#trauma processing and dealing

[cdd-safe-haven]

A history of trauma can make peace feel like boredom

I'm bored.

Are you bored?

Maybe you're unsettled, unsure, anxious, or irritable

Maybe sometimes it feels like boredom

Why?

My entire life I searched for peace and calm, and I've always been told that happiness will follow it

So why am I unsatisfied?

Dr. Nicole LePera said this:

When leaving trauma cycles, expect to be bored. That’s a good sign. You’re leaving the cycle of emotion addiction:

When we’re used to cycles of chronic stress, drama, and overwhelm, we get stuck in fight or flight. Cortisol and adrenaline are a constant in the body.

We subconsciously seek this environment to feel alive or “like ourselves”.

...

When the body is coming out of chronic nervous system dysregulation, there is a transition phase. No longer getting constant spikes of cortisol we might feel bored, restless, or irritated.

Boredom is healthy. It does take some getting used to. You’ll be surprised at how much you subconsciously feel a pull towards emotional activation.

...

We have not evolved to be in cycles of chronic stress that never end.

It will be unfamiliar, at first. Soon, it will feel like peace.

Many trauma survivors report a vague sense of emptiness and boredom when they are not angry, under duress, or involved in activities that activate emotional responses. Reexposure to trauma is known to act as a pain reliever, equivalent to 8mg of morphine.

We crave the release of dopamine and endorphins that follow stress, something we're used to and understand-- something that makes us feel alive and active

The question then becomes,

Are there healthy ways to engage with activities that give you that "kick"?

I'd like to think there are.

Mindfulness, attention to the people in your close inner circles, and frequent breaks are just a few small steps.

Does anyone have any tips or stories? Maybe another perspective?

[deservedgrace]

sometimes you're in your feels about religious trauma stuff and feeling like you'll never really recover and then you come across some shit from when you were first leaving the fold and it's like..... you know what actually at least it's not that bad anymore lmaooo

[corviddrawsstuff]

actually heartbreaking to me that once Skizz fell off the edge of the platform, Grian knew he was gone. didn’t bother to move, or scream, or check. he couldn’t bring himself to look because he didn’t want to see what was left of his friend :(

[rna-world]

we don't need easels or CRTs

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Therapeutic

New drabble drop. The awaited conversation between Dream and Ccino. @spotaus you ready for another gut punch for Dream my friend :D

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

no edit or beta! :D

*-------------------*

Dream tugs on his vest as he glances at the cafe door.

He sees more people leave. As they have been for the last half hour.

It is fine! There is no reason to be nervous! He is just going to visit a place where someone works and lives who may have been kinda friends with Dream's brother!

The same brother that Dream has been actively working against because he was so convinced he knew better what was going on and instead of talking to his twin Dream decided it was smarter to trust other people's opinions who Dream had only known for a while and who were not close to his brother at all!

The same brother that seems to have disappeared and who Dream is no worried sick about while everyone around him celebrates his disappearance! Again because Dream messed up his job!

Dream leans against the wall and tries to calm his racing soul "it is fine. it is fine. it is fine. the worst that can happen is him telling you to get the fuck out and never return." which would include dream losing his one possible lead to find his brother.

Happy thoughts.

...

Dream shakes his skull. no. No forced happy thoughts. that is part of the reason he is struggling this much now.

Dream takes adeep breath and mutters to himself "let the fear be there. let it be with you. but don't let it consume you. don't let it keep you from doing what you wish to do." a bit of an exercise that Blue's Undyne had thought of for him. As she also struggles mentally with quite a few things.

Dream nods to himself and slowly nears the door to the cafe. a glance inside. just to make sure he isn't still busy. damnit the cafe is empty.

Well! Here goes nothing and everything!

He pushes the door open.

Ccino looks up and speaks with a practised smile "Welcome to the Cuddly Cat-" he stops and stares.

Dream tries to look calm but can't help himself as he slowly raises his hand and gives it a tiny wave.

Ccino's shock transforms into a glare as he hisses out "Well if it isn't the god that didn't even bother to read his own job description.".

Dream can't help but start laughing. It is almost a relieve! so many people had been trying to cheer him up and reassuring him that everyone messes up and that what he did wasn't that bad. It is so much better. He hadn't realised how badly he wanted at least one person to actually hold him accountable. To actually look him in the face and just straight up tell him he messed up.

