#Crack AU

[tealvneu]

Crack AU where Luke doesn't defect to Kronos because the day he was supposed to ask his father for a quest, he takes a trip out of Camp Half-Blood for a quick supply run for the Hermes Cabin — where he gets recruited by a scout for a model agency.

Fast forward a few years later, where Kronos begins to choose which demigods to recruit for his growing army. Except he gets stuck at the "recruiting Luke" part of his plan, because Luke is now a full-fledged model, and between walking the runway for Dolce & Gabbana and flying to Europe for castings, he's got no time for weird faceless dudes who keep trying to convince him to join his rebellion.

Kronos: Son of Hermes —

Luke: I don't care who you are, but you need to stop appearing in my dreams. I need my beauty sleep! People literally pay to see this face!! Are you going to reimburse me if I miss the Prada casting on Friday because of the dark circles you're giving me????

Kronos: ...

Kronos: Perhaps you do not understand your situation. I will reiterate —

Luke: No, it's YOU who doesn't understand. I've got a runway in eight hours in New York City, and then I have to fly to London for a photoshoot. And then I'm flying to France for Paris Fashion Week, and straight after that I'm heading to Milan for a casting.

Luke: I'm BUSY. B-U-S-Y. Fully booked!! Don't call me again unless your name is Anna Wintour.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (“it’s barely a bruise”), but Brucie obviously… can’t.

So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-

Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.

Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past this…

[mayday396]

Telemachus but his Friend is THE OCEAN, not Poseidon, but the formless being that Poseidon just so happen to "Inherit"

Pontus, the Greek Primordial God of the Seas, never made a humanoid form before, and talks as this disembodied voice in what can be described like a Deep Crashing wave/Eldritch Horror.

And he's mostly like, "CHILD OF THE ἸΌΝΙΟΣ WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CAUSE ΠΟΣΕΙΔΆϜOΝΟΣ (POSEIDON) MINOR INCONVENIENCES?"

[free-mints]

Deltarune Chapter 3+4 Spoilers

The true chapter 4 weird route where you get adopted as Noelle’s new hamster

[five-oh-first]

rots crack/fix-it au where somebody in the senate spread a rumour that palpatine was senile but anakin takes it very seriously. they’re at the opera and palpatine is all like “my boy, have i ever told you the tale of darth plagueis the wise?” preparing to be all evil but anakin is like “i don’t believe you have, your excellency” y’know in that tone that people speak ~encouragingly~ to kids and old people? palpatine is like ‘,:| not thinking too hard on it and continues his tale, but by the end anakin is like “wow, that sounds mighty interesting, your excellency. it’s getting late, why don’t we start heading home?” and palpatine’s evil plan is foiled because anakin believed he was an old man not fully in charge of all of his faculties, ending with a vote of no confidence

[bitzzoxl]

"I hate his stupid smile."

They both high-six and Bill noticed the way Ford smiles whenever they do. He hated it and found it stupid even though he cant stop staring at him. Now he can't stop thinking about that smile for the rest of the day.

Tehe was listening to Harvey by Her's while making this.

[appbilljuice]

Fudanshi Bill Cipher CrackAU ………

[justabeewithapen]

Au where everything is exactly the same except the player brought their dog.

[screwpinecaprice]

Alternate timeline where she didn't meet Steven. I may be exaggerating lmao

Yapping under the cut because I'm waiting on a line rn

Okey, so. Entertaining the thought: An introverted feral kid and a girl who gets a sort of high off adrenaline; but was taught to be polite and proper. You know, all that perfect girl stuff. We would also consider how her empathy level is questionable, based on how she just casually suggested cutting off his arm when it got stuck. (Still not sure if immediately being excited seeing swords is just amazement or 'OOH How convenient!') So perhaps she would learn to understand empathy in a practical (not sure if that's the word I'm looking for) way rather than in an emotional way.

Thankfully she was coaxed out of her shell and she had outlet early on. Also, to have genuinely learned friendship power! 😊

But what if she never got that outlet. 🤔 I mean, she could have gotten out of her shell in a different way. But, like. Imagine if she had to bottle it up all these years. It could go south or she'll be able to manage it because it ain't as bad. Just fun to think about the former.

