. And Lucas sighs at him when he checks under the stalls to make sure the coast is clear first. “Okay, so get this—she didn’t say no!”

“Huh?”

“I asked Jane out and she didn’t say no.”

“Wait—she actually said yes?”

“Well, no—she still isn’t allowed to date, just like you said—but stay with me a moment, ‘cause here’s the kicker—her dad just changed the rules! She told me she can date once her brother does. Can you believe it?! All we have to do is find someone for him and then it’s a done deal!”

“Uh…we?”

“Yeah, well, I thought since I don’t exactly know enough people around here that maybe you’d have a better idea of who’d be up for such a challenge. ‘Cause Jane said Will’s kind of a—”

“Dick?”

“Yup,” he says, nodding. “So?”

“So, what?”

“Do you know someone who might be interested in dating a difficult guy?”

“Uh…yeah, so here’s the thing…Will’s—”

“Gay? Yeah, I know—Jane told me that already.”

“Right, but that’s the problem—I don’t know of any other gay guys in school. He’s kinda the only one.”

“Oh—shit. That sucks."

“Sorry.”

“No, no—it’s fine. Like every other problem there’s always a solution. We just have to think outside the box.”

“Uh-huh.” Lucas checks his watch. “Well, we only got five more minutes until class starts, so maybe we should—”

“Hold on, I just need a sec—it’ll come to me…” Dustin taps a finger on his bottom lip as he starts to pace back and forth while Lucas folds his arms and leans against the wall. Think, dammit—if no one else in this school is gay, and finding someone outside of town would be too much of a logistical nightmare to try and arrange, then how could we get this to work? It’s not like we can force someone to be gay…but maybe—maybe someone could just pretend—yes! That’s it! He snaps his fingers. “I got it! What if—what if we find a guy and we convince him to pretend he’s interested in Will?”

Lucas furrows his brow. “What?”

“Think about it—we don’t need them to actually be gay, they just need to pretend they are.”

“And how would you convince someone to do that?”

“Easy—with money. Everyone has a price, right?”

“I don’t know about that—would you fake being gay for money?”

“I’m not a potential suitor, so my own personal answer to that question is completely irrelevant to the point I’m making.”

“In other words; no?”

“What?! I never said that! All I’m trying to say is that there’s gotta be one guy in this school willing to date Will for a couple bucks!”

“Well,” Lucas shrugs, “I guess…potentially there is at least one guy I can think of who’d maybe be up for it if the money’s good enough—I mean, I don’t know him that well, I’ve just heard some stuff, so no guarantees—but I definitely don’t have enough money to convince anyone of anything.”

“Me either…” Dustin hums, then he snaps his fingers again. “Which means we’re also gonna need someone to help finance the operation—someone rich, but also stupid enough to believe it's all their idea. Know anyone like that?”

“Actually…yeah.” Lucas grins. “You remember Troy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, the other day after practice, I overheard him in the locker room talking with some of the guys…about Jane.”

“Oh yeah? What’d he say?”

“They were kinda ragging on him a little about how he’s never had a girlfriend and he mentioned that she was the only girl in school he was interested in and how much it sucked she can’t date anyone. So…it’ll probably be pretty easy to convince him to try and pay a guy to date Will if he truly thinks it’ll give him a chance with her.”

“Okay—yeah. We can work with that,” Dustin says. “Think you can get him on board?”

“I’ll talk to him during lunch, but we gotta get to class before—” the bell rings, “—and we’re late.”

“Shit. Sorry.”

“Man, you owe me a soda.”

🟦🟨🟩🟦🟨🟩🟦🟨🟩🟦🟨🟩🟦🟨🟩🟦🟨

Halfway through lunchtime, they get the ball rolling on their ploy with Troy.

Lucas hangs back for a couple minutes while Dustin gets into place. He slides into a seat at a table adjacent to Troy and his friends as nonchalantly as possible—Lucas told him the plan would work best if he didn’t hover, so the compromise was for him to sit within earshot while pretending to study his chemistry textbook. So far they hadn’t noticed him. He gives Lucas a thumbs up from across the cafeteria, then he watches as Lucas signals back before he moves to approache Troy’s table.

“Aye yo, Troy,” Lucas says with a casual upward nod.

Troy looks up at Lucas, seeming mildly annoyed at the intrusion. “Sinclair,” he replies.

“Got a sec?”

“For now. What’s up?”

Lucas takes a seat in one of the empty chairs. “So, uh…couldn’t help but overhear you talking the other day,” he says, then lowers his voice to a whisper and Dustin can barely hear him, “about Jane Hopper.”

He huffs. “Yeah, what about her?”

“I just…I had a thought—figured it couldn’t hurt to run it by you, you know, just to see if it’s something you’d be interested in.”

Troy shares a quick look with one of his friends—James something, from what Dustin can remember—then he looks back at Lucas, shrugging a shoulder. “Shoot.”

“Okay, so, basically, the situation seems to be that you wanna get with Jane, but her dad won’t let her date anyone until her brother starts dating, yet the odds of that ever happening are practically zero, since you’ve got two major factors working against you when it comes to Will Byers; obviously, everyone knows he’s gay, so the—”

“Are you planning on telling me something I don’t already know anytime soon, Sinclair?”

“Dude, let me finish.”

“Then spit it out already.”

“Hire someone. Pay a guy to take him out—ideally someone not afraid of a little challenge since he’s a bit of a headcase.”

Troy frowns, and when it seems as if a cat had got his tongue, his friend James speaks up, “Got anyone in mind?”

Lucas scans the cafeteria, then he points to the guy he told him about earlier—Mike Wheeler. “Him.”