Dream smiles brightly at Ccino as he answers "I know right? I made a mess of things… It is just…" he takes a deep breath. the hard part. Why he came here and hoped Ccino would have info. Because over the last few weeks a memory had suddenly stood out to him. cats who all looked and acted so much like others who Dream knew "I heard you have... very special cats and i was hoping to meet them?"

Ccino hesitates. Ccino keeps glaring at him but then his sight turns slightly and Dream can see him eye a piece of paper. Dream glances at it and sees his own pamphlet. He had left them in every universe he could think of to give everyone a quick update.

It is still a lot of work to continue clean up all the hatred he had unknowingly spread and promoted but it was a start.

Ccino sighs but he waves him over "make sure to turn the sign to closed please."

Dream blinks before smiling brightly as he does just that. he steps fully inside and turns the sign.

Ccino goes around quickly and closes the curtains and everything. Then he walks over to a table and just takes a seat.

Dream joins him at the table and smiles "thank you so much for doing this."

Ccino huffs as he leans on his fist "I figured you would keep bothering me otherwise."

It hurts to not be trusted nad Dream wonders if Nighty had to feel this daily. First in their own universe and than still in the multiverse. for over 500 years. actually being able to feel how everyone hated and distrusted him.

Dream rubs his hands "I... i would have respected a no... if you want i can still leave." he doesn't want to lose this chance... but he can't make stuff even worse. He just misses his brother so much. had missed him for so long already.

Ccino just waves it off and looks at him expecting.

Dream swallows and looks around the cafe for a moment before looking back at Ccino "I... i remembered that some of your cats were... special... in their looks and acting.. .and I was wondering... is it a coincidence or..."

Ccino snorts as he leans back "Yes. they are counterparts to other outcodes and important players in the multiverse. No i don't specifically look for them or get them or make them." he rolls his eye lights "They just show up at my front or back door and i let them stay. Sometimes some leave again."

Dream gives a slow nod and manages to gather his nerves "is... is... Is my brother's? Is my brother's cat okay? I... I can't remember seeing his cat and it is my brother! He is a god he has to be important and be here at least." he can't keep the desperate hope in anymore.

Ccino shrugs "being a god doesn't necessarily mean they show up here. it would be rather busy in here otherwise as there is a surprising large number of gods." he huffs and dream can hear Ccino mutter "with multiple universes completely focussed on making gods and having gods."

Dream alughs and nods "that is fair... it is just... i remember seeing a cat that was.. well... me.... I figured.. .there is no way that i would be there and not Nightmare."

Ccino snorts and grins "Every protagonist needs an antagonist after all."

Dream glares at the table before shooting him a glare "no not like that!"

Ccino tilts his skull and grins "relax. Antagonist doesn't automatically mean evil or anything. it means they are someone who goes against the protagonist and their goal." he shrugs "seeing as we both know nightmare had been right and you were wrong. he was still the antagonist in your story."

Dream shakes his skull "he wasn't!"

Ccino glares at him "it isn't like you left him any other role to play."

it hurts so much to know that and Dream glares "i know! Okay?! I know I messed up. I just want to find him and apologise. i need to tell him i am sorry and that he was right." that Dream lvoes him. that he is sorry. and that... that it is okay if nightmare hates him... that dream would deserve that but dream needs to make sure that nightmare knows he is sorry. that Dream regrets everything and is trying to make it right again.

Ccino stares at him before sighing and getting up. he walks towards the cattree and Dream feels his hopes fall. he is going to be send away... not even a single clue and-

very angry cat meowing as Dream watches his own counterpart cat be pushed into a side room and the door to close. Next ccino goes to the counter. He dips behind it and Dream hears a cabinet open.

After he hears panicked meowing as Ccino rises again. in his arms a large cat. maybe a main coone? but Dream feels himself start to hope as he can spot four large tails and one slow blinking cyan eye.

That is... oh fuck... that actually is!

Ccino wlaks over as three cats follow him on the ground. Dream looks at them and it is pretty obvious it are Killer, Cross and Horror. Dream wonders why they are following when he sees the cat and feels his soul grow cold.

Nightmare's.... his cat looks sick and tired.