She would be like: This thing I'm reading is SO morbidly interesting! I wonder what it feels like in a personal level though? Could I do it? Could I do it better now that I have the knowledge of foresight? But what if I still mess up? I can't have a negative record! And the curiosity and the adrenaline just mixes up together. Lol

Haha I'm not really seriously headcanoning that is exactly what's gonna happen. I mean at least not to an intense extent. It's so fun to think about.

[peapeapeapa]

I’m surprised there aren’t more Farscape+Stargate crossover fics/fanart considering they pretty much combined in the later seasons of SG1.

Here’s some art while I’m working on a ‘Daniel ends up in the Farscape universe’ AU fic

[grimdarling69]

Pt 10 Crack Au

"Jon?" His mother questioned in a concerned tone.

The green blob was held inside the reinforced glass for the scientists and other heroes to study. It called to him. A faint buzzing...it said his name...he had to reach it, then everything would be okay...he'd see Damian again. He wouldn't have to worry about the other heroes who traveled into the land of the dead on a suicide mission.

"Jon! What are you doing!" Kon shouted behind him, demanding but worried. He sounded like he was underwater, the voices...the beeping...the cries they were drowned put by the crystal clear words.

Come...he needs you, Jon-El, son of Kal-El

It spoke his name, his full name, not the human version but the kryptonian. It was powerful.

Jon!

His fingers moved on their own, reaching undettered by the glass shattering around him. He pushed past it, reaching out to the power, the voice. Just as his fingertips caressed it his he could feel his brother grabbing him, and for a second the voice went away Kon tried to pull him back but it was too late. Jon turned to look at him, tears on his face as if he were windblown. Kon looked scared. He was scared to...why was he chasing it? The thing that hurt his father... Why was he drawn to it?...why did it call to him?

"Let go! Jon!"

"I'm scared!"

"Just let go!"

"I'm sorry!"

It was too late.

He had already reached the center. The green raced up his arm, crawling, penetrative, it burned...but it felt...

----------------

"How much further?" Spoiler complained. "Despite popular opinion, my answer will not be changing no matter how many times you ask that." Red Robin answered her in return.

"It's been a week! We've been trapped on this stupid boat for a week!" Steph exploded her hands flailing around her as she stretched on the scratchy couch she half laid on in their shared cabin. The boat was larger than it looked, but it only had 8 cabins. More than most boats, of course, but for superheros...

A knock at the door intrrupted them. Tim looked up in slight confusion but yelled out an acknowledgment anyway. Wally poked his head in "WW and Bats called a meeting in the cellars again..." The younger flash looked...in a state of... true exhaustion.

Tim doubted he looked any different. What with only bathing with babywipes and only eating rations. Tim is really starting to hate the taste of granola...

"Twice in a fucking day? Asshole..." Steph grumbled around, choosing to dump herself onto the floor instead of standing up. Tim simply stood up and stretched, stepping over her convulsing body and walking out the door. Wally, Dicks best friend, now that Damian and Dick have both gone missing through a portal Luthor had forced Damian to help him create.

There were still so many holes in the story... Why did Damian call it the 'Fenton Portal'? What did Lex even write to Damian to get him to run away? They'd concluded that Luthor had picked Damian up off the bridge and had somehow found out about the Lazurus Pits and the demon brats' connection to it. But how did Damian even know what to create? Why didn't he come to them? How did luthor even get powers? How did he discover the pits?

"Where are they?" Batman questioned in his usual harsh and gravelly voice like Lex was like any other criminal. Lex Luthor, with Wonder Woman's lasso, tied around his wrist, meta handcuffs cuffed to the metal table behind the one-way glass, Tim could see Lexs left eye twitching.

"Somewhere safe." The-asshole fake philantropist with the seasonal of American Girl Dolls sent to him every month-grited out. The same answer he'd been giving when they asked about his location every single time. It, of course, only made Bruce madder. The man in question raised his fists and slammed on the table, shaking the table and the super-proof glass. If tim wasn't trained by the best, he might have flinched.

