#HELP ME GET UP
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babes did you fall off the earth or sum sum
ive flown too close to the sun (the guy i mentioned in my last post) babes 💔

#essie's answer#lingering ties series#HELP ME GET UP#I NEED YOUR HELP#LIKEEEE#I TALKED TO HIM LAST NIGHT
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.
#chronic pain#I guess#cripplepunk#crip punk#<— correct me if that’s overstepping#what do I tag this with#I obviously didn’t get a diagnosis#personal but I’m also really scared of needles#and having to go through the fear and pain and crying and screaming#for nothing#doesn’t feel good#people tell me it’s not “nothing#but I know exactly what I did before the tests#which is nothing!!#and I didn’t have to go through that pain for that!!!#also å few months ago I genuinely thought it was completely normal#later I realised that spending hours each morning warming up my hands to feel usable might be more pain and stiffness than other people#experienced#I genuinely didn’t expect all of my friends to say they didn’t feel ANY pain at all#and now I’m just hyper aware of how not normal this is#and I’m still in pain#and now I’m not gonna get any help other than a “try heat therapy from the doctor#which is what I was already doing#like no im not crying cause I’m not sick#it would be great if I wasn’t sick#but clearly something’s wrong
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and didn't expect this post to blow up, so don't take me for an authority, but i'm glad it resonated with so many of y'all
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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witches !!

#guys ive read like 5 more books since the last post and theyre all discworld help#anyway im up to witches abroad in the witches series i gotta get me hands on lords and ladies i think next#but thats for later because i found a second hand copy of night watch >:)#im struggling a lot with finished pieces rn but small gods rlly made me want to do some illustrations that shit was crazy#um yea#i have more sketches but these fit well together so be aware there will be more#i just seem to never have enough time to do everything i want#my art#art#artists on tumblr#character design#discworld#discworld fanart#granny weatherwax#magrat garlick#nanny oog#witches abroad#wyrd sisters#witches#yippee
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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Can we talk about this? I feel like not enough people talk about this happening in the movie
#he just gets so well behaved and domesticated so quickly#they set up his lone wolf edgelord personality and then after he realises he's been mean to these incredible people helping him#he becomes like... the goodest boy there ever was but in a silent cat type of way#donutdrawsthings#fanart#logan howlett#james logan howlett#xmen#x men#x-men#x men 2000#xmen 2000#charles xavier#xmen storm#xmen rogue#wolverine#the wolverine#bro the tags tumblr keeps recommending me when i type logan and wolverine oh my GODDDD everyone here is down bad#but ykw so am i
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some epilogue vibes (an excuse to draw some hugs. and my durge so many times)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#wyll#karlach#astarion#shadowheart#lae'zel#minsc#jaheira#durge#oc: noon#anyway as said attempting to tag late game stuff more just in case#spoilers in the tags also bc i'm gonna ramble lol ->#i'mm😔having played embrace durge for most of the game all the sweetness punched me in the face (affectionate) like girllllll lol😔😭<3#tho let wyll be hugged damnit >:(#(i wonder if they added wyll hug in the new patch? doubts i don't trust like that but huge if they did)#also idk why minsc got that ending lmao. i didn't even know there were diff outcomes just found out looking for his ref for this pic LOL#i helped nine fingers and the guild helped in the endfight?? idk what happened but godspeed my guy#also loved jaheira's ''good to see you please for the love of gods remember to never have kids''#minsc in the bg: ''i'm getting executed tomorrow💯💪''#also i didn't even know why karlach glowed blue then looked it up like oh😭😔🥺 ohhhhh
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:





#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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@wolfythewitch 's gravity fowls au, again...






Mcducket with Tate (when he was an egg)