Ccino sits in a chair closer to Dream as he gently pets the cat. Nightmare's cat purrs and leans into the touches.

Killer's cat jumps on the table and meows loudly before marching over to Ccino's side and nudging his arm. Ccino stops with petting and Killer's cat stands partly in Ccino's lap to nuzzle and clean ngihtmare's cat.

Dream looks at ccino "waht... why is he...?"

Ccino answers softly "sick? tired? older? I don't know. I have no idea what caused this..." he loks so sad as he pets the cat "I never saw anything like this before..."

Dream remembers his own weakening powers. the way he had been slowly but surely loosing his own powers and magic as he has lost his domain.

This confirms it... Nightmare's also lost his... but he was being kept alive by said magic and powers.

Dream raises a shaky hand "can i... cna i try to heal him?" anything. please let him try.

Ccino looks very unsure and loks at the cats before looking back at the door where Dream can hear his own cat version scream its head off.

Ccino sighs and nods "you can try. nothing the vet did seemed to help him much. he is just... much older now according to him."

Dream still tries. he first pets the cat gently. the goop feels strange but comforting. Dream never thought he would think of the goop like that. he had believed for so long that the goop had taken his brother from him. that it was something to be removed. But if the goop was just the apples magic trying to keep him whole? How could dream hate it? How could he hate something that saved his brother?

Now it is his turn.

He holds his hand near the rib cage of the cat and he can see NGihtmare's cat shoot him a suspicious look.

Ccino chuckles "i wouldn't touch a cat's belly if i were you. that is a very strict no-touching zone for most of them, no matter who you are."

dream shoots him a smile "that is okay. i wasn't going to touch him there." and even if he wouldn't mind too much. he focusses the little magic he still has and tries to heal the cat.

His magic doesn't touch anything that could be healed. according to his magic everything going on wiht the cat is natural and normal. there is nothing to heal.

Dream frowns as he pulls his hand back and looks sad at nightmare's cat. Dream can't even help him like this...

Ccino sighs but seems unsurprised "I figured as much... don't feel bad. the vet already tried healing magic himself. I just try to make sure he can relax and rest."

Dream frowns at the door "why keep... my cat version away from him?" doens't he hear how desperate his cat is calling for nightmare's?

Ccino looks to the side and shrugs "i mean... before when these two got near each other your cat would... well... attack... all the time. It was saver for both to keep them seperated. and now wiht him weaker... I just didn't want to risk it." ccino pets the old cat.

Dream's hand forms fists as he glares down. his sockets itch with tears but he forces them in. this isn't about you. this isn't about you. your brother is dying somewhere. this isn't the time to make this about you or your pain. you don't even have the right to feel the pain. you are part if not the whole reason this happened.

Ccino gets up and takes nightmare's cat with him again. Dream wants to stop him. beg him to just let him hold his brother's counterpart. if only for a little while. but he doesn't.

Dream remembers how his own aura and the goop could get when they met in battle. he doesnt want to risk making it worse.

ccino returns to their table. also the other three following him gone again.

Dream feels hopeful and stares at him "his... his gang cats stay with him?"

Ccino blinks but grins "yeah. all the time. there is always at least one wiht him."

Dream sighs and smiles "that is good... that... that should mean he has them with him now right? that he isn't alone?" at least?

Ccino shrugs "it means there is no animosity between them all. that they all care. that is all i am sure about."

drema nods and rubs his arm "why... why don't people remember this? I get why you don't tell but how come no one notices?"

ccino shrugs "i am not sure how. people just don't. if anyone is willing to hurt someone within the cat group? they just.. don't notice or remember. it is why i am even willing to have this conversation. you remembering implies you won't hurt him."

dream feels himself relax and nods "i won't" never again.

Ccino nods "i figured... but that is what i know. i don't have any othr information for you."

dream smiles "that is okay... he is alive... and most likely not alone. that is more than i knew before." he may not be able to find nightmare fast. but he has a place where he can go to check if nghtmare is still alive. and then while he waits for their meeting. Drema can work on himself.

He can work on teaching the multiverse the truth and find his own calling.

Dream can work on his own trauma nad heal.

All while he searches for his brother.

This? This just showed that it isn't too late. His brother is still somewhere and there is time to fix this mess.

