#Help me god...

[funtergeist]

hey so can you just kill me with a hammer instead .

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[ringosmistress]

[spr0utsies]

[vanilla-extracter]

witches !!

[rocketbirdie]

remember those chef boyardee commercials? that's how the millennium ring keeps finding its way back to bakura

[angstflavoured]

i dont think bill would be used to someone actually liking him.... especially as much as ford did like it was embarrassing

[greykolla-art]

It’s healthy to step out of our comfort zone’s a little!😜

[murasaki-cha]

Yesterday it was God Games by gigi and today it's I Can’t Help But Wonder by Ximena I need to lie down I can't do this I'm absolutely sobbing

Also you want a certified method of making me cry on the spot? Just show me a pic of young Odysseus and baby Telemachus. Works 12 out of 10 times

[sewer-sermon]

tfw you visibly base your entire identity around One Specific Character Or Thing so that whenever it gets brought up (or left out) of a conversation you look like this pointing it out

[paperclipninja]

I swear trying to write smut feels like:

His hands were hands and then the fingers were in the hand and the hand was with the fingers and the fingers had the hand in the other hand then the fingers dragged to the hand with the fingers and it was hot

[choshasan]

massive rant about my being semi-illeterate..

I don't get people who can learn by reading like.. it's never worked for me, my brain just gets rly fucking overwhelmed or I just wind up spacing out/side tracked every couple of words and like.. I'm a pretty slow reader as well.. I've never been able to re read myself after I wrote an eassay or anything, and with every class I failed, the problem came down to reading, my native language being french, I was in a french class with extra support for most of middle school and highschool, and I failed/came very close to failing several classes where there was a lot of reading to do, I've always been great at science, math and art, but always fell short on projects/assignements where there was a lot of text to read because I couldn't get through it.. in french and english class, if we had to read a book, I'd have to have someone read it to me, or I couldn't get through it, and most books were like 200-300 small pages at bestb, whenever we got exams where we had to read a text / extract and then answer to questions, I'd skip the reading, read the questions first and then skim through the pages of text to find the extract I needed for the answer. And it's honestly worst reading in my mother tongue, french, than in english, hell, I've found times where latin languages, such as spanish, italian and portuguese, were easier for me to read than french, and I barely know any of those 3 langauges.

My handwriting's also been terrible my entire life, obviously as a child I wrote like a child, but it slowly grew into chicken scratch that has been compared to doctor's handwriting and serial killer's handwriting. I have no idea why reading and writing is so hard for me, like.. for french I get why it takes me more time, cuz I gave up on it as soon as I learned english, finding english simpler, and most of my friends speaking english as their 1st or 2nd langauges and french as theyr 2nd/3rd, it was easier to speak with them like that, and, whenever I'm reading french, if I find a word that I have no idea how it is pronounced, I'm just sounding it out, like genuinly, if I saw Wednesday in french I'd just be like yupp. That is wed-uh-ness-day. And like, I'm not Dyslexic, I can see and read letters perfectly fine, so that's not impairing my reading at all, I just can't *focus* at all.. and it gets to be exhausting. Like, I often find myself having to re read the same lines several times. But thennn, and Idk if it's related, but I can't watch tv without subtitles. Like.. I can't hear shit. I also have this problem where like.. I don't learn from my mistakes.. like.. no matter how many times I'm told, idk if it's Convinience/Convenience, so I just resorte to calling convinience/convenience stores by the japanese "Konbini" because that I can remember. And also, I've been hammered about it to the point its become very rare, but for most of my life I've written Very as Verry, and I tend to add a lot of double letteres where there aren't cuz.. it just seems like there'd be.. I also do this thing where.. instead of learning how to write a word, I'll abv it.. like Abv, that I have no idea if it has one B or two Bs, or Comfy, because in my head it makes no sence that it's actually spelled come-for-table.. because why the fuck is the word for something that's comfy.. COME. FOR. TABLE.?! I do also get very confused about words when I hear them pronounced a way I am not used to, but do recognised the word.. like.. I've been broken since John Mulaney's Baby J came out, because he pronounces Fearal as "Fear-al" and I've alwayd said it as "Fer-al" and now idk which one's right! There's also Tom Segura saying Whilst as "whilst' when I always read it as "While-st". But anyway, back to my not being able to read propperly, I can't really read anything more than a manga or comic book, because like.. images are entertaining to my brain.. they don't even help me understand what's going on better, like, I don't have aphantasia, I can picture a book without images in my head, I just preffer images, they're concrete, I *know* thats what the character looks like, good.

But anyway, even with manga, like.. I read one chapter and then I'm like.. help me god I long for death please this was torture.., I do sometimes get lost in a story and manage to enjoy it so much I don't even realise I'm reading, it's often happened to me with very good fanfictions, and with manga/manhwa,

But I'm like literally incapable of finishing a novel on my own... I've finished, in my 18, soon 19, years of life, 1 novel on my own. It was the poison apple book "the dead end" by mimi mccoy and it took me 3 months, for refferance, I was 12 and that was a 174pages book... currently, the one novel I have gotten myself to read, is the 1st Boku No Hero Academia School Breifs, that I bougjt, not knowing they were novels, and I have read 1 chapter. I bought this book like 1 or 2 years ago? Started it I believe end of 2023, begining or 2024... we're in july..