The door to his left opened. He didn't spare it a glance, for he was far too focused on Lexs response.

"My little badger was right about you."

He could feel ice tremble down his spine.

"Don't you dare! Talk about my SON like that!"

"You know he pratically begged me to take him away, away from you. When he told me about your identities, I was truly shocked. I had never even imagined Brucie Wayne could be the monsterous Batman."

"Trying to get a rise out of me by lying won't work, Luthor."

"How can I lie when your friend holds the leash of truth?"

Most of Lexs interviews were like that. Bruce barely let the guy out of that room. All lex did was rave about his 'little badger' it made him sick. The man had lost it. He was nothing like the man Kon used to complain about. The mild inconvenience at the best of times. The somewhat decent father back when Superman had his head so far up his ass he shot lasers out of his nose had quite literally lost his marbles. He had also somehow gained kryptonite-like powers? Bruce had been obsessive in testing the kryptonite-blast that had nearly killed Superman. The blast was unlike anything they'd ever seen before. It hit Clark in the chest, but unlike usual blaster powers, it stayed like kryptonite usually does, but when kryptonite is removed and taken away, Clark heals immediately unhindered. This time, even after the kryptonite was removed and he was exposed to the sun lamps, he didn't heal. It took a while, but eventually, he started healing, but he was in an induced medical coma when the team left. Jon and Kon wanted to go with them, but Bruce had banned them, not knowing if any more of the kryptonite powers could be used against them. Kon was easily convinced to stay behind, to stay with his father, only wanting to go because Jon fought tooth and nail with Bruce to go.

Zatanna had been their messenger between Earth and 'the realms' getting water and other things for them and keeping everyone updated. Like on Clark's condition, according to the best doctors earth and space have to offer, he should be waking soon. That's all they can hope for. As well as on Gotham, the girls sans Steph had stayed behind, Batwoman and Bluebird understood their reason for Bruce wanting them to stay behind. Cass... was in no condition to leave Gotham. Let alone be interdimensional traveling. especially to such a foreign place for them.

Cass had broken multiple ribs after being slammed into the metal walls by luthor. Which she could have recovered from quickly enough (read:ignored) but the force and the roll she took had puctured her lung and she had almost lost it...Safe to say Bruce benched her so long it might as well be forever. Like any of them listened to him anyway.

"Make way!" Stephanie pushed past him Duke hot on her heels, Tim sidestepped past their cat and mouse game. "Get back here!" Duke shouted, Steph's earlier prank of placing a small can of glitter paste above his door, rigged to fall on whoever opened it and judging from the purplely glitter paste dappling his hairline he'd just now opened his door for the first time in a while.

"Sorry, Red!" His brother shouted, flying past him. Hopefully, they'd calm down we'll before they reached Diana's cabin. Bruce never really appreciated Steph's way of cheering up people as much as Dick's.

Tim sighed. Hopefully, Bruce had good news. Despite the pranks and small humors... things had been quite depressing as of late. Bruce was highstrung, Diana was ever placating, but even her endless patience seemed to be wearing thin, the Flashs' increasing unexplained anxiety...

Things could be described as...tense. Jason wasn't really on speaking terms as of late. It reminded Tim of some of their first interactions after Jason came back. Jason and him had even been getting along lately. Not getting into huge fights, trying to kill each other, or even threatening it! Not just with Tim, everyone had been better... everyone but damian...Luthor had to get to him somehow...the letter...what did it say?

Until...all the progress with Jason's anger issues and disregard for them just vanished... after they discovered Luthor had taken Damian...

The point is that the family was falling apart. Alfred and Dick had personally held the family together for years, and neither were here now. Alfred was back home with the girls and Dick following Damian through the portal.

Constantine and Zatanna were sure they were here 'The Infinate Realms'. Tim is really starting to think this place is actually infinate.

"Red Robin." Cyborg greeted him at the entrance to Diana's quarters. Probably on the lookout for ghosts. Tim didn't feel like speaking much, so he simply nodded his acknowledgment and opened 'Pandora's box'. Poor choice of words, but it made more sense than anything else he could think of.