It won't be easy. but he can fix this. and that gives him hope.

*-------------------*

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[thethingaboutfantasy]

For the severance enjoyers that are also the DA enjoyers

Do we remember some of the conversations with the Tranquil? Where they say they imagine getting turned back would actually be... You know... quite bad with what they've experienced?

[earthspark-shockwaves-reduction]

actually I find it so funny that they made a whole new bot named aftermath instead of actually showing the aftermath of s1

[rubbership]

i dont really believe non traumatized people exist. thats why the idea really rubs me the wrong way. a non traumatized system implies you think you have.... no trauma ? i dont know what that means. i dont know what you think a non traumatized person looks like but i don't know what that looks like or what youre expecting me to imagine. youve never experienced trauma? ever? youve never experienced trauma???

[waitineedaname]

sqq might be the one famously known for repressing everything but it's kinda crazy to me that binghe spent 3 years in the abyss facing unimaginable amounts of gore and violence and whatnot and we know nothing about that. it's worse when you think sqq is absolutely never touching that topic either so it's never going to be brought up unless binghe accidentally lets something spill over like

sqq: ah it's so hot today! what an awful weather! it feels like I'm melting into a puddle right now, am I?

binghe, distracted by sweaty shizun: no shizun, you would've noticed if you were melting, it's rather painful. speaking from experience

sqq:

binghe: smells bad, too

sqq: hey binghe. what the fuck

SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE 😭 you're absolutely right though, whatever he went through in the abyss must have been absolutely fucked but he just. doesn't talk about it! I also wonder if part of the reason sqq never brings it up is like. because he already knows? I would assume the endless abyss was a pretty significant chunk of pidw, so he probably has some idea of what binghe went through in the abyss and also knows that binghe probably does not want to talk about it. though I suppose that then that could potentially lead to an alternative version of this interaction like

sqq, on the brink of heat stroke and not really thinking about what he's saying: ah, it's so hot today! I feel like I'm melting into a puddle right now! though I suppose you'd know all about that

binghe: w. why does shizun know I got melted once.

sqq:

binghe:

sqq: lucky guess?

[shiutsu]

Just heard the worst take ever..

That apparently it's fine to send a stranger to a psychward or say very weird things just cause they're really expressive about hating humanity/ open about their ruined life even if they make valid points.

Yet it's fine if someone keeps claiming how beautiful & flawless they are..but if it's the other way then it's a warcrime? Yeah get out.

Like if you ever read someone being misanthropic & they express how repulsive people are to them & get offended, then you're the problem, cuz no one's directly attacking you & you're getting bitchy over nothing 💀

[deservedgrace]

can someone confirm to me that i'm not being punished for leaving the faith

[frozenartscapes]

What crossover do you think would be the coolest/funniest/saddest for FE3H? ATLA? Sailor Moon? Etc.?

So... This may not be what you're thinking, but I recently had an AU idea (that I probably won't write but I just want to share). Having recently watched the Wild Robot, I had a thought:

Hegemon Edelgard as Roz

Ok, so the story would have to change a fair bit, but essentially, following the events of Azure Moon, it is revealed that Edelgard survived and escaped into the forests of Adrestia. She's not completely transformed - think her more human form in Heroes - and she has to come to terms with this. This transformation has not only altered her body, but she now has new abilities she needs to learn. On top of trying to survive in the wilderness, she also has to process the fact that everyone she knows and ever cared for is dead.

She's alone, in the wild.

Being half beast allows her to understand the other animals, however none of them are especially welcoming to her at first (and she isn't either). On top of that, she has new instincts she needs to fight and is completely lost on what her new motivation should be. (Which is a problem in itself because Edelgard's primary coping mechanism for all of the trauma she's faced in the past is to double down on a big goal - something to keep her mind occupied so she doesn't run the risk of thinking too hard about just how much her heart actually hurts. The old "if I stop and think about this for more than two seconds I'll go insane" trope.)

Then, through a series of events involving having to defend herself from an angry demonic wolf and haphazardly thrown fireballs, she hits an eagle nest. To her horror, she discovers the family has all died - except for a single egg. To stop herself from becoming completely consumed by guilt, she decides to take care of the egg. It hatches soon after, and taking care of an egg turns into taking care of the chick inside.

