#General discourse

[velvetvexations]

Hi!

I have a question, idk if youre the right person to ask it to, I just predict if I ask in general it might turn into a tma/tme dick measuring contest and im not interested in that. I hope you can help or might know where to send the question.

Context is that Im in a new fandom space, and Ive quickly noticed everyone - I dont love this terminology but Im sure what would be more accurate - was, assumedly, afab. There are cis women, genderfluid and multigender people, transmascs, trans men, other nonbinary folks. No cis men, no out transfemmes, no assumedly amab people.

I + others have noticed a fetishization of cis gay men and cis gay sex. I havent seen anything that looks like transmisogyny. I have seen some casual "men suck" kind of language.

Also caveat this is currently a theoretical question because I have very little power in this space.

But Ive noticed this weird demographic pattern. How do I look for why, apparently, no one amab of any identity feels comfortable in this space? (There also doesnt seem to be anyone openly intersex). And if I did have the power, how would I/others go about making the space more welcoming?

I see the disparity, idk what can be done about it or who to ask, without it becoming a broader question of who has it worse which I dont think is a productive conversation. I just want to know how to identify the obstacles and how to remove or adjust for them, assuming I had the power.

Please and thank you?

In my experience there are just more people AFAB in fandom spaces in general, especially here on Tumblr. The reasons for that are complicated, but I don't think it's that people AMAB are unwelcome.

[cdd-safe-haven]

A history of trauma can make peace feel like boredom

I'm bored.

Are you bored?

Maybe you're unsettled, unsure, anxious, or irritable

Maybe sometimes it feels like boredom

Why?

My entire life I searched for peace and calm, and I've always been told that happiness will follow it

So why am I unsatisfied?

Dr. Nicole LePera said this:

When leaving trauma cycles, expect to be bored. That’s a good sign. You’re leaving the cycle of emotion addiction:

When we’re used to cycles of chronic stress, drama, and overwhelm, we get stuck in fight or flight. Cortisol and adrenaline are a constant in the body.

We subconsciously seek this environment to feel alive or “like ourselves”.

...

When the body is coming out of chronic nervous system dysregulation, there is a transition phase. No longer getting constant spikes of cortisol we might feel bored, restless, or irritated.

Boredom is healthy. It does take some getting used to. You’ll be surprised at how much you subconsciously feel a pull towards emotional activation.

...

We have not evolved to be in cycles of chronic stress that never end.

It will be unfamiliar, at first. Soon, it will feel like peace.

Many trauma survivors report a vague sense of emptiness and boredom when they are not angry, under duress, or involved in activities that activate emotional responses. Reexposure to trauma is known to act as a pain reliever, equivalent to 8mg of morphine.

We crave the release of dopamine and endorphins that follow stress, something we're used to and understand-- something that makes us feel alive and active

The question then becomes,

Are there healthy ways to engage with activities that give you that "kick"?

I'd like to think there are.

Mindfulness, attention to the people in your close inner circles, and frequent breaks are just a few small steps.

Does anyone have any tips or stories? Maybe another perspective?

[problematic-fodlan]

This is what happens when people act like shipping is activism. Everyone's allowed to like the pairings they like, it's all just entertainment at the end of the day. Preferring M/M ships over F/F isn't remotely equivalent to excluding women from RL queer spaces. And personally I don't pick my ships based on what looks more progressive, but maybe that's just me. *shrugs*

-

[queermasculine]

i simply do not believe that transgender people with weird gender identities are ever the problem

[matcha-omega]

EVIL TRANSMASC

A flag for when you're EVIL and transmasc

EVIL Color meanings:

Red: The BLOOD of transandrophobes. also for EVIL gnc transmascs yay yippee yay :3

Cyan: Our TWISTED agenda (supporting our fellow transmascs and the trans community as a whole)

Navy Blue: Our SCARY masculinity/manhood

Blueish Black: Our DARK brotherhood

[neolunanocte]

If ya create an environment where people don't feel safe to explore and engage in self discovery; Don't be surpised when they end up overtly defensive and/or radicalized.

[bixels]

oh before i forget, here's the design i did for luiz (male lois lane). i might do other characters like jimmy and perry white and luthor and zod. let me know if you’d like to see them get their genders bent.

anyways yeah, enjoy this twink, i'm gonna go get a burger.

[lastoneout]

> them: our community is trans inclusive

> me: is it actually trans inclusive or is it just adhering to the gender binary but with trans people forced into the same ridged expectations and assumed positions of power or vulnerablility that cis people are?

> them: what do you mean

> me: *pulls out a chart explaining how gender essentialism is inherently harmful even if you count trans men and women as men and women because the very concepts of man and woman under this framework are so restrictive and reductive that they can not account for the diverse and complex intersectional experiences of trans men/women(or even marginalized cis people) and will also never be able to make a space safe for intersex, nonbinary, and multigender people*

> them: haha it's trans inclusive ma'am- I mean they

> I look inside

> it's ridged adherence to the gender binary

[sweetbananachips]

top/bottom discourse in the Good Omens fandom is so funny because

1. they’re immortal beings who have been alive for 6,000+ years— they are bound to switch

and 2. how do i know one of you isn’t michael sheen???

[velvetvexations]

I bring a sort of "all these rules are labels are made up and if it makes sense to the person using it for themselves that's really all that matters" to the queer community that the separatist bigoted queer ppl don't really like.

handshake

[glitter-stained]

"why does fanon love making Jason care about his goons when he kills them in canon" I'm sorry to tell you that Jason's Robin run is a significant work for his characterization. And that Willis Todd was in fact a goon. Like, that's a significant thing that happened.

(jaybin fans exist not every Jason fan is a hardcore UTH fan who thinks everything about Winick's writing is pure and just and the right way)

[problematic-fodlan]

Dear FE3H fandom.

Please do not support generative AI programs, chatbots, or any AI system that steals from hard working fan artists and fanfic authors.

-

[fixing-bad-posts]

I don't care. I don't care. AI entertainment without anything in it. could it hurt? yes. By using AI the investors make money on theft.

[the-agent-of-blight]

also, i really find it interesting how people can genuinely go about saying "Well this group isn't attacked for their identity so they can't be queer " while then turning around and. attacking said group. for their identity. and exemplifying classic __-phobic tropes. It's really dumb. You are being the thing that you claim does not exist

[mxmollusca]

Fandom question:

[maladaptivewriting]

i think there is something interesting about seeing so many people harp on the dangers of writing dark subjects (moral wrong or illegal things) and how almost every single one of them is a minor. like ill see these intricate posts about how writing about SA or incest is wrong because it "encourages people to do it in real life." i've always thought this was a bad argument, but it's fascinating to me that so many young people truly believe that writing an incest fanfic is going to cause someone to engage in incest irl.

obviously this is a much bigger issue, especially with the pro-censorship and anti-shipper crowds, but it does make me wonder what about the current youth makes them so restrictive or conservative that immoral art can't even exist without it being the detriment to our society.

i am not going to encourage anyone to follow the fandom motto of don't like, don't read because i honestly don't think that's helpful here. the issue isn't that they're engaging with art they know they're not going to like, it's that they believe anything immoral should be punished and that thirst for punishment and condemnation is worrying.