“Frogface?” James says, laughing as he nudges Troy in the arm.

“Yup. He’s the one you want.”

“Okay, but why him?” Troy asks, brow still furrowed.

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but the word is that his parents cut him off after he got sent to juvie during sophomore year, so he’s always strapped for cash now—my friend Greg said he was even bragging to some guys in his English class about how he sold part of his liver on the black market to buy a new bass guitar last summer. So I highly doubt he’d say no if you make it worth his while. Plus, he’s clearly done way worse shit than having to date someone like Will Byers—just seems like a solid investment to me.”

“Right,” Troy says—he doesn’t seem convinced or all that interested. “If you say so.”

“Hey—all I’m saying is it can’t hurt to see if he’s willing. You’ve really got nothing to lose if he says no, but everything to gain if he says yes. He gets paid, you get laid—just sayin’.”

Troy’s face turns the slightest shade of pink. He glances around the table at his friends, then looks back at Lucas, nodding. “I’ll consider it…but why the hell are you even telling me this anyway? What’s in it for you?”

“Simple. You get Coach to let me start for finals. I’m tired of being kept on the bench until the last five minutes of the game in the hopes I’ll score him a Hail Mary. Because it’s complete bullshit. You know full well we wouldn’t even need a Hail Mary if he gave me more time on the court, but for some strange reason Coach doesn’t see it that way, and we all know you’re the only one who can change his mind—seeing as he’s your dad and all.”

“Fine. But I swear, Sinclair, you better not choke if—”

Lucas snorts, then he gets up from the table. “Trust me, I won’t…anyway, I’ll catch you ladies later at practice.” He starts to walk away and nods at Dustin, signaling him to follow him, and then they both head toward the cafeteria exit.

“Are we sure we can trust him though?” Dustin asks once they’re in the hallway.

“Man, I wouldn’t trust Troy any farther than you could throw him…but if he can’t convince Mike to take out Will, then it won’t even matter anyway. Right?”

“True…”

tagging some of my fans: @boahey @total-serene560 @magentamee @greenfiend @foodiewithdahoodie @smalltownwheeler @stranger-things-yapper

[story-book-sillies]

Btw the best thing you can do when you’re feeling sad is let yourself be sad.

I’ve been having a really hard time lately. I’ve been in and out of depressive episodes, feeling unloved and unwanted, having negative thoughts about by body/appearance, my anxiety is through the roof, and all around I’m just struggling mentally and emotionally. I have no time nor space to regress, and when I do, it’s involuntary which is scary because I’m a secret regressor. But one thing that has helped me immensely is allowing myself to be present through my emotions and just let myself be sad.

Being sad isn’t a bad thing. You are allowed to be upset. You’re allowed not to feel happy all the time because it’s human. I know there’s countless other posts like this one that talk about this but it’s true. And especially for regressors like me because regression isn’t always happy regardless of the stereotypes.

I grew up being told “don’t let your emotions get the better of you,” and “don’t be so emotional, it’s not something to cry about,” and yeah, there might be some truth to that. But like, you’re allowed to be sad about something even if the people around you don’t understand why it’s making you sad. Because it’s your sadness.

And if you feel like you’re in a place where it’s not safe to cry (the people around you shaming you for it for example) then release your emotions in a safe place. I cried in the shower today which was my very first time doing that, but as cliche as it sounds, it was so freeing. Because nobody could hear me and I could cry for as long as I needed to. I’ve also cried before bed. Pillows are a great way to muffle cries and dry your tears. If you can’t cry at home, go somewhere outside where you know you won’t be interrupted or bothered. Whatever works for you.

Just cry if you need to. Be sad if that’s what you’re feeling. And then pick yourself up when you’re ready. I promise that feeling your emotions and responding to them doesn’t make you bad or shameful. 🩵

[sukibenders]

The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.

[one-blaze-of--glory]

Ariana Grande not only being a great Glinda but also motherfucking gelphie shipper number 1 was genuinely not on my bingo card

[hermitsdump]

I shaved my head 4 times because I wanted to

then I did it one more time 'cause I got sick

and I thought I'd changed so much, no one would notice it

and no one did

[phoenixcatch7]

Where's that one post that's like 'as an editor, you come to learn that there are actually very few bad ideas. However, there are a near infinite amount of bad executions' because you will find this is very true of reading fanfiction as well.

[seraphim-soulmate]

when my roommates put things back in the kitchen incorrectly it makes me frustrated and angry. apparently, did you know, this is not a thing all or most humans experience ? some people don't have an intense emotional reaction to things not being stacked in the optimal way, or pans not being put back in their "usual" spot. did you know this. did you.

[twelverriver]

there's something just so humiliating about having adhd to me, because someone asks you do a simple thing and you're faced with a) the challenge to remember it b) the challenge to actually do it c) the humiliation and self-loathing if you can't do a) and/or b).

[sinnabunii]

Hunting dogs light novel when?

[mad0katsuki]

After process everything I overthink I’m totally fine!! Ig!!

[buckymorelikefuckme]

i open my mouth and immediately regret it, without fail.

[pynkhues]

https://x.com/pixielayer/status/1818003659675869381

since you're in your smut writing renaissance era... i'll just leave it here and hope it sparks the creative juice flow *wink-wonk*

(ok that sounded weird. i'm out)

Lmaooo, anon!! LOOK, I will keep it in mind.

[rowanthestrange]

i don’t think i ever went back and really fully grasped the meta (re: deep narrative details, not basic general) of the neo-neo-nazi strangling the doctor which was actually strangling himself