----------

"Are you sure you should be here?" Frostbite worried, Dick noted the subtle fidgeting with his claws.

"Of course. I need to make sure they leave." Dick answered voice smoother than he felt. Confidence, his best trait. Yeah right.

It's not that he hasn't missed his family... he very much has but Damian...Damian and little Ellie and Dante needed him more right now.

"Alright your highness, but I will do the talking. Yungblood is quite-well-spirited, but as are all children.."

"What about Pandora? How will she take being turned away?" Pandora was a warrior, an Amazonian, fierce and strong. If she took offense, they'd certainly be in trouble. Especially with Damian, he...wasn't aware of what they were doing anyway. Taking care of the kids was-exhausting-for both of them. Not that Damian wasn't any bad at all. Actually, he seemed quite skilled at it. Knowing what certain cries and tells the children have even as babies was a gift. Though Damian technically had a cheat sheet with being mentally bonded with them anyway. Apparently, ghosts and their ghostlings-particularly neverborns but sometimes adoption-as a safety precaution are linked in the kind like a tele-link but with feelings. If Dante feels sadness or hunger, then Damian can sense it-smell it or even feel it himself it it's that powerful. Likewise with Ellie, of course.

Nevertheless, twins were still exhausting. Tucker had taken the twins for a few hours. Dick is pretty sure he's just cementing himself as the 'best' uncle early on. Besides the point, they were getting one on one time with him in what Dick assumes is his cabin? He's really not sure where Tucker is staying or if he's just portaling back and forth from his castle? Who knows with him. He still hasn't answered him on whether his mom actually ate babies.

The giant glowing green pirate ship emerged from behind the giant floating ecto rocks. He could see a young green haired boy peering over the front of it, waving his sword in the air and shouting loudly.

"Frostbite! ALOHA!" The ghost enthusiasticlly shouted at them.

"Ahoy! It's a 'Ahoy Maties'!" The parroting his shoulder squawked indignantly. He's read Damians file on him, and he can't help but laugh. Interestingly, he can only be seen by children in the living realms.

He could see Pandora peak over as well. They shared a nod of understanding.

The ghost directed the ship to land on the snow where it wouldn't fall off or float away. Frostbite looked like he snucked a lemon, trying to direct the boy-captain. He kind of wonders how they still have that ship with many rocks and snowbanks he hit parking the giant thing.

He shivered all of a sudden feeling very cold. The runes on the old coat he borrowed from one of the yetis must have worn off. He was warned of them fading randomly, but he'd thought he'd have more of a notice before he'd be freezing.

"Are you all right, Princess?" Frostbite questioned, "Fine, just little cold. The runes wore off..." A sharp cold burst of wind raced through him, making his teeth chatter.

"Here.", the yeti took his long blue cape and wrapped him in it before he could protest he argued, "The great one would be very disappointed in me if you got a cold on my watch."

"Thank you, Frostbite." Dick resisted the urge to cuddle further in the large cloth. It reminded him of Bruce's...

"Of course -" the yeti began smiling softly at him. It's takes a special person to look so intimidating and scary but smile so kindly. Not in an unsettling way but like warmth. Like genuine.

"Cheif Frostbite. I'm glad to see you are in good health." Pandora jumped down from the ships' side, not even bothering with the ladder. She landed on her feet and stalked toward. Youngblood floated down, following after her excitedly. He can spot the admiration on his face for the Amazonian.

The window on the hull creaked, and he turned to stare at it. He squinted his eyes, letting the lenses on his mask that he put on for the first time since he came here zoom in on it.

Bruce. Batman

He could see his familiar shadow, and in particular the ears, they poked up out of his vague blob shape.

"I'm afraid the meeting must be canceled, my friends." The yeti bellowed casting his voice so even the ones hiding on board would hear.