Stan would sell 'mystery eggs' and it would just be rocks or something
#this au is consuming my mind get it out get it out!#drawing a marbled duck was way harder than I expected so I gave up. kinda#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity fowls#bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#Fiddleford mcducket. my beloved. why are you so hard to draw#art#fanart#traditional art#watercolor#this au will be the death of me#animal au#anyone ever heard that one story about a red hen that made bread and no one would help her or something? I loved that when I was a kid#Anyway. sorry for drawing your au. again...#I can't stop drawing this au send help
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when someone mentions using ai at me like chatgpt i physically feel my body recoil and my opinion of them rapidly decrease like in the sims
#how are you so proud of declaring it too#but thank you for doing so cause ew i need to get away from you#and those ppl on tiktok especially who are like ‘ well i only use it for xyz’ or#oh im neurodivergent it helps me in my daily life#genuinely. shut up
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how many hoodies can i give this kid
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuji mood continues with no signs of stopping ig#i love drawing folds on big ol hoodie sleeves gotta b one of my favourite items of clothing 2 draw#lmao idk if any1 remembers th band au that i was turning over in my head a year ago but ths where i got th hoodie logo idea#imaginary band merch. easter egg fr me and the 2 other people who were paying attention while i hyperfixated on tht au for a week#anyway i am wearing this yuuji i love him so much#this always happens sdhsdfj i draw myself a Dedicated Icon but then end up ditching it for some other random piece i finish the next week#2025 year of the yuuji ig#unless i fall in love w th next megu i draw and decide to go back 2 my roots which is always a possibility#u know ive been megumi on a dark red background for so long tht when i swapped i ws like. who is this who am i#i feel like im breaking dress code. betraying my brand image#its chill tho ill get used 2 it#helps tht it still more or less goes with my header and preferred colour palette#also lil pockey yuuji 2 match th gojo i did i LOVE this chibi style i want 2 put them in jars#maybe ill draw more and compile them all sitting in a line
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#ice ice baby#polls#pls rb i want a good sample size#we can't ALL die of scurvy it's not mathematically possible! someone has to succumb to exposure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i could have included sooooo many more medical ailments i am being restrained#it could be its own separate poll#anyway so many of these are me and i would love to die of some horrible disease but i would fall into a crevasse#i do not look where i walk and there have been multiple occasions in my life where i have unintentionally climbed into a ravine & got stuck#one of which i had to us tree roots to climb up a rock face and i should have fallen and died#the other option was getting washed away by the tide lmao#and i was too embarrassed to call my boss for help#hi andrea can you send a boat to come get me i'm stuck at the bottom of hole in the wall and can't get back up#greatest (s)hits
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pmd eos special episode 2 but it's mob pyscho 100
#pmd2#my art#armaldo#guildmaster wigglytuff#igglybuff#special episode 2#se2#uhhh forget how ugly armaldo is and look at igglybuff the prodigy. hes cute#i was surprised when i rewatched se2 and found out that armaldo was basically super nice from the start#i genuinely had mixed it up with mob psycho and thought armaldo started WAAAAY more selfish and uncaring than he actually does#anyways everyone give it up for the pmd eos dad ever#tho tbh eos doesnt have that many dads. theres dugtrio chatot and armaldo. its uh. not a very exciting competition#even armaldo isnt that close to a dad to me. he really feels like a friend. mentor. weird uncle. but i think hes cool enough to get to dad#it probably doesnt help that igglybuff has two loving living parents that we see him interact with lmfao theres not even a gap here to fill#pmd eos#pokemon mystery dungeon
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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic
#bloodweave#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual#the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max#I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together#toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable#I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him#and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale#and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually#helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god#at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again
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in the best case scenario my asexuality is a ticking time bomb that will have to be dealt with family-wise sooner or later. In today’s society it’s just not a normal accepted thing to simply be by yourself your whole life. Especially as people start breaking off into the family structure and friends who were once your community and support system become a smaller presence in your life because spouses and kids take precedence— I don’t know any ace people who haven’t worried at some point about dying alone. You don’t simply ‘have a housemate friend’ you live with where e.g. there is someone there for you if you have a sudden emergency. What if you can’t move? What if you’re ill and can’t get out of bed? I’m glad our worlds are better connected today, but the chances that you’ll be with someone safe and known if that happens are smaller than if you’ve got your own family, right? Or is the bleak best case scenario that an ace person has an emergency while at work?
Aces are a pretty small % of the population in general. To say you’ll find another ace person and cohabit is a really small chance. As most people start to move in with their partners, single people, ace people kind of find themselves either priced out of housing options unless rich, or being forced to find other strangers in unusual living circumstances.
I don’t know. I just feel like you are left more on your own in a societal structure that prioritises two-parent-and-children households. Or more generally, that sets you up for marital and couples living rather than necessarily community living, at least in the west.
So what I’m saying is that maybe ‘oppression’ isn’t the word to bring to the advocacy table. It is saying that maybe the thing to remember is that ‘oppression’ won’t look the same for everyone. It’s a reminder that comparing the weight of apples and watermelons doesn’t even make sense.
(This isn’t even aimed at the shortsighted people that think pride is all about labels and being ‘in’ the club. This post is aimed at people that remember pride is a political struggle to improve the lives of people left behind by our current norms. It’s why e.g. disability activists also calling their advocacy disability pride is instantly understood by most.)
It’s why ‘[x] queer group is so not oppressed’ is the emptiest and most wasteful statement you could make in the context of queer rights advocacy.
#Please remember#Queer#queer rights#amatonormativity#asexual#asexuality#aromantic#aromantism#aspec#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#queer community#lgbtq#pride#Bit sick today and it just brings idle (but valid) spectres up#Was ill last month to the point I didn’t get out of bed the first day (didn’t zip up my jacket and presumably caught icy winds)#And I live with a housemate who was so fucking sweet to me and helped me so much#One year during lockdown I was by myself in a 1-bed (covid restrictions) and had the worst period I’ve ever had in my life. Saw stars#Dialled mum but I couldn’t even squeak the words out— and she’s 1000s of kilometres away; she can’t do anything and I can’t even#reach for painkillers. I was 21. What happens when I’m 45. What happens when I’m 70.#What happens when I don’t have a partner then and my friends have kids to look after. If they’ve kept in touch beyond casual acquaintance.#So yeah it’s bleak but that stuff kinda keeps me up
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