She meets other animals and forms bonds with them along the way. A solitary raven she saves from a trap, who decides he is in eternal debt to her. A songbird who offers the most advice in how to raise a baby bird. A stag who is always trying to challenge her at first, until he realizes she makes a better friend than competition. A wolf who teaches her how to properly hunt and fend for herself in the wild. A mouse whose kindness outweighs her terror to show comfort to Edelgard when she was obviously on the verge of a breakdown. A badger who takes it upon himself to fight off any predators who may try to harm them, no matter the size difference. A possum who, despite seeming rather lazy, offers a lot of advice about foraging techniques and building comfortable habitats.

It is revealed that the eagle would have been the runt and likely would have died had nature been allowed to take its course. There is still tension when she learns just how her family died, but she realizes that Edelgard did everything possible to make up for it.

Along the way, Edelgard becomes more and more in tune with her wild side, and starts to learn more about what the Hegemon can really do. She can give herself wings, and she and the eagle learn to fly at the same time. Her claws she once thought monstrous now protect the things she cares about. She incorporates her tail into fighting. She uses magic now - magic that is wilder than anything she learned in school and allows her to feel more in touch with the forest. It isn't long before she feels more at home in the woods than she ever did in civilization, and she is happy to let this life be her new one forever.

Until the Agarthans learn she's still alive.

Dimitri and Byleth might have killed Thales, but a new leader took his place and succeeded in evading the King's attempts to snuff them out. Once the Agarthans learned that one of their most powerful weapons was still alive, they tracked her down and captured her (not without a fight, mind you). It then falls on her animal companions to stage a rescue mission, led by the eagle Edelgard saved, who rallies not just the main animals but many of the forest inhabitants as well.

The Agarthans tried to force Edelgard to obey them, going so far as to push her transformation to what Thales had originally envisioned for the Hegemon Husk (I always thought the Hegie we get in the game was still a transition stage, and that the true form of the Hegemon Husk would be like a twisted version of the Immaculate One - or an approximation of what Sothis' dragon form would look like). The eagle finds her while the others are stalling, and thanks to the Power of Love, snaps Edelgard out of her rage state. She then turns on the Agarthans, and succeeds in wiping them out. However, as she kills the leader, he wheezes out that there will always be more, and they won't stop until they have their weapon.

The animals celebrate their victory, but Edelgard can't get the Agarthan's words out of her head. Their forest home sustained heavy damage in the attack, and a number of animals died. Even amongst her main group, the stag had suffered a close call while charging an enemy mage, the badger broke his leg, and the wolf has a permanent scar across her eye. She makes a decision, then.

King Dimitri is in his castle in Faerghus, busy trying to work out a peace deal between Fódlan and Almyra. Suddenly a guard bursts into his study, stating hurriedly that there's some strange forest witch demanding to see the king. Dimitri, exhausted by paperwork, decides to humour this and heads for the audience chamber.

That's when he comes face to face with a ghost - or maybe demon. She wears an old, torn cloak covered in moss and a dress that looks to have come from the forest floor itself. The tips of golden horns peak through the hood of her cloak. A black eagle sits on her shoulder. She offers a cordial bow, revealing hands armed with obsidian claws. "Dimitri," she says in a voice he has heard countless times in his nightmares, "It has been a long time."

"...Edelgard?" he breathes. Goddess... What has become of her?

Edelgard smiled, revealing a glimpse of her fangs. "I come to you today with a proposition," she stated, "How do you feel about finally ridding the shadows of Fódlan of the wretched snakes that dwell there?"

[asktauros]

Tucker stumbles a bit and looks around shocked, he was too lost in thought to process that the game had started again Olive: Silver!! That wasn't very nice!

Silver: I SAID "heads up"! What else do you want me to do!! Olive gives Silver a angry pout expression and the bull returns the expression mockingly Copper moves closer to the fence, trying to peer over at Tucker Copper: A-are... are you o-okay Tucker? Tucker: Huh y.. yeah! Yeah I'm... Tucker looks around for a moment, his eyes readjusting to the area around him Copper:... M-maybe you n-need a break? Silver: Aww come on! The game JUST restarted!