"What, why?" The young ghost cried out obviously disappointed. He was never disappointed as a child when Bruce's meeting were canceled. When he was younger, whenever Bruce had meetings, just one would last for hours. Usually only when they were Justice Leauger but still. So whenever they were canceled, he'd just beg Bruce to do something with him cause he'd have hours of free time that he'd just used to work. If you looked up workaholic in the dictionary, both Bruce and Batman would be there.

He turned his attention back to the ghosts, but it was just both of them trying and failing to placate the young ghost. Which was a great way for him to sneak away and onto the ship. He resisted the urge to whistle while doing it. Not that they'd hear because Youngblood had started the crocodile tears. He's pretty sure the boy is faking it and just trying not to laugh, which he's actually doing a very good job at. Even he hadn't realized it was fake until the tears.

"Nightwing." Bruce gravely voice cut through the loud wailing, ever familiar. He sounded relieved, heavy. There were other heroes. The rest of the bats stood together, worry concealed but visible, he couldnt help but notice the empty space. Some of the Titans were there, well Vic and Wally, he couldn't see anybody else. Martian Manhunter, Flash Senior, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, John Constantine?...wow.

"Hey."

"Hey?" Bruce started anger evident on his face, "Is that all you have to say?" He could see concern and regret, and lines on his face seemed deeper. "You've been gone for months.." his father's voice cracked in the way he only ever heard it crack after Jason...

"I know and I'm sorry but-" he glanced outside the window, he could see the guards seated at the outpost running out of their post inland in the direction they came from...shit he'd wanted to atleast explain himself.

"You have to leave." His voice sounded firmer than he meant it, but he had to get them to leave.

"What are you talking about?" Tim questioned he and his other siblings had come to stand in front of Bruce. Bruce seemed deflated. He tried not to make it too obvious he was planning on jumping out the window.

"Where's Damian?" He tried not to freeze.

"He's fine." Dick said instead, "Both of you have been missing for months, Dick." Duke argued.

"Where is he?" Bruce repeated, pushing past the others.

"Rob?" Wally, his best friend since he was a kid. Who hadn't known his name for years or has no clue that he's been crushing on him for years and years too afraid of rejection and losing their friendship to ever even think of telling him.

"Nightwing. I urge you to listen to your family." Diana insisted, the other league memeber looked too unsure to say much. Only coming for numbers and strength, not for emotional issues.

"Rob, come on. Let us help you?" Wally attempted to grab his arm, but he reared back in time.

"Please."

He shook his head reached for the window and diving out.

"Dick!" He could hear wally and the others scream and rush towards the door.

"FROSTBITE!" dick yelled while he was known for falling from several tall heights and surviving, that was on concrete, not ice and snow. He'd probably slip and break an ankle, especially because he wasn't wearing the right boots for it. The yetis tried to get him to borrow theirs, but you can probably see why it didn't really work.

Frostbite took one glance at his precarious situation and dove to catch him. He had some time he really should have thought that through more...

"Thanks.." he whispered to giant. He suddenly didn't feel so well. The yeti looked at him in concern and adjusted his weight more.

"Release him." Bruce glided onto the ice, his cape rusting and settling behind him. the other flyers landing, but the ones who couldn't watch from the ships railing, back up.

"No, he is mine. You are not welcome here. Leave."

"Not without my sons." His dumbass father demanded probably sending signals to the other heroes to prepare for a fight. He tried to move his head to see them, but Frostbite tightened his grip, clearly worried about fighting 'the great one's' family.

"You will not have them. Leave, or we will remove you with force." Frostbite growled at them, clearly getting frustrated with them. Which is actually a feat he usually wad the definition of patience and virtue but to be annoyed frustrated? Something was happening, and Dick didn't like it one bit.

He'd investigate it as soon as he takes a nap. Just one.

------------

After seeing the ice giant capture Dick they'd rushed down, but the giant refused to let him go and insisted on them leaving.

Bruce was about to give the signal to attack when his feet were captured by glowing green vines...

"Hi Batman. Funny seeing you here." Superboy, jon, joked. His eyes were glowing more purple than he'd ever seen them before. His suit was ripped, and the colors had shifted into a mix of black and dark purple. Ripps up and down the suit, his cape flared behind him with holes burnt into it. And ash sticking to him.