I also am reading the delux edition of killing stalking, the first book, (rip me for buying a book that has errors and mistakes in it) and, I have made it 1 chapter in.. I have read the entire story online, but for some reason, the physical copy, I just can't... and like, I have this problem online too, I often give up on reading tublr posts that are too long, like.. I'd never read my own posts if I wasn't the one posting them.. and I preffer to read one shots rather than fanfics because fanfics tend to be too long for my brain to stay engaged, same with reading manga/mamhwa online, sometimes I can't even stay engaged for the full first chapter... and its not that I dont like it, my brain just gives up on reading..

And like, yes, I could use audio books, but those throw me off becauae the voices are always wrong to me, so I get literally grossed out by it and give up.. and even TTS fucks me up, I can't follow what it says without reading..

I also can't read if there's noise, but I can't read if there's no noise at all either.. whitenoise throws me off, ASMR as well, music just ends up with me signing / dancing, or feeling overwhelmed, and people speaking is the absolute worst because I get so thrown off and have to restart over and over again..

And like.. idk... I just can't read propperly.. I know my father isn't that great at reading / writing either because he learned to sound out words to spell them too, and never learned propper english, but he does enjoy reading as far as I've heard and can read at a pretty average pace, my brother reads pretty slow and has a bit of trouble writing because he just never learned to spell words either, but he can read well, and he somewhat enjoys it.. like.. he doesn't LOVE reading, but he doesn't dislike it, when he gets into a book, he reads it to the end.

My mother, is a slow reader, but she *loves* reading, my entire life, she's owned 100's of books, her favourite author being Mary Higgins Clark. And my mother was that kid that was always top of her class in french and english, and she even works as a translator, and has a degree in translation. (Yes, she finds great despair in her kid being so bad at reading / writing, but she does her best to find a way to interest me in it and find ways to help me, like doing word search puzzles with me, or bribing me with manga in french, english and japanese, because she knows that I'll gladly read those, she also enjoys playing those games where you have a circle with letters in it and you have to connect the letters to fill the grid with words on mobile..)

Anyway, back to what I was saying, I *am* AuDHD if that helps in anyway? Like.. ik I have a short attention span and that falls down to that, and my constant being overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time, but.. idk if its that that makes me unable to propperly read, or if I'm just dumb af lmao..

Anyway, all this rant was just to say, I'm trying to learn japanese, amongst other languages, and even 5 or 6 years later?? I still can't propperly speak, read or write in japanese,

And I was given books to learn korean today, from one of my brother's friend who already can speak read and write in korean, and like.. 1. My chicken scratch trenscends languages and alphabets, 2. I'm not learning shit at all and I can't get past the 1st pages of text, so I just have fun doing the caligraphy exercises entirely wrong because fuck stroke order as long as I can replicate the shape well enough that you can tell what it says and I'm not breaking my wrist, idc. But like.. the reading part breaks me..

Like to this day, I have not memorised either katakana or hiragana or hangeul, despite seeing them every single day of my life because I surround myself with japanese & korean media.. and don't get me started on Kanji, I know TWO. And those are 愛 and 月

Which is Ai (love) and Tsuki (moon) and I learned those, because I see them very often.

I know more japanese words than I can read / write, like, obviously I'm familiar with the typical anime lingo, Kawaii, sugoi, subarashi, daijobu, tatakae, boku, anata, ore, atashi, watashi, shojo, shonen, seinen, neko, inu, tori, daisuki, aishiteru, sukidesu, suika, Yandere, tsundere, ETC... and thanks for anime and japanese youtube, because that's where I've learned the most like

Midoriya taught me Midori means Green, and youtube taught me that green light is Ao (blue) light, because back in the days (...)

Kaminari taught me that's the name for lightning/thunder

Tsuyu taught me that frogs say Kero instead of Ribbit in japanese

And I can really go on, like I've learned so much from anime and youtube..

The one thing I haven't managed to learn, is sentance structure! Like..

I know that if I wanna say "I ate an apple yesterday" it would ve "apple eat", thanks to the japanese lessons I took back when there was a website I won't name that wasn't a bitch locking content away behind a paywall and was totally free :/

I also used Duolingo back in the days it wasn't shitty and didn't use AI rather than actually teaching some level of langauge and wasn't only poppular for it's semi-funny social media presence..

Uhm, anyway.. this is getting really long..

The point is in the end, I can't propperly read or write, in any language.. and idk why, maybe I'm just someone with a low learning capacity :P (am dumm)

Oh btw.. this doesn't impair my capacity to take in information btw, like.. I'm not some dumbass who half reads an article and then assumes shit from the part I read.. I just have to have someone read it out to me, but from there, I'm very capable of understanding things. (And yes, I *can* mostly, tell fake news from real news, and I check sources)

Anyway.. thanks for reading, no matter if you made it all the way through this :]

[axiliern]

god please take every traumatic incident i had as a younger sibling and give it to tim drake

[lui-the-cute-snek]

Quit your job, join our toxic yuri polycule

a bit inpired by this post because it opened my eyes to the shipping possibilities

also here's a close up of them

[webweabings]

BE STRONG, BE BRAVE

Poem “Problem Area” (2016), in Last Sext, by Melissa Broder; // Unknown; // “The Waves” (1931), by Virgina Woolf; // “Notebooks” (2017), by Tennessee Williams; // “Fast Car” (1988), by Tracy Chapman; // “The American Crisis” (1776), by Thomas Paine; // Quote by @maplepecanpastry /// Stills from “Joan of Arc” (1948), by Victor Fleming, starring Ingrid Bergman

[keymintt]

(to taste) only enough to know what you cannot have