Tucker: N-No! I'm.. I'm fine! I just... was... thinking... i-is all.. Silver lets out a overdramatic gasp Silver: YOU CAN THINK?! Olive tosses some grass clippings over at Silver in response Tucker shakes his head from side to side, as if trying to shake the memory from his mind. He grabs the apricorn and faces the others again Tucker: I'm ready again! Olive and Silver cheer in response and return to their positions Copper gives Tucker a concerned expression, but soon returns to their spot for the game to continue

-- -- -- -- [ the talk of the Dogs earlier seemed to have stirred some bad memories for Tucker... But he's fine now... ]

[ The children are continuing their game ]

[demonwebs-a]

like... okay, i just wanna say that while it is always important to handle sensitive topics with tact, i think it's okay for a character not to be traumatized by x thing, even if you personally would be. like every individual is different from each other and affected by different things on different levels, and i think it's important to acknowledge that when dealing with trauma also

[therealfailwhale]

Wei Ying, who was raised by the Jiangs but never felt fully a part of the family bc of Mdm Yu. When Jiang Fengmian dies, he gets so caught up in helping Yanli with the planning, coordinating, managing Mdm Yu and JC that he doesn’t even realize he hasn’t processed his foster father’s death. Wei Ying who disappears two months after JFM’s death. He drops out of uni, starts spending time with people who are no good for him, who take advantage of him, who devalue him. He drinks too much, sleeps around even when he doesn’t want to simply because it’s what the people he’s with expect. He hates himself.

Eventually the Wen siblings help get him back (mostly) on his feet. He still hasn’t reached out to the Jiangs bc at this point he’s too ashamed. But he’s getting things sorted, slowly.

And then Lan Zhan comes into his life. Lan Zhan whom he’d met a few times before JFM died, and who’s always been stunning but Wei Ying doesn’t remember the wonderful softness that he now sees in LZ’s face when they meet. It makes him feel…afraid, because no one’s really wanted him before, and how could Lan Zhan want him now? Better to not expect anything, he’s been hurt before and Lan Zhan is too kind to do anything but break his heart gently.

And then, 10 years after JFM died, he and LZ are hanging out (a thing they do pretty regularly, and it only hurts Wei Ying a little that they’re not together) he’s telling LZ about the time when JFM took him for ice cream one day when he’d been called to WY’s school to get him. And WY says “It hurt jiejie so much when he died” and Lan Zhan, who’s heard him acknowledge his foster siblings’ grief often, lays a hand on his forearm and says, “Wei Ying, you lost him too” and WY just *sits* there because not once, in nearly 10 years, has it occurred to him that he didn’t need permission to grieve. That he *did* lose someone, and it didn’t matter that JFM wasn’t his actual parent, it was someone he loved and who cared for him and then they were *gone*.

Wei Ying cries, and Lan Zhan pulls him in for an embrace that only makes him sob harder. When he eventually calms down, Lan Zhan makes him tea and Wei Ying just loves him so much. He’s reeling too much at the moment to do anything about it, but he knows that Lan Zhan is staying. He’s staying right by Wei Ying’s side, and if WY has anything to say about it (which he will) then he will never ever leave.

[thevoidwriting]

To a mother that never was, from a child that couldn't be.

You had a lot of dreams of how we'd be and turn out then your own dreams were crushed by your parents and the cycle started then and continued til none of us wanted kids, then one moved and your grip got tighter but as you got sicker that control became your everything since you couldn't cope being weak and needing to depend on others, now two kids are gone the oldest and the youngest.

I know your not holding up well and who could with how you were raised and how you decided to live your life, you choose to leave stop playing victim, stop fighting and just surrender. It's okay to admit weakness and seek help.

I love you mom but maybe you never really loved us just the control and worship aspect, maybe as a demon I've become I'll get better but as a goddess you took our trust and misused it and turned us against one another vs building us up. I hope others can learn from your mistakes and not hurt their own.

Like our lil cult at the college, I realized I missed those days cause it's when you were alive and thriving not so much me but you were. I miss seeing the smile the call center took, I miss Skyes laughter and roses dumb jokes most of all I miss who we all were at one time, a happy lil family waiting to be together after class. But now we're all grown and ready for our own path and it's time to let go.

Next page, next chapter and sometimes that means moving on in pieces and not whole, that's okay you started your life in pieces and so to will I. Only difference I know I will grow into a better person, did you ever?