"Superboy." He acknowledged his quick assessment, looking around was he wasn't the only one captured but the only one without a vine stopping from talking. Which meant he needed something from him.

"It's Evergreen now, actually." The boy looked bored more interesting in the dirt underneath hai nails than him. Or at left, he was trying to make Bruce think he was. But nothing gets past Batman.

"I suppose you're the 'poisonous thorns,' aren't you?" The boy smirked eyes narrowing. He dropped his hand and waling up to him, getting closer.

"I suppose you would know. What with Poison Ivy." The boy seemed to laugh at his own jokes.

"Take our mutual friend inside, please, Frostbite." He shouted behind his shoulder. The yeti turned around and walked away with his son still in his arms. They wouldn't get away with this.

The boy leered at him, taking a few steps back and studying the other heroes. He put his finger into his pocket and drew out a beautiful whistle-like miniature flute with strange symbols and runes across it. It looked like it was made out of bone.

He blew into his inciting no sound at all. It was quiet to quiet. Dog whistle. Or something bigger.

"Goodbye."

[ghost-bxrd]

*rubs hands together, slams palms on table*

Okay, you guys heard of “Jason inherited the adoption problem and now Tim is baby”, now get ready for…

Reverse!Robins, where Jason tries to steal from newly minted crime lord Tim and gets flash adopted before Batman can claim another one for his child soldier team!

[zirasposts]

Crack au where SY transmigrates to PIDW yes.... But its PIDW the musical! This guy would be so fucking confused at first and then kinda facinated because for example what do you mean while singing in a dramatic moment strenghtens qi and the dance sequnses are actually a moving meditaation teachnic.

Its so facinating and so stupid like where the hell does the background music Come from?!

Also the singing can also be used as for intimdation its like an opressive force. Also the funiest part of all this shit was airplanes fever Dream he wrote down for shits and gigels and he was also very confused when he first saw it happend.

(note that i know nothing about musical theory and can only play a little bit piano and quitar)

Also on the background music when SY transmigrates Mu Qingfang and Yue Qingyuan can imidietly tell that something changed.

It is still the same melody but the instrument has changed to a something maybe a difrent version of the instrument the original had. like going from erhu to a viola or from qupin to some other string instrument

Theres also notes of echoing bells (the system)

On other hand Lqg's themes main instrument instrument is a heavy drum.

And for binghes would be some kind of wooden flute most likely a that evolves into something that has a low impousing pitch

So when jinlan city happends its full on herror movie sound track/sqq: huh why am i hearing creepy boss music

... Did my precious brain Child go from crack to crack treated seriously. Huh weird.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

AU where Jason didn’t die and is smol still and everything is just peachy and everyone else still shows up on schedule and maybe the Joker died of “natural” causes and things are generally going pretty well.

And then there are Flash Time Shenanigans™️ or someone punching a hole in reality or whatever, and Jason wakes up one morning having grown fourteen inches and gained ninety pounds that’s pretty much all muscle and no one really knows what’s happened but what can you do except roll with it.

Also Jason now keeps bonking his head on the top of the car when he gets in and has to find some good explanation for his college advisor and the other five hundred or so people that are going to ask him if stress-induced meta powers are a thing because it’s two weeks until finals and they’ll take any hope they can get.

Tim is doing so many calculations to see if something like this might happen to him too. It will not.

Anytime thereafter they meet any of their alternate universe counterparts the number one thing that has everyone else’s jaw dropping is the revelation that Jason was, for a good couple of years at least, shorter than Tim.

[luca-the-star-child]

Dp X dc prompt

Danny gets kidnapped by the joker

The joker is doing this Live on TV, to gwt The attention of Batman.

He is doing his villain monologue

" -you know? It so crazy that-"

" Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy?-"

When the Batfam arrives the Joker is crying on the floor while in the fetal position, Danny is still going at it, and he is not stopping any time soon

[sonofcurz]

The Horus heresy but they are all just McDonald's employees and Horus is the assistant manager that burned down the establishment in the absence of the manager